Welcome to Autie town population ...YOU. What worked for us...

Trying new things with your little Autie can be really daunting, not only for the child but especially for us parents!
Every child is different so these things may not be everyone's cup of tea, however
This post is focused on new things we have tried with our 5 year old over the past few years in an attempt to get him talking and interacting, he was completely non-verbal until he was three and now he has a broad store of language to help him communicate, He is still not totally there conversationally but his understanding has come on so much in the last year especially. So here is a list of what worked for us so far....

Music - When Diddles was almost 3 he had no words other than "Mammy" and "Daddy" and very limited eye contact. I researched speech delay and I found some Nursery Rhyme tracks on itunes and every opportunity I got I would put on that music. The rhyme's were catchy silly songs with ABC's etc. I would especially play these in the car were he was confined to his car seat. His reaction to the music at first was hands over the ears and humming to block the sounds out and I was tempted to stop playing it for fear it was hurting him (this was pre-diagnosis of ASD). Then one day he was playing with his cars and I heard him humming and then singing some of the words, not very clear but this was amazing to us. He then started to sing when he wanted to hear the music again, I went with my gut and started dancing around to the music like some silly lunatic woman with him. He thought this was hilarious, it brought on eye contact and interaction like never before with him. It proved to me he could listen and pay attention to things that sparked an interest in him. And what child doesn't like acting ridiculous sometimes?


Animals - We discovered when he came into contact with animals he became calm and focused. They had a really soothing and calming affect on him. They still do to this day. We are on the waiting lists for an autism assistance dog although we still have a bit of a wait left before we get one.                                                                                                                                            For his fifth birthday we started him off horse riding. This has been a major breakthrough with him. Like everything at first he was terrified but that was because it was so new. I find persistence with Diddles is all he needs, that extra push and he becomes fearless and willing and more confident. Now it is one of his favourite things to do. He has the same pony every time so there are no surprises for him when he arrives. He stays on the pony for the full lesson and leads him back to the stables and brushes him down when finished. He is engrossed in this absolutely loves every minute of it.

Visually strong Diddles is very strong visually, he registers the tiniest of details and we discovered this when he would point out things to us that we would not usually notice, for example a bird in the far distance of a photograph or a car with different color reg plates etc. We had to figure out how to harness this. We began with flash cards bright, colorful and basic. In the beginning to get his interest we had to bring his finger over to point at the image on the card and he would begin to say the word. Now I can show him text for some words and he can read it. It has taken A LOT of repetition but it has worked.
                                                I can not possibly do this post without mentioning the fantabulous ipod touch! To begin with apps like ABA flash cards and ilearn2talk and itouch ilearn  , countless YouTube videos of the educational and of course entertaining kinds (Thomas the tank engine in Japanese or Maters tall tales en espanol!), Touch pet dogs is one of his favourites as well as Stick figure games and feed me app. The only thing I will say as a warning is it can become an obsession so I try to limit the time he has it. I try to use it as a reward mostly, but he has been known to sneak it past me!
Also to briefly mention some websites to help with starting out on making visual aids/ pecs etc. There are lots of websites out there I found these to be great when starting out!

• http://www.setbc.org/pictureset/
• http://www.sparklebox.co.uk/ireland/
• http://www.visualaidsforlearning.com/
• Google images - for anything you can not find in pictures sets google will have it!

Social stories a brilliant discovery I made is Story builder software its free to download and you can add your own images and it gives sample story to help start you off.

People games When I completed the Hanen programme More than words, we discovered people games! These were brilliant for drawing him out. A lot of acting the gobsheen on my part but worth it to hear the results.


#1 The blanket swing. Lots of repetition and the aim being he started the game and used more language and understanding and taking turns.

#2 Chasing - Aim was taking turns again and initiating the start and finish of the game. Keeping it interesting with tickles and funny faces really helps.

#3 Toy racing - wind up toys having a race, understanding the rules and being patient were the aims here!

