You're faced with a client's blame for their mistakes. How do you maintain your composure?

I'll never forget the day a major client called, fuming about a mistake in their campaign. They were convinced it was our fault, even though I knew we'd followed their instructions to the letter. My first instinct was to defend ourselves, but I caught myself. Instead, I took a deep breath and simply said, "I understand you're frustrated, and I'm sorry you're dealing with this." The client paused, clearly not expecting that response. It was like the air went out of their anger balloon. From there, we were able to have a real conversation about what went wrong. By acknowledging their feelings first, without admitting fault, I opened the door to actually solving the problem.

When a client blames you for their mistakes, it can be tempting to react emotionally. However, it's vital to stay objective and focus on the facts. Take a step back and assess the situation calmly. Is there any truth to the client's accusations? If so, take responsibility for your part in the mistake and work towards finding a solution. Keeping your cool in challenging situations is key to maintaining a positive relationship with your client. Remember that getting angry or defensive will only escalate the situation further. Instead, take a deep breath and respond in a calm and collected manner. This will show your professionalism and help defuse any tension.

Maintaining a trauma-informed lens of 'what happened to this person to create this behavior?' rather than 'what's wrong with this person and why are they acting like this towards me?' helps create empathy and reduces the feeling of a personal attack or frustration from being blamed for something you didn't do. This approach can help reduce stress and make it easier to maintain your composure.

I remember this one client who was absolutely livid about a project delay. He was blaming our team left and right, even though the hold-up was on their end. My first reaction was to get defensive, but then I thought about the pressure he must be under from his own bosses. Instead of arguing, I said, "I can see how frustrating this is for you. If I were in your shoes, I'd be worried about how this looks to your team too." The change in his tone was immediate. He let out this big sigh and started opening up about the heat he was getting from upper management. Suddenly, we weren't adversaries anymore - we were two people trying to solve a problem together.

While we maintain composure, the way to lead is to towards offering solutions as end goal is successful completion of project/task/activity. Same can be done by: -Asking clarifying questions to understand the issue better. Aim is to find the root cause and avoid placing blame. -Instead of getting caught up in blame, shift the focus to solutions. Like- what can we do to fix and move forward -Working out on options and offering solutions post which its implementation and following up. Focusing on resolving issues than dwelling on blame works better for all. A lessons learnt can be done after the delivery/completion to avoid such mistakes again.

Emotional Detachment and Breathing: Technique: Practice emotional detachment by reminding yourself that the blame is not personal. Use deep breathing exercises to stay calm. Process: Take a deep breath in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and exhale slowly for 6 seconds. Repeat until you feel calm. Benefits: Helps you remain calm and composed, reducing immediate emotional reactions Active Listening and Clarification: Technique: Use active listening to fully understand the client's concerns and clarify the situation without getting defensive. Process: Listen carefully to the client's points, acknowledge their feelings, and calmly ask questions to clarify the details of the mistake.