21 (and a half) Ways to Write Funny: Guest Post by Debut Author Vicky Lorencen and The Big Book of Barf: A Spewnami of Sick Science, Hurled History and Body Oddities Giveaway

Happy Monday Everyone! Today I’m excited to have debut author Vicky Lorencen here to share a guest post on writing humor to celebrate the upcoming release of her MG The Big Book of Barf: A Spewnami of Sick Science, Hurled History and Body Oddities. I’ve known Vicky for a long time because we’re both member of SCBWI in Michigan. I’m thrilled she’s a debut author and am looking forward to reading her book.

Here's a blurb from Amazon:

Did you know that there are glasses to prevent motion sickness…Or that astronauts can get “space sick”…This hilarious and wacky illustrated book is jam-packed with silly facts, crazy activities, and even recipes (Barf-day cake, anyone?) that will have you learning all about the fascinating world of barf, our bodies, and beyond.

Yes, barf is gross. But...it also kind of tells us a lot about how our bodies work? Whether it’s that saliva protects your teeth from vomit or that your stomach can hold 4 quarts of food and liquid…Vomit is the revolting, disgusting, slimy, gooey but also hurl-arious fabric that holds us together!

The Big Book of Barf is perfect the curious science-loving kids who love to digest (and then regurgitate) cool and crazy facts. This colorful and engaging book is filled with myths and history about vomit, humorous health hacks to keep your food down, facts about your digestive system, activities for home, jokes, and more! All this gastronomic gargle-gravy goodness will entertain and inform young readers whether at home, in school, or especially [cough, gag, heave] in the bathroom.

Now here’s Vicky!

I know everything there is to know about humor writing.

I do.

Let me qualify that—I know everything “I” know about funny writing. There. That’s more accurate. And to be even more precise (preciser?), I know just under two dozen things you might like to know about adding humor to your writing for children. 

Disclaimer #1:  Writing rules, like the English language, are tufted with exceptions. Humorous writing is particularly subjective. If one of these tips fails to speak to you, remember, tips can’t talk.

1.    Humor is a heart-grabber. Humor can give you a portal to your reader’s heart. When your reader throws back her head in laughter, that’s your opportunity to reach in and snatch that reader’s heart.
2.    Humor can reveal your character’s character. Your character’s sense of what’s funny informs the reader about a character’s values/personality/point of view.
3.    Humor serves to make serious scenes serious-er. Drama is more dramatic, and stress is more intense, when it’s contrasted with timely, brief bursts of levity.
4.    Please yourself and your reader first. If your story makes adults laugh too, that’s a bonus. Resist the temptation to include a funny aside or quip solely for the grown-up reader’s benefit. Show some R-E-S-P-E-C-T for the young reader. Yes, Auntie Aretha said so.
5.    Humor lets your reader come up for air. That means, the timing of your lighter moments is critical. Otherwise, you can let all the air out of the balloon (that is to say, the rising tension will dissipate).
6.    Don’t be afraid to use poop. The strategic use of taboo words like poop, booger, fart, snot, barf, belch or any of the other bodily-function-centric funny words is a sure-fire way to tickle your reader. (Trust me on this one!)
7.    (Caveat to #7) Over-doing doo doo is a no no. Remember even poop can lose its pizzazzle and be drained of its power with overuse. Just a sprinkling of poo will do.
8.    Sometimes, as in real life, your funniest character can be the one experiencing the most pain. The character’s sense of humor reveals and contrasts with their internal conflict with their people-facing side.
9.    Sarcasm is the wasabi of humor – use sparingly. Sarcastic quips get old and typically distances people. It’s like Windex mixed with burnt toast and apprehension. So, if you create a character who wants to push people away, sarcasm is the way to go. But be sure to dig deep to understand your character’s snark attacks. Why does he use sarcasm? What’s his back story?
10.    Humor needs to fortify the overall plot (and not just hang out in the wings until it’s time to walk on stage). Otherwise, it’s just a series of Dad jokes—unless you want the Dad to tell jokes in the story “just because.”
11.    Humorous books meet a basic need. Kids need opportunities to laugh, to giggle, to be delighted and to escape. Your humor can forge an intimate bond with your reader because your stories will be source of happiness. There’s nothing like making yourself laugh, except for making your reader laugh. Isn’t that marvelous?
12.    Give a character a funny name—but not all. Example – my current middle grade novel has a teacher named Mrs. Belcher. Poor lady. (Hee hee)
13.    Respect your inclinations. If humor happens to be your superpower, let it infuse your work in an natural way. Other than professional comedians, nobody leaves the house with a list of gags. You’re not writing “material,” you’re making a story. To be really funny, you need to keep it real.
14.    Pace yourself. If your novel is a gut buster in the first chapter, you’ve set an expectation. If chapter two goes super serious, it feels like a bait and switch to your reader. Make sure you can keep the promise you made with chapter one. If you can’t or don’t want to keep the comic pace, take the opportunity to create an emotional equilibrium when you revise. Go from FUNNY to funny.
15.    Be genuine. Just because humor adds levity to a story, it doesn’t mean you can’t include heavy issues or situations that would be meaningful to your readers.
16.    Go organic. Allow humor to bubble up and feel true to the personalities of your characters and the world you’ve created for them. For me, that means writing to amuse myself in those early drafts. I don’t worry if a kid will get it or will laugh. I can keep the gems and edit out the excess later.
17.    Harvest funny details from your family like unique expressions, odd names for things, unusual habits or hobbies. These goodies give your story a taste all its own.
18.    Play with words and make up new names for products, body parts or games. Related to this, make Urban Dictionary your new best friend. Confirm your clever name for a brand of deodorant isn’t an unintended double entendre. Trust me on this one.
19.    Switch up the situation. Put your character in an unfamiliar situation. A “first” experience is prime territory for tickling the funny bone.
20.    Funny characters still need to be people of substance. If you have a 3-D straight man, you can’t have a flat funny man. Personality quirks are fun, but they must contribute to the story in some way.
21.    Don’t overlook the “serious” character as a source of humor. Being earnest, having zero sense of humor and taking things literally, can be amusing in its own way.
And 1/2 Recycle your own embarrassing moments, especially if it will aid your emotional health.