#4 Balloon game - blowing up the balloon, letting it whizz around the room or screeching it (some sensitive ears might not allow and others find it hilarious). Getting the speech going and initiating the game.

eg. Big bubble, small bubble, wet bubble etc.

#6 Videos - We discovered one day that if Diddles was totally engrossed in the TV or video that if you intervene and pause it or rewind programme it in itself is enough motivation to get some new language out of him.
"I want to play it again" or "press play please".

#7 Making Jelly/ Rice crispy cakes

#8 Making a home- made obstacle course - using toys, chairs etc.

Sensory play

• Play Dough is a favorite. 
• Water - cups in the kitchen sink/ kids pool (if the sun ever comes back to Ireland) 
• Sand pit - He loves the texture, Salt in a lunch box does the same thing.
• Resistance straws - have race blowing pieces of cotton wool.
• Trampoline/bouncy castle/bouncing on a therapy ball/gym ball

Anyway my whole point in publishing this post is in the hope that it might help anyone starting out on the Autism voyage. Its not easy to get your head around everything in the beginning, it's overwhelming and sometimes we need a little inspiration! Especially when it drains so much of your energy waiting for services. This is all DIY ideas that worked for us.


(Images courtesy of google images, videos courtesy of YouTube)

Autie Boot camp toilet training

Well it has been over two months since my last confession post and this is down to a huge surprise our little family had in February. It has taken this long to come around to the idea and I am finally able to write about it. Due to tiredness and constant nausea I have not been able to read any blogs or emails or even open a laptop, the most I have been online is briefly on my phone. By now I am sure you have guessed it. Yes I am pregnant.....again. I have to admit it took a while to get over the shock of it! Now that I have, I am really looking forward to a new baby in the house.

Which also means I have sooo much to do before the new arrival which is due in October by the way. My list seems to be getting longer by the day. Toilet training Diddles was No.1. I had been waiting for the nausea to subside before embarking upon the potty training boot camp I had planned for the Easter break. To have to change three sets of nappies in October is an unbearable thought.

Someone up there must have been looking out for me because the Friday that Diddles finished school for his Easter break I got a call from his teacher letting me know she thought he was ready to say goodbye to pull-ups. Luckily enough my morning sickness had subsided that very week and I had a little more energy to give it a good shot.
Needless to say I have spent the past week and a half walking around with dettol and a mop permanently attached to my arms and asking 5 gazillion times a day " Do you need to go toilet?". I had plenty of reinforcements for him at the ready, Ipod  touch (First toilet, then Ipod was the deal), favourite books, DVD cases (he loves to examine). Diddles has a lot of sensory processing issues so I had also started him on his sensory diet as part of his occupational therapy which consists of Therapy brushing, joint compressions and the therapy ball etc etc. I found once he was regulated, calmer and not pacing back and forth or jumping all day he can concentrate for a lot longer. I have to say after four days of almost pulling my hair out he got the gist. At first I set the stopwatch on my phone to every 30 minutes, I brought him EVERY 30 minutes from the time he woke up until he was going to bed for the first 2/3 days whether he need to go or not. He worked it into his daily routine. There has been no sight nor sound of a pull-up near him, even at night. No accidents at night so far. He is going all by his very self now.

 There have been one or two accidents during the day but nothing too disheartening. I had people always saying to use reward charts and stickers and cheerios in the toilet to sink etc. All great ideas but they don't work for everyone, Diddles could not have cared less about getting a sticker on a chart, I think if you go with your gut instinct you are more likely to have success.  It is such a relief, I can not tell you how many times I have tried this over the past 3 years and failed miserably, The only things different this time are he is older and the OT sessions have helped so much with his concentration and I suppose the fact that I understand Autism much more than I did before. I never thought I would be so happy to have my 5 year old toilet trained!!

That's Diddles 1 Autism 0.

More than words!

