EndlessLovez DONT Exsist at all..

3 wks had past.. the days in army is tough.. i lost my freedom.. i lost kat as a fren. Finally i realize there is really alot things in life that is very precious.. i didnt cherish them well.. ended up with regrets. I believe that i had understand what is life.. its always up and down, its hard to travel smoothly.. it wont be like last time when im used to get everything i wan.. im stepping on to my 1st step of my journey.. my story...

For the past 3wks, i learned alot.

Endurance. Both physically and mentally. No matter hw hard it is, nv give up.. hang in there and greater harvest will appear. All my Platoon mates thinks that im mentally strong.. but im not.. i tends to think alot.. like my usual life style, my tempo of life is always very relaxing.. but its very diff in army.. & secondly.. Kat.. i couldnt stop thinking of her.. even tho i know its unfair for chloe..
The rest will be knowledge, Ability & Discipline.


For Kat...
For the last time im telling u that im missing u.. i miss the old days that we had fun together.. Rmb i used to piggy back u? & u told me its a training for my NS. I miss those days when we skate together.. its so nice.. & i guess it will nv happen agn.. its gone.. All our happy moments only left with memories & regrets.. The song nv fail to flash thru my mind.. dun feel gd, but no choice. I read thru your blog.. can tell u really love bev alot.. u had my blessing. Cherish everything u hv, apreciate what your friends had done for u.. same goes to me. If u r telling me i ruined your relationship with bev, i sincerely apologize to u. Its my fault. Do take good care of yourself, dun fall sick as friends around u will get worried. 5yrs of memories will always be there in my mind.. its impossible to forget, but im sure both of us will be a much happier person very soon. Farewell..


For Chloe...
Thx for being so nice to me.. u r always there when ever i almost collapse.. u had put in 101% of effort jus to see me smile. Thx to u im able to pull thru my hard times. U had been really nice to me.. & had been very understanding. When i tell u im still thinking of kat.. i know that u wont feel good, but u accepted it. Utimately i know its not being fair to u, but the only solution now is Time.. Allow Time to dissolve everything. After all, im glad that i had u..

For Guan Liang, Henri, Terry

Once agn, many thx to all of u. U guys had been helping me in many many ways. We i got myself in deep shit, u guys nv fail to be there for me.. when im sad, u guys will always be the one accompany me thru out. Life is nv complete with out u guys! Buddies For Life!^^

Now is 7.30am.. got to get some rest.. booking in tonight 7.30pm. Shagged....zzZZ

To Army i go!!

13apr07, 7.30am, jurong camp. Enlisted to Combat Engineer 30th Battlion operation unit. Feeling fine.. miss skate, my hair & pon pon nasi lemak!! so tired.. went st jame 11apr 1030pm-4am. Kat half drunk then went to ben hse with 5 guys.. yet i cant do a thing.. Ben even fucking guai lan with me.. fuck it man.. forget it lah.. i gave up.. Forget abt everything and move on. ns days shld be fun^^ k la.. gtg.. see ya all agn 3wks later.

my final 48 hrs..end of my freedom for 2yrs..

not much freedom left i guess.. i lost my enlistment letter and i dono what to do.. sian..hw sia.. i dun even know what to do what to bring..where to report, what time etc.. dam sian..
my worries is.. will she stay faithful to me? can she wait for me?.. all my doubt remain as a doubt.. i wanted to skate.. i wan my hair.. i wan my freedom.. all vanished.. i miss alot..even my favorite pungol nasi lemak..hmm..i wan to eat it everyday!!.. pp who own me $ dun even wanna pay me back.. wtf lah.. dam sick.. nvm..forget it.. anyway.. i enjoyed my day with my class mates!!^^ really nice of them to organize an outing for me..thx all. gt to rest..

Trip to Batam

2apr-4apr, batam. was very fun except some arguement with kat..

why kat keep saying i like Tiff? =_=.. so lame can..