***

Laughter is carbonated holiness. ~ Ann Lamott

Life is worth living as long as there’s a laugh in it. ~ Lucy Maud Montgomery

***
Here’s Vicky’s humorous giveaway disclaimer. The actual giveaway details are below.

 

BOOK GIVEAWAY – United States – I can add an autographed barf bag too!

Random House Children’s Books will release Vicky’s first book for children will release on January 28, 2025. THE BIG BOOK OF BARF A Spewnami of Sick Science, Hurled History and Body Oddities is available for preorder.

“This info-gusher, plainly a labor of love, will draw readers like flies….A sure crowd pleaser.“ —Kirkus Reviews

Disclaimer #2: No purchase necessary (or even an option). Shipping & handling included. Safe when used as directed. Do not submerge. Batteries not included. Dryclean only. This prize is being gifted “as is.” None of the authors, contributors, agents, editors, miscreants, vandals, ambidextrous nose miners, or anyone else connected with reality, in any way whatsoever, can be held responsible for your (mis)use of the contents of the giveaway. Remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Do not refrigerate after opening. Contents may settle during shipment. The giveaway is sold by weight, not by volume. We do not provide any warranty of the item(s) whatsoever, whether expressed, implied, or statutory (whatever that is), including, but not limited to, any warranty of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose or any warranty that the contents of the item will be error-free (because). Use at your own risk. Subject to approval. Driver does not carry cash. No substitutions. Do not fold, staple or mutilate. Some restrictions apply (but you can’t make me say what). Void where prohibited. Employees must wash hands. For off-road use only. All terms and conditions shall be rendered null and void on a whim. If state laws apply to you, some or all the above disclaimers, exclusions, or limitations may not apply to you, and you may have additional rights. (Go You!) I know you are but what am I. This tag may not be removed except by the consumer under penalty of law. (Ooo, scary!) See store for details.
***
Vicky Lorencen has been in healthcare communications for more than 15 years, writing about everything from allergies to Zika virus. Her previous writing-related roles include college writing instructor, freelance journalist, and associate editor for Kids in Common, a family resource magazine. Vicky’s work for young readers has appeared in Highlights for Children, Ladybug and Girls’ Life. Vicky and her husband live in Michigan with their feline proprietor Finn.

Find Vicky via her website/blog “Frog on a Dime” at VickyLorencen.com, on Facebook at Vicky.Lorencen, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/vickylorencen/ or Blue Sky @vlorencen.bsky.social.

Giveaway Details

Vicky is generously offering a pre-order of The Big Book of Barf: A Spewnami of Sick Science, Hurled History and Body Oddities, which releases on 1/28/2025, for a giveaway. To enter, all you need to do is be a follower of my blog (via the follower gadget, email, or bloglovin’ on the right sidebar) and leave a comment by December 28th. If your email is not on your Google Profile, you must leave it in the comments to enter the contest. Please be sure I have your email address.

If you mention this contest on Twitter, Facebook, or your blog and/or follow me on Twitter or follow Vicky on her social media sites, mention this in the comments and I'll give you an extra entry for each. You must be 13 years old or older to enter. This book giveaway is U.S.

Marvelous Middle Grade Monday is hosted by Greg Pattridge. You can find the participating blogs on his blog.

Upcoming Interviews, Guest Posts, and Blog Hops

Today, I’m also participating in the Dashing December Giveaway Hop. When it goes live, you can find the link to the post at the top of the blog

Wednesday, January 1st I will do a book of your choice or Amazon Gift Card giveaway

Wednesday, January 8th I have an interview with author Mackenzie Reed and a giveaway of her YA The Wilde Trials and my IWSG post

Monday, January 13th I have an agent spotlight interview with Estelle Laure and a query critique giveaway

Wednesday, January 15th I have an agent spotlight interview with Jon Cobb and a query critique giveaway
Thursday, January 16th I will do a book of your choice or Amazon Gift Card giveaway

Monday, January 27th I have an interview with debut author Nicole Hewitt and a giveaway of her MG The Song of Orphan’s Garden

Happy Holidays! I hope to see you later today!

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My Guest Post at Anne Allen's Blog Is Today: Tips on Finding the Right Agent and My Secret Way to Find Agents You Don't Know About

I Have a Guest Post Today

Happy Sunday Everyone! Today,  I'm sharing a guest post on Anne R. Allen's Blog . . . With Ruth Harris on Finding the Right Agent and My Secret Way to Find Agents You Don't Know About. Here's the link:

https://annerallen.com/2024/07/tips-on-finding-the-right-agent/ 

I hope you'll stop by and say hi! 

