DRY-RUN AND HONEYMOON OVER

On 30 May, I completed my fourth month into blogging and this post is my 86th. OK I suppose, but I am always haunted by what 2 commentators said when I launched my maiden post on 30 January 2007. Linken Lim asked me to "keep your promise to reveal anything swept under the carpet and unmasking the sweepers" and Michael urged me "to keep true to your mission statement."

Let's say that these 4 months have been a dry-run and now is as good a time as any to do the right stuff.....looking under the carpet.

In reply to the 48 commentators in that maiden post I did appeal to them to let's put our shoulders together to the task. Over the months we have read in the MSM on whistle-blowers. I honestly do not like this term. It has a negative connotation like in snitching. I would rather we refer to our resources as PWC - people who cares.

Because we care, we want to uproot the stifling weeds and the life-sapping parasites to stem the haemorrhaging of public funds. As such, shouldn't we be asking questions like: Where is Daim with his billions; what happened to Halim Saad with his millions; where is Akhbar Khan; where is AP king, Azman and is MB Toyo demolishing Zakaria's Mansion?

Shouldn't Sports Minister Azalina tell us the whereabout of the RM700k architect's fees to "revonate" Brickendonbury, or whether anything else is hidden from DPM and the rakyat.

Shouldn't we depoliticize state institutions like the SEDCs, town/city councils who are invariably endowed with longer arms and deeper pockets.

Should we use the next General Election to RESTRUCTURE rather than to reform?

Shouldn't we demand swift accountability across the board from leaking pipes to leaky mouths?

Shouldn't we put an end to our elected political-sycophants' plundering and piratise-ing tax-payers money?

Why are we still tolerating a government that is forever giving excuses that even a vegetable is ashamed of?

Why are we putting people in government who have not learned from the past, not worrying about our future and unashamedly screwing up our present?

Why are we still tolerating MPs and State Assemblymen who dont show up when you need them because they say they are busy - as busy as a dog with two pricks. So busy that they wonder how leaks can happen instead of wandering around to look for "leaks" and "leads".


Shouldn't we also depoliticise religion. Religion teaches good values. We have failed in this area and failed miserably after 50 years . Just visit our National Zoo at Jl. Parliament and experience the stark difference between good values and desecrated values.

So People Who Cares....if you have something to whisper in my ears go to ktswee@hotmail.com

ZORRO SALUTES the SUN'S FAB FOUR

The Sun, the Edge and Off the Edge are must reads for me....daily, weekly and monthly respectively.

It has been my pleasure and a great thrill learning that my long-time beer-buddy together with his Sun-buddy Terence Fernendez won Certificate of Excellence for Public Service Journalism. It was a pleasure being introduced to Terence at the Australian Envoy's Media Nite do. I admire their doggedness, perseverance, fearlessness in the tackling of issues that few journalist choose to take.

Jacqueline Ann Surin I came to know when she was in the University of Malaya and had already then acquired a reputation as a debater and a person with deep convictions. I followed Jacq when she was with the Star and now look forward to her columns. This is her second award this year.

I have not met Danny, but will one of these days....maybe at the National Press Club.

To you Four, more power to you and may the force be with you.

Some background on SAPO and citations:

SOPA ANNOUNCES 2007 EDITORIAL
EXCELLENCE AWARD WINNERS

Hong Kong (May 23, 2007) - The Society of Publishers in Asia (SOPA) announced today the winners of its 2006 awards for Editorial Excellence. Winners were selected for 17 categories for English language media and Chinese language media. In its eighth year, the SOPA Editorial awards received a record high of 508 entries from leading publications across the region. The 93 judges comprised respected journalists, editors and academics from top national and regional media and top universities based in Asia.

"The bar of editorial excellence continues be pushed to new heights and the winners should feel proud of their outstanding achievement and contributions in the field of journalism," said Alan Lammin, SOPA Chairperson.

"We had a remarkably strong collection of winning entries this year, which shows that the dramatic increase in the overall number of submissions for SOPA Awards is being accompanied by a commensurate rise in overall quality," said SOPA Director of Judges David Plott, from the University of Hong Kong's Journalism and Media Studies C

Group B
Excellence in Public Service Journalism

Award : R Nadeswaran & Terrence Fernendez : The Sun (Low Cost Palace)
The Sun : Fresh, ambitious reporting that made an impact on political cronyism. A tenacious piece of investigative journalism in a country where it can be difficult to do this kind of reporting.

13. Excellence in Opinion Writing.

Group B
Award : The Sun (Surin's Opinion Series)
The Sun : Brave opinion writer. Jacqueline Ann Surin's essays examine the cracks in Malaysia's facade of moderation. Clearly, non- Muslims, ethnic minorities and women are facing new challenges to their liberties. Ms. Surin examines them in unstinting fashion, from a perspective that is quite personal and therefore very powerful.

5. Excellence in Feature Photography

Group B
Honorable Mention : Danny Lim: Off the Edge (Ronggeng Revolusioner

GOVERNMENT MUST HEED SYED SHAHRIR'S REQUEST!

This family used to live in the squatters that used to dot Puchong. When their home was razed, the father left a message with a neighbour that he was leaving Lisa and the four girls for good. This family rented a low-cost unit for RM400 per month but had to downgrade to another that cost RM350 per month. This single-mother earns RM500 as a cleaner with a cleaning contractor. All 4 girls are schooling. If she reports sick and do not have an MC, her pay is docked. Is it easy to juggle the remaining RM150 for food, transport, schooling? Some months, because of some emergencies, power is cut and the girls do their school work at the bottom of the airwell, a common area where electricity is provided.

