Petrified

I am petrified of 2005... It is a year of uncertainty for me in all aspects..

Christmas 2004 sucked big time for me... The worst christmas I have had.. New Year Eve 2004 will be another sucky day for me..

I might not be posting regularly till I can get my life together.. I'm sorry...

Xmas shopping

Yeay... Im pretty psyched by right now. Had actually planned to go shopping for xmas presents last sunday. But the 2 assholes whom i messaged to ask if they were free to accompany me didn't even bother to reply me at all. So... idiots!!

Am off tomorrow. Was supposed to go over to Chinatown for the opening of my aunt's kopitiam. But due to some last minute cock-ups, the opening has been postponed to next week. As a result, i can go shopping tomorrow!! mummy has to go for a blood test tomorrow @ TTSH. So this is the plan. We shall take a cab down together in the morning. She will drop ashley, megan and me off at funan then she go to TTSH on her own. I wanna go over to funan and get my ipod remote control from kel.. haha..

den, we will go over to bugis to meet my aunt for lunch.. after which, we will spend some time shopping in bugis.. haha.. i wanna get my nail art stickers, d adidas cap, mebbe a projectshop bag for myself, and another as a present for my friend. then, i need to go get barbie dolls for jee xuan, mebbe some clothes for her younger bro, pooh bear and some clothes for megan, toys for ashley.. haha.. so many things! i cant wait to go shopping!! but gotta make sure dat i buy buy buy, dun spend all my money! hmmm... i think i set aside 300 to spend on all dis bah..

Cheers!

Miss all my pals...

Chatted with Lin li online this afternoon. As usual, had so much fun talking to her! It's like, although she is away in far far canada, and I am stuck in stupid singapore, and we don't catch up with each other as often as we like, we are still able to like you know, continue updating each other what's rocking our lives.

Called her handphone and had a little talk too.. gosh! missed talking to her! think i should start controlling my messaging... clear up some extra money so i can talk to her more often!

The poor girl, got scared by what I had disturbed her about a dream i had a few months back. The gist was that a group of us went to phuket for a holiday, and I came back as a couple with this guy we know. Then she asked me how about her, i joked she was with this nerd that went for china itp with us.. haha.. she then REFUSED to ever go to Thailand with me ever... haha

really miss them.. i am alone tomorrow.. i wanna go shopping. havent bought all d xmas presents for my 4 lil darling cousins.. and some for my frds too.. and i wanna buy d nail art stickers.. oso damned tempted to go to d beach to slack.. BUT there is no one who can accompany me! damned!!!

arghhh... hmmm.. i post up these few pics of linli, seri, gina and me when we were in china and when we came back.. gosh! i have gained so much weight after graduation!! arrghhhhh!!! :@

looky looky!!


Me, Gina & Seri @ the bund (Shanghai)


Me, Gina, Seri & Lin Li @ Rock Gardens


Me, Lin Li, Gina & Seri @ Zhou Village


Gina, mi, Lin Li & Seri @ our last dinner in Shanghai


Lin Li, me, Seri & Gina back in S'pore at SP

PICS!! does she look like me?!??!

An update

Finalli i can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Actually, it feels like i can see 2 lights. number 1, some of you might be aware that i have been sick for the past month or so. i am proud to announce that i seem to be getting better. have not been coughing in the middle of the night jarring myself awake for the past 3 or 4 days. flu has also left me.

number 2, i have finally decided to YES, I AM GOING TO LEAVE MY JOB!! yeah. after so many times of telling myself that i wanna leave this dead end job, i have finally decided to put the money on the talk and this is official. I will be tendering my notice on jan 1 2005. so all of you out there, continue to help me keep a lookout for a new job k.. preferably in marketing or PRA.

skipped zouk out on sat coz 1, sum of d guys were broke. 2,we were scared of the rain. ended up going to double o instead. there was this weirdo there.. wearing long sleeve white shirt and pants.. he had his shirt tucked in. but he unbuttoned his shirt, and the wae he was dancing was so gay! he came over, had his arms around justin and zhaowen, and offered them ciggies.. haha. yucks!

spent d entire dae yesterdae again at home babysitting megan.. was quite monotonous.. she woke me up at 10, i fed her milk, she shit, i cleaned her up, played for a while, den pat her to slp. hr later, she wake up, i feed her milk, she shit, i cleaned her up, played a while. pat her to sleep.. haha.. dis went on 3 times! meanin, she shit 3 times yesterdae! dunno isit she tekan mi. coz normally she only shit once a dae. den, my granddad celebrated his bdae yesterdae nite at a restaurant. so i had to settle both megan and myself. was such a blast! haha.

this was how i did it. i fed her milk, and faster went to the toilet to bathe. didnt close the door fully cause was afraid she will cry. aniwae, no body was at home and d windows were closed. den, i bathed her, and changed her. i brought her pram into my room, and put her in there while i changed and packed up her stuff. haha.. 1st time in my life, my adidas bowling bag, open dat time, onli c pampers, milk bottle, milk powder and baby biscuit. haha.

relatives commented dat i will make a veri good mummy next time coz of d wae i handled her durin dinner.. haha.. imagine, wif everyone talking and people toasting each other, i managed to pat her to sleep.. haha.. yeay!! later i go home, den i post up some pics dat i had taken with megan last nite at home.

cheers!

Haha.. I am back!!

Have been so super busy and lazy to blog.. but at least this entry is done on my own accord.. Zefeng never nag at me! hahaa. think he also give up liao.

Life has been very monotonous. Dunno what I want out of life. Really. Feel so out of contact with everyone everywhere.

Last Sunday, I went down to Bugis for a walk around. Finally felt like Christmas was approaching and its the festive season.

So happy that Junhao is back in Spore already. Will be clubbing with him and qi and the rest this sat most probably.. haha,, its been more than a year since i last saw all of them. Qi i met a few months back for dinner. but junhao was in aust for a year, and i didnt meet up with justin only chat online nia.

Seri called me and told me that if nothing goes wrong, she'll be graduating this year, and hopefully if she can get a seat on a flight back, she'll be able to make it in time for xmas celebration and new year count down with us.. hmm.. so that just leaves lin li who is still away in far far canada..

hopefully lin li comes back for her holiday. then mebbe we can go for a short weekend break together.. if she really comes back, then it will be the first time since we graduated that all of us are reunited. cause whenever seri is back, lin li is not back and vice versa. lin li is a cool ger to go partying wif.. she will b like wah wah wah.. haha.. and seri... hmmm.. d last time she came back, we went to zouk and she took a ciggie from me.. haha.. does dat mean she is into hard core smokin dis time round when she comes back? i dunno..

will b going for dinner wif d usual office kaki tomorrow. cause elaine is no longer wif her company, and cause shes having sum health problems, shes cancelling her work permit, and most prob will be stayin in msia liao.. means next time wanna see her muz go jb..

got d news from justin dat wenqi had messaged him dat sat we will be going mohd sultan.. hmm.. we had actually planned to go over to sentosa for zouk out. but a major concern is whether it will rain or not. so yeah lah.. mohd sultan will b a better choice.. sure hope they decide which pub to go to.dun like to all meet liao den stand there and decide. been a long long time since i last drank. wif all d thoughts runnin through my mind these few days, yeah, i guess a drink sounds damned good.. but gotta look after myself and ensure dat history dont repeat itself. cause d last time i went clubbin wif dis group of guys, i was a lil drunk, and ended up puking up my drinks on justin's leather shoes. haha..

dunno if gina will b joinin us this sat. cause when d choice was zouk out, she said she dun wanna go.. well.. hope she comes along. if not, i will b d only girl there.. haha..hmm.. think i should message christine and ask her to come along. after all, she has gone clubbin wif them and me before.. if not, no one to accompany me to the toilet, and no one to smoke with me. although yeah, i have gone clubbin wif qi and the rest and been d only girl, but havin ple to go toilet wif and b there wif me to bio guys is always good..

well.. it has been a blog dat had been rambling about rubbish.. haha.. ok .. goin take a shower.. feelin quite hot.. den wanna sleep liao.. will update you guys on what happen on sat.. haha.. for all you know, we might end up not going out at all.. haha

cheers!

Hello!!!

here i am again bloggin in my office.. no choice really... @ home my monitor wanna die already.. now when i switch it on, d colour is pinkish tone one... i think really gotta buy new one liao..

money has not been coming in so freely cause no more tuition.. LCDs will most probably go for 300+?? for a 15" and 500+ for a 17" during Sitex... If its 300+ for a Philips lightframe, i dun mind going for it... especially if its in below d mid 300 range... if its 399... den kill me pls..

if not worse come to worse.. buy back CRT... office sell 15" at less den 150.. but d thing is, d shelf which daddy had made for mi to put my printer is too close to d monitor!! my monitor has been heating up like no body business cause no ventilation.. so i can either blow 300 odd on a LCD which looks chio, or spend 100 odd on a CRT, and buy a small fan to blow just my monitor..

thinking of getting a dvd player for my room too.. cause if not very troublesome, wanna watch vcd must on my PC.. wanna watch dvd must go either mummy or sister's room.. also thinking of getting the new canon printer.. quite worth it lor, i think.200+ can print duplex (both sides) without having any addons..