Thot kat said going to make me a happy person for the last 14days?

ended up nasty.

abit sian.. but nvm..

Kat wanna go DXO tmr, thurs 5apr, but i cant go. And i really cant go

and she think that im lying to her..wth..

nvm.. i shall cherish every moment i hv now instead of bothering abt hw kat treat me.

Left 8days.. will kat wait for me? i dono.. hope she will..

i guess.. its hard for her too.. it wont be easy to wait..

and it wont be hard to wait, it all depend on her mindset.

im so tired, yet i cant slp..

now is 5apr, 4.45am

shld i give up on her after i go ns?

i dono.. abit confused.. tgt for almost 5yrs..

and if i jus let go, the yrs we spend tgt will be wasted.

what shld i do? hw can i make her be loyal and faithful to me?

i had tried to treat her well.. it did not work.

i tried to treat her normally, ended up worst.

hmm.. maybe i shld try treat her badly?

haha..impossible.

i dono.. i jus wanna be happy. simple..

Lost Lovez..


Once its gone, its gone forever...

Great days ahead!!^^

29maro7, woke up 9.45am, left home to shop 10am, founded a Nokia N73 Music Edition on the rd when i was skating to shop. song bo!! Reached shop 10.10am, go eat, reached SGH 12noon. demo at 12.30pm with zhuzhu & chee mai. screwed up abit but still it goes well. The space is rather small, smaller den our IC retail floor=-=.. so small.. hw to skate?.. ended up we did some slalom move, dance, figure, slide & synchronize tricks. At 1st we thot we will be doing pure sliding, but ended up sian half, but still, we really had a fantastic day!^^ zhu, mai & me went see see look look play play etc..^^ song!! den 4pm, Demo round 2! this time round its much much better. The management cleared the place for us, creating a lane for us to pick up spd den to a space for us to slide etc. hmm.. better. i love the music there!! its jus like clubbing sia!! automatic will dance.. lol.. everything ended 5.30pm, den zhu, mai, me went to meet henri at sun tec. den we went to city link underpass to skate. 1st time i feel so great even tho we had been skated for the whole day! from 10am-10pm. pro.. Took video of me, zhu, mai sliding..hehe.. putting in youtude soon^^ reached home 11pm.. shag.. but still feeling good^^ pick up fone, demo very fun, nite skate etc, all is jus so good.. the only ssian thing in my mind is.. i only left with 14 days to enjoy. kk ended here.. see ya..

17 days left..

abit sian.. 17 days left.. can i enjoy all these 17days anot? tired.. still need to work...sian.. work work work.. sian,., aw.. my pi gu very pain.. tired.. no mood.. nite..

Work..

27days to enlistment.. im getting sick and tired of working!! i really wanna hv some of my own time to do things i wan to do! Why is everyone stressing me up??? Fuck la!! all i wan is to SKATE!!! fucking jus becos of work and other stuff stop me from hving fun b4 ns.. im dam fucking sian now.. jus feel like put down all my burden and jus hv fun.. dun give a dam to anything.. jus simply do what i like.. but.. i cant....

did i made a right move?

Kat, even tho we patch after all, i felt something is missing.. i dun feel much love from u like last time.. maybe u r angry becos i saw something i shldnt know, but i didnt blame u for not telling me.. i had forgive u.. reason being i love u.. Cant u tell hw much i need u? To keep u by my side, i had changed for u.. i dun raise my voice.. i give in.. i spend more time with u.. i take initiative to call u.. all i hope is that u will appreciate what im doing for u.. cant u see the diff in me?? i had been very nice to u!! what did i get back in return?? all your scolding.. your black faces.. ignoring me.. the coldness towards me.. im wondering.. we patch is it becos of u pitying me?.. yes.. im pathetic.. i cant get over u.. i cant fall in love with any other gal.. im so weak..mentally.. pls.. all i wan is simply u talking to me nicely, dun raise your voice at me & allow me to ask question.. i will definitly appreciate it alot. Pls treat me as your loved one.

rite now my onli worry going in ns is.. will u even wait for me?.. The answer is very impt to me.. i dun wanna get hurt when im in army.. that kind of feeling is unbearable. Pls assure me with an answer.. an pls stop telling pp we got no future.. if that what u think, no one will see a future in us. I wan to know that u really love, really wish to stay by my side forever.. cos i only wish to love u..

sry.. im jus feeling not very gd.. i need rest..