Upcoming Interviews, Guest Posts, and Blog Hops

Tomorrow I have an agent spotlight interview with Rebecca Williamson and a query critique giveaway

Tuesday, July 16th I’m participating in the Sip Sip Hooray Giveaway Hop 

Monday, July 22nd I have an interview with author Sally Pla and a giveaway of her MG contemporary Invisible Isabel 

Monday, July 29th I have an agent spotlight interview with Sheila Fernley and a full picture book or three-chapter MG or YA critique and a one-hour Zoom call giveaway 

Thursday, August 1st I’m participating in the Apple a Day Giveaway Hop 

Wednesday, August 7th I have an interview with co-authors Cynthia Hand, Brodi Ashton, and Jodi Meadows and a giveaway of their YA My Salty Mary 

Monday, August 12th I have an agent spotlight interview with Erica McGrath and a query critique giveaway 

Friday, August 16th I’m participating in the Old School Giveaway Hop 

Monday, August 19th I have an interview with author Julie Abe and a giveaway of her MG Tessa Miyata Is So Unlucky  

I hope to see you at Anne Allen's blog!

How to Nail Your Query Letter by Rose Atkinson-Carter

Happy Wednesday Everyone! Today I’m excited to have Rose Atkinson-Carter, a writer with Reedsy, here to share her fantastic tips for nailing your query letter. I found her advice and examples very helpful. I hope you will too.

Now here’s Rose!

Query letters are sent to literary agents to assess their potential interest in representing your writing for publication. These agents receive hundreds of queries, but they only select a few authors for representation each year. That’s why mastering the art of crafting a compelling query letter is crucial for aspiring authors.

But don’t worry, you won’t be penning another epic. Although each literary agency has its own requirements, most query letters aren’t expected to be longer than 400 words. With that said, here are 5 necessary steps to nail your query letter and entice any literary agent.

Start with a strong “hook”

In the same way that most successful books start with a strong hook, your query letter needs to compel literary agents to keep reading! In addition to a greeting or salutation to your letter’s recipient, the beginning of your query letter should include a short description that gives agents an overview of your book’s concept.

Before expanding into a successful movie franchise, Michael Crichton’s novel Jurassic Park was an instant bestseller with a powerful and intriguing hook: 

An astonishing technique for recovering and cloning dinosaur DNA has been discovered. Now humankind’s most thrilling fantasies have come true. Creatures extinct for eons roam Jurassic Park with their awesome presence and profound mystery, and all the world can visit them—for a price. 

Until something goes wrong. . . . 

From this example, the literary agent immediately sees the unique premise of a park filled with dinosaurs and a deadly challenge to overcome. Your hook doesn't necessarily need to show danger or action, but it must be engaging. 

Some practical advice is to look at the short descriptions for movies on streaming platforms used to “hook” potential viewers as inspiration. This is arguably the most important element of your query letter, so make sure you do justice to your writing. 

Include a synopsis 

You’ve now hopefully “hooked” the agent, so it's time to pique their interest with a book synopsis. Think of this as an opportunity to reveal the important elements of:

●      The plot

●      The primary characters

●      The conflicts and questions that drive your story 

You can find some inspiration by reading the blurbs of successful books in your genre to see how their authors introduce their writing effectively. 

Make comparisons to other titles 

Once you’ve written an engaging synopsis, you can make comparisons to similar titles and authors. This not only shows that you have an awareness of the market, but it could also make the agent think, “I like those books, maybe I’ll like this one, too.” Here are two ideas to start with:

●      “For fans of”: this helps to show the potential of an existing audience.

●      “X meets Y”: this shows how your book combines elements of other titles. 

Keep in mind that there are some comparisons worth avoiding in your letter:

●      Outdated books. Market trends change so keep your comparisons current. Using Dickens as a comparison might be a little difficult!

●      Chart-topping books. Your work may well become successful, but making comparisons to a franchise as huge as Harry Potter might not come across too well.

●      Unknown books. If the comparisons are too niche, the agent might just get confused. 

Don’t forget to talk about yourself 

Following an overview of your book, you should write a short author bio to show all your writing-related accomplishments. This will give the agent a better idea of your publishing experience and potential. It's good practice to only stick to what’s relevant to your writing credentials — there's no need to discuss your dreams or your day job! 

Here are some examples that you might want to include:

●      Have any of your books, short stories, poems, essays, etc. been published before?

●      Have you won any awards or writing contests?

●      Are you a graduate of a creative writing program?

●      Have you attended any writing conferences or workshops? 

If you also have a substantial social media following, this is the ideal place to mention an existing audience that could help make your book successful. 

A simple one-line bio is fine 

Equally, many agents are open to debut authors and will mainly focus on the details about your story in your letter. So if you don’t have any particular writing experience yet, don’t worry! You could simply say something like: “I live in Timbuktu with my wife and two kids. This is my first novel.” 

Close with a “thank you” 

Don’t overcomplicate the ending of your query letter. You’re effectively writing a business email, so the best thing to do is to simply end with a formal salutation: 

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you. 

Sincerely,

Your Name 

No need to try to organize a meeting or go into how excited you are at the idea of potentially working together. Just say your thanks and leave it there!

