Bijdrage van Nate Shalev

I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t my place. Nothing would change. I didn’t know what would happen. These are real reasons people gave in a recent session on allyship and bias intervention for not taking action. We can always find reasons not to act. But the question is: what can we do? Focus on the immediate harm—it’s not about changing hearts and minds in that moment. We will be tempted to argue and prove someone wrong, but this can escalate things. Here are three of my go-to strategies: 1. Address the behavior, not the person – “That comment wasn’t okay.” “Explain that joke to me.” 2. Reinforce community norms – “We want everyone to feel welcome here.” 3. Distract the aggressor or target – “When’s the next meeting?” “Want to grab coffee?” Offer to walk with them. These strategies might not seem small but addressing the immediate harm can have a significant impact. And if we do nothing, at some point, we will decide it's too much. We'll leave. We'll find new jobs. We'll check out for our own well-being. We shape our work and our communities. The actions we take can make a difference. And if you're interested in bringing a workshop like to your teams? DM me. I have a few slots available for this fall. #Allyship #Inclsusion

My wife tucked my chai (necklace with Hebrew word for life) into my shirt as our friends cautioned, "Don't speak Hebrew on the streets here" We were visiting friends in the UK last week, and this was a stark reminder that Jews all around the world are looking over our shoulders, calculating the risks. This vigilance is a daily reality for many Jews, yet you might be reading this and feeling surprised. You might be questioning whether it’s really that bad. You might feel inclined to downplay or justify the situation. But it’s these very inclinations—to minimize, to question, or to rationalize—that stop so many of us from speaking about our experiences. So, this is a reminder that when anyone feels the need to hide their identity, it’s a threat to us all. When bias of any kind is allowed to thrive, it festers and spreads. By silencing conversations about our lived experiences, we lose the opportunity to build more inclusive and more just communities for everyone. I want to live in a world where I don't have to hide any part of myself. I want to live in a world where I can write a celebratory and hopeful message on Shabbat. I believe that this world is possible, and it happens in one conversation, one story at a time. I hope that this can be the one for you. Shabbat Shalom, friends, or in other words, I hope you find the rest and peace you need this weekend to keep fighting for our better tomorrow. p.s. I'm hosting a free inclusion roundtable next month, and considering a focus on Jewish inclusion & antisemitism. Let me know if you're interested, and I'll include the link to join below. #Inclusion #Antisemitism #Jewish

What do they think? Do they think I'm trying to cheat? Cut the line? I was waiting to pre board my flight wearing my sunflower lanyard, an initiative to flag the wearer has a disability that might not be visible and might need extra assistance. Even though I knew how much pre boarding helps me fly, I still have these thoughts about whether or not I should. If you've been following me, this lanyard will be familiar. I consistently post about it because it's such a game charger. Without resources like this, without me understanding how my brain works and what I need to navigate the neurotypical world living in, I would have never been able to attend events at the Democratic National Convention. And I deserve to be here. In the rooms with movers and shakers. The lawmakers and change makers Because there is so much I want to do. So much I want to accomplish. But to do any of that, I have to acknowledge that what I need is different than what others need. I have to be okay with knowing that not everyone will understand and they don't have to. I do. I know what I need. I imagine you do too. How to ask for disability accommodations is one of the questions I get asked the most. Sometimes, people want the specific language to make the ask, but most often, they want the reassurance that it's okay to ask at all. If you have been hesitating to ask for what you need, focus less on what "they" might say or think and more on what you want to do and accomplish. "They" will always have their thoughts but we need more of you in the world. #ActuallyAutistic #Inclusion

I finally worked up the courage to talk to HR. I closed the door, sat across the conference table, stared at the grey scaled wall and said it, Could I ask people to use they/them pronouns for me? How would I even go about that doing that? I had been using they/them pronouns outside of work for awhile and felt like I had been living a split life. I didn't want that anymore. The HR person warned me that not everyone would be accepting and I would need to be okay with that. That this was a political topic and tricky to navigate at work. And, then a final, more dire warning: this could hurt my career. It would be another 3 years after this conversation before I used they/them ponouns at work. As LGBTQ people we are told who we are is political. That who we are is inappropriate to talk about. That other's people bias' are our problems. This doesn't always have to be the narrative. I think back to that conversation with HR and realize how much more prepared I would be to challenge these narratives. With the US election coming up, we are going to have more and more opportunities to have these conversations. And we can make an impact. We can be prepared to have these conversations. We can create spaces where people do not feel like they have to live split lives. At work and everywhere else. Next Thursday, August 22, I'm hosting a free inclusion roundtable for us to discuss exactly this. We'll have an open convo along with chatting about tools and resources. Join here: https://lnkd.in/ejg57Y6j #Inclusion #Transgender

I didn't want a Jewish vice presidential candidate. As a Jew, I feel guilty admitting this. When Kamala Harris chose Tim Walz over Josh Shapiro, my immediate reaction was relief. I want a Jewish VP. Jewish values, learning, and tradition would serve a VP well. And the representation! The first one! But I didn’t want to face the next 89 days of a Jewish vice presidential campaign. During this last year and especially during Shapiro's candidacy, I realized how unprepared we are to talk about antisemitism. When I was in school, the Holocaust was one paragraph in a textbook — I'm sure it's even less now. Most workplaces don't include antisemitism in their policies, and if they do, they address it only as a religion, not a culture or ethnicity. I'm relieved I don’t have to spend the next 89 days convincing people that antisemitism is real, highlighting the inevitable and most likely daily instances it would arise. I feel guilty and I am relieved. But it doesn’t have to be this way. If we focus our efforts, on education, on creating spaces where Jews can feel safer sharing their experiences, then we can make our workplaces and our communities more inclusive for us all. So, the next time there's a Jewish VP candidate, I can feel excited. I can feel hopeful about the possibility of the first Jewish vice president. In the meantime, we have so much work to do. And if you want to start now, on August 22nd I'm hosting a free inclusion roundtable on how politics and the election show up in our workplaces and how we can talk about it. Join here: https://lnkd.in/ejg57Y6j #Inclusion #Jewish

