Defusing challenging situations with empathy

- Empathy is a core element of emotional intelligence and displaying empathy will help you to build strong relationships in challenging situations. I'm Gemma Leigh Roberts, a chartered psychologist and author, and I'm going to show you that, although some of us find empathy easier to demonstrate than others, there are three key ways everyone can learn to build empathy with other people. One, when working with others ask questions to find out more about what they're experiencing, how they feel about situations they're in, and how they're impacted by social interactions with others. Two, when you're in a challenging situation with someone consider the possibilities of how the other person may think and feel. You don't necessarily have to know exactly what the other person feels and you don't have to have had the exact same experience to imagine what the situation might be like for them. You just need to take what you know about that person and their circumstances, and imagine how they could feel, react, or behave and how they might think about the situation. Three, when someone shares their challenges with you offer support and understanding by using phrases such as, "I imagine "that could make you feel," or, "I suppose that situation "could make you think," it's best not to use definitive statements like, "It must make you feel." Or, "It doesn't seem," the reason for this is you want the other person to know you understand how they feel, but you need to acknowledge that you don't know exactly what the situation is like for them. So use tentative, exploratory language, and words such as could, possibly, and maybe. Ultimately, most people want to be understood, and they want to make connections with others whether that be in their work, or personal life. If you can lead your communication with empathy, even when you don't agree with the other person you will have a better shot at finding collaborative solutions and having open conversations.