Dealing with a resistant top-level executive in coaching. How can you break through their barriers to change?

Coaching resistant executives requires building psychological safety, understanding their professional and personal values. Ask about their goals and desired legacy to align changes with what matters to them. You're co-creating the coaching experience. The Immunity to Change framework is helpful. It identifies goals, examines behaviors preventing change, and reveals hidden commitments driving those behaviors. For instance, an executive struggling to delegate might fear losing indispensability. Bringing subconscious beliefs to light allows them to confront and challenge them. Understanding values can break through resistance. Effective coaching addresses not just what but why they resist change, fostering transformation in value alignment.

How can we build trust with an executive who's resistant to being coached? 1/ Often this is because the coaching was someone else's initiative, based on a difficult situation. Talk to HR or their boss: "What's the context?" 2/ Full transparency with the client: "I understand you had a tough situation recently. What were your takeaways?" Listen carefully and without judgement. 3/ Solidarity: I would share an unpleasant anecdote from my own past -- and mention how a trusted sounding board helped me move forward. 4/ Build on past successes: "What strengths have you developed in recent years?" or "What's the most useful feedback you've ever received, and how did it help your career? I'd aim for solidarity, momentum, a growth mindset.

In the learning process they must know their place, since in coaching for oppertunity to exist, they should listen and collect facts of information bits. Then when the coaching is finish, the executive need to explain back to the coach how they can apply the new knowldge.

Dans l'objectif d'instaurer la confiance, il est également important de savoir dans quel contexte le coaching s'installe. La demande de coaching vient-elle du supérieur ou du cadre lui-même ? Est-ce que le cadre a clairement été informé des objectifs de ces séances ? Ces objectifs sont-ils les mêmes que ceux du cadre ? Comment se sent-il avec cette démarche ?

Building trust is crucial, particularly when they may be skeptical about the coaching process. Begin by demonstrating a thorough understanding of their business and industry, showing genuine curiosity to learn more while acknowledging their significant accomplishments. Integrate specific examples or insights related to their industry to emphasize your preparedness. Be transparent about your coaching methods and goals, ensuring that all communications are kept confidential. Additionally, consider sharing testimonials or case studies from past clients within the same industry to illustrate your effectiveness and reliability. Show a sincere interest in their views and challenges. Touch, move and inspire them to enroll them

Active listening help in overcoming resistance and fostering a productive coaching relationship. Engage by paying close attention not only to their spoken words but also to the subtleties and nuances they may not explicitly express. Use empathetic listening to reflect their words back to them, validating their feelings and showing genuine interest in their perspectives. This approach allows you to delve deeper into the underlying issues behind their resistance, such as fear of failure or discomfort with vulnerability. By understanding and directly addressing these concerns, you can help the executive move past their initial reluctance and fully engage in the coaching process, paving the way for meaningful change and development.

Not only listening, but asking deeper questions about issues or topics being discussed. To test their confidence or efforts made to try and answer your questions. They can not just say they right and you wasting their time if they cant explain what they thinking. They can not just win because they a higher lever. They need to understand at high, middle and low order and level.

Dans ma pratique de coach, j'écoute activement la personne, mais j'écoute aussi mon "sixième sens", cette petite voix qui me murmure des choses à prendre en considération lors de mon écoute. Ce qui me permet par la suite de poser des questions pertinentes et qui font souvent mouche.

Influence is created when we touch an inner sensitive chord of someone. It can be by speaking the same language, it can be by sharing the same value system or goals, it can be through shared background or any other facet of value. It can also be a deep level of trust, a safe zone, The job of a coach is to find this link or zone which can help him influence the coachee.

Sensitivity need to be identified about their personality and level of their responces. If some examples are taken to be offensive, the coach might not be able to recover the situation, so should be done carefully

Personal interogation and self talk is important to explore the oppertunities. Building dialoque, scenarious, role play, need to happen using deductive reasoning teqniques and testing the benifits and consequences evertime, testing until you have exhausted all the options you could possibly think about. You can always discourage yourself more, the question is how much can you handle breaking yourself down.

J'aime beaucoup amener des alternatives dans mes coaching. Toutefois, il est nécessaire de faire attention à ce que cela reste des hypothèses et non pas des conseils que l'on donne. J'utilise souvent le questionnement pour formuler des points de vue alternatifs du style : Avez-vous déjà envisager de... ?

There is only so far you can go with your own opinions about your development, if people simply just avoid you because of mistakes, or conflicts, the silence would not help anyone. Without good or bad feedback there will stay a gap in the relationship and it cant just go away if not addressed. It is not good not telling someone what they did wrong when you have judged them. It might be how micromanagers believe its done, but i call this control blackmail, even when it has a nothing action and reason. It only desturbs time for everyone involved.

Le succès du coaching revient principalement au cadre, pour ma part, je suis là pour le soutenir et l'encourager dans sa démarche. Pour permettre d'atteindre les objectifs, je donne des "devoirs" à faire pour la prochaine séance. Cela peut être simplement de réfléchir à des alternatives, de tenir un journal, d'utiliser un outil spécifique... Ceci permet d'aller souvent d'accélérer le processus et, pour le cadre, de prendre la responsabilité du changement.

If there is evidence of resistance to coaching this can be valuable feedback which you can ask permission to share with your coachee as a starter for a deeper conversation. A three way meeting with the sponsor, coachee and coach is vital if the assignment is at remedial in nature. Here the coach can facilitate a conversation about what change the sponsor would like to see from the individual, why it is important and crucially the consequences if nothing changes. When there is clarity on the what, why and consequences for inertia in future coaching sessions any resistance can be challenged with the potential consequences.

Try using an autocratic coaching style. “Here’s a regimen, and I’ll work with you on your adherence to that regimen.” A framework so they can build confidence. It provides a structure that lets them know where they are in the process. They can begin to build trust by trusting the process you’ve created for them. Each time they reach the next step in the framework, they see progress. This technique was effective for me when I went rappelling on a vacation. I have a fear of heights. Nothing the guide said could get me to back up to the cliff, sit and push back. Until he broke everything down into the smallest possible microsteps. With every step back toward the edge of that mountain, I was closer to my goal of getting down the mountain.