Somebody last week made a revelation that the BN will again win hands-down the next General Election because all civil servants are happy. So happy that one department even volunteered to work Saturdays and Sundays. No, I am not grudging them this windfall. The lower grade civil servants deserve this long-overdue extra, They really deserve the pay-rise. If they are happy, they will vote BN.

On the other side of the coin, has the government given thought to the fact that majority of the electorate are employed by the private sector? So, the BN better brace themselves with this stark truth. They have to listen and take heed of the oft-repeated plea to raise the minimum wage of the private sector. Already some foreign maids are being paid more than RM400-RM500 and there are millions of Malaysians in the private sector who still earn below the poverty level.

The Ministry of Human Resources and the Cabinet must heed the call of MTUC President, the soft-speaking and incorruptible Syed Shahrir Syed Mohamud who is demanding RM900 as minimum wage plus RM300 as cost of living allowance for every private sector employee.


The Cabinet best pay heed to this request rather than the mundane request that Manchester United must play in Malaysia. The government cannot, I repeat, cannot ignore the impending MTUC memorandum that will be presented to the Prime Minister. Just a one-day-strike by the private sector will white-wash the Visit Malaysia Year and leave a distasteful flavour to the 50th Anniversary celebrations. Just one day!

The MTUC must stay the course. Don't say you might strike. Tell the government: We WILL lay down tools. Tuan Syed will never be bought unlike......

The government has taken care of their people but isn't Lisa and the thousands like Lisa, also Malaysians. Give these unfortunate Malaysians, young and old a fair chance to survive. We are fifty years old and we have not ratified this anomaly. Will the BN Government care. WE WAIT, WE WATCH.

WHAT NEXT?

WE HAD BOLEH-LAND. THEN WE GOT BLASTED WITH BODOH-LAND, AND NOW WE ARE FLOODED WITH BOCOR-LAND. WHAT LAND NEXT? GET TO WORK PROPHETS!

TAKE A GOOD REST SIR

BUT AS THE CAPTION SAYS: NO ONE CAN FORCE YOU TO GO QUIETLY!

Sir, as a senior citizen I can empathize with you. The work is never done and to leave it undone is just isn't in our blood. However, Tun there comes a time when we need to just sit back, re-energize, recharge, enjoy the family and just shoot the breeze. Do that and when you come back, you'll still be needed, if not to probe, at least to encourage. Cape diem, sir. And as a parting shot: Sir, boleh kah, sometimes listen to your children when they ask you to slow down or take it easy....one day at a time.

BEWARE THESE WOLVES IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING.

THIS POSTING IS DEDICATED TO JUNE, DAPHNE, LI TSIN AND OTHER FEMALE BLOGGERS WHO ARE BEING HARASSED, OR WILL BE TARGETED IN FUTURE.

He : Can I buy you a drink?
She : Actually, I'd rather have the money.

He : I am a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
She : I am a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

He : Hi, didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
She : Must have been once. I never make the mistake twice.

He : How did you get to be so beautiful?
She : I must have been given our share.

He : Will you go out with me this Saturday?
She : Sorry, I am having a headache this weekend.

He : Go, don't be shy. Ask me out.
She : OK, Get out.

He : Can I have your name?
She : Why? Don't you have one?

He : Your face must have turned a few heads.
She : And your face must have turned a few stomachs.

He : I think I could make you very happy?
She : Why? Are you leaving?

He : What would you say if I asked you to marry me.
She : Nothing. I can't laugh and talk at the same time.

He : Shall we go for a movie?
She : I have already seen it.

He : Where have you been all my life?
She : Hiding from people like you.

He : Haven't I seen you some place before?
She : Yes. That is why I don't go there anymore.

He : Is this seat empty?
She : Yes and this one will be empty if you sit down.

He : So, what do you do for a living?
She : I am a female impersonator.

He : Hey babe, what's your name?
She : DO NOT ENTER.

He : Your body is like a temple.
She : Sorry, there are no services today.

He : If I could see you naked, I'd die.
She : If I see you naked I would probably die laughing.

ZAM HEADING FOR FIJI NOW

REMEMBER THIS MOST POPULAR ESS-LUBANG? HE IS EVERY BLOGGERS FAVORITE SON. HE TRAVELS ROUND THE WORLD TO FIND OUT HOW TO BLOCK BLOGS. THE LAST BOO-BOO WAS WHEN HE TRIED TO TEACH BBC HOW TO DO THEIR JOB WHEN HE CANT TEACH HIS PEOPLE HOW TO SAY NO: BOSS SAYS WE CANNOT FEATURE YOU IN THIS PROGRAM....INSTEAD HIS STAFF SAYS THAT THE PROGRAM IS POSTPONED. BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN SO STUPIDLY STUPID THE BIG BOYS WANT HIM TO GO TO FIJI TO LEARN HOW TO LIE PROFESSIONALLY AND NOT BE AN UNPROFESSIONAL LIAR.
FIJI IS IN HIS SIGHTS BECAUSE:

Fiji's war on bloggers

• Saved
  
  

May 11, 2007 - 4:46PM

The military in Fiji is moving to shut down access to anti-government weblogs after unsuccessful attempts to find those responsible for the sites.

Senior military commander Colonel Pita Driti has told Pacific Radio that access to the sites would be closed down this afternoon.