Ok ok.. decided liao.. going do up a wish list for xmas presents.. please take a look... and tell me which you intend to buy for me.. haha..

Cheers!!

SICK!!!

yeah.. i have been down and out these few days.. all started on weds morning when i woke up with a stuffy nose. went to work, had headache and blocked ear! thurs, i woke up with a swollen ankle plus cough.. thurs night, i got struck by fever.. yet you know what, i was still at work!!

yeah! woke up this morning still with slight fever, cough and stuffy nose.. did all my stuff, and went to the bus stop to wait for the bus.. yes.. you didn't read wrongly. Both thurs and today i had woken up super early. early enough for me to take the bus to work. not because i was finally disciplined enough to wake up early. but cause with my stuffy nose, it is almost impossible to sleep well.

while waiting for the bus, i puked.. decided, fuck it. so what if my girl is not in the office, no one to cover my work for me. i decided to call in sick and stay at home.

im really pissed.. whenever i get hit by the flu, i feel like shit.. its not like when i have high fever, and i feel hot the entire time. whenever i get flu, i will only start to have fever come evening. thus at night when i sleep, im like a walking hot water bottle.. both nights already, i slept with my air con on (which is normal) BUT without my blanket covering me (which is NOT normal!)

then when i wake up the next morning, my fever is like almost gone.. from young always like that.. imagine like at night you feel fucking hot. then morning you go see doc, tell him you having fever. he take your temperature, which will be normal by then, and look at you like you were hallucinating. there was once, in poly, i saw him in the afternoon, told him i had fever the night before. but by then, my temperature was normal. so he didn't give me fever medicine. a few hours later, during the early evening, i went to see him again, telling him my fever is back. temperature at that time, high fever. which should be around 38 or something like that.. bloody hell..

oh well.. any one wanna volunteer to come over and be my maid while i am sick.. its quite terrible you know, to be sick and still have to clear my room because i had thrown all the tissue papers all over the floor after blowing my nose into them through the night.. haha.. lazy to aim into the dustbin so just THROW! haha..

Cheers!

So sorry..

It has been a LONG LONG time since my last blog.. been nagged at by Zefeng boi boi.. so sorry lah..

Well.. my stupid pc has its OS reinstalled 3 times in as many weeks.. First time, it was because I had problems getting my windows update. So my frd came over and helped to reinstall, as well as install SP2. After which, yes windows update can be done. But whenever I try to open 'my computer', you will see the stupid torchlight shining for about 5-10 mins?!

So brought it to office where my friend did the reinstallation again for me. This time, without SP2. Brought it back home, installed my norton.. connect to the internet to get update.. KNN! wham.. hit by sasser as well as trojan.download.. What the hell!!! Tried to live with it.. but neh.. it got to the point where I can surf the net for about 10 mins. And then my MSN and ICQ gets logged off automatically, IE cannot surf.. yet i can still ping singnet.. damned..

So on sat, i went home and did the reinstallation on my home. Again, this time with SP2.. but know what, im still facing the same problem with the stupid shining torchlight.. and although i have installed the patch for my Canon MPC190, I still cannot get the printer up and runnin.. sigh.. any one willing to sponsor me a new CPU?

Sigh... want to change my CRT to a LCD.. but pocket a little empty.. However, LCD prices have been dropping.. Zefeng and I are speculating that month end during Sitex, the 17" LCDs might be going for $500+.. Hope so.. My daddy placed the shelf for my printer too near to the CRT.. Monitor heating up very rapidly cause no ventilation space.. What the hell..

So yeah.. I guess you can understand why I have not been updating my bloggie.. and the main reason for it all?? Im just plain simple LAZY.. haha.. :$

Cheers!!

Lonely

Ever felt that you are totally alone even though you are surrounded by people that you know? Of cause when you are surrounded by strangers say on the bus or MRT, that's a totally different story. But I am talking about people you know, people you care about, people who care about you.

You can be sitting in the office doing your work, with all your collegues around you,yet you feel alone. Having dinner and conversation with your family, Yet you feel alone. Hell, you can even be sitting next to your other half, being hugged by him, yet you feel alone.

Is loneliness something which is easy to handle? I'm perfectly ok with spending time all by myself. Say just playin on the PC, reading a book while lazing on my bed.. Watching TV, or even just lying on my bed.. Doing nothing but letting my mind roam free imagining anything that my grey matter can dream up. I strongly believe that a person must spend time by him/herself. Then you'll not feel so stressed up and pressurised. Wont feel that you are being pulled in all directions, by everyone around you.

So why is it that these few days I feel lonely? Can be laughin at the antics of my cousins ashley and megan. yet deep down, i feel sad and lonely. Damned.. please don't tell me that I am turning out to be like one of those girls who will get depressed before that time of the month, and will stay that way till it is over. I had a taste of it once. And honestly, i don't wish to go through that cycle every month! Its not only trying for the people around me, cause they are like steppin on egg shells around me. But it is hell for myself!

Think I should go out and exercise more.. smell the sea breeze.. any one willing to volunteer to spend a day or a morning with me cycling down pasir ris beach or east coast beach? haha..

Cheers!

Don't scold liao!!

Haha.. Got scolded.. eh.. not really scold lah.. more like nagged at by zefeng boi boi.. keep naggin me to blog! haha.. what to do? I everydae tryin to rush out my cross stitch.. then watching tv.. oso never even online.. how to blog?! haha..

just now we went to singnet website. realised that we can subscribe to o2jam just simply adding $5.25 to our singnet/singtel bill. actually, its about the same price as if you buy in block lor.. but every month you pay $5 not so heart pain. compared to payin $50 at one go!

so later when i go back home, i gotta go and install o2jam all over again. then subscribe via singnet. haha.. den like dat most prob everynite will online again liao.. haha..

Goin go back to work liao..

Cheers!

TIRED!!

Had a great day last night... eh actually, night is more like it... Was my collegue's Gary aka bear daddy birthday yesterday. so we celebrated his birthday plus belated my birthday. went to treat the rest to steamboat at bugis after work. had great fun there joking and laughing. ben was so cute, keep asking gary if he eat enough a not.. sae if not later go home beat chest, sae pay so much, eat so little. haha. then we went to ktv at shenton way after that. was damned cold, and the 2 kids slept halfwae thru.. was lik a concert where only majority of the songs were sung by cat, elaine and me.. mebbe coz we were the only girls there..

reached home onli close to 4am.. then sleep.. actualli, now still tired.. i went over to cat/ben's place just now to pass some thread to cat.. coz her cross stitch need the thread, some i have mah.. so juz go over then have dinner too lor..

now i wanna go do my cross stitch too.. wanna pia the thing out fast.. take a pic and post it up when it has been completed...

cheers!

Woohoo!!

I noe I noe.. i have been very very lazy on my bloggin the past two months.. In fact, everydae when i reach home, i switch on my tv immediately and start watching. many days, i dont even switch on my comp. wastin my money payin for my 512 connection with singnet.

well... i am very happy today.. cause... *drumroll* its my BIRTHDAY!! haha.. ok lah.. i wanna go and check my mails and all liao.. promise you guys i will blog regularly k..

Cheers!

Everyone is leaving company

Ben has left the office as of yesterday. Today, i got the news that gary is going to funan branch with effect from monday. Zefeng will be quitting in dec cause kenna enlistment, malcolm also dec leaving cause going study.

Hope the problem that I have with the fucking company is quickly settled. Then i can tender, and say a loud fuck off to the company!!

Cheers!

Back liao!

So sorry for the late post. Was busy doing some cross stitching, no time to update my blog.

Genting was nice. First time I see my daddy so high. Played bumper car and roller coaster, ended up with blue black on each knee. Arm also had one. haha. Daddy was like a small boy, after his turn on the bumper car ended, he ran out, and jumped over the railing to join the queue! haha.

Megan was a super good baby. Didn't cry much at all. Only on the coach ride home, when it was very dark on the Malaysian highway, and she was scared. Haha. know what i did to pacify her? switched on my handphone photolight. haha.

Cheers!

NOT ENUF TIME!!

Went out with Kat and Wei wei today. Had a walk around spotlight, cause she also wanna do cross stitch mah.. My own cross stitch, is only like mebbe say 10% done! Argghhh...

Its now 11.40pm, and I havent bathe cause I just reached home. After my shower. I need to pack my bags for my genting trip tomorrow.. Arghhh... my coach is leaving at 7am. means i latest 5.30 gotta wake up.. from the looks of it, i dun think i will be able to sleep at all..

He said that I have changed. Seems different from the past. More aloof, more bo chap. I admit i have changed. Changed to be more independent. Guess its something that will come naturally one lor. Cause its like he is always not ard me. When i have anything that happens, i cannot share with him. By the time he is available. i no longer feel like talking about it. Is it my fault? I really dunno. What will happen will happen i guess..

