Posts Tagged ‘NRA’
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2021
Headline: “Supreme Court appears skeptical of New York’s restrictive gun-control law”
New York gun control’s likely to slip,
Cuz the highest Fed Court lacks a grip
On our big city needs
To forestall deadly deeds.
I just hope it won’t shoot from the hip!
Tags: Firearms, Gun Bans, Gun Control, Gun Laws, Gun Limericks, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Law And Order, New York Limerick, NRA, Supreme Court, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Crime, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Law Satire, New York Politics, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, White House | Comments Off on An Out-Of-Control U.S. Supreme Court? (Limerick)
Sunday, March 28th, 2021
GOPers treat gun regs with scorn.
(Hammer sales could be next, they forewarn.)
Tighten background checks? “Whoa!”
Ban assault weapons? “No!”
Yet their “thoughts and pray’rs flow,” as we mourn.
Tags: Assault Weapons, Assault Weapons Ban, Crocodile Tears, Gun Control, Guns, Mass Shooting, NRA, Obstructionism, Republican Hypocrisy, Republican Senators, Weapons Humor
Posted in GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, NRA Limerick, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Republicans Still Gung-Ho About Guns (Limerick)
Monday, December 10th, 2018
Headline: “Accused Russian spy Maria Butina appears poised to plead guilty”
Donald Trump should be tied up in knots,
Cuz Maria Butina knows lots,
And it looks like she’ll squeal;
She has just made a deal.
Oy gevalt! Trump may actually plotz.
Tags: Collusion, Donald Trump, Maria Butina, NRA, Robert Mueller, Russia, Russian Collusion, Trump Collusion
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Russia, Vladimir Putin, White House | Comments Off on The Beauty Of A Butina Deal (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 29th, 2018
Headline: “GOP Lawmaker Blames Porn for School Shootings”
What’s to blame for school shootings? It’s “porn.”
So says Tennessee’s Black, with much scorn
For the Dems who’d curb guns.
Lame excuse? Rs have tons;
GOP — where insanity’s born.
Tags: Congressional Republicans, Diane Black, GOP Humor, GOP Idiocy, Gun Violence, NRA, Pornography, RNC Humor, School Safety, School Shootings, School Violence, Tennessee
Posted in GOP Humor, NRA Limerick, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, RNC Humor | Comments Off on The Worst Excuse Yet For Gun Violence (Limerick)
Sunday, May 20th, 2018
Headline: “Texas shooting renews debate about American school design”
The gun-loving NRA faction
Creatively thwarts gun-law action.
Students down on all fours
Dodging death? It blames doors:
Prevent murder by entrance contraction.
Tags: Gun Bans, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Lobby, NRA, School Safety
Posted in Education Limerick, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, NRA Limerick, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Guns Don’t Kill People; Doors Kill People (Limerick)
Monday, April 30th, 2018
USA Today headline: “NRA draws fire from backers, foes for gun ban at event with Vice President Pence”
“Lots of guns make you safer in schools.”
That’s the NRA’s stance — greedy tools!
So they’d arm ev’ry teach,
But when Pence gives a speech
At their meeting — NO GUNS!!! — them’s the rules.
Tags: Gun Bans, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Lobby, Mike Pence, NRA, School Safety
Posted in Education Limerick, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Mike Pence, NRA Limerick, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Gun Ban Hypocrisy (Limerick)
Tuesday, February 27th, 2018
The Donald’s a cowardly fella,
Who has bravery fantasies stella.
He’d save kids, he’ll maintain,
Though (I guess) not from rain:
Watch him hogging his big-ass umbrella.
Tags: Bravery, Crime Humor, Donald Trump, Education Humor, Florida, Florida Massacre, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, NRA, Parkland Florida, School Safety, Schools, Teachers, Trump Bragging, Umbrella
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Trump’s Bravery Claims Are All Wet (Limerick)
Monday, February 26th, 2018
This CNN headline cries out for a limerick: “Trump on Florida shooting: ‘I really believe I’d run in there, even if I didn’t have a weapon'”
Dear Donald: How lovely to know
That you’d bravely and willingly go
T’wards a gunman to save
High school students! You knave,
How’re those bone spurs of yours? What a schmo!
Tags: Bravery, Crime Humor, Donald Trump, Education Humor, Florida, Florida Massacre, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, NRA, Parkland Florida, Police Humor, School Safety, Schools, Teachers, Trump Bragging
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, Education Limerick, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Our Brave Oval Knave (Limerick)
Thursday, February 22nd, 2018
Dear NRA lovers and tools:
“Armed teachers protecting our schools?”
This insults the police
Who FULL-TIME keep the peace.
Sniper skills ain’t a hobby, you fools!
Tags: Cop Limerick, Cops, Crime Humor, Education Humor, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, NRA, Police Humor, School Safety, Schools, Teachers
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, Education Limerick, GOP Humor, NRA Limerick, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Open Limerick To NRA TOOLS
Sunday, November 5th, 2017
Dear NRA shills, ev’ry prayer
And each thought that you send’s just hot air.
Let us know when you’ll draw
Up a gun control law.
Until then, stop pretending you care.
Tags: Assault Weapons, Baptist Church, Church Shooting, Crocodile Tears, Gun Control, Hopes And Prayers, Las Vegas, Mass Shooting, NRA, Republican Hypocrisy, San Antonio, Sutherland Springs, Texas, Texas Church Massacre
Posted in Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, NRA Limerick, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Open Limerick To NRA Shills
Monday, October 2nd, 2017
Enough with your “thoughts” and your “prayers,”
Dear GOP pols — no one cares!
All that just-pretend keening
Lacks value and meaning
When the keeners sell NRA wares.
Tags: Assault Weapons, Crocodile Tears, Gun Control, Las Vegas, Mass Shooting, NRA, Republican Hypocrisy
Posted in Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, NRA Limerick, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 1 Comment »
Thursday, December 3rd, 2015
Any pol, whether woman or man
Who says shootings are part of God’s plan
Is just shifting the blame,
And for that I say, “Shame!”
“Control gun sales! Your stance doesn’t scan.”
Tags: Assault Weapons, Gun Control, Mass Shooting, Massacres, NRA, Religion In Politics
Posted in Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Yet Another Mass Shooting Limerick
Friday, October 3rd, 2014
I’m looking forward to leadership from our Surgeon General, especially now that the Ebola outbreak has reached our nation.
Oh wait … we don’t have one. Why not? Because Vivek Murthy, Obama’s excellent nominee, has the audacity to view guns as a health issue.
What To Do About Ebola? Don’t Ask Our Surgeon General (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though an expert on health would be nice
At this time of Ebola, no dice!
NRA’s GOP
Blocked a great nominee,
And our nation is paying the price.
Tags: Ebola, Epidemics Limerick, Health Limerick, NRA, Obama Verse, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy
Posted in Barack Obama, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, NRA Limerick, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on What To Do About Ebola? Don’t Ask Our Surgeon General (Limerick)
Tuesday, June 17th, 2014
A Not-So-Modest Proposal (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Want to thin out the NRA crowd?
Here’s a concept that’s got me quite wowed:
Pair a gun range and bar,
Cuz those folks won’t get far
When gun-toting drunks are allowed.
(Alas, Combination gun ranges/bars do in fact exist.)
Tags: Alcohol, Assault Weapons, Bars, Firearms, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Gun Range, NRA, Second Amendment
Posted in Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »
Thursday, March 20th, 2014
Obama’s highly qualified Surgeon General nominee, Vivek Murthy, is in limbo. Why? Because Murthy supports an assault weapons ban and believes guns are a health care issue.
Our Unhealthy Nomination Process (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The move against Murthy ain’t stealth
Cuz gun fans are using their wealth.
Seems his Surgeon Gen. quest
Failed the NRA test:
He thinks guns can be bad for your health.
Tags: Assault Weapons, Firearms, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Health Humor, Law Satire, Legal Verse, NRA, Obama, Second Amendment, Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy
Posted in Barack Obama, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Our Unhealthy Nomination Process (Limerick)
Monday, July 8th, 2013
The Kansas legislature, in its great wisdom, recently passed a law allowing gun owners to carry weapons in public buildings. And surprise, surprise, insurance companies think this is dangerous.
The EMC Insurance Cos. insures 85 percent to 90 percent of all Kansas school districts and has refused to renew coverage for schools that permit teachers and custodians to carry concealed firearms on their campuses under the new law, which took effect July 1. It’s not a political decision, but a financial one based on the riskier climate it estimates would be created, the insurer said.
Kansas Gun Law Backfires (Multi-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
In municipal spots, like a school,
Concealed weapons in Kansas are cool.
But the pols that decreed this
May soon have to heed this:
They’ve entered a sky-high risk pool.
“You are too great a risk,” said the co
That insured Kansas schools. What a blow!
“We do NOT mean to screw you,
But just can’t renew you.
It’s financial — a matter of dough.”
Forrest Knox, who’s an NRA shill
And the fellow who sponsored the bill
That started this mess,
Says insurers should bless
Teachers toting their weapons at will.
“This will make us all safer,” he swears.
“What do carriers know about scares,
And dangers and risk
And hazards. Tsk-Tsk!
I know better than they!” he declares.
What’s next? It remains to be seen.
At the least, it will take far more green
To insure any school
Where an NRA tool
Hides a gun in her purse or his jean.
Tags: Custodians, Education Humor, EMC Insurance, Forrest Knox, Gun Humor, Insurance Coverage, Insurance Humor, Kansas, Legislation Humor, NRA, Risk Pool, School Safety, Schools, Teachers, Weapon Humor
Posted in Education Limerick, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Insurance Humor, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Republicans Humor | 5 Comments »
Monday, April 1st, 2013
If you’re a Colorado spouse abuser, take heart: Republicans have vowed to protect your right to bear arms against Dem meanies, who mean to take it away.
Clueless In Colorado (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Good news for domestic abusers,
Bad news for their victim-accusers:
Colorado is where
The Republicans swear
To guard gun rights for battering bruisers.
Tags: Assault Weapons, Battering Spouses, Colorado, Domestic Abuse, Family Values, Firearms, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, National Rifle Association, NRA, Second Amendment, U.S. Constitution
Posted in Constitution Humor, Family Values Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, February 20th, 2013
I won’t be visiting Jay Laze’s pizza place any time soon:
A Virginia Beach pizza shop owner is showing his support for firearm rights by giving gun owners a 15 percent discount.
The discount is given to anyone who brings a gun or concealed handgun permit to All Around Pizzas and Deli.
The Right To Bear Arms … And Eat Cheap Pizza (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
This news from Virginia’s alarming,
Although some may consider it charming:
Bring your gun to Jay’s shop.
Watch your pizza price drop.
I do NOT find this fellow disarming.
Tags: All Around Pizzas And Deli, Assault Weapons, Firearms, Food Humor, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, Jay Laze, National Rifle Association, NRA, Pizza Discount, Second Amendment, U.S. Constitution, Virginia, Virginia Beach
Posted in Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Virginia Humor | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, January 15th, 2013
After yesterday’s Weapon Wonderland Song Parody, I thought I was done with gun posts for a while. But I guess not:
The NRA Plays Games (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Violent video games are to blame,”
Claims the NRA, much to its shame.
Then it issues its own,
Meant for kids barely grown.
Yes, hypocrisy’s NRA’s name.
UPDATE: There’s some speculation that the National Rifle Association may not be behind this app. However, thus far, the NRA hasn’t disowned it.
Tags: Assault Weapons, Gun Control, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, Hypocrisy, National Rifle Association, NRA, NRA App, Practice Range Game, Second Amendment, Song Parodies, U.S. Constitution, Violent Video Games
Posted in Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 2 Comments »
Monday, January 14th, 2013
You can hear me attempt to sing my Weapon Wonderland song parody a cappella here. But since I have a lousy voice, it might be safest to just read my parody lyrics:
Weapon Wonderland Song Parody (to be sung to Winter Wonderland)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gun sales surge. Are you listenin’?
Ammunition keeps glistenin’.
They’re arming tonight and causing a fright.
U.S. Constitution arms the land.
People die for no reason.
Children shot! ‘Tis the season.
A terrible blight, each night after night.
Gun rights absolutists harm our land.
NRA and cronies claim our homeland
Must allow their arms in every town,
Claiming guns will help us.
We say “No man!
“The murder stats have got to go way down.”
Weapon fans have conspired.
Now our nation is mired.
With lives we have paid.
New laws must be made.
Or soon we’ll have a gun in every hand.
(Linked at DVerse Poets)
Tags: Assault Weapons, Gun Control, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, National Rifle Association, NRA, Second Amendment, Song Parodies, U.S. Constitution
Posted in Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 17 Comments »
