Seeing the groups of teenagers going to sentosa...

It's so much easier to organise such group outings during the younger days. These days, to even find a dinner slot for a group of 4 is crazy. Work, spouse/family commitment, travels... 

I kinda miss those days.

Almost sprained my left ankle on the trail just now... Miss this small root and almost went down.  The ankle is still feeling a bit strained but hopefully it'll be 100% functional again soon.

i haven't been feeling like riding recently and Mich & PG suggested to go hiking today instead.  After having this mega & sumptuous teochew porridge brunch, we started walking from Bukit Timah to Upper Pierce.  It was drizzling but that neither spoilt our moods nor dampen our spirits.  The trails were not crowded at all.

We saw many little creatures!

Geckos
Gecko crossing on a branch over a stream
Wild monkey eating branch
Fluorescent green snake trying to catch its prey
Blue scorpion
Squirrel
Ant nests precariously structured on the middle of branches
Bird nest hanging precariously off creeper on the ceiling of flyover
Many fishes & a snake head in the clear streams

The scorpion incident was comical.  We were on the trail, M in front and PG behind me.  i was following M closely when the turquoise scorpion suddenly appeared.

Me: GYAAAAAAAA!!~~ (and jumped back)
PG: (behind me and not knowing why i screamed) AAAAAHHH!!!!
Mich: (turned back in shock) ???
Me: (pointed at the fella who was facing Mich with its blue tail with red tip in attack pose) Scorpion!!!!!!!!!! Blue colour one!!! And it's in attack pose!!!!
Mich: (extremely loudly and excitedly) Scorpion!  i never see scorpion in the wild before!  Blue one somemore!  Eh take photo take photo!!!
PG & Me: (shake head)
Me: i think the whole forest can hear you...
Scorpion: *Where's my paper bag to cover my head...* (puts the tail down and malu malu crawled into the grass)

Seeing the way it retreated, i think the scorpion felt really malu... it had probably never heard such a loud voice in its life and it doesn't wanna be on film either.  ;P  But it was a really unusual and rare encounter, probably never again.

Sometimes, i think it's really like what PG said today, a place can be not very interesting, it's the people who make the trip fun.

:)

A bit about what's up in the past week...

So it was mid autumn festival last Thursday and i organised a little group to carry lanterns, enjoying mooncake and basically hang around to enjoy the evening.  i wanted our group last year, but slightly extended with everyone's partners.  However, Raine wasn't in town.  We then fixed on 3 couples, location Chinese Garden vicinity.

As usual, the very indecisive GB didn't give me a firm reply on their attendance.  V suggested going Gardens by the Bay instead, and although i wasn't very keen, i decided to go with it just in case she would change her mind to not go if i had insisted on not going there, and thus upset her partner E.  

And so, we had some lousy dinner at MBS before heading over.  (i hate food courts.)

Because it was Gardens by the Bay, i wasn't sure if we could sit around to play with candles and fire.  When we walked among the many people, we got scattered a couple of times, and eventually we headed to a quiet corner to settle down to enjoy the mango pudding mooncake and the traditional mooncake that we had.  

i bought much more candles, matches, lanterns and sticks than all the past years' festival because we, no matter which bunch of friends, would always be disappointed when the material ran out.  This time, the other 3 were sitting/walking around while i played alone.  It felt like my childhood days once again.  Loneliness.  Time was also a restriction...  i try to convince myself that times have changed and priorities/preferences are difference.

And oh, did i mentioned?  GB (expectedly) didn't turn up, nor did he give any indication of whether he would be turning up.  What's new.

The next 4 days after the mid autumn festival would be our  company retreat in Medan.  It's more of a work trip than retreat, with lots of meetings for the overseas guys, and product presentations on the last 2 days.  Because we were overseas and none of us applied for data roaming on our mobiles, everyone would be trying to tap on whatever wifi everywhere - airport, cafe, restaurant, hotel, spa, etc.  They suggested creating a whatsapp group for this trip for communication, which created some anxiety for me to keep refreshing the connection to make sure i didn't miss out any timings or info in the chat.  i'm the sort who would chuck the phone aside once i'm overseas, especially on holidays, but this was a work trip...

And so with everyone on their phones most of the time, this comic strip someone liked on Facebook reminded me of it.  Truly, with better connectivity, we get more communication breakdown.

i was also fairly pissed during the product presentations that were held in someone's hotel room... i had 3 slots and all had to be rushed through because of time limitations.  During my first presentation, my boss kept talking to my colleague who was sitting just on my left.  i was distracted many times and i heard them comparing fingers and toes.  My colleagues noticed this too.

During my last presentation, a colleague dozed off (yes, i'm boring and the topic was technical & dry too), and my boss was lying on the bed, uninterested.  i felt disappointed because i tried putting in the best of my effort in preparing and rushing the material for this presentation, and i would have preferred boss to  be showing a positive example, or just move out of the room if it is better for him.

If my presentation wasn't satisfactory, i would like some feedback.  Sometimes i really wonder how much effort i should bother putting in for such things.

