It finally happened.
After nearly fourteen years of marital bliss, Husbandrinka and I ran out of things to fight about. I realized this last week when he and I scraped the bottom of the fighting barrel and argued over who had the more exciting day in terms of the subway ride.
So I’m going to shoehorn our two stories into a I’m Right, You’re Wrong feature, disguising whose story is which and letting you weigh in.
No pressure. My marriage is at stake, but now that same-sex marriage is legal in New York, I’m sure I’ll get remarried in no time.
Disagreement: Who has the better subway story?
Disagreers: Marinka and Husbandrinka
Position One: I was standing in the subway car, reading the newspaper. I turned the page and the woman who was sitting down in front of me, said, “Please stop turning the pages, it’s hurting my eyes.” I had no idea what she was talking about, so I asked if I’d touched her. And she said, “no, you didn’t touch me, but the pages turning is distracting.”
Position Two: I saw Piccasso on the subway. And I have photographic evidence.
Hi, I'm Pablo Picasso. On the subway.
I'm Picasso. Somewhere in France. One day, I will ride the NYC subway.
So. Which is the better story: crazy subway lady or a Picasso sighting?
One year ago ...
- Two Hands - 2012
{ 74 comments… read them below or add one }
Twitter: HalalaMama
June 27, 2011 at 12:22 am
An appearance of a dead Picasso beats bitchy, possibly crazy NYC Subway lady any day of the week.
Twitter: grandemocha
June 30, 2011 at 7:35 pm
Agreed.
Girl, you win this one hands down!!
This is a close one, but I like crazy page turning lady.
Twitter: charismatickid
June 27, 2011 at 12:39 am
Here’s the problem… did the picasso guy KNOW he looked like picasso?
If he did, then that story blows.
If he had no idea, then that story rules.
I’m going with crazy subway lady. Coz Picasso is DEAD, you know.
Twitter: mommyshorts
June 27, 2011 at 2:33 am
Picasso is a better story. Coz Picasso is DEAD, you know.
Twitter: MamaWantsThis
June 27, 2011 at 3:53 am
Subway crazy lady totally beats Picasso lookalike. Hands down.
Twitter: letmestart
June 27, 2011 at 6:36 am
There are crazy people complaining about random shizz on the train every day.
But Picasso? In a sweater he obviously hand-washes with Woolite to keep in such pristine condition? Taking the train at the EXACT same moment as you?
You win.
EXACTLY!
Wasn’t it nice of him to wear that same sweater?
I vote Picasso.
Twitter: amommyinthecity
June 27, 2011 at 7:19 am
Subway rides are always the best. I could sit and people watch for hours on it. I would say the crazy lady story is better.
I can’t get past the hands on the Picasso pic
Are those real? A stack of caibatta Buns on the table?
Is this why he painted the way he did ?
My head hurts.
OMG.
How did I not notice those hands before? Now I will never sleep again.
Twitter: waitinthevan
June 27, 2011 at 10:53 pm
OH. MY. GOD.
I hadn’t noticed that either, and now I want to cry which means I’m totally voting for Husbandrinka.
Picasso. Picasso dressed as elvis would have been better.
Twitter: Dimsumdebutante
June 27, 2011 at 7:27 am
Too bad the subway Picasso didn’t have croissant fingers like the real dude. A snack would have been nice to nourish Position 2 for the impending argument.
Twitter: asideofrice
June 27, 2011 at 7:43 am
And I thought my commuter bus rides were ripe with amazing sightings and outlandish conversations. I’m gonna go with Picasso, cuz I’m sure page-turning freakout bitch can be found any day of the week. Picasso doppelganger, not so much.
Twitter: allfookeduptoo
June 27, 2011 at 7:49 am
I have to go with Picasso because in truth, he’s dead.
Twitter: Peajaye
June 27, 2011 at 8:36 am
I can’t believe you didn’t ask Picasso to draw you something on a napkin so that you could sell it and put your kids through college.
I don’t know about fancy West Coast subways, but our NYC ones don’t come with napkins. We have to wipe up our blood with our sleeves.
