Got back from an interview at NTUC Centre No. 1 Marina Boulevard. Haha.. the address sounds "pro" right. It really was. The whole building belongs to NTUC. (not the Fairprice Supermarket... Its the corporation. ) NTUC= Nation Trade Union Congress.. if i dint remember wrongly from the Sec3 SS textbook.. haha..

Went to 11th floor and i felt quite out of place. I felt like a small child amidst all working adults. Then i waited till 10.15 when they called me to the 13th floor for the interview. 2 persons interviewed me.. A guy and a lady. The guy was very friendly kept smiling and looked abit like Andrew Zhan.. yep the guy who hosted TJCCO Nite 2004. The guy did most of the talking and the lady only asked a question. Both were quite nice people lar...

Think i still remembered the questions:

1) Are u waiting for your results? Which school are you from?
2) Are u going to further your studies?
3) Any work experience?
4) Can you handle nasty and ridiculous customers?
5) Got any such experience dealing with them? Describe?
6) Do you know the working hours?
7) How well are you familiar with the job of a call ctr clerk?
8) Have you seen a call ctr?
10) They have to wear headphones u know?
11) Can u use the PC?
12) How familiar are u with the NTUC?
13) Ask my dad whether he has got the new version of the link card.. (pple, those haven go change, pls change)
14)What if the customer is very nasty and keep scolding u, how?
15) When can you start work and when are you availiable till?

Haha.. its amazing i can recall.. haha maybe i did forgot some.. ahah.. still the interview was a plesant one.. Heard from eeeling that she has got a friend working there.. So coincidental.. Hope we can become colleagues.. =)

Hmm.. one trouble.. i dont have much "working clothes " to sustain if i am going to work.. Have to buy liao.. oh dear.. spend money..

I'm waiting for imagestation to upload the HK pics.. I know its late but better than never.. Haha.. Wonder why the process of uploading is so slow.. Then how come people can stand uploading so many photos onto it? Or maybe its me who dont have the patience? Cant be. its really slow.

Anyway, bought Mayday's 5th album. Nice one =) I want to listen to it now but it seems like its missing. Think my sister took it to CO. Haiz. So now, i am bored while waiting for the photos to get uploaded.

Nothing much to say now at the beginning of the day. I shall end here. Anyway, thanks Andrea and Wanyi for the e-cards. =)
Merry Christmas.. Do people work on christmas and new year's eve huh?

:: Spendthrift::

Happy Birthday Chongtang!

overview.. oops the elephate too dark to be seen.. 

The theme for this tree: White christmas.. 

Angel says.. 

How come so blur.. Must be i held the camera too near.. Anw.. saw the YL on the flower cookie? Haha i dint make it.. Either yinjie huizhen or esther did.. 

The elephant.. Esther decorated it.. 

The christmas tree that i decorated! I liked this the most 

The Christmas Goodie Bag to put the cookies! Esther and her mum made it. 

Went to city hall and chinatown with yinjie yesterday. Actually I dont know where on earth is Peninsula Plaza. Infact, i only know where is Peninsula Shopping Plaza and Peninsula Excelsior Hotel. The good thing is we went there and found out that Peninsual Plaza is just opposite. So, we went to the Powernet Job Agency.. The lady there was nice and said her sources of job mostly came from.. AngMioKio and Novena!! Haha.. though i wouldnt mind that far but the thought of travelling makes me sian..

Then we went to eat at the Indian Restaurant. Food there is still nice :p

Next we went to Chinatown because yinjie is accompanying me to an interview at a travel agency there. The interview is so short! 2 minutes settled it all i guess or maybe lesser. Seriously i think the interviewer is more anxious than me lor and her English is bad. Not that I have a superb command of English grammar but her mistakes are.....okie, Ms Tan from my primary school will kill her.
Alright. I am not very keen about this job because of its working environment.. (its quite messy with all the paper documents)
Then they call me to go for interview again today. I was wondering did they miss me out yesterday or did they lost my records.. Hmm..or did i get in? Anw i decided not to go..

After the interview which was still early, we went Esther's house at Admiralty. Oh gosh, that far. We "chap" in to bake the gingerbread cookies. It was fun.. cutting the shapes with the mould and the decoration with the icing and sweets and toppings=) Got some at my house now.. See the photos.. (hehe) But it took us quite long to finish all.. It was about 11 pm when we left her house.. So her mum fetch us all the way to Tanah Merah. That journey took 1/2 hr and i managed to catch the last bus.. Phew.

Okie.. tomorrow i ll be going for 2 interviews. One at Orchard at 9.30pm.. at TienHsia Educational Center.. (anybody heard of it) and 2nd one at Tampines Mart for the position of Dental Assistant.. Hope they will be successful though i am looking forward to the latter because its better pay and nearer.. Hehe..

Colourful!

Havent had my lunch yet.. cos' i m not hungry yet.. Been skipping lunch lately maybe because i have been getting up quite late, having my breakfast at 10.30am and how is it possible to have my lunch erm at 1.30pm..

Having sleepless nights also..Its so different for the past 2 yrs when sleeping has never been a problem. Such a hectic lifestyle for the past 2 years has allowed me to fall into deep sleep very soon once i touch the bed.. Now.. i have to toss n turn, listen to cds, read a book before i can sleep. And even with those, sleeping is still so... difficult. Yep.

Oh.. qi yu wu so shuai during Star Awards last night. Last night was a night of glamour for mediacorp stars which reminds me of TJ's prom. I like LyeYiLing's gown last night.. Jacelyn's tay also.. So pretty! Haha..The guys were just normal.. with the exception of Christopher Lee's orange shoes with his formal suit! Haha so special.

Realised i like guys or should i say celebs with little words.. Qiyuwu is so stingy with his words. Sly too and needless to say, JAY!!!! They just seem so mysterious, yep cool (even thou some say they r faking it), and so... qi miao.. Qiyuwu: go learn up an instrument n i ll like u even more. Flower Idiot me.

An interesting fun fact to share: Say "colourful" and " i love you". Trying lip reading them, they r actually the same.. =)

:: Colourful Jay! Colourful Qiyuwu! Colourful Sly!::

I think i am really bored because i am changing my blogskin so often! Maybe its because i found flaws in them so quickly.

Anyway, I was reading a book "Down With Love" recently. Yep, just finished it. It was basically all crappy for the first part of the book and it only started to at least have" content" towards the end. Its a very pro-feminist book, based on the 6os , saying how women can actually behave the same as men at those times, in both workplace as well as in a relationship. Quite meaningful.. My sis is reading it now otherwise i would type in an excerpt from there..

Alright, i am going hongkong in 2 days time. Excited? Not really because i dont really know what to expect from there also. Singapore is getting quite cold these days also..Wonder if its almost the same there, if yes then i tink its not quite exciting.. Hmm.. thinking of the trip to Beijing during sec 2, the weather there is so drastically different from Singapore. That was exciting=)
Oh yah.. dont sms me there from Singapore.. It costs a bomb anyway and heard that both parties need to pay.. Haha..(its not like i recieve alot of sms thesedays.. my phone has been quiet and sleepy since grad nite? oh dear.. )

::Blog till i drop? Nah..its not like i m so into it::

haha.. went shopping for grad nite's makeup.. there goes my money again..fly away..

Nevermind.. haha.. hows the cookies? Got looks not? Hehe.. though the taste not very nice because its abit hard and the recipe is all nonsense!!!It was stated: Bake at 170degress in a pre-heated oven for 15 minutes.. Tick tock tick tock, 15 minutes passed and i took out the cookies but it still tasted like batter! So i adjusted to 220degrees for 20 minutes.. What a big difference!
Well, that had my afternoon well spent.

Oh yarh, those are pictures of my hamster(quite blur) and my baby cousin Junyang.. yes.. same name as my 2A classmate..So cute! heehee

::Eye-power I-power::

my baby cousin! 

the cookies i baked! =) 

Hee... this is Mr TerTer! 

I think i have to, no i must, get a job.. Shant idle at home too much..
To my surprise, i haven been blogging for ages, and yet theres no "i have so much to tell" feeling..

I have writtena list of things i want to complete during this holiday though.And on the top of the list : Get a JOB!!! I was thinking its defintely difficult to take on a new challenge in a new environment and cases of friends getting the same job is rare. But still have to go to work right? I
dun wanna be "wu yu you min". Haha

Graduation nite preparation is done. Just finished buying the shoes and everything. I hope that night is fun though, hope most of the class can come and share the fun.. in the hotel room, share the cost too.. Hehe :p

Bought a digi cam at sitex fair yesterday. Quite satisfied with it, zhi zu chang le..=)The Sitex Fair was so crowded lor, everywhere is so crowded, cant really enjoy window shopping when its supposed to be slow paced.. All the crowds made it impossible le

Haha, finished Summer Scent Vcd, now i am on another korean show: Tian Tang de Jie Ti (steps to heaven), another tragic story i tink, the story plot is somehow like Autumn in My Heart but i this this is more "cham"..
Its about this small girl and boy who grew up together, like each other so much and its mid-way between siblings love and puppy love. They were very close and promised to go abroad for studies together. Until the girl's father remarried, and the stepmother brought with her her son and daughter. Her stepsister and mother tortured and prevented her from seeing the guy. (SO BAD!) Then, somehow which is along story, the guy had to go abroad w/o her..(SO SAD!) Then the story goes as the girl met with an accident and lost her memory.. hmm... (the rest haven watch yet hehe)

:: JOB!I am looking for you!:

Its been so long from my previous entry.
I finally did what i wanted to do, erm, since the JCT? Haha, went with yinjie to excelsior hotel for the indian food today. (ok, y do i sound so sian?)