This evening's visit with Biggie to the banks to enquire about the property loan was definitely reassuring for us, who have been wondering for the longest time about our budget for the house.  Although there is no concrete action so far, it's a huge step forward.  We now know how to proceed.

~~~

Dear's been the sweetest thing ever.  Just the other day, he handwashed my clothes that were at his place, bought and sliced this chunk of sweet watermelon that caught his eye at the night market, and even washed my bike just before i went over!!!!!!!!!!

O_O

i AM pleasantly surprised!  <3 p="">

This German Trip

This trip to Germany has been subtlely interesting for me.  The highlight is supposed to be Eurobike - the congregation of bicycle pornography and technology.  However, there were many other bits that i really enjoyed, even possibly more than the show itself. 

We flew by Finnair to Zurich and transited at Helsinki on the way.  Helsinki airport was a lovely place. From this first encounter with Scandinavia i've stepped into, i can tell the infrastructure of the country is very much in place.  The airport had a very simple yet sophisticated design, with all the facilities that travellers can ask for.  This is much more than i'd expected.  With that wildlife documentary onboard which featured Finland and other Nordic regions, i'm really attracted to finding out what's in Finland.  The Finnair places were all clean and new.  The leg room was slightly narrow but for an Asian midget like me, it's perfect.  Service was good for an angmoh airline. 

In Germany, we stayed in Lindau island this time, opting to go by public transport instead of renting a car.  Hotel Brugger Garni was our home for 4 nights.  The room for 4 was very spacious.  The bed and pillow were fluffy (or maybe i was just too tired throughout).  Breakfast was simple and ample, German-style bread, cheese, ham, boiled eggs, yoghurt, milk, cereal.  The pick-up point for the shuttle bus to Eurobike was just 2 minutes' walk from the hotel.  The train station was about 15 minutes' walk away.  

On our way to the Friedrichshafen messe every morning, our bus would pass by countless farms and houses.  i would wonder how much each house costs and why almost every house had such a beautiful garden and why the sky was always in sight.  There were so many beautiful things i saw that i could not capture on my camera, only in my memory.  i saw the open field with mild rolling hills and the little house that perched on one of the little hills.  i saw the beautiful sun rise from the waters.  i saw each and every house unique from each other.  i could understand why in so many fairy tales, the houses and windows and doors were illustrated in that manner - because they ARE like this.  i wonder how the people feel living in such fresh air and being surrounded by so much nature.

i don't know why i noticed all these in such detail only during this trip.  (This is my 4th time there.)  Perhaps that's what public transport does to me.  Whenever i sit in a car, i miss everything that goes by.

The shock this time when i arrived back in Singapore was, "Why does the air smell like this?!".    

 

Today is the day:

Boyfriend rides the trail
Girlfriend builds the trail

It was my first time using a cangkul (hoe) and big spade.  Oh my gawd, my left wrist feels sore now.  All the volunteers today were really not used to digging trails and we were huffing and puffing after just a short while.  i guess working all day in the office doesn't really help.  It's a really good experience though and i learnt lots of stuffs about trail-building.  Manual labour is really tough work - i don't understand why manual workers are being looked down on in our society.  Somebody needs to do that hard work of building our housing, amenities and transport infrastructures.

But anyway, we built the new trail as a detour around the iconic staircase which will be removed... :'(  i don't like lugging my bike up the staircase after every tough lap of the trail, but it's a feature that has been there ever since i've started riding BT about 12 years ago.  i really wonder who built the original trail... hmmmmmm.

Need to find time to ride the revamped trail.  The last time i rode it which was a few weeks ago, only about a quarter had been revamped.  There are many new bits that i would like to check out, although i don't think i'll ride most of the technical sections - at least not with my current bike.

Satisfying weekend.  Long, long, long weeks ahead.
Coming week: work work work, rush rush rush for expo booth next Friday to Sunday (wonder if i'll be scheduled to be at the booth on those days)
Monday to Sunday: Eurobike (i.e. work work work)
Monday to Friday: work work work

i think i just figured the schedule for the rest of my life too... work work work die.  That would be exactly what our government hopes for - productivity for the country till your last breath.

The 4-day long weekend is over.  i'm not sure if that is causing the blues i'm feeling right now.  To be honest, i didn't feel particularly happy over the weekend.  If i could draw it out, it would be a huge jagged rock sitting in a glass heart.

Or maybe i'm just dreading going back to work again.

Or i just want to go on a holiday again.

Or i just don't look forward to anything ahead.

i hate the place i'm living in right now.  There are too many people and it is stressful.  i feel tired of all this shit.  i want to know how to live a real life.  i'm a weakling and a quitter and i don't care.

:'(

depressed

Sick once again. It's getting stressful because there is some form of urgency to get well, although I'm not sure if it's real. 

And it's strange how in the past 2 weeks, at least 5 people have mentioned I lost weight.  Oh well...

Need some rest. 

And so i bought an Argon18 Electron track frameset!  It feels like Christmas come too early... and i feel like a total noob in bikes once again.

Clueless on how i should spec the bike.

Clueless on what sizes/lengths to spec the bike.

Clueless on the brands to spec the bike.

And most of all, will be clueless on how to ride the bike.

---

Ask me to spec any mtb, i can rumble off component brands and names with no hesitation.  Even as a purist mtb-er, i can rumble off specs for road bikes without batting an eyelid.  Now, ask me what to spec on a bike that will have a minimalist drivetrain and no brakes, i'm at a total loss.

Questions (and temporary answers from me):

• Track bar, bullhorn or flat bar?  Length?  (In order of preference: 1st track, 2nd bullhorn, 3rd flat.  In order of skill ability: 1st flat, 2nd bullhorn, 3rd track)
• Stem length? (probably start with a 70)
• Crank length?  (probably 165)
• Just have to add to the headache that the Miche crankset looks very very good.
• Gear ratio?  (???????????  42-16?  is that even a proper ratio at all?)
• Wheels? (Miche and Mavic look so hot, but i'm gonna be so broke.  Or should i build wheels with White Industries hubs... T_T)
• 3/32" or 1/8"?
• Road tires okay?
• Toe clips or clipless!!!!??????  (Toe clips are cheaper though)

It's supposed to be such a simple bike and fuss-free, but why is my hair dropping everywhere...  Such irony.

This afternoon's sudden transition to clear blue skies and a smiling sun has been very welcomed by everyone.  It's been a long while since the scenery has been clear, and with this morning's very poor psi readings of up to 320+, no one expected this change.  The PM2.5 concentration is still too high for any strenuous outdoor activities (i presume mountain biking included) and my nose occasionally drips just sitting at home or in the office.

The forecast says it will be bad again tomorrow.  The 24-hour psi reading for tomorrow is expected to be 201-300.  This is very bad because the reading right now is at 91.  What psi reading for the next few hours does it take to make that average?

In the meantime, i'm just too irritated to go out.  The air is no good.  Indoor areas are crowded with people hiding away from the bad air.  Even now with the good weather, i wonder if it will suddenly change for the worse.

A friend's friend took a photo of some dead pigeons on a grass patch.  My colleague says the kitty cats downstairs his place are lethargic, and so are the ones at my void deck.  Poor innocent animals...

If it's clear tomorrow, i will bring my rig out for a good spin.  Changed out the (very very) worn cassette, chain and jockey wheels on my off day last Saturday, so the drivetrain is gonna feel a bit more reliable than before.