Double-check each agent’s requirements 

Once you’ve crafted a great letter, you’ll have to do some housekeeping to make sure it follows each agent’s submission guidelines. Otherwise, it could unfortunately be disregarded automatically. 

You should, of course, start with a self-proofread. But if you’d like more feedback, there are many editors and agents out there who offer query letter reviews. 

There are two main ways to send queries these days: online submission forms (e.g., QueryManager) and email. It’s common for authors to prepare their letter in a word processor like Microsoft Word and then copy and paste the text into the online form or the email body, depending on an agent’s requirements. Be sure to carefully check the submission requirements of each agent and tweak as needed — if an agent prefers receiving PDF files over Word documents, do as they say!

—------------- 

If you’ve been struggling to put together a solid query letter that does justice to the quality of your work, then hopefully these tips have been helpful. Good luck and happy writing! 

Rose Atkinson-Carter is a writer with Reedsy, a marketplace that connects authors with the world’s best self-publishing resources and professionals like editors, designers, and ghostwriters. She lives in London. 

Upcoming Interviews, Guest Posts, and Blog Hops

Tomorrow, May 16th I'm participating in the Moms Rock Giveaway Hop

Monday, May 20th I have an agent spotlight interview with Caroline Trussell and a query critique giveaway

Saturday, June 1st I’m participating in the Berry Good Giveaway Hop

Wednesday, June 5th I have an interview with author June Hur and a giveaway of her YA historical A Crane Among Wolves and my IWSG post

Monday, June 10th I have an agent spotlight interview with Jenna Satterthwaite and a query critique giveaway

Sunday, June 16th I’m participating in the Dad-o-mite Giveaway Hop

I hope to see you tomorrow!

Ten Tips for Debut Authors by Agent Rachel Orr and Author Cathy Carr and Lost Kites and Other Treasures Giveaway

Happy Monday Everyone! Today I’m thrilled to have author Cathy Carr and her agent Rachel Orr here to share their tips for debut authors to celebrate the release of Cathy’s new MG contemporary Lost Kites and Other Treasures. It sounds like a fantastic story that really nails the complexities of family dynamics and is a real page-turner. I’m looking forward to reading it.

Here’s a blurb from Goodreads: 

Cathy Carr’s Lost Kites and Other Treasures is a moving and heartfelt middle-grade novel about mental illness, the transformative power of art, and the ever-changing complications and joys of family life.

Twelve-year-old Franny Petroski never lets anyone know how often she thinks of the charismatic, troubled mom who left her years ago—any more than she talks about the unaccountable things Mom did while she was still in the picture. Life with Nana is safe and secure, and Franny’s innovative art projects fill in any lonesome times.

But when Nana has an accident and Franny’s estranged uncle comes home to help out for a while, some long-guarded family secrets come to light. Franny has to use all of her courage, as well as all of her creativity, to come to terms with the discoveries she makes about her mother—and herself.

 

Ten Tips for Debut Authors

First off, who are Cathy Carr and Rachel Orr?

Cathy is the author. She was born in western Nebraska and grew up in Wisconsin. Since high school, she has lived in four different US states, plus overseas, and worked a variety of jobs, from burger flipping to technical writing. Wherever she goes, her observations of the natural world give her inspiration. Her first book, 365 Days to Alaska, was called “a wonderful debut novel about compassion, belonging, and finding your way home” by Lynne Kelly, author of Song for a Whale. 365 Days to Alaska was a Junior Library Guild selection and chosen for Bank Street’s Best Children’s Books of the Year. Carr now lives in the New Jersey suburbs with her family and two scrappy cats.

Rachel is the agent. Prior to joining Prospect Agency in 2007, she worked as an editor at HarperCollins Children's Books. Because of her editorial background, Rachel continues to do a lot of hands-on work with her clients before sending their projects out on submission. As a literary agent, Rachel loves working with clients who come from diverse backgrounds and have fresh perspectives to offer readers.

Cathy’s literary debut, 365 Days to Alaska, left her with some firm ideas about what fledgling writers needed to know about their literary debuts. Rachel also had plenty of ideas to share based on her experience working with debut creators. So, without further ado, let’s get cracking with their 10 Tips for Literary Debuts.

#1: Get ready for all the feels!

Cathy:

You've fulfilled a hard-won dream, a major life goal. Your first book is coming out. It’s on your publisher’s list, you’ve finally seen your name in places like Publishers Marketplace and Publisher’s Weekly. Kind of like getting into Studio 54 back in the 1970s. Or maybe even a backstage pass for a Beyoncé concert. You can barely believe this has happened. But now that it has, be prepared for uncertainty, anxiety, anger, a fair dash of envy (more on that later), and even some ennui. These are all normal feelings to have. You can't control having them--but you can control how to respond to them.

Rachel:

Well, Cathy, I don’t really know much about either Studio 54 or Beyoncé, but I do know that many creators (especially debuts) tend to get the Pub Day Blues. They wake up that morning, expecting the day to be dramatically different from every other day before it, and yet. . . they still have to put on clothes and maybe pack lunches and (God forbid!) go into the office if they have a day job. Just like everyone else who has never even written a book! But it’s important to make it a point to celebrate, too. (More on that later!)

#2: Find communities.

