Autism & Sensory friendly Christmas!

Christmas can be so stressful for the child with autism and of course for the family! Apart from the usual sensory issues surrounding the day and the anticipation for the child of what is to come their way, for parents buying presents is always done with the best of intentions. Previous years have resulted in wasting money on presents that were not opened and meltdown after meltdown, this year took some careful consideration. We now understand each other better. It only took SEVEN years! Better late then never! I really think this was our best Christmas yet. Full house on Christmas morning. We knew this year not to wrap presents and to allow for our little Autie to go for breaks in between getting his presents, he is not keen on the sound of paper ripping. I brought him upstairs with his new National Geographic planetarium in a dark room and let him just chill out. Mean while... downstairs the younger two munchkins ripped open their presents, having a great time together and this tiny little change to our usual routine made all the difference to our Christmas Day! This was the trigger to all hell breaking lose on previous Christmas mornings. I am delighted to say there were no tears or meltdowns for the day and EVERYONE enjoyed themselves.

Santas Autism/Sensory Friendly presents included ....




1. Theraputty - Fine motor skills, you can hide things in it. It is tougher than playdough so the child has to work harder to find things.

2. Mario Kart Characters -  current interest.


3. Nintendo 3DS - big hit of course. Since he has taken an interest in the DS speech has improved so much and it is a great reward and great motivation. Can become obsessed so limited time to play is advisable.

4.Jelly fish Sensory light - Thank you HMV


5.Pop up Tent- for getting away on his own for a bit.

6. A Plasma Ball - Visually stimulating and very calming.  

7. Bunny Sleepy Time alarm clock - Analog clock designed to solve problem with child getting up too early! [Worth a try will let you know how this goes ;) ] 

8. Pin Art - lets face it everyone loves Pin Art! 

Overall great hit with my son this year so thought it might help someone else as it can be quite difficult when looking for gifts as interest in typical toys is not always a given with these gorgeous kids!

Happy Christmas All! I hope 2013 is as good as 2012 if not better, here is to a great year!! 

Toys found at : http://www.sensationalkids.ie

http://www.toys.ie/

http://www.hmv.com

Embrace the crazy!

There comes a time when you eventually just accept the inevitable. Everyone has a family dynamic that is different to the next family, granted some a smidge more coocoo than others but what fun would it be if everyone had a "Stepford" family?!
Pre-marriage and babies the mental image of how you expect your family to be is usually along the lines of a walk in the park on a sunny day child up on Daddy's shoulders while eating ice cream and all children smiling and behaving nicely, or checking on your little darlings at night and they are sleeping soundly with a little night light beside their bed after you reading a story or even better they read to themselves (which may happen once in a blue moon by the way). Never do you imagine that actually your child will DETEST the park as there are far too many people and over stimulating things there and he is lactose intolerant, nowhere in Ireland will you find that dairy free ice cream is readily available at a park. Because of this your little darling is very upset and not such good behavior ensues. Never do you picture your child not having the ability to go to sleep naturally and having to be dosed with a Melatonin supplement most nights and having to follow a strict routine for bedtime that if you miss a step world war three breaks out in their bedroom. If you are consistent things will improve eventually but it takes a while to get your own head around the whole routine.
Having a child with an Autism Spectrum Disorder can affect every aspect of family life and the majority of people have a very brief understanding of autism. There are so many highs and lows for everyone in the family. To be honest unless a person is living with an ASD in their immediate family, I don't believe they can ever understand it enough. For younger children on the spectrum their siblings can be terrified of those eardrum shattering episodes at bath time or meal times. For example putting the wrong episode on of "Looney Toons" or "Tom and Jerry" (flavour of the month right now) can cause absolute uproar or attempting to put school coat and hat on before the school bus arrives, will only sleep with a particular pillow case. Everything is so specific you really need to pay attention to the little things. This is why I can only get certain people to babysit otherwise the poor person babysitting may be found rocking back and forth in a corner by the time we return all because the did not use the right cup for his orange juice.

 *One tip for meltdowns people, just let them happen! Do not try to comfort the child with autism with hugs and telling them its O.K, unless they come to you for a hug, that is on their terms. Sit beside them, let them know you are there but do not intervene unless for safety reasons obviously! They have their own coping mechanisms. Leave the room if you can't cope you will only make it worse for them! Click here for an insight into how a meltdown feels for someone with an ASD.