Internet technology in Fiji is provided through only one provider, Fiji International Telecommunications Limited (FINTEL).

A FINTEL spokesman confirmed he had met with members of the the interim administration this morning and been asked to shut off access to the weblogs.

He said they asked that access be cut off to the blog for "national security" reasons.

"They asked us to address a few things. We have given them some options to consider, because we can't just go into the web and stop access. It would be unfair to the general public," the spokesman said.

"We will address the blog sites, but they need to direct us about what we are to do. We can't just go in and stop anything and everything. It must be specific," he said.

Asked whether FINTEL would block access to the blogspot.com website, where most of the anti-government sites are hosted, he said the company may have little choice.

"If the directive is to block, then we have no other option but to comply. ... we are seeking authorisation on that from our administration," he said.

He said any moves to cut-off access to the blogspot website would not happen by this afternoon.

Weblogs in Fiji have become a popular way for people to speak out about the government led by military chief Frank Bainimarama, who seized power on December 5 last year in a coup.

Sites including Intelligentsiya, Resist Frank's Coup and Discombobulated Bubu, have broken stories that have embarrassed the interim government.

In March Fiji military spokesman Neumi Leweni said efforts were underway to establish exactly who was producing material for Intelligentsiya.

The military has since said it could not determine who was publishing the information.

The United States has accused interim government in Fiji of trying to censor television news broadcasts and said the military had "detained, interrogated, and abused" people who wrote letters to the media opposing the coup.

"On a radio talk show on December 22, Bainimarama stated that if pro-democracy activists did not shut their mouth, the military would shut it for them," the US report said.

Major Leweni did not immediately respond to phone calls this afternoon.

AAP

AUNTY KUAN'S NIGHT

MU brudders and sistas, this is Aunty Kuan, die-hard, hardcore, tru-blue MU moll. I bought her lunch today and she reminded me about tonight's extravganza. Aunty Kuan, has been in and out of hospital and has not been well, but when I met her this morning she beamed when she talked about tonight. I took this picture of her this morning. Her late husband Mr. "Bulldog" Kuan (not the motor-racer but a discipline master at St. Paul's Seremban) was my spiritual-mate (if you get my drift). I miss him dearly....less one spiritual kaki. However until she became ill, Aunty Kuan packed a mean "bottoms-up" kaki......"Bernard, give it straight, no watering it down, down the hatch!" still rings in my ear. I cannot be with her but I promised that I will "down the hatch" for her after the Bloggers United Meeting at LakeView Club tonight. OK you mad MU mob out there, send Aunty Kwan your MU mate a Get Well Greeting over the weekemd OK? Glory, Glory Man United.

OVERCAST SKIES AND ONE GUIDING LIGHT.

REFLECTIONS ON A WEEK THAT WAS

This week has been a trying week for those of us who pursue peace and harmony in this our country: Consider these: (parenthesis mine)

Tun Mahatir was hospitalized for breathing difficulties, (Thank God, he is mending....to fight another day? Go easy Tun, please)

Pak Lah had a full physical after a fainting spell. However it was his physician and not MB of S who said that semua-nya ok. (Yes PM Sir, besides the heat and exhaustion deep down I know you have been stressed by the your two 'bocor' boys and the real leaks in Putra Jaya and Parliament House. Go easy dear Pak Lah, please)

Minister Fu a k's boys raided MPH and confiscated (not borrowed, not bought, but confiscated -so bangsat lah!) "May 13" presumably to trawl for any mis-steps that might endanger our fragile race-religion fabric, already always eroded by politicians and misguided religious zealots.(A prerequisite for election-aspirants should be his/her ability to do what the electorate wants them to do and ask permission before they speak....we vote for them to do a job....we did not vote for them to think for us. Just shut up and do what we tell you to do. Simple mah? So easy and go easy on the truth about May 13, please.)

PWD Sam has predicted that if the roof is not reconstructed, the roof will fall and hit our erected YBs and not the other way around!!!! (now, now, that will be a great loss, yes? but also can be a welcome change, no? Go easy on the calculations Mr. Value....and watch the tenders lining up....or is it too urgent to call for tenders....better you use the same guy and this time dont pay him.....that will save our money....brilliant idea.....but you can use it, no charge.) He also said that water-proofing is necessary. Why wasn't it done in 2005. Water-proofing is not a new innovation. (May be water-proofing was paid for but not done, ah ha!......and ACA, get off your butt, you cannot bust criminals by sitting in your office, lah)

The Cabinet orchestrated our version of Russian Roulette and the bullet was given to the Right Honorable Minister of Womanly Affairs to kow-tim the bocor buggers. (This is discrimination,not even subtle. Why can't the male dominated cabinet do the obvious? Boys will be boys mah....let her do the dirty work....boys, lets go for our leak....while she patches the two leaks....Zam, you first. Go easy boys, you just let off a whiff of sexism.)

AH, BUT THERE WAS A BEAM OF HOPE MID-WEEK.

The overcast was fortunately blessed with a beam of hope and some rays of sunshine . My man for next Prime Minister Raja Dr. Nazrin Shah took as his bride, the ravishingly stunning Zara Salim. He made history (and you bet, there will be many more firsts from him) by not accepting state subsidy for his wedding and urged all well-wishers to donate to the poor instead of putting out adverts in the MSM. WE SALUTE YOU FOR YOUR MANGNANIMITY, so rare these days.

