You're coaching a C-suite executive on communication. How can you offer feedback without causing conflict?

Build trust and rapport. A strong relationship based on mutual respect and trust will create the right environment where feedback can be shared without causing resistance or resentment. Also, when the executive believes that you have their best interests at heart, they are more likely to be receptive to your feedback

Trust & Rapport are two essential ingredients in coaching senior executives. It is a delicate balance of being directive and understanding. With the foundation of Trust in your skills to direct them and the Rapport established, feedback will be taken with the intent it’s given - to develop them in this area and help them deliver the message with the desired impact. From my experience, some practical tips include: * focus on the message * play back (recording their delivery is always useful) in communication training - even for professionals! * role play - as a way of practice and a form of ‘stress-testing’ * offering alternative modes of delivery or alternative words Finally, always stay aware of their emotions and body language.

La confiance se gagne. Pour l'instaurer, voici quelques approches à utiliser pour ne créer des situations de conflits : - Pratiquer l'écoute active sans jugement - Partager des expériences personnelles pertinentes pour créer un lien - Respecter scrupuleusement la confidentialité - Être cohérent dans vos actions et vos paroles

“A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment.” -John Wooden Building trust is fundamental. Begin by establishing a foundation of mutual respect and confidentiality. Show genuine interest in understanding their unique challenges, context and goals. Listen actively and empathetically to their concerns, demonstrating that you value their perspective. Consistently follow through on commitments and be transparent. Trust is built over time through consistent, reliable, and respectful interactions. When trust is established, feedback is more likely to be received positively, as they can tell it comes from a place of support and shared objectives.

I find sandwich feedback very tricky and not that useful. The more you use it, the more it seems like a "strategy" for the tough message to come through. And there is the risk that they don't hear the constructive feedback and only the positives, or they are so used to it, when they hear the positive, they know there is a negative coming up and they don't value the positive. Any feedback needs to be very specific, showcasing the actual behaviour, the impact of either "positive" or "negative" behaviour. Then asking where they can improve. I also changed the term "feedback" to "can I give you an observation with the intention of adding value to your leadership / communication / style? The word feedback is loaded :-)

Cause the conflict, escalate it, and take to a point of emotional break, the client will either step up to the stress manage it, or they should not be in a management position. 360 stress testing is important for fast growing, fast changing businesses, cultural agility and handling conflicts under stress is what is expected. Embrace the conflict as a too, your client will appreciate it when he has a real conflict...

The 'sandwich' method is a well-known strategy that places constructive feedback between two positive remarks. Begin by highlighting a strength, then provide your feedback, and finish with words of encouragement or acknowledgement of potential. This technique mitigates the impact of criticism and maintains a balanced discussion.

Current observation what is happening during the conversation is key. When your own choice of words is different from those of your coachee or the pace of talk is not the same or sometimes even slower it may affect chemistry and trust. Feedback requires from the coach to create an absolute comfort zone for the client because they may enter real discomfort when they discover surprising news about themselves. That's why focusing on their character strengths is so important because the coach can help them overcome anything that comes their way during feedback by using their "superpowers". Studying Kübler-Ross Grief Cycle could be the best North Pole for both here too before the important feedback to learn how to understand difficult emotions.

What has worked for me, if the executive is up for it, is record a public presentation that you can go through it together - or attend their meetings with the permission to then give them observations with the intention of adding value. Important to understand there is no wrong or right behaviours, but what kind of consequences they wish. If I want to be known as a bully, then bullying communication might be ok for me, but what is the longer term goal? And no one wants to be known as a bully, we all have aspirational goals, and you connect them to their values and aspirational goals to understand their impact.

There are executives who like to have a spade called a spade. i helps to point out how their communication style is less about their intended message, than how it is received. For leaders who delight in being ‘sharp shooters’, I often remind them that there is human flesh receiving their arrows rather than iron/stone.

"Reflection is the lamp of the heart. If it departs, the heart will have no light."- Bayu Prihandito Encouraging self-reflection is a powerful tool in executive coaching. Ask open-ended questions that prompt the executive to consider their communication style and its effectiveness. Questions like, "What impact do you believe your communication has on your team?" can lead to valuable insights. Provide opportunities for them to analyze and understand their behaviors; have autonomy over their growth strategies. Self-reflection encourages a proactive attitude towards desirable change and helps them see the value in making adjustments. It also empowers them to develop their solutions, enhancing their commitment to improvement.

Questions are a powerful tool in Executive coaching. Once you have established a relationship with your client that is based on them being open and honest, questions are the way to go. If you ask the right questions in the right way, their thought process will encourage self-awareness. It is important that you do not ask leading questions and that your line of questions naturally flow from the answers provided as you engage in active listening. They will discover the strengths and weaknesses of their communication style.

In the reflective cycle it can be beneficial to use a scaler, which both brings focus and allows the coach room to manoeuvre. For example, on a scale 1-10 how do you think... Answer 5. Oh okay, what can you do differently to get to a six? Answer 10. Oh okay excellent why is that, what are you most proud of with that achievement? Then refocus, do you think that the audience felt the same? Etc...