I’m going to go with Picasso simply because a crazy lady on the subway would just be a normal run of the mill day – wouldn’t it?
Crazy subway lady. Crazy subway people are so fun. One time I was on the subway, a passenger sneezed, another passenger completely freaked out and ran off the subway screaming when we got to the next stop. True story.
I’d go with crazy subway lady, but I have a hard time believing a man would take a picture of another man…so you probably did that? So I’m wrong, I’m afraid.
Crazy subway lady!
Really tough one…but I’d pick Picasso sighting. The newspaper lady isn’t a fun story to re-tell, it just summons up hostility of anyone who has ever taken public transportation. Or maybe that’s just me…
Twitter: jukeboxbarb
June 27, 2011 at 9:31 am
Spirit riding a train with you trumps almost anything. Did you make eye contact? Did it have eyes?
Sorry to say, but I think the crazy lady asking your husband not to turn the pages of his newspaper is a better story – I am usually on your side!
Twitter: alittlepregnant
June 27, 2011 at 10:22 am
Well,
some people try to pick up girls
and get called an asshole
this never happened to Pablo Picasso
he could walk down your street
and girls could not resist to stare
So: Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole
– Modern Lovers, “Pablo Picasso”
what? How is a complaining subway rider exciting? The only exciting part is that somebody actually talked on the subway and wasn’t trying to preach the end of days.
The picasso was way more exciting, because the thrill of taking an illicit cell phone picture while pretending to be texting knows no bounds. I mean, I can never pull it off, because my cell phone invariably flashes or makes a picture taking noise, or the camera freezes, or I hold it up very obviously in front of my face, so whenever I see this kind of bravery, I immediately get excited on the hero’s behalf.
Thank you for understanding and appreciating my heroism.
I vote for crazy subway lady. I ride the NYC subway every day and that is an especially weird and crazy story.
Hands down, crazy subway lady.
When I was in NYC one year, we were going back home and taking the subway at like 5 a.m. after a night of partying, and some strange dude started playing with my hair on the subway. I was signalling “I AM GOING TO DIE HELP ME” to my friends with my eyes but they were just staring back at me in shock, and NO ONE CAME TO MY RESCUE. So I let weird dude on the subway play with my hair because otherwise, I know I would have been shot if I had said anything.
Husbandrinka’s is more SCARY than interesting because everyone knows you don’t respond to the insane on the subway. Has he gone crazy? You win. I will marry you.
Twitter: AnnaLefler
June 27, 2011 at 11:46 am
I just told my husband to stop scrolling his mouse because it’s agitating my aorta.
If we had a subway here in LA, I’d pick this stuff up much more quickly.
~ A.
Picasso. No question.
I vote for the page turning makes my eyes hurt story. You can find look-alikes everywhere. The page turning incident…only on the subway.
Twitter: hotcomestodie
June 27, 2011 at 12:47 pm
This one is so easy I can’t believe I have to take 2 minutes out of my life to comment. CRAZY SUBWAY LADY. Duh.
I can’t believe that comment took you two minutes.
Twitter: danasfeast
June 27, 2011 at 12:55 pm
Picasso is a poseur. Crazy lady is all kinds of crazy. Her story wins.
Oh, Picasso. Crazy ladies are a dime a dozen.
I think I have to go with the newspaper lady. Because while I’ve never even seen a subway much less ridden in one I can totally relate to how sometimes people doing things like turning newspaper pages can be so irritating. And eye bothering.
Twitter: adhocmom
June 27, 2011 at 1:18 pm
So, neither of you saw Elvis on the subway? Because that would have been something.
This weekend I saw a clown on the subway. I wanted to take a picture but he looked seriously crazy. And I didn’t need to be in a headline.
Picasso. I used to think he was a egotistic, masogynistic, overly-revered d*ck. After many art history classes, and lots of trips to museums, I now think he was an egotistic, masogynistic, properly-revered d*ck. I’d love to have been able to spend 20-minutes or so on a subway with him, probably ending in an argument. I can see a variety of brands of crazy any day.
Crazy lady. Crazy always wins. Always.