Im not waiting anymore..

8 March 07 , 6am, i decided to give up completely on kat. im not waiting anymore.. i got to move on.

Kat, the 5yrs being with u.. there is up & down, happiness & sadness.. now, we decided not to be togther anymore, hopefully will be a wise move. Sry Kat, i need a girl who will love me more! Not a girl wh is half hearted! i dun wan to be sharing a gal with the other guy. And i need someone who is more understanding & lady like, unlike u, yours voice is always the loudest, jus like Terence.

reached ecp 6.30am.. talking to henry in his car.. i cant believe.. once agn i shedded my tears for hr agn!! i cried to slp in henry car.. both of us den woke up 10am, den he drive me home..

fall slp 2pm..

im kinda lost..am i?..

some time i doubt she is happy.. and i doubt im happy.. its kinda funny.. so near yet so far.. i guess its sounded sad, but if anythings that isnt belongs to me, it wont be mine. forget it..

oh ya.. recently i over spend $ =_=.. yet i didnt know. wtf.. then now i left with $16. Pay day on 10march07. omg.. hmm.. time for me to find $$ lo.. haha..

Life didnt goes the way we want..

20feb, tue, 11am, went to ecp. Meet Henri, met peng, taitai, leonard, bong, ben, justin, jen, anne, alwin, el, nantiwat etc. alot pp. Heard abt Henri broke up with his gf.. almost same case as mine. i really know hw he feel cos i went through it b4. Its rather painful! We decided to go drink at night. me & bong & henri, we drink. Henri requested that both of us can be sworn brother, i agreed in the witness of Bong & Heiniken^^ haha.. its nice to hv someone close to support u, motivate u, trust, faith, love.. all this is life!!

Bro.. if u see this Post, i would like to tell u..

Move on.. im will always by your side to help u, encourage u & wont allow u to collapse! Rmb u helped me alot?? When i was i a misery status.. u lift me up.. Thx Bitch.. u r my bitch always.. yea smile ya!!

Again.. i gave up.. ( For my Beloved Zixin..)

once agn.. i gave up hope.. but i had no regrets. I had done my part to make u happy, make u smile, give in to u, give u my utmost care & concern but not jealousy or demanding. im glad i can really treat a girl nicely, as a girlfriend. Thx for allowing me to proof my love towards u, and thx for allowing me to treat u like my princess..jus like fairy tales..

But one thing u wouldnt wish to know.. the Dark Truth of Fairy Tales is that all Fairy Tales comes with a bad ending.
& this is the reason why i gave up believing in fairy tales..

If there is a chance to let me take care of u, not for a moment, but for a life time, let me know. I will do my very best to make u a happier person, add colours to your life & be your companion of your life time...

Luv u always..
zac

im wrong..Fairy Tales really dun exists..

Fate is dam cruel, im deeply in love with her.. but yet i cant be with her. even if im with her, im jus sharing her heart with another guy.. is it worth it for me? i dono.. i know i need her, i know i love her alot and i know i wanna be with her alot, but reality jus make it impossible!! Dam Fuck Up!! Shld i jus give up waiting for her and move on? or shld i wait for her to tell me she love me? Being with her for 4.5yrs.. ended jus becos of another guy's appearance after i went oversea.. is it worth it for me?? All i wan is to be with her.. is it that hard?.. ARGHHH!! Why cant i jus stop thinking of her??!! It Affected my life! im in a very confused status.. better stop here b4 my tears shed down..

