You're facing a conflict between students. How can you guide them towards a restorative dialogue?

Since most of the students are either teen agers or youth, the reasons for the conflict between them may be different, comparing with the conflicts of other age group.So before starting negotiation for resolving the conflict, root cause should be identified.If it is instigated by external forces the the persons/groups playing behind the curtain must be located.Some times political ,communal and vested interest groups may involved.In certain cases anti socials be there.So for developing strategical plan for resolving conflict clear assessment of the situation is essential.The solutions may be arrived at only through making the different groups convinced of the true situation.Quite often providing of cooling period is necessary.

In my experience, the best way to assess the situation is to honor students & their complexities. To explain: - Get the story/-ies straight, and the perspective of each story straight. A Rashomon situation can & does emerge. This should tell where the conflict is situated - if its psycho-social, institutional, systemic/procedural, individual, spatial, ego/identity based, etc? - Students - especially young learners - are reactive and seek belonging in groups. How is the conflict influenced by group dynamics? - Understand support structures and needs. Ensure a counsellor or another behavioral professional is present to give you a second opinion. - Involve willing adults - teachers, parents or guardians where possible.

After assessing the situation, it is vital to do the following: Listen: In order to completely understand the situation, you need to listen actively without bias so as to comprehend the root cause of their misunderstanding. Discus: Have a discussion with the parties involved in a calm deameanour. Reason with them based on your perspective of the conflict. Be observant to notice if it is truly in line with what their problem is. Teach them how to workout their conflict and reach a compromise. Get them involved in suggesting possible ways to forestall future occurrence. Workout an achievable action plan and emphasize the importance of team work.

Assessing the situation is crucial... always. Sometimes prejudgements of and misconceptions of a child due to "reputation" can often lead to misguided conversations and sanctions. Our role as educators in such a situation is to calm and control the situation, for all stakeholders. If both students see that their have been heard, they have been listened too, they are more likely to feel like you are there to help and restore. It will make further steps in the process to restore a relationship or to provide a resolution much easier

Understanding the reason/s and context of conflict is necessary. Gathering all information from both parties, listening to them empathically, this initial assessment will help us educators to identifying the underlying concerns/issues and emotions which is crucial in guiding the students towards conversation and conflict resolution.

I think I found it helpful to start by setting clear ground rules before initiating a restorative dialogue between students. Establishing these rules ensures that the conversation remains respectful and productive. Key rules include listening without interrupting, speaking honestly and respectfully, and maintaining confidentiality. Emphasize the importance of taking turns to speak, using "I" statements to express feelings, and focusing on the issue rather than personal attacks. By agreeing on these guidelines, students can feel more secure and understood, which helps facilitate a constructive and empathetic dialogue aimed at resolving the conflict.

I always go by this rule: "What is right is more important than who is right". In any conflict I'll first listen to both the students & then set rules/KRA's for both the students. And still if things are not working out, than I have to use above ule to give final decision.

Learning to use tools like reflection of what was said can be so helpful to develop listening and communication skills. Everyone wants to feel seen and heard. I started practicing this with my family and patients and it was well received! By mirroring back to them what I thought I heard, it gives that person the chance to acknowledge they’ve been heard or to fine tune how they are feeling and further investigate what’s happening. Mirroring can be a transformational practice. After someone has spoken adding ““is there more about that you want to add?” you are moving into curiosity or before reflecting back to them, ask “did I get that?” Tools for more Info: Jan Winhall Polyvagal Felt Sense and Harville Hendrix

One thing I've found helpful in resolving conflict and issues among students is really to provide a safe space for them to say what they are feeling. Oracy is so important and often a key skill that is under developed. Communicating whilst under stress and high emotions is difficult for even us adults, it will be that much more challenging for these young people.

In my experience, facilitating dialogue between students involves guiding them through a structured conversation. Begin by allowing each student to share their perspective without interruption, ensuring they use "I" statements to express their feelings and experiences. Encourage active listening, where each student reflects back what they heard to ensure understanding. Address misunderstandings and clarify points as needed. Then, prompt the students to discuss the impact of the conflict and collaboratively brainstorm solutions or ways to make amends. By moderating the conversation and keeping it focused on resolution and empathy, students can work towards a mutual understanding and agreement.

With younger students, it can be helpful to give them sentence starters. I feel ___ because ____. Modeling a healthy dialogue during times of conflict can lead to less outbursts.

It is so important to model appropriate dialogue, especially when talking about difficult subjects during conflict. Being the liaison to facilitate positive conflict resolution means teaching each party to express themselves constructively and without condemnation while being open-minded and closed-mouthed in response.

We have to model empathy. Being an empathetic listener will allow for people to build trust, and breed a culture of safety, promote a safe space and environment in which people can talk openly. After assessing the situation and allowing dialogue, and building trust, us educators can then look to encourage empathy to explain one and others thoughts and feelings, so all parties can begin to understand each other's views and experiences.

Empathy begins with willingness to listen and understand a different perspective. Encourage empathy by guiding conflict resolution on a positive path, being able to identify when the situation may be escalating and having the ability to intervene for the good of the conversation. Show empathy by your actions, actively listening rather than listening for response, having an open mind to consider another's opinion, and positive verbiage for self and those involved.

In addition to reflection and follow-up, involving a broader support network can further solidify the resolution and learning experience. Encourage students to share their insights with peers, teachers, and family members. This communal approach not only reinforces the lessons learned but also fosters a supportive environment that values restorative practices. In addition, integrating these reflections into the curriculum or school activities can help normalize conflict resolution skills and promote a culture of continuous personal and communal growth. This holistic approach ensures that the benefits of the restorative process extend beyond the immediate parties involved and contribute to the overall well-being of the school community.

Always make sure to follow-up within a few days and periodically with both parties to ensure you are mediating the entire process. Provide helpful feedback, reconvene and/or allow the individuals to take ownership of the process while allowing a safe, nonjudgemental environment.

Following up with the students is helpful, as well. School counselors do a great job with this! Students leave the initial meeting in a positive state; talk with them to see how they are doing a few days and/or weeks later.