Hmm, we just went to excelsior hotel without knowing where it is and where the restaurant was located though. Just sixth sense and it landed us there, alright, maybe a little help from a security guard. :p It kind of surprised me to find out that theres so many indian shops in excelsior shopping centre. I can actually find people learning to play the banjo, dancing and some worship thingys..We went in the restaurant feeling so ulu.. Haha.. Dint really know where to start.. Hmmm.. but the food was nice! I m sure i will be going back there..=) I paid 5 dollars.. though feeling abit guilty because they are such nice people, plus the ambience was special.. But as yinjie said, we dint actually ate alot, just average..=)

Oh ya. did i forget to mention.. i saw hanwen n anbu there. so qiao. Something's fishy though.. hehe

Then we went Carrefour, Paya Lebar This Fashion, Tampines Popular. We tried on some dress but we concluded that even though those are nice, we werent probably have any chance to wear them though.. Considering erm.. how far later in this year then i ll have the chance to go out and slack anymore?

Oh ya, did this sushi yesterday. Turn out i bought the wrong sushi vinegar. i think i bought this japanese sauce. BUT! they were of the same colour and i actually read the food label, it dint gave me a definite clue to whether its vinegar, but i saw glutinous rice and fermentation and i tot vinegar is a product of fermentation. So i was quite sure i bought the correct one but it turn out to be wrong!?! Quite disappointing but my sis says it taste quite good still, w/o the vinegar i mean..

Tomorrrow school's opening. As much as i dread it, i have to drag myself there.. n earlier than usual.. changing the timetable by 10 minutes earlier means i ll need to wake 10 precious minutes earlier! Argh..

Oh, i m totally infatuated with qi yuwu and michael morschitvs..

:: Cream of 'D' Crop::
:: Ingredients: 100% passion 100% vision 100% ideas::
:: Dont they learn maths::

Disappoinment yesterday.
Hopes for today.

Accidentally stumbled upon this picture minutes ago.. It looked so peaceful, so nice. But i doubt its real, must be effects from photoshop.

Just had my 3rd biology practical test this morning. Haha, whats worth mentioning is that each time i have a bio prac test, i ll have free buffet lunch (leftovers though). 1st time was during national day celebrations, finished our prac and helped ourselves to the food. Today, the cleaner actually approached us. So good. Free, can save money somemore.. =)

Bought a gardenia loaf today. Focasccia bread if thats how to spell it. Made from herbs and olive oil.. I shall make myself a sandwich, haha later!?! Anyway,the bread smells real nice.

Now, i am really considering about overseas studies. My mum sort of allow le, but i am only considering australia or NZ i guess.. Hmm, well that is if i can get the scholarship. But shrugz, what am i going to study? I have no confidence in medicine anymore, i guess its just not the passion, if not, why does the length of the course frightens me? It just occured to me that maybe i should take physics? Wow. A total 180degrees turn from biology. However, most organisations are more interested in economics students.. Well, afterall every company needs a financial department but not every company require a research and development dept. Hmm.. alright, maybe i am sure unsure. Okie, its not maybe , it should be i am unsure. I am not so keen about overseas education sometimes, things have their pros and cons. Just cant find the passion, the purpose..

:: its less than a month away::

Peaceful beach.. thou i doubt is real.. 

Cannot make it.
Numbed by tutorials? Wah, who's got that ability? Me lor.
I want to go out! I have been home for whole 3 days this long weekends. Cooped at home. Not that i dont want to go out. If somebody jolly well ask me go out ydae? today? I would have agreed. Bored to tears. Guess i have been utilising every sms i can. Bored. To the bones.

Even when 2 birds flew into my living room, i got scared and screamed. At least it made me less bored. Hilarious? Yah, i think so. Why twins effect is out on 12 Aug? I would have gone to watch.. erm.. ydae if it was launched yesterday. But its money again. Did i mention? I have to bring 60 dollars to school for class fund and grad night deposit. Ouch.

:: _____ to the core, to tears and to the bones. Fill in the blank ::

I have been feeling grouchy lately. Sorry to those whom i have ignored, scolded, harsh to for the past week. Dont know whats gotten into me, just dont feel like talking or making any sound at times. Just felt like keeping quiet sometimes, stone, dream, think and sleep.

But feeling quite alright now, in view of the long weekend ahead. Although i know its going to be a mugging weekend AGAIN, it just feel good to escape from the revision tests and practicals going on, TEMPORARILY. Realised its a very vulnerable period for many of us. Once stress sets in, everyone gets so vulnerable. If u scold me now, i tink i ll just break down into tears, or scold you back. Its better to be able let things out than to keep them all inside i think.

Just bought Jay's cd, that is so nice. Personally, i think thats just his style and i like it so much. Realised there usually arent any happy songs in his albums, all the non-rap songs are talking about parting, regretting and stuffs like that. There arent any songs that explicitly talk about couples being in love and stuffs like that. However, the MVs sometimes display otherwise. How come huh? I wonder.. Hmm, track 2 and 6 are so nice.. they're my fav on the cd, for the time being.

I have been wanting to eat katong laksa, indian food, try durian pastry for soooo long le. Still, havent got the chance to satisfy my crave. Argh, guess that ll be months later le right. And, twins effect II coming out on 12 Aug, feel like watching but yet subconciously, i forbid myself. Contradictory.

Oh ya, for those swensens ice cream lovers, there's a promotion going on, in celebration of Singapore's 39th birthday. The topless 5, usually priced at $6.5, is now priced at $1.39.++ 15% GST and serv charge. Haha, the good thing is no minimum purchase is required. Valid only on wk days (i tink) and dine-in customers. Dont know when this promotion will be on till though. In case you are wondering why i know those details, yep, i ate it today. While i appear to be so enthusiastic about this promotion, my family seems to be so indifferent about it. They dint show any signs of interest when i told them about it leh. Weird.

:: Vulnerability of Life <-->Permeability of stress ?? Double ended arrow, equilibrium has to be achieved ::

haiz, another wasted day.. Its not wasted because nothing happened, in fact, too many things happened.. Huizhen's birthday party, Physic DE test, JTS, Temasek IP Openhouse.. Today was so packed till i dint have time to do any tutorials, thus feeling super guilty now.

I still have alot of tutorials to clear before i can start revising. (Thats basically all subjects!) 1) Physics: Buoyant, Viscous, Non-viscous. 2) Maths: Loci and Complex Misc 3) Bio: Control of flowering 4) Chem: Transition, Grp 2 Grp 7... 3 words: Die Liao Lor! But maybe i should really start while clearing my tutorials? Multi-tasking, how skilled am i? Still quite devastated over the fact that i am going to have Prelims S Paper.. My Maths S how? Each time i sit down and tries to plan the study timetable, i am so lost. Time is running short, 4 weeks to prelims? Or even shorter? Scared, i dint dare to count despite the constant reminders from tutors.

Have been staying back in school, to study in the library.. self-grounding till 7.30pm. This will have to continue, otherwise i ll just doze off while doing tutorials at home, esp in the afternoon.. But, i only have 2 wkdays afternoons to afford each week,Monday and Thursday... Thats how pathetic my timetable is.

The past week was a disastrous! 8 tests! How did i survive? Scrape through everything lor, dint study for all of them in detail, after all the concepts are there means there are there le mah. Whats there to study? Oopz, its this constant thinking in my mind that makes me want to slack everytime. I have to abolish this thinking.

3 persons have commented on my face for the past week. They say its so pale, even paler than before. But well, Ms Wong say i will be better after A's.. I certainly will! Duh..

:: Press on, Hang on ::

Did i mention blood donation drive 2004 @ tjc? yeah, u are right.. i donated my blood.

Of 9 who went forward to donate, only 3 from our class managed to pass all the blood tests and etc, to go till the donating bed (do u call the bed tt? haha..shrugz) and have your arms injected with needles. They are its not fine, you can actually see the capillary bore. But i still dint dare to see, even though its my 2nd donation le. Some of my friends blood pressure too low, some went on holiday and thus rejected as a donor, some cant pass the haemoglobin count test, some veins too fine and thus unable to locate them. Haha, all sorts of reasons.. My veins were too fine too, then the trainee nurse dint dare to attempt and called upon the experienced nurse. Whee, heng ar! I cant imagine the trainee nurse poking in and out of my arm searching for the vein. N.. the experienced nurse got it at 1st attempt.. =) Experience  does matter..

Oh ya, i was quite surprised when the nurse said my haemoglobin count was high, as in, good. Reason, because i hate pork. If i can avoid eating pork, i avoid and pork is supposed to be rich in iron isnt it? Or maybe at least the liver? Which i hate so much.. Maybe because i keep eating fish in place of pork.. Hmm.. fish rox

I felt happy after donating blood. Feel kind of light. As in, not physically light but emotionally light - glad. Felt that i have done a good deed, indeed it is. =)

She seems weird, did i do something wrong. I hope i dint i dun tink so. =(

 

Wah.. out of touch with so many things.. I dint come online for like, erm, so so many days... No longer felt the urge to online.. Its kind of now then i realised i have been out of touch with so many things, my friends (not meaning those in my class of course), my juniors, entertainment, music and everything else. Guess its just the period of time when studying really comes in..
 
Every week is such a busy week, once i reached home, i ll have to chiong my tutorials, and to prepare for every revision tests and practical. Alright, its just self-discipline to prepare for those tests and pracs, but what the point of doing them without preparing them in the first place? Sitting in the lecture theatre copying? Or maybe not.. dreaming bah. So its kind of i have condition myself to that kind of life le. Quite a sad life, but .. no choice?
 
Have been out of touch with my friends, i dint come online and i dint sms them, dont know how they been getting thesedays.. Haha, i lost interest in Ella Enchanted too, i actually dint want to go watch it when i was like jumping for it a month ago? Shrugz. Dont know what happened. And in the end did yuxin they all catch the movie? I also dont know.. Shrugz.
 
Ooo, just heard it from my dad that my sms for the last month exceeded 360 again.. Haha, this month wont le. I am sure.
 
Now i am having second thoughts for performing for the ndp, not that i dont want to perform but i dont want to go for the pracs when i have every countable test the day after each day. Okie, by then you should know how stressed by work i was for the past week or 2. Wanna become hermit yuenling le.
 

Its such a chore to blog today. My arms hurt even when typing, brushing my teeth, carrying my bag, tying my hair... Okie, in short, it hurts all the time. Blame it on the TJ PE department. In addition, i having my headaches again.. Haiz. AGAIN!