See you guys on tues when i come back! im excited. cause finally after 21 long years, i get to go overseas and on holiday with my daddy. will be sure to take lots of pics! haha..

Cheers!

Feeling lonely

Today, all my kakis in my office are not around... Either they are on off, urgent leave, or doing on-site service. Nobody to eat lunch with me, nobody to talk cock with me. Nobody to entertain me. I think I will have a very lonesome day in the office. All the way till 5.30pm. Cause that's when Zefeng boi boi comes in to work. die.....

Relationship getting better

daddy and i used to be on minimal speaking terms. Definition? Only time I speak to him is when I reach home and call him, before I eat, when I need money, and to inform him that I will not be going home. Other than that and telling him stuff like my room light bulb blow and so on, we don't talk.

Daddy is those typical old-fashioned father who doesn't show his love to you in an obvious manner. Therefore, no hugging and kissing and telling his children that he loves them. His way of showing love is to ensure that we are not lacking in anything at home. As a result, all 3 of his children have their own rooms, with their own PCs, and hi-fi system. My sis and my room has a TV and air-con. To say the truth, our rooms have really become a truely self-sufficient place to stay for each of us.

Realised that ever since dad quit his job with the construction company, he has been more obvious in his mannerisms that he cares for us. Of cause, he painted the house. But that's not the only thing. Last night, I went for my boyfriend's company dinner. Had a great time there, so much so that I did not go home till 8 this morning, and made no calls home. Mummy msged me ard 7 saying that dad had not slept. But was waiting up for me. Mummy also said that dad was rather worried when I made no calls home to inform them. Spoke to dad before I left home for work, and he just asked why I did not go home. after my explanation, he just said one sentence which really touched my heart. "Last night you did not sleep, for sure today you are very tired, If need be, forget about work. Just stay home and rest". Oh boy... TEARS!!

Daddy, I know that the possibility of you reading this is totally zilch. But I just wanna let you know that no matter how 'cold' our relationship might be, I know that you love me, and I do love you too.

Cheers!!

Bad service good attitude?!

Called M1 some time last week to enquire about some stuff. Cause last year, I had changed my ultimate plan to the business plan. As a result, I was automatically regarded as a member of their 'sun riser' programme. Benefits? Free value-added services registration, free auto-roaming and caller number display subscription for 12 months.

I had changed my plan back to ultimate in Feb this year, cause I realized that I was paying too much for something that I was NOT utilizing (my bill came up to $200+ a month!!) As I did not go overseas after that, it did not cross my mind to check if I was still a sun riser member. But as I'm going over to Genting next weekend, and my siblings are having their exams, thought of activating the auto roaming, so that my mummy can call home to wake them up.

When I had called M1 last week, the customer service personnel had informed me that yes, I am eligble for the free auto roaming till November. Therefore, I had made plans to go over to do the activation, together with the free upgrade to the M1 explorer Sim card. Last night, I saw my new bill, and realised that I was being charged for the number display. So I called M1 again. The cust svc personnel then told me that no, I am not eligle for the sun riser perks cause I had left the business plan less than a year after using it.

To me, it doesn't really matter if I gotta pay for it or not. Cause honestly, $5 a month is not a lot to pay every month. As for the auto roaming, I am also using a M card which can do auto roaming. I just need to go and top it up that's all. But what really made me feel pissed was that the first staff had told me that yes, I was eligible! Then the staff I spoke to last night told me that from the system, no one had accessed into my account to check for any records since Jan! OMG!! That fucker that I spoke to 2 weeks ago pulled a fast one on me!! damned!!!

The staff I spoke to last night was quite good. She said that she will check out the records for me, and speak to her boss. She didn't promise that she can give me all the perks that I should be getting as per what her collegue had said earlier. But she will try to do something. The arrangement is for me to give her a call tomorrow evening to check out the progress.

I dunno if I will call a not. Cause I don't like to make a big fuss over such small matters. I am not stingy ok! But it's like the feeling of being fooled lor.. haha..

My newly painted room!

Im so happy dat my dear daddy has painted my room.. and since i am feeling rather bored today, i decided to take the pics of the 2 most often used corner of my room and post it up! haha..


this is where I spend most of my nights.


yup.. all my rubbish.. as you can see, the tv with the SCV cable box is situated nicely in front of my bed.. that's why i always fall asleep with the lights and the tv on. (not my fault rite? haha)


my wall of 5566 posters. These used to be placed all over my room. Now i just centralize all of them.


study corner. this is where i spend my time online and everything.



my computer table. A lot of things rite? Still got water, cup and bowl left over from my dinner.. haha.. i either have dinner in front of my comp or on my bed. haha. i noe i noe.. my keyboard damned obiang.. dun blend in with the rest. let me find a nice to use keyboard den i change k? btw, who wanna sponsor mi LCD? my table no space liao leh!!


my so called 'study' table. Yeah. cause no longer studying. Den no need to bring work home to do. So in the end, become put a lot of rubbish onli

Chalet pics

wei wei


cute?


call police!!


d cake


cut cut cut!!!


yup... its nice!

Megan new pics

drink up!


im eatin.. dun disturb mi


happy family

IM SORRY!!

I noe i noe.. it has been a very very long time since I had last really blogged. In fact, just look at my archives for the month of August! Totally pathetic.. and i am realli veri remorseful about it..

As those of you who read my blog regularly, you should know that i have been bitchin about this friend of mine recently, and he has really been gettin on my nerves. From the chalet that my collegues and I had last week, I had really learnt some stuff. Not only about myself, but also about how others view people, and how people's perceptions about others will change when things change.

I never really liked to say that I believe in fate or that things are predestined. In fact, I live by the motto that whatever you want, you need to work hard to achieve it. And if you really want it that much, you should be able to get it. Well... Lets say that i have a little change of mindset liao..

Not really that i now believe in fate or anything like that. But it is very hard to put into words what you feel about stuff sometimes. I think that what Catherine said was very true. Friendships depend a little on fate too. Guess that's just the way it is between benjamin and me. yup, benjamin is d guy i am always bitchin about.

From the time when he entered the company, i have not had a very good impression of him. My character is d kind whereby if from the beginning i dun like you, it will be veri veri difficult for you to try to change my thinking to like you. have always felt that benjamin was rather hao lian... not as in proud or stuck up.. but more like show off. from playin o2jam in the past to changing handphones and working in the company, he always gives mi the feeling that he doesnt like to lose to others, and once he is better than you, he will keep harping on it.. to ensure that you remember that he is better than you.. sigh...

before the chalet, some of the rest were in the same boat as me. feelin irritated at benjamin, dun want him to join us. but during d chalet, on d nite of d bbq, he did some stuff which made the rest think slightly better of him. To me, i dun think better of him.. feel that whatever he does, it is to attract attention. and that pisses me off. i dun think i will change my mindset of him lor.

Am i very bad? i dunno. Am i stubborn? i think so.. am i an unreasonable bitch? haha.. i dunno. why dont you tell me what you think?

Cheers!

Was a great 3 daes

Hey.. Am back from the chalet liao.. had a great time there.. spendin time wif ben and famili, zefeng boi boi, daddy.. ashley, all my other collegues like kel and gary whom i have not seen for a long long time.. MISSED YOU GUYS!!

Haha.. now, my comp is on coz i juz bought d sims todae.. loaded it and goin try to play it.. watched anacondas juz now.. ok ok nia..

Cheers!

oh yeah desmond, dun keep sayin ur blog veri chio.. 2 daes liao.. i go in c blank page... haha..

IM BACK!!

Been a super hectic week.. Have had my hands full with working, and packing my room. Daddy has quit his job and is now at home shaking his legs. Well, I guess he can afford it, no hurry to find a new job. Cause my aunt, his sister, has bought a kopitiam at chinatown and wants him to oversee the operations. Therefore, daddy will be known as kopi kia and mummy as kopi so.. haha

Daddy decided to spend the one month rest to sort of 'renovate' the house. Started painting the walls of our home last week. That's why I had to pack my room. Gosh, didn't realise that I had so much rubbish hoarded up!! Packed all the stuff into boxes, and ended up with 4 CPU box full plus another 12 A4 size(the kind you buy A4 paper then 5 reams they pack inside ones) boxes!! OMG!!

And to think that that is only the stuff which are placed out in the open. Those inside the drawers, cupboard, book shelf, all I never touch.. Haha.. karang guni! so many things! Have spent the last 3 days unpacking the stuff. Havent even finish yet. When I packed the stuff into the boxes, I threw away 3 big plastic bags of stuff liao. Haha. last night count, got another 3 more NTUC plastic bag of rubbish. bwahahaha.

Tonight will be final fight against the rubbish in my room. Need to clear out the chest of drawers, repack the stuff, put all the stuff i don't use into the boxes, place them on the shelf and use plastic wrap to cover the thing so dust don't go in. THEN i can finally bring my mattress into my room and put the bedsheets, and take out all my pillows and blanket out from my wardrobe. Have been spending the past few nights sleeping out in the living room on the sofa. Such a sad life.

