kepoh

finally...final exam ended...
i did badly for the first paper itself...im afraid im going to lose smthg i try hard to get it at the beginning...
sorry dad n mum...

since i dun wanna start complaining over stuffs here...
lets talk smthg else...
apart frm this..nw that im free...i gone through my friends' blog...
smtimes reading blog feels warm u know...
u get to know whats going on with your friends' life...
feel that actually we do care bout hw hav they been...hw r they going on...
interested with their happiness or sadness...
u might consider this as "ke poh" too...
haha~

sometimes i really dunno what i want...

变

人
说变就变
有时候真的觉得很恐怖
。。。
别说分手了的情女
连朋友都会这样
算了啦
也不论到我来选
。。。

Chinese Culture Week

This is another mega event in UTAR...
working towards it wasnt an easy job...
in between there are many huge problems but smhw we manage to handle them...
though there are alot of complaints and improvements to be done...
i believe our committees have done a good job in making the event a successful one with crowd of over 2000 ppl...
i've learned alot through this event...
here are some of the photos to be shared:

the organizing committees

opening ceremony of CCW

few of the top 10 UTAR karaoke singing competition winners performing for the opening ceremony

the backdrop for Chinese Cultural Night
harwork of the decoration team

the 4 mascots of the night

nice?? the cake for the celebration of Dr.Teh's birthday (Vice president of UTAR)

handmade huge tanglung

lion dance performance

wushu performance

group singing of 手牵手

hehe...we succeeded to invite "pin guan" to our event

our prepared bodyguards...cool huh?

the crowd~

big thanks to first aid gang who support us!

Chinese Culture Week is an event organized by Chinese Language Society...It comprises of a 3 day activities...Chinese Cultural Night is the closing ceremony of the week...During CCN we have got food carnival going on selling food...few stalls promoting chinese culture: playing games with tang yuan...cai deng mi...wayang kulit (chinese)....and others...
we have got stage performance...and also a big handmade tanglung is built in the middle of the field...
The event is organized at sports complex^^

28/11

my dear blog
i happened to abandon u for months dy...
there are reasons why i do so...
sometimes i do feel...even i expose how i felt...
nothing changes...i will still have to dealt with my emotion myself...
i need to be more independent!
u know these few months...alot of thgs changes...
as in really alot...including my characters...
have i change to be a better one...
or a worst one...haha...

i have gone through quite alot..."thats my thought ny"
emotional abuse handling with the bad result i get last sem which smhow affect my future financially..."yet i still haven got myself real hardworking now"
knowing what death means i guess...
seeing so many accidents happened let me realized we got to be very careful on the road...
i've got myself real busy from the starting of sem till last two weeks i guess...
organizing events and indulging in them...

First Aider in Every Home Camp 2010

roughly 80 over participants attended this camp~ it was really enjoyable~

~a bunch of crazy committees~ who get active easily!

I have enjoyed myself very much throughout the period of preparing till the day of event itself...now we are close friends who can hang out anytime together...preparing towards a new event "Waka-waka Flash Mob" next tues^^ looking forward for it...we have good response with 70over students coming over for the first practice...

gone through muet test...now working for final examination...

*i know what i did hurt u alot...i pray that from now onwards u will lead a happy life ahead...somehow someday i believe u will recover...
i'm sorry...*

its not the matter
how hard things turn out to be
its the matter
whether can u still
carve a smile on your face
~

"sometimes
despite what we want...
the door just have too many locks..."

^^

nw that i know u r safe and sound...

im not worry dy...

whatever happens...

i just want all the ones that i care to be happy and healthy~

why

为什么
你有话你就跟我说啊
为什么
要这样逃避我？

exaMmmmmm

tell me
how am i going to finish
in such alittle time
sobs~

origin

the origin of my blog
is becz of u
...
我只能够回忆
。。。

。。。

两年
就这样过了

。。。

MONKEY

the monkey staying warmly in my head is always busy fussing around with my nervous system

...