Twitter: MommysMartini
June 27, 2011 at 2:26 pm
Picasso has aged extremely gracefully. He’s only lost a bit of hair and not gained a single wrinkle since about 1954. AND YOU HAVE PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF. How could that possibly not be the better story?
Crazy subway lady for sure!
Twitter: sellabitmum
June 27, 2011 at 3:14 pm
I hope you continued to turn the pages with even more aggression.
I vote for Picasso, because if he is riding the subway he must be a zombie and a true zombie sighting is a rare and amazing thing! And to have actually taken a pic of the zombie and survived makes the photographer even more awesome. This is probably the best zombie/subway story anyone ever lived to tell!
The crazy subway lady. It makes me understand why New Yorkers are known to tell people to fuck off.
Twitter: penbleth
June 27, 2011 at 4:26 pm
It has to be Picasso, mad women are everywhere, I’m one of them, although I have yet to complain about random strangers turning pages, at least to their face.
Twitter: suebob
June 27, 2011 at 4:29 pm
This is a tie.
I thought you’d written “this is a lie” and I became instantly outraged. Like, how could this be a lie? I posted the picture of him. But then I thought that maybe you meant that the story about the newspaper-turning-pages-eyes-story was a lie, which I thought was a really good point and planned to confront Husbandrinka over the whole issue alter tonight.
That’s when I noticed that you’d written “tie”. You know, you should be more careful when leaving comments. Try not to use words that look like other words.
Twitter: gdrpempress
June 27, 2011 at 5:18 pm
OK, you are always funny.
But sometimes? You are so very dang funny.
I love it.
And I say the dude totally did this on purpose.
HE KNOWS.
Twitter: gdrpempress
June 27, 2011 at 5:20 pm
Also, you know how long the line is now, in wait for you, with same sex marriage being legal in your state, right?
Twitter: PhoenixRising73
June 27, 2011 at 6:05 pm
Picasso. But only because of the photographic evidence of the ORIGINAL FRANCE Picasso. Because in that photo, it looks like he has HUGE PAWS (which are actually strategically placed buns). How can you argue with giant Picasso Paws?
Picasso with Olive Garden Breadstick fingers. Of course.
Twitter: librrra
June 27, 2011 at 9:21 pm
Picasso all the way. You saw him and his latest work for MTA hanging above. It’s a picture of a blonde – did you pose for him?
Crazy lady. Wait! Unless pablo showed you his noodle. Then pablo for sure.
Twitter: byklynstacy
June 27, 2011 at 10:38 pm
I’m so completely rattled by the sudden knowledge of freakish Picasso hands that I think the archival picture—which I have seen 1,000 times without ever seeing the horrifying bread claws—is what wins. So neither you nor your husband can claim victory. Although wait—since you saw Picasso and that led to the freakish discovery of Pastry Paws, I guess you slide into a win on a technicality. I’m off to have fresh-baked nightmares…………..
Twitter: Mamabirddiaries
June 27, 2011 at 11:42 pm
Obviously Picasso.
Picasso sighting. It’s always a thrill to see dead people in public.
I’m going with the crazy lady. I saw Picasso the other day in San Francisco, that guy gets around.
Twitter: NorthWestMommy
June 28, 2011 at 3:39 am
Yours, of course, beats Husbadrinka’s story.
Picasso, hands down!
do you know if crazy subway lady was being crazy? or is husbandrinka really a distracting newspaper page turner?
My vote goes to Picasso, although having seen croissant hands I may never comfortably close my eyes again.
Twitter: TheSuniverse
June 28, 2011 at 2:54 pm
Picasso.
Because obnoxious crazy is an every day thing. A dead artist alive on the subway? That’s amazing.
Although I definitely need to give you props for taking the photo – I love it. I have to go with crazy lady. But the upside is that you get to ask him to stop turning his pages so fast for the rest of your life.
Definitely crazy lady
Crazy lady, sorry Marinka. By the way, did Picasso notice you taking a photo of him?
Twitter: BeyondNormalMom
July 2, 2011 at 1:15 am
Picasso – crazies are a dime a dozen
I don’t know, but I plan to send this to my, uh, gentleman friend so we can argue over it, too.