The upcoming videogame based on the "Saw" horror films will closely approximate being strapped to a chair and forced to figure out a confusing electronic torture device for the amusement of its sadistic creator, said project lead Steven Richards.
"When Konami took over production, we asked ourselves what type of game would appeal to both gamers and horror fans," said Richards. "What we came up with was, a game so terrible that people are willing to saw off their own feet to avoid playing it in the first place. Frankly, we think it's a winning concept."
The "Saw" franchise, known for claustrophobic locations, depressingly drab set designs and "average Joe" protagonists, will take no advantage whatsoever of next-gen graphic capabilities, design director Ed Chu said.
"Today's platforms are capable of so much in terms of visuals," Chu said. "We felt that trapping our characters in a series of small, ugly environments would set the series apart from games like Killzone 2 and Fallout 3, which were lovingly designed over a period of years. We've got to hack this thing out in time for the next movie, you know? We don't have the luxury of time."
In a move sure to enrage fans of the movies and hardcore gamers alike, Saw will feature frustrating puzzles as well as combat sequences totally unlike anything in the films.
"There are two things videogamers can't get enough of," Richards said. "Arbitrary deaths and movie tie-ins that totally contradict the spirit of the source material. We'll have both of those in spades."
The much buzzed-about puzzle interface is designed to be as unfair and confusing as the traps laid by serial killer Jigsaw himself, Richards claimed, adding that players will experience many of the same emotions as they would in a real-life death trap.
"We worked hard to capture that sense of despair," he said. "'What's happening to me?' 'When will it stop?' 'Why would anyone do this to another human being?' These are the questions we want people asking themselves when they're playing Saw."
The preceding content was intended as a piece of fictional satire and should not be taken seriously.