MORNING!!

morning bloggie...
suprise to see me this hour?
lol...
i actually can't believe i can sleep at 10pm and wake up at 5am...
its a suprise to myself as well...

shoppingggg

blueee enough?? haha...
last weekend went shopping with my family...
cant deny the saying "girls shop no matter whn they are happy or even sad..."
they jz love to shop...
bought few items ^^

my mum call this "flies glasses" ^^

a new handbag ^^

wat do u call this?

accesoriesss~

jz another day

screw up my performance management paper today...
nobody to blame but myself...
haihz...hope i wun screw up my afa paper next weekend...
after exam...went out for lunch...thn came bec and packed my stuffs ready to come bec hometown...
while packing...i found some memorable items...they remind me of the thgs i had gone through...memorable memories...at that moment...i recall...how much have i change...am i not myself anymore? but smhow there are memories that one cant forget at least for a very long period of time...thgs will change so does ppl...
while reminiscing...i fall asleep...i love that kind of feeling "sleeping with no worries"...though i slept on only half of the bed as the other half is full with stuffs as i am packing...haha...
but its not preference to fall asleep ytday while reading pm notes...haihz...
last thurs i went out for photography society exco meeting...halfway through the meeting...heard a loud banggg...
went out and saw a car which had crashed into a coming motor...
and the motor victim is lying on the floor...
i had the thought of going over to help...but then i realize i had no confidence at all wat to do...
just will and no knowledge doesnt help...
btw...while i was walking over with another gal... the chairman had went over asking the guy about his condition...
lucky he was still conscious...hope he will be fine...
i realize i really had no confidence with my first aid skill..no practical experience...
thats the reason i din join pbsm kampar branch unlike all my friends who had joined...
i dun believe in myself...
DRABC...danger...response...airway...breathing...circulation...
whether am i correct with the definition of the alphabet or not also im not sure...
gan cheong lo...first time seeing a victim lying on the road...frm the moment he is lying on the road till the moment whn ambulance arrive...
maybe cz thats the first time i am at the spot of accident...my mind went blank...not functioning...forgetting everythg that i had learnt...including DRABC...that is what i can or should do...hope i had the courage to help next time...
this reminds me to be more careful while driving...

what u see is what u believe

today audit lecturer teach us
"what u see is what u believe"
which also means
i believe only what i see...
but sometimes...
what i see and believe isn't necessary the truth...

失败

我成经以为
我能坚强
这一刻
我失败了
。。。

no longer the same

these two years...
alot of things had happened...
only god knows...
when i am no longer that naive...
i had to believe nothing is forever...
enjoy the current moment...
or else...
i might jz regret the next minute...
what had passed no longer remains the same...
i hope...
im tough enough to get through wats ahead of me...
in the future...

question

today performance management lecturer ask us to ask ourselves...
"am i still the same person as the day i come in utar?"
am i?

shhhhhh~

i dunno why
but sometimes
it feels better to keep quiet
~

i miss u

dun read if u think its too long-winded...hehe

i attended company law tutorial today...
i like the tutor...her personality...we din touch much on the details bout the subject yet as this is the first week...

not to mention...i migrate into her class because ppl spread about the accuracy of her tips for the exam too...but i really like her in person...i like her thinking...
she shares kinda alot of them with us...
now that we are adults...we should know in reality...that we cant force ppl to work our way...we hav to learn how to compromise too...to compromise doesnt mean to support every single thing ppl said...learn to support ppl correct points and giv up our stubborn one...learn to accept the fact that we are wrong sometimes...

she mentions about the increment of divorce cases in our country...its normal to hav them everyday...to me...there is no such thing such as living together forever after...that is only a fairytale in our childhood...lolz...tutor said no husband and wife who dun quarrel...if there is such couple, their relationship is fake...its happy to reunify the arguing for divorce couples...but whn they come to a stage beyond repairment...its better for them to separate...no point having both of them pulling long faces whenever they met each other at home...
i have learn to understand that sometimes cannot means cannot...stubbornly staying in a broken relationship is pointless...not only u suffer...but also your partner...
of course that doesnt means u should get your viewpoint too greyish in this zone...no harm giving a try...i guess...lolz...

besides that...she mentioned that dun care too much on the exam marks...not to mean that u should be carefree and doesnt even bother to study for your exam...your parents send u to uni to get the degree as a step stone for your future...of course...if u can score...why dun u go for it...but if u really cant...dun get too upset with that and give up...successful ppl doesnt necessary hav to be those who can score very well marks during their school time...but sometimes not to neglect the fact the intelligence do help in some way...she saw many lawyers who are very intelligent but they fail to succeed in the court because they do not know the way to handle the cases...

others...i dun really remember dy...but besides all these...there r other things i realize myself...
everyone have their own secrets...but whn there r out in the open...as in the one whom u get in secret from suddenly knows that...hw will u react...lolz...actually smtimes its really difficult to stuck in between...not knowing what to do...in the past...i often refers this to varifying different route...it make sense whn u stand in other ppl position too...what if that is you....what will u do...will u do the same? but...it do make u feel better whn they make effort to explain...not caring whether the explanation is true anot... so...sometimes u hav to understand them and compromise too... i had got lost before in trustworthiness...actually i had to admit i am a sensitive person...a word can make me think alot...sometimes ppl jz get me confuse on my own principle...i got so lost thn i get emo for a period... but one thing...i have got to learn and i am learning... to let go..."fang kai dian"...
u will live your life more happily...seriously...whats the point of getting yourself so emo and the ppl who cares about u get miserable because of u...rite?

