life changes.

Now that i had gave up waiting for her, i felt happier, im glad that im able to let go. haha.. i had to. this few days was with Fooker they all, happy all day, didnt even think of kat at all. hoho..with jus play and play and play, nothing esle! Had fun, tons of fun. Thx to them im out of my dream land, im back to reality. New life started. oh ya, valentine coming!! but this year abit diff.. haha think of the bright side, no need to spend $!!! haha..hw mean of me. But i decided to hv my valentine dinner with my love one, my Family!! Thru out my bad time, they r always with me, i sad, they sad, i happy, they happy! pp who helped me to pull thru my miserable days, i thx u guys!! Really thx to Guan Liang, Henri, Raven, Terry, My Team Fookers, Os, My Family, Steven, Adam, Kai shi, Chee Mai, Simon, Bong & Ben!! U guys indeed in great help to me, and i really appreciate what u guys had done for me! Thx ya all!! gtg lo, see ya all.

My Love Story Ended here..

Dear Kat,

Thank u for being with me all these years..be it u really love me or be it u pity me, i thank u for adding colour to my life!! We met each other 5yrs ago as a friend, suddenly become young couple, then really in love with each other..hw nice..hw sweet..haha.. we quarrel..we argue.. and we hv our own happy moments! i miss all these!! And now, our love had came to an ended.. i wish u happy. i wont blame u for leaving me, cos there isnt a need now. In my heart i know hw much i love u, hw much i need u.. but as u said, i cant give u the happiness u wan..so no choice, i got to let u go.

No need to apologize, i had forgave and forgot. Luv ya zac.

i got to move on..

no choice.. no point looking back.. she wont come back anymore.. i got to move on.. the person she love is not me..is bevan.. all she said is hw good is bevan..together with him very happy etc.. and i know its all over.. her love for me ended here.. i got to forget her.. i had to.. i dun wanna ruin my happiness becos of her.. i believe there is still a girl outside who is willing to proof to me that endlesslove do exists..

For kat..

Being with u all this 5yrs.. im really happy..even tho we quarrel, im still happy..being with u makes me happy.. and my happy moment ended here.. My dream die at this very moment.. For the very last time.. Kat.. i love u..

Hope everything goes well for u.. see u...

luv, zac

Fcking my Life is Fcking Fuck up!!

To Love, or not? to wait, or not? i jus wanna stay happy like last time.. i cant even smile now.. all my smile is so fake.. i cant deny that i still love her, i still miss her.. i wan her to be happy.. but i cant take it when ever bevan and her r so loving.. i cant.. i wanna move on.. but im stuck rite here!! my mind think so nothing but her.. even in my dreams.. its nothing but her!! Even when im asleep..my mind is playing tricks on me! i had enough of slpless nite..im tired.. some hw i really wish to let everything go and move on..i really wan to.. the way she treating me now is so cold.. is it that im no where in her heart now?? most likely.. in her heart now is only bevan and nothing esle.. world changes..life changes.. everything jus went insane..im very lost.. dono what to do.. all i wan is a gal that truly love my forever so that i could go with her forever.. i thot kat is the one.. but i guess im wrong.. im alone.. after 5yrs.. im all alone.. i can feel the pain in my heart.. i wanna be with her.. but its next to impossible..

i felt like im not belongs to this world..

went to ecp yesterday..didnt reAlly expect to see her there..out of a sudden my mood is all gone.. Bevan called her..she picked up the call.. she forget her promise..the promise that once bevan left both of both wont contact each other. nvm la..if she isnt a bitch she will keep the promise.. she broke all the promises..that she had made to me..which is very disappointing..

went to drink with steven..drunk.. then home 2.30am terry helped my pay cab fare haha..
some hw i really missed her..then sometime i hate her..i really wonder what is this feeling..im like jus lost in a ocean..but i know i love her more then i hate her..

There is a wound in my heart..

nv in my life felt so pain b4.. this is the 1st time..and i hope it will be the last. She had left a scar in my heart..it will be forever there..the tears i shedded.. can fill a swimming pool.. enough..i dont wan all this shit!!.. its hurts..but i really got to move on..which is kinda hard..without her by my side. I hope i could make it.