~~~

i wonder if i will ever have a partner who doesn't sprout vulgarities online and offline... or at least make it voluntary-sprouting.  It's quite irritating to always see/hear the same words.  It's quite a lack of word variety and i can imagine my secondary school teacher marking it down for lack of creativity...

i find the quality of life in Singapore is drop, drop, dropping.  Life has become more stressful for the general population compared to 10 years back.  Inflation is more than wage increment for mid-low salaried workers.  Huge influx of foreigners in the past few years has caused social issues and tension.  The government has emphasised greatly on productivity and economic growth to their people, while forgetting about their people at the same time.  The government has officially aimed to increase our (already very dense) population by about 20% within the next 17 years. Public infrastructure cannot catch up with coping with the growth.  Prices of government housing have risen to unbelievable amounts.  Mountain biking trails have slowly given way to residential development.  All these happened mainly just within the last 5-10 years.

And now, the terrible air pollution from our dear neighbour Indonesia.  Today's record 401 psi (which many suspect is still not the true figure) got everyone on the toes.  Visibility is horrible and breathing is a chore with that smokey smell.

i miss fresh air.  i miss nature.  i crave living a carefree life.

i've been really broke the past few months.  Every month, i'll be counting the dollars and trying hard to spend as minimal as i can, but i'll still end up counting cents and breaking the piggy bank.  This really sucks.  i'm trying so hard to save up for the house that we are hopefully going to buy by end of this year and it is straining myself a fair bit.  It's not that i go without meals.  In fact, i still eat pretty much most of the foods that i like/want.  It's just that money is that constant worry at the back of my mind.  Assuming the house is not on my want list, i would probably be spending lots of time and money travelling.

A friend from ODAC in JC was telling me about her upcoming trip to Annapurna in October.  i am absolutely so tempted because these sort of trips are once in a lifetime.  It's gonna be 9 days trekking part of the Annapurna Circuit Trek.  Mich who has been to Nepal twice tells me it's better to do the Annapurna Base Camp trek instead because of the altitude.

This Nepal thing has been on my mind since late afternoon.  How disturbing.  The thing is, i would very much like to go with her and friends, but does my budget for the year allow and how will i react to AMS?  After all, the highest i've been is only about 3700m.  That's nothing close to the highest point Throng La at 5400m on that part of the circuit trek that they will be covering.

There is no way (budget and time) that i can go for conditioning trips to KK or other places before the trip.

But hey, i would really love to stay in the high altitude areas for a few months, just to see how the body responds to it.  It would be nice to have some free stamina.

