2014;

*wipes dusts off blog*

Just felt like virtually penning down my thoughts, I have a lot to be grateful for and at times, i feel undeserving, alhamdullillah i must have done something right.

Reasons i've strayed from blogging: Life happens. Plus, who has the time? Work, marriage, family, work, work, work.

I just felt like reflecting on the past year, 2014. Wow, where did 2014 go really? Time flies when you're having fun they say, and they said it alright. I remember going into 2014 really determined. Determined to let loose and enjoy life as it goes, as it is. 2013 was hard, i was grieving, grieving for the loved ones i've lost and grieving for the one thing i couldn't achieve.

And that one thing i couldn't achieve is currently having a party in my tummy as I'm typing all of these down :)

How long have we been married? 4 years in a few months. Starting a family have always been on our agenda. But when it doesn't happen for a pretty significant period of time, you kinda get scared to talk about it or sometimes think about it.

Everyone goes through a different experience. Some have it easier, while others, well have to go through a more tedious path. My biggest belief in life is that, everything happens for a reason, since my teenage years i've always told myself there is a reason for every experience or test that He has presented me with. That is basically how i am able to go on with life, hopeful and always looking forward to what comes next. But this journey is by far the hardest, most emotionally tormenting for me. I have never felt such sadness and heartbreak. I have never shed so many tears for not being able to have something i wanted so badly.

HE came to me one night, after another negative pregnancy test, after i sobbed silently while convincing my husband that i was fine, that we can always try again. But my heart was broken, again. I prayed to him to just give me a sign, would i ever become a mother?

The dream was surreal, it felt so real yet i knew it wasn't. I was a jovial me, taking a digital pregnancy test, The results came up, "Not quite yet.." I nonchalantly exclaimed, "What nonsense is this?" and carelessly flung it into the bin. I woke up, crying. I felt thankful yet ashamed that i didn't believe in His timing. I felt a sense of awakening and told myself, "I will be a mother, just not quite yet."

I made the decision to stop actively trying to conceive. I stopped tracking the days, stopped feeling sorry for us for still being childless. It wasn't our time yet. That was when i told my husband we should finally go on the trip we've always dreamt of (which took a lot from our savings) and that this was the year I was going to go back to school. I shall chase my other dreams. So we did. And if things still didn't look any brighter, we would at some point, see the doctor again for tests whenever we felt ready.

And i had a great year, 2014 was splendid. We went to beautiful New Zealand, road tripped the south island, saw nature in its beautiful glory, counting our blessings with every step we took. And then my brother got married. And i got accepted into school for my advanced diploma. Plus we were looking forward to my sister's wedding. And then we found out that my sister-in-law was expecting! I was ecstatic for them yet a little broken inside, i felt like i was at that grieving stage again. At that point, halfway into the year, we thought we would just go get those tests done. I emailed the fertility centre and scheduled an appointment a month later, after Ramadhan. It would be a week after hari raya, the first sat of August. I didn't put much thought into it, i just carried on with life. Hopeful and feeling blessed.

Well, fast forward to now, i am at my almost 6 months stage of pregnancy. My little one, a girl, would be due the end of April. April, our anniversary month. I feel so blessed and amazed at this experience I'm going through. When we found out we were pregnant, i was so doubtful. Could i really be? I can't even describe the emotions. Happy, scared, anxious, excited, BEYOND grateful and just blessed. Its funny how things worked out. Turns out, there was nothing wrong with us. We didn't need any medications or any treatments. It was just timing. Our appointment was scheduled at the right time. It wouldn't or might not have worked out like so if we had seeked treatment earlier or later. It was all God's will. Alhamdullillah.

It has indeed been a special year for me. I am so grateful for this beautiful gift. For this sunshine who is already lighting up our lives. I am so grateful to the Almighty. So grateful for my supportive husband. Grateful for the friends who silently supported me instead of trying to advice me on things i already knew and have already tried and chiding me for probably not doing something right.

And i am so grateful and blessed you have chosen me little one. Our cahaya emas. Our little Naya Elena. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms, kiss your face and tell you how much i love you. And how you are definitely worth the wait :')

2015 will be yet another splendid year, insyaallah.