I found the most difficult part of discovering your child is on the Autism spectrum is realising you have to almost rewire your brain to understand the situation. Every thing you assumed came naturally to a child all of a sudden has to be taught to them (a lot of the time in pictures).
How to learn to play, feed themselves, toileting, speak. "Typical" kids seem to pick it up from listening and watching their parents and siblings, but kids on the spectrum need that extra help to understand the simplest of daily routines. Last May when we received the official diagnosis of Autism for Diddles, Myself and the Hubby had no idea where to start. There are no handbooks given to you, no point in the right direction where to turn to for advice or help. You are handed this report and given a list of schools and told your on a 10 month waiting list for therapy after you write a letter of referral yourself. I don't think this is good enough. All I'll say is thank god for the Internet!

After receiving our Assessment of need report I remember heading straight home, turned on my laptop. I had an email from a speech therapist I had spoken to a few months before. She had been trying to run a Parent course called More than words but she could not get the numbers she needed to go ahead with it then. The email stated that she was going to run the course later that year and also asking was I still interested in attending. When I say this was meant to be it is an under-statement!
Without a second thought, I went and did the course, we had absolutely no services and could not afford private speech or occupational therapy (@ €90 - €120 p/h). I didn't really know what to expect from it.
It turned out to be exactly what I had been looking for. I swear someone up there is looking out for us.

Diddles was four when I started the course and he had not had any therapy or services because it took us so long to get the assessment of need done.
More than words taught me how to play with him again, and that my friends is priceless!
It taught me all about his sensory needs and how these effect everything he does. Which before I knew some "habits" he had were sensory but this opened my eyes to just how much he is effected by autism.
It taught me how to teach him to use language, to slow everything down and to really listen to his attempts to communicate with us. I learned all about his echolalia, scripting and all about visual routines.
The difference in him and ME and his Dad AND brother and Nanna, we all understand each other a lot better. Every parent to a child with autism (obviously depending where they are on the spectrum) between the ages of 3 and 7 should have to do this in my opinion. Its DIY therapy, you already have most of the tools and you don't even realise it.
When I started the course Diddles had no more than a 30 second attention span, he was constantly running around and jumping and singing. Now I know why he does it. From working on him with all the visuals and people games and helping him understand. We discovered he is actually really interested in books. (Before he flicked through the argos catalogue)He did not know how to look at a book and He is now interested in a story at bedtime, he'll happily lie in bed and look at the pictures and talk about it. As opposed to hop in and out of bed 20 times and sing over you while you're trying to read to him.

All I know is this really worked, a few steps in the right direction. I wrote this for the parents who are just starting out and may feel a little helpless in the beginning just like I did. It does not solve everything but it gives you a great insight into their world and I would definitely recommend doing the More than words Hanen program.

Ah HUGE Thank you to Catts Ireland for everything! Can not thank you enough.

Us parents have super powers ya know!

I have been conjuring up a survival list for us Parents of overly active little darlings. There are a few super powers we have that are essential to survive in Autieland.

#1.  Unlimited energy supply

#2.  The ability to survive a day on an hours sleep. (Thank heavens for caffeine!)

#3.  Psychic ability to understand the non-verbal. 

#4.  Excellent gut instinct - especially in the case of illnesses and causes of meltdowns.

#5.  The ability to think and run at the speed of light - for chasing after your little flash gordon when they dart off in public!

#6.  That fire in your belly that makes you fight for their entitlements, be it for their Education, Therapy, Assessments, Medical help, etc. Take no bull!

#7.  Accepting that not everybody understands the concepts of Autism, some just don't get it!

#8.  Keeping an open mind - ANYTHING is possible, there is more than one way to live in this world!

#9.  Remembering that those who mind DON'T matter and those who matter don't mind! You learn very quickly who your true friends are.

#10.  Knowing that its perfectly ok to have your own meltdowns sometimes!

so there you have it and there is probably a million more where they came from.

You are super and don't you forget it ! x

Keeping the ball rolling..