Still feeling lethargic about everything around me. Nothing seems to make me real happy, real sad or real excited. Haha, just "lidat lor". I have nothing to say about the handover or should i say i was still feeling very tired after chiong-ing through 1 hr 40 mins ( maybe even more) of Biology structured questions? haha, felt so cheated by the Bio department when i saw the paper.. -_-

This week seems to pass very slowly, dont know why also, though i am still dutifully doing my tutorials every night.. i still feel time passes very slowly.. It seems that i am passing each day without any meaning, just "lidat lor".. This cant go on forever, girl. I am just feeling too heck-care about alot of things.. Too many things at the back of my mind, which i m too afraid to dig them all out.. Maybe tts the cause of my headache? Crapz.

Everyday seems like a show. A show for myself. Hide every ugly and dislikes at the back of my mind, spending each day like its so PEACEFUL..

:: question marks ::

What a freaky 46 for my gp. Haiz.. I am no longer secured. Feels so haiz everytime i have to write an essay..

A Day of Arghz!

Arghz. Just got the information from joyce that the A for Physics is 72.. I missed by 2 marks, what the ... Ke xi.. So now, i will only have 1 A from Biology. Haha, to be happy or not to be happy. To many, maybe having an A is already good enough, but.. but.. how should i say, i am not happy. Not that sad, its just disappointment. As compared to my year 1 JCT, Promos, MCT, its a big drop. I shall buck up. I have always believed that apart from all the hard work, exam luck is neccessary. Its so unfair to assess the student's ability through a single paper. What if he just cant understand the particular phrasing of that question but he actually know all the concepts well? What if he just used pencil to draw instead of pen? (ok, i am still thinking about my organic chem question, cos tt mark means a grade to me -_-) What if that day he is just isnt himself? What if he is just that careless? Ok, a whole lot of "what if"s, and then the blame lies on the student again. He shldnt have mental block at that critical time, he shldnt use a pencil, he shld have been more careful.. A whole lot of "should have"s...

Arghz.The seniors cancelled the jts again. Pissed? Not pissed, just sian 1/2. Realised i feel very lethargic lately, dont even have the energy to feel very sad or angry or have strong feelings about anything. Oh please, can we just get it over and done with, i already see no point in having the jts 1 year behind schedule. It just feels weird dont you think so.. Frankly, i dont think many of the 03/04 exco have much to say to their senior batch. To think its already a year ago le. Maybe not all but.. haiz. Just ke(4) tao(4) hua(4). Maybe its just critical of me to think that maybe the poor attendance is just they dont feel like coming and not because of tight schedules. K, i mean some of them. Cannot yi zhu gan da fan zhen chuan ren... But, its been so many times, why are the year 2s free-er than them? I cant help but doubt.

Arghz. Shopping alone doesnt feel good. Cancelled the jts and lijuan, joyce and me got stranded in chinatown? Okie, maybe not lijuan cos she have her own " entertainment", maybe not joyce cos she is rushing down to PA. !!Amendment: In the end, i got stranded in Bugis. Alone. Sian. And yinjie ate her lunch le so cant accompany me to the Indian restaurant. Sighx. Rebecca seems to be sleeping when i called her.. So i walked alone around Bugis.. Okie, the blames lies on JTS again, i could have happily gone to the Indian restaurant with yinjie and then shun bian buy the handover presents..

Arghz. Spent quite a great deal on the presents for my juniors and Abelyn. I couldnt even bear to buy those stuffs for myself. I dont pamper myself easily, oopz, except by eating. Ouch for my mommy cos she sponsored the money and i think i shall volunteer to give her some of the money back.. I wonder how much is left in my bank account now coz it feels like i withdrew money from the ATM quite a few times since the last update. Scared.

I feel like buying the FIR cd i wanna listen to Stella cd and Cyndi.. Plus JJ, plus Zhang Shan Wei.. Whole lot of them lor. I would go bankrupt if i buy them all, so i shall borrow from my friends and burn them.. Haha, those who have them, get them ready.. Heehez..But i will definitely support my Jay Chou.. Heard it from joyce that its going to be released on 3rd Aug. I remember theres something on on 2nd Aug.. A physics prac test? I dont remember. See my calendar now, anyone can freak out because of the pracs and tests and tests and tests and pracs and pracs. Did i say prac and tests?!

:: Complaining isnt that good. Though it helps to relieve stress. Still blessed that i can still be around to complain::

Amazing! I finished by chem revision prac within the time allocated and i actually have time to finish up washing my own apparatus and even managed to help people clear also? Haha.. lijuan and I couldnt believe ourselves =) But well, it was a very easy practical, compared to the jct chem prac!?! Screwed it all up and only got 9/40? Haha so it pulled my overall chem marks by 5% Wow right? Thats a whole grade. But thinking back, the jct chem prac really isnt difficult, its just bound by time constraints and i dint have the time to do qn 2 which was a give away question. People all got19/20 for question 2 but me? Haha, a pathetic 3/20. Hmm, wasnt very sad about it though, sort of predicted that.

My results? Drop lor, by a few marks? Is that considered a drop? Dont know, maybe silly mistakes on my part but not much careless mistakes and all i can say is that chemistry has got the most stringent marking of all. I shall never use pencil in drawing stuffs in chemistry again! They actually dint credit me for my correct diagrams because they were drawn with pencil. Haiz, what can i say? Physics? i supposed has the most lenient marking scheme. But my chemistry improved.. because its the easiest subject to improve on considering it was the lowest for my mct? Alright, anything. Biology is the most amazing subject because it is the only subject that has positive gradient throughout my 1.5 yrs in TJ.. Oopz. just realised my maths has constant negative gradient. Haha dy/dx always smaller than zero! Choy! Can there be minimum turing point!?! Bish me.

Haha, now and then i still recieve his sms, which is kind of pleasant. Dont know, it doesnt really brighten up my whole day but at least i know he hasnt completely disappeared. If so, it will be quite sad.

Ok, i am online now but i should be doing my stuffs because there are quite a fair bit to complete tonight. Ms Wong wants to go through Q particles tomorrow and i haven finish that tutorial. Ok, i know theres no hope of finishing the whole tutorial by tonight but at least i wish to complete till a safe level? I hate to go to tutorials without completing my tutorials because i cant do them during lessons? My brain just go blocked during lessons. And theres a biology revision practical tomorrow and mrs ng expect us to go there prepared ie. read up on previous root plants histology prac and be familiar with that. 3rd, i have phy s paper tomorrow which means i have to do the assignments tonight and it isnt going to be easy. (duh, of course) Look at the time, it is exactly midnight on my wall clock. How is it possible to complete what i need to do? Blame me for sleeping for a whole 3 hrs in the afternoon...

Still, i felt blessed.

:: xin hen xiao, shi jie bian de hen xiao, lian zui mei li de shen lin ye kan bu jian. ::

:: xin hen luan, lu hen duo, wo men dou shi zhe yang zou shi de ::

When the handphone beeps for an sms, i no longer thought it might be you. When i realised its you, i no longer feel the surge of adrenaline. On second thoughts, maybe a little. Just maybe curious and wonder what do you actually have to say to me. This did surprised me.

"hey have you ever tot that i like you or something :X"
Of course i said " Huh!? See my response? Of course not" Haha, i was amused. Not excited though.

Hey, each day i wonder who actually does frequent my blog. Why does the webcounter jump so fast? Maybe it has got its "que dian", ie, this jumps per visit not per visitor. It makes a big difference but it jumps by tens and twenties, who actually does visit my refreshes my blog so often. Puzzled. Hmm?

I ate Sakae Sushi today. $15.90. Ouch, painful. What great indulgdence after exams. How pampered. I felt guilty i spent so much of my mum's money for these few days. Maybe i should learn to be self sufficient. How? Work? Nono, i dont have time when school starts (tmr!?!).. Okie, i shall spend less money from today onwards.

Hmm, i spent $36 on clothes, $269 on a micro hi-fi, $3 dollars on a bag(the other 30 from my birthday gift voucher), $21.50 on a spindle of CD-R, $7.50 on spiderman movie tickets. Ouch ouch, and it has only been for like 3 days after exams? What a spendthrift i feel guilty.

:: Learn to treasure. Be contented ::

Whats meant to be is meant to be.

Sometimes we just cant really control our fate. Its just not the way we want it to be, but it seems pre-planned. But yet, we cant say life is devoid of choices. For many of us, we are blessed with choices in our life? Is it a correct word to use: Blessed? Sometimes, a choice can be a chore.

I have choices in my life. I consider myself being blessed. But at times, there are things that even i want to choose, and there are choices, i am just not give the chance to choose. It just happens and thats it. No more debating about it, no more second chance to it. I may look back, recall the memories, may they be painful or sweet, but they are still just memories. They can fill up my whole life in bits and pieces, but they will never fulfil whats ahead. Whats ahead seem so empty right in front of me till i am afraid. I need a clinging hand. I know there are friends who will be willing to be that clinging hand, i am glad in this context, but its still too scary to abandon the sense of happiness i once experienced and continue in search of the next. Sometimes, its just too overwhelming or tired to just look back on memories or even hold on to them, maybe the little bit of strength left should be use to forget them? But its just so unwilling of me.

I do cherish my life. Much. May i find as much faults in my through my growing years, i still cherish myself for there are still many things that i have not yet done, not yet experience. The feeling of farewell is just too scary at the thought of it. Sometimes this thought just shudders me. What if i am going to leave the world one day, having even not fulfiling my dreams and i have abandon my loved ones and friends? I haven even found my goal in life yet. I know its such a sad case, living day by day without a very specific goal of what i want to do. Not that i have a heck-care attitude in things i do but i haven even organised myself for even my university life? Its still a big question mark. Yep, so i am afraid to leave my life.

Human life is so vulnerable so its precious. So are human emotions. There are bound to be times even a strong person will fall and not have the strength to stand. I feel so lethargic. Its about unconditional love but when you give all out but its just human nature to demand the similiar, maybe not equivalent, amount back. When this doesnt happen, i just feel so lethargic.