CONGRATULATIONS to Duli Yang Teramat Mulia Raja Puan Besar Perak Darul Ridzwan Tuanku Zara Salim, on your being bestowed this title and Perak's highest award, the Darjah Kerabat Seri Paduka Sultan Azlan Shah Perak Yang Dihormati.

Malaysians in general and us Perakians ask for God's Bountiful Blessings on you both. SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

Toothless Cabinet

CROCODILE TEARS? SHARIZAT NEED TO HAVE MORE MUSCLES.

Hantu flew in with some shattering news that the two bocor recalcitrants made a formal public apology to all women. Did they apologise personally to MP of Batu Gajah? So Sharizat thinks that she has done her job as assigned by Cabinet. Somebody said that if these two ever attend Parliament in its next session the lady minister would seal their mouths with sanitary pads. Wicked but appropriate, the source said.

The Cabinet sits back and said, case close. No way! In the first place, you abdicated your duty by passing the buck to the lady minister. And now the two bocor nits get away with just an apology. We have numerous cases of murderers saying to family of those they murdered, "I'm sorry"....as though that would bring the victim back to life. Sorry is such a cheap word today. If the cabinet had had what it takes to do a man's job, they would have sacked both the MPs and then hurray we will have 2 buy-election and millions would be seeing its merry way to those two constituencies. Not a bad idea, on hind-sight .

Lady, you suck, to put it very midly.....women wont be proud of you if that is all you managed....just an apology. Did you notice them snigger when they left your office? Hantu, saw.

And the cabinet....time you got new sets of dentures from you know who, what? Shylock would have done a better job....pound of flesh with the blood too. But this is Malaysia. This is how we operate. To another fifty years of deceit, chicanery and tidak apa.

Prickly, so what?

Hantu just flew in at 2.22am Thursday, and dropped this wasabe bombshell, Pak Lay- Hsien Loon's durian party cost RM26k and it had to be flown in from Penang, 200 bigi according to Kwong Wah Jit Poh. Sometimes I just cannot rely on Hantu......because of his fetish about sushi and wasabe. Somebody help please.

KL CABBIE CALLS THESE TWO "BINATANG"

For those of you who missed your copy of the Sun, here is a letter which would never see print in either the NST or the Star:

Captioned: No cab ride for crude MPs.
A taxi driver whose cab I had taken recently spoke for most of us, expressing disgust at the sexist remarks made by two MPs in Parliament. He was furious calling the MPs concerned kurang ajar, kurang adab, kurang adat, not fit even to be taxi drivers to welcome tourists of both sexes to Malaysia.

He asked, what about th wives, mothers, sisters, daughters and other female relatives of the families of these MPs. Don't they too have menses like the Opposition MP from Batu Gajah?

His tirade went on and on. Finally he said that although these "orang besar, yang berhomat" are unlikely to be his customers because they have chauffeur driven limos, he would never take these "binatang" if they should ever flag down his cab.

Sit Hin Kin
Kuala Lumpur

..............and this from a cabbie......let's see what the masters of our destinies, the Cabinet, will decide. Let's hear how they are going to rid Parliament of cockroaches, rats, and anything abhorrent. Its this rodent family that is insidiously biting into the fabric of our society. But can the Cabinet do the exterminator job? I dont hope for much so lets all kneel and say a prayer for them decision makers.

GOOFER OF THE WEEK

What's the point of being well-read when one still cannot make a decisive, intelligent statement?

Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak was asked to comment about the 'Bocor" MPs, loud-mouth wind-bag Bung Mokhtar and the one-eyed, timber-thief whacko Md. Said. He said it was up to Parliament. Brings to mind an incident when a a parent came to me in school and asked me to punish his son. On probing I learnt that the kid called the sister a bitch and the father wanted me the punish his son. I sent the parent off with this simple question, "Mister X, who is the father? I think it is you. Go act like a father." So it depends on parliament....always passing the buck.

Pressed further as to whether it was proper for MPs make such remarks, amidst stutters he said: [parenthesis mine] "I dont want to pass judgment on what they said. They said it in a very .....(stutter and indecision)....it was not supposed to be taken seriously (were you there and did you see the body language on the YouTube.....Datin Seri Rosmah.....did you hear that....tsk tsk) I think if you take it with a sense of humour, (which sane man amongst us will take as humour, our mothers, our wives, and our daughters menstrual cycle...and we dont publicy talk about such private matters!.....where then is our self-respect?).....then.....But of course people are making a meal out of this issue. (It is not an issue, it is an attack on our women's tissues...and making a meal, just like Malaysians are having a dinner party over the Mongolian lass. This old heart can/t take all this travesty anymore so I will dedicate a verse of this song from Chocolate Genius "Half a Man" album, which it is said knocked Dick Cheney to his knees and shot his hunting buddy:

"Half a Man" is the money song. A rootsy ear-grabber. Think of The Wallflowers. Now, think of The Wallflowers slapped around, spit on, penniless and doused in really cheap beer.

Save yourself
Me, I'll be fine
And save your breath
Stay away from mine

(you're giving me a bad hang-over)

PEOPLE WHO LIKE MEE REBUS CAN'T BE ALL THAT BAD.

THOSE EVIL BLOGGERS. (OR NOT.)

By Kashminder Singh, Editor, SURF! *

“It is not the fact of liberty but the way in which liberty is exrcised that ultimately determines whether liberty itself survives,” – Dorthy Thomson – notable American journalist 1893-1961

The Internet has been a great leveler. On the Web, website of a small company can be as professional or even better than that of huge firms.