My New Car!!

11feb07, i bought my Roces SKT 100!!! its really dam nice!! ( visual ) & very shiok ( Feeling ) But, abit pain on the left side. The right side is perfectly Good!! Funny=_=/./ its a sz 3.5 uk. so cute!! i wore it without taking out for long, for 8hrs!! power~~

i miss kat.. im somehw still waiting for the day that she will come to me and tell me that she will love me forever and wanna be with me forever agn.. maybe it will nv happen.. but i believe in miracle & EndlessLove's Existant. Kat, if u see this, hope u know hw i feel..

k see ya all.. gd morning..

Its really complicated..

When u love some one.. u wan them happy.. but in another hand, u r unhappy.. its really hard.. But since love someone is jus to see him or her happy, its worth it.

i will wait till the day when u come to me & tell me u will love me till the end of time..

This is a story that always goes thru my mind..

Daniel and Jasmine are sitting alonein the parkone night....Daniel: I guess we are the left oversin this worldJasmine: I think so... All of myfriends haveboyfriends and we are only the 2persons left inthis world without any special personin our livesDaniel: Yup I don't know what to doJasmine: I know! We'll play a gameDaniel: What game?Jasmine: i'll be your girlfriend for30 days and youwill be my boyfriendDaniel: That's a great plan in fact idon't haveanything to do for the followingweeks...DAY 1:They watch their first movie and theyboth touchedin a romantic filmDAY 4:They went to the beach and had apicnic...Danieland Jasmine had their quality timetogetherDAY 12:Daniel invited Jasmine to a circus andthey rode ona Horror House....Jasmine was scaredand shetouched Daniel's hand but she touchedsomeoneelse's hand and they both laughed...DAY 15:They saw a fortune teller down theroad and theyasked for their future advice and thefortune tellersaid: "My darlings, Please don't wastethe time ofyour life... spend the rest of yourtime togetherhappily" Then tears flow out from theteller's eyesDAY 20:Jasmine invited Daniel to go to thehill and theysaw a meteor...Jasmine mumbledsomethingDAY 28:They sat on the bus and because of abumby roadJasmine gave her first kiss to Danielby accidentDAY 29:11:37pmJasmine and Daniel sat in the parkwhere they firstdecided to play this game...Daniel: I'm tired Jasmine...Do youwant anydrinks? I'll buy you one.. I'll justgo down the roadJasmine: Apple Juice that's allDaniel: Wait for me....20mins later... a stranger approachedJasmineStranger: Are you a friend of Daniel?Jasmine: Why yes? What happened?Stranger: A reckless drunken driverran overDanieland he is critical in the hospital11:57pmThe doctor went out of the emergencyroom andhehanded out an apple juice and a letterDoctor: We found this in daniel'spocketJasmine reads the letter and it says:Jasmine, This past few days, irealized you are areally cute girl and i am reallyfalling for you..Yourcherished.... smile you wereeverything when weplayed this game..... Before this gamewouldend...I wouldlike you to be my girlfriend for therest of my life.... I love youJasmine....Jasmine crumples the paper and shouted:"Daniel ! i don't want you to die... Iloveyou...Remember that night when we sawa meteor,I mumbled something... I mumbled thatI wish wewould be together forever and neverend thisgame.Please don't leave me Daniel.... Ilove you! Youcannot do this to me!"Then the clock strikes 12Daniel's heart stop pumpingTHEN IT WAS THE 30TH DAY........Always love your loved ones and showthem howyou feel before it is too late... Youwill never knowwhen they will be gone from yourembrace... If youwere given a time to bestow petals ofeverlastingcompassion and love to your lovedones? Today isthe day.... Love them while they arestill here...

Peace Finally!!