Cathy:

Debut groups, which are full of first-time authors who band together to support each other, can be super helpful to a new author. There are also communities like kidlit411.com and the many different groups SCBWI creates and promotes. Look around and see what’s there. Don’t be afraid to ask your fellow authors if they know of any supportive groups open to new members.

There are also your friends from your writing workshops, your old friends from college, that high-school alumni group you joined on Facebook—all of these communities can be helpful and supportive when your book comes out. Don’t discount your non-writer friends. Many of them will be thrilled that you are publishing a book, and happy to support you.

Writers, this is no time to give in to our inner introverts, the ones that help us stay focused when we’re doing the actual writing. Get out there and get involved. Be kind to other people in the writing community. Not just writers and readers. Librarians, teachers, agents, and editors: they’re part of our world too. Offer suggestions and support. Boost their social media posts. You might be pleasantly surprised at how many of them are willing to do the same for you. And you may also be surprised at how many of your fellow authors will remember a year or two later—to the letter—the people who gave them reviews on Goodreads or Amazon, and the people who forgot or were too busy to get that done.

Rachel:

Yes, exactly! And don’t forget about your agency family, either. At Prospect, we work hard to create and nurture a sense of community among our clients, and I know many other agencies do as well. I believe that you’ve been in touch with several other Prospect writers, Cathy, and that you frequently promote each other’s work on social media. Many other Prospect clients have already started pulling together a promotional group for their 2025 releases that will involve sharing cover reveals, book birthdays, reviews, and good news. That’s really smart (and really thinking ahead, too. I don’t know what I’m making for dinner tomorrow, let alone what I’ll be doing in 2025!).

Cathy:

Mike Ciccotello was the first person who told me we were “agency family,” because we were both at Prospect Agency. I had never heard of that concept, and it was such a relief to know that more experienced writers had my back. When you have that attitude of community in your literary agency, it’s the ultimate cozy feeling.

#3: Be thoughtful about your social media presence.

Cathy:

Most publishers now expect you to have an active social media presence. (Some even require it. You might find it in your contract.) So figure out now which platforms you're most comfortable with, and start establishing a coherent presence on the ones you prefer. Get in the habit of posting frequently. It’s also the moment to get your website ready for prime time. Your website doesn’t need to be anything fancy. It’s more important for it to be coherent, well organized, and up to date. It’s very easy to let a website get “dusty,” as the publicists say. But try not to bite off more than you can chew. It's easy to imagine you can send a monthly newsletter or blog frequently, but my experience is not many people keep that up long term.

Rachel:

I totally concur! As you said, it’s important to pick the platform that works the best for you. But, also, just remember that there is no substitute for writing a good book. That should always remain your top priority.

#4: Get organized.

Cathy:  

Early on, make a list of everything you need to get done and when it needs to be finished. Make sure deadlines for interviews and articles all go on your calendar. Don't be late with your promised responses or ask for extensions. Update your website and order your swag. It may seem overwhelming, but just remember that you eat an elephant bite by bite. Also remember that time and effort you spend on book promotion is time spent on your literary career.

Rachel:

Yes, book promotion is an important investment, and shows that you’re taking yourself seriously as an author. After all, once you’ve written a good book, you want people to know about it. So carve out the time in your schedule to make that happen, and give yourself permission to take those necessary steps to further your career. It’s not wasting time; it’s time well spent.

#5: Guard your time and money. Think about what’s really going to move the needle.

Cathy:

Getting a book advance is exciting. Perhaps, like me, you spent years submitting to literary magazines that paid in copies. Now all of a sudden there’s money from a publishing house deposited in your bank account. Now that it’s there, let’s not be in a rush to spend it all at once. (Sorry for sounding like your parents, or your tax accountant.)

If ordering thematic stuffed animals and book-cover cookies for your swag completes your happiness, go for it. I once made an entire no-sew fleece blanket for a book giveaway, so I get it. But—be realistic about what's really going to move the needle in terms of sales and publicity. It worries me when I see authors ordering expensive swag like key chains or mugs, knowing that most folks will toss them straight into a drawer or the recycling bin. The simple old standards of bookmarks, postcards, and stickers are often the best. This isn’t just my opinion. Many of my librarian friends confirm that these simple items are the kids’ favorites. With that in mind, my personal rule is that all my swag should fit into a standard #10 envelope and mail with a Forever stamp.

There are other things people try that are often rarely worth the time and money. I’ve known some authors who have sent their swag postcards to every independent bookstore in the United States. Again, if this gives you joy and a sense of control, go ahead—but most bookstores rely on trade reviews to decide which books to stock. Your postcards might not make much of a difference, and the time and money they require may be better spent elsewhere. Like working on your next book.

I’d also like to mention professional publicists. You’re going to be hearing from some of them. I got several unsolicited emails. One guy actually got my home phone number and called more than once. I admired his enterprise, although he didn’t get the title of my book right. Some of these publicists will promise amazing things. Let me be clear: publicists can be great. I have one I consult occasionally. She gives me advice on the stuff I should be doing to publicize my book and how to establish an appropriate, professional online presence. I feel as if she’s worth every penny. But if I was going to pay for a publicity package of $10,000 or $15,000 (and, yes, I know of writers who have done this) I would want to know exactly what I was likely to gain in exchange for that money. To be clear, at most of the usual royalty rates you’d need to sell around 5,000 books to make $10,000 back. That’s a lot of books.