The past few weeks, i've been thinking about what i think i want to do, what i can do, and what i should do.  Work hasn't been particularly enjoyable, with every Friday ending with me saying, "i was still monday-bluing and the week ended just like this."  Time passes way too fast, i don't see anything at all.  i don't understand why i'm so busy at work - am i too slow or are there really too many things to be done?

Honestly, it boils down to this question - Is this the life i want to live?

All the constant worries about money is driving me insane.  It's making me extremely unhappy and i'm very irritated by the fact that i'm 29 this year and still not having my own flat.  i want it so badly and i want it this year.  Does this mean i can't quit my job now because it might affect the loan?

:(

Just wanna be a happier kid.

Kitty Kat

After all these years, i'm still struggling with this issue called parents.  i cannot understand their expectations of me, and neither can i fulfill whatever expectations they have of me.  Today, she said that i haven't been going home for dinner lately, and i should.  And so i said okay (i.e. point accepted).

i don't believe it to be just dinner.  Once the dinner aspect is covered, there will be other issues arising.  i don't know what to do.  i'm treating them how i would like them to treat me - to be emotionally independent, to be independent, to give all the personal space that they need, etc.  They do not seem to understand that.  This whole thing looks like a case of one-sided love.  What do i do in such a case?  i wonder if there will be regrets in the future.  But what is there to be done now?  :(:(:(:(

Why are children expected to love their parents?  i'm thinking very hard about this and i cannot understand it.  Parents choose to have the kid and of course they have to take responsibility for such an action.  The poor kid is the one brought into this world of troubles, and then conveniently thrown this task of parenting the parents, on the pretext of reasons such as "they gave you your life", "they have always been there for you", "they went through years of burden to bring you up", "you must respect them", etc.  Think harder, they brought you (and themselves) this misery, and now you are supposed to repay them for that?

i'm tired trying to rationalise this.  It all does not make sense to me, and it would be nice to have someone put it in perspective for me.  :(:(:(:(:(:(

And Mother's Day is just a marketing gimmick.  Stop believing in such ploys.  It's the same for birthdays and valentine's days.

All Hail Hitler!

The type of chilling I like

i went to Bali for the first time, on a 5-day trip with Biggie and 2 of her close friends.  We stayed in a villa in Seminyak with a huge lovely pool.  The villa was somewhat run-down with the poorly maintained facilities, malfunctioning glass door and loose door knob, but since the place was clean, we got used to it in no time.

We had a chillax time throughout, floating around in the pool, checking out nice restaurants (with food that came with a bill with many, many zeros...), roaming the shops and sitting at cafes sipping iced tea.  i got to try 2 dishes that are signature of Bali - babi guling (roasted suckling pig) and bebek betutu (crispy duck).  We tried cocktails made from arak, a local rice wine, and we ate lots of fresh seafood.

During one of the nice dinners, someone in our group observed that we were eating too fast - brought about by the day-to-to hustle and bustle of our fast-paced lives.  We would sit down, order the food, take photos of the food served and then proceed to gobble down the food in silence.  You could see the flurry of hands and mouths at our table.  We figured we could have learnt a thing or two from the rest of the caucasian tourists who nibbled and chatted and enjoyed the music and the environment.  And so we tried to eat a bit slower.  (Towards the end of the trip, i did notice we really ate at a more correct pace.)

It seemed like our group couldn't live without wifi.  i kinda wish there was no wifi anywhere there because we were on holiday.  Maybe an occasional wifi would be just fine to update our folks back at home.

Shopping was really all about boutique brands.  i didn't buy anything except a few bamboo straws which are re-usable.  i'd been looking around for re-usable straws recently and it was nice to be able to find them there.  Bought a pair of bracelets supposedly made from coconut for us at the airport.

Overall, the trip was good but i find the place a bit too expensive for my liking.  Would have been nice to go for some sea activities like snorkelling or just hanging out more at the beach.

The 8-day fever saga was over when the fever disappeared the day after the blood test results came out.  The clinic assistant had called me in the late afternoon to ask me in for the results.  i asked if it was okay and she told me the doc called me in "urgent".  i was contemplating to cancel the dinner appointment with my friend who came back for overseas and would had been flying out soon, but i had looked forward to meeting her up, and so i went despite the heavy heart.  i would have been lying if i said i didn't worry about what could happen, like a terminal illness or having to check into the hospital that night.  i was more concerned about how to hide it from everyone if something really happened.  i also wondered very hard about whether i would choose treatment for a major illness, and how "major" is a major illness.  But in that bitterness, i thought a lot about what else to achieve before dying - to study, to travel, live in my own house, spend more time with certain people around me.  To be honest, i don't think i had any regrets on my mind at all.  i would have happily just died that night.

Fortunately (or unfortunately?), there was nothing too wrong about the result.  i guess the fever went off the next day because it's time to get well already.