Random merry stuff;

I think I have found my signature hair color.
And its diy too!
I love my hair nowwwwww PLUS this diy dye job has made my hair so soft and manageable its insane!
Will keep dyeing my hair with the same color so it'd seem as if it is my original hair color! Weehee

Am sitting in the train now and decided to blog just cos. PLUS I'm bored (no earpiece).
I gave in today and bought the chanel sunscreen! (My fav pharmacist talked me into it.)
I know its like woooo chanel expensive its just a sunscreen BUT its 30 freaking mls! That's half more than normal face sunscreen so it isn't really that costly. And I got the cute lil' paperbag too weehee

And I finally used my loccitane vouchers! Paid only a third for the serum I bought! Such a high! That thing retails for 97bucks. Managed to offset 60bucks SUCHA GOOD DEAL gahhhhhh *pulls hair*

Anyw, went to A&F today and I hated it! Friend said if u don't like this place means u won't like clubbing! BINGO which is why I don't club!

Kbye.

Upcoming phase in our life, HOME :)

So since we got news regarding this...

We've been freaking out a little. Finances, interior design, contractor, furniture, furnishings etc...
A part of me is glad that i actually have a project to work on since ya know being married is making me a sloth..
And another thing i'm glad about is that our apartment is gonna be pretty small (as with all hdb nowadays) which means we can get away with as little furniture as possible and the use of white! i love white rooms, its so simple and bright!

This is basically how the floorplan looks like..

Main door is on the top left hand corner.
Upon entering, our kitchen's on the left.
Then the living/dining, bedroom 1, bedroom 2 and the MBR at the end there.
Main toilet is facing the 2 bedrooms.

We want a simple, minimalist and cosy home in shades of white(!!) black/ grey and a pop of color (maybe teal as Wan prefers.) Some ideas..

Shooooo cosyyyy

Shoooooo homely..

Now, the kitchen is where i'm scratching my head a little here. Cos i want it to be white(!!) but its really not practical i feel cos everything will just get stained unless we invest in a high end laminated white which costs a bomb! So, still undecided about the kitchen. Modern black kitchens are really chic but i don't enjoy being in a dark space, it'd be too gloomy for me. Thought of going grey..
Well we shall see, one things for sure, the counter top will def be black cos its low maintenance and i'm a working woman!

yay or nay?

As for our master bedroom (teeheehee!) we kinda want an almost empty no furnishings just the bed kind of atmosphere (Well, of cos there'll be my makeup TABLE) but we pretty much want everything else to be hidden. The bed, a wardrobe, sexy lighting, a ceiling fan because it is a tiny room i'm sure.

Love how the drawers and shelves are built against the wall
and simply covered by a sliding door.
Kinda like a partial open concept.
On lazy days, i can just throw things in and slide the door close!
BUT (there's always a but *sad face*) its not cheap!

So there, rough ideas here and there. The bathroom is gonna be minimal cos hdb has put in the tiling and floorings already (i know so cos Dad already went in to view our house.)
We shall see ya we shall see...
Really need to get in the space itself, get a feel and visualize where everything's gonna go.
For now, SAVE $$$

Find the one that makes you smile.

Exactly.

My fav beauty products (2011)

Products on this list are those i've used over and over again this year. Those that i keep going back to after trying so many other products and those i've repurchased just cos it works so well for me! The purpose of this entry is just so i can look back at the end of 2012 and see what has changed and what hasn't and maybe revisit past products that i may have neglected.
Its gonna be divided into skincare and makeup. Here goes...

SKINCARE

1.)

Soap & Glory's Scrub your Nose in it!

I use this as a exfoliating, pore-refining, blackhead removing mask. And for when i have breakouts. It shrinks my pimples. Super duper tingly sensation (almost painful) but it works great!

2.)

Hada Labo Super Hyaluronic Acid Hydrating Lotion

Best thing to ever happen to my skin. This was what gave me my wedding skin. The dewy, translucent skin glow. I'm going through my 4th bottle. That's how much i love it. Best results when used right after stepping out of the shower. Absorbs like a dream, keeps my skin supple and hydrated.

3.)

Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Complete UV Waterlight Lotion  SPF 50

I first picked this product up when i moved back to yishun cos i'm always walking under the midday sun to get to the mrt. It is super light, not unlike traditional sunscreen and doesnt break me out. I apply this after my hada labo and that's my usual go to work look. It is also a good moisturizer with added spf50 that does not feel too heavy esp for our humid weather. Been using this for almost 3 years now. Have never stepped out of the house without this. Feel so naked if i ever forget to.