My Dream of marrying her in a church of Barcelona..is gone..its gone...

im going insane!!!!!!

after all this im still thinking of her.. seening her loving bevan so much makes me hurt like mad..i know its not worth for me to love her..but i cant forget her at all!! wtf la.. nvm.. im going insane..

mental and physically broke down...

guess physically im not that good too..haha..didnt expect i will fall sick.. sian..now hving fever and flu.. i called her..dono why..maybe becos i miss her??.. shld be..now im jus feeling too weak.. i always wan her to be by my side, till forever.. but i guess its really no hope any more.. the way she talk and speak to me..is treating me as an enemy..its kinda pain.. i seriously think time dun heals well.. the longer she left me, the more im hurting..in my heart. Bevan left to australia, but coming back in 2 mth time. which is like so awhile. but i guess its not my problem anymore.

sometime..i really wanna be happy..but i find it so hard..i love her, i need her, i miss her..but i know i cant!! i know if i continue thinking of her..i will collapse!! Is there a really good way to forget her?? can someone pls tell me??

yesterday i dreamed of her agn.. its all abt our happy moment.. Fck la..even the dream oso playing a trick on me!! when i wake up..my heart break..loving a person isnt easy..cant understand why am i still love her so deeply..i dun understand..after what she had said to me..what she did to me..why am i still fcking cant forget her?!? FCK LA!!! im very lost..very very lost..

i really hope i can find someone who will really love me and willing to love me forever.. but in my mind i know its hard. My parents thot she will be the one and only gal in my life..but everything jus gone..jus thx to a guy..that took alway my love one..i hate him..but it is oso the gal at fault..if she really love me..she wouldnt do things like this.. she wont hurt me like this.. take it as i really love her too much..ended up the one who's hurting is me..it really took me 5yrs to see what kind of person u r.. prove me wrong..but its hard..i guess u cant forget it..

im being trapped in love and hate. im love her..but i hate her.. im confused. dono what to do..
but she had decide for me..which she chose to leave me for another guy.. i jus hoping that i wont think of her so much..and lead my life as normal..jus that...without her existant...

if u wanna know hw much i love her..

I really thought there is EndlessLove..

this is my anwser.

gd nite..

somehow..i felt empty..

days past..its almost coming to a mth.. im still feeling empty..i miss the day we skate togther, eat together, hv fun together..i wan back the old days..but after this incident..i find that i didnt really treAT her very well.. its true that i love her alot but.. i know myself..i got no much patiance, no much time to accompany her etc..its really my fault..that why rite now i dun blame her anymore for leaving me for a better guy.. somehow i regrets too.. but its too late.. recently still cant slp well..countless sleepless nite is torturing me!! Downing liquor to put myself to slp everyday..is not what i wan.. i wanna be happy..yet i feel like shedding tears.. if time really heals..why cant i go back to my normal life??? i guess im not that strong after all..physically maybe i am..but mentally im really not. hw can i forget her?? i dono.. this is a obstruction for my progression.. guess its too early le..got to get some slp...zzZZ

Lifez..

life is kinda meaningless, do u agree? Life is like all abt working everyday, heart break everytime.. sadness is often more then happiness. Maybe its only applies to me, but i guess there is pp like me. Sometime things can really make me confused, lost or even move the wrong step. But i believe if there is Love, Promise, Trust, Faith & Hope is life, everything gonna be almost perfect. There will always a Hope within everyone, jus that maybe its not time yet. Have Faith in your self and u will find a better life. Trust yourself, no matter what, listen to your heart, be it yes or no. Promises to yourself or friends shld be kept almost till the end of time. And when it comes to Love.. its almost everywhere.. mother's love, father's love, friend's love and of cos a life time partner's love. If Love didnt handle properly, the down side will be turning love to become hate. Its quite funny. Hv anyone went through a really long relationship that u thot it will last forever? i did. In fact, i always thot that this lady will be my life time partner..sad part is, jus out of a sudden, its gone.. this lady of my life left me.. this is hw a Love changed to Hate.. But we shldnt hate. Only until recently i jus understand what is love.. Loving a person jus wish to see them happy.. Do EndlessLove Even Exist in this World? i dono.. but i hope there is..

What is Love?..

Finally i realise to love someone is to see them happy. Its not to own her, but to love her. I wonder what i had done in the past is it wrong?.. maybe.. im glad that im able to let go. Kat.. wish u all the best.. be it with Bevan or anyone esle, stay happy. But i hope to let u know, i guess i love u too deep.. i know i still love u, but u r gone.. maybe forever.. dun worry i wont ruin myself, instead i will show the world who i am!! i will follow my Dreams..to become a superd Skater! All The Best!!