"everyone have different personalities...if everyone is the same, we will be like a robot...", tutor.
thus, learn to know that we cant get ppl to behave or work the way we want them to...learn to compromise...its better to have a friend than an enemy...and get yourself headache hating this and that when u can use that space of your mind to enjoy other events/stuffs...

and last of all...
sorry for posting such a long-winded post...thks for bearing with me...
lolz (laugh-out-loud)...
^^
after what happened last week...i hav new principles in life ;p
we r still young...learn till the day we die...experiences let us grow...

pathetic

fuck

pathetic betul

alcoholic

i wanna drink
and swing at the playground now
if only i can...

blows

receive two blows in one day...
terrible me...drop tears for the one ppl dun think of...
its time to realize
let go gal...
this week is definitely not my week...

没了

没了
。。。

one of the nite of few days after the final

see^^ my youngest sis so good...prepare supper for us...twink**

the day after the last paper

went ipoh for Ip Man 2 and shopping^^

finalllllllllllll byebye...

today is the last paper of account...
yet...yesterday i felt so helpless with it...i spend whole night looking at a chapter which till now i still dun understand why it is located under that category/why it should be written twice...nobody can answer me...lol..
cash flow statement...
i remember u...
next sem another advance financial accounting to take...
and also company law...and kinda few soundsss hard subjects...
thgs got tougher and tougher...nobody can deny...haihz...
lolz...my room kinda messy and dirty because final no time to clean up...
or perhaps its my fault finding excuses for myself to rest rather than clean the room...
haha...though packing up stuffs and arranging them can be very troublesome...
sometimes...i do like it...i know it sounds stupid...
but doing that seems to reminisce memories left behind..such as packing up stuffs...when u saw sm non-important items that u din realised it exists for that long...u will find that pieces of broken memories fall in...
its like every single piece of object...or even a word...there can be a story that lies behind it...
u will never know the implied meanings of that object/word to other ppl in their life...
nobody will know yours too unless u choose to reveal them...lol...
sorry...nonsense...haha...

happy belated birthday to u

cucu

铁马寻桥

修合无人见
存心有天知

心情

有很多东西很想写
很想讲
但写不出
也讲不出
埋在心里
好让自己慢慢的承受吧

那一天
在外面一个人吃午餐
看着下着雨的天空
掉落的雨水
幼稚的想过
老天爷爷是否跟我有共同的心情呢

虽然看不到
听不到
可是逃不掉
忘不了
。。。

泪

我掉泪的时候。。。
又有谁了解我的心情。。。

why

when mood swings...
sometimes...
i just dun understand why...

sometimes

sometimes...
when i choose to become dependent, i feel weak...
when i choose to become independent, i feel lonely...
haihz...
"fan jian"

nostalgic

没那么简单

没那么简单 就能去爱 别的全不看

变得实际 也许好也许坏各一半
不爱孤单 一久也习惯
不用担心谁 也不用被谁管

感觉快乐就忙东忙西
感觉累了就放空自己
别人说的话 随便听一听 自己做决定
不想拥有太多情绪
一杯红酒配电影
在周末晚上 关上了手机 舒服窝在沙发里

相爱没有那么容易 每个人有他的脾气
过了爱做梦的年纪 轰轰烈烈不如平静
幸福没有那么容易 才会特别让人着迷
什么都不懂的年纪
曾经最掏心 所以最开心 曾经

黄小虎

酸

心里的酸有谁明白

心情

有些事情
只有当事人
才了解那种心情
。。。

伤

有些话说出来了就永远都收不回了
伤了你
也
伤了自己
值得吗
我是否错了呢
。。。

习惯了你的好

你成经虚过不少的沉落
陪在你身边的日子有很开心的
也有很难过的
一路以来我都一直跟自己说
雨过会天晴的
我一直都在等。。。都在希望。。。
不肯放弃。。。也不想放弃吧。。。

习惯了你对我的好
有你疼和忍让的日子真的很甜
有时看到你忍我的脾气， 我还会提你感觉辛苦呢
但我还是偷偷的微笑因为你肯忍
在你身边，当什么都不去想的时候，我看到幼子的自己
很自由，有像能做回小孩的感觉
我怀念也不会忘掉