Im happier and stressless now. Not like last time used to drown myself by liquor. can save $ !! The rd is still far.. I had lost something.. my dignity.. but i guess it will come back to me very soon as long as she give it back to me. Hope im right.. i choosed to trust, i choosed to love.. i wont regret. see ya.. meet terry lo!~!
\

Final Decision..

Right now, 430am 5feb07, kat is making her final decision.. to stay or go.. somehw i hope we will get back together as a happy couple like what we had last time..and somehw i hope i could let her go forever.. whatever her decision is.. i will respect. But there will only be one answer.. stay or go..

im really tired.. i wan to make a final decision too.. its tough, but no choice, everything has an ending.. after all, my decision will depends on her decision..

Love can be a very nice and sweet thing to hv, but it can be nasty and bitter. it hard to predict, so we got to mound it to the way we wan. All the best to us..

Am i happy??..

Knowing kat love bevan so much in kat blog.. i really wonder..did she even used love me??.. guess i love someone that dun love at all in the five yrs.. im so blind. Until now my mind set of waiting for her is still in my mind..but i got to move on.. so the only way is to hate her.. hate both of them.. but i shldnt.. i guess im stucked. Haha.. i sounded so stupid.. my temper is still so bad..properly due to so much problem in 2007.. only 1mth.. im so fuck up, so stressed up.. holy mama shit.. dam sian.. so i decided to relax myself b4 going in for ns. i will be working jus part time from now.. i got to enjoy myself and hv all the fun that i nv had thx to kat!! Becos of her, my life = no life. Thought that me and her will be together forever will make our life perfect..but ended up what she told me is all packs of lies. i really hate her for this.. she is the only friend that is so fucking rude to me! this is something that im angry with.. even steven, darren everyone shows me respect by talking to me nicely, but things that she said to me is way too much!! even my mother dun say nasty things to me, and hw she got the rite to say me?? nvm.. forget it..

rite here waiting for u? haha.. EndlessLovez happens only in fairy tales..

life changes.

Now that i had gave up waiting for her, i felt happier, im glad that im able to let go. haha.. i had to. this few days was with Fooker they all, happy all day, didnt even think of kat at all. hoho..with jus play and play and play, nothing esle! Had fun, tons of fun. Thx to them im out of my dream land, im back to reality. New life started. oh ya, valentine coming!! but this year abit diff.. haha think of the bright side, no need to spend $!!! haha..hw mean of me. But i decided to hv my valentine dinner with my love one, my Family!! Thru out my bad time, they r always with me, i sad, they sad, i happy, they happy! pp who helped me to pull thru my miserable days, i thx u guys!! Really thx to Guan Liang, Henri, Raven, Terry, My Team Fookers, Os, My Family, Steven, Adam, Kai shi, Chee Mai, Simon, Bong & Ben!! U guys indeed in great help to me, and i really appreciate what u guys had done for me! Thx ya all!! gtg lo, see ya all.

My Love Story Ended here..

Dear Kat,

Thank u for being with me all these years..be it u really love me or be it u pity me, i thank u for adding colour to my life!! We met each other 5yrs ago as a friend, suddenly become young couple, then really in love with each other..hw nice..hw sweet..haha.. we quarrel..we argue.. and we hv our own happy moments! i miss all these!! And now, our love had came to an ended.. i wish u happy. i wont blame u for leaving me, cos there isnt a need now. In my heart i know hw much i love u, hw much i need u.. but as u said, i cant give u the happiness u wan..so no choice, i got to let u go.

No need to apologize, i had forgave and forgot. Luv ya zac.

i got to move on..

no choice.. no point looking back.. she wont come back anymore.. i got to move on.. the person she love is not me..is bevan.. all she said is hw good is bevan..together with him very happy etc.. and i know its all over.. her love for me ended here.. i got to forget her.. i had to.. i dun wanna ruin my happiness becos of her.. i believe there is still a girl outside who is willing to proof to me that endlesslove do exists..

For kat..

