Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Church Talent Show
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Christmas Card Photo
Monday, November 26, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
Black Friday
My new camera is $30 cheaper today and my memory stick $23 cheaper. I got a price adjustment at Circuit City for $53. That rocks! I love bargains!
Monday, November 19, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Now I need to break down and just order my new digital camera. It's driving me nuts not being able to take pictures!
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
The Compulsory Burn
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Santa Claus on November 10?
Friday, November 09, 2007
I'm Mourning
Today I also mourned my failure to remember to renew my library books last Saturday. I had a stack that I returned last Friday, and I was going to renew the rest online on Saturday. But somehow I forgot and now I had 17 library books that were 6 days overdue which will cost me $10.20! Gosh darn it! I cried. I took them back and tried to get the fee waived. However, the lady wouldn't budge so I gave her the books and left. I didn't pay the fee because you don't have to until you check books out again. So Emily's card will sit with a $10.20 fee while we use our other 4 library cards until we get rich or move to another county.
Then .... I came home and opened a bill from the attorney we used to write a letter to the builder of our house for a repair. It was double what I was expecting because he nickeled and dimed us to answer my simple questions. I had no idea that every email would cost me $17.50. Attorneys make too much. Frustrating!
And then ... I opened the water bill to realize our family uses a ridiculous amount of water. I think Emily and Bradley's showers every single morning has put us over our allotted 9200REUs/ months which means we get charged double for everything over 9200. This month we used 13,200. Those kids need to take military style showers!
I think that's all my financial woes for the week. Hopefully next week will be more prosperous.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Happy Halloween!
I had this gift bag in my closet for the past 7 years from our wedding. I know I was never going to buy anyone a present that big so I decided to put it to good use.
1 paper ream box + wrapping paper + 4 large candles + tissue paper + paper + puffy paint = birthday cake costume
1 paper grocery bag + two sheets colored paper + tape + staples + curling ribbon = noise maker costume
7 pounds of candy later I consider the trick or treating to be a success. It is totally worth it to have lots of cute kids!
We gave the kids a half hour to eat as much candy and junk as they wanted. Sarah enjoyed her cupcake from the grocery store as well as a Kit Kat, Tootsie Pop, Nestle Crunch, Hershey Bar, Reese's Cup, and M&Ms. Emily and Bradley are a little more aware of their sugar thresholds, so they opted to experiment with the new toys.
Here's some proof:
The kids got great compliments on their costumes. It pleased me that my effort was appreciated. It's a lot of work being a parent on Halloween! David told the kids that they could pick their own costumes next year. Aw, come on! That's no fun!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Then Sarah said, "What about me, Bradley?"
He exclaimed, "You look pretty too, Sarah. I didn't know you had the same dress!" She beamed, cocked her head and did a little twirl.
I didn't know 4 year old boys could appreciate beauty and fashion.
Monday, October 29, 2007
I'm Allergic to Marriage
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Happy Celebrate Day!
1.You can't work on solo projects, which means "Daddy can't work on the computer."
2.You have to have fun.
3. You must eat french fries and ice cream or some other yummy cold dessert.
So to celebrate today Daddy played outside with Bradley and Sarah while I went grocery shopping with Emily. Then the whole family played outside with the little kids riding their bikes. Emily can now ride a bike with no training wheels. Then we ended the day with dinner at Wendy's which included, of course, french fries and vanilla frosties. Finally, to top it all off in the car on the way home the radio played the song "Holiday":
Took some time to celebrate
Just one day out of life
It would be, it would be so nice
That Madonna really knows what she is talking about because today was a really nice day for all of us!
Friday, October 26, 2007
How many kid's toothpastes does a family need? Tonight I opened the bathroom drawer and had to dig my way through the bubble fruit flavored toothpastes to get to my adult minty Crest. Doras were coming out of the drawer like clowns from a car. Hay caramba!
I love myself!
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Bah Halloweenbug!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Princess Poultry
She replied, "No."
A bit relieved, but still confused, I asked, "Is he eating Snow White?"
She answered, "Yes. Snow White is a chicken."
Monday, October 22, 2007
Computer Calisthenics
Sunday, October 21, 2007
I am left brained. My husband is right. That's weird. What are you?
