Figure Out Some Thing Of Myself

I have finally figure out something of myself.
Yes, it is really have some feeling when every time i hang out with some female friend.
Yes, it is a great feeling to every female friend.
At beginning i though that was i am liking them.
But actually this feel is appear every time when i hang out with (female) friends.
So, actually maybe this is just a normal feeling toward a female friend.
But not a really LOVE as what i dream and waiting to.
Yeah, i do love everyone of my friend.
So it is maybe something like that.
Until now, i still ain't get the special feeling to any girl.
Maybe for me, i already forgot what is the special feeling.
Or maybe my formula for build up the love is take time to light up the love.
Who knows?
I ain't know really about myself.
Just let it be and all hand up to god arrangement.
Enjoy my single life is god want me to do it.

I am back

Yes, i am back.
but back with different personality.
i am no longer emo.
i get use to my life right now.
i am very enjoy the single life.
i do what i want, what i love and spent all my time for only myself and the person who are value for me.
previously, i am used to write in mandarin.
but now, i feel lazy to type in chinese..haha...
maybe this 2 years, i adapt into different situation which bring me look very forward but not only review the history.
yes, every single person have their history, some was sour some was sweet.
i feel myself right now as freedom person.