Being with u all this 5yrs.. im really happy..even tho we quarrel, im still happy..being with u makes me happy.. and my happy moment ended here.. My dream die at this very moment.. For the very last time.. Kat.. i love u..

Hope everything goes well for u.. see u...

luv, zac

Fcking my Life is Fcking Fuck up!!

To Love, or not? to wait, or not? i jus wanna stay happy like last time.. i cant even smile now.. all my smile is so fake.. i cant deny that i still love her, i still miss her.. i wan her to be happy.. but i cant take it when ever bevan and her r so loving.. i cant.. i wanna move on.. but im stuck rite here!! my mind think so nothing but her.. even in my dreams.. its nothing but her!! Even when im asleep..my mind is playing tricks on me! i had enough of slpless nite..im tired.. some hw i really wish to let everything go and move on..i really wan to.. the way she treating me now is so cold.. is it that im no where in her heart now?? most likely.. in her heart now is only bevan and nothing esle.. world changes..life changes.. everything jus went insane..im very lost.. dono what to do.. all i wan is a gal that truly love my forever so that i could go with her forever.. i thot kat is the one.. but i guess im wrong.. im alone.. after 5yrs.. im all alone.. i can feel the pain in my heart.. i wanna be with her.. but its next to impossible..

i felt like im not belongs to this world..

went to ecp yesterday..didnt reAlly expect to see her there..out of a sudden my mood is all gone.. Bevan called her..she picked up the call.. she forget her promise..the promise that once bevan left both of both wont contact each other. nvm la..if she isnt a bitch she will keep the promise.. she broke all the promises..that she had made to me..which is very disappointing..

went to drink with steven..drunk.. then home 2.30am terry helped my pay cab fare haha..
some hw i really missed her..then sometime i hate her..i really wonder what is this feeling..im like jus lost in a ocean..but i know i love her more then i hate her..

There is a wound in my heart..

nv in my life felt so pain b4.. this is the 1st time..and i hope it will be the last. She had left a scar in my heart..it will be forever there..the tears i shedded.. can fill a swimming pool.. enough..i dont wan all this shit!!.. its hurts..but i really got to move on..which is kinda hard..without her by my side. I hope i could make it.

My Dream of marrying her in a church of Barcelona..is gone..its gone...

im going insane!!!!!!

after all this im still thinking of her.. seening her loving bevan so much makes me hurt like mad..i know its not worth for me to love her..but i cant forget her at all!! wtf la.. nvm.. im going insane..

mental and physically broke down...

guess physically im not that good too..haha..didnt expect i will fall sick.. sian..now hving fever and flu.. i called her..dono why..maybe becos i miss her??.. shld be..now im jus feeling too weak.. i always wan her to be by my side, till forever.. but i guess its really no hope any more.. the way she talk and speak to me..is treating me as an enemy..its kinda pain.. i seriously think time dun heals well.. the longer she left me, the more im hurting..in my heart. Bevan left to australia, but coming back in 2 mth time. which is like so awhile. but i guess its not my problem anymore.

sometime..i really wanna be happy..but i find it so hard..i love her, i need her, i miss her..but i know i cant!! i know if i continue thinking of her..i will collapse!! Is there a really good way to forget her?? can someone pls tell me??

yesterday i dreamed of her agn.. its all abt our happy moment.. Fck la..even the dream oso playing a trick on me!! when i wake up..my heart break..loving a person isnt easy..cant understand why am i still love her so deeply..i dun understand..after what she had said to me..what she did to me..why am i still fcking cant forget her?!? FCK LA!!! im very lost..very very lost..

i really hope i can find someone who will really love me and willing to love me forever.. but in my mind i know its hard. My parents thot she will be the one and only gal in my life..but everything jus gone..jus thx to a guy..that took alway my love one..i hate him..but it is oso the gal at fault..if she really love me..she wouldnt do things like this.. she wont hurt me like this.. take it as i really love her too much..ended up the one who's hurting is me..it really took me 5yrs to see what kind of person u r.. prove me wrong..but its hard..i guess u cant forget it..

im being trapped in love and hate. im love her..but i hate her.. im confused. dono what to do..
but she had decide for me..which she chose to leave me for another guy.. i jus hoping that i wont think of her so much..and lead my life as normal..jus that...without her existant...

if u wanna know hw much i love her..