Okay, so what does seem to make a difference? School visits! If you can develop a good school visit, and get out there regularly, they can move the needle in terms of sales. And the money you charge for those visits will come in handy too.

Rachel:

You can always feel free to ask your agent for publicity and marketing advice as well.  We can help you to decipher publishing marketing plans and offer wisdom as to how you might best promote your book. While we might not have all the answers, we can always do some asking around to find out. As your agent, we’re invested in helping you to build your career—and we’re always on your side.

#6: Vent away about the book business—but it might be better to vent to family and friends instead of the Internet.

Cathy: 

There's plenty to complain about in the publishing landscape today, from major chains dropping MG hardbacks to a lack of publicity from publishers to professionals who ghost us. However. . . please do consider seriously whether it's wise to complain about your advance, your publisher's publicity department, or your literary agency on social media for everyone to see. Remember that everyone at your agency and publishing house knows how to use the Internet, and they'll see your tossed-off complaints, and may take them really personally.

Rachel:

Exactly, Cathy! And just remember that your agent is a safe person to vent to (unless you’re venting about your agent, of course. Then, vent to your cat). Agents can also help you to discern whether you have a legitimate complaint (and what to do about it, if so) or if your frustration is something that is, unfortunately, commonplace in the publishing industry. (And maybe, in that case, there’s not much you can do about it. But, hey—don’t you feel better now that you’ve vented?)

#7: A thick skin can be useful.

Cathy:

Lately I’m grateful for my years in publishing when I sent out short stories to literary magazines. My record for rejections was 72 for one story. Why am I grateful for those years of repeated failure? Because they gave me the hide of a rhino.

You are going to reach out to a lot of people who decline to review your book on their popular Youtube channel or website. Most of them won't even bother to respond to your email. You are going to get negative reviews, some of which are stupid, and others of which really hurt. (It's hard to know which are worse.) People are going to say petty, unnecessary things to you about your book. I know someone who let me know she didn’t like the cover of Lost Kites and Other Treasures and Franny as a blonde was all wrong. So get ready for stuff like that. It’ll happen.

Rachel:

It’s definitely natural to feel the sting of rejection—but it also shows that you take pride in your work. It’s kind of like being nervous before a recital. If you didn’t get the pre-performance jitters it would mean that you didn’t care—which, of course, is not a good thing. But it’s also important to keep in mind that criticism is subjective (so, so subjective). Some professional reviewers seem to be more in the business of flaunting their own writing skills than giving useful feedback. Try the best you can to dismiss those hurtful jabs. However, if you’re getting the same criticism from several different sources, then you may want to start paying attention to those remarks. It might be good feedback that you could consider implementing in your next work.

#8: Get ready for visits from the green-eyed monster.

Cathy:

I'm talking about envy. It's one of the most common emotions for debut authors to feel, and not the prettiest one. Perhaps, as with so many other things, it's best to just accept its presence and move on.

As an author, you will always know people whose books have more reviews than yours on Goodreads, whose book gets four starred reviews while your book is having trouble scraping up any reviews at all, who get chosen for an interview in Horn Book or Publishers Weekly. This will not seem fair to you. Period. Just please understand that public envy is an ugly look. (I've had friends who dismissed envious social media posts as natural, but I've never seen anyone who really admired one or thought better of someone for posting it.) This is what your friends and family are for.

Rachel:

Yes, the hard truth about publishing (and life in general, really) is that there is always going to be someone who gets more recognition than you. But my advice would be to make your envy work for you, rather than against you. Use it as the fuel to help you focus on your own individual goals and keep your eye on the milestones you can control (finishing that next novel draft!) rather than the things you can’t (winning the Newbery). You’ll never be able to achieve that second goal without finishing that first.   

Cathy:

I love the idea of turning that envy into rocket fuel.

#9: Be yourself. Unleash your inner anchovy pizza.

Cathy:

When Lost Kites and Other Treasures came out, I posted a photograph of myself on social media that I honestly find embarrassing. I have a look of utter joy on my face, I'm holding Lost Kites up over my head, and my coat pockets are bulging in a weird way because my mittens are stuffed in them. I almost didn't post the picture¾but people loved it! So don't be afraid to express your real self¾your love of anchovy pizza, your extensive knowledge of top 40 hits, the picture of you when you were eight in awful eyeglasses with your hair flipped up on one side. Dance like no one's watching.

Rachel:

Have you been watching me dance, Cathy? Darn it! I thought no one had seen my killer Flashdance moves. Seriously though, genuineness is a highly likable trait, and one that kids (who are truly your main audience, lest we forget) especially value. Just think of the popularity of the BeReal app with teens. And they can spot a phony a mile away, which is why it’s all the more important to be yourself. (Speaking of, I’ve got to get back to my split leaps now. Where are my leg warmers?)

#10: Enjoy your debut!

Cathy:

It's so easy to forget this. So add it to your calendar. I'm serious about that. You've achieved a magnificent accomplishment, probably something you worked toward for years. Plan a great day for yourself. Treat yourself to some flowers, some good food, a long walk, or whatever you would enjoy the most. You did it!

Rachel:

You did do it. It’s a hard-won dream—and it’s certainly something to celebrate. You may just have to be intentional about it—just like you did this year when Lost Kites and Other Treasures came out, didn’t you?

