Ant-Man is One of Ben's Favorites

Ant-Man looks awesome and I can't wait to see it on July 17th, possibly for Sam's birthday unless he is already on his mission. Big summer! Remember when Kate from Lost said she didn't want to be an actress? She made some carpet commercials and then changed her mind, I guess.

Some Thoughts

I hope you'll indulge me in sharing some thoughts today. As is my blogging prerogative, I haven't bothered to find a consistent theme or revise.

Did you ever know or babysit kids when you were young who referred to using the bathroom as "having a b.m."? I did. They were always a bit odd, but I have a feeling they grew to be successful adults. Maybe I can confirm on Facebook?

Speaking of having a feeling, I have a feeling my foster dog is pregnant. She sleeps all day and has big nips. I have no idea if this is an indication of pregnancy—I'm not a veterinarian! And I didn't grow up learning at the knee of one either, for some reason—but I just feel like she might be. She gets spayed next Monday so we'll see what happens and if the 14th amendment comes into play.

Yesterday Sam used the sewing machine to fix a hole in his sweater and today Ben fried his own egg. I think it's wonderful!  Are my expectations too low? Or are my sons advanced for 16 and 11? It's hard to gauge.

Also, everyone is talking about how cool Jared Leto is and how he should win an Oscar. I haven't seen Dallas Buyers Club. I imagine that it's quite good, but in this discussion of how cool and talented and how great Jared Leto looks at 42 no one—NO ONE—has mentioned how pedestrian his music is. He's the front man for 30 Seconds to Mars, which has always taken itself too seriously.

And finally, here are links to my Babble posts. Read them! It will prove to Babble that I am good and worthwhile and also you will like them. You will probably like them.

Here's the Mike Rowe story about his Walmart commercial. Maybe you already read it when Mike Rowe HIMSELF linked to it on Facebook. Please quit stalking me, Mike Rowe.

I covered the movie Noah, which hopes to appeal to Christians and non-believers alike. All I know is that my Sunday School class is very excited for it to come out.

Here are some good pictures of Princes William and Harry cradling fake burlap babies I mean sandbagging a flooding town in Berkshire.

And this is a pretty cool "Sweet Child o' Mine" cover done New Orleans Jazz style. I like it. Do you?

Are you having a good day?Are you having a good b.m.? Do you know when dogs are pregnant? Is Mike Rowe stalking you? I hope the answer to all of those questions is a resounding "Yes!"

Side By Side to End this War

"Lead me, guide me, walk beside me."

I am in love with this trailer—not infatuation, true abiding love.

Maybe you don't know. Maybe you don't care. But during the stinger of The Wolverine the scene was set for a very special collaboration between Professor X, Magneto, and Wolverine. On May 23 it will come to fruition and I can not wait.

When Magneto says, "You'll need me as well," my heart stopped. And it was only restarted by the jolt of hope that, at least in the Marvel Universe, former enemies with differing political ideals can shake hands across the aisle, cast aside their differences, and send a non-aging mutant with an adamantium core back in time to lead them to a new destiny.

Read Some Stuff I Wrote

This month at Babble I've been trying to be really scary and promotable. That's the name of the game in October! So take a look at my posts. I've grouped them for you by category, for your convenience. 

These are my Walking Dead posts:

Walking Dead Actors Looking Clean and Glamorous
Walking Dead's Rick Grimes: Father Knows Best for the Apocalypse?
13 Radical Prints Inspired by The Walking Dead (This post title was changed from "radical" to "awesomely scary" by my editors. If I'm really honest about it, these prints aren't radical OR awesomely scary. That's "publishing" for you!)

These are my Benedict Cumberbatch posts:

Hear Benedict Cumberbatch as the Voice of Smaug
Cumberbatch Makes the Cover of Time: Cumberbabes Swoon

Here are my posts about Books and Music (we love books and music, right?):

Your Next BBC Obsession: Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell
Britney Spears Does the Intro to Thriller
Funky Fan Art Inspired by Pink Floyd
11 Books You Must Read This Fall

TV Stuff
David Tennant Brings Broadchurch to America
American Horror Story Cast Dishes on What Scares Them (Note: I don't watch this show.)
Cast of Lost: Then and Now (Remember Lost?)