I have only left with 2 more days to clear my stuff in my office. Cause I applied for leave on Thurs and Fri mah. Got chalet to go. Told Ashley last night that I will be bringing her on Friday cause maybe playing wild wild wet. She is excited about it. And i will be leaving for a short getaway with my parents and ashley family to genting in about 3 weeks time.

Alrighty. you guys take good care of yourselves ok.

Cheers!

Just something which caught my eye

• Did you know that when you envy someone, it's because you really like that person?
• Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are real weak and most succeptible?
• Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others are the ones that really need some one to protect them?
• Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are : "I love you, Sorry and help me "The people who say these are actually in need of them or really feel them, and are the ones you really need to treasure, because they have said them.
• Did you know that people who occupy themselves by keeping others company or helping others are the ones that actually need your company and help?
• Did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in themselves?
• Did you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy their beauty?
• Did you know that those who dress in black, are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding?
• Did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned in two folds?
• Did you know that those who need more of you are those that don't mention it to you?
• Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face?But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face?
• Did you know that what is most difficult for you to say or do is much more valuable than anything that is valuable that you can buy with money?
• Did you know that if you ask for something in faith, your wishes are granted?
• Did you know that you can make your dreams come true, like falling in love, becoming rich, staying healthy, if you ask for it by faith, and if you really knew, you'd be surprised by what you could do.
• But don't believe everything I tell you, until you try it for yourself , if you know someone that is in need of something that I mentioned, and you know that you can help, you'll see that it will be returned in two-fold . "One day, we will change the world...or we are already changing it "
• THE BALL IS NOW IN YOUR COURT... If the world were to end in 24 hours, all the phone lines, chat rooms and e-mails will be saturated from people sending messages to others, saying: "I regret having made you feel bad", "Pardon me", "I love you", "I hold you in high esteem", take good care of yourself" and sometimes "I have always loved you, only I never told you".

Honestly speaking, I don't know about a lot of things which is written. All I know is that females always need lots of reassurance, lots of care, lots of concern. And in my current state of mind right now? All guys are dumbos. Good night!

Cheers!

Stupid boss

I can not believe that my boss used to be the COO of Challenger Superstar. Not when 1. his english sucks to the core. 2. He has very lousy knowlege of PC. 3. He is such a poser!

Just the other day, he got scolded by a customer. Cause the customer was asking some stuff about the scanner, something about whether after scanning a document, he can edit the document a not. My boss could not answer, and said gotta test the scanner then he will know. And as usual, he has to be his usual big hole self, and told the customer right from the beginning that our company carries the best products in the market at the most affordable price. And he also let the customer know that he is the senior manager in charge of the company. So what does the customer do when the boss does not know anything? Scold the boss! haha

My boss is always do stupid things like bringing in stuff which can not be sold, cause they are not competitive with the other products available in the market. Yet he will always go about telling our vendors and supplies that wah, one week we sold how many hundreds, how many thousands. Take for example, the Commex show. As of now, we are on the afternoon of the third day, and maybe in total, we have sold a grand total of 20 PCs and notebooks. And he has already shot himself in his leg. Even BEFORE the show started, he told everyone that the target is to sell 200 notebooks and 500 desktops!! Arrgghhh

When you bring in an item that cannot sell, don't you know that it would cause serious problems to the company?! First of all, it is a major waste of space on the retail floor. Secondly, the price will be liable to drop as time goes by. As a result, we might be incurring serious loss cause our initial cost price is high. Maybe even higher than the selling price as time goes by!

Golly... lousy boss results in company making loss. And who gets the blame?! The poor staff. cause the managers point fingers at us, saying that we did not do our jobs to close more sales. Sigh...

Cheers!

Am I really very bad?!

Isn't it human nature to want to avoid a person you do not like? Isn't it considered honest and polite to not lead that person to think that you are ok with them when you are not?

I mean, I don't go all out to create trouble for the fella. But neither do I like talk to him in a chummy manner, as per how I would normally talk to other friends. When I go and buy soya bean milk during office hours, and I happen to pass him on my way out of the office, I will just ask him out of courtesy whether he would like a cup or not. As long as I do not pass him, I will not take the initiative to buy for him. That is not considered an discrimination what right?!

I cannot make myself a hypocrite, by pretending that I do not find faults with him. See him, can laugh and play. I just simply cannot lor. I mean, yeah of cause, when I have problems or need help, I will go and approach him. In my defination, hypocrisy is when you dislike that person, yet you behave like you do. So what if others feel that I am making use of him when I ask him for help. He also approaches me when he has problems. And its not as if I draw such a thick line between him and me. When I see that he has problems, I will take the initiative to step in with a solution.

So what if he came into the office later then me, yet got the 'promotion' before me? I do not begrudge him for that. Cause in this company that I work for, a promotion comes with added responsibility (such as opening and closing the shop as well as cashiering when the cashiers are not around), yet comes with no added bonus, incentives or even a pay increase. In short, promotion is just promoting you to do more shit jobs. Besides, everyone can see, that he cannot handle pressure, cannot handle responsibilities. There have been a few occasions where he had serious problems with his customers, which could escalate into complaints and refunds. The suggestions and solutions which I came up with for him, were approved and put into actions by my manager, and even set as the standard operating procedure for future similar cases. I am not blowing my own horn. I just wana say that I am competent, and need no recognition for incompetent idiots.

We are planning a chalet for the school holiday break. We openly discussed it in the office. Yet, we make no move to include him in the planning. Don't get me wrong. Its not that we do not intend to invite him. We do. It's just that we only intend to tell him about it after my leave has been approved. Cause don't want to jeopardise my own leave mah. Only want him there to lessen the financial burden on us.

Haha

Cheers!

pissed!!!!!

I look down people who when they have absolutely nothing to do, go around boasting to everyone that they are how good how good. So much so to the extent, can have how good say till how good. What's the natural reaction when you see some one like this? Ok. Then you see him a little good. So you give him some responsibilities and work to do. Once he has that LITTLE bit of work and responsibilities, he starts getting 'super stressed'.

Please lor, do you honestly think that you are the only person in this entire world who has to WORK?!?!?! If you have the guts to say that you are good, you can work well no matter how tight the deadline is, then you should jolly well do just that.

I admit that I also, in times when I have a lot on my hands, and I feel that I am being stretched like a rubber band, will bitch about it to anyone and everyone who is willing to listen. For all who has eyes to see, and ears to hear, they will understand and sympathise with you. BUT, not when that asshole is ALWAYS complaining and whining!! Please lah, how much work you do only. Does that warrent the fact that you should show others a fucked up face the very minute you step into the office?! Wah kao, you think the company pay me to see you show attitude every day meh?!

Really very pissed with people like these. Just my luck to bump into some one like this in my company. All I can say is, if you wanna say you can do it, then you fucking hell gotta prove that you are not all talk and no substance. If you even have an inkling that you might not be able to cope, then you should fucking well keep your mouth shut!!!

A fulfilling week

It was a full-filling week last week. Accomplished lots of stuff and bought many stuff for myself too. Bought a new handphone, Panasonic X70 (Courtesy of my boyfriend. Thanks!), lots of toiletries like new electric toothbrush, facial wash blah blah, spent another bomb on mani/pedi stuff. Haha.

Went to see the last show of the fireworks festival last sunday. Was fantastic. Although, yeah, there were lots of smoke from the fireworks. But it was really beautiful. Don't understand how something can be so beautiful. Makes you smile deep from your heart. Will be trying to load the pics in. Though the pics were not very well taken. Too intent on watching that just any how snap. Haha.

Food!!!

Which would be a more logical choice? If you have a group of many friends (say 30+). Would you choose to have a chalet/bbq, go clubbing or would you go some where like maybe marina bay for steamboat? I was at bedok blk 85, and there was this group of people around my age gathered there to celebrate some body's birthday. The entire group choose to pull tables to sit together. In the end, they have one long table, but many of the guys were seated outside of the table.

Amount of food they ordered, not much. As in, still got place on the table to put motor bike helmet that kinda stuff. Looks so 'han suan'. Don't look very nice lor, i think. Like so many people, so little space and so little food. Not like gathering like that.

My collegue's wife birthday was on sunday. So we went to blk 85 to eat. There was about 11 of us, and we ordered like 2 plates of satay, 3 plates of rojak, 2 plates of chicken wings, bak chor mee for 7 of them, i had carrot cake, some bottles of tiger, 2 plates of french fries. In short, the table was full. With our cups of sugar cane on the table, you look at the table also happy.

I am the sort of person who likes to order lots of food. Even if say cannot finish, I also will not bother. I don't like to be like ok, eat finish liao then order some more. If I have the craving for the food, I will order. I once had dinner with my mum and cousin at the kopitiam. I ordered 1 plate of hor fun ($5), 1 plate of yi mee ($5), 1 plate of hokkian mee ($5) and a plate of rojak. A lot of food for 3 people to eat right. I don't care. I feel happy when there is a lot of food on the table. Of cause, if its those normal dinner or lunch time, don't count lah. Meal time only how long. How happy do you expect me to be.

