It's been a while again... it's been up and down and up and up and down now. I feel terrible. It's that emotionless state, yet knowing that my heart is sinking and my thoughts are nothing more than negative. Is it a first world problem? When we have everything, we feel like we have nothing. The thoughts of meaninglessness are creeping back into my head.

It's been busy at work, slightly stressful but not really overwhelming, but I'm not coping well. I can't seem to get anything done, or when i do, it's after a lot of inefficiency being unable to concentrate.

I want to just quit my job and hide at home. I wonder if a little hamster buddy will keep me more occupied rather than overthinking.

Very numb... grumpy... impatient... i feel best when I'm sitting on the sofa at home just watching tv... or reading some quora... or sleeping...

The happiest thing that happened to me in a long long time is to find out that Duncan has been adopted. He looks so happy in the photos and that brings a tear of joy to my eye. Perhaps I'm really not the one for him.

Last night i fell off my sofa and broke my little toe.

So i was snoozing on the sofa and suddenly i woke up and decided to take a shower.  My left leg was numb but i didn't realise it, and when i tried to stand up, i fell flat immediately.  i landed on the left small toe area... there was a piece of skin under the little toe that was flapping after that, some blood flowing, and the toe feeling odd.  i soaked up the blood with some tissues and had my shower before putting on a plaster and going to bed.

i dreamt that i was going up and down steps... bai kar.  i thought my little toe was throbbing a little too.

When i woke up this morning, i knew i should go for an x-ray to check it out because something didn't feel right.  Thankfully the trip to the hospital didn't take too long and it turns out i snapped my little toe.  :(  It's not a hairline fracture.  It's a clean snap.  Thank goodness it's not a compound fracture though. 

Looks like sleeping on the sofa is a much more dangerous sport than hiking or mtb-ing. 

So now it's bandaged to it's neighbouring toe and i'm given 10 days of hospitalisation leave.  This is absolute madness...

Well, good thing is that i'm not in any pain - just a bit of discomfort when i put full weight on my left foot.  Happy CNY... -.-