Over the last few years, that same level playing field has reached the area of human discourse. Individuals have created and occupied space in the are previously the sole domain of traditional media. Through the use of medium like blogs and related new media tools, they have become an increasingly important voice in society.

In tandem with this rise in profile, blogging has understandably become an emotional issue and brought critics and supporters out in force.

However, no one disputes one fact. Blogging or more accurately, the “user generated content” phenomenon is not going to go away. And the sooner everyone understands this, the better.

Those who seek to stem the tide do not understand the medium. There have been calls, for example, to register and ‘censor’ blogs. But that will simply drive blogs underground. Never mind, the same people say. We’ll get our ‘IT People’ to track them down. Easier said than done. Ever wondered why those powerful US agencies can’t track down the terrorist websites out there?

So let’s be straight and direct. It won’t be possible to control, block or track bloggers. But that’s not the point. There should be no reason really to even consider that.

What is needed is to understand the phenomenon and seek to engage rather than confront. Bloggers are not aliens. They are Malaysians and like any other grouping; they are a microcosm of our society.

Sure there are some bad ones out there, just like there are bad ones in the streets. But I am not referring to the bloggers that are being knocked so often. I’m talking about the blogger who set up a site to discuss the best places to visit prostitutes in KL, or the person that gives, in very graphic and detailed language, instruction on how to prepare and take drugs. Those are the kind of blogs we should be fighting against.

The other bloggers and especially the blogger people in high places seem to be afraid of, have actually added much needed quality and breath to the current discourse taking place in Malaysian society. By the way, blogging is not an isolated trend. It’s simply the latest manifestation of human activism that we’ve seen over the last quarter century and which had earlier seen the rise of NGOs and other personal initiatives.

So listening to them might be a better thing to do than fighting them.

Bloggers are the voice of the people. The only difference is that this medium has given them much more power.

Power they certainly have but I don’t see tham as misusing that power. Most bloggers are just decent people trying to share their opinions and ideas. In their own way, they’re helping to make our Malaysia better.

Of course, like any other intense consultations and especially when there is a clash of differing opinions, some of their postings are goint to hurt. But that is not because their postings are hurtful but because the subject is painful.

On their side, bloggers will hve to treasure and protect the space they’ve created. The words of Dorothy Thomson holds true to this day. The power to determine their future participation in Malaysian civil society lies in their own hands.

If, God forbid, their baser nature comes to the fore I’m confident that their influence on its own wane and ultimately wither.

But I’m betting it won’t happen. These are decent and well meaning Malaysians we’re talking about here. After all, people who like Mee Rebus can’t be all that bad.

* Permission was sought and approval was given to reproduce this editorial piece.

This April issue is Surf’s 4^th and it retails at RM9.

No leaks Pak Lah, its a gaping hole lah.

I awoke to Mothers' Day and prepared myself for a glorious Sunday, looking forward to a late breakfast with Mrs Zorro. Pre-breakfast is always a pipeful first, and piping hot local kopi, and surfing the Blogs. But this morning when I came to the notebook, on top of it was the Sunday Times. Usually the Star (for I have broken off my 50 year love-affair with NST) is on the lanai table. It was Mrs Zorro's way of saying the delivery boy brought in the wrong paper. However it was problably destined that way this day. PM's quip: We are on a ship. If it leaks, we sink! Nothing prophetic sir. There are no leaks, its just one big gaping hole, captain sir. However in any sinking ship, the first to leave the ship would be the rats, then us if there are sufficient non-leaking life boats, and last, by heroic tradition, the captain. Kapitan, aye aye sir, the leaks are not because of poor maintenance, which normally is the case in our country, the big hole was gnawed by the rats you have in your ship.....2 rats in particular, but that later on in this posting.

Our PM further volunteered in his speech at the MIC's 16th General Assembly: Race and religion is not an excuse to think and act blindly. I wonder if he was referring to the Islamic Abducting Agency or the Shariah/Judiciary who lately seems to be targeting our Indian Community. PM is very unpredictable. Did he say these because, not a single MIC male or female came out in defense of their kindred in these troubled times?

I doubt you acted blindly when you said that had other prior pressing matters to attend to and therefore the Building Bridges conference should be postponed because you want to attend. That would be inconveniencing a host of international academics, wont it? I hope your pressing matter has nothing to do with damage control over some nasi kandar outlet overseas.What other pressing matters sir? You already vowed that the economy is vibrant, BN has won all 5 buy-elections and the Mat Rempits have not killed anyone this week and SIL is effectively and efficiently holding the fort! CAPE DIEM,captain of SSMalaysia, seize the day. The photo on Prime News page 7 tells a moving, impactful story...so much heart, so much soul, so much unity in diversity. What would those seven Malaysians think of their leader, the architect of Islam Hadhari.