OpTiCaL ILLuSiON (WhAT SiDE OF THe Brain YOU USE)? -
Saturday, October 20, 2007
A Fair Trade
But...just to make it fair I will tell of the time when I was in the first grade. The year was 1982. Our class was square dancing in the gym. The Hawaiian Punch I drank for lunch passed through quicker than normal and my bladder was full. It was ingrained in me by my mother that public restrooms were horrible nasty places and to avoid them at all costs. As the words of my mother echoed through my head, I concentrated on holding it as I learned to dosado and promenade around my white-haired, awkward partner, Darrell. But a 6 year old bladder is only so mature and, like a water balloon filled beyond the point of being able to tie a knot, it started to leak. If you are a girl you can understand that once it starts, there's no stopping it. It started as a warm trickle down the leg that slowly bled through my red Annie polyester pants and finally culminated into a fresh yellow puddle on the white linoleum tile. I stood frozen and embarrassed as one by one the word passed around the square dance circle that I peed. There was no getting out of the situation and I continued to stand there until the teacher told me to go to the office. I couldn't tell if she was mad, annoyed, or disgusted, but whatever her emotion, I felt punished. I was escorted to the school nurse who pulled out a box of donated clothes for incidents such as these. I loved those Annie pants and now I had to wear Holly Hobby bell bottoms. Apparently no kid had peed their pants at the school in the past decade. But I had no choice and walked out of the nurse's office carrying a paper grocery bag containing my wet clothes and wearing my loner Holly Hobby pants that totally did not match my Annie and Sandy shirt. Thankfully I had friends and they kindly greeted me when I went back to class and gathered around my desk to curiously inquire about my new pants. The humiliation haunts me to this day, thanks to my husband who loves to remind me that I was "the kid who peed her pants" in the first grade.
So I say we're pretty even. Wouldn't you say, Bradley?
(But at least I didn't poop.)
Friday, October 19, 2007
Pain Pain Go Away
So apparently six pregnancies can take a toll on a body. My body has decided to flood itself with the relaxin hormone in preparation for delivery. Hello! Slow down! We have three and half more months! As a result my pelvis is like Jello, causing my ligaments to relax and making my muscles do all the work. Now my muscles are like, "Give us a break here! Sit you rear end on the couch and watch some TV."
"Yes, sirs."
You would think my body would already be stretched, torn and worn and ready for another baby without any hormones. Why the overabundance now? Anyway, it has justified our subscription to digital cable. Because having digital cable gives me many more selections of educational shows to watch while sitting on the couch with my children. The past two weeks we have been learning about the Amazon rainforest and I found a show about about the Zoe tribe that lives in the Amazon jungle on National Geographic. I sat down with my kids today to watch it and it was an hour of tribal nudity, monkey eating and trying to figure out why a culture thinks a wooden cylinder the size of a travel toothbrush holder sticking through the bottom lip is beautiful. Bradley was extremely embarrassed by the nudity that he chose to sit backwards and just listen to the show. I have probably just scarred him for life. However, it was very interesting and my kids expressed their gratitude for having a house, unpierced lips, and clothes.
Then after the show, Emily and Bradley were invited to play at a friend's house. I am the mother's visiting teacher. She picked them up and I was about to remind Bradley to remember to use the bathroom if he needed to. But I didn't think he needed reminding. Bradley is very independent, and will be five in two weeks so I spared him the embarrassment in front of his friends. However, when my husband picked them up, the mother explained that Bradley didn't know where the bathroom was and consequently pooped in his pants. Always trust your mother's instinct! I'll have to ask for a new visiting teaching route.
So my pelvic pain is improving. I've been a really lousy blogger for the past two weeks. Kid's just don't say the dardest things when you're miserable.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Are you done?
"Better you than me!"
(Yes, probably.)
"Hope your husband has a good job!"
(Uh, define "good".)
"You'll have enough for a baseball team!"
(How many players are on a baseball team?)
"What kind of car do you have?"
(A 12 passenger van. We're working to fill it up.)
"They'll grow up before you know it!"
(Yeah, yeah, we know.)
"They'll be such good friends because they are so close in age."
(Yes, they are already best friends.)
"How many bedrooms do you have?"
(3)
"Watch out when they're teenagers."