You posted some comments that seemed to be with regards to our conversation just now.  i'm afraid you don't quite understand my feelings and reasoning for my plans.  Insurance is for me, yet not for me.  It is for the family around me, including you.  When i'm sick, you say "You can't leave me!!!  You'll be fine!!", yet you say we should let ourselves die upon illness.  i can afford to die, but i cannot afford to be ill.  It's not a choice to die either - many attempt to die but can't.  Did you know i've never wanted to live past 30?  Perhaps you don't know, but i still secretly wish it would happen.

i'm an occasional driver and i can already feel the frustration to pay so much for a vehicle, be caught in jams every day, pay ERP, pay parking and buy petrol at that price.  If it's for racing, touring overseas, or out of a necessity, it's fine.  But there is no way i will put more than S$100,000 into a stupid car here just for wanting it - at least not with this measly income now.  That's my take but please, if it's your plan to get one, get one.  It's very achievable because you don't have plans to buy anything else big.

i don't want to be rich.  i just want my own house.  i've never felt happy in my parents' place and it has been a decade ever since i've started to so badly wanted my own.  It is in this unfortunate environment that i cannot buy a government flat if i'm single and below the age of 35.  And isn't it obvious that it is a struggle for any middle-income person to purchase a private property, let alone a low-income earner.  The first house has to come.  As for the second, i would really want to have it but i don't think it is possible.  Anyway, you can burn the rest of my money after i get a place i call home.

i guess this is how you really feel and i'm glad to know it now.  i can accept it because that's your opinion and i have my plans and i'm sticking to them.  i have to reach my goal before i die.  You are definitely entitled to plan your life as you wish.  Like i say, i take people's words with many handfuls of salt.

Lost my first post because the irritating S3 hanged itself. 

We were at the movie premier of Ironman 3. I didn't even know there would be a 3 and the next moment, I was offered 2 tickets to the show because my colleague had intended to go with his son but his son fell ill. 

It's the typical mainstream show that I don't usually watch, coupled with too much unnecessary violence as usual. Didn't watch 1 and 2 last time because I was so damn too busy from working at ironman events, I didn't want to be anything to do with ironmen after work too.

2 thoughts from this show (that are probably irrelevant to the storyline):

1. You lose more when you have more.  The protagonist lost his big luxurious house on the cliff after he talked too much.

2. By creating such violent mainstream hollywood movies, are the Americans giving people, enemies or otherwise, ideas and impetus to actually destroy America?  There are really no values in the show imho. The good are so called out to destroy the bad, but did you notice how many innocent were hurt in that process?  It is exactly what is happening in the real world right now.

Otherwise, it's an okay show to watch as a closure to the series. 

i've been having fever for 7 days straight.  Thank goodness only 2 days of mc so far.  Managed to get through the rest of the days alive.  

This morning was extremely frustrating.  i was going to the clinic again for the 3rd time this week and there was a sign outside that said it would be closed for the morning shift and would open at 5pm.  Gosh, can clinics just do this as and when they like???  Isn't there a social obligation to serve at the normal stipulated hours?

Anyway i was getting a rash from last night, and it was getting a bit unbearable this morning and i wanted to get it settled as soon as possible.  And of course i wanted to take the blood test and get an answer to why my thermometer wouldn't read less than 37 deg C the past week.  The few clinics that were opened were all crowded - it's the sick season, and also an opportunity for many to have an extended weekend.

i didn't like the clinic i went to.  The lady at the counter was not very professional and the clinic was a mess and fluster of patients and staff going everywhere.  When i finally got through 45 minutes of waiting, i told the doc about the case and he conveniently told me to go back to the original clinic i went to.  He also said i looked okay and my temperature that read 37 deg C (with a sleeve over the thermometer and after eating a cold dessert) was fine.  i guess that was the best for him because it was less than 10 minutes to closing time. 

To make up for it, he inspected the rash and declared it an allergy rash.  Some antihistamine and calamine lotion and i'm done. 

The problem is, my parents think i'm okay already, so i can't be walking around the house with white arms and legs.  Calamine lotion is just messy.

i gave up on paracetamol a few days ago and only took it when my head ached.  17 paracetamol pills and enough is enough.  i suspect the antibiotics are doing nothing as well, but since there are only 3 more courses to go, i'll just have to finish it.  At least the sore throat seems better already.

i must get well by tonight.  This week is going to be a very hectic week with lots of shipments arriving, visitors coming and rearrangement of the warehousing.  My boss expects to see me all well in office.  

You know what is the problem?  i look perfectly fine.  If i don't say, no one will know i have a fever because it also didn't come with any chills.  The weather was so hot yesterday (max 34 deg C i heard) and i was wondering whether my body was succumbing to the heat or just doing its own fever thing.  Everyone including me complained "HOTTTT!!!!!".

Feeling so depressed... i don't seem to be getting any better even after so many days.  Every day i promise dear i'll be okay by "tomorrow", but my "tomorrow" hasn't arrived.  i don't wanna be on mc again tomorrow!!!!!!  But i'm afraid of fainting on the train to work.

i have work to do instead of sitting around at home the whole day. The problem is that there are virtually no other symptoms other than fever that refuses to go away, a throat that has just become slightly sore this morning and some lymph nodes that are making their presence.  It doesn't really justify my absence from office right?

i promise i'll be okay by tomorrow.

i am sick again.  4th day of fever.  :(

Very very cutesy little fella who voluntarily came tottering over to us on Sunday afternoon at marina barrage. He's a pom pom (read: pomeranian), slightly pudgy but in a cute way, slightly stiff fluff, almost roundish ears, and has got a great attitude. He just sat around watching while his 4 human friends played cards. Not a bark or whine.  Only a slight problem when he peed onto their picnic mat... but that's just part of it I guess. 