一转眼
我们在一起已经一年九个月了
如今，我知道我自己该醒了
我需要独立的过日子了
当流过的泪干了过后，我不想再让它流了
希望你也一样
开心的走完你应走的路吧
做回你自己
记得我们一起微笑过的日子
就足够了
。。。

past

一切都不一样了
我怀念过去

TITLE- i dunno

previous week had been a bad week for me...
terrible scheduling of sleeping time, eating time and everything...
did badly for my mid terms as well...
i thought this week it will be better...
yet...
i dun like it now...
not knowing where are you...
i cant reach you...
i often wonder...if we lost our phones...
whats next...

outta control

i dun really what i had done this whole week...
i'm OUTTA CONTROL of myself...
terrible...

trouble is a friend

trouble will find u no matter where u go...
i got in love with this song recently by lenka...
had been emo-ing for these few days...
trouble is a friend of mine...
there are problem that exists which no one can help me to solve...
thats the reason i choose not to talk bout it...
i'm happy when my friends do show their concern anyway...
this problem of mine will not cease till the day i made a cruel decision...
i believe so unless there are miracles...
oh my dear god...will u grant me the miracle?
haihz...

comics

i went to play badminton last thursday night with my friends from first aid society...
which results in having muscle pain days after that...
this is the consequences for not exercising for such a long time..."huo gai"
after the game, we went for yum-cha session...of course becz many of us are hungry...
i went into 7-eleven and got attracted with comics...
i bought one as i suddenly felt nostalgic with it...haha...
i finished reading it that night...stay awake till 3am...terrible huh...
comics are the main reason why i had short sighted with 200 over power when im only standard 2 student...
why??? my mum disallowed me to read comic when im small and i cant resist the will so i will usually ended up hiding in a dark corner to finish reading comics that i bought in secret from my mum...u can call me stubborn or stay strong with my will...lolz...
i read quite a variety of them such as doraemon...shinchan...conan...love story comics as i grow older...

"u are a part of my childhood memories my dear...i will always love u"

chinese new year preparation

It had been a busy week for me...
going for International Friendship Society recruitment drive duty whenever im free in uni...
then have to start to do assignments dy...
arrange meetings and discussions...
haha...in another word...i'm training myself to work well with multi-tasking...
hope not more of my hair will turn out to be white later...lolz...
i had attended a few free talks last sat...thn i rush bec to hometown...
wonder why i wanna rush bec....lolz...to see whether is my hometown filled with the celebration of chinese new year feel...well...i can see that from supermarkets where ppl snatching drinks as though there are free...haha...
one of the supermarket-the store even open for 36 hours non-stop...
haha...let the pictures explain it...

pic taken at 1am...

the main entrance

well...what attracts the crowd is the price of the hot items on sale...it is dropping when the night is growing old...

without logics...

i wonder have anyone wash their car midnight before?
haha...i jz did it at 1am...
wash till 1.30am...then go around kampar town...
"long kai"...hehe...till 2am...to dry the car...haha...
sometimes it feels good jz to follow your feeling...
without rational analyzing...
i am bec in kampar town now...

school reopen

argh...every students who are grumbling are going bec to their school tmr...
including my two sisters...
lolz...although i'm not one of them...
yet...
i will be bored to the core...
nobody will accompany me to online or watch drama till late night...
nobody will argue and fight with me...
nobody will ask me what i wanna have for my supper..."maggie"
its all going to be a lonely day and night...

love is blind

this sentence is often told again and again as the conclusion of almost every conversation about relationship...
and today i realized it...though the possibility that i will forget about it after this will be high as well...
when it comes to love between partners...when u r awake u got the damn clear view of everything happening around u...but when u r asleep with the sweet dreams...u can forget and tolerate almost everything as well...
after days or even months living without the burden i can feel in this relation...
now i feel it again...
perhaps smhow i had fallen into the alpha stage of sleeping with sweet dreams that i start to believe u will not lose ur temper in front of me...
haha...i had gotten it all wrong...or perhaps i am challenging ur limit...
i had got doodled up in my own world...my own fantasy...that i should be screwed up to get awake now...
u had never dare to spoke out what's ur prob until i question u bout it...
which this also means how my behaviour had affected you all this long...i knew it but i jz refused to change it all this while...i had to admit that i jz get too self-concious to get myself happy...
but deep inside me...im very worry that i will lost my believe upon u once again which i still try my best to hold now...