Our feelings towards everyone is precious, even not in the case of BGR, we need time to manage our relationships with everyone. Thats why i am glad i have my great bunch of friends. They constitute a great part of my life, second to my family. I really need my friends to fill up the emptiness in my heart now because i just feel so empty. How useless. But i said, i am lethargic now.

:: Hugz. I need more than just that. I know i m greedy. Coz i m naughty. Very ::

The feeling is so sudden. The feeling of emptiness and fear. The feeling of being abandoned and lost. The feeling of sadness and yearning. The feeling of disappointment and farewell.

I dont want you to disappear in my life but yet i have allowed myself to. The background song from Spirited Away, is named Farewell if i am not wrong. Really, farewell. Its this emptiness deep from my heart again. Cry, no i ll try hard not to. The world wont stop spinning just because of one person But do you know that sadness just overwhelms?

I failed.

:: Failing- still failed- ::

Okie, i am re-typing this entry for the 2nd time for the 1st time i typed, it got lost through server error. Though i know the feeling when i am typing this for the 2nd time would be different from the 1st, i do hope i dont forget what i wrote just now. :p

Yeah, what a great day spent at Esther's housewarming lunch cum sleepover! All thanks to the great host esther and Auntie Ogawa! Really felt that we have troubled her because i believed she spent quite alot of time preparing our meals, cleaning up the house, changing the cushion covers, and after we left, she still need to wash the blankets, bedsheets, considering that we each have a blanket and pillow! How great hospitality.

Okie, i shall begin on how a great cook Auntie is. What she served during lunch was so different from a normal housewarming party. There were quiche (those potato sausage cheese mixed together stuffs), salad, spaghetti, sushi, fruits ... ROCKMELON!I have always believed that rockmelon taste nicer than honeydew when the latter already is so nice! No wonder it ROCKS,hey melon. And the sushi was supernice also, considering auntie is the wife of a japanese, of course would have the standard.. =)

So, we spent the afternoon watching TV (oh gosh,i can never understand how they can stay glued to the TV with Cartoon Network. It so lame, boring n duhz, sorry cartoon lovers), then we played UNO cards and UNO Madness. Though they are just normal games, people like Vi, Jessica and Huizhen will never fail to spice up the game. We also celebrated Sinman's and Zub's belated birthday. Auntie baked 2 chilled cheese cake, which were also tasty. Very pretty also. Got the visual appeal =) It was so nice that Zhirong went asking for the recipe, haha typical cooking man.. :p

Oh ya, then we watch Jue Shi Hao B, even though Vi couldnt understand it. We were funny though, we purposely switched it to Cantonese mode even though we couldnt understand it but for the sake that we thought Cantonese sounded much nicer than Mandarin. Afterall, the original voice should be nicer.

When the guys and those not staying over were about to leave, it was already late evening and we walked BJ.(in case you are wondering, he is esther's doggie, Bundle of Joy aka BJ)Auntie performed some tricks with BJ too.. He is so clever! Okie, then i walked him for a period of time, or did he walked me!?! Haha, but it was fun because i have never been that close to a dog before. I felt glad, truely.

Did i mention auntie knows how to make takopachi? I never knew those can be home-made. then i realised the template can be purchased at Takashimaya and i have decided that after A's i shall go and try making them, treat them to yuxin since thats the favourite food! yeah=)

When we returned home, we spent the rest of the evening in esther's room playing Scrabble (wow, intellectual game!!) until auntie called for dinner. Dinner was again another special array of dishes. There were Soba (cold noodles), prawn spaghetti, octopus pickles salad.. In the end, we were so full and bloated that we had to play Zhong Ji Ma to finish the salad and poor Jessica ended up responsible for the dishes because she was so lucky to guess the correct number during the last game! Heehee..

We (Huizhen, Jessica, Yinjie, Yaya and me) then spend the whole night in esther's bedroom gossiping, talking about sensitive issues, crapping, laughing, fortune-telling. Typical girls night but it was fun. We fell asleep at around 4 and woke at around 7. Haha,how light sleepers we are, well trained by JCT.^_^We helped cleared the bed, did i mentioned we each have a pillow and blanket? How pampered! We wrote a thank you card to auntie and then made our way home from Admiralty. How sweet!

Okie, this may seem such a dry entry but it such a happy day. I want to remember happy events. When months have passed, i want to look back at this entry and remember how happy i was on 2nd july.=)

This trip to esther's house made me fantasize alot after seeing auntie ogawa because she is such a typical homemaker.Actually, i dont mind being a homemaker taking great care of my dears. I wouldnt want to abandon my children during young age just to pursue my career. Afterall, what is so bad or narrow about being a perfect homemaker and not be a career woman? I ll chose the former. Its just the power for love from family. If financial situation does allow, how wonderful it would be to read up cookbooks and spring a surprise on the dining table occasionally? How splendid it would be to buy stuffs whenever welike, not for myself, but for the house, for my dears. Trust me, i ll spend a great deal of my husband's money on buying bedsheets every month. I am already doing that now to my parent's money, except that its not every month. I just feel that bedsheets are artpieces, so delicate, so special and it reflects alot about the room.=) How nice it would be to see a clean and cosy house designed by myself everyday. How ideal.. Okie enough of my dreams.. But i do love experimenting with food, cooking.. Haha.. It just add spice to my life. Weird food that i have never eaten before but those that i just come across in magazines.. Hhaa.I do cut them out and keep them.. =) Haha.. Oh.. dreamer..Afterall, whats meant to be is meant to be..

:: Bundle Of Joy, I anticipate my own BOJ::

I have so many things to say today. Mind in a total confusion state, guess its because of the insufficient sleep for the past 5 days. I am glad i mangaged to pull through the 5 days, especially the day before the Biology paper because i dint sleep for the whole night at all. The timetable was so bad that i had a double paper on Tuesday ending at 5+ and i have to prepare for a Bio paper next morning at 8 am. Thats how i end up mugging through the night. I felt ultimately sad and lonely. Not because i think i cant finish studying (its just too common le), not because i was tired but because of the thoughts that everyone is enjoying their sleep but i m mugging alone in the room and nobody to pour my woes into. In the darkness of the night, all i have is the companionship of my limited range of cds and yes933. Lonely night, how apt. Oh well, everything is over le. Announcement: I pulled through!

Hmm, about my performance this jct? Blur blur and blur. When my mum asked me about the paper, whether i know how to ans the question, all i gave for an answer was: I dont know, wait for the results.

While i am so indifferent towards the paper, i see my juniors complaining about jct in their blogs. All i want to say to them is that always give yourself a chance, a leeway. Afterall, its the first major exam in you jc life and you never know wad to expect and what you have to deal with. So, dont worry about saying what question u know how to or what u skipped. Its over le, so always prepared yourself wiht the mindset that jc is different from o'levels. JC syllabus cannot be glanced or scraped through. You have to understand it, grapse it, remember and most importantly apply. Okie, enough of my "theories", good luck everybody on tuesday.

Oh ya i got this sudden urge to go cut my fringe!

" Love is so complicated that you cannot place it in your heart" = you have to show you love
This is frm Doc Ock of Spiderman 2. Oh gosh, it was such a nice show. Initially, i thought it would be some lame action movie with a lame guy swing here and there with his spindle fibres. Oopz, did i say spindle fibres? Haha, its quite a biological term you see, it is something that appears in the cell undergoing cell division. Ooopz, post-exam syndrome. Okie, back to Spiderman 2. So, it turned out to be a movie incorporating romance, action, thrill, humour. Great integration of those elements. Touching at the appropriate times, the secretion of adrenaline whenever the badguy appear... Wow! Thumbs up! This goes to show that a movie can succeed without great stars starring in it, the same goes for Bend It Like Beckham.

Enchanted Ella, the much anticipated movie of the month only opens officially on 29 july!Oh, thats a month away! Good, i can save money. Kudoz!

Tomorrow i am going over to Esther's house for housewarming lunch followed by a sleepover. Its my first sleepover at friend's house especially there are no adults! Yeah. Excited. Xin fen. Hope it will be fun but i do hope i have the energy to sustain whole day because i ll be catching semifinals 2 later on. Czech Republic and Greece. Who will win? I m neutral because i dont know that very well. Not that i know the other teams well,but i really know nuts about these 2 teams competing tonight. Good luck to them.=)Hope it will be an interesting match

:: Life is vulnerable, so its precious::

Not many people online today, guess they are mugging bah? Not like me, i have slacked for the whole day and i am. Dont know. I just feel very lost about my june common test. I dont seem to be familiar with the things i have studied and i dont feel secure with my maths because i dint practise.

Thank you joyce and yinjie for listening to me when i freaked out just now. A freak-out is common before every major exam but this time round is getting too early. 2 days before the actual day and i am panicking. Haiz, goes to show how unprepared i am. I shall go mug again.

Can a miracle happen before me?

I really dont know what to blog about today. I just had a normal mugging day and my usual "know something new about clement everday". Maybe i should record down what are the new discoveries each day and one day i shall give that record for him to see. Oh ya say so much and i havent even point out what's my discovery today! He is a good host, joyce and me felt so "guest-ly" during his home visit and he treated us to Clement-brand lemonade and chocz! Thank you clement even though i know u dont read this.. I think i cant live without my family and friends! Love? Shrugz..

Was explaining to beeshin my theory about blogs. Now that i have come one big round from a private blog to a sort-of public blog, i have come to realise the idea of a blog is rather ironical. First a blog is an online diary and arent diaries supposed to be private and personal? So unless u do set a password to your blog, its rather public and open and maybe it does not serve its purpose as a diary le. Now, i feel rather weird and superficial with my entries. Not to say i dont enjoy people looking at what i have been through each day but it just makes blogging more dry and just about the activites that took place each day. Shrugz. Y the sudden idea?

:: i wun put myself in tt kind of misery. I have brains k? ::

You are Wintergreen.
You are cool and collected. You are very
comfortable with yourself and what you do.
Even if you have a lot of responsiblities, you
always manage to be in control. You are
sometimes laid-back and you are always the
voice of reason. However, others may see you
as lazy or detached sometimes, unable to act
responsibly.
Most Compatible With: Lime


Which Tic-Tac Flavor Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sunset. Taken dont know where.. But its nice 

Shangri La was not very exciting and not very boring. Huh? What am i talking about? But i enjoyed it though. I mean it wasnt really the activities that kept the fun going on but rather it was the interaction within our exco and with the seniors(esp chongtang) as well.