Hantu, perched on my shoulder, whispered: Take it easy, Zorro, maybe his pressing matter is that he wants to tackle those two rats that created the hole and have jumped ship. That makes sense. But I will give him the benefit of the doubt. Too many pressing matters can cause drowziness and can cause chronic inertia. Yes captain sir, your two delinquent rats, the "genetically defective" (so said one of my commentators Vooooney) oaf with the name of Bung something, and the optically diseased timber-thief from Jasin, must be caged and exhibited to our millions of women in Malaysia. Beats me you have not done anything to them. Have they got you in their grip on u-know-where. You seem so helpless. Of course the Speaker, the near-senile MB of Perak is oratorically impotent and half the time lost in his own thoughts. Maybe your'e waiting for a signal. Well here it is. A commentator on my blog, Ben, asked me to lead a peaceful demo, like a poll. Fact is I am not tech savy enough to do this. No this is a stupid excuse of mine. I have procrastinated....the Malay Male had already volunteered to teach me this technique. But time is of the essence....can I call on the Malay Male and Walski of myAsylum to do this for me in anticipation of the coming-soon Fathers Day? Poll Question: Sould these two be sacked?
Captain, sir, just to help you a bit, read Malaysian Unplug on what people think of these two creeps of yours.(May 12)

Like I said, blogs is part of pre-breakfast. I surfed into Rocky and low and behold, these people, Ali Rustam, Rahman Thambi Chik (the guy of the 14 year old girl saga), Mat Tyson (who couldn't read airport signages or is it custom's declaration?), Aziz Shamsuddin, Noraini Ahmad (some princess, yess?) Sabahan Kamal and Rizal Merican Neena Merican, all want Maybank to stick to their guns, despite the captain of our ship's directive to do otherwise. DO I SMELL A MUTINY. I dont know. At this stage we have to rely on my expert blogger buddies to enlighten us: AM Ubaidullah, Aisehman, AJK, the Scribe, Haris Ibrahim of People's Parliament, Marina Mahatir of Rantings MM, Datuk Ron of Cyber Prince, Shar 101 of OBE, Zaharin of Sang Kelembai, Husin Lempayang, A Voice, and Big Dog and Penarik Becha, please give us your take on this. Open our eyes on this as PM did say that Religion and Race is not an excuse to think and act blindly.

I am on the roll today. Also reported that Malaysian have got their work cut out for them when it comes to making the National Unity and Integration Action Plan happen. All these thanks to the effort of Dr. Maximus and his team. It is a beautifully thought-out strategy. And it is strategically also aimed at the young, so says Education Minister. Well youngsters learn from their elders. Mark my words this wont work because you have two members of Parliament who are no examples for our young and then you have Petronas, who does not believe in integration of the races in its employment policy. Go read Malaysian Unplug, 10 May.

Parting shot on this Mothers' Day from one of my blog-buddy from Penang Katak Tak Nak: "I would like to wish the mothers of the 2 delinquent MPs Happy Mothers' Day. Dont blame yourselves for having children like them. Maybe they have developed LEAKS in their heads."

Touche che gu.

UMNO IDOLS

PICS COURTESY OF SHIEH & MOB'S CRIB

The way some people turn out, have coined the phrase "the sins of the father". WheRE these two low-lives are concerned, we cannot blame their fathers. For all you know, their fathers were hard-working, clean, honest people. These two specimens demean our parliament probably got where they are through stealth, cunning, crawling, ass-licking, all modern UMNO ways to move around and up. I never said I dont like our PM, I just said that he has awakened but have not got out of bed yet. Proof? He is letting these two walas make a mockery of the government and he couldn't do anything whilst slill in bed. Pak Lah, if you do not clean up your act ( and one of the things you got to do is to drop these two dead-wood from your camp.....you will have to accept what will happen in the next GE.....learn from Ijok....listen to the undertones. If you still keep these two then "the sins of the father" (you) fits.

The loud-mouth from the interior cant believe that he is allowed to wear a suit to look civilised. It is very difficult to change when you still have this tribe mentality. Putting on western apparel dont make you look cultured. What makes you cultured is what comes out from your mouth and from the time you stepped into Parliament, you have mouthed filth that we associate with imbeciles .....the people of his constituent must be sloshed with tuak when they voted for this critter. Leak? If not for the leak-cycle you might not be around......and this is the type of base insult you are flinging at your mother(?), sister(s), daughter(s) and all women. Hey Bung or whatever you call yourself....you aint no MAN...you are an insult to us men. Go slither back to the jungle where you will be more comfortable with your kind. And take along with you, your close one eye robber friend. Notice how these two gets featured together....who was it that said that misery always find their soul-mate? Thick as thieves? Birds....no crows or a feather flock together? Everytime I see this monkey in formal western wear, I just laugh at the incongruity....the face, the body, and the suit covering this multitude of sin, vermins, filth. And these two hobos were confered Datuks....how cheap can you get. These datukship thing has lost its prestige and how can those who confer these titles sit back and do nothing.....these two insult the title you gave them thus insulting you.....even if they are paid for. Anyway, you two continue to have your day, but when Pak Lah gets out of bed, then your days are numbered. If Pak Lah dont get you KJ will. That one my man lah....he can get many THINGS done...and his way too. So enjoy until the day when we will see the stain on your pants caused by the LEAK.

SPOILT-SPORTS TROIKA

NO TO MU?
AFC chief Mohamed bin Hamman told Minister of Youth and Sports to stop the MU invitation as it will take the thunder out of the Asian Cup.

I don't remember any Asian Cup. I do remember our Malaysia Cup years ago. I can recall Burnley Cup and then the President Cup, but Asian Cup? What is this Asian Cup anyway....something to do with pony riding or desert-rat race? Anyway, Hamman, you can keep your Asian Cup but don't interfere with Malaysian Football, it already being in deep, deep fertilizers.

And AFC Hamman, just stick to football-speak and not dabble with "colonial way of thinking". Football columnist Bob Holmes,adequately hit him below the belt when he said (to Hamman): Strikes me if anyone has a "colonial way of thinking" it is the AFC and FIFA." You Hamman is learning very fast, coming to KL so often to check on the AFC office....you are getting into the grove of our popular "foot in mouth" trend, branded by many of our cheap publicity-seeking politicians.