(Let us get through the next decade first. We'll worry about that when we get there. Just because your teenagers are rotten, doesn't mean ours will be.)
"Are you joking?"
(No.)
"Do you have twins?" - this is usually in reference to Sarah and Wendy.
(No. They're 17 months apart.)
and of course...
"You do know how this happens, don't you?"
(No. Please explain.)
Friday, October 12, 2007
The Herd
Then we went to Walmart. We strolled about the store browsing the redundant stock that is at every Walmart, old or new. We spent some time in the toy aisles. There was a married couple there with their approximately two year old daughter. The wife was about 8 months pregnant and her mother was accompanying them. As we headed out of the department I heard the mother say to her pregnant daughter, "Seriously, Bridge, there were five of them!"
Seriously, is it really that strange to have five kids?
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Don't Argue with Me
I said, "Target doesn't." and shoved the paper a little closer.
She signed it. She's only been pregnant twice.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
A Reminiscent Thought
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Girlz Rule!
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
The Comcast Cable Curriculum
Monday, October 01, 2007
Happy October!
You know? I think it is my Cabbage Patch Kid Preemie's birthday today. Happy birthday Walter Simon! Gosh! He's 22 years old.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Happy Fall Equinox
So how do you mark the official, "He's walking." in the baby book? Do you document with a first step? How many steps can be considered walking? Historically, I have typically documented my kid's walking when walking becomes the primary mode of transportation. So I think I will mark today as Jason's first day of "walking" since he spent a good deal of his day walking unassisted. Not like it matters, though, because Jason doesn't even have a baby book. I better buy one in the next 4 months before this next baby comes. My second batch of kids will probably end up of filling in their own baby books when they get older. That would be a good homeschool project. "Find your milestones on Mommy's blog, and fill in the blanks in your baby book." So you hear that, Jason? Today marks the day as you officially walking. Can you write September 23, 2007?
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
Friday, August 31, 2007
So I'm not quite sure if her first class was "Introduction to Getting Investors" or "How to Scam." Either way, she has a great desire to obtain wealth. We'll be sure to channel it in the right direction.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
Last night Bradley actually slept in his own bed. He usually sleeps with his sisters. This morning he said at breakfast, "Maybe I want to sleep with the girls tonight."
Daddy encouragingly said, "Ahh, Bradley, why don't you want to sleep in your bed?"
Then Bradley said, "Maybe I will the next night. It's a pattern."
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Thank goodness for Oxiclean!
Friday, August 24, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
Tech Support in Training
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Sunday, August 05, 2007
An important lesson learned at church
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Baby #6 has a heartbeat and appears to resemble a baby. The days of husband attending ultrasound appointment and ooing and ahhing over the alien-like fetus are over. I have to go it alone with 5 young 'uns at home for husband to watch. The technician handed me the flimsy "first picture of baby" and I carefully placed it in my People magazine as if I was going right home to paste it in the scrapbook that I have been preparing for the precious new arrival. I have finally gotten real with my child documentation and faced the truth that there will be no more baby books beyond child 4. This is it kids. My blog is your baby book and you will even have to accept the stock image ultrasound photo that I found online because I am too lazy to walk out to the the car to get my magazine. (like you could even tell the difference.) I still love you like crazy!
Friday, July 13, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Monday, June 18, 2007
Friday, June 15, 2007
How is that for looking on the bright side of our situation where the poophead attorneys that David works for decided to eliminate his position because the "internet is useless" and cut his salary by 30% effective 30 days and place him in "a different position" where he will probably end up doing the same stuff as he did before?
Anyhow, it is forcing us to follow through with our already scheduled plan of downgrading to a new kid-friendly home where our kids can beat up the veneer cupboards, puke on the base grade carpet, and nick and scuff the baseboards while we work towards wealth (passive income = living expenses.) Thanks attorneys! We appreciate the opportunity.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Pregnant Hypochondriac
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Bradley replied, "He's under the table eating food off the floor."
Friday, May 18, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Friday, May 11, 2007
I'll have the Chow Mein, hold the trendy, please.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Deja Vu
January 30, 2006
May 8, 2007
Monday, May 07, 2007
Poor Amber! She doesn't get her chance at the next failed Bachelor relationship. She took a risk to put her heart on the line to get it broken. And now back to Sugarland, TX to be welcomed by her parents and a big fat, "I told you so!"