Stop using trans people to further an agenda. We are not your enemy. Care about women's sports? Amazing. Trans people do too. Care about your kid's education? Great! So do trans people. Have strong opinions about the direction the country is going? Stand by it! But trans people are not the reason it's going whichever way you think it is. There is a long and sordid history that positions trans people as the enemy. As monsters. As deceitful people trying to trick and trap you. There have been many horrifying comments about Imane Khelif but what has been heartbreakingly illuminating for me is that many know she is not transgender, and they don't care. They just want to use that narrative for their own purposes. This is not a "right" or a "left" problem This is an everyone and everywhere problem. Trans people are not your enemy. We are also not here to be used as pawns in your agenda. We are just people. Trying to live our lives. Trying to drink enough water and figure out what's for dinner. We are too focused on achieving our own hopes and dreams to have time to ruin yours. And for good measure, here's a pic of me, a trans person, with my wife on a recent vacation where our only agenda was to have a nice time and maybe not bring back too much sand in our suitcases.

Imane Khelif is not transgender. On this platform, I've seen multiple posts stating, " Biological men don't belong in women's sports," regarding a match with Imane Khelif, the boxer in red in this photo. But Imane is not trans. I've seen some reporting stating that she has naturally elevated levels of testosterone, others say she is intersex with chromosomal variations. I haven't seen any statement directly from her so I don't want to comment on any of this. And frankly, it doesn't matter. The rhetoric around Imane and the rhetoric around trans athletes overall is dangerous and harmful for everyone. Sex and gender are not as clear cut as athletic guidelines and anti trans talking heads would like us to to believe. Whenever we try to reduce gender to something we can test for, we will fail and we will uphold stereotypes of what a woman needs to look like, act like, be like. That doesn't just hurt trans people, it hurts us all. We can have competitive sports that don't rely on dehumanization and fear tactics. The Olympics are about uplifting and celebrating greatness. Imane deserves better than this. We all deserve better. Note: I've turned off comments on this. I do not have the capacity to moderate the threads to ensure that the dialogue is respectful. #Inclusion #Transgender #LinkedIn

Grindr turned off its location services in the Olympic Village to help protect athletes from being outed. This could be a life saving measure given that there are close to 200 athletes competing from countries where being gay is punishable by death. Grindr prioritized the safety and dignity of the people who use it, but what if others at the Olympics also took action to do the same? What if the Olympic committee banned countries with these anti LGBTQ laws? Or enacted another kind of penalty that wouldn't harm the athletes participating? What if countries participated in campaigns to pressure and highlight LGBTQ inclusion and acceptance? Sometimes it can feels like discrimination is inevitable. It's been happening for centuries so why would anything change now? But it's not inevitable. Change happens becuase we decide to take action. Even if it feels small. Maybe it's unlearning your own biases by reading a memoir written by a bisexual author. Maybe it's responding the next time your co worker says something transphobic. Maybe it's advocacting for policy change or training in your organizations or communities. Change happens because people make it happen. Because someone says I no longer want to live in a world where LGBTQ people are unsafe. Today, maybe that someone can be you. #Inclusion #LGBTQ

I used to think I was just bad at maintaining relationships. I never understood how people found mentors or stayed in touch with their professors. Over time, I cared less about trying to figure out what might be "wrong" with me and focused more on finding spaces and people that made me feel valued. One of those spaces has been The Upside, a community of consultants that uplifts through every win and supports through any challenge. In June, I was honored to be invited to the White House Pride celebration when I received this delightful surprise from Erin Halper, CEO of The Upside Her message helped me realize that maybe I wasn't the problem all along. Maybe I just needed to find the right people, the right community. So, if this resonates with you. Take this as a sign. Maybe you are not wrong. Maybe you are not the problem. Maybe you need to find the spaces where you can thrive. The people who will not only encourage you to dream bigger than you ever thought possible but will also help you get there. Shabbat Shalom, friends. Or other words, I hope you find the rest and peace you need this weekend to feel whole and connected. #Community #People

Are you a manipulator or are you autistic? I came across this article, “If You Answer Yes to These 4 Questions, You May Be a Manipulator, According to a Cognitive Behavior Expert.” Spoiler alert: I answered yes to all of them: 1. Are you selective about sharing information? 2. Do you carefully choose your words and rehearse what you plan to say? 3. Do you engage in flattery? 4. Do you adjust your behavior according to who's watching? Being autistic, I don't intuitively understand emotions or much of neurotypical behavior. To navigate a neurotypical world, I've created systems and rules. This includes adjusting who I share information with, when to change behavior, how to engage in flattery. I meticulously choose my words and rehearse conversations to ensure clarity and smoothness, even for casual meet-ups with friends. Am I trying to be manipulative? No. Am I trying to survive in a neurotypical world? Yes. Every day, we make assumptions about communication from a neurotypical perspective. This isn't just harmful to autistic and neurodivergent people; it affects us all. It's crucial to discuss this within our teams and beyond. Disability Pride Month is coming to an end, but our conversation about how to create more inclusive teams and communities doesn't have to. And as always, if you need a speaker or support on how to have these conversations, DM me. #ActaullyAutistic #Inclusion #DisabilityPrideMonth