We have had such a busy few weeks have not had a minute! Diddles profile was chosen by the Autism team in the University of North Carolina for the 5 day Teacch programme to be a little co-trainer. The programme was for various teachers of ASD units all around Ireland to learn methods for teaching children and teenagers with Autism. I was so nervous about his first day on the course. He does not usually react well to a large crowd. I did not know what to expect, maybe it was not his but my fear of the unknown I was nervous about. It was such a good insight  into what kind of schedules suit him. I have blogged before about using visuals for his daily routines and while he was part of the programme I discovered how well he responds to object schedules. I had never even heard of an object schedule before last week! In a few days the teacher had trained him to exchange an object for each part of his daily routine. For example a small hand soap dispenser for needing to go to the toilet, a Thomas the tank engine for play time, a crayon for table top activities, a cup for lunch time, these are but a few of the objects used and in only five days he knew them off by heart.

 It must have been very intensive training because he arrived home asleep on the escorts shoulder one day and he slept like a log for the week! They brought the kids swimming and the teacher told me after that he was a real water baby and would not get out of the pool, they had to swim in after him to get him out. I know he loves the pool but I was still nervous because he had never been to that particular pool. It may be that it is just in our nature to worry as mothers. All I know is I can't help it, I worry a lot about him. He is proving to me time and time again that he can accept change and new adventures and the majority of the time he takes it all in his stride. I think the course was great for him, now his teachers have the tools to teach him the way he needs to be taught.
 It is such a pity that we were told he is too old for that particular unit next year, He really settled in amazingly there. I am applying to a list of ASD units some local some not so local in the hope that where ever he goes they keep the ball rolling. Waiting lists are Irish (therefore not coping with the demand!). From what I have heard most of the issues the schools have in opening or continuing with the ASD units are the inability to obtain the proper services. Cutbacks, cutbacks and more cutbacks. A school place should not be an issue but it is for so many kids like Diddles. I just hope some politicians come knocking on my door soon regurgitating their prepared pitches for the election. Oh what an earful they'll be getting from me! Now is the time he needs stability to help him cope with what life throws at him. Hopefully by the next time I post I'll have better news on the school-front.

Try, try again!

Days out used to be a nightmare with Diddles when he was 3/4, he was like an overgrown very irritated toddler but now that he is 5, it is like something has clicked and he has new interests emerging all the time! We brought him bowling for the second time ever yesterday and he was so focused and absolutely loved that he could be involved in the game. He was so excited and yet still patiently waited for his turn to come around ( and there were 5 other people to take turns). "Patiently" and "waited" are not words I would usually have near a sentence with his name in it! It is great to see an interest that is not computer game related or TV related. He got a real thrill from bowling and even managed a spare or two! 

We also brought the boys to a kids amusement center afterward and he got on the bumper boats with his Dad. After refusing only once and then ten minutes later he realised it was safe and said "I want boats please". This seems to be a pattern with him, he always refuses once then goes to mull over the concept for a while and gives in to his curiosity. So it seems the protest is only fear of the unknown.

On summer holidays last year we realised he was a real water baby! I can not swim. I never learned and I am very ashamed of that fact. Me being a true Piscean and all! I am a wimp but I really am trying to conquer the fear, My brother has been trying to teach me on holidays over the last two years. I always seem to think I'm drowning when my head goes under the water I panic and end up swallowing a litre of chlorine (blech!) I'll never stop trying until I get it! 

But Diddles AMAZED us in the water. I actually could not believe how fearless he was. He put on his little life jacket and either jumped into the pool or carefully walked down the steps (depending on the mood), then he proceeded to swim the whole length and breadth of the pool, a lot of the time in the Deep end. He actually taught himself to swim. Needless to say he slept better on that holiday then he ever has!

  Madman has been really benefiting from all the DIY speech therapy I have been doing at home. He has not stopped yapping, Talk about complete opposites as toddlers! The only time he's quiet is if he knows he is up to no good or stuffing his gorgeous little face. He is the biggest flirt, a regular little Casanova, every female, be it Police woman or cashier in a 10 mile radius gets a really loud "Hiiiiiiiii", a wave and a huge (almost toothily) smile. He is a little character in the making. He even has the most Macho walk I have ever seen on a one year old! MAD but in a great way. The only references to Toddlerdom we have had are those of his Autie brother so this is all new for us! He never fails to make you smile!

