What are common mistakes when coaching teams through conflict?

1 Mistake 1: Taking sides

One of the worst things you can do as a coach is to take sides in a team conflict, even if you think one party is right and the other is wrong. Taking sides will only create more resentment, polarization, and defensiveness among the team members, and damage your credibility and neutrality as a coach. Instead of judging or blaming, you should focus on facilitating a dialogue where each party can express their perspective, listen to the other, and find common ground.

2 Mistake 2: Ignoring emotions

Conflict often triggers strong emotions, such as anger, frustration, fear, or hurt. If you ignore or dismiss these emotions, you are missing an opportunity to help your team members understand themselves and each other better, and to address the root causes of the conflict. Emotions are not irrational or unprofessional; they are signals that something is important or needs attention. As a coach, you should acknowledge and validate the emotions of your team members, and help them manage them in a healthy and productive way.

3 Mistake 3: Imposing solutions

Another common mistake is to impose your own solutions or opinions on how to resolve the conflict, without involving the team members in the decision-making process. This can make them feel disempowered, disrespected, or dissatisfied with the outcome, and reduce their commitment and accountability. As a coach, your role is not to solve the conflict for them, but to help them find their own solutions that are mutually acceptable and beneficial. You can do this by asking open-ended questions, offering suggestions, and supporting them in implementing their action plan.

4 Mistake 4: Avoiding feedback

Feedback is essential for learning and growth, especially after a conflict. However, some coaches avoid giving feedback to their team members, either because they fear hurting their feelings, or because they think they already know what went wrong. This can prevent them from reflecting on their behavior, improving their skills, and preventing future conflicts. As a coach, you should provide timely, specific, and constructive feedback to your team members, and encourage them to do the same for each other. Feedback should focus on the facts, not the personalities, and on the actions, not the intentions.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?