It is funny how in sync my boys are together. Eldest has an ASD and the youngest boy is your typical three year old. He knows no different than to accept the tantrums and can tell me the antecedent sometimes before I have realised what set his brother off! Yes he is three and wise beyond his years. I believe because he has an older brother on the spectrum he is more compassionate and understanding and really wants his brother to succeed. He looks up to his older bro. He sits in to listen every time his brother is doing flash cards and reading homework and this has meant his vocabulary is quite advanced for his age and he is well able to communicate his needs to anyone who will listen. He can also act as a spokesperson for his brother which is kind of amusing right now because he is half his size! I have one child who is painfully shy and another who steals the whole show which obviously leads to a very interesting dynamic and a never a dull moment type of atmosphere in our house.

Both boys are equally brilliant in different kinds of intelligence. Eldest (ASD) fan-friggin-tastic problem solver, reading, numbers, surprisingly high emotional intelligence (not exactly a trait of a person with  ASD) such a great sense of humour too, an introvert prefers to be alone or with a small well known group of people, enjoys his brother or anyone but him in the limelight. Youngest (NT) is everyone's  friend and everyone wants to be his friend so sociable craves social interaction, very bright re letters, numbers, able to adapt to most situations, stick up for himself and his brother and sister, an extrovert. He embraces the crazy, he does not brand his brothers behaviour as bold, he accepts him even though he drives him do-lally sometimes but who's brother does not do that?! I just wanted to share how proud I am of them and they cope better then us parents do some days. How lucky is their baby sister to have these two to look out for her?! 

The story behind our gorgeous Autism assistance dog ...

From This 

To This

When you read this... http://mycaninecompanion.blogspot.ie/

The men in my life

Looking good lads :)

Just keep swimming

So, I have written before about Diddles interest in swimming from an early age. He is a water baby yet he has not moved on from the arm bands stage. Mostly because his attention span was so short and it was just something he enjoyed doing alone (like most things really). Now that he is a little more verbal and his receptive speech has improved we have decided to take the plunge and get him one to one swimming lessons. It is so difficult to find one particular activity that he truly enjoys without anxiety creeping into his head and ruining his good time! So for the moment it's swimming and we are going to attempt to keep his interest in it and harness this natural ability he has. I watched him tonight at his first lesson. He got into the pool without anyone giving him any direction. He paddled in his floatie suit from the deep end to the shallow end paying absolutely no attention to the instructor for the first ten minutes or so. Then every so often there was a little glance in her direction. He was warming to her. She brought out some toys the first of which was a ball she threw into the water. Diddles insisted "NO BALL!" She then suggested these funky little water weights and he refused them too. She began to play along side Diddles, parallel play if you like and sure enough when he realised what the purpose of this thing was he was straight over interacting with her, lots of eye contact and giggles and answering her questions with one or two word answers. Then after 20 minutes he was actually commenting without any prompting "oh that's a big splash in the water". Em ... eight words in a sentence is just so much of an achievement for him. He has oodles of ability but unless he warms to you, you are just never going to see it! Diddles is six and a half now and his speech is finally coming, social interaction is his most challenging obstacle and it's finally really clear to us that he does want to over come it he just needs people to give him a little time! So until people can realise that he'll just keep swimming!

Diddles & Tobias

I really I have to stop leaving it so long between blog posts!!

Life is going pretty well lately for Diddles. He is coming along great with school. He is starting to read which is just the most amazing sound to hear. His sleeping habits have improved a HUGE amount since being put on melatonin. There are still some nights this does not help in the slightest but thank god they are few and far between. He is sleeping! For the first time in his life he is getting a good night sleep, which means he is less anxious and has a longer attention span. Also we have finally got our gorgeous assistance dog Toby home from his training in Cork, he has been gone for almost five months which in kid/dog years is like ... well.. forever. They had their first attachment walk just yesterday and it went absolutely brilliantly! It is such a relief because we just did not know what to expect. Diddles reactions to situations are very unpredictable, but in this case he was so comfortable with his dog. We've had Toby since he was eight fluffy weeks old and watched him grow from a clumsy puppy into a hunk of an adult Golden retriever, he is so gentle with the kids! We puppy walked him ourselves and to see him come through his official training with My Canine Companion  is just so rewarding. He's not just an assistance dog to us he's our Toby.

Autism never sleeps!