Celebs: They're just like us!
Simon Cowell Thinks He will Be a Good Dad
Can Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott Afford a Vasectomy?
New Captain America Trailer and The Stars of Marvel Universe
Natalie Portman Always Looks Cute
18 Times Hugh Jackman Was Accosted by People and Things
12 Fake Celebrity Accents: The Good, The Bad, And the Terrible
Hillary Clinton Wants to Be a Grandma
20 Photos of Sting Aging Gracefully

*Bonus Spooky Post
10 Telltale Signs Your House is Haunted

Can you believe I wrote all that? Which one's your favorite? What topic would you like me to tackle next?

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

School starts tomorrow. I will probably send a link to this post with my kids so their teachers can read what we did over the summer besides "watch TV," which is what my kids usually write in their journals.

It is true that there was a lot of TV-watching. Like,  a LOT. Sam watched all of Downton Abbey. Christian and I watched all of Breaking Bad (more on that to come). Ben's into Star Trek: The Next Generation and has watched and re-watched all of The Avengers and Justice League cartoons. Ben and Ellen are getting caught up on My Little Pony. Maggie enjoys marathons of Dance Moms. I just read an interview with Portlandia's Fred Armisen where he says, "I love television. I think it's a really exciting time for TV, and it just keeps growing. And people are collecting TV shows like they did records. You know, grown ups are just talking to each other about having seen this episode or that season … I love it."

We've seen every superhero movie that came out and re-watched such classics as Iron Man 1 and 2, Captain America, Thor, The Avengers, Wolverine, X-Men 1, 2, 3, and First Class. Last night we ended the summer fittingly with Wolverine. Ben and I thought we had the time frame in mind (after X-Men 3) but when we saw his bone claws in the first scene we were really thrown for a loop. Flashback, as it turns out. I also made the kids watch Wrath of Khan (which was a spoiler in itself) and then the Star Trek reboot of 2009 and then we went to Star Trek Into Darkness. It was a lot of work. But it was worth it.

Khaaaaaaaaaan!

And don't forget that Maggie and I spent a week at Girl's Camp way back in June. So cross camping off your list. We did it. My younger kids got to stay with Carly who obligingly extended her visit to Utah when Christian had an unexpected business trip during camp. We all earned a mansion in Heaven that week. We also watched an outdoor movie with a big bag of popcorn--the movie screen and the popcorn were leftover from the Stake Outdoor movie activity I'd done the night before, but so what. It still counts.

I turned 41. Sam turned 16. I took him to the DMV for a learner's permit TWICE. Once after it expired before his driver's ed class scheduled him for road. That one stung a little. He still hasn't been scheduled for road. But that's OK. Speaking of permits, most of my kids got their food-handler's permit too for a little business internship program we enrolled them all in suddenly and unexpectedly called SWEETO BURRITO.  It's as fun as sleep-away camp!

Christian even took the kids to a parade. I made cookies a few times. We just got back from Midway where we went shopping for school clothes at the outlets in Park City. Christian and I were going to power through to the Alpine slide but upon taking a vote, it was unanimous amongst the children that we just go home instead. So I think we should get credit for the slide, too.

Also, we sent Sam to Paris with his grandfather where he strolled around the Arc de Triomphe for a day or so and then took the chunnel to London for a week where he attended a conference of great thinkers in Cambridge and went to museums every day and drank Coke Light. So what if the price Sam paid was learning about reclining nudes in detail from his grandpa? Many people would (and have) paid that price for half the adventure.

Passing the sacrament in London? Priceless.

We did sleep in a lot. We did do nothing a lot. I did yell at my kids a lot and tried to make them feel guilty a lot for not reading any books. Maggie pulled it out there at the end by reading The Fault in Our Stars in a day. We went swimming as often as I could bear. Ellen made 3 mansions and a guest house on Minecraft. Ben somehow made himself look like a giant diaper-wearing baby on Minecraft. Little victories.