My Normal life..

everything is back to normal, the onli diff is, im single le..after 5 Yrs with kat.. i finally able to get over her le. thx to what she had done that made me decided to give up hope on her. my days is getting smoother..my daily routine keeps me away from thinking of her.haha..its simple yet boring. Morning wake up, work, night skate, home maple, slp. Mum told me not to be sad. cos there is always a right girl waiting for me, jus that fate is yet allowing us to cross our path. haha..thx mum..i love u. when i was down u, u r there for me, when im angry, u will be there to calm me, when i was losted, u will direct me. when im sad, she sad, when im happy, she is happy. This Mother love. Kat love compare to my mum love towards me is nothing! since i got a women in my life that i loved more then kat, why bother to beg at her? haha..kat..i guess u know why im able to get through all this pain and suffering that u gave to me. Its My Mum. some hw u dono what is love. onli my mum knows.

Love's pro and con

Love had cos my mentally unstable..becos of love i almost gone insane.. But becos of love i found myself a group of really good fren!! Frens is truly always be there for me but my own gf..will onli be there to freaking hurt me.. hmm.. u guy see the diff now??..if possible, dun give up your frens jus becos of a gal... i had learn alot after this incident..i took damn 5yrs to see kat's true colour..abit long but its better then after we got married. wish my fren all the best ya!! Wsih my Ex DUN REGRAT!! HAHAHA... i will live my life to the best!

The power of Love is so strong yet so fragile...

yes i love u..but i cant.. i wanna put in 100% to love u..but..u jus went away.. im really having a hard time..really hope i will get through it, forget abt it asap..so that i could get a new life.. being with u..i got no pride, i got no dignity..cos no matter hw badly u treated me..i will still love u madly.. Thx to bevan for snatching u away from me..haha..now i got back my pride, my long lost dignity!! i will still miss u..everyday, every moment, every sec.. but too bad.. what u had done is unforgiveable..u hurt me deeply..too deep..there will be a deep scar..telling me that i will nv get one more like this..i dun wanna get hurt agn.. Kat..the reason why i almost collapse is..simple, i thot we really could last forever..u told me that.. and u told me im the onli man u will love in your whole life.. the intention of getting enage with u when we reach 21 is always in my mind..but everything is jus like fairy tales..i wont happen..now i know what is reality..which is cruel..being cheated is worse!..fuck up feeling.. im lost..

my dearest frens..

im able to stand up agn and really thx to all my frens..giving my support.. special thx to Terry, Guan Liang, Henri, Edwin. im really lucky that i had u guys as my frens..im proud to hv u guys! i will forget her..its not worth it for me to love her..and she dun deserve it !! after this incident, i will make sure i treat my next gf 10 times better! im sure kat will regret for leaving me for another guy that she know onli for few days!! KAT LAW CHEE SIM!! NOW F OFF FROM MY LIFE!!!

Nightmare of my Life began...

when i came back to sg from sabah.. i meet up with kat.. for a concert. den i saw her msg in her phone..all kind of shit in it..wtf lo..den she anyry..say i dun trust her blah blah..den she ask for a break..=_=..i du lan so i left the scene.. wil came to look for me.. i decided to go countdown with them. cos they meeting jame and bevan, this two bastard who ruin my life.. taken away my love one..its is actually none of james business. Its Bevan who came in to me and kat relationship..fucker..sure will hv retribution. Half way to meet bevan etc.. kat and wil they all left me behind...alone..its raining and super crowded..sp i cant find them..i lost them..at the same time..i lost kat..i walk around alone for 2hrs..then i went home..kat went to wil hse to drink etc.. and msging bevan etc..at this moment, they are together le..WTF !! i saw kat msg etc.. kat calling bevan Baby etc.. bevan calling kat Darlin..haiz.. i feel like dying ..but i wont do that. that is stupid. after everything..kat had been going to bevan hse to stay over night etc.. and meeting him everyday..everyday seening my gf getting closer and closer to bevan..my heart hurts more and more..its really damn hurtful..nv so sad b4..everying started from 29dec06-now... i cant slp at all for a few days..i cried every nite when i tried to slp...my mum came over to console me..my fren accompany almost every day.. but i still cant get over..until one day..14jan07 5am.. i went down to find kat and bevan etc with henri,terry and edwin. i asked her hu she wanna be with..her reply was bevan.. and she told me that being with me is jus pitying me..at that point, i shattered..my mind went blank..i hate her... thx to her words..i made up my mind..to forget her.. bye my love...

If time is able to turn back, i will love u more...

A new year..but a really bad start. i lost someone i loved so much, so important to me, that i need so much.. and i lost a fren.. kat lefted me... everything happen so suddenly.. after i left sabah for a Demo, kat went to meet maria ex with maria.. and met bevan..a guy whom took away my everything..i really hate him..really feel like ending his life.. fuck up..