But like all with no scrotal jumption, the FAM, now-jaded Minister of Sports and loud-mouth-women-bashing Minister of Tourism, kow-towed and gave in to the wishes of a foreigner. It was a spark of an idea, MU invitation being the brainchild of the Adnan to celebrate VMY2007 and our 50th Merdeka Anniversary. But like a spark it didn't ignite into a blazing fire. Adnan, capitulated in favor of Hamman. Come on, you two, you are elected Ministers and Cabinet Ministers. You both got cowed by nomad from a wee country. He ain't even a sultan lah!

Malaysian want to see MU. Only AFC and probably "theres money to be made" FAM want to watch the Asian Cup (yeah, I just learnt it is a football regional fair). It is like asking us to choose a lunch-date between BradPitt/Angeline Jolie and our hot-air Bung Mokhtar from Kinabatangan/Azlina. Get real Hamman, if entry was free you wouldn't fill our stadiums even if you throw in a pre-match buffet dinner, complete with personal hand-shake from Mawi. We Malaysian football fans are a discerning lot. Don't force HPS (half-past-six, is it?) events on us, when we can pay and watch a 6-star extravaganza complete with its attending razmataz. razzle and dazzle.

From your position, you should be offering solutions rather than make arbitrary decisions for us Malaysians. Who are you? Football can survive without you or AFC. Think global & (to use your own words) do not indulge in colonial way of thinking. Your interference reminds me of the oft-told mid-east story of the scorpion and the frog crossing a river.

So Azlina, floor this guy with one of your favorite taw-kwan-do moves. As for TA, if you can't see this project thru, don't start it. Go remedy the medical-tourism fiasco. They need your mouth to mouth resuscitation expertise.

FOOTBALL FANS AND MU FANS STAND UP WILL YA?

SILENCE OF THE GOAT.

TOMORROW WILL BE ONE WEEK SINCE JJ TOOK A SWIPE AT AN INDIAN MALAYSIAN CITIZEN. A COMMENTER, MADELISM HAS TRIED EVERYTHING TO GET EVIDENCE, BUT TO NO AVAIL. I SUGGESTED THAT MAYBE THE TAIKOR OF OUR MALAYSIAN INDIANS IS KEEPING SOMETHING CLOSE TO HIS CHEST, FOR CABINET-COMRADESHIP CYA PURPOSE. I HOPE THIS LITTLE STORY WILL BREAK HIS SILENCE.....JUST A TRY.

An Indian man died and went to heaven. When he arrived at the heaven Gate
the Keeper of the Gate (Tour Master) said, "Come on in. I'll show you around. You'll like it here."

Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere? There were
grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and clocks in every corner.

It appeared that heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse.
Surprised at how heaven looked, the man asked, " What's the deal?
Why are all these clocks here in heaven?" The Keeper replied, "The clocks keep
track of things on earth. There is one clock for each person.

Every time the person on earth tells a lie, his clock moves one minute."

"For instance, this clock is for Aru, the used car salesman. If you watch it
closely, it will move.

"Click" The minute hand on Aru's clock moved one minute. "Click" It moved
another minute." Aru must be into closing a customer right now," said the Tour Master, "The minute hand on his clock moves all day."

The man and the Tourism guy continued walking. Soon, they came to a clock with
cobwebs on the minute hand. "Whose clock is this?" asked the man. That
clock belongs to the Widow Achi. She is one of the finest, God-fearing,
people on earth. I bet her clock hasn't moved in a years."

They continued walking and touring heaven. The man enjoyed watching the
clocks of all his friends. When the tour was finished, the man said, "I've
seen everyone's clock but Mr.Samy Vellu's. Where is his clock?

The Tour Master/Gate Keeper smiled, "Just look up. We use his clock as a ceiling fan."

ANYTHING TO SAY SIR?

ZAM, THE ONE-MAN PR FARCE

THE JURY HAS UNANIMOUSLY FOUND YOU GUILTY OF SHOOTING YOUR MOUTH. NEXT TIME PUT BRAIN IN GEAR BEFORE YOU ENGAGE MOUTH TO MAKE THOSE INFANTILE STATEMENTS. BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN INCORRIGIBLE, THE COURT CONDEMNS YOU TO THE MEXICAN CHAMBER. WE HOPE THIS TREATMENT WILL DETOX YOU OF ALL THE TOXINS YOU HAVE ACCUMULATED SINCE TAKING OVER THE MINISTRY OF INFORMATION.
OUTSIDE THE CHAMBER, YOU WILL READ A MESSAGE FOR YOU WHEN YOU COMPLETE THE FIRST STAGE OF THIS CLEANSING PROGRAM: THE MESSAGE WILL READ:
before this treatment we found that your fart seems to have more substance than what you say. We hope this treatment will bring about the reverse. If this treatment fails we will add more agents around the room. We assure you we have a pantheon of willing donors.

THAT'S MY MAN FOR PM.

WEDDING BELLS!

Breaking News from Hantu my wise ole owl companion, has it that the MAN I hoped would come forward to offer himself as the next Prime Minister of Malaysia, will tie the knot come 17 May and his consort will be proclaimed the Raja Puan Besar of Perak on 18 May.

As a Perak-born Malaysian from Taiping I am very happy for my Raja Muda.

DYTM Raja Nazrin Shah, bloggers wish you and your intended long life, boundless happiness....but we will continue to pursue you to take up the mantle and be our next Prime Minister. We Salute You.