Oh ya i was complaining i dint have a bag to bring along to sentosa because none of them can contain the amount of things i want to bring there! In the end, i ended up using the same bag that i took to camp 04. The big black bag! It was a free gift from Wacoal (oopz is that how u spell it)! I guessed nobody knew, now u all know~ Hehe. Afterall, the logo on the zip was so inconspicuous.

When we reached there, eunice yujun and rosie met us at the visitors centre and we paid $3 for the admission fee. I guess the attractions on the island arent even to keep the maintenance of the island going and so the admission fee is neccessary. And if u do notice, most singaporeans go sentosa just for the beach! And the beach is free! Haha.

We went directly to our rooms? room? in ShangriLa then yujun said we only have 1 room so i kind of like puzzled. Coz the day before, i smsed Changsheng and asked him about our accomodation and i remembered clearly that he said there were 2 rooms! plus he added that they were quite big~-_-?? Yeah, i am sure i have a lot of question marks floating above my head. I was puzzled~blur~. Then, so it turned out that Junji does have 2 rooms-1 exe suite and 1 normal room, and yujun dint knew about it at first. But we have to wait for the occupants for the exe suite to vacate before we can move in so we all gathered in the smaller room first and there were people of different batches. I was still feeling puzzled, maybe because i dont know the majority of them there and i felt weird. haha, i m sure alot of u feel the same way though..

Then off we went to Palawan Beach, they played beach volley and joyce yuxin jas beeshin and i went straight in the waters. Haha played alittle den weileong and clement came to join us. I felt weird afterall our attire arent quite correct, some translucent and our shirts keep "floating" up. Something made us feel out of place- our attire. Because we arent in any skimpy tops haha odd 5 out. But i dont care, its just a psychological barrier whether or not i dare to wear those bikinis.. Haha, maybe not those stringy types? But rather those tt resembles sports bra? Haha!

Oh then after that we went back hotel room to bathe before joining them for the bbq. At the bbq, there wasnt much food and poor clement, was bbq-ing? Oh everyday i learn something new about him. One day i shall know a new clement right in front of me. To my surprise the chicken wings actually turned out nice but it wasnt enough for such a glutton like me! So off i went to 7-11 and grabbed a pizza bar. (wasnt very nice thou)Haha yah then we crapped gossiped laughed and talked all the way we realised its time to go back to our hotel because it is a whole 1/2 hour journey. And i bought sandwich and sweets! Piggy~

Then, i tried to do some maths in the night, talked sometimes, listened sometimes, stoned sometimes.. And i slept for 1 hr... frm 6am to 7am! Haha! And yujun said she see me always putting food in my mouth through out the whole night! Haha i think so too..

Theres something that left me quite an impression throughout the whole stay. Chongtang seems a very different guy now. Its just the gut feeling and sixth sense of girl. NS has done him bad, both physically, economically and mentally. Dont know but i actually feel very bad for him because hes a totally changed guy (maybe its for the better) but its very tough on him. Well, not on him only but hes the only one so far who told me all those about NS. They drink chlorinated water and the chlorination is actually to that extent that the flower actually bleached after being watered by the NS water for few days! Gosh, how had his body suffered, tekan-ed by the water? N his voice, spoiled. But i think it sounds nicer!? Haha, but he cant sing nicely with this new voice le..=( And then emotionally? Once he think of him staying there for the next 2 years of his life is already tt saddening. Economically? Afterall, the hp that held so much memories of his life was stolen in tekong.. Hmm.. take care ct!

Okie, today went ah ma house for dumplings and i ate a lot! Combining dinner and lunch, i ate 5 dumplings!!!!! - 2 small 3 big ones.. Piggy~ But to make up i ate alot of fruits also, watermelon, lemon, lychee, grapes.=)

:: a wait of 7 daes doesnt matter if i lengthen or shorten it by 1 dae. Its insignificant ::

Shangri La @ Sentosa! 

I wouldnt be able to blog tonight because i ll be spending the night over at Shangri La hotel in sentosa. Its my first time staying over in sentosa, wonder how it will feel like mugging the way through the night? But i figured, i dont think i will stat awake all night to study, because it will be at the expense the other day, in other words, means i wont have the energy to study on Sunday because i mugged whole saturday night. ^_^ Do i sound enthusiastic about mugging?

Staying overnight in sentosa actually got my mum quite uptight. It boils down to her staying overnight in sentosa some 20 years ago when i m still dont know where? She says she stayed in some eerie chalets or houses in sentosa that used to be occupied by the British soldiers during the Jap Occupation. The "chalets" were supposed to be places for soldiers to recuperate. And of course, they do die sometimes. N i think she had some eerie encounter that she refused to tell me.

So she was kinda worried if i was staying there and i reassured her no! haha. Then i smsed changsheng about the accomodation and he said they booked 2 rooms in Shangri La! Wonderful!

Ok, in less than 2 hours i ll be meeting the exco for fish and chips. Rather guilty about not having lunch at home coz my dad wanted me to eat the mee goreng that hes going to cook. Sigh. Or maybei ll juz observe them eat fish and chips? Plus i m very full now~

Okie. shangri la here i come.

hope the small words can be seen.. i m just testing out.. no matter what. i still think this is meaningful.. 

Argh! It really is too small! Okie, I shall go study now. Enough fiddling around

Yeah!

Yeah!I did something to my blog today! Thanks rebecca for helping me with the archives and photo-posting stuffs! I wouldnt have the slightest idea how to do them without her help. I am a html dummy!

Okie, woke up at 9.18am today and off i went to SSCC to meet Rebecca to study. I dint feel as guilty today as i did for the past few days. Although today dint study much, but i finished the heavier chapters. To be exact, i havent finish SEXUAL REPRODUCTION yet but when i complete them tonight, its a great relief. Coz it is really a whole lot.

Then we went Mac for lunch today! Cuz there was nothing to eat. Eh, no, not nothing to eat, but nothing is within my budget.Yah, then continued mugging. And rebecca commented that i seemed to be mugging happily. Oh well, she is sort of correct because i dont get frustrated easily when studying and i looked peaceful without much fidgeting around? Haha, well, to do things well is to do things happily.

Then, we took neoprints, to satisfy rebecca's craving. What an expensive thing to get hooked on. Hmm i m poor! Oh well i got sort of bluffed by the machine again coz we dint have the time to decide on the size of the prints and it came out small. How wasted, i wanted it come out as 8 big prints. But, yep it was nice =)

Then went subway, had turkey breast ham and then walked home! Can you believe it? Oh ya, rebecca, i recalled, its not the first time i m walking home from the interchange. It was 2nd time, the first time was with jianxin when doing pw. Haha, in case xiuyi does frequent my blog, dont kill me when you see this. :p

Okie i m satisfied with the changes to my blog now. =)i shall continue mugging. I m glad the mood has come =) Finally. But late is better than never.

And i concluded my day using only 4 smses! Yeah! =)21st is coming soon. Will i be using alot of smses again? Hmm..let heaven decide! =) (so many smiley faces in my entry this time, can see how light hearted i am now)

:: wish upon a shooting star. wish come true . happy ending ::

my baby photo! 

hey juz testing

I am not in a very good mood today.

I put on weight that i have lost for the past few months. 1kg! I feel super sian about this and to think i gain this weight like, erm just in a day? Cuz when i weigh myself it wasnt tt weight. OK sigh how superficial do i sound lamenting about how much weight i have gained overnight? Very. But the fact is i am already not thin, so everything kg counts!

Have been studying with yuxin everyday for the past few days. And this girl there has a great metabolic rate, you can practically hear her say she is hungry always. N me? not resisting the temptation of food will munch together with her. Haiz, okie i shall diet, friends, curb my diet too!

Why have my emotional quotient gone so low. I used to have great concentration span, resisting the temptation of sleep, resisting the temptation of the internet and FOOD! oh gosh, now i have become a girl so susceptible to these temptations..

Today went studying in co room, and OM came in, scold us.. Haha.. i feel differently from joyce and yuxin lehz. They sound.. as in their tone, sounded bu shuang, in their blog.. using words like "Hey" and "hello!?!". But somehow i did feel guilty despite i feel that sometimes the OM is getting too overboard in his control over college things. No matter what, we did know we cant use the co room for studying and cannot on aircon de. haiz. Hmm.. maybe i need to clear something. I m feel guilty we r committing a mistake when we knew the mistake beforehand. But, its really puzzling... OM needs to chap so many things? But afterall is his job bah, i shall not marry an OM nxt time, he will be cursed by each and every student in the school.. (Y m i thinking so far in the first place..)

And yep, mugging is still at a slow pace. And i have to give up 2 days of studying for exco outing to sentosa and grandma house. I do sound like a mugger now. I dont care people say i m a mugger. What matters is i m a mugger during exams but yet a player at suitable times, isnt it?

Okie, my mum let me chose, digicam or hifi set? I dont know also, i feel guilty spending money. -_-

:: i lost the motivation. I dont even recall where my motivation used to come from::

A Day Without Much Missing =)

Wow~ i realised... that giftland actually still exist in singapore! haha.. arent i glad, i want to go there after JCT and not forgetting the fish n chips at arcade that i promised to bring joyce to.

There are just way too much stuffs that i want to do after jct. All thanks to dreaming too much in the day while studying. Its no wonder i call my blog "daydreamz". I figured sometimes i really i daydream too much and think too much.
1) "Enchanted Ella" the movie
2) Fish and chips at the arcade
3) Go jurong point i want to go giftland
4) Buy presents
5) Handover ceremony

A whole lot of enjoyable things to do after JCT but they will usually go unaccomplished. I believe there are still things that i said i want to do but now i just cant remember. Hmmm..

1 more chapter to end of electricity then i shall start diligently on my biology. hope that i can do this today? Yeah, jiayou yuenling. I know you have been slacking hard. Its been hard on you slacking on one hand yet scolding yourself on the other hand. Stop this misery and really study. Keep focused.