Cheers! (And happy thinking of food!!)

Is love blind or are the ones in love blind?

Have seen this sentence in drama serials all the time. "It is more obvious to the people not involved, rather than to the ones involved". Yeah. I guess this is really true. I mean, each one of you must have experienced this one time or another.

You see acquaintances or friends in a relationship. Something is so obviously wrong. As a good friend, you share it with them. But their retort to you is "No lah. It is not like that one lah. You are not in the relationship. You dunno."

Some cases, it is where one party treats the other party like shit. I used to have a friend whose boyfriend makes her wait at his house for hours while he is sleeping. I mean, what the hell right? If you had made arrangements with someone to meet, why can't you bloody hell make an effort to wake up?! If you know you are going to sleep in late, then don;t tell her to come so early! This is the pits lor. Really. It really feels like shit some times you know, to be on the receiving end of such fucked-up behaviour.

Then of course, there are those classic idiots who should really just drop dead and DIE!! Who are those I am referring to?! Those assholes who sponge off their other half. My collegue is the most classic of all. I mean like, her pay is only $800 a month. Plus some extras like commission, and minus CPF, she is left with only $700. AND THAT STUPID GIRL GIVES ALL TO HER BOYFRIEND!!!! She is only 21, her boyfriend is like THIRTY PLUS!! And that asshole is divorced with a child! Arrggghhh...... everyday, she comes in, and at the end of the day, borrow money from the rest of us to take bus home. The other day, my collegue lent her $50. The next day, she came in with only $5 in her pocket. Where did the other $45 go? Yeah. to her boyfriend.

We the people standing outside of this relationship, tells them that they should not be led by their nose by such idiotic people. But then, they side their lover. So. Can some one please enlighten me. Isit really love which is blind or isit the people in love are the blind bats?!

Cheers!

Incoherent thoughts all jumbled together

So fed up. Saw this label on 7-eleven's shelf, indicating "M&M white choc". So elated upon seeing that. cause white chocolate is my all-time fav. But felt a little apprehensive. Cause the ones stacked there was the peanuts ones from the black and white series. But the stupid staff told me 'yeah, it's white choc'. Then kenasai.. i buy liao, open, idiot. black and white peanut chocs... NOT WHITE CHOC!! grrr....

My uncle got into an accident this morning. The car kissed the butt of the one in front. Eh, considering the fact that I have not even taken my basic theory, I really dunno anything about the codes of conduct on the road. But some one told me that normally, the car at the back is the one who kenna the blame. Luckily, my uncle and auntie were not hurt. Was not sure if ashley was in the car though. Sure hope she wasn't.

Ashley's birthday is this saturday. Havent decided what to buy for her. Contemplating between those eh.. you know like snowball like that? A glass with cute stuff inside, water and small styrofoam bits.. I saw some in wheelock place. Disney Princess ones. which would be cool. Cause she loves disney princess. If not, I can buy clothes for her. Or barbie dolls. But the irritating thing is, she is going to be primary 1 next year. So ... yucks! she's growing up!!!

Buddy birthday is also next week. He wans a targus backpack. Actually, I is willing to buy for him. But he sae dun wan. So i intend to ask dongnan and the rest to share with me. Then he not so paisei to accept the $129 bag from us. haha.. so bro, looks like you will be bringing a new bag to school! Make sure you don't give it to Jiahua ah!! And hor, start saving up for my bdae hor. OCT 6TH!! don't be so cheaplet liao hor.. can still remember, the first year we knew each other, he share a 'ah-niu' cd with another frd to give mi! thats lik $16. $8 each!! kaoz!! bwahahah

Told you everything is jumbled. actually, i know there is something i have been thinkin and discussin wif my colleagues abt d past few daes.. think i will post it tmr. giv mi one more nite to think abt it k.

Cheers!

Things might just be back to normal...

Finally can think and smile. It's like the dark thunder clouds have finally passed, and the sun has finally come out.

Got a yearning to go KTV.. See if I can dig my buddy out to go with me. If not, mebbe jio my collegues go dis sundae.. after paydae

Inconsiderate idiots..

Irritates the hell out of me sometimes, when I like plan schedules for others in such a way that they would be able to do what they had planned, while I slog my butt off. In the end, when you want to play fair, and arrange for both myself and the other party to share the load equally, they play u out or stab u in the back.

My collegue knows that I have class on Sunday afternoon. She knows if I am to work on Sundays, it must be in the office, as it is near to my tuition location. She is aware that all of our leaves and off days are on hold till 1st Aug. But you know what? She went ahead and made plans for both tomorrow and Sunday evening! As a result, I am stuck in a place which is far from my tuition. Means yours truely will have to rush and waste both time and effort just to ensure I reach my destination on time to do my job.

Why are some people just so inconsiderate? So what if you have a life? Does that mean that only you possess one, and I don't? What makes you so sure that I will be willing to carry all the shit for you while you are enjoying yourself?

Grrr... don't think that just because I keep quiet quiet, always help you to cover your work when you wanna go do your stuff, means you can step all over me. Cannot understand how a mother of 2 can be so selfish in her thinking.

It's a matter of principle for me, to ensure that I do all within my means to do my job well. Hell, of cause there are times when I just feel super lazy, and am in totally no mood to work. But at least, once I know that I am needed, I will do all I can. Not do only what's there, and just brush the dirt off your butt, then leave.

So what if our efforts is recognized via the commission that we bring back? I get pissed knowing that your working day was supposed to be from 11-8pm. Yet, just because I had sold most of the stock the previous day, you only sell what's left, then go home at 5pm. Me? I am supposed to be off. Yet I was working from 11-9.30pm! And the previous day, instead of knocking off at 8pm, I left only at 10.30pm!

Bottomline, I don't care if you think your life is unfair. Just wake up your fucking idea, and do your work properly!! :@ Cannot tahan people like these.. And just when my mood is starting to get better, and I can feel myself being happier again, I have to get strewn by all this rubbish. Damned!

Cheers!

A Little Better

Went to my aunt's house yesterday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KUKU VERON!!!

Haha. How was my mood the past few days? Eh, it has been improving slightly. Enjoyed my entire off day yesterday. Went to Chinatown in the afternoon to have lunch with my buddy. Stupid boy he, so long never see him make me laugh until so much. The 2 of us were like small kids playing at the Tom & Stephanie store in CCK. eh brother, you don't go and drink my QOO ah!

Oh yeah, u guys, what do you think about going into gift shops such as Kalms and Precious Tots? Stupid buddy say he feel very paisei, cause the shop like ah-gua ah-gua shop like that. Even going into Mini Toons, he feel paisei! So silly right? I mean, it is just a shop aint it? Only thing is that the shop is filled with cute cute stuff and all.

Heard the latest news that my weekend will be burnt again this week. Damned, I hope the crowd at the branches is good. Don't let me have complaints and crap customers please!!!!

Cheers!

Things are still not right

Stayed at home the whole day today. Had plenty of sleep, but feelings still not settled. Its like right now, anything and everything that I do, don't seem right to me. If only I am staying alone, far away from people who will just be insensitive to my feelings, far away from people who will hurt me.

For the past 21 years of my life, I have always felt that I am a very optimistic person. No matter how sad or down I feel, I just need to sleep it off, cry it out, and I will be fine. So what's the matter with me these days? I can't seem to cry my heart out. Only one or 2 tears will roll down, and that's it. Everything seems to be boiling up inside.

I want to go out and just relax, just spend some time by myself, or with close friends. But at the same time, I would rather spend the time staying at home, curled up under my blanket in the air-con room. If only I can like go to sleep and wake up like the Sheryl I used to be. I really dunno what is wrong.

I really wish that this feeling of emptiness in me will not last long. Really hope that I will get better from this 'madness' before the week is out. Really hope that I can live my life being happy, looking at things on the bright side, and seeing the glass is half-full again. Thanks for reading.

Cheers.

:P

Don't know what has been wrong with me these few days. Mood has been a major roller coaster.. One minute, I am laughing and smiling away. The next minute, I turn around, and my mood has changed 180degree..

It is to that extent where I think my brain is not even working at all. As usual, I walked home from the interchange. Have been having this habit since Poly. Whenever I am in a bad mood, or need some time to think, I will walk back. Take the half hour slow walk to reflect on the happenings of that day, smoke 1 or 2 ciggies, come up with solutions. Just now, I walked back, and my mind was in a blank. I don't know if its because I am tired mentally, physically, emotionally... Cannot even think. Heck, I could not even daydream!

My boyfriend, buddy and my good friend from work commented that I seem to be very moody, unhappy, angry even. My body is aching from standing the whole of Friday, yesterday and today at the product launch of my company. Maybe I have not have time for myself lately. I want to go swimming, lie down in the sun. Maybe go to the beach, pack a picnic, a mat or the tent, stay there from morning till night. Just reflect and enjoy myself.. Sleep in the arms of nature, surrounded by the sounds and sights and smell of the sea. I want to go some where far far away from work. I want to be alone. Yet, I want some one there to hear my rantings and ravings.