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Priorities
There is something about bloody kids and my white cable knit sweaters because Jason was born while I was wearing my brand new Gap maternity white cable knit sweater. When the ER nurse asked if I wanted to hold my brand new baby boy. I told her "no" because I didn't want to wreck my new sweater. I said, "Cut the cord, clean him up and bring him back wrapped in a blanket." She understood.
Later that evening when Wendy fell off her high chair and thumped her face on the tile floor. I immediately swooped her up and allowed her to lay her head on my shoulder. This time I had already changed into an Old Navy clearanced Valentine's Day T-shirt before eating my spaghetti dinner.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Thursday, May 03, 2007
The Drama
Piano, guitar, and singing come to a sudden halt. Emily runs into the family room and buries her head in the couch and pretends to cry. Her friend comes to console her.
FRIEND: It's ok. It's going to snow really hard tomorrow and the power is going to go out for 100 years."
EMILY: No, 1000 years ... or ... 1269 years."
FRIEND: Yeah, 1260 years. So we can't have band practice tomorrow.
It's morning. They run through the house screaming, "Snow everywhere! It's so cold! Get blankets!"
Bradley (standing strong in the middle of the room ): I never get cold.
More screaming and running.
EMILY: I'm going to get frozen!
FRIEND: Come on, we've got to get away from this lava!
EMILY: Pretend I am stuck in the woods. Bradley, stand there and pretend you're a tree and I am going to grab onto you.
Emily loses grip of the tree and as a result more screaming.
EMILY: A walking tree!
More running and screaming and pitter patter of footsteps upstairs.
A few moments later they all come into the kitchen.
EMILY: Mommy, can we watch a movie?
The drama is over.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Have you ever slept with a 2 liter bottle?
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
I replied, "Shaving my pubes."
"What are pubes?"
Concentrating on my task I briefly answered, "Pubic hairs or hair on your crotch."
Bored with the conversation, Bradley walked away. Then Emily walked in and said, "Mommy, what are you doing?"
"Shaving my pubes."
"Why?"
"Well, it's much prettier when the hair is shaved. When you get older you will have hair too and you will understand. However, Europeans don't seem to mind."
A little confused Emily asked, "My o-pee-ins? What's that?"
Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Pickled Placenta
Pickled Placenta anyone?
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Friday, April 20, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
My side of the phone converstion 25 years into the future:
....I'm sorry, Jason. It's just....it's just that I was so busy!
....I don't know, like 5 minutes.
....well, yeah, but I couldn't find a cute baby book for you. I just didn't think Winnie the Pooh fit your personality.
....babies do too have personality! You had personality since the moment you popped out.
....Yes, there was online shopping back then.
....I can send you $25 and the links to your growth stats. Just check my archives.
....but your wife has nice handwriting.
....she told you what?
....well, your sister is wrong!
....the reason you don't have any professional baby pictures is not because you weren't cute!
....she's just jealous because we didn't have 6 megapixels when she was a baby.
....Sweetie, will you please forgive me?
....I love you too. Bye.
Then the guilt will overcome me and I will order a baby book online, fill it out and give it to him for Christmas that year along with a $500 gift certicate and club membership to JC Penney Portrait Studio.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Past Post Redemption
No, thanks. Pray a little harder, Mom!
