From the course: Having Difficult Conversations
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Control the direction of the difficult conversation
From the course: Having Difficult Conversations
Control the direction of the difficult conversation
- One reason we put off having difficult conversations is because we fear we'll lose control of the conversation. This happens when the other person says something that distracts you from your objective. The conversation takes a left hand turn, and, all of a sudden, you're playing verbal ping pong. You've completely lost control. So how do you keep the conversation moving forward and free from distraction? Before inviting the other person to a conversation, clarify your primary and secondary purpose. For example, let's say, Hannah, your employee, does great work, but is always a day or two late with projects. The primary purpose of your conversation is to emphasize the importance of getting work turned in on time. Your secondary purpose is to understand why there might be delays. As you prepare for the conversation, try to imagine what distractions may arise. Perhaps Hannah will say something like, "I don't think this is fair," or, "That's not how we did it before," or, "My other boss…
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