Well not in this house anyway! Let me set the scene for you.....
You are walking around downstairs packing lunches for the morning, sterilizing baby bottles, making sure there are no valuable toys or essential remote controls left within the dogs reach for a midnight snack, switching off lights when this is all done you can start locking up and set the house alarm. You drag your exhausted little be-hind up the stairs, check on all your little darlings sleeping soundly in their warm cosy beds. Reluctantly brush your teeth and collapse into your lovely soft comfy bed. You let out a giant sigh of relief, You lie there for a few stolen moments thinking this is heaven. Listen to that ........ aaaaaaaaaaah silence. You begin to drift off to a land with no nappies, whining or even the sound of your own voice. .....Until you hear it. That dreaded sound. The sound that can only mean one thing. You're sooo not sleeping any time soon!
Autism is awake!  It is the tiniest little giggle to start off with. Then it turns into full blown self talk conversations, scripting their entire day start to finish, including any TV programmes he may have watched or apps he may have used on his ipad that day. (My son is "non-verbal" .... not at night time!!) Then when he is fully awake still chatting to himself he wanders into your bedroom . You try to take him by the hand and bring him back to his bed and he stays there ..... for about 30 seconds! And before you know it his 3 year old brother is awake and they are both hi-jacking your bed. This is not a new thing for us, I mean Diddles is 6 now and I honestly can not remember if he has ever slept well. Infancy maybe but then I had nothing to compare his sleep patterns to, he was our first so everything seemed exhausting. I remember a few years ago complaining one day in work about being exhausted and some one suggested the super nanny bed time routine, we tried that and needless to say but it was an "Epic Fail". This was before I had heard the word Autism and my sons name spoken in the same sentence. So many Children with autism find pleasure in repetitive behavior so therefore me taking him by the hand and bringing him back to his bed 50 times a night had him laughing his little head off. He found this hilarious. This was not good for his poor parents working a full day after maybe 2 hours broken sleep. Things had to change! I knew deep down that I was doing everything I possibly could to relax him and it simply was not working, I felt like I was going insane with the lack of sleep. Then it became all I could think about. I was getting throat infection after throat infection from being so run down, I was an emotional wreck what the hell was I doing so wrong?!
When "D" day came along and we got the diagnosis of Autism it was a really sad day but it also confirmed that this was not my fault this was a neurological disorder and when I heard insomnia was a common trait I was so relieved we had an explanation... well sort of seen as there is no known cause or cure for Autism but anyway. We began to tackle his sleep issues.
First of all we introduced a visual schedule of his bedtime routine.
Secondly, Then we began to look at under lying issues, we learned that his diet had a major impact on his sleeping schedule. He had an intolerance to Dairy and gluten, we found this out after we had him tested by a local Microbiologist as he suffered from a sudden on set of terrible diarrhea. Known as a leaky gut, his immune system could not absorb the nutrients and vitamins he was consuming. He was constantly sick, ear infections, colds, vomiting bugs he caught everything going and it did not matter that I had been giving him a balanced diet and vitamin C etc, because nothing was going in. We did a detox of dairy first and then a week or two later gluten. It is quite difficult to get you're head around the diet at first but it does become second nature after a while.
We found that his health improved a huge amount, rarely now would he get sick maybe once or twice a year, I think this has been down to the change in diet and the introduction of supplements also. We use Calcium, magnesium and zinc, a pro-biotic and an iron supplement. The Gp just prescribes antibiotics left right and center and you are never told if this will affect your childrens health in the long run so if you have to give one give a pro-biotic also! After we followed through on these things his language started coming and he lost that far away look in his eyes and started making eye contact. You could see how much happier in himself he had become and his personality began to shine threw. Autism will always be in our home but there are things you can do to help some of the symptoms.

Thirdly, His insomnia is still an issue he just can not switch off and he is afraid of being alone so recently we went down the road of getting a prescription of melatonin for him. This works well with the initial send off to sleep but again it does not keep him asleep. Maybe two nights of the week he will wake during the night now but at least we are all getting some sleep!!!
We are bringing him again to have food intolerence testing done to see if there is something else like a food allergy/ intollerence that is keeping him awake, we are also getting him assessed for ADHD so will find out soon. I really believe food and routine are the answers but I am still working on them! Wish me luck !! :)




(*Images courtesy of google)

The Massacre of Curious George!!

This is Diddles 6th Birthday cake which was made from scratch by his Nanna. It was a gluten and dairy free Curious George cake. Her blood sweat and tears went into making this for him before it met its untimely demise. You see young Diddles hates hearing people singing "Happy Birthday", especially to him! 
 Not only is he hearing peoples awful off key singing but he is forced into a social interaction that he simply can not process. When he first walked into the room and set eyes on the cake and everyone standing around it he immediately bolted out and went to hide under the stairs, hands over ears and verbal stimming.
After a lot of coaxing with the promise of chocolate cake he returned to the scene in the kitchen. He made a beeline for it and pulled Curious Georges head clean off!! He then proceeded to demolish the remains of the body until all that was left was mulchy crumbled icing. Everyone of us stood in the room unable to move, rooted to the spot in disbelief, I personally wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. My poor Mam all her hard work. He felt that strongly about his hatred of hearing happy birthday being sung to him. Not that we would have sang it anyway knowing how he feels we thought he would have been delighted to see a Curious George chocolate cake all for him. How wrong were we ! .....