Oh and i realised dumpling's festival is so near! Its on 21st of june. Now, this date does sound familiar. Haha!~ And I promised my mum to go to my grandma house that day..

Tata..

:: Buy a bed ::

i dunno how i m feeling now. juz weird.. i wanna study.. i can concentrate at times.. but sometimes thoughts drift so far awae frm me..

i keep tinking about the 3 gals tt u told me. u sae i shld be honoured cuz i m by the far the only one who gets to know all 3? i dunno wad do i have tt takes u so easily to tell me all 3. tell u wad. i thought i cld heck care about the three of them coz they r juz ure crushes. seriously i really felt those tings u were toking to me about them r crap. tts wad u told me b4 too.. but i definitely believe tt ur previous 2 experiences are definitely true n u have been hurt.

but i never knew this until i daydreamt todae.. how did u get to know the 1st gal. some nite. i was present too..haiz.. all the clues tt u gave us previously all fit so perfectly into her. so u observe her to tt extent boy. should i call u bian tai? all the cardcaptor sakura and all those stuffs about watching stars at nite. i shld have known it long ago. its not the first dae i ve known u..

but now ive fallen. i shld tink positively.. afterall crushes are still crushes! but still? hey i started frm a crush too.. but i m still glad u told me.. thou i noe i m still falling deeply in. ger.. buck up.

okie. now u r in msia.. i really hope i can concentrate studying.. i m so inaccurate cuz i m missing u. like heaven shld i sae.. each sms beeps.. all my hopes surfaces.. all my hopes dashes.. how possibly can it be tt u ll msg me in msia. not when i m juz someone whom u slightly craps more with. not when i m juz someone hu u will pour ur woes into. we r juz somewhat pple call zhi ji.. tts wad u told me.. someone u tell alot of tings to.. friends? =) okie i shall not be greedy.

oh ya.. todae went tamp north cc to study todae.. quite unproductive sia.. according to my timetable i shld be ermz.. finsihing my phy le. but i m not.. hmmph! haha i had a sudden craving for fish n chips todae n so it became my lunch.. haha spending so much money.. on food!?! hmm yet unhealthy yet expensive.. induldging myself in food? cuz i m stressed? all i noe is tt i ve been slacking since the holidays begin..

n i dled the hello kitty farm game le.. seems like its more difficult playing using my phone duno y also.. seems like playing it on ur phone is more fun.. hmm..

n.. theoretical example n hypothetical example is different i wanna tell u. theoretical is already proven to be true in terms of theory but not neccessary true in experiment.. but hypothetical is still untrue in terms of everything.. so when u sae u giving me a theoretical example tt u like me.. i wana tell u tt u ve used the wrong word. but i juz cant bear to dash my dreams..

oh gosh y did i blog so long todae.. told u le.. study dun study in the dae tink too much.. accumulate at night to blog.. ahah.

:: i ll be inaccurate. i m missing u like heaven and earth. wad if i sae i bother now, wads done is done. i already told u i dun bother::

can u play with the colours of the wind...

this song has been ringing in my head since i went home frm kbox.. hey it was fun considering it was my first attempt singing ktv. ahah!..

i ve jus realised maybe all i ve been doing is juz crap.. n i cant get myself on to mug.. ! argh i m so frustrated with myself.. i wanna be a mugger.. yuenling mug.. quick!

i m tired.. at its only 12 noon!.. haha landuo to have long blogs lehz.. no inspirations also..

juz beginning to wonder..when u actually cared to sae sorry to a person.. is he or she beginning to gain a teeny weeny bit of place in ur heart.. or is "sorry" juz a word too often used till its meaning has been diluted.. or even become devoid of its meaning? if its the latter case.. how sad.

he's going msia tmr.. for 7 daes.. oh gosh. i THINK i shall be able to concentrate for the nxt 7 daes? i hope..


:: sorry. u r breaking ur record. 5 sorries in a dae ::

hmm.. funny feeling.. 2 windows on msn.. both toking about exco thingy. but one is on exco 03/04 one is 04/05. hmm..

dunno lehz..had this very mixed feeling after breaking camp todae.. dunno yar. okie first tok about starting of camp.. hmm i had this v blur mindset when i went for the camp i really din noe wad to do n it was during tt v dae tt i noe wad game im incharge of n everything. felt bad cuz i din went for the meeting n thus din noe wads happening..

yar so i was the station master for capstan grape.. hmm haha .. first grp hu came was quite "cold".. as in no really alot of voice when playing the match... only i noe carol was superb in catching the grapes using the cup.. like statue of liberty haha..but later on the game "warmed" with other groups.. haha mingwei had me laughing like mad becoz of his hokkien haha.. so funny..

oh yah. RITARDS.. love ya.

hmm den it was a quite crazy decision for us to stay awkae the first nite when we have urban hike the nxt dae!?! i only slept for 1 hr!!! haha but apparently.. wasnt v tired during the urban hike.. cuz xuguang was v entertaining.. n cannot deny he has inborne leadership qualities.. headcounting n bonding.. self-numbering.. n encouraging motivating the grp.. singing along the wae was superb.. =) he has the charisma too..
oh ya. xu guang fanclub officially founded on 8 june 2004

n the urban hike was quite alrite unitl the end lar. cuz we ended up running chionging.. v tiring ya noe.. yr 1s are yr1s .. younger mar. more engery..haha

hustings was peacefuly.. v not hiong not harsh not strict.. in fact got laughter lo. n crazy lar.. i fell asleep a little while during wenjie's turn sorry!. but the focal point was out too. i cant concentrate.. haha wanna see the comment sheet? it consisted of completed sentences initially n towards to the end.. incomprehendable phrases tt popped out of nowhere

new exco 04/05 .. i had great impression.. high expectatons of them.. strong com. yar they v united the minute they were announced.. yar. was so impressed n touch..hmm but i din cry ar. infact i teared at different time..

i was v gan dong for clement when rachel praised clement in frnt of the whole co. really lo. first time see him so serious about planning something.. first place so early reach sch.. first time stay so late till the nite.. n yar. marvellous clement. thou u cant see this ... was so proud of clement so gan dong abt the june camp n everything.. n thankful of clemetn also. so my eyes went red. haha yar.. so quiet quiet look at floor..

had another mass phototaking session.. like superstars..!

:: stepping stone to ultimate living is SHARED happiness ::

i wanna remember todae. i wun want to forget wad happen.. =)

heehee.. ydae i said i wanna go somewhere tt i nvr go b4 one so he can bring me there.. in the end he suggested a whole list of shopping malls.. all either too far or too small.. in the end we ended up in airport. he promised to bring me go some part of airport ive nvr been too..

hmm..was actually meeting at tamp control at 12 but in the end last min he msged me to take bus 27 directly.. haha n i was late.. i call him to board the 27 tt i m on directly.. ya.. so i was sitting beside him.. haah i realised something.. both of us din dare to tok into each other eyes at first.. but towards the end of the ride.. we crapped n crapped so not v mo shen le.. =).. wad did we crap? haha bout his slippers.. my future boyfren..

den we alighted at T1.. walked all the way to T2. cuz i dun wanna take the skytrain.. not exciting mah. haah so we walked.. he brought me to some passageway.. got offices one.. looked like an aisle of the hospital.. haah nobody one.. v quiet.. quite eerie if u r alone thou.. den he starting saying dunno wad if got monster jump behind den dunno wad.. hhaa crap!.. n he counted the no. of toilets along the "tunnel" to T2.. got 7!> haha. *lame* i also forgot wad we crap about le.. juz alot..

den hmm walk.. halfwae.. den realised the construction blocked the passagewae!.. HAAH we were stranded.. so we ended up walking up n down those deserted stair case to reach a car park.. haha seriously.. only he noes how to walk.. i juz followed.. nalong the wae had to remind him i m not walking v fast n he has to slow down.. =)..

oh ya. he told me there are 2 major defects in his body . 1) flat foot 2) alternate breathing nostrils.. means he use only1 nostril to breathe eachtime.. does this remind u of zhiqin? hahaz..

okie lar. todae he considered got feng(1) du (4) le.. got hold door for me.. reached early den wad we r supposed to meet.. hmm .. happy..

oh ya. den we reached T2 den go staff canteen.. he eat lo i din eat. i onnly drank the sugar cane he bought ..=) i was playing his hp game attentively..

den go back tm watched harry potter.. we took 27 back again.. den he sae we were sitting back at the same seat.. tt one i really din notice thou.. haahz.. but too bad its not at left side of the bus.. he keep wanting to noe y.. but i wun tell him.. bleah..

we reached early thou.. so we go look for his slipppers lo.. really nothing nice.. haah so in the end nvr buy also.. den ya go cinema. share popcorn.. actually is he eat 7/8 of it i ate only 1/8 of it.. ahah sore throat ma. i cant finish my dirnk also.. haha he v funny.. wanna cop my drink also dun wan let me noe. call me conc in watching the movie den he pour into his cup..pls.. i m juz beside!. hahaz..

n the movie.. haha not v climatic thou. i mean dun really hav climaz like tt.. haha.

den aftertt i go buy breadtalk.. den like ttloz. summary. v long one thou..
off i go to dance concert..
congrats tj modern dance club for their wonderful show!

:: xin fen. ji dong. excited ::

am going out to watch harry potter later.. they sae its nice.. m looking forward to it. but wad if later i dun hav anything to tok to him.. awkward it ll be...n hor..i still cant persuade him to get rid of his slippers.. haha.. n i ll have to wear lan lan to pei he him.. hahaz...

meetin him at 12.. n its 11.05.. still dun wanna go prepare still dun wann go bathe.. wads wrong.. haha i v landuo.. suddenly feel v lost.. really tinking wad to do when i see him.. we r going airport.. weird huh.. go le eat le. den come back tamp watch harry potter.. den off i ll go to dance concert.. haven buy flower yet lehz.. lijuan.. go pluck off some frm your biao jie engagement place.. haha..

okie.i guess i shall be off.. otherwise i tink i ll be rushing later.. haha.. still so full.. how to eat lunch..