CC: I did. We had pizza, wine, and Italian pastry—all on one fabulous weeknight. And I hope everyone with a book coming out this year has a debut day that gives them that much joy.

Thanks for sharing all your advice, Cathy and Rachel. You can find Cathy at:

www.cathycarrwrites.com, Facebook at cathycarrwrites, and Twitter and Instagram @cathycarrwrites 

You can find Rachel at: https://www.prospectagency.com/ and Twitter @rachelprospect

Giveaway Details

Cathy is generously offering a hardback of Lost Kites and Other Treasures for a giveaway. To enter, all you need to do is be a follower of my blog (via the follower gadget, email, or bloglovin’ on the right sidebar) and leave a comment by April 6th. If your email is not on your Google Profile, you must leave it in the comments to enter the contest. Please be sure I have your email address.

If you mention this contest on Twitter, Facebook, or your blog and/or follow me on Twitter or Cathy on her social media sites, mention this in the comments and I'll give you an extra entry for each. You must be 13 years old or older to enter. This book giveaway is international.

Marvelous Middle Grade Monday is hosted by Greg Pattridge. You can find the participating blogs on his blog.

Upcoming Interviews, Guest Posts, and Blog Hops

Friday, April 1st I’m participating in the Honey Bunny Giveaway Hop

Wednesday, April 3rd I have an interview with debut author Trish Lundy and a giveaway of her YA thriller The One That Got Away With Murder and my IWSG post

Monday, April 8th I have an agent spotlight interview with Paula Weiman and a query critique giveaway

Monday, April 15th I have a review and giveaway of Finally Heard by Kelly Yang

Tuesday, April 16th I’m participating in the Rain Drop on Roses Giveaway Hop

Monday, April 22nd I have an agent spotlight interview with Hillary Fazzari and a query critique giveaway

I hope to see you on Friday!

 

 

 

Tips on Surviving the Long Haul—Writing for Life by Author Shutta Crum

Happy Monday Everyone! Today I’m excited to have author Shutta Crum here. She is a talented picture book and middle grade author as well as a poet. I’ve known Shutta for decades. She was also a librarian at my library, and I used to take my daughter to her story time events. She’s also been a member of the Michigan SCBWI for decades and is always willing to help aspiring writers and authors. Her most recent book releases are two picture books, Grandma Heaven and Grandpa Heaven.

Shutta is here today to share tips on surviving the long haul of a writing career.

Here’s a blurb of Grandma Heaven from Goodreads:

Heaven is a place where one can have fun. Or so thinks award-winning author Shutta Crum. When asked about death by one of her grandchildren, she imagined the perfect heaven. A place where grandmothers play hockey, have iguanas as pets, jump rope, find treasures at jumble sales, and keep a loving eye on grandchildren. Grandma Heaven, and its companion book, Grandpa Heaven, provide reassurance to young worriers that heaven is a happy place and that love never dies.

Follower News

Before I get to Shutta's guest post, I have Follower News to share. Sandra Cox recently released Sheriff
Tyree, book 2 in her Keeper Series. Here's a tagline: There's a new sheriff in town. And here's a buy link:https://www.amazon.com/Sheriff-Tyree-Keeper-Book-2-ebook/dp/B0CN3S271W

Now here's Shutta!

Tips on Surviving the Long Haul—Writing for Life

A friend of mine recently sent me a compiled list of writing tip lists. It’s here. (Do check it out, there’re some really good ones.) That got me thinking. I’ve been in this game for a long time—traditionally published for about forty-eight years with over 160 poems in print and 20 books out. And, of course, I’ve been writing for much longer than that. Which means that I, too, have a handy list that might supply the fuel for some of you when things feel like they’re dragging, or you just can’t get your butt back in the chair another day. And since we traditionally reflect upon where we’ve been and where we’re going at the start of each new year, here’s my list of eleven things to do to keep you writing for a lifetime. Why eleven and not ten? Because I’m a fan of that hilarious rock-mockumentary This is Spinal Tap. Besides, why not?

1.     Love—be open to it.

Let your guard down. Live your life to the fullest with all its ups and downs. To write is to create something that will be held up to the light. That creation will come from a place of caring—even if your life is tough. Love is the propellant that will empower your writing—love of reading, love of conversation, love of creating, love of simply being. 

2.     Experience—walk about.

A writer needs an ocean to draw from. Get out and about. Wade in the ocean. Do things. Do not coop yourself up in a stuffy room or dark corner staring at a blank screen or piece of paper. Walk out. Walk widely. Walk with an open heart. Breathe in that salt-filled air. Fill your ocean with wonderful adventures. 

3.     Stand back—and use your senses.

Telling you to stand back may seem like an odd admonition, especially as I’ve just advised loving and living widely. But in order to create you have to take a step back and examine your life and the adventures you’re having in that walk-about, and in those relationships. Stand at a little distance and touch, taste, smell, hear, and look at what/who interests you. Touch an emotion you felt as you walked about. Can you put your hand around it? What is its heft? Does it sing to you when you put it to your ear? 

4.     Scribble—let your inner toddler out.

Jot things down. Record your thoughts. Slap chocolate covered hands against walls. It doesn’t matter how you do it, or how messy you are. Just get it in writing, or get it recorded. Collect your thoughts. I have a friend who wrote occasional lines on scraps of paper and tossed them into a laundry basket. When he wanted to write a poem, he’d pull a handful out and see what came of it. Yes, it can be that disorganized. In fact, I believe it’s preferable to be unorganized! Don’t slow down to critique yourself or be so concerned with orderliness that you can’t fling open the gates and let your imagination run free—while hitching a ride on it. 