I will be going to my aunt's place sometime this week. Hope she will do a facial for me. Everytime she does it, I feel like I had consumed a sleeping pill. From the minute she light the aromatheraphy oils, and apply the first layer of cleanser on my face,  I will knock out. Untill she finish, wake me up untill she wanna scream the walls down, I also cannot pull myself awake. Maybe that is what I need. A good deep sleep.

Maybe I'm feeling like this all because of yeah.. hormonal time... fuck it, don't like to use PMS as an excuse for any and everything. But sigh.. you girls should know what I am talking about...

He gave me a box of lightsticks on Friday. Plus a packet of super small lightsticks. Am super in love with lightsticks. Whenever I break one, I will feel happy. Dunno why also. he has been having this habit of giving me lightsticks whenever I am unhappy. Guess he knows it makes me happy. Like small kid like that right. Last night, I broke one, and played with it in the dark for about half hour. Hung it on the head of my bed, and then went to sleep. Contemplating if I should break one more tonight. Love the blue and white one. But it is very difficult for him to give me a white one. Cause where he is working, they don't carry white. You guys should know what company he is working in. Which company in Singapore stocks up on lightsticks. Hint, he wears green when working. Haha. But the small one which he gave me, he bought it. 12 in a packet for $3.

I am going to break another lightstick, watch tv for a while, play with the lightstick, then go to bed liao. Thanks for reading. Good nite!

Cheers! :(

Tired

Arghhh.. I have been trying to change the template of my blog from yesterday till now! Still cannot get it done properly. I have a runtime error... *scratch head* Dunno what the fuck is that... Any one willing to shed some light for me?

Anyway, I have been busy at work these few days. Will be working non-stop till next week. This weekend is burnt. So I dunno if I will have posts k...

Cheers!

Megan

Remember I wanted to post pics of my cousin, well, here are some of the pics..








 





 




Cute?! Haha. I love her to bits!!

Cheers!

Product comparison..

Hey guys, take a look at this 2 MP3 players. Both are based on the 20GB model.
 
Creative Zen Touch 
 

Apple Ipod
 

 
 
Both of them feature a touch screen ability for you to scroll through.. No more pressing of buttons!

You can use an Up-Down movement on the touch pad to navigate the files. The upper and lower portion of the touch pad will enable rapid scrolling of files. The middle portion can be used for normal scrolling speed. Simply press the OK button or tap on the touch pad to open the selected file.


Though ease of use has always been the hallmark of iPod, we believe in constantly moving perfection forward. So iPod now incorporates the same touch-sensitive Apple Click Wheel that debuted on iPod mini. Without lifting that trusty thumb of yours from the wheel, you can easily select playlists, scroll through thousands of songs, and start the music playing. Want that song to play from the beginning again? A single click will do the trick.
 
Specs wise, how do the 2 of them match up?
 
Zen Touch

• Up to 24hrs continuous playback
• Up to 97dB Signal-to-Noise Ratio - as good as expensive hi-fi systems!
• 20GB hard drive holds up to 10,000 WMA or 5,000 MP3 songs
• Create and customize playlists on-the-go
• Unique search function locates any song, album or artist
• USB 2.0 for faster transfer
• 4-band custom equalizer and advanced EQ presets let you customize your music playback
• AudioSync™ lets you seamlessly update your Creative Zen Touch with your latest music on your PC at the touch of a button

iPod

• Up to 12hrs continuous playback
• 20GB hard drive holds up to 5,000 MP3 songs (do not support WMA format)
• Create multiple On-The-Go playlists
• Create and customize multiple playlists
• Unique search function locates any song, album, artiste, genres or composers
• Firewire 400 and USB 2.0 (include dock connector)
• Sound check and 20 equalizer settings lets you customize your music playback
• Apple iTunes™ lets you synchronise your iPod with your PCs automatically upon plug in.

Zen Touch supports WMA and MP3 formats. iPod on the other hand, supports AAC (16 to 320 Kbps), MP3 (32 to 320 Kbps), MP3 VBR, Audible, AIFF, Apple Lossless and WAV. iPod shows the menu in various languages: English, French, German, Japanese, Spanish, Italian, Dutch, Danish, Norwegian, Finnish, Swedish, Korean, Simplified Chinese, Traditional Chinese, and displays the song, artiste and album info in :Bulgarian, Croatian, Czech, Danish, Dutch, English, Finnish, French, German, Greek, Hungarian, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Norwegian, Polish, Portuguese, Romanian, Russian, Serbian, Slovak, Slovenian, Simplified Chinese, Spanish, Swedish, Traditional Chinese, Turkish and Ukrainian.

The website available for Zen Touch doesn't provide much information, while iPod's is very comprehensive.

So.... if it is your choice, which one will you purchase? I am currently holding onto an iPod 20GB, and I am really really very happy with it. Except for the fact that I feel that the earphone and remote control cable is too thin, cause I have already broken them! My darling is intending to buy the Zen Touch. Any comments? I am still trying to convert him to buy iPod, but he feels that it is too expensive. Anyway, stay tuned for more product/services comparisons in future ok?! Haha.

Cheers!

High-&-mighty people

Have an acquaintance of mine, who is such a BITCH! Really, she deserves the capital letters. You know the kind of people who will insist that they are right no matter what situation it is? Yeah, she is like that.
 
What would you do if everyone is dead tired, and either feels like sleeping at a chalet, or go home. This bitch friend of mine, kept pestering everyone to play bowling with her. Ok. All of us could not take her whining, so we went. After that, we trudged back to the chalet, thinking that we can finally get some sleep (eh, this is after we have been awake for more than 30+ hours ok). But no.. The bitch wanted us to go to the beach with her! After we said no.. We were really tired, she kicked up a bloody big fuss, saying that she is tired too, she didn't sleep much the night before and so on and so forth. But you know what was the fucked-up thing? She was at home the night before, watching TV. The rest of us were all bowling and up the entire night. On Saturday, we had spent the whole afternoon playing wild wild wet, while she was sleeping at the chalet! Such a bitch!
 
I was pissed like no body's business at her, cause her younger sis was like such a dumb idiot, didn't even know that she should keep track of her turn for bowling by looking at the monitor. So I just told her nicely, "Lisa, look at the monitor. It will tell you when is your turn". But as the alley was noisy, I spoke to her in a louder tone. That bitch then shouted at me, saying that I should not raise my voice at her sister! What the fuck!!!!!
 
Just because she was in RJC, and now in NUS, she thinks that she is much much better and smarter than everyone else. You know what, I have news for you, asshole. UP YOURS!!!! Grrr... I cannot stand people like these.. If you want to argue with me, and you have a logical stand, and have something to base your argument on, bring it on. I will NOT back away from a good argument with a worthy opponent. But if your argument is full of such crap, honestly, don't waste my time.
 
Cheers!

Something to share

A friend posted this bulletin on friendster.

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The Law of the Seed
Take a look at an apple tree. There might be five hundred apples on the tree, but each apple has just ten seeds. That's a lot of seeds! We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more apple trees?"

Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling us: "Not all seeds grow. In life, most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more than once."

This might mean:
You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job. You'll interview forty people to find one good employee. You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, one car, one vacuum cleaner, one insurance policy, or a business idea. And you might meet a hundred acquaintances just to find one special friend.

When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed.We stop feeling like victims. We learn how to deal with things that happen to us. Laws of nature are not things to take personally. We just need to understand them - and work with them.

Successful people fail more often. But they plant more seeds. When Things Are Beyond your control, here's something that you must NOT DO so as to avoid misery in your life:
- You must not decide how you think the world SHOULD be.
- You must not make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.
- Then, when the world doesn't obey your rules, you get angry!
That's what miserable people do!

On the other hand, let's say you expect that:
- Friends SHOULD return favours.
- People SHOULD appreciate you.
- Planes SHOULD arrive on time.
- Everyone SHOULD be honest.
- Your husband or best friend SHOULD remember your birthday.

These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't happen! So you end up frustrated and disappointed. There's a better strategy. Demand less, and instead, have preferences! For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself:
- "I WOULD PREFER "A", BUT IF "B" HAPPENS, IT'S OK TOO!"

This is really a change in mindset. It is a shift in attitude, and it gives you more peace of mind ... You prefer that people are polite ... but when they are rude, it doesn't ruin your day. You prefer sunshine ... but if it rains, it is ok too!

To become happier, we either need to
a) Change the world, or
b) Change our thinking.

It is easier to change our Thinking!

It is not the problem that is the issue, but rather it is your attitude attending to the problem that is the problem. It's not what happens to you that determine your happiness. It's how you think about what happens to you!

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How true ain't it? But then again, things are easier spoken then done. As much as I would like to be able to accept things which I hope don't happen, I know that is not really possible. I would have to control a lot of emotions, change a lot of characteristics. All these have to be done. A lot of parts of me, which have been such essential parts of me since 22 years ago. All changed. Swiped out of existence. Is it even possible to be achieved? Even if I change everything to accept B when I want A, will I be living my life happily? So many what ifs.