Dear and Biggie got something in common - wet and dry risers and water tanks!!!

Back from a whole day of riding & slacking around with dear & biggie.  The weather was merciful today, considering the whole week of rainy afternoons.

Life has been... busy.  Or maybe a better word would be full.  Lots of work, some recreational riding, some social life, and lots of dating.  But i don't know if this is what i really want, so i've been doing some thinking about taking up some courses to learn stuffs and make it refreshing once again.  i think it's tough because i'm lazy but it has to be done.

Random stuffs:

It's strange how much i've been eating recently.  The other day, dear & i went for dinner after work.  We ordered san lao hor fun for 3 pax and fish beehoon soup for 1 pax, and a mug of fruit juice each, and we finished everything.  The uncle asked if they should set the table for 4, and i said, "For two".  He asked again, "For three or two?".  "Two".  Two little monsters with humongous appetites.  We are really not very big people - i'm 52kg and he's 45kg.  But we are a big liability to Mother Earth - taking up too much resources.

During last night's steamboat with family, i ate right from the start till the end, and even gobbled down a bowl of rice during the second half of the steamboat.  i wasn't very hungry to start with, but there was a superb dip of freshly chopped garlic + red chilli + spring onion + soya sauce for the meat & fish balls, and also fried garlic to top the rice with... And i could have eaten somemore still!!!  On a side note, i found a iphone in the restaurant's toilet and almost wanted to keep it, but decided to pass it to the cashier to hunt down the owner instead.  i cringed at the thought of losing a mobile phone with all the contacts and data and that i would be super happy to get my phone back if i ever lost it, thus my act of honesty.

The other day, my boss' younger daughter (about 9 or 10 years old) showed me her tuition assignment. The title of the 2 sheets was "Hate Poem".  The instruction on the paper was to write about things she hated.  She wrote, "i hate my father because he boss me around.  i hate my mother because . i hate my sister because .  i hate my grandmother because her breath smells like fish."  i reminded her that the assignment was about things and not people, but she said her teacher had given them the freedom to write about people they hate too.  

It didn't help that the front of the assignment had a Hate Poem example that included lines like "i hate eating spinach", "i hate my sister" and "i hate girls".  Are we back to the Hitler era?  Is this the value that the tuition centre is teaching?  What's education about nowadays?  i showed it to someone in the office and she said, "Does her parents know about this?  i think you should show it to them.  Instead of the "hate" word, it should be "love"!

It is definitely too strong a word to be taught or used in this context.  "Dislike" would definitely be more appropriate.  What her older sis said after reading it was right too; she said, "You shouldn't write about hating our family."

And i was fuming and almost throwing that assignment on my boss' table while complaining to him about it - just frustrated to know what the young ones are learning these days.

Time to sleep now!

Such a smart looking cat. Taken on my S3. Lovely! 

After that conversation yesterday, I felt my heart and mind totally torn. It felt like a relationship that didn't work out. I want so badly to tell her it is not her fault and she had done her best, and that I have been the spoilt apple. The distance had been increasing by folds over the years and it does not make sense to me to share problems with people because sharing just multiplies the problem, not divide it.

For the first time in my life, I want to write a letter to tell what I really feel. It's to release that emotional stress and burden in both parties. I think I'm the main culprit to all these. I could have been a really good kid who aced whatever I could and studied to the highest level and work a prestigious job that paid a premium. 

I didn't achieve any of those. I didn't bring any happiness to these people. I wish I died because no one would have to feel disappointed or wonder why I was always so distant.

It's been a long long time since I've ridden out so early to ecp...

Superb day out with the gals!  

The event turnout sucked and the organiser didn't provide breakfast as stipulated on the website.  I was very grumpy about that...

But anyway we decided to enjoy ourselves anyway.  We were supposed to ride a route along the river and visit 4 checkpoints where we had to take photos of us with some landmark and send it to the organiser. We had to look like we were having the most fun in those pix.

We took our time and enjoyed the ride, the view, and took lots of funny jump shots. After finishing the checkpoints, we headed back to redeem our ben n jerry's ice cream and watch the BMX demo. We even took photo with the pro guys and ax got her helmet autographed too!  The emcee was announcing some numbers and we were wondering what those were. I asked someone and she said it was a lucky draw using the last 4 digits of the hp number.

Just then, the emcee was announcing the first prize... and it was our team leader's number!!!!! Yayyy!!!!!! We had won 3 helmets! Ironically the other 3 had bought helmets just for this event... :p

Later on we found out the prize we won was for the team that looked like they had the most fun in the photos. :D That included all those horrible pix of us not levitating in time for the camera...