Deep in meaningful conversation in a pub! (He's definitely starting early)

Life.Is.Loud!

My little angel is 5 this week and I could not be more proud of him.
He has opened my mind to so much since he came into this world.
I never pictured my baby's ability to teach me before I became a mother.
I hurled myself into the role of Motherhood without thinking really and now that I am here, I actually feel very humble to be his parent. I could spend my days wallowing in the fact that Autism can run our house from time to time each day but what would be the point in that? I have decided that I am going to give it my best shot.I figure he is my blank canvas and I have to pay attention to every detail to help him express himself.

I wish everyday that others could understand him the way I do. He is funny, caring, playful, clever and very happy. However other people only see the Autism that clouds his brilliant personality underneath it all.

Since everyone has heard he has been diagnosed with Autism, people tend to speak to him like he has hearing problems. Why is it so hard to understand that if someone is not looking into your eyes or responding to you immediately that they are not deaf?! They do not need you to speak slowly or enunciate every syllable, maybe there is so much going on in the room that they can not focus on a human voice. They are hearing the hum of the fridge or the lights are too bright or there is a dog barking, the TV is on or a phone ringing. If you really allow yourself to think of how life feels for them, Life is Loud! That said that does not mean you have to avoid talking to them all together, it is not that they do not want to talk to you, it is that they don't have the communication skills or social skills to initiate a chat with you.

 He has moments of clarity that absolutely amaze me, I have learned to appreciate every word, every glance, every kiss, every hug. It is a huge effort on our part as parents to help them be the best that they can be. I could not count the amount of times a day that I would think of how to make things easier for him, taking notes of things I should have a visual aid made for or a game that could help him comprehend how to share with his brother or how to make dressing himself easier and fun. It is all worth it when you get one of those moments of clarity, it can happen anytime.
We were practising his dressing routine one night before bed and he said to me "Mammy I want to dance, let's go!", That sentence was his first of that length and it was just so amazing to hear. I mean you really work on them and will them to speak and live for that first real conversation. The last few months he has had some emerging spontaneous speech and it really does leave you thirsty for more. Those moments are addictive, it is like a drug, you are getting your fix of happiness. There is real meaning in his words, it is not an echo from his favourite TV programme, or singing over you when you speak, it is real talking and eye contact. These days give you the strength to push through the bad days. We were sitting in the car park in a local retail outlet and he was staring out the window when all of a sudden he started to spell the names of the shops. "H E A T O N S" " H A R R Y  C O R R Y", now he didn't pronounce the words but he got each letter right. I swear these are the moments you wish there was a psychologist in the car so you can say see I told you he can do it. He has never done this in front of any of the early intervention team or teachers etc. Probably because the places you go to get these assessments carried out are so unfamiliar and the kids spend their time getting used to their surroundings as opposed to actually showing their true potential. Diddles has come such a long way since he turned 4, In a year it is unbelievable. Now if I could just get the services to harness it we would be flying! Until then we'll keep working on him.

Happy Birthday Diddles "Lub you very this much" xxxxxxxx




(pics courtesy of google images)

Getting to know me .... hmmmm

Ok so the theme for this weeks Blog Gems @Jen's The King and Eye is getting to know each other a little better and seen as I am still a newbie at this I have not written a post about me. So here goes.....

1. I have been sarcastic since around the age of 10. I am not sure exactly when it happened but I can not seem to help myself. I have a bit of a goofy quirky sense of humor, a bit of a comedy nerd really. Favorite nights out lately (when they happen) would be to a good stand up comedy gig in Dublin. I love to laugh! But who doesn't?

2. I am my own worst enemy as I analyse eeeeeeverything. I over think things until they have lost all meaning.

3. I come from a single parent family. I had a great childhood Just me, my Brother and my Mam. I have a big extended family but I have always wanted a big family (2 kids at 24. lol I am half way there!)