5.     Revise—play with the mess.

Are you sensing a theme here? The joy of just living, loving, creating? Revision is a critical component. Sure, some writers grumble about revision, but it can be fun as well. Pull out a few notes that seem to connect to each other and, like a tangram puzzle, move things around. See what kind of shape(s) you can form from a variety of prompts, emotions, ideas, scenarios, characters. Whether you write poems, short stories, novels, non-fiction, plays, gaming scripts, whatever—grab hold of the bits and pieces, play, shake them up and see what begins to clump together. Can you breathe life into it? 

   6.     Plan—start adulting.

You always knew there’d be a time to grow up. Well, at least, to put that toddler down for a nap. Okay—now is the time to ask yourself, what is my intention regarding my writing? Try to get clear about this—knowing that it might change later.  Are you writing for strictly personal reasons and have no desire to share with the world. Fine. Do it. Do you want to share/publish? If so, figure out how you’re going to go about it. Now is the time to get organized and get help. Join a critique group, and a professional organization like SCBWI or other writing groups, like the Poetry Soc. of America, Mystery Writers of America, etc. 

7.  Submit—go for it!

If your plan is to publish, really go for it. That old saying is correct, “You can’t jump a chasm in two leaps.” (Variously attributed to Twain, Churchill, or Chesterton.) Research and get yourself an agent. And/or start submitting to publishers/journals/media outlets yourself. There are many printed and online sites that will provide instructions on how to prepare a submission, who to submit to, and what those publication agencies are looking for. (Duotrope and Submittable are helpful. As are many of the writer’s market guides put out by Writer’s Digest Books.)  Do your homework. Most writer organizations can help with research and recommendations, as well. 

It’s good to get your family on board at this point. They need to understand that this writing business will take some of your time, your energy, your attention, and your money. And it really helps to have a couple of cheerleaders amongst your near and dears. Their hopes and good wishes for you can buoy you up when you need it. 

8.  Scribble & Revise again—play while you wait.

Don’t ignore the fun part of all this. Continue to scribble, take notes, journal, and draft as you wait to hear from agents or publishers. Feed that creative half of your brain with new projects. Artwork of any kind helps to fuel the writing. Love mosaics? Collage? Car restoration? Keep your creativity on a sugar/caffeine high. Now is a good time to learn to juggle. You want to continue to play messily while also being well-organized with your submission record keeping. You can do it! 

9.  Scribble, scribble, scribble . . .

Don’t stop! And keep living large and reading widely to find new ideas and ways of seeing/feeling that you are going to take note of. Sure, there will be down days—days you get yet another rejection. But without the lows how could we feel the joys of the high days? Just steady yourself and remember that you are a creative person. Your words, your art matters. The good you put out into the world can have ramifications beyond your wildest imaginings, and that may start with a single soul who adores what you’ve done. 

10.  Revise, revise, revise . . .

Love revision. Invite it into your boudoir with a copy of the Kama Sutra. Enjoy yourself. 

11.  Love your path.

Love the path you’ve decided upon. You can always change your mind about publishing/or not. And love the people you’ll meet along the way—most will be helpful. Contribute to the zeitgeist of the book world. Support your fellow writers. Here’s an article I wrote about writers supporting writers: Effective Ways to Help Us All Succeed.  Check out the ways you can help. 

And, if you meet those who belittle your efforts or try to discourage you, recognize that there are some unresolved issues in their lives. The fault does not lie in you.  Give them space but continue onward according to your plans for your writing. It’s your gift, don’t let anyone spit on it. 

12.*  Celebrate—as much as possible!

Don’t skimp. Don’t be shy. A neighbor comments on a piece you wrote for a neighborhood flyer—have an extra sip of wine in its honor! If a book, an illustration, a poem, or a story gets accepted be proud. Let folks know. And join the celebrations of your fellow writers. We’re all in this together. Celebration is the butter and cream that’s baked into a rich life. 

*(I know, I only said there’d be eleven. But there’s twelve. What can I say? I turned my sound system up two notches above 10! Take that, Spinal Tap!)

 Resources:

45 Writers Rules for Writing

Duotrope

Submittable

Writer’s Market

Society of Childen’s Book Writers & Illustrators

Shutta’s Links:

www.shutta.com

www.facebook.com/shuttacrum

Twitter: @ Shutta

Instagram: @Shuttacrum

Thanks for all your advice, Shutta!

Upcoming Interviews, Guest Posts, and Blog Hops

Wednesday, January 31st I have an agent spotlight interview with Laura Gruszka and a query critique giveaway

Thursday, February 1st I’m participating in the Heart 2 Heart Giveaway Hop

Wednesday, February 7th I have an interview with debut author Marc Gregson and a giveaway of his YA dystopian Sky’s End

Monday, February 12th I have a guest post by author Sherry Ellis as part of her blog tour and a blog-tour giveaway

Friday, February 16th I’m participating in the Wish Big Giveaway Hop

Monday, February 26th I have an interview with debut author Megan Brennan and a giveaway of her MG graphic novel Kira and the (Maybe) Space Princess

I hope to see you on Wednesday!