Well, I guess the event was not much of a success but we enjoyed whatever there was of it.  A bit pricey at 25 bucks per rider for the Green Day event but oh well...

Penguin & Giraffe - Horns Or Not

Bossa nova at its best... just takes away the weariness out of your body and mind.

Recently i've been feeling slightly stressed out by... the usual - life. 

i find it my mother's concerns about me staying over at his place unnecessary.  i rationalise that since i will never be able to change her mind, why even waste my effort to try?  She said something really mean that i thought it was too rude.  "If you are not with him, you will have better opportunities."  HUH???  Exactly the same sweeping statement as "If i didn't live under your roof, i would have been much happier.", execpt that the latter is probably a bit truer. 

On V-day, we decided to check out the new S.E.A aquarium in Sentosa.  On that rainy day, we took the Sentosa Express into the island and to my horror, there was a mega queue for the tickets into the aquarium.  The lady usher told us the wait for the tickets would take about half an hour, and then we would have to queue for another half an hour more to enter the place.

i cannot imagine why there were SO MANY PEOPLE THERE!!!!!!  i hate queuing and maybe i can accept short reasonable queues, but not an entire hour just standing there doing nothing!  i got really disappointed and depressed because i really wanted to see the fishes in there.  Neither could i imagine having another 1.6 million people on this tiny island.  (We are at the 5.3 million mark now and the government has projected (read: set a target of) 6.9 million in population in 17 years.  It was packed everywhere at Vivocity and on the trains too.

It's becoming such a chore to live here...  Just 2 days ago, there was a protest held at Hong Lim Park about the population projection stated in the recently released "Population White Paper".  The Paper seemed to most people that it was trying to justify the intake of foreign workers more than anything else.  Basically, it represents the PAP's point of view that Singaporeans are not reproducing enough to re-generate the population at a pace to outgrow the greying population, and that to keep the economy vibrant, growing and alive, we need much more imported labour.  (Re-generate population, encourage Singaporeans to take up higher level jobs to keep cost of businesses low...)

i keep saying that Singapore is in a big trading business importing foreigners and exporting their old people.  A minister once encouraged families to put their elderly parents in the old folks' home in JB...  Great idea!  Brings down the greying population, medical costs to the society and at the same time allows space for new economically productive workers!  Just a few days ago, Singapore's Minister Mentor was hospitalised for some major heart problem.  Old people... not so economically active... high medical expenditure... export... import foreign talent... it somewhat rings some bell in my mind.

Correct me if i'm wrong, our ministers' bonuses are tied to Singapore's GDP?  Of course this business has to flourish.  i wonder if these people who are paid an average of S$1,100,000 per year can understand the worries of a regular wage-earner.  Do they take the public transport or apply for public housing?  

i'm not well educated but i can see that in the past 5 years, our country has been flooded with so many foreign workers, many of which have been non-accepting to our local culture and created a nuisance in the society for themselves.  i guess when the environment becomes overcrowded, not only does the infrastructure become unable to cope with the capacity, everyone in the system becomes living on their nerves.  If the rat race is already not enough, someone sure is squeezing twenty rats into a lunchbox.

i thought i was just tired of the pace here.  Now that everywhere i go is so packed, it just feels terrible.  i hate to think of this, but i have to get out of this place - very soon.

We were on Skype last night and dear asked me jokingly if i was looking at maps.  Yes, i was.  Then he said i got that look on my face when i see maps and those little islands on the maps, and why don't i have that look when i go out with him.  Ooops...  :P

This morning i went for a short ride on the very cool Focus Planet 2.0 carbon gates drive with alfine 8s hub.  i love how coasting is totally silent - just like a ghost floating by.  i'm still trying to get used to the gear ratio though - somehow there are these 2 gears that i always use and my legs seem to want something in between these 2 gearings.  But i definitely love new stuffs!

While riding, i was thinking through about the festive season.  Chinese New Year has been pretty much the same every year for my family.  The first day is about visiting my paternal grandaunty's place, followed by going home where my mum's nephews would visit, followed by visiting the temple, yummy dinner at the Chinese restaurant at Tiong Bahru and ending with a visit to my third grandaunty's place.

On the second day, my mum and maid would prepare lots of food and have my father's relatives over for casual lunch.  The house would be crowded (which is what is happening right now as i type) and in the recent years, we've been seeing more babies and kids.  My favourite activity is to hide in the kitchen and wash dishes, and periodically come out to ensure everyone has a good flow of drinks.  After the crowd leaves, we go visiting at a couple more relatives' places - usually my aunties', uncles', cousins', etc.

Yesterday while eating my chicken curry in the morning, it occured to me that Chinese traditions in Singapore are getting so diluted or lost over the generations.  i have so many friends who only visit their grandparents or parents, or just travel overseas for the long holidays.  No one really goes through the elaborate process of cleaning the house inside out, buying all the New Year tidbits and putting up decorations in the house anymore. But I think it is understandable why this trend is rampant. Everyone has been rushing and working so hard for the whole year, who doesn't want to have a good rest for the longest holiday of the year?  