I really thought there is EndlessLove..

this is my anwser.

gd nite..

somehow..i felt empty..

days past..its almost coming to a mth.. im still feeling empty..i miss the day we skate togther, eat together, hv fun together..i wan back the old days..but after this incident..i find that i didnt really treAT her very well.. its true that i love her alot but.. i know myself..i got no much patiance, no much time to accompany her etc..its really my fault..that why rite now i dun blame her anymore for leaving me for a better guy.. somehow i regrets too.. but its too late.. recently still cant slp well..countless sleepless nite is torturing me!! Downing liquor to put myself to slp everyday..is not what i wan.. i wanna be happy..yet i feel like shedding tears.. if time really heals..why cant i go back to my normal life??? i guess im not that strong after all..physically maybe i am..but mentally im really not. hw can i forget her?? i dono.. this is a obstruction for my progression.. guess its too early le..got to get some slp...zzZZ

Lifez..

life is kinda meaningless, do u agree? Life is like all abt working everyday, heart break everytime.. sadness is often more then happiness. Maybe its only applies to me, but i guess there is pp like me. Sometime things can really make me confused, lost or even move the wrong step. But i believe if there is Love, Promise, Trust, Faith & Hope is life, everything gonna be almost perfect. There will always a Hope within everyone, jus that maybe its not time yet. Have Faith in your self and u will find a better life. Trust yourself, no matter what, listen to your heart, be it yes or no. Promises to yourself or friends shld be kept almost till the end of time. And when it comes to Love.. its almost everywhere.. mother's love, father's love, friend's love and of cos a life time partner's love. If Love didnt handle properly, the down side will be turning love to become hate. Its quite funny. Hv anyone went through a really long relationship that u thot it will last forever? i did. In fact, i always thot that this lady will be my life time partner..sad part is, jus out of a sudden, its gone.. this lady of my life left me.. this is hw a Love changed to Hate.. But we shldnt hate. Only until recently i jus understand what is love.. Loving a person jus wish to see them happy.. Do EndlessLove Even Exist in this World? i dono.. but i hope there is..

What is Love?..

Finally i realise to love someone is to see them happy. Its not to own her, but to love her. I wonder what i had done in the past is it wrong?.. maybe.. im glad that im able to let go. Kat.. wish u all the best.. be it with Bevan or anyone esle, stay happy. But i hope to let u know, i guess i love u too deep.. i know i still love u, but u r gone.. maybe forever.. dun worry i wont ruin myself, instead i will show the world who i am!! i will follow my Dreams..to become a superd Skater! All The Best!!

My Normal life..

everything is back to normal, the onli diff is, im single le..after 5 Yrs with kat.. i finally able to get over her le. thx to what she had done that made me decided to give up hope on her. my days is getting smoother..my daily routine keeps me away from thinking of her.haha..its simple yet boring. Morning wake up, work, night skate, home maple, slp. Mum told me not to be sad. cos there is always a right girl waiting for me, jus that fate is yet allowing us to cross our path. haha..thx mum..i love u. when i was down u, u r there for me, when im angry, u will be there to calm me, when i was losted, u will direct me. when im sad, she sad, when im happy, she is happy. This Mother love. Kat love compare to my mum love towards me is nothing! since i got a women in my life that i loved more then kat, why bother to beg at her? haha..kat..i guess u know why im able to get through all this pain and suffering that u gave to me. Its My Mum. some hw u dono what is love. onli my mum knows.

