principles

i think i've just betrayed my own principles. shame on me! and to think the topic is about what i wrote on my previous articles.

what is it i'm talking about?

well, let me put it this way. last monday i went to arab street to err try that sheesha thingy. i know i know, some people feel it's considered smoking, some don't. some feel its not very dangerous, some feel its worst than smoking a few packs of cigarettes. so what't the truth actually?

actually it's worst than smoking. the flavours that comes in the sheesha actually masks the tobacco smell. what makes it worst than smoking cigarettes is the fact that one can smoke sheesha for hours at one go. and furthermore its pure tobacco that's invovled, so there's no filter.

so why did i try? i also don't know. the thing is as it is well documented, i am against SMOKING. i hate cigarrettes. i hate the smell, and the fact that is is detrimental to your health. it can be addictive. but the main factor that dissuades me against smoking is that it is a pointless habit that wastes money. but why did i go and try out sheesha? the only reason is that firstly it isn't addictive, and it doesn't have that distinct tobacco smell. and also i'm not saying it's value for money, but it isn.t really as expensive as cigarettes. but that isn't the main reason actually. it's just that sheesha tastes more pleasant than cigarettes actually.

so much for my anti-smoking stance. i'll guess i won't touch that thing anymore. for the record. after i was done with the sheesha session, my throat felt very sore and 2 days later i developed flu. haha i think my body is just not used to such things. so i better stop such nonsense. before i go out of control and become even wilder (i am very sure i've become so much crazier and wilder since enlistment), i better but a stop to it. haha. ( oh please don't divulge this to my parents! very important!)

anyway yesterday i followed my sec sch military band to national stadium. 2006 syf central judging band competition! i followed the bus from school to the stadium. it kidna reminded me of my days. as i stepped down from the bus, i could feel it. flashback to 2002. me as the section leader of my section. the pressure! the fear! was termendous. you could really feel it. it was a pressure cooker of an atmosphere.

it's really pressurising. millions(ok maybe a few thousand) turned up to watch. i remember last time, when i was part of the band. all the months of practices that we had, but only 1 show to show for all the effort put in. THAT show on the day itself. it will show how good or how bad, how well prepared we all were.

but yesterday. my band couldn't really come up with the goods. they got gold, but not good enough to proceed to the next round. the aftermath of it all also made me think back. i saw crying faces of everyone. i remember. flashback again to 2002. the heartbreak. hearing the annoucement that wasn't music to my ears. i did cry, but only 1 tear flowed. then i forced myself to stop. i knew many others would cry. but the heartbreak, i could feel it. that feeling sucks. you know, when you put in so much effort into something, yet u know it's never going to be good enough, because there is always something or someone so much better than you. i hate that feeling.

after the band comp i met up with fab and jj to catch the north london derby. about that robbie keane goal, i must say it is a sucky goal to concede. i feel that the goal is legitimate, but i'm just sore that they had to concede the goal THAT way. what luck. at this rate we won't qualify for the champion league then. damn. i guess winning the champions league itself is the only way i guess.

anyway the weather recently has been sucky. really blistering hot afternoons. followed by torrential rains, then humid weather to follow. it sucks. it doesn't help with the mood. and next weekend there's a class pool and karaoke session! damn it i'm confined again. and theres a outing to jb on the 9th, a tuesday. have they gone mad? its a WEEKDAY. obviously none of the guys aren't free. haha i think everyone needs alot of rescheduling. i myself need to reschedule alot of my own things. sigh.

sian

this is probably the shortest entry ever.

nowadays i just feel like screaming and running away from this place.

i just want to run away from it all.

and just keep running away, and never turn back.

but i'll probably have to face up to it anyway.

ps

ok so tomorrow my recruits are enlisting. and it doesn't help that i'm a platoon sergeant now. it means more responsibilities. much more, actually. and i've been my name's been submitted for the gruelling platoon sergeant course. most likely i've to go back to those forests and train again. arrgh! life sucks. means i might just miss the champions league final, which hopefully arsenal will feature in and win it.

so last ssaturday had that chalet. actually it was 2 hotel rooms that were so small, it made our bunks back in tekong more comfortable. so squeezy! we ended up just stayig up the whole night through talknig nonsense, then i left in the morning around 6.30 am to go sleep at the southern most point of mainland asia. haha and everyone thought i just walked out on them. sorry, was just trying some peace and comfort. it was tiring entertaining nas, who was really drunk. or rather intoxicated. no i forgot the term. all i know he was just talking nonsense and a whole lot of bullshit the whole night. haha it's really funny when you see how someone's who drunk is like. they're really hilarious, making a complete fool out of themselves unknowingly. so i saw for myself was bacardi, smirnoff and chivas was.

they actually tried to get me to try smoking. my stand is always this - if i wanted to start smoking, i would have done it long ago. why wait till now? so i didn't. sutan practically got the rest to try it out abit, but i didn't. i'm simply not interested in smoking. why? it's like not beneficial to me anyway, and it's a waste of time anyway. even though he rolled one stick for me(they were smoking those diy cigarettes), i still declined.

so just now after a late lunch with ismail at bukit batok, i dropped by city chain, and got myself another watch! haha i mean it was on 50% discount, although the watch is an older model but i thought i got a deal for myself. an adidas(what else?) climacool watch costing me only $54.50! haha i think it's nice, althoguh i couldn't get the colour i wanted. but still, i've a new watch. so that makes it my 3rd purchase of watches within 10 months. is crazy!

and i think i might just get that new holland jersey. it looks very old school though, and the emblem is really very classic. retains an old charm about it. but still nice. i'm actually looking for an old soviet union adidas(what else?) jersey, that i saw someone wearing it in the mrt the other day. i thought it looked nice! 'cause that day i saw fairus wore the french version, and i checked it out, it costs around $59 only! but so far i've only managed to see only the french and the japanese version. errgh, the japanese one is really ugly, with the words 'NIPPON' scrawled behind. at least NEDERLAND would definitely look nicer. or DEUTSCHLAND.

so tomorrow all the things will start again. BORING! luckily i've a full establishment in my platoon, so i don't have to do much platoon duties. although tomorrow will be a very busy day. till then.

p.s. - i've finally changed my troublesome tagboard. do find time to fill it up yea! haha