Until now, it has never occurred to me what i should do when my parents pass on.  It just crossed my mind and i made myself a promise that i will at least continue to visit all these folks whom i've been visiting for the past 29 years.  i am not into the strict traditions but i think this is the least i can do to keep the strings of relations intact.

Happy Lunar New Year to all!!!

This half frosted glass with a ring of flowers, along with a couple of its like-designed friends,  has been one of the rare surviving items from my childhood. I just had to take a pic of it during visitation at my grandaunty's place just now. I feel incredibly old and even more retro and nostalgic than the old folks around me.

Goo goo ga ga car

My colleague's lovely car!!! It's amazing! I've seen it many times in the parking lot but i never knew it was his.

Yesterday we were in this conversation that led to him saying...

"You see which car outside you like, that one is mine." 

Me: I was like, no way! Are you sure!!!!!! 

Colleague: Yes, it's mine..

Me: No way! (With an are-you-kidding face) 

Colleague: (Nods head.) Na! Pass you the key. (And he handed over a remote control key)

And very very very excitedly and half-suspiciously, another colleague and i approached the car and pressed the unlock on the remote...... "Oh my goodness, it's really his!!!!!!!!!!"

Awwwww...... such a beauty! He took down the top and even gave me a short ride to the mrt.  

The COE is going to expire next year. I hope he renews it but i think it's gonna be almost a good $100,000 for that. He was saying he got the 1984 car at $63,000 with 9 years COE. He renewed it once in 2004 for $22,000. It's time again next year. Oh man...

A really interesting and easy read i had recently - Inside Steve's Brain.  It was very inspirational and informative.  Absolutely loved how Steve Jobs made Apple what it is now.  Indemnity: i am not an Apple fan.  It's just his way of thinking and making things happen, plus the bits about the very creative and resourceful industrial designers who worked for him, that makes Apple Apple.  How the office was designed, how he always brought his team out for exhibition/shows for exposure, how the team worked together with a very flat organisational structure who takes in anyone's ideas, how they took risks, how they could reduce the product turnover rate to a week, how so many ideas were rejected, how only the best people are hired, how they decide to have a very closed system/software for their gadgets for stability, how he foresaw digital lifestyle as The future, everything.  The book was published around 2008, so iPhone had just been released and Jobs was still around.

Now that i see how much this company depended on this one man, i had to dissuade my friend from buying more Apple shares.  i'm really not sure how much it's gonna dip some more.  Everyone's tapping their foot awaiting another revolutionary product from them.  What's next?

This time the flu has really taken me down, down like never before. I'd been falling sick so often in 2012 that even my colleagues notice. Now I am sporting this persistent cough that is very irritating and possibly a cause for concern that it might upgrade into something less desirable.

I feel like taking a day leave tomorrow to rest at home but it is not possible to do that without arousing the suspicion or raising the unnecessary attention of my parents. I feel helpless. All I want is some peace and quiet and no worries to rest.

From Thursday afternoon till Sunday morning, all i did was lie in bed with a fever in my head.  What a great weekend that passed. 

i need a new activity.  i've lost interest in cycling.  A bicycle is just a bicycle to me, now.  i haven't ridden trail for weeks and i have zero desire to ride any of my bikes anywhere.  i think it's just been too much bikes for the past 12 years (especially the past 5 years).  The cycling, the people, the boyfriends, the work, the work, the work.  Passion is passion and it ends there.  This year will see change - i don't know what and i don't know how, but it will happen.

There are so many possibilities out there, it's just a matter of which one i choose.  So what will i take?

New year's day passed in a blink. The initial plan was to wake up with dear to have breakfast together before he went riding while I accompany my folks for lunch.  

While having my prata, biggie msged me asking to accompany her to the doc coz her arm was feeling numb and a bit swollen.  Told the folks I had to give lunch a miss. Picked biggie to the nearest clinic that was opened. Jurong point.  Fortunately the doc diagnosed it as some nerve compression thing that wasn't serious. Big phew for us. We celebrated/ biggie's form of appreciation was Japanese lunch at my favourite Sakuraya! 

We also managed to view the Seahill showflat that I've been wanting to see for the longest time. I am in love with the 1+1 condo and 1+1 Soho units. I think she's convinced by it too. Love the location and amenities around it. The sea view too.

Now now.. where is sgd 120, 000 going to pop up from? And that's for each of us assuming we split half-half... i have barely half that amount.  It would be nice to have just 1.2m straight... 

With the flat occupying my mind, I dropped her home and went to pick my family. Went to ojy's place coz he wanted to show me some stuffs he dug out while cleaning out his cupboard. Memories from jc days. How time flies. Conveniently took a nap before he dropped me at Clarke quay to meet dear for dinner. 

I was feeling so very tired and was on the verge of collapsing when dear and friend turned up at 9 for dinner.  At that time I was just drained plus somewhat sick of waiting, so I got a table for them and left after handing the table over to them.  Took a cab back.

It was a great day and I got to hang out with my favourite people.  It's a shame I couldn't have lunch w family. Maybe next time!