From the course: Having Difficult Conversations
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Avoid exaggeration and escalation in difficult conversations
From the course: Having Difficult Conversations
Avoid exaggeration and escalation in difficult conversations
- Suppose you're the leader of a steering committee made up of peers. On your committee, you have Lisa. Lisa interrupts others when they have the floor, and she's very vocal about her opinions. Some members hold back and they seem timid compared to Lisa. You've tried to engage other members, but after four meetings, it's not getting any easier and you feel frustrated. What would happen if you said, "Lisa, I'm sick and tired of you monopolizing every meeting. You're way too aggressive. You intimidate everyone on this committee, and they're all afraid to speak up because of you." Chances are Lisa would feel attacked and she would either get defensive or attack right back. I mean, did you hear the escalation and the exaggeration? We need to tread carefully with these two behaviors when we're having difficult conversations. Most of us are unaware of how often we exaggerate. We say things like, "I'm completely worn out," instead of "I'm tired," or "I'm starving" instead of "I'm hungry."…
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