Sunday, 18 August 2013
Dithering
Been feeling really moody lately.
Lie on my bed, stare at the ceiling
Thinking about stuff I shouldn't think about
I'm standing at the next major crossroads of my life
But I keep looking back at the route that I've taken
Looking back at all the wrong turns
Looking at my younger self commit the mistakes
That have etched themselves into my memory
And since life is an uphill climb
you can see downhill really clearly
Every
Single
Damn
Thing
I've always taken the "other" road
My route takes me away from the people around me
Now, it seems, I have walked away again
Yet again
It's difficult to see what's ahead
A new island awaits me, it seems
At least for the next few years
Having been away for almost 2
I can't help but laugh cynically at myself
The way I complained in Beijing
The way I missed Singapore
The food
The company
The air
The familiarity
I am 25
Going on 26
Prof Tam is right.
I'm zigzagging.
I thought I had a clear goal in life when I was 18.
But the harsh reality...
I've gotten rusty.
Reading scientific papers again after 2 years of hiatus
Really gives me a headache
As Ms. Lai would say
I can hear the gear cogs creaking noisily in your head
It doesn't help that genomics is so new
The explanations tend to be very technical
But at least it is starting to make some sense
wish that I was never brought into this place
signing off @ 17:49