Monday, April 16, 2007
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Saturday, April 14, 2007
A Mother's Word of Wisdom
Friday, April 13, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
A Young Mind
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Monday, April 09, 2007
Evolution of Prayer
"Dear Heavenly Father, I thank Thee for my many blessings: for my home, my health, my family and everything else in between. I beg Thee to please bless me with a good day. Bless my children with obedience. Bless me with patience not to hurt them. Help me to fold laundry without cursing. Help me to cook dinner with a smile. Help me to remember to give my husband a kiss when he gets home from work. Bless my husband to remember to give me a back rub tonight. Help me to understand the complexity of marriage. I pray I might remember to go to bed early tonight and not stay up late blogging (although I will stay up until midnight to watch Jay Leno's Headlines. Is midnight too late?) Please bless the baby to sleep through the night because I need some good rest before we have another one. Bless me with kindness because I think I need a little more. I pray that the chocolate ice cream stain will come out of my daughter's brand new $40 dress when she spills on it. Help my son to remember to put underpants on lest we get in a car accident. I pray that my children might quietly watch educational TV shows the entire day and not mess up the playroom that I diligently cleaned last night. I pray I might fill out my taxes correctly because Thou knows I will never be able to find my supporting documentation in three years. Bless the M&Ms and Peeps I ate for lunch to nourish my body the same as a roast beef sandwich on 100% whole wheat bread, 10 baby carrots and a glass of skim milk. I pray that frozen chicken nuggets might be the perfect food because my children eat them everyday. Please bless the compound interest we are depending on for retirement. And last but not least, bless me to know what I should cook for dinner tonight. I know that Thou has power to do all these things, but if for some reason it is not Thy will, please bless me with the optimism of my children. I thank Thee very much. Amen."
My children's prayer:
"Dear Heavenly Father, I thank thee for the wonderful day that we are going to have. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."
Friday, April 06, 2007
Who knew lawn care was like dating?
The next day the second company came and pretty much did the same type of estimate. However, he did not come to my door. He analyzed and left it in a plastic bag on my door handle. His estimate included 6 treatments at approximately $38 each and $56 for core aeration.
Both companies called me back to try to win me over. The first company was more diligent and Brad called everyday until he got an answer. The second company called nearly a week later to see if I was interested. Being the cheap person I am, I went for the second company because their prices were less and I thought that lawn service is lawn service. Well, just minutes after I hung up on my acceptance call, Brad called and my heart sank. I felt like I was breaking up with Brad to date Weed Man. But he was kind to me and said, "I'm sorry to hear that price is your determining factor. Please remember we are the nation's number one lawn care service. When things don't work out with them, be sure to give us a call and we will take good care of you."
Ouch! Gulp.
Well, today my blind date arrived. He knocked on my door and wasn't as nice looking as Brad. Perhaps he may have been exposed to his lawn chemicals a bit too long. Then he asked me what it was that I wanted. I told him I wanted what he quoted the other day which according to his sheet was a first annual weed control. I peeked at him out my blinds and all he did was lazily push a fertilizer cart across my lawn and drove off leaving me a bill on my door handle for $38 for Spring fertilization. Umm....I could've done that. Where's my weed control, Weed Man?
I called and expressed my frustrastion and he's not getting a second date nor my money. Oh Brad, will you please take me back?
Lesson: Don't go on blind dates! There's a reason they don't want you to see them first.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Helmet Safety
I was proud that he understood the importance of bike saftey and I replied, "Umm....so you can be safe?"
"No, to keep the bugs off my head."
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Sixteen Seconds in the Life of the Cole Family
Monday, April 02, 2007
Pooping: a New Form of Entertainment
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Always Take Off the Training Wheels After a Professional Photo Shoot
Emily learned to ride her bike today without her training wheels! It's too bad I didn't get a better video of David running, flailing, and grunting along side her. It would've been a good blog video. This one will have to do.
I've been very camera lazy lately because I also missed another great blog photo of two razorback hogs wandering on the side of the highway today. I don't know if they were wild or if some lady was walking them. Nonetheless, it was a strange sight to see.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Take Kids to the Circus. Check!
That's $8 worth of popcorn that I'm holding. They had cool motorcycle stunts, acrobats, trapeze artists, and a flying cannon girl. Bradley's favorite act was the dancing poodles because "they were funny." (At least he didn't say "the clowns.")
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Monday, March 26, 2007
I Think I'm Sick. I Know I'm Sick. I'm Going to Die a Slow Horrible Death!
Friday, March 23, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
What Are Potatoes Made Out of?
They didn't know, so I answered, "Potatoes."
Then with enthusiasm, Emily said, "Mmmmmm. I love potatoes! I love them because they are juicy and made out of ketchup!"
"Huh? Do you mean you love tomatoes?"
"Oh, yeah."
Monday, March 19, 2007
It's All About Perspective
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Quote of the Day:
Saturday, March 17, 2007
I folded 3 loads of laundry this evening and after completion I realized I did not fold a single pair of Bradley's underwear. I guess he went commando all week. That's weird. Well........not that weird if you know Bradley.