::harry potter, anticipation::

~ cheer up rachel.. i ll like to see ya with wonderful expressions on ya face. ur madness. craziness.. ur expressions alwaes giving pple a direct attachment to exclamation marks.. its not u now. maybe u do need a rest. a break.. but we do really hope to see rachel!!! back with us =)

haiz. love is a mystery.. it has hurt pple.. but y do we willingly engage ourselves in them.. cuz it brings joys too.. :: love is like a roller coaster ride ::
a one sided love is the worse type of love anyone can experience.. esp if u r the one liking him/her with no conditions attached.. with indefinite sacrifications.. but wad ya get is juz a fren to fren relationship.. or worse still.. a pure fren conversation.. with his/her heart attached to the other..

wad can the worse thing happened? it has happened to me.. my good frens somemore.. wad did i chose to save myself? time. cruelty. escapism. friendship. another love.

now tt the last soln has come to me.. i ve plunged/gotten into/fallen into another love. again. one-sided love. how sad it might be? how devastating the conclusion might be? it has been a constant fear always..

but pple do fantasize.. thou chances r slim.. but wadeva everything little thing means much to me.. y do i miss him when he juz disappears for 10 mins? cuz i m not his. he is not mine. everything is insecure.. its only when u cant get something tt u learn to treasure it more.. how humanity degrades humans.

okie.. end of the sad part.. haha we tok on phone last nite wor.. happy. yepz. urban hike we tok more wor.. i m getting more n more daring to tok to him le.. i wonder..

:: afterall.. friendship hatred n love revolves round only a circle..when ya like someone to the extent.. it can become a hatred.. when hatred resolves friendship comes in.. for the opp sex.. friendship's ultimate is love::

these few daes of onlining din allowed me to really post a really complete msg.. y? i din noe also.. he isnt online. i was not chatting to him.. perhaps i m juz stoning.. maybe is cuz tjcco rock big time. i m part of tjcco n rock=stone.

Crapping.

i had quite funny feelings stepping down n everyting. suddenly. i feel tt maybe its time for me to really concentrate on my studies. (i haven been since this year) but i will miss my juniors.. definitely..

ydae forgot to thank so many people.. thanks rachel for the flower.. thanks junior for the bopian n flowers n rebecca for the xtra card.. n wangliang for his bread. haha i ate 3.5 buns.. sorry for those hu din eat any... thanks 17/03 for the flowers.. n andrea n eleen for the flower.. hmmz.. not forgetting my mum n sis hu came for the concert..thou they really dunno how to appreciate.. i also wanna let them noe wad i m been working hard into for the past few months.. it paid off thou. except for the part when i dreamt... haah forgot to come in.. twice lor... qinkai's hair distracted me..

n plus plus.. i downloaded sho many photos we took during concert..

okie enough abt concert..

u. u r not my anybody. but u r able to traumatise me so much each nite u din tok to me.. so useless..i mean myself.. on one hand i appear to be so indifferent towards u. i dun even dare to really tok to u.. on the other hand i m so shakened each time u tok to me. or u bochap me. i din wan u to noe i like ya. i dun wan a relationship in which u grew ur love for me after u noe i like ya. i m going to suffer. i m selfish. i noe. i wan u to like me the wae i m. but do u really noe me.

haiz love is like a roller coaster ride. i can be so happy this minute
but unhappy the other minute juz because of something u said...
m i blessed tonite? i m still. becoz i still hope tt i ve a place in ur heart.

bless me. i ll scold myself if i behave too ap on saturdae.. i shall be nice to him.. sekali he dio shock how.. since i m alwaes so aloof towards him.. hmm. contradictory sia..

::to all hus out of love. hus yearning. hus waiting. hus in love. Love Matters..::

wah~ finally the day has come. has ended. happily. we rox!

haha.. v long nvr blog le. but todae is such a significant dae tt i cant dun blog.. heehee..our concert finally came to an end.. if all the hard work. late night practices.. com meeting.. n everything.. CO i love u. Tanbo i love ya. MADNESS we rox!..

really v sweet of the 3 feng zi to buy bouquets for us.. i was quite gan dong ar.. den see the card rebecca gave me.. even more gna dong.. cuz there were so many words.. n meaningful sentences.. she sae nxt yr muz came back perform again.. hmm.. i actually din felt tt wae b4.. now i m changing my mind a litlle.. maybe i ll come back? but not pro enough.. hahaz..

haha todae everybody got put make up wor.. pretty pretty.. n happy birthdae yuxin..

aiyo.. he so bad.. din come back to sch with us..but he got maths olympiad la.. cant blame him also.. i wan him to do well tmr also.. =).. good luck.. i miss ya.. haha n oh gosh! i cant believe i m going to him to movies this sat.. oh gosh! hahaz..n wonder how it will turn out.. hmmz.. hope not too badly thou..happy ger..

i feel blessed today... happy..

:: thank u harry potter ::

haven been really slack with tutorials thesedaes.. occupied with co prac.. even dream also can dream of co. its now the 3rd time tt i have dreamt of me not informing my tanbo pple about prac times n none turned up oh gosh!

dunno. suddenly i realise i m not a person with a lot of confidence.. my confidence gets shaken easily. i need much reassurance frm pple around me.. hmm haha.. jiayou ger.. hong mei. i juz couldnt get over the fact tt i m hun-ing..actually i dunno wad i dunno how to play. its fine when i play to myself thou.. den wad gives me the right to sae jasmine after all..haiz.

okie..is he n me making any progress? i dunno haha.. tts me.. y shld i be so ap n ans him so coldly. n now i m missing him.. haiz.. i m so contradictory..now i juz wish for an sms from himm.. or hope tt he suddenly pops online. i miss him.. oh dear.. fa hua chi..

concert tics sale is so good wor.. 110%.. hmmm shi wu qian li bah?

Achilles: the man who was born to end lives..

he wanted to watch "TROY" v badly. sorry i cant.. ive promised u harry potter thou..

he was v depressed last night. dunno. but kept harping on the fact tt he is useless. well maybe i m the only one hu will actually go n console him tt he is not useless? he surely can sense why m i so different towards him.. hmm.. well... but in the end i succeeded in making him feel a little bit "hopeful".. at least he listened to me.. not to use tt so depressing nick again..
i m glad i succeeded.. nvr wld i tink i actually know how to console someone. or maybe he isnt sad at all.. juz trying to gain some attention frm pple only.. well these tings do happen. not to sae i m critical.. but..ya..

i sounded v hard n harsh to carol during interview ydae. sorry. i din relly mean to sound tt harsh. but the tone juz came out. sorry. i feel guilty now.
i said sorry.. n i really mean it.

---_--__--__--____------____--
the measure of a man: not how much gives u. but how much u r willing to let go for him n how much he is willing to give up for u

Clay Aiken-Measure Of A Man

Oooooo
Ooooooo
If one day you discover him
Broken down
He's lost everything
No cars, no fancy clothes
To make him who he's not
The woman at his side
Is all that he has got

Why do you ask him
Move heaven and earth
To prove his love has worth?

Would he walk on the water?
Would he run through fire?
Would he stand before you
When it's down to the wire?
Would he give his life up
To be all he can?
Is that
Is that
Is that
How you measure a man?

If by chance all he had to give you
Was three words wrapped around your finger
Would that be deep enough
At the end of everyday?
And how will you ever know
If the man is what he says?

Why do you ask him
Move heaven and earth
To prove he hislove has worth?

Would he walk on the water?
Would he run through fire?
Would he stand before you
When it's down to the wire?
Would he give his life up
To be all he can?
Is that
Is that
Is that
How you measure a man?

He never gives up
Let's go of his dreams
His world goes around
For his one true belief
Is that how you know?
Is that what it means?

Hey
Would he walk on the water?
Would he run through fire?
Would he stand before you?

Will he be your anchor
When the dark unfolds?
Will he always love you
The best that he knows?
Would he give his life up
To be all he can?
Is that
Is that
Is that
How you measure a man?

Would he walk on the water?
Would he run through fire?
Would he stand before you
When it's down to the wire?
Would he give his life up
To be all he can?
Is that
Is that
Is that
How you measure oh-woh
Is that
Is that
Is that

How you measure a man?

look at the time now.. 2330.. wad m i doing? blogging.. juz finished my bio test.. starting on my phy ONLY now.. oh gosh. how daring i m.. hmm.. juz read joyce's blog.. she saes shes going to be dead.. cuz she only starting her phy.. n me? i guess she wrote her blog hours b4 mine..

but i guess its already great determination to be able to study for 2 tests consecutively for hours.. headache liao la..

U msged US, asked if we wanna go eat tmr.. i din bring my phone i cant reply u.. he sent another sms .. hurrying for my reply.. is my reply tt impt? i culdnt giv u a definite ans cuz maybe we r eating laksa in the afternoon. n i dun really like the idea of going out for dinner if we r already going out for laksa.. i asked if u wanna come along for laksa.. u said.. wad if pple tongues starts waggering about u n me.. so.. u actually noe tt.. do u take them to heart..?

u said u din wanna join us hours ago. n hours later u msged me for the details.. u said u r coming. i m glad.. but afterall maybe the laksa outing cant come true also..

no matter wad.. u left me with a nice night to study..

oh ya.. yuxin.. nice phone! looks so much like his..=)
lijuan is getting an identical one like his.. =)

:: yes933 2300-- the opp of love isnt hatred, its juz indifference ::

haha. i shall go do rectangular distribution later or shall i go do carbohydrates?? hmm.. haha dunno. i dun like my new pen now. so i dun like doing hw now. lame reason i noe.

todae wasnt a good dae. its of the weather bah i hope i guess i reckon.

tmr isnt going to be a good one either. i can forsee me for the next few daes.how haggard how cham how tired i ll be. hahaz. died.

concert is so near. i feel stress everywhere. nothing is making me happier. except maybe if a cold ice comes smashing at my face. i ll be wide awake. n in fact cooler.

how untrue m i to myself. i dunno. how oblivious to the fast pace of tutorials. i dunno.