THIS IS BLOGGING BY CONVICTION.

ZORRO WELCOMES SHAR 101 (Old Blue Eyes) INTO THIS ALLIANCE OF BLOGGERS.

For many months and countless urgings, friendly coaxing and a few hostile threats Shar101, long time blog commentator who has always given his best unbiased bits to blogs, has chosen World Press Freedom Day to unfold his blog. Be prepared for some excellent, thought-provoking, off-the-track (somethimes?), left, right, centre sermons.....but at the end you will like Shar101 for what he is - honest to the core.Welcome again buddy.

SAMY VELU IF YOU DON'T TRASH HIM WHO WILL?

JAMALUDIN JARJIS, MINISTER OF SCIENCE, TECHNOLOGY &INNOVATION SAID WHILST IN THE US: The Indians were brought into Malaya as "buruh kasar". He applied the icing by saying that fair-skinned Indians are of higher class than the lower class dark-skinned Indians..

SOMEBODY, PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE BADAWI BOYS?

MR. SAMY VELU, CHAMPION OF MY INDIAN BROTHERS, OVER TO YOU....WE ARE WATCHING. IF YOU DO NOT DO SOMETHING OF CONSEQUENCE, YOU ARE WHAT EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU TO BE: JUST A BIG MOUTH, ALL SOUND AND FURY, SIGNIFYING NOTHING. SURELY, YOU CANNOT SAY THIS IS AN ACT OF GOD!

Read more in Malaysia Unplugged and Malaysiakini.

WORLD PRESS FREEDOM DAY 2007

Today, Norila Daud, President, Union of Journalist, made my day. It is more special coming from her as President of NUJ. She asked the government to acknowledge the existence of internet citizens or blogging as a new media for disseminating information. Bernama reported her as saying: "The usage of the internet and the concept of the uncensored "borderless world" have made information more easily accessible to anyone. As such, abuses committed by public officials can be immediately exposed on the internet." She continued: "This is in line with the Governments mission in ensuring greater accountability and transparency, as well as improve the delivery system". Appropriately succinct, this declaration on this auspicious day, is loud and clear.

Blogging is the latest phenomena. We need to treasure this new - found avenue to communicate with each other from every corner of the earth. We need to preserve the sanctity of what freedom of the press entails. We cannot use it to satisfy our personal, sometimes selfish, agenda. We need to be guarded at all times, because the whole world reads our enunciated thoughts. This is a sacred responsibility. Telling the truth. "I will defend to the death, his right to say what he wants to say." This has become a much-bandied-about cliche that has lost its true meaning over the years, because it is used to cover a multitude of sins. Are we saying that we will defend a person who maligns sans facts and figures. Let's not stretch freedom of speech beyond what it is meant to be. Stretch a rubber-band too much it loses its elasticity and its intended use. I will tell a person to shut up if he has nothing positive to contribute.

When we blog, it must be done respecting the reader and our audience. When we abdicate this responsibility, we lose our self-respect. And there is nothing much to respect of a person who crosses this line. And if somebody tells me that I have no self-respect, that would be the biggest truth that I have to live with or change to redeem my self-respect.

Blogging is a tool. How we use it depends on what we want to achieve. I can use it to disseminate information or I can use it to slander another person. If you want to say that that guy is a full-blooded s.o.b. , dont do it on your blog or somebody else's blog. Email your private thoughts to him. There are many unwritten rules on propriety that we have to observe as mature, thinking bloggers. People judge us for what we are by what we say, how we say it, where we say it. Let us not use blogs to exhibit our deep-seated hatred or aversion for any person, place or thing. Let us not use blogs to spew invectives and expletives. Let us not use blogs to spread dissension amongst bloggers. It is the responsibility of all blog owners to censure or censor postings that have the stench of racism, discrimination, or sedition. On this World Press Freedom day, let us bloggers resolve to blog as professionals and not as purveyors of untruths.

DO IT NOW! PM GROWLS!

Please scroll down.......for text.


Pic. 1 (from top down)

The Spanking New Court Complex at Jalan

Duta where Justice is seen to be done.

Pic. 2

A hole in the ceiling of Court 6 gents wash

Room, It is directly over the urinals.

Pic. 3

PM wondering if the hole is Sam’s innovative

fire-escape. Minister of Defence prefers it for

covert filming of anti-government elements.

Pic. 4

Aesthetics OK. Still negotiating for best

commission before purchase of hand

detergents. So wait, ok?

Pic. 5

Corridor outside Court 6. No ashtrays but

evidence of disciplined smokers; stubs

congregate religiously.

Pic. 6

Only court employees can part inside the

court complex. They sure have a loose

interpretation of considerate parking.

Three weeks ago, operations at the Immigration Department at Putra Jaya came to a stand-still when a pipe burst.

Ending last week, at the Entrepreneurial Development and Cooperative Ministry, a ceiling collapsed in a multi-purpose hallcausing a water pipe to drop and burst, creating another havoc.

Yesterday, a ceiling at the Jalan Duta Court Complex came crashing down.

It was reported that the Prime Minister said: "I feel angry. I feel ashamed. What the hell is this? Its so new and such a thing happened. Something must have gone wrong somewhere. We need to know. I can't be jumping all over the place."

Pak Lah orders immediate inspection of govrnment buildings. Meanwhile The Works Minister will have to go scape-goat hunting.

But like all things over in this land, a cool wind will blow over and we will live happily ever after. No?