If I change myself in the hope of being happier, without knowing for sure if I will be happy, is that a good thing?

I guess, the most I can do is to try to remind myself that I should look at things from the other perspective. To be more optimistic. Yeah. I suppose that's what I will continue to do....

Cheers!

Deaths

Went for a wake last night. Came back very tired, that's why no blog. Being at the wake of my old friend's grandma brought back fond memories. This 2 friends whom I was with last night were the same ones I was hanging out with back when I was 16. That was also the year whereby my grandma died.

Seems like all old people have the same kind of behavior when they are going to leave this world. When they are in hospital, and doctors predict they will die within this day or that. Relatives and close friends start streaming into the hospital to pay their last respects (though with SARS, I don't know if this can still be done). But guess what, the patient survives, pulls through the whole time. Family decides to bring the patient home as it will be more comfortable for them.

At home, everyone fusses over the patient. When it seems like she is going to die, chaos reigns. Phonecalls are made from the house phone, mum's handphone, dad's handphone, everybody's handphone. All relatives arrive, skipping work and school. Gathering around the old folk, holding their hands, helping to close the eyes, saying things like 'Don't worry, we'll take care of ourselves, just leave with a carefree heart" NO... Again, the old folk doesn't die.

Finally, after she has said goodbye to all the people she wants to see, passed all the messages she wanted to the relevant people, on a day where few people are around her, she leaves this world silently.

That was how my grandma lived her last 2 months plus. She managed to pull through, talk to all her children and grandchildren, see all her old friends, neighbor's, and relatives. On the day where she died, it was the day where we sent her back to her own house. Cause all the time she was living in my house. Only after she was in her own 'territory' did she pass away peacefully.

Maybe we are really able to 'control' the time where we will die. Not really control as in 'oh, this time, this day'. But as in when you are at a place that holds no meaning, no memories, you will yourself not to die as yet. That's why doctors always say 'This person has very strong will-power to live on'. But of cause, this is only applicable when the person is like suffering from sickness. For those who die from heart attack, car accidents or something similar, I guess they don't really have a chance to see everyone they want to.

When the day comes for me to go, will I die like my grandma? Peacefully and in my sleep after seeing everyone I love. Or will I die in a freak accident, all alone, lying in a mangle on the road. Life really is very unpredictable. Treasure all that we have. Cause you never know when you will lose it all.

Cheers!

Everybody, smile!

Today is the 12th! Yeay.. special day for me, so I shall not try to shorten my life span by thinking hard about stuff!

Anyway, I had a great 2hours plus watching tv just now. Was laughing my head off watching this variety show which was shown over channel 56. Will not miss it at all. Don't even mind staying up till 4 just to watch it.

Actually, I wanted to post some pics of my baby cousin which I took just now. Hahaha.. She was crying! I am such a devil right... She cry, I laugh and take picture.. Mebbe tomorrow or something, I will do it.

Ok then, this is one of the rare occasions where you will see me posting such crap. From now on, if I have nothing to comment, there will be no post. Cheers to that? Yeay! (",)

Cheers!

Bitches

Watched mean girls today. It was a funny show. But then, while I was watching it, and on the bus ride home after that, I could not help myself, but question, are all females born naturally bitchy? Why don't we see guys backstabbing each other, being 2-faced idiots, and basically turning the whole world upside down?

Females really do seem to have this innate ability to create trouble every where they go. What is it in our genetic build that sets us apart from the male breed of this species? Are females really so inept in our base characteristic that we are not able to live amicably with other females? Reminds me of the documentaries which are shown on animal planet, whereby the lions and tigers and other animals live and exist in packs, and are not susceptible to the thought of additional females/males joining the pack. Homo sapiens are just like that. Except, unlike our animal friends, we are not even able to remain friends with people from our packs.

How many of you have had quarrels with the people around you, end up, you ostracize some one who used to be close to you. Yeah, thinking about this now, males are also guilty of this. But guys have life simpler. When they see something they do not like, they just curse. When they have a problem with some one, they thrash it out. You will seldom see a guy passing snide comments or bitching about another person.

Think about it. Guys are just jerks. But isn't that like a hundred, a thousand, a heck of a million times better than being a bitch?! Saying it is so much easier than doing it. But I guess, life will be so so so much better if females will stop being catty and create so much trouble. But then again, can you imagine a girl going up to another girl she detests, and say, I challenge you to a basketball game or whatsoever thing they do to settle their guy problems. Females will be females, males will be males. If females stop being so bitchy to girls they do not like, won't the world be a funny place to live in??

Cheers!

Ghost in the pic

This is a true-life pic. My uncle took it when he was much younger and he was camping. This was taken using a film camera (not digital lah!), and there was no editing done (photoshop whatsoever). Definitely is not a picture of any one standing in the background. Cause behind them, is the sea. Not reflection too, cause nothing is directly behind them (as in height-wise). The yellow/orange streaks you see around, might be the 'orbs' which people who investigate these supernatural stuff refer to. Freaky ain't it? The head looks like one of a soldier.... Anyway, hope you don't get nightmares!

Promises made to be broken?!

How many of you had had the experience of some one telling you that they will meet you, or do something, but in the end, they go back on their words? Sure, I admit that I have 'put my friends aeroplane' a couple of times. But when it comes to some one who is supposedly dear to your heart, won't there be a conscious act on your part to actually make an effort to keep to your words? To ensure that the person does not have to go through disappointment?!

Do you have any idea how it feels when some one make an arrangement with you in advance to meet up. And like 15minutes before the appointed time, you call only to find out that the other party is sleeping. That feeling is the pits man! No amount of words can express exactly how disappointed you will be. And you try to be Mr Nice Guy. So you say, "never mind. It's ok. We can always meet another day." And guess what? Half an hour later, he calls, and asks you, "did we speak on the phone just now?" Wat the fuck?!

Some of you might think that I am petty. But I just feel that I have had it up to my neck with being disappointed. When arrangements are made in advance, 7 out of 10times, something will mess up the entire arrangement. Either he'll wake up late, or not even wake up till hours later. When no arrangements are made, you will feel like a bloody damned fool. Unable to commit yourself to any other meetups with your friends. The feeling is just like you are at the beck & call of that person.

I have had so many occasions where people will say that we meet at this time this place, do this go there, and in the end, nothing of that sort materializes. When you cry in disappointment, he will try to make it up to you. Say things like "I am so sorry. I will pick you up from home on this day this time to do this and blah blah." You believe, and relent. When that day comes, he'll call you half hour before you supposed to meet. And say, "Sorry, I just woke up. Are you willing to wait for me, or do you want to make your own way there to meet me?" Worse, you call him at the appointed time, and you hear his sleepy voice telling you, "I am so sorry. I just woke up." Now, will some one please enlighten me as to whether I am really at fault for being pissed at the entire situation, and cursing and swearing away?!

Should we make promises with some one in the first place? It is really hurting to know that arrangements with me can always encounter cock-ups. But arrangements made with others will always go smoothly with no hiccups. Is the human nature so flawed that we are always so inconsiderate towards the feelings of people close to us? Is there really such a thing as 'I will keep my promise'?

I have been watching this show on channel 56 on SCV, and there was this episode whereby the lead actor said something to the effect of 'with no expectation, there will be no disappointment'. I have told myself this sentence many many many times already. But in life, I do not think that it is really possible for any body to live a life with no expectations of any one. So are we really bound to be disappointed?

Forgive me for thinking this way. But the more I live on in this world, the more I am starting to feel that it is a fucked-up world we are living in. I can't be bothered to control my language. Because I just simply am feeling too pissed right now to care. I don't wish to be cynical, and end up living my live being a nitty-picky person. But one cannot help but wonder, if life is lived with experiences like this, can we blame some one, anyone, for that matter, if they end up hardened against the finer points in life?!

Maybe tomorrow might be a better day for me, you, and every one else in this world. Maybe it might not. No matter what, I guess we will just have to wait and see. After all, life is so full of ironies. Fuck it all, and let's go to bed and sleep it all off.

Cheers!

Mouth hard Heart soft

For those of you out there who do not understand what I mean by the title of the post, read it in Chinese. 嘴硬心软 At least, this is how I think it is being written. It means literally that the person is very harsh (hard) in the words that he use or his language (mouth) when in actual fact, he is feeling (heart) the exact opposite (soft). Haha. What a crap explanation right.

I have an elder sister. And honestly, she irritates the living hell out of me. In fact, it has actually gotten to the point where I actually asked my mother last night to speak to her. Actually, my exact words were "Ma, why don't you ask your eldest daughter exactly what does she contribute to this family other than being a major pain in the ass". Naturally, my mother's answer to me was "Aiyah, your sister has a lot on her mind mah.."

