Your client is defensive during coaching. How can you steer the conversation back to the objectives?

When a client comes to you for coaching, they are focused on the results they want to achieve. They aren’t necessarily looking to change themselves. So, when asked to make changes, they may become defensive because it feels like questioning beliefs they've held for many years. Your ability to lead them from defensiveness to openness depends on how well you can present various perspectives on the same situation and guide them toward making that shift.

First Acknowledge Their Feelings Empathize: Show understanding and empathy towards their feelings. You might say, “I see that this is a sensitive topic for you, and I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.” Validate: Acknowledge their emotions without judgment. “It’s completely normal to feel defensive when discussing challenging topics.” Secondly Create a Safe Space Establish Trust: Reinforce that the coaching environment is a safe space for open and honest conversation. Assure Confidentiality: Remind them that what is discussed remains confidential, which can help them feel more secure.

As coaches, we can establish a safe space built on trust to help us connect more deeply with our clients while achieving their objectives. Gently probe to uncover what’s really going on beneath the surface through asking powerful, open-ended questions. Remind them that they’re not alone in this journey. Offer support, whether through additional resources, exercises, or just being there to listen. Maintaining a supportive, non-judgmental stance and guiding the conversation with empathy and insight can help your client move past defensiveness and stay focused on their goals.

Use a moment to share with client that coaching is their journey, they are in the driver's seat 🚗 and you need not explore any topic they feel uncomfortable with. Also, remind them that this is a safe and non-judgmental space. So, at any point, if and when they feel ready, we can get deeper.

Clients often struggle with allowing themselves to feel challenging emotions - especially if they have had those feelings gaslit, invalidated, or dismissed in the past. Receiving genuine empathy from a coach can be a powerful and sometimes overwhelming experience. After reflecting and validating those emotions, allow your client a safe space to feel them for a few moments. It's not uncommon for them to cry a little - let them know that's okay. It's after the release of those emotions that you can guide them back to their own objectives and meaning-making. While the goal is to get to the objectives, rushing through can make clients feel shut down and perpetuate the lack of vulnerability that caused defensiveness in the first place.

When a client becomes defensive during a coaching session, it's crucial to reframe their thoughts and help them see the situation from a different perspective. By shifting their mindset, clients can uncover new insights, break through limiting beliefs, and open themselves up to growth and change. Start by acknowledging the client's emotions and validating their experience. Let them know that it's normal to feel defensive and that their feelings are valid. This can help create a safe space for open communication and mutual understanding. Use powerful questions to help the client explore their thoughts and beliefs. Encourage them to dig deep and reflect on the underlying reasons for their defensiveness.

Encontre maneiras diferentes de chegar ao mesmo objetivo, bata em uma porta, se não der certo, tente por outra. Só cuidado para não ser agressivo na sua comunicação, crie uma conexão antes de tudo. Ele só vai confiar em você caso se conecte e entenda que você está ali para ajudar e apoiar a meta.