EQ and positive conflict management

- It's easy to assume that working in an environment without conflict is an enjoyable and productive place to be, but often that isn't the reality. Healthy conflicts at work can spark debates helping people to consider alternative perspectives, often resulting in teams pushing the boundaries of what is achievable. Creating environments where people can respectfully challenge ideas, perspectives, and opinions creates a healthy culture. When working with others, the key is to manage conflict in a positive way, and this is where emotional intelligence comes into play. Here are some ways to use emotional intelligence to transform challenging conflict into positive conflicts management. Agree on the rules of engagement with your team members. Consider how you want to engage with others, what's appropriate or not, and discuss this with a team you are working with, which I know isn't always easy to do when you're not leading the team or project. But even if you are not in a leadership position, you may be able to take the lead in this area and volunteer to create a team manifesto. You might, for example, want to decide what healthy debate means to you all as a group. Maybe it's encouraging everyone to voice their opinion and agreeing that all views are recognized. Perhaps the way that challenges occur is addressed as a team, such as words that are favorable to use and those that could trigger negative emotions. Maybe the personal elements of questioning needs to be diffused, whereby it's agreed everyone in the team is there to challenge ideas, not to challenge the person delivering their ideas. Minimizing the need to be defensive creates a robust support system. There's no doubt that conflict can be challenging to navigate, but it's a crucial part of the continuous improvement process. Although it's often assumed conflict can damage connection with an individual or a team, in fact, managing differences of opinion can strengthen relationships when done well. A team that rarely agrees on how to tackle challenges or which steps to take can become a strong support system for each other. The key here is respectful disagreement, and ensuring everyone feels their opinions have been heard. Ultimately, a respectful debate is a healthy form of communication, and over time that can build respect and trust. Practice plussing. The idea is if you plan to challenge an idea, you must add a constructive suggestion, so you're adding to the idea or plus. This promotes a culture of thoughtful and constructive challenge. The tip is from Ed Catmull, the former president of Pixar Animation Studios, who discusses the concept of plussing in his book, "Creativity, Inc." When you want to challenge an idea, consider the language you use. Try to avoid using the phrase "Yes, but", as this immediately comes across as opposing. It's hard for the other person who put the idea forward to be receptive of what you're saying as they're likely to feel defensive. You could try using phrases such as "Yes, and", communicating your ideas in a way that adds to theirs, or "What if", and offer a new way that you could look at the situation. In today's workplace, we don't want to eradicate disagreement as that can stifle creativity, productivity and satisfaction at work. Rather, we want to create the conditions whereby conflict, challenge, and debate are conducted in a way that can help to build solid connections and relationships, and using emotional intelligence can help to support that.