How many of you have been in such a situation where you really feel like you can no longer tolerate the the nonsense being strewn at you from people who you cannot stand. You tell yourself that's it! This is the last straw! The next time she approach me for help, she will know that I mean business, and she has made the biggest mistake in her life by making me her enemy. But the very next minute, when some one bad-mouths her, that person in question comes and speak to you, you will actually jump to her rescue, or resume the conversation with her. Ain't human ironic? I mean, you had just said out that whatever she choose to do with her life is none of your business, and that you do not wish to be associated with her any more. But the next minute, you are doing exactly what you vowed not to do. Including her in your life.

Is it that our human nature is such that we really cannot hold grudges against others? I know that is not the case. Cause there are so many broken relationships existing all over the world. So then is it just that our hearts and mind are created in such a way that we would be more susceptible to some people, and more harsh towards others? Or is it that in my case, the person I am biased against is my sister, who, is related to me DEFINITELY in terms of flesh-and-blood, and therefore, I do not fall into the category of people who can keep to their words of ignoring some one.

But then again, there have been some 'friends' who I can say, is in the same situation as my sister. Meaning, I vowed to cut them out of my life. But when they call me up, I seem to have forgotten about what they have done to me previously. If you are thinking 'short-term memory' in your mind, I can assure you that is not the case. I have a very good memory. Besides, if it's really a problem with my memory, then what of the people whom I have managed to successfully cut out from my life?!

Am I practising some sort of sub-conscious memory block whereby I only remember the good of some people, and the bad of others? Or is it that there might be genetically some problems with my brain? Damned. I sure as hell know that I have been pissed till the point of no return by my sister. She can effortlessly reduce me to tears, and still have the cheek to say that she did nothing. If some brain surgeon ogeniusus is reading this post. Please leave some comments as to whether I can do some brain-washing. Selected brain-washing I mean. In fact, it must be so selected that it only applies to memories of my sister. Damned, can't wait for the day when I can say "Crystal Tan? Who?!?!" Haha. But being the fickle person that I am, I bet I will end up chickening out, and saying neh.. I want my sister after all. See! I told you I was genetically abnormal!

Cheers!

Waste of time?!

Are blogs really a waste of time?! I guess it is all up to individuals and from what perspective they are looking at. Who are the people who blog? Some just want to let others know that they are still alive and kicking in this world, some do it because they are too busy with their lives to have to meet each friend and update them on the going-ons in their lives. Others just want to grab attention in this huge cyber universe. Me? Why did I choose to set one up after dallying with the idea of having one for so damned long? I guess it might be due to the fact that I would then have a place to express all my thoughts and comments. Who cares if the only person who reads them is me. I cannot care less.

For whichever voyeuristic idiot there might be out there who might be prowling around hoping for juicy bits of the lives of others, I hate to tell you, but there might not be any updates of what goes on in my life in this blog. True, there might be a day where I will write about my stand on sex, life, having babies, relationship and what have you. But that is in no definite terms, a confirmation that it would reflect whatever I have done in real life.

I did not set up this blog to share about my day. Instead, I will be laying bare my most private thoughts and comments. Haha.. Ironical right, that I choose to place the private stuff in such a public environment. I guess it is due to the fact that sometimes, I feel like I cannot keep up with my thoughts. Also, I might not be able to be able to find some one who would honestly listen to what I have to say. In fact, the only people I think who would listen to my load of crap without asking me to shut up would be: Babies (cause they don't understand what the hell I am talking about), the deaf (cause they can't hear a word I am saying), the dumb (cause they cannot tell me in words, to shut up) and last but not least, the dead (cause they have no life?!). Haha. So, posting them on my blog would be the most ideal solution. The net cannot choose to reject my blog, and if the readers do not want to read, just click that small 'x' on the top right hand corner of your screen.

Ok. I am actually at work right now doing this. This should let you have a rough idea of how bored I am at work. I had spend the better part of my day tweaking the appearance of my blog, and I would be going home to do some more polishing. Damned, really regret not paying attention in class when the teacher was teaching web design stuff.. Oh yeah. Thanks to Zefeng boi.. who helped me to do some of the HTML stuff which I got stuck at.

Cheers!

Money!!! $$$$$

Today is once again a day full of thoughts and comments. Sometimes, I honestly think that my brain is working far, far far harder than my body is. Haha.

Ever wondered why some people can spend money like water even though their pay is lesser than yours? If let's just say that they are using their savings to support their spending, won't the savings be depleted super soon, cause there is only out and no in? Eh.. In accounting classes, we would say that person is running at a loss ;) I admit that I am also spending far far far above my ability. Am already running slightly behind on my credit card payments. And still, there are so many things which I would like to have! Lucky thing I still am giving tuition. Cause then, it would bring me extra about 200+ a month (now that it's 2 more months to PSLE, its $500 a month!!). Then, I would not have to live my life waiting for the 7th of every month. Cause that is when my pay comes in!

Gosh.. Now that I am typing this out, I just remembered that if I do decided to make this blog known to my friends (which I guess eventually I would. Cause if not, nobody to appreciate the ironies in my life :D), I would have tonnes of people telling me, "I told you so!" I know for sure my buddy would! He is ALWAYS doing that to me. Telling me that I am wasting money everytime I purchase some expensive items. And by golly, he sure as hell knows that he irritates the hell out of me whenever he does that, but there is no stopping Mr Marcus Lim when he decides to harp on the case of yours truly.

I guess this 'uncle' whom I have known since I was in primary school would also tell me that (paisei lah.. though 5years diff only our age, last time when I was 12, 17 is really old you noe! :P). He coincidentally, is the person with whom I signed a CPF investment plan with for AIA. Oh yeah.. and when I told my beloved ah yee that, she scold me say I stupid. Cause she works as a recep in Prudential, and said she could have helped me to monitor the investments which my CPF is in. She is like this super modern aunt, and I am so proud to have her! She invests in shares, stocks, bonds.. is able to click with all her nieces and nephews.. Can discuss with me stuff like relationships, pre-marital sex (for her case, it is married life sex. haha. Told you she was cool!), smoking and all! She and her husband are equally cool. I have had drinking sessions with them, smoking sessions, swearing sessions, ah-gua bio-ing sessions @ Changi V, and oh yeah. classic, topless shows and tiger shows on our holidays together.

Ok ok.. Shit man. Told you guys I was great at digressions. yeah. back to money issue. Ever wondered what life would be if there was no money involved? I mean, like back in olden times, where the people used barter trade system to purchase and sell. I mean like, yeah. 10 pebbles in return for a loaf of bread. The beach will be filled with hundreds of people. walking up and down the shore line picking up pebbles. Forget it. Scrap the idea of going back to barter trade shall we. Stick to coins and paper money. The person who invented money was a genius. But the person who invented hard work was an asshole. Oops.. I hope I would not have a nightmare tonight!

Alright. Lets cut the crap and end this here. Check back again for more nonsensical ramblings of yours truly will you?!

Cheers!

Let's start the ball rolling...

Yupz.... Been toying with the idea of an online blog for a super long time liao... But I guess the catalyst behind thoughts being put to action today is due to many turns of events happening these past few days.

I really need some where to throw my frustrations and vent my anger, spread some joy and laughter, shed some unseen tears. But then again, I guess who hasn't? I haven't really decided if I will let my friends know about this blog that I have up.. I guess to me, the main point is not about how many hits I get on the page. But an outlet for my thoughts. Some thoughts are private and I don't really want to hurt any body's feelings should they read the blog and get offended.

These few weeks, I have had people close to me, people I have finally got together again after a long time of not meeting up, tell me straight in my face that I do not behave like I am 22. Yeah sure. I admit that my behavior might not depict my actual age. But I guess that really isn't important is it? I thought the main point about growing older is that my thoughts become more matured, and not necessary my actions? So what if I behave in a worldly manner, looking at things in a cool and nonchalant manner, if the thoughts racing through my brain are... "hmm.. can't wait to get my hands on that new toy out in Toys R Us" or something like that. Yeah. I might run here and there, come up with crazy and totally absurd ideas on what to do in the situation. But my brain is functioning perfectly well, with thoughts which might be matured, and logical.

The world honestly isn't a really nice place to be living in. Look around us, and you will see how much heartache it is causing to everyone. Do we really need to add on to our individual pain and misery by behaving in such a high-and-mighty manner? I would rather take everything with a pinch of salt, and come out of the entire experience less cynical, and more humane.

I guess maybe by now, you the lucky fella who is reading my 1st ever post, will realize that this blog will not be reflecting much on what is happening around me the entire day, but in actual fact, be more on my thoughts and feelings. Of cause, I may share with you guys what I did for that day. But please don't be surprise if it starts becoming like a written debate. Some how or rather, I seem to have the knack of digressing and coming up with an ultra long 'essay'. For those who were hoping to get condensed versions of how the lives of others is being played out, I am really sorry if I disappoint you. But I have already indicated.. This is a dustbin.. Of my thoughts and feelings.

Let me know what you guys think of it ok. And if you have any thing to share about the topic which I happened to be talking about, spill it. Oh yeah. If you wanna know what an 'expert' I am in going on and on about stuff, why don't you let me know what topic you would like me to talk about? I might just write a bloody long post about it just for you!

Cheers!