Recently I heard that President Obama will not be delivering the State of the Union Address on February 2nd, so as not to interfere with the premiere of Lost. Â Finally, a President who understands this country.
I don’t know what Kennedy was smoking with the whole “ask not what your country can do for you” nonsense, Obama knows what’s important to us Americans. Or we Americans. Â English is hard. Television.
But, see, I don’t watch Lost. Oh, I watched for a few seasons, but the whole polar bear, puffs of smoke, Dominic Monaghan and Evangeline Lilly engaged in real life, just didn’t make any sense.  I gave up.  But good for Lost fans, really. The President  tiptoeing around their show has got to feel pretty damn good.  (Note to terrorists:  don’t fuck with us.  Because we’re tough and all, and right after Lost airs we’re going to get you!  Well, maybe a few hours after that, we have to check out what Television Without Pity has to say about it.)
So here is a list of shows that I would like you, person in charge of scheduling the State of the Union Address, to keep in mind. Because these shows are my life. Â Thank you.
1. Snapped. Unfortunately, I missed the first few seasons of this show, so I have to catch up on re-runs. And the re-runs are always on.
2. The Conveyor Belt of Love. Â This is not yet a regularly scheduled show, but fingers crossed! Â (You don’t have any pull at NBC, do you?)
3. Â Super Nanny. Yes, your secret file on me is correct, my kids are older and I no longer require Nanny Jo’s guidance. Â But I’m sure you’ve heard of Schadenfreude, right? I mean, you’ve seen Karl Rove.
4. Gossip Girl. Â Ask Malia.
5. Big Love. Â If you could manage to schedule the speech only for the minutes that Bill Paxton is on the screen, two birds, one stone!
7. Desperate Housewives. Â This is when I fold my laundry. The State of My Family is counting on you.
8. Â General Hospital. Â Shut up.
That’s it!  As you can see, I am  a very reasonable television watcher and a patriot.  I appreciate any reassurance and assistance that you can offer.
Yours in Not Interrupting Regularly Scheduled Programming,
Marinka
One year ago ...
- As I Lay Dying - 2014
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
This is genius… might I request an addition of the Jersey Shore and Intervention?
Hey, I am with you on this!!! General Hospital—NOW???
New to following you…I love this post!
Oh, Lost. I am looking forward to it’s premiere muchly.
Whenever any news breaks, it always seems to happen right during All My Children and it pisses me off. So, see, I have no room to judge. But if they could leave the noon hour alone, too, that would be great.
What is Snapped? It is a trashy reality show that I am now going to have to watch religiously? I’m off to google it.
I hadn’t heard this. It’s good to know the president has his priorities straight. I totally would have blown his speech off for LOST.
Because I have my priorities straight too.
I hope he is going to include a post Lost wrap-up so we as a country can discuss the show. And of course no speeches during the Office and 30 Rock!
Twitter: BigPieceofCake
January 10, 2010 at 3:24 pm
Mismatched hotness of its stars aside, I’ve always stayed loyal to Lost. Crisis averted!
I feel the same about the Macy’s day Parade. Can’t we schedule around Young and the Restless? Doesn’t fashion avenue know that all the great paternity outbreaks happen during November sweeps?!
I wonder how popular a show needs to be for the president to postpone the State of the Union? Would Big Love have done it? The Office? House Hunters? MTV Cribs re-runs at 2 a.m.?
Twitter: Sweet_Life
January 10, 2010 at 5:14 pm
This is why TiVo was invented, right? But I guess the pres. has to consider those backward eejits who haven’t yet welcomed the 21st century. Just kidding. Sorta.
Twitter: wendiaarons
January 10, 2010 at 5:57 pm
We are going to have so much fun at Gitmo.
Love watching Supernanny. Makes me feel (a little) better about my life.
Twitter: Mamabirddiaries
January 10, 2010 at 10:54 pm
I remember Obama saying something important about “Lost” during the election. Finally, he’s keeping his promises.
General Hospital – pppbbssstttt. Days of Our Lives, that’s the important one to note. I do appreciate a leader of the free world who understands the importance of not disrupting a good evening line up.
Twitter: Carolynonline
January 11, 2010 at 9:39 am
Sheesh… I’m a little bit horrified at how stupid we Americans can be. I bet Europe is laughing at us right now.
Twitter: amy2boys
January 11, 2010 at 3:30 pm
I don’t watch tv. (Unless you count being occasionally forced to watch Spongebob and Wonder Pets, which I do not. Count I mean.)
A side effect of this no-tv thing however is I never know what anyone on Twitter is talking about on weeknights between 6-11.
If he dares to speak when The Biggest Loser is supposed to be on, I promise you I will not vote for him next time.
Twitter: SweetPeaSurry
January 14, 2010 at 3:00 am
I had to post a comment on this one! I love lost … I love it even more when my President is doing work rather than mugging for the camera. (IMHO I think he should have his own channel, and we should have the ‘choice’ to watch him or not. Personally, I’d rather just read the speech myself. I digress)
Snapped is also a favorite … I watch it for hours on the weekends while I’m doing housework! Some of those peeps are seriously NUTSO!
I just found your blog and you made me LOL with my morning bagel at work. That’s a big feat. I think Obama is onto something here, as a Lost fan, I certainly would have picked Lost over the Address. I mean, IT’S THE LAST SEASON PEOPLE!!
Genral Hospital all the way. Is there anything more infuriating when it’s interrupted with a game or parade?!