Love's pro and con

Love had cos my mentally unstable..becos of love i almost gone insane.. But becos of love i found myself a group of really good fren!! Frens is truly always be there for me but my own gf..will onli be there to freaking hurt me.. hmm.. u guy see the diff now??..if possible, dun give up your frens jus becos of a gal... i had learn alot after this incident..i took damn 5yrs to see kat's true colour..abit long but its better then after we got married. wish my fren all the best ya!! Wsih my Ex DUN REGRAT!! HAHAHA... i will live my life to the best!

The power of Love is so strong yet so fragile...

yes i love u..but i cant.. i wanna put in 100% to love u..but..u jus went away.. im really having a hard time..really hope i will get through it, forget abt it asap..so that i could get a new life.. being with u..i got no pride, i got no dignity..cos no matter hw badly u treated me..i will still love u madly.. Thx to bevan for snatching u away from me..haha..now i got back my pride, my long lost dignity!! i will still miss u..everyday, every moment, every sec.. but too bad.. what u had done is unforgiveable..u hurt me deeply..too deep..there will be a deep scar..telling me that i will nv get one more like this..i dun wanna get hurt agn.. Kat..the reason why i almost collapse is..simple, i thot we really could last forever..u told me that.. and u told me im the onli man u will love in your whole life.. the intention of getting enage with u when we reach 21 is always in my mind..but everything is jus like fairy tales..i wont happen..now i know what is reality..which is cruel..being cheated is worse!..fuck up feeling.. im lost..

my dearest frens..

im able to stand up agn and really thx to all my frens..giving my support.. special thx to Terry, Guan Liang, Henri, Edwin. im really lucky that i had u guys as my frens..im proud to hv u guys! i will forget her..its not worth it for me to love her..and she dun deserve it !! after this incident, i will make sure i treat my next gf 10 times better! im sure kat will regret for leaving me for another guy that she know onli for few days!! KAT LAW CHEE SIM!! NOW F OFF FROM MY LIFE!!!

Nightmare of my Life began...

when i came back to sg from sabah.. i meet up with kat.. for a concert. den i saw her msg in her phone..all kind of shit in it..wtf lo..den she anyry..say i dun trust her blah blah..den she ask for a break..=_=..i du lan so i left the scene.. wil came to look for me.. i decided to go countdown with them. cos they meeting jame and bevan, this two bastard who ruin my life.. taken away my love one..its is actually none of james business. Its Bevan who came in to me and kat relationship..fucker..sure will hv retribution. Half way to meet bevan etc.. kat and wil they all left me behind...alone..its raining and super crowded..sp i cant find them..i lost them..at the same time..i lost kat..i walk around alone for 2hrs..then i went home..kat went to wil hse to drink etc.. and msging bevan etc..at this moment, they are together le..WTF !! i saw kat msg etc.. kat calling bevan Baby etc.. bevan calling kat Darlin..haiz.. i feel like dying ..but i wont do that. that is stupid. after everything..kat had been going to bevan hse to stay over night etc.. and meeting him everyday..everyday seening my gf getting closer and closer to bevan..my heart hurts more and more..its really damn hurtful..nv so sad b4..everying started from 29dec06-now... i cant slp at all for a few days..i cried every nite when i tried to slp...my mum came over to console me..my fren accompany almost every day.. but i still cant get over..until one day..14jan07 5am.. i went down to find kat and bevan etc with henri,terry and edwin. i asked her hu she wanna be with..her reply was bevan.. and she told me that being with me is jus pitying me..at that point, i shattered..my mind went blank..i hate her... thx to her words..i made up my mind..to forget her.. bye my love...

If time is able to turn back, i will love u more...

A new year..but a really bad start. i lost someone i loved so much, so important to me, that i need so much.. and i lost a fren.. kat lefted me... everything happen so suddenly.. after i left sabah for a Demo, kat went to meet maria ex with maria.. and met bevan..a guy whom took away my everything..i really hate him..really feel like ending his life.. fuck up..