4.)

Bio-essence Hydra Spa Energy Nourishing Sleeping Mask

As its label, it is a sleeping mask, used before bed for added hydration. This is my miracle go to product when i want any zits to miraculous disappear overnight. I dont know how it works that way since it isnt exactly a zit combating product but thats what it does to my skin. This is also what gave  me my wedding skin cos i used it every single night a few months before the wedding. No new zits, cleared out my pigmentation. Now i'm lazier so i dont use this every night. Think i should lah hah.

5.)

Cleansing Express makeup remover (i think they changed the name)

Best and most fav makeup remover. Will never use anything else. Its water base which i love and removes waterproof mascara extremely well. And bcos its water based, hydrates like a dream. On lazier nights, i use this, go to bed and skin looks dewy the next morning. Gone through so many if this. I think 5th bottle ardy.

MAKE-UP

1.)

MUFE Mat velvet+ foundation

Used this for most part of the year just cos its full coverage but lightweight and feels like skin. Good for oily skin (esp in humid sg). Does not make my face greasy or slide off my skin. Only grouse is, the color is now too dark for me (i've gotten fairer since moving into Wan's house, lesser time under the sun.) I need to get another in a better match for my skin. I love this foundation!

2.)

Mac Mineralized skinfinish Natural

I use this as my setting powder. Gives a natural, matte finish on top of my mat velvet+. Sometimes i just dust this over my neutrogena sunscreen for lazier days. And i still have so much left despite the heavy wear.

3.)

Amazing Cosmetics Concealer

The only concealer that works for me. My dark circles are a nightmare (shift work u kill my skin). I think this works cos it has a orangy yellowish tone to it that corrects the bluish circles so yeah, never found anything better lei. 2nd tube and going...

4.)

YSL Touche Eclat

Doesnt it just look divine? I use this as a skin luminizer. Its not a undereye concealer but it can be if your circles are not as dark. I use it perk up the skin. Make me look less tired. Under the eyes, above the cheekbones, around the nose and lips. It evens out the skintone and if i were to put on any kind of makeup on my face for work, this would prolly be it. Makes me look less like a zombie (which can potentially give my patients a heart attack, CHOY!). Sometimes i use this before my foundation so i dont have to pile on so much concealer after. I so sayang this product xoxo.

5.)

NYX eyebrow pencil

The only eyebrow pencil i use this year. Think its cos the color is so perfect. Not too dark but looks like my own brow hair. Color: taupe. Plus its cheap and i really like the comb at the end. Dont think i'll ever use another brow pencil. Never found any with sucha color.

6.)

MAC's fluidline in dipdown

I started using brown eyeliner this year for a more natural look esp for work. Mac's gel liner has really got to be the best one. I used to use bobbi but this is smoother and glides on soooooooooo effortlessly. I really love this shade. Gives a defined eye look without the drama. LOVE IT

7.)

Shu uemura basic mascara

The only one that holds my curls. I use this as a base after i curl my lashes, let it dry then top it off with another volumizing or lengthening mascara (depending on what i want to achieve). Without this, whatever mascara i use after curling my stubborn lashes will immediately drop. Therefore, i cant live without this EVER

8.)

Mac's lipstick in Malt

My perfect nude lippie. And sadly, it has been discontinued :'( I have many other lippies but i always reach out for this cos it complements all looks. And it covers my pigmented lips really well. I found a dupe for this but it isnt as pigmented haishhhh i hope i find something better before i run out of this.

9.)

Urban Decay 15th anniversary palette

Eversince i got this, i've only been using this. It blends like a dream and the colors are just gorgeous and sooooooooooo pigmented. I have to always force myself to use something else but yeah fav eyeshadow palette this year.

10.)

(Dirty) Sigma Brushes

I've acquired quite a collection of sigma brushes. The only brushes i've been using this year. The best for eye makeup and its sigmax brushes are the best for liquid/ cream foundation application. Great brushes like this really helps speed up makeup application. I have 21 of them (cant wait for more to arrive hehe)

(The only) BODYCARE

L'occitane Shea butters

I'm obssessed with this! The hand cream and foot creams have changed my skin. Especially the foot cream. Slap it on, put on cotton socks, go to bed, sexy feet in the morning. I love the scent, the feel and the results.

.........------------..........

Annnddddddd that's it!
So yeah, i love all of these products with all my heart and soul.
k bye! :D