4. I worked as a Bar person for 6 years, through school and college. I loved it, always something happening and new people to meet, great craic. I also met my Husband  in that job and now both of us have left the bar trade 8 years ago. Although It still only seems like yesterday.

5. I am so quiet when I first meet someone and I eventually come out of my shell. I am the worst person ever for public speaking, it is probably one of my worst fears! I think it comes from the early years of school and the teacher makes you stand up and write your 12 times tables on the blackboard and you can never remember the last few. Probably because you were more interested in writing in your "secret diary" at that age ha.

6. I have had a slight obsession with all things Spanish since first year in secondary school and it is probably the only interest I have ever kept going. Everything else just seems to fall by the wayside. Over the years I have tried my hand at Tennis, basketball, salsa dancing, singing and non of these ever lasted. Although I am still very fond of all of them, there always seems to be a pin in them to come back to later.

7. I have an ambition to travel the world and I intend to keep this one. We have had to postpone it as it has been a very eventful 8 years. I had Diddles, we saved for our house, we got married, we bought our house, I had madman and then Diddles was diagnosed with Autism so here we are. Maybe when I hit the big 40. Which gives me about 15 years lol.


Fingers crossed all going well :)

Echoboy.....

One of the symptoms of Autism that I find fascinating and yet sometimes as a parent can grate on your last nerve is Echolalia.

For a child that is considered "Non-verbal" Diddles does an amazing amount of talking. For those of you who are not familiar with the concept of Echolalia there are two types. Immediate Echolalia (also known as parroting, repeating the exact words or sound directly after hearing it) and delayed Echolalia (repeating a word or sound an hour,a day, a week after hearing it). It is not just a symptom of Autism, it can also relate to tourette's syndrome etc. etc. Immediate Echo is for example me saying "Would you like Juice?" and his answer to me would be "Would you like Juice?".  Diddles does both Immediate and delayed, which is pretty common with kids with an ASD apparently. It is the delayed "Echo" that amazes me as he can repeat an entire script from a TV advert or TV show at perfect pitch and sometimes in the exact accent he hears. It can also remind you of a broken record at times as it is repeated SO often!

The first incident with it that sticks out in my mind was when Diddles was about 2 and he was sitting in the trolley while we were doing our weekly food shopping. We were half way through the supermarket and the queue's were long, people everywhere. All of a sudden we heard this little voice shouting "HELP!", we were looking around to see where it was coming from when we realised everyone was staring at us because it was Diddles. Bare in mind that he had never said more than "Mama" or "Dadda" before this. He was shouting HELP! as if he was being dragged away by 8 foot monsters. Barry and I looked at each other both flushed with big red faces, shrugged and laughed it off awkwardly. "Oh he's just playing he he," I remember sheepishly saying to fellow shoppers who were actually starting to look concerned. Yes we kidnapped this child and brought him .... you guessed it FOOD SHOPPING! I think not! We could not just abandon our shopping so we had to endure the "HEEEELP!" shouting even in the queue. We realised when we got home that he had been repeating a line out of the pixar movie Cars.

He also used to walk around in public echoing the advert for Subway in a very angry french accent, you might remember it. It went something like this .... "Whats the matter? Too Hot? Too Spicy?" "HOT! HOT!" Now can you imagine people walking by and Diddles (a 3 year old half pint with blonde curly hair) re-enacting a role played by a giant jalepeno pepper?? 

He has repeated entire episodes of Thomas the tank engine while playing with his trains. One time at the perfect moment he said "Well bust my buffers You're right James" to a man who asked him was he four years old. Then he turned on his heels and ran into the house. His timing is what makes you giggle!

His current favourite is saying "Bless you" at the weirdest most random moments. He picked it up from a kids TV show when all the characters sneeze and they say bless you. The great part is that if he uses the language enough he begins to put it in context and builds it into his vocabulary. Now if I sneeze he says "Oh bless you Mammy". He might not tell you his name when you ask him but at least he's polite when you sneeze! :)