Celebrated Fictional Relationships That Are Actually F'ed Up
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Vote up the fictional relationships that actually seem unhealthy when you think about it
Fictional couples that seem to be perfect for each other until you really think about it. Boy meets girl, boy and girl face some sort of drama together, boy gets girl. That’s the basic storyline of almost every romance film ever made, yet we swoon every single time. Stale plotlines be damned! The love stories that play out in books, on our TVs and on the big screen inform our real-life hopes and dreams: aren’t we all just searching for the Noah to our Allie, the Big to our Carrie, the Simba to our Nala?
We took a look some of cinema’s most iconic couples and realized, in retrospect, that we’ve been romanticizing some straight-up unhealthy fictional relationships. Read on: you won’t see these unhealthy movie and TV relationships the same way ever again.- Photo:
- Universal Pictures
Why We Swooned: Tortured, damaged Christian falls for innocent Ana and persuades her to become part of his BDSM lifestyle. Their story is sordid and sexy and kind of a turn on.
Why It Was Actually F'ed Up: Christian totally takes advantage of Ana, who is young and inexperienced. He low-key stalks her until she’s hooked, then proceeds to tell Ana what she can eat, how to dress and even how to groom her pubic hair. As if that isn’t enough, Christian buys the publishing firm that Ana works for because he needs to control every aspect of her life. He’s more than just a control-freak; he’s abusive.Does this seem unhealthy?- Photo:
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- Netflix
Why We Swooned: Piper and Alex found love in a hopeless place—Litchfield Prison. Their chemistry is admittedly insane.
Why It Was Actually F'ed Up: Piper and Alex can’t stop screwing each other over. Alex throws Piper under the bus to get out of jail; Piper is the reason that Alex lands back in jail. They both put themselves first with no regard for how their actions will affect the other.Does this seem unhealthy?- Photo:
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- ABC Family
Why We Swooned: Who doesn’t get off on the idea of a forbidden romance? Ezra is Aria’s high school English teacher…but they actually do seem perfect together.
Why It Was Actually F'ed Up: Except…Ezra is Aria’s high school English teacher. No matter how cute or perfect it is, this relationship is 100% illegal and falls under the umbrella of statutory rape. Plus, Ezra basically lied to Aria throughout their whole relationship—and two wrongs do not make a right.Does this seem unhealthy?- Photo:
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- HBO
Why We Swooned: Carrie and Big’s story is a modern classic. They kept us on the edge of our seats in “will they or won’t they?” anticipation for years until they finally got married and settled down—but not until the second Sex and the City movie.
Why It Was Actually F'ed Up: Big is Carrie’s perfect man in every way: he’s funny, rich and good in bed. One problem: he’s completely emotionally unavailable. Carrie chases him for years until he finally proposes, only to leave her at the altar! Theirs is not a relationship to idolize; in real life, if a man is that distant, you need to run.Does this seem unhealthy?- Photo:
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- Universal Pictures
Why We Swooned: Every Christmas, we swoon all over again when Mark shows up on Juliet’s doorstep to confess his true feelings with handwritten signs: “To Me, You Are Perfect.”
Why It Was Actually F'ed Up: Mark’s behavior throughout the film is predatory, stalker-ish, and cray cray. First, he ruins Juliet’s wedding video by creepily zooming in on her face—and her face only—for the whole ceremony. Rude. Then, he treats her like shit to mask his true affection, like a six-year-old in the schoolyard (not that that’s acceptable behavior for six-year-olds, either). Finally, he goes behind his best friend’s back to share his feelings with Juliet, tempting her to cheat on her husband. Keep it to yourself, Mark!Does this seem unhealthy?- Photo:
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- Universal Pictures
Why We Swooned: When the popular girl and the alternative outcast kiss at the end of The Breakfast Club, worlds collide. We love that their love crosses the riskiest of lines: high school social castes.
Why It Was Actually F'ed Up: John verbally and physically assaults Claire, calling her a bitch and even wedging his head between her legs. He is condescending and mean and still gets the girl. Huh?Does this seem unhealthy?- Photo:
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Why We Swooned: At the movie’s end, bad-boy Danny Zuko puts his heart first and risks looking like a dork to win over Sandy. Danny and Sandy’s story gives us hope that a summer fling can turn into a long-term thing.
Why It Was Actually F'ed Up: Throughout the film, Danny humiliates Sandy in order to uphold his reputation. They eventually get together by changing who they are completely: good girl Sandy ditches her saddle shoes for cigarettes and Danny trades in his leather jacket for a letterman’s sweater. That’s not how love should work, is it?!Does this seem unhealthy?- Photo:
- Walt Disney Pictures
Why We Swooned: Beauty and The Beast is the epitome of the phrase, “Love conquers all.” Belle and the Beast overcome every imaginable obstacle to find love together. Be still, our elementary school hearts.
Why It Was Actually F'ed Up: The Beast captures Belle and holds her prisoner. He abuses her by shouting, throwing things at her and locking her up. Belle essentially develops Stockholm syndrome to “fall in love” with the Beast. When you think of it that way, the whole thing seems a little less romantic.Does this seem unhealthy?- Photo:
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- New Line Cinema
Why We Swooned: When we find out that the old man and woman in the nursing home are actually Noah and Allie, there’s no way not to love their story. Their love is magical; it gives Allie miraculous moments of clarity amidst her struggle with Alzheimer's.
Why It Was Actually F'ed Up: The beginning is where this classic love story is f’ed up. Allie tells Noah, “No” so many times. Instead of respecting her wishes and leaving her alone, he essentially threatens to kill himself by jumping off of a Ferris wheel if Allie doesn’t accept his date invitation. In real life, that would be beyond creepy.Does this seem unhealthy?- Photo:
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- Columbia Tri-Star Pictures
Why We Swooned: Joey and Pacey were the anti-heroes of ‘90s coupledom. Their relationship wasn’t obvious, but once it happened, we couldn’t imagine Joey ever ending up with Dawson. Pacey all the way!
Why It Was Actually F'ed Up: Joey’s speech to Pacey as they are about to have sex for the first time is actually 100% creepy. She says, “This is because you carried my bag of the bus. This is because you taught me how to drive.” Joey makes it seem like she thinks she owes Pacey sex—not OK.Does this seem unhealthy?- Photo:
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- Paramount Pictures
Why We Swooned: Love that transcends earthly barriers gets us every time. Sam stands by Molly’s side, even in death, to protect her.
Why It Was Actually F'ed Up: Sam never told Molly that he loved her while he was alive. When she said those three little words to him, his response was always, “Ditto.” It was so out of character for Sam to say, “I love you” that Molly doesn’t believe that his ghost is really with her until he says, “Ditto” instead of, “I love you.” That’s just sad.Does this seem unhealthy?- Photo:
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- 20th Century Fox
Why We Swooned: Four words: “I’ll never let go.” The iconic story of young love that lasts through life, death and beyond makes us cry every time.
Why It Was Actually F'ed Up: Alright, maybe “f’ed up” is a bit of a strong term—but let’s not forget that Jack and Rose only knew each other for a couple of days. How many times have you sworn you were falling in love after an amazing first date, only to have that flame burn out days, weeks, months later? Who knows if Jack and Rose’s love would’ve stood the test of time had they both survived?Does this seem unhealthy?- Photo:
