So ur little gal,will grow STRONGER,and STRONGER.

finally,i'm alrite.thank u all for ur care and encouragement.although i'm still struggling for the 1000 word essay due on Mon,there's no more crying or hysteria or vulnerability.tat's good,right?calm down,then u'll see a path in the mist.i've found the courage which has been long lost and all my belief is back.yep,u r right,everybody is lost and everybody is suffering.it is the suffer that encourages me and makes me grow.so ur little gal,will grow stronger,and stronger.Azure,u must survive and u will survive.u cannot be so easily stopped by these.Be BRAVE!Be STRONG!

 

我的项链还在,可是它夭折了.脖子上带着四叶草的月亮项链,默默说再见.LuckyClover,终究会是记忆里那两个孩子的整个夏天.farewell.

 

日程排得满满,直到下周下下周.空格里填的全都是Blood Donation Drive.很努力的在做这样一件事情,甚至偏执的把午餐时间都挤掉.我只是想努力的做,单纯的不计后果.既然把自己逼到了绝境,就要勇敢的存活.

Things occasionally go WRONG.

i dun know why i start to feel depressed again, in this beloved summer.all those despair,frustration and tiredness make me breathless.it is not because of S.A.D.sry to me,i should not let myself swallowed and drown.sry to mom,pls dun worry.it has been raining for the past few days,but i have lost the courage to run in the rain.i have lost me.tat strong-minded child, she's gone.pls forgive me,Lucky,i was the one who was not keeping the promise.dear Shirly,if u can remember,pls do tell me what person i used to be.i cannot find myself.is it i that buried myself alive?everything is so blurred.i need a BREAK,even though it is right at the start of this new semester.i wanna run away,to the end of the world,to some isolated place.i wanna walk,till all my strength is used up.i wanna cry,like a baby.i wanna hide,so tat nobody finds me.

 

mom is always right,i can never control my emotions.i dun think i can do tat no matter how hard i try.

 

BE STRONG!

 

sry tat i put these in my blog.i know a lot of people will read it.i will be fine.everything's gonna be all right.

last night.

凌晨三点.我们坐在水边,数星星说话.

夜很深很静,风很柔很轻.你好,月亮,久违了.

一颗耀眼的星陪着它,水很平静的流过大理石.

往事,仿佛我不在其中.原来,我只是看客.

Thank you for hearing me,XL.

Everything is fine&USP is tough.

开学一周了.五门课,还算正常的安排.通常早上都可以睡到8点后,对于year1来讲,是不是比较幸福了呢.

MA的老师是local,讲课比较不好的习惯是只盯着电脑屏幕.感觉他是那种自己懂很多但不会教学的人,有点像Dr.Adrian.

PC的老师很幽默,经验也很丰富,蛮喜欢的.

EG老师总是让我想起block里同样来自孟加拉国的小朋友.

EC于我是个挑战,真的是from ground zero.但是还是要有信心不是.小朋友,加油丫.

UWC历经千辛万苦拿到(夸张了,只是G account里面分被扣光),反正我是破产了.topic还是很感兴趣的,虽然Dr.Lo说了句you may be disillusioned但是还是狠下心给自己一个小小的挑战.12个人里面只有我自己一个人是non-Singaporean.到目前为止还是会feel strong anxiety...凌晨两点都没有读完四十多业的阅读,第二天早晨7点爬起来继续.这门课,真的需要很大的投入.

sheares supper很好吃,我有成为supper girl的潜质.打住,虽然对体重不是很在意,但是还是不要让妈妈担心.

TKD,Red Cross,Chinese Orchestra,在做自己喜欢的事情.

奥运没怎么关注,但金牌数不应该是追求的目标.体育精神貌似被淡化了,真的做好输的准备了么?

Block Initiation参加了一半,不断挑战所能接受的底线.其实有时候是想留hall的,然而..

题目可以很好的总结这一周,everything is fine but USP is tough.

有时候想想接下来这半年的日子会很恐惧,崩溃感伴随着焦虑.丫头,你需要继续坚强.

自说自话.

rag之后.像琴弦崩得紧紧终于刷得一声断掉,垮掉了.

got fucking fever.

injured during TKD training.

what a day.

 

一个人吃饭,一个人买水果牛奶,一个人傻傻走路.

IsoLatEd.

没有眼泪.

RAG很辛苦,连续很多天熬夜通宵,每日睡眠时间不足四小时,吃饭极不规律,行尸走肉般过活.从不敢看镜子里虚弱苍白的自己.每个人都在挑战一个叫做极限的概念.太阳很晒,一整天泡在SRC.伤,每个人的脸都红得像番茄.结束后再动弹不得,却还是撑着去接水,因为和YY抬的栅栏并不是那么重,那些抬钢琴楼梯的更加辛苦.宣布结果的时候大家都很虔诚,只是今年上帝没有那么眷顾我们.看到很多人的泪水,Sandra,YY,婉心,智诚,甚至平时冷静的boss.我知道自己没有眼泪.手牵手搭了很远,每个ragger,dancer走过的时候歇斯底里的喊Sheares Hall.然后所有的ragger都沉默了.坐在SRC的草地上,面对马路的川流不息,一句话都没有.俊雄虽然努力在开玩笑,但总是觉得那么勉强.被BLOCK C seniors抛到空中,然后感到释然.有这样一群人,他们三个月来变成了anti-social cave people;他们三个月里把一堆废弃的瓶罐纸变成了宏伟漂亮的float.何愁明年我们不会赢回来呢.As our hall master has said,we didn't get the shield does not mean we didn't win.At least we've got one;we need to give other halls a chance.Next year we Shearites will definitely win back the chancellor's shield.

没有眼泪,因为相信他们,也相信我们.

 

week 0结束,尽快回到上学的状态.module bidding的问题有很多,需要慢慢解决,学会了厚着脸皮不断appeal..