: wan dan : : died:

wah~ i so long long nvr blog le. in fact i so long din online le.. ahahz!
usu fri i ll online n crap awhile (well maybe not awhile) den going off to sleep. but the last fri was simply too tiring le.. after co.. i reached home at arnd 10 ++? n off i go to sleep.. somemore the motivation to online wasnt there tt dae after being pissed off by him? petty guy. i m not petty ger. so i m not angry with him now. but still it still left a hole in my heart.. quoting say yong ( of all y him!?! ) frm interview.. when u scold someone u hammered a nail into his heart.. by saying sorry, u pull out the nail.. but it still left one hole in his heart..

how true..

haha n ydae saturdae.. i fell into deep sleep at 9.30.. to be exact i was asleep on bed at 9.30 but asleep on sofa by 9pm. haha.. piggy!

okie.. thesedaes so busy din even wan to go do tutorials! but cannot.. how can i slack at this impt period of time when its the most important..

n oh ya~. i m stressed.. somehow i need to hold a fenzu thesedaes.. but i m not competent enuff.. rachel saes she ll help me... but.. hmm. tink u all noe wad i mean?
n i cant find the time.. wif everydae ending at 5.30 or later except a mon..?

hmm okie later going to aj concert le.. hope it ll be a nice evening n nite.. =) hope someone dun spoil it..

:: ominia vincit amour ::=:: love conquers all ::

hahaz!.. i did a face-lift for my blog!... haha this time the theme is black..
hmm v long time din blog le.. first was the stupid SASSERS worm virus.. haha den came the dunno wad stupid pic tt covered my whole blog content.. hope this time round wun have anything happen le.. haha!

hmm.. i need to rush my tutorials!.. mrs lokman is rushing like hell!.. she is now halfwae thru aryl halides..n i m at starting of aryl halides? haha i need to finish it n phenylamines by tonite.. hmm.. tt shall be it..

hey thesedaes in neutral n trans mode.. dunno juz feel v lethargic..
giv me power pls!

:suddenly i realised tt maybe liking someone can have -ve gradient :

hmm`.. dunno for the moment now. for todae. for the past 3 daes. he is not stupid guy. in fact he made me real happy.. haha y isnt he online now. make my dae complete mah. cuz i din see him whole dae todae.. juz saw his back view n he was leaving sch? hmmm.. notti.. pon s paper again..

haha.. i was v happy on wed wor.. hahaz. i played with his hp. well he din sae cannot see inbox mah.. den i see lo. i saw a whole list of my smses.. coupled with 2 from huishan n 1 frm celine.. hmm.. i got freaked out n huang zhang n bip bop bip bop when i saw my name. den i quickly exit le.. haha den i went into sent items.. i also saw my names.. hmm.. is this a good sign or maybe i m tinking too much le..
den after co go home tt time he asked me wan take mrt not.. i sae okie initially den sae see if the majority wans den i ll follow suit lo.. hmm.. but in the end yuxin not enuff money n how can we pao qi yuxin rite. so he went home alone.. take mrt.. oh ya. b4 i borrowed his hp.. he was asking me to call him.. duno for wad. i almost called him to self-service.. oh gosh! haha i noe he was trying to take photo while i was busying with the zr chairs la.but i kept my head low. wad can he do..bleah!
haha den when i return the phone to him. this time he guang ming zheng da wan take my photo. haha of ccuz i siam. i use my hand to cover la duh. den he pulled my arm awae. in the end i still won!?!
haha.. go home den i tink if is lijuan den she ll surely pose for him one.. ahah yuenling is still yuenling...

on thurs.. rainy dae.. haha i sheltered chong wuto the bus stop.. yah.. i din shelter him.. sorry to yuxin n lijuan.. haha u all din have anything to watch.. haha.. u all huh.. so ba gua. but still.. he made me happy.. i dunno y. everything single ting he tok to me also can make my dae.. whether he wans take mrt not or take bus.. or whether he wans to tok to me about maths.. haah.. all i m happy.

haha oh dear.. fa hua chi le..
haha.. sleep le ger.. quick go sleep while u r still happy..

:: u make my dae. u r not my only sunshine. but u shine my dae.. tts sufficient :: =)

hmm. i feel utterly low now. the dae started so happily with yinjie offering me a piece of her cheesecake. den came hashbrowns at the "the wok" stall.. ermz.. den everything so smoothly during pe till science quiz. tt was the end. end of my light spirit. i felt heavy since then.

the heart sinks. u noe how it sinks. u can really feel its below somwhere close to the diaphragm there..

y did i feel so depressed.. i din went co todae. i felt guilty. really guilty. but i guess everybody need a vent somehow. den came settling the performance list for tmr. n eliza told me she dun wanna play sanxian anymore. n huangsheng insists on wanting one for hongqi. shuyi doesnt wan sub eliza's place for dr. n eliza saes she dun wan go up for concert? where m i going to find so many pepz to take dr n sanxian? n the yr 1s .. seriously tink they dun really shu(2) enuff to go for the concert..
okie even frm the co.

n even he is playing. he din reply me. so wad? i felt sad. yes i felt sad. i worried for myself. den he replied. i felt happy. n he ask such an ambigious qn: if a guy fren suddenly tell u he likes u n u dun like him. wad will u do.. its Weird? is he confessing to some other gers? i really told him wadi feel is my ans to his qns. he din reply me. wad is he doing. at least have the courtesy? den online. i asked him did he succeed in confessing. he said he dun hav the guts. he sae he dun even noe the ger. he said he only tok to her onceb4 he liked her. frm den on. when he liked her. he nvr interact with the ger le. wad a weird scenario n situation.its bothering. bothering to such an extent tt i dun hav mood to study for bio. cannot like tt le. tt time already bcoz of him no mood study phy le. i cant let my studies be affected anymore

haiz. i feel depressed. being loved is so much better den loving somebody. but nobody loves me. hey. i love myself. but. its different. how shld i sae lehz. hmm. i dunno..

HEY yuenling ar!!!!> wake up!!!!

hmm.. the day started quite normal? i had a huge breakfast.. haha roti pratas.. yummy.. den i went on to do my discrete random variable tutorial.. den joyce called? we met at the bus stop at my hse cus she jus finished her tutoring session.. den we were supposed to go meet weileong for lunch b4 moving on to find a place to study.. weileong cut his hair.. haha so short now.. abit bu xi guan.. haha..

well.. my mum told me cant go airport study lo cuz got terrorist threat.. hmm so we went library but we cant find a place! so we went airport staff canteen to study instead.. hmm.. din do much lehz. i only finish the maths tutorial n i got stumped by the phy tutorial so i stuck there tink tink bu fu qi den haha came in an sms at 8++.. haha is he u noe..

he told he bot 6320 at a price of 800!! my heart went ouching for him.. haha so ex.. he she de worz. he she de part with his savings.. but like he alwaes sae.. he saved the money for tt purpose of cuz he will bear.. haha den continued with a few sms.. haha but i tink i left him one last sms which i dun tink can reply one.. haha so he nvr replied me back le.. but still i felt blessed.. haha its alwaes like tt.. one dae blessed one dae sad.. like a roller coaster ride.. so unpredictable.. when u r low u feel depressed.. but when u r high. u experience the happiness of being on top.. haha

hmm okie i m suppose to finish this blog n den go offline le den cont my ideal gases.. yepz. i gtg.. nitez!
good luck to joyce mechanics test..

:: blessed. i hope i alwaes will be ::

hmm.. todae was co's orientation was officially held.. hmm even thou quite late huh.. its april now.. ahem.. but i personally think it was fun.. haha nothing too draggy too formal nor too lame? haah at least i took it a point to notice everybody's expressions during different games.. at least i tink i saw smiles on everybody's face.. ahah hu cant get excited playing the "ni guo lai" or clement's "u come here" game? haha i like it loz. haha =)
pizza was nice too =)

oh well..i told weileong n beeshin about it le.. well.. my better frens arnd me all noe le.. i guess i like to share my happiness with people around me.. n tts my limit. i dun tink theres any more people whom i wish to let them noe le..

well..no he should be at fren's house staying overnite for playing ps? but guys are guys.. cant blame them ..haha enjoy ur game. i noe u will..

oh ya.. weileong gave me teenage magazine todae.. haha free one.. he juz wanted the hebe door hanger.. hmm.. afterall even thou he is abit gu niang at times.. hes still a nice person.n fren.. provided he dun suan me.. hmm like clement? sometimes i do appreciate his crappyness.. =) its good to see while many pple are dead.. clement is still alive crapping thou maybe is becoz he sleeps alot! haha

:: how i wish u r by my side ::

i juz went to the nokia site.. took a look at the phone he wanted to buy.. 6320.. haha its much nicer den 7200.. i really tink so. this time he got taste le.. haha..

this week passed really quickly n its so fast.. i haven blogged for a week also le.. hmm actually i dun hav anything to sae about this week.. its juz lectures tutorials tests co prac n nites of insufficient sleep..
i m feeling real tired n miserable about life.. its breathless..

hmm.. but i got to go home with him for everydae of this week.. except for todae cuz he ponn-ed phy s. hmph.. notti boy.. oh i realised i m going to so many college productions this yr.. haha lemme count my money spent of peng-changing all these tings..

1) VJ funfair
2) AJ concert
3) TJ Band
4) TJ CCC

wow~..

:: i m left with nothing except doubts of everything.. n maybe a little memories of him..::

hmm.. was reading a book n i came across this poem?

Crush
Dear diary,

Oh joy, what joy is this i feel,
He smiled at me today!
I'd never thought it would feel like this
I'm walking in a daze!
I'd seen him a million times before
He isnt really that great
And felt like a dowdy brat
But he smiled, oh smiled at me totally
Or did he smiled at the cat.....

Today he passed me by again
Without a change of face or gait
And just as i was rushing on.....
He shouted, "Wait!"
I stood as one transfixed
Beside the library dor,
My stupid heart started hammering
I was surprised he didnt feel the thumps thru the floor

He had to repeat what he said twice
Before i caught his drift
But when i finally understood
I wanted tog ive him a kiss!
He was twice as nervous as i m
And equally smitten it seems
He wants to take me out to lunch

But OH! Everything is just a dream!

Emma Theo