"If evolution really works how come mothers only have two hands?" milton Berle

So it has been one hectic year and it is about time I updated this blog before I lose track of all our progress we've made this year! We have two new additions to our family since my last post in May. First to arrive was our gorgeous Golden Retriever puppy Toby, and second to enter our lives is my beautiful baby girl who we are absolutely besotted with beyond all expectation, I mean I knew I would be in love with her from the moment I felt her first kicks in my belly but my god baby love on a whole other level. I guess because she was such an amazing surprise for us this year. First of all total surprise of being pregnant again and secondly I was so convinced I was having another boy. The anomaly scan at 22 weeks didn't convince me in the slightest despite the doctor telling me she was a girl, I was terrified that I'd get my hopes up for the splash of pink through out my house. I adore my boys and a baby girl just completes the brood, it really feels like we have achieved the perfect balance now. Feel very blessed right now by our little family!

This past summer had been relentless to put it mildly! Not to be dramatic or anything but I feel like I was physically and mentally pushed just within my limits. Looking back I don't think I would have taken on so much at the one time. I did not have a bad pregnancy however I did have a very emotional one. I think I may have cried myself a small river, at the time there was a new unwelcome killjoy tenant in my house "Captain Hormone" (as my Husband likes to call me on such occasions). It took a friend to actually point out all that I had going on was so stressful. After all, we had an attention seeking two year old, a very active 5 year old with autism who seemed to be awake 22 hours of the day and a new mischievous puppy with boundless energy and a very hormonal, sleep deprived pregnant mother stuck at home in groundhog day mode.
We decided one day before Diddles finished school that we would get a puppy. Diddles absolutely LOVES animals and we knew we would eventually get a dog. In fact we have had our names down on waiting lists for an assistance dog for over two years at this point. It was probably too impulsive and a decision based on cute pictures and hormones but I don't regret it because now we have our beautiful Toby. Who we are now training to be Diddles assistance dog thanks to a new Irish charity called My Canine Companion. I found it through an Autism Mommy friend on Facebook and it was the perfect timing considering we had such an instinctive decision to buy Toby. This picture was the first day he got his vest he was about 13 weeks old and we were able to start "Puppy walking" him. Which basically means we brought him everywhere, shops, cafes, restaurants, relatives homes etc. and let him become accustomed to all noises and smells. He has the ideal temperament, very friendly, loves the kids and quite easy to teach so for all these pro's I forgive him for being so hairy, making me hoover several times a day. We would be lost without him now, himself and the boys are great friends.
I have Diddles in the habit of giving him his first feed of the day before he goes to school. He is quite tuned into Toby in a weird way, he looks out for him, he wont let Toby chew on anything he shouldn't be, he initiates a game of chasing with him, Diddles worries about him if he runs too far during a free run. I really love that Diddles is involved in his training, it teaches him so much, Compassion, responsibility, he is more aware of his own safety and others around him as he is more focused! I am not trying to sell it, I am merely noting the differences Toby has made in Diddles life.

Our little Princess or as Madman called her baby five is now 4 months old and thriving, sleeps all night smiles most of the day by far the angel of the house at the moment however I am under no illusions that at some stage she will make up for it. Right now we are enjoying every "goo" and "gaa" out of her. She is certainly letting us know she has a voice! That's my girl make your voice heard among the madness. She gets that from her Mammy ('',)
How lucky is she to have two big bro's looking out for her! Madman did not bat an eyelid at the fact that he was not the baby of the house anymore. We were expecting curly headed green eyed monster to emerge, however pleasantly surprised that he really enjoys the big brother role. He loves to boss people about and therefore fits the role perfectly. Not a day goes by that I don't think Madman was meant for the stage, never fails to make you laugh especially in the most serious situations you just can not give out to him without fighting a smile! Butter wouldn't melt as they say. This kid is going places mark my words!


 As stressful as I found it last summer the outcome was so worth it because my son (aside from his siblings) made his first friend and also my baby girl made it here safe and sound. I am a firm believer in the saying "you have to work hard for anything worth having in this life".