From the monthly archives:

January 2010

Take Your Eyes in Your Teeth

January 20, 2010

I don’t know what the suicide rate is in Russia, but if it’s not 200%, I demand a recount. Because Russians are mean. Like, let’s say that you lost something and are looking for something. Instead of being American-helpful and asking you where you saw the item last, Russians will say, “take your eyes in […]

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UniBall

January 19, 2010

Mama was playing a Russian word game with the kids this weekend. It was some kind of a Satanic combination of cards with pictures of animals on them that each kid had to group according to some mysterious specifications. I think that the suggested age for the game was in utero. And when my son […]

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What Color Is Her Parachute

January 17, 2010

I am worried about our cat Nicki. We’ve been taking her to my parents’ dacha regularly, every long weekend, and since last year, she has caught exactly one mouse. And that one time was when we were away, so I suspect that she just ordered a mouse corpse on eBay and staged it for our […]

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If You See Me in an Elevator

January 15, 2010

I am totally fine riding up, or down, for that matter, in silence.  When one of us enters, we can nod and smile and sometimes say “hi”.  There is absolutely no need for small talk. If we don’t exchange pleasantries beyond the how’s everything-fine thanks, it absolutely does not mean that either one of us […]

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IRL Friends

January 13, 2010

I  got an email the other day from my NYC BFF Robin: Hey, how do I get out of going to a destination wedding without seeming cheap or unfriendly?  I can’t deal. Don’t use this on your blog. I assumed that she didn’t want me to use this on my blog because she wanted to […]

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Define This

January 12, 2010

Since it’s becoming clear to all of us that I am just a few weeks away from putting a “HELP ME PAY FOR A TUTOR”  Paypal button on my sidebar, I may as well keep talking about my children’s education. Last night, Young Ladrinka got to work on his English homework.  He had to read […]

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Better

January 11, 2010

I have many posts brewing in my mind. The one about my new cabbage soup diet.  The one about the Folgers commercial where the dad hints that his daughter’s fiancee asked him for permission to marry her.  The one about how Husbandrinka has this new and super annoying habit of prefacing his answers to my […]

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Dear Person in Charge of Scheduling the State of the Union Address

January 10, 2010

Recently I heard that President Obama will not be delivering the State of the Union Address on February 2nd, so as not to interfere with the premiere of Lost.  Finally, a President who understands this country. I don’t know what Kennedy was smoking with the whole “ask not what your country can do for you” […]

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