Archive for June, 2010
Wednesday, June 30th, 2010
Way back in 1999, President Bill Clinton nominated a brilliant lawyer for a seat on the federal appeals court based in the District of Columbia.
Alas, that lawyer never got to the D.C. bench. Indeed, the brilliant nominee never even got to testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee.
You see, the lawyer suffered from a fatal flaw — she’d been named by a Democratic President, and her appointment would shift the balance of a very important court. So Republican Senator Orrin Hatch, as chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, blocked her nomination, refusing to schedule a hearing.
Disappointed but undaunted, the brilliant lawyer pursued other legal opportunities over the years and achieved great success.
More than a decade after this ill-fated nomination, the federal bench beckoned once again. But this time it was a nomination to the highest court of the land.
Getting a hearing wasn’t a problem this time. A hearing where Senator Hatch and his fellow Republicans would look askance at the brilliant lawyer, complaining she lacked the very judicial experience they had denied her.
Who was that brilliant lawyer? Elena Kagan.
And now you know… the rest of the story.
Related Posts: Robin Ghivan Makes Me Cross, Why I’ll Never Be A Supreme Court Justice, Leery About Elena, and Obama’s What???
Tags: Bill Clinton, Elena Kagan, Judiciary Satire, Legal Humor, Orrin Hatch, Paul Harvey Parody, Supreme Court
Posted in Elena Kagan, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Orrin Hatch, Political Limericks, Senate Satire, Supreme Court | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, June 30th, 2010
Those Sorry Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Just what’s the Republican mission?
To oppose each Obama position.
He gets tough on BP—
Gets an escrow, then see
Their response to the BP contrition:
Reps Joe Barton and Bachman and Price
By default claimed Obama ain’t nice.
He’s been mean to BP.
It a shakedown, you see.
Cuz unthinking objection’s their vice.
But fighting this fund makes no sense.
To do so’s an error immense.
The people approve.
It’s a positive move,
And opposing it makes them look dense.
Even Boehner and co seem to know
That defending BP’s a no-go.
Strikes a terrible tone,
So they rushed to disown
The pro-BP speech made by Joe.
But a hundred-plus others expressed
The same viewpoint in print. Not addressed!
It seems Boehner and co
Are pretending as though
The have solved their BP PR test.
It is clear where Republicans stand.
They are naught but a pro-corp’rate brand.
They put citizens last
And are only aghast
When a Dem gives the people a hand.
Related Posts: Kick-Ass Limerick, Haley’s Barbaric Attitude and Oily Obstruction.
Tags: Barack Obama, BP, Gulf Of Mexico, Joe Barton, John Boehner, Michele Bachmann, Oil Disasters, Republicans Humor, Shakedown, Tom Price
Posted in Barack Obama, GOP Humor, John Boehner, Michele Bachmann, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Wingnuts | 3 Comments »
Thursday, June 10th, 2010
The language police are at it again. Republicans and Fox News (sorry to be redundant) are simply horrified at President Obama’s “unpresidential” language.
What are they so pretend-upset about? Obama used the word ass in response to Matt Lauer’s oil crisis question about kicking butt.
Apparently this is extremely shocking to the same folks who had no problem with f**ks from Bush, Cheney, and McCain.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Kick-Ass Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Republicans’ delicate ears
Are offended by ass, it appears.
F**k is fine from McCain,
Bush, and Cheney — that’s plain.
But ass from Barack begets jeers.
Tags: Barack Obama, Dick Cheney Satire, Fox News Satire, John McCain, Language Police, Language Satire, Matt Lauer, Republican Hypocrisy
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Dick Cheney Satire, Election Satire, Etiquette Humor, Fox News Humor, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, John McCain, Language Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 5 Comments »
Thursday, June 10th, 2010
Harry Reid sure caught a lucky break Tuesday: Nevada’s looniest would-be Senator won the Republican nomination. Yes, Senator Reid’s opponent will be the wingnutty Sharron Angle, a woman with views so odd, she almost manages to make Rand Paul look semi-normal.
Nevada’s Wingnut Angle (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Harry’s hopes for November looked bleak,
With Republican odds at their peak.
But he’ll easily wrangle
The wacky Ms. Angle.
Thank you, wingnuts, for picking a freak.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Harry Reid, Nevada, Rand Paul, Senate Satire, Sharron Angle, Wingnuts
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Harry Reid, Media Satire, Nevada Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, White House, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, June 8th, 2010
While Govs. Bobby Jindal (R-La.), Charlie Crist (I-Fla.), and Bob Riley (R-Ala.) seem to take the Gulf oil spill crisis very seriously, Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour (R) has been downplaying the disaster, talking as if it’s a fictitious crisis created by the media.
For instance, according to Barbour, “tar balls are no big deal.”
The biggest negative impact for us has been the news coverage. …
Our tourist season has been hurt by the misperception of what is going on down here. The Mississippi Gulf Coast is beautiful. As I tell people, the coast is clear. Come on down!
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Haley’s Barbaric Attitude
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Don’t worry, be happy, says Haley,
In spite of the news we get daily.
Just ignore the press squeal.
The spill’s no big deal.
Must be nice to view crises so gaily.
Related Post: Oily Obstruction
Tags: Bob Riley, Bobby Jindal, BP, Charlie Crist, Environment, Gulf Of Mexico, Haley Barbour, Media Humor, Mississippi, Oil Disasters, Tourism
Posted in Energy Humor, Environment Satire, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 4 Comments »
Monday, June 7th, 2010
It turns out that Mark Kirk’s problems with the truth go well beyond exaggerating his military resume. As the Chicago Sun-Times reports, the Illinois Republican nominee for U.S. Senate has a habit of telling international tall tales about Iranian oil imports, France’s handling of pirates, and the China-drilling-for-oil-off-the-Cuban-coast fable.
Are these deliberate lies? Or is Mark Kirk woefully ill-informed? I’m not sure, but neither explanation would speak well of a would-be senator who’s ostensibly an expert in foreign affairs.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Kirk’s “Factual” Quirks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mark Kirk is astoundingly lax
When he spouts international “facts.”
Be it China or France
Or Iranian rants,
He’s deceptive and wrong to the max.
Tags: Campaign Satire, China, Cuba, Election Humor, France, Illinois, Iran, Mark Kirk, Pirates, Tall Tales
Posted in Campaign Humor, China Humor, Election Satire, Foreign Policy, Mark Kirk, National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 8 Comments »
Thursday, June 3rd, 2010
Okay, so we have two Senatorial candidates who’ve pumped up their military records — Republican Mark Kirk of Illinois and Democrat Richard Blumenthal of Connecticut. We also have the horrified Republican Senator Orrin Hatch, who’s hatched the upright-sounding Stolen Valor Act. Just one problem: According to Hatch, it would criminalize Blumenthal’s behavior but (surprise, surprise) not Kirk’s.
Hatching Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When a pol says he fought for our land
And exaggerates, bolst’ring his brand,
That’s a crime, says Sen Hatch.
But of course there’s a catch:
Only Dems need obey this command.
Update: One of my few Republican Facebook friends, Rob Hood, posted a limerick response in Facebook asserting that I engage in anti-GOP gloating. Here’s my limerick rejoinder:
I’m a Dem, but I’m surely not gloating.
There’s no reason for happy emoting.
Though the GOP’s worse
Than the Dems, here’s our curse:
Most pols do not merit our voting.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Mark Kirk, Military Record, Orrin Hatch, Republican Hypocrisy, Republicans Humor, Richard Blumenthal, Senate Humor, Stolen Valor Act
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Legislation Humor, Mark Kirk, Military Humor, Orrin Hatch, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Senate Satire | 3 Comments »
Haley’s Barbaric Attitude
Tuesday, June 8th, 2010While Govs. Bobby Jindal (R-La.), Charlie Crist (I-Fla.), and Bob Riley (R-Ala.) seem to take the Gulf oil spill crisis very seriously, Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour (R) has been downplaying the disaster, talking as if it’s a fictitious crisis created by the media.
For instance, according to Barbour, “tar balls are no big deal.”
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Haley’s Barbaric Attitude
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Don’t worry, be happy, says Haley,
In spite of the news we get daily.
Just ignore the press squeal.
The spill’s no big deal.
Must be nice to view crises so gaily.
Related Post: Oily Obstruction
Tags: Bob Riley, Bobby Jindal, BP, Charlie Crist, Environment, Gulf Of Mexico, Haley Barbour, Media Humor, Mississippi, Oil Disasters, Tourism
Posted in Energy Humor, Environment Satire, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 4 Comments »