Ben dropped his phone in the beaver pond while sailing on a boat made of an old door and a lot of Styrofoam. While it was desiccating in a bowl of rice he learned 3 new songs on the guitar. The phone never recovered. We haven't replaced it. Maggie gave a talk. I gave a talk. Christian gave a talk. Sam gave a talk. Christian got released from the bishopric and called as the YM president. We had burritos for dinner a lot. Everyone except Ellen mowed the lawn. Ben got braces. We're going to Fun. this Friday. There's some other stuff I probably forgot. 

Let it be written. Let it be remembered.

Bumblebee is a Mom

I have this compulsive behavior I repeat. It soothes me. I go to YouTube and I search "Bumblebee saves Sam." I don't have to type it all, it just comes up after the first few letters. My video clip comes up and I watch it over and over. I just really like Bumblebee. I love Bumblebee. If I were a My Little Pony, my cutie mark would be Bumblebee.



I just watched it 10 more times. Shia Labeouf bugs me in real life. And Michael Bey is, like, the worst. He exudes trashiness. I hate how he films women. But, yeah. I'm super into Bee. Sam is lucky to have him.

Summer is Getting Away from Me

So, summer got away from me. Being at Girl's Camp the first week of summer killed all my plans for structure, summer bridge, family fun, routines, and any semblance of order. I'm still catching up. In the meantime, my kids are staying up late, sleeping in late, doing "chores" sporadically and begrudgingly. The only routine we have fallen into is the absence of routine except for the daily fighting and me getting mad and forcing my kids to read in their rooms where they go to text their cousins instead.

Not that Girl's Camp wasn't worth it. Because it was. Just don't post your cute laminated Summer Spinwheel in radical fonts of balanced food, job charts, and learning games. I can't bear it. Actually, do post it. What do I care?

Ugh. I also had to speak in church last Sunday, which just about killed me. 

Then again, this week was my Birthday week so most of our routine-interuptus was caused by me going to lunch, watching long stretches of TV, going to movies, and greeting well-wishers with large Diet Cokes. I love my birthday because on it the people who love me come out in full force and I really love the people who love me.

So I'm having a great summer. It just feels a little out of hand. But that's OK.

If you remembered it was my birthday but you didn't get me anything, just read my Babble Blogs. It's your gift to me. Here are the best ones from June (so far!).

The 9 Worst TV and Movie Moms We Love to Hate

Your Favorite Rock Stars Sing About Fatherhood

Jim Morrison Thinks Fat is Beautiful

Duggar Daughter-In-Law Becoming a Great Mom

Oh my gosh, SPOILER: Can you believe Josh and Anna are moving to DC? How will they cope? I'm glad they are going. It will be such and adventure. I love the Duggars.

How do you like my Jim Morrison image? I totally made it myself. He's pointing at the sign that says "Fat is beautiful." He's trying to get your attention. He's all, "YO. Check out this sign I'm pointing to with my finger." Well, he only points to it if someone fat walks by. Because it only applies to them.

Do You Want an Empty Life or a Meanigful Death?

 I just saw Oz The Great and Powerful with my kids for Spring break. I liked it a lot. It's good. I read a lot of reviews that didn't like James Franco in it. But I thought he pulled if off just fine. But before the show I saw something that made me get tears in my eyes and suppress a dry sob.

It was this:



I have grown to love Iron Man so much. I even love Pepper Potts, which is a lot for me. I think, though, that I was most stirred by Cheadle in the red white and blue suit. I mean, am I suppose to stand and put my hand over my heart when I see that? I forget the rules.

You know, when Joss Whedon saw Iron Man 3 he was all, "Great. What am I going to do for Avengers NOW?"

That bodes well.

And I just ate a giant chocolate carrot while I wrote this. All in all? Not a bad day.

This Week

What did I do this week? More like what didn't I do!

Lost and found 2 naughty dogs who crossed the Provo River and Center Street AND crossed them both again in reverse to eventually come home? Yes.

Registered (incorrectly) all the cub scouts in our ward for day camp? You betcha.

Took a 30 minute nap at least 3 out of the last 7 days? Totes.

Blogged my brains out at Babble? Always.

Rachel Zoe Reveals Her Favorite Girl Name

Anna Chlumsky is Pregnant (Thomas J. Sigh.)

Happy Birthday Gloria Steinem: What's the State of Feminism Today?

Josh Duhamel's Sympathy Pregnancy

Watch Doctor Who Prequel

What JRR Tolkien and CS Lewis Taught Me About Friendship

Walt!

And this is super exciting: ABC news called me and said Good Morning America was going to do a piece on this post: Facebook is Making Me Feel Fat.

And then they never called back. It's OK. I was relieved.

So click away! If you would like some context—some actual numbers—The other bloggers get 400,000 page views and I get, like 30,000. So, by all means, click! But just so you know, it's kind of hopeless. . . but do not tell Gloria Steinem I said that.

This Week

This week I got a new foster dog, Annie, and her 5 puppies. They are 2 weeks old. Annie and her puppies will be up for adoption in about 6 more weeks.

Puppies are a lot of work. I'm going through a lot of bleach. I'll post puppy pics when they get a little older. Look forward to that.

I've been covering the Entertainment channel for Babble. Here's what I've been working on:

My Beef with Spring Breakers This is my best post of the week. If you only read one from me this week, read this one about Selena Gomez's new movie. I have issues.( You will too.) 

Michelle Obama Looks Bangin' on the Cover of Vogue Get it, bangin'? Because of her new bangs? This post has a great quote from her about keeping her family whole.

For Rachel Zoe, Every Day is Take Baby to Work Day I'm recapping the Rachel Zoe Project, because I like it and they said I could. Even though recaps don't get very many page views.

Why is the Sky Blue? WHY IS THE SKY BLUE? Here's a video from PBS that explains why the sky is blue. So your kids can quit asking.

Coolest Harry Potter Prints In celebration of the new Harry Potter book covers Scholastic is releasing in September.

How to Save Money Like an Extreme Couponer These tips come from an actual, real-life extreme couponer. She sent me her book. Ima read it.

And here are a couple more fun videos I posted:

Clever french commercial

College student upstaging Billy Joel on piano

Finally, here's a creepy look at a show I'm going to watch and be afraid of on Monday, Bates Motel—It's a Psycho prequel. Yikes.

Now you're all linked up for the weekend! I'm off to do my puppy chores.

"I Wanted to be An Actor When I Grew Up" So Did Everyone

What did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a nurse. It didn't pan out. Of course, it's not like my mom is Florence Nightingale.

We hear a lot from famous people's parents about how their kids were natural performers, loved attention, and used to pretend everything was a microphone.

I believe there is such a thing as star-quality, charisma, or stage presence but guess what? Every kid is a natural performer, loves attention, and pretends everything is a microphone.

I have 4 shy, introverted kids who will almost surely grow up not to be actors or singers—And they do all of this too.

Allison Williams of Girls, (I don't watch it but I'm intrigued by it and I've read a lot of TV criticism on it) said in Harpers Bazaar, “My childhood was stamped with this one certainty, that I knew what I wanted to be, which I realize now was very unusual. Most of my friends are still figuring it out. I only knew one other kid like me; she wanted to be a singer, and in first grade we’d have sleepovers, and she dressed up like a Beatle and I dressed up like Marilyn Monroe.”

She's certainly no slouch, she went to Yale. I liked her on the Mindy Project. I just think stars are so often  out of touch.

I know many driven, passionate, failing actors. They have wanted to be actors since they were little, too. Most people do want to be famous when they are little. It's not that unique. Some of those people stick with it and work hard and/or get lucky and some of those people have Brian Williams as their dad.

At least Allison Williams acknowledges this, “It is apparent to anyone that there are fewer steps between me and Hollywood than there are for the average person. But at some point you are asked to stand and deliver, and people can be pretty ruthless in their judgment toward people like me… I operate with this sense of needing to live up to what I am asking of people. I am, by far, my own worst critic.”

I don't think I'm being ruthless in my judgment toward her. It just seems rude to say that about your childhood friends. That's all. Like they are slackers or something.

Photo Credit: Blossom Berkofsky

Finally Blogging About Something I Care About

I've got a new beat over at Babble. They asked me if I wanted to move from the Kid section to the Entertainment section. I said yes. I can finally blog about something I really care about!

I like to think of this as a promotion, but that might be a little optimistic on my part. I find that I'm feeling a little  Benedict Cumberbatch in a Kim Kardashian world. The entertainment section includes Humor, Tech, Books, TV& Movies and all the Celebrity Mom stuff. So it's right up my alley—my moody, cobblestone-lined alley.

I still have so much to say about kids and parenting and I will keep saying it here on my blog. I'm really happy for a change in topic at Babble, though, because my kids are getting older and they read my blog and the stories I tell are less and less my stories and more and more their stories.

It's getting to where writing meaningfully about my kids is an invasion of their privacy and as they interact more and more with the world the stories/struggles I would normally share involve their friends, other parents, and teachers. It's not appropriate to be peddling it on Babble. Or here, probably. So that's that.

Even though I sort of joke about being bad at writing "clicky" things and acting like a stuffy old English teacher who thinks slide shows are for sell-outs, I am really trying to learn more about web content and clickability and snappy headlines. I even checked some books out about it from the library. Ahem. This tweed waistcoat is itchy.

The fact is, I just can't force myself write about Honor Alba. That doesn't mean I will never write about Honor Alba. I might. There's no way of knowing what my muse will tell me to do. It comes from God's mouth to my ear and I comply. I'm just a vessel. And this week my muse whispered (it's a whisper, but it's FORCEFUL), "Is Richard Simmons wearing pantyhose under those short-shorts?"

Look How Weird Richard Simmons Is

How Will Binge Viewing Change TV?

How to Nurture the Soul of Your Family

A Taylor Swift Breakup Primer

Rachel Zoe is Tested as a Full-Time Working Mom

Weekend Reading

Hi guys. I'm just popping in with a few links to this week's Babble posts. I wouldn't want you to feel like I abandoned you in your time of need.

Let Dad Do It: Let me know what you think of this. It's a specific kind of advice to moms who have a hard time "letting" dad help with the kids and the house.

Sandy Hook Students Go Back to School: They went back on Thursday, just like my kids. Anyone experience the Dixon lock down a couple months ago? It scared Maggie. WHY IS LOCK DOWN A THING.

How to Survive the Flu: Truth be told I'm still relapsing from my Christmas flu. But I still think it's good advice.

Parenting Dos and Don'ts As Illustrated by Les Mis: Oh yes, I did! If I can take a movie I'm super into and turn it into a Babble post with a slideshow, I certainly will do that.

Do Not Read This Book Unless You are an Over-Achiever: A new take on an old favorite by Daryl Hoole. Oy vey. I'm glad she's not my relief society president.


10 Books to Help You Keep Your New Year's Resolutions: These books are guaranteed to help. Did you make any resolutions? I totally didn't. I always feel like the new year starts in the fall. It's too cold to make any resolutions right now.

Always remember and never forget, I write a new post almost every day for Babble. Stay tuned. 

Happy trails!

And So It Must Be for So It Is Written

Are you ready for me to talk about Les Miserables? I've been eagerly anticipating it for a while now. Here are my thoughts.

It's great, of course, The story is wonderful and I love it. Did I cry? No. But I did feel sadness. I wish it were a little more family-friendly because I love the music and message of it. The bit with Fantine is rough. I probably won't take the kids, which is disappointing because I've been playing the music for them since Thanksgiving and I made them watch the 25th Anniversary special.  The parts that almost made me cry were the Bishop's candlesticks part (Colm Wilkinson is the Bishop. I DIE!) and Eponine's death. Sad.

Now, for my critique of the singing. This is all just a matter of my taste. I'm not a singer and I'm no great critic of musical theater. The kids are show-stealers (little Cosette, Gavroshe). Usually little singing and dancing kids are so horrible and obnoxious. But these little guys are a treat to watch. Eponine is the stage actress so she's a wonderful—a real pro. Amanda Siegfried is sure pretty with big eyes and a face like frying pan but her voice is flimsy and wiggly. Whatever. Grown up Cosette is boring anyway. Her freckle-faced Marius seems like a great guy. I like him. But he sings like a woman a lot of the time. Too bad stage-performer Enjolras didn't survive the barricade. Am I right, ladies?

The movie-actor Enjolras is enthusiastic and vibrant. He's good. I'm sad that he dies. Sacha Baron Cohen is great. He has some kind of elusive star quality that people often talk about.

Now, I don't want to make too much of this, but I don't totally enjoy Hugh Jackman's voice. He sings well and hits notes but it has a quality to it that I find unappealing—grating, even.  That said, I think he makes an excellent Jean Valjean in terms of acting. I love Hugh Jackman. I think he feels the weight of the morality in the story. He is famously faithful to his wife who suffered miscarriage after miscarriage before they adopted their kids. I think he brings his experience as adoptive father (by which I mean, father) to his role with Cosette. He was fantastic. That said, I wouldn't buy the soundtrack to hear any of his songs again.

But what I would buy and what I find myself listening to over and over again, is Russell Crowe as Javert. I think he may technically not be a great singer of musicals—his voice isn't as loud and booming as it should be. But I loved him in this movie. I love his version of Stars. I love how his sweet little baby voice undercuts the blustering certitude of Javert. I like his fat face and beady eyes and I was just so moved by it. Obvs, Javert is one of the most interesting, misguided characters ever. I haven't read the whole book but I know I should and I want to. Still, I relate to Javert's small-minded clinging to his understanding of truth and rules and justice. It is easy to mistake vengeance for a kind of integrity. When you see a better man, when you benefit from the mercy of a better person it makes you feel like crap because you kind of still hate them. I know how it is, Javert. Oh, Javert.

And what can I say about Anne Hathaway that hasn't already been said by everyone, including herself? I heard some people after the movie saying that when Jean Valjean sees her in "Heaven" at the end she should have had her long hair restored. That made me mad. She's so fetching with short hair. It is true that she gives up her pride and vanity in the service of her child (don't we all). But I like to think that by doing so you gain insight and perspective so you care about bigger things—the sacrifice of teeth and hair seems small within the bigger picture. I just hope growing my hair out in Heaven isn't a "thing."

Have you seen it? What did you think?

You Win, Peter Jackson

I didn't think The Hobbit could be stretched into 3 separate movies without being boring. I was wrong. I saw it last night and it wasn't boring. Peter Jackson wins again.

I anticipated it all being so tedious: meeting the dwarves, getting out of the Shire, the singing. But it wasn't. I love the dwarves. I even liked the singing.

To watch it feels like reading the book. Everything is described in great detail. I wouldn't have wanted them to cut anything. About halfway into the movie I just submitted entirely to Peter Jackson's will. 2 more movies? 3 more movies? Whatever. I would watch all of them, happily. It's great fun. I can't wait to take the kids.

One thing I loved about it, especially, is getting to see Gandalf as action hero. In The Hobbit we get to see more of pre-white Gandalf within the context of the other wizards and guardians. Gandalf is of the people, you know? He's got his ear to the ground and knows the locals, unlike that hoity toity Saruman who thinks he knows better—And we all know what happens to him. (I just hope they already filmed all of Christopher Lee's scenes because he doesn't seem long for this world, by which I mean actual earth.)Yes, Gandalf has some magic at his disposal but he is also pretty good at simply stabbing orcs. Go Gandalf. You are awesome and I hope you never die permanently. Do I love you more than Dumbledore? Maybe? All I know is this: I'd like to discuss it with like-minded people for about 5 hours.

I also loved Martin Freeman as Bilbo. He is SO much better than Elijah Wood was as Frodo. I loved all the Lord of the Rings movies but Frodo has always bugged me. I don't like how Elijah Wood says things or looks. Is he a good actor? Maybe his face is just too smooth and his eyes are creepy?

Merry, Pippin, Samwise—they were all better than Frodo. We let it go because Frodo was the ring bearer so we thought maybe that was why he was a drag and looked like a toddler and didn't fit in and rolled his eyes into the back of his head grossly so much.

Seeing Martin Freeman as Bilbo makes me regret Elijah Wood as Frodo. But that's in the past. I can let it go. Of course, in The Hobbit it's the future. I can't help but wish for a better one.

I'll be posting more about The Hobbit on Babble later today but for now you just need to know that you should see it. It's good. It's not boring. It's clever. Gandalf is charming. You'll love Bilbo. The dwarves (and, this is surprising) don't get old. You're actually going to care about the dwarves. The backstory is interesting. The action is exciting. Gollum is better than ever. The LOTR foreshadowing makes for a lot of prequel-ly goodness. 

At least, I thought so. Instead of taxing my interest in Middle Earth yore, it made me want to learn more.  In fact, while perusing my Tolkien Bestiary late last night I actually got really stoked about reading the Silmarillion.

Yeah, I say stuff like that. So maybe this review is not objective. Just so you know, the movie is not exactly like the book (awesome comparison, here). But then, Bret from Flight of the Conchords isn't in the book either. Change can be good.

Bourne Legacy: James Bond's Runty Twin

You know how there's always one twin that's uglier? It's the runty version of the other twin because it got smooshed in the womb? When I saw The Bourne Legacy, I just kept thinking that Jeremy Renner looks like Daniel Craig's smooshed twin:

 

 Hey, I'm a big fan of Renner. He's wiry, he's handsome, he's Hawkeye. But you tell me who had better access to the placenta in utero?

 Bourne Legacy was good. I liked it. I give it a thumbs up. I'm not saying you have to rush out and pay full price for it like I did, but it's worth seeing if you're a Bourne fan.

There's one really interesting thing about Renner's Bourne and I'm going to tell you so get ready for a spoiler or don't read this: First of all, his name isn't Bourne. It's Aaron Cross. And without his government enhancements he's really dumb. Interesting, and kind of sad when you're thinking about how he's the ugly twin and also, apparently, the dumb twin. I'll tell you something else, too. Rachel Weisz never kisses Renner in the movie. They care about each other and they hold hands, but they never kiss. I think it's because the director knew it would tax our willing suspension of disbelief too far. She's married to Daniel Craig in real life, folks. I don't see her going for his runty twin.

And I will see you. . . at the movies!

Look at Lincoln

Look at Daniel Day Lewis as Abe Lincoln. Look at those veiny hands! I'm pretty stoked for this. The movie comes out in November. I'm big into Lincoln, you know.

So Shines a Good Deed in a Weary World

I went to see The Dark Knight Rises with my husband last Friday. There were uniformed police officers at the door, but the theater was packed and the tone was—all things considered—not at all grim.

Granted, the movie's themes of violence and vigilantism were much, much weightier and disturbing considering the tragedy surrounding opening night.

I went in to grab seats while Christian bought sodas. The theater was packed and it looked like it would be impossible to find two seats together. A pack of teenage boys sprawled across two back rows. I did the universal sign for "Are those all saved?" and turned around to find something on the front row when they told me they were. I was halfway down the stadium-seating steps when one of the boys caught up to me and grabbed my arm. They'd rearranged to give us two seats together. Not a big deal. But actually kind of a huge deal.

Jeff Jensen's (spoiler filled) review explains the way The Dark Knight Rises reflects the unease of our time. We find ourselves weary here in the post 9/11 United States. There's a lot to be scared of and it seems like it will take a lot to fix it. But within this context of unease, I think small acts such as giving up seats in a theater become even more important.

That's why I love super heroes. I love them because I believe that good and evil are at odds. I love it when people do their best, when they are principled, stick up for others, fling webs, stop bad guys, are not selfish or mean. I love it when they rally.

I believe in Batman because I am Batman. I think raising kids is heroic. I think being kind and fair is heroic. I think moving over for someone in a movie theater is heroic. I don't have Bruce Wayne money or Batman gear, but I am trying. Really, so many people are trying. And if you've got a bunch of people trying you've got yourself a Justice League and that gives me a lot of hope.

(Read my writing every day at Babble.)

Gunter Glieben Glauchen Globen

When I saw Rock of Ages last night some people walked out of the theater about 30 minutes into the movie. Hey, I respect them for it. It is kind of obscene (PG13). Don't take your kids to it. Frankly, it was no worse than any White Snake video I watched when I was 12.

I didn't walk out of Rock of Ages because I liked it.

I totally love heavy metal from the 80s. Not as in, "Isn't this a dumb old song from the 80s?" But as in, I actually think Def Leppard is a really good band. I do--like, seriously.

I know it's not hip but it doesn't change the way I feel. Rock of Ages is campy and jokey but as I listened to the music I thought--this is great music and it is no joke.

I like to think I have good taste in music (I think most people like to think that). Who's to say whether it's "good." I do know that my love of music is totally earnest and unselfconscious. We used to have very little control over what we listened to. We listened to whatever came on the radio. I laid on the floor outside my sister's room and listened to whatever she was blasting. You couldn't choose a song on an iPod or search for anything on Spotify. I think people were more tolerant of different genres. Now a days you could go your whole life without ever hearing top 40.

When I was little I used to sit on the counter and play music on a tape player that was in the window sill above the sink. The first song I really fell in love with was "Copacabana" by Barry Manilow. I LOVED it. I died over "Mandy." I asked for a Barry Manilow record for Christmas and I got one--along with a disco kid record player with flashing lights. Talk about lame, right? Not at all--It was awesome! See, I'm totally self-aware about music. I'm just not self-conscious about it.

I know this story would be cooler if it had been Chuck Berry or The Clash that turned me on to music. But it wasn't. It was Barry Manilow. Then it was A-Ha and Howard Jones and Bon Jovi and Def Leppard. I'm equal opportunity, man. And I defy you to name a more beautiful song than "Home Sweet Home" by Motley Crue. It's a lullaby. It's an anthem.

So I basically know every word to every song in Rock of Ages because I had heard every song a thousand times at that age when you memorize everything effortlessly. I didn't even know I knew it. Heavy metal is easy to memorize. It's so obvious. It's not clever. It's sincere. Don't get me wrong. We used to make fun of Steve Perry and the guys in Foreigner, especially. The aren't cool. But oh, I love to sing along. I defy you to name a more beautiful song than "Faithfully" by Journey. It's a love note. It's a vow.

In the 80s heavy metal was on MTV all the time. You think Rock of Ages is thin on plot? Light in depth? Hardly. If you think of it as a music video it is positively rich in imagery, tension, and story. It's one of the best music videos I've ever seen. And that includes Guns N' Roses' video for "November Rain," which I defy you to find a more beautiful song than. It's a trial separation. It's a hymn.

Even as I write this I am of two minds. There are jokes to be made about this era with the "music" and the "hair" and the "guitar solos" but those jokes are all on me because Speedwagon makes me tear up and Pat Benatar is a stone-cold hero.  Like, I really think that.

I Love The Avengers

It should come as no surprise to you that I loved The Avengers. I'm very enthusiastic about it because it's just so much fun. You get to see Hulk try to pick up Thor's hammer (SPOILER: He can't) and you get to see the one thing that can withstand a Thor Hammer-blow (SPOILER: Cap's shield.) It's a blast. Good for Joss Whedon. Converging and assembling all those heroes has got to be a lot harder than it looks.

Worst: Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury (but he's not really even that bad).
Best: Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner (KACY LOVE DISHEVELED SENSITIVE TYPE IN RUMPLED BLAZER.)

Of course it's got me thinking about dressing up my family as The Avengers for Halloween. It's always problematic though. The kids can be anything but what can I pull off? There's just nothing I can do that won't come out gross. Obviously I look exactly like Robert Downey Jr. but anytime a woman puts on a fake pointy beard you get into gross territory. The Black Widow is the only girl Avenger but they haven't invented the Spanks yet that I would need for that costume. It's just so hard for me to express myself at Halloween through a Super Hero costume. I don't think it's fair.