1984
BILL O'REILLY AT KATU??

This video can't be real...it must be a Barack Obama conspiracy!

COURAGE. CLOUT. (Non-marital) COMMITMENT. BOB PACKWOOD.

He's the CLOUTIEST!

1986
NEW! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!

This was the height of Tom Peterson's career: his giant face all over 82nd, three buildings' worth of his products next to each other, "Tom's Trolley"...the man was unstoppable, or so we thought.

NEW! G.I. JOE'S

I never thought I'd see G.I. Joe's vanish either, but I've heard rumors someone wants to restart the store again.

MR. PLYWOOD

Mr. Plywood is so in-your-face.

"TWO"

Another obscurity from KATU. The name isn't even accurate--it came on at four.

IS THIS MAN GOING TO EXPLOIT THE CENTENNIAL ANNIVERSARY OF LADY LIBERTY BY USING CHEESY SENTIMENTALITY JUST TO SELL CARS??

Duh.

BI-MART CIRCA 1986

Does anyone here remember the act of "jarring"? My grandma does...

FAR WEST FEDERAL BANK

A lot of banks either died or merged in the early 90's, and this was one of the casualties. It was swallowed by Bank of America.

VANCOUVER FURNITURE

"....Simply sells.....for less." I don't know who Nancy is, I just wanted the song.

SMITHS HOME FURNISHINGS

Nobody cares like Smiths.

1987
KGW-TV CELEBRATES 30 YEARS

Yes, they did remember their 50th in 2007.

CHANNEL 8: THE TEAM THAT WORKS FOR YOU

Works for me!

RAD BAD BLAZERS

Just imagine. If it weren't for FPO, people would actually get away with burying moments like this.

STEREO SUPER STORES

I don't think the "Stereo Stupid Stores" moniker is ever going to go away. If it weren't for this company existing, we'd be riding a rollercoaster on 82nd shaped like Tom Peterson's head by now.

KUPL #2

Now this one's more familiar-looking.

THE JOY OF TEXT

Does anyone remember text-based local cable channels? The pre-Internet place to post stupid videos, community messages and school lunch menus? I have a ton of this footage, way more than any rational human should possess, but I figure the interest is minimal. How do you feel...wanna see more?

A.M. NORTHWEST CIRCA 1987

The much shorter opening KATU used in the latter half of the 1980's.

FRED MEYER '87 AD GALLERY

Three vintage Fred Meyer ads.

EVERYBODY'S GOT ONE

Even the Jammin' Salmon's got one! ...You DO know what we're talking about, right?

AT KOIN, WE'RE SLAVEDRIVERS

We make our reporters and anchormen work on weekends, and then we not only freely admit it but make it a selling point! Choose the station with the most worker abuse....KOIN local 6!

JUST SAY NO! COME ON, SAY IT! "NO!"

The local "Just Say No Club" of green-shirted children joined forces with some truckers, to form a "Convoy Against Drugs." I wonder if this was Nancy's idea.

CONTEMPORARY CRAFT GALLERIES 50th ANNIVERSARY

This one is kinda dumb. I wasn't sure whether or not to put it up, but eventually decided "why not." Fair warning.

CHANNEL 8: THE TEAM THAT STILL WORKS FOR YOU

And here's another 1980's KGW promo.

1988
NEVER TOO OLD TO ROCK AND ROLL

Three office monkeys playing air guitar makes this the best ad of 1988 by far.

LES SCHWAB "FREE BEEF" AD FROM 1988

I'm surprised this hasn't caught on. If CBS offered free beef, I might actually watch it.

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN SAVINGS AND LOAN

A beach-bopper couple from the 50's becomes a money-grubbing couple from the 80's, thanks to the BENJAMIN FRANKLIN!

SMITHS HOME FURNISHINGS

Nobody cares like Smiths. NOBODY. Not even your mom. Not even her!

END SEQUENCE FROM "KPDX KIDS CLUB"

I'm eternally grateful to the person who sent this one in....I thought I'd NEVER see this again.

KPDX "SMALL WONDER" PROMO

If there were ever any doubts about what audience that show was targeting, this should lay them to rest. Small Wonder was clearly for kids...and your crazy aunt.

PRICE ARE COMING DOWN

Super Bob Kendall Hyper Chevy Sale Transformation Monkey Force Go!!

TONY THE TIGER STALKS PORTLAND

This ad solves a big mystery from the folders of my childhood: one autographed picture of a guy in a Tony the Tiger costume. I could never figure out how I wound up with such a thing, but now I know: Tony must have visited the apartments where I and a million other kids lived. I don't think he came to my door, but I must have caught him strolling 'round.

80'S FASHION AT FRED MEYER

This one is more radical than FIVE teenagers with mullets named "Corey"!

PAY LESS DRUGSTORE

Though it's not very audible, this has the 80's Pay Less theme song, which played on the radio speakers every single time you were inside one.

A 60-SECOND TOUR OF CANNON BEACH, CIRCA 1988

Ahh, the memories. Now Ecola Square is dead, and the ice cream shop and bakery are in different places. ...But seriously, Teresa, who thinks about calories in the bakery?

NEWLY REMODELED 80'S FRED MEYERS

The Gateway Fred Meyer also got this same makeover. It lasted two months before they made that store over AGAIN.

1989
THAT DARN SPOTTED OWL

You either wanted to hug or lynch him.

THE KATU "SPIRIT OF THE NORTHWEST" THEME SONG!

Just to remove all doubt: I made this by stitching together two ads that played the first half of the song, and the second half respectively. I'm sure a proper full version lies out there somewhere...do you got it?

THE BACKSIDE OF TED KULONGOSKI, CIRCA 1989

Enjoy.

FIRST INTERSTATE BANK

They went the extra mile for you.

OY, MATE! NOW IF YOU COME TO BRUCE CHEVROLET, YOU CAN GIT A FREE COWBOY HAT!

FREE HAT! FREE HAT!

REVENGE OF THE NOID

Curse that Dominos....

1990
PM MAGAZINE WRAPAROUNDS OF CURIOSITY #1

Margie Boule takes viewers on a tour of the Oregonian offices, circa January 1990. Suffice it to say, the cut-and-paste process shown here isn't how you make a newspaper anymore. Consider it more of a museum exhibit...

PM MAGAZINE WRAPAROUNDS OF CURIOSITY #2

The next day's episode: behind the scenes at Z100 Morning Zoo! A feature story on Matt Groening is mentioned here; remember that this was January 1990 and The Simpsons had just begun. Guess what...Dad cut that part of the episode out! He left in the Phantom Food Reviewer that day but he didn't record the most historically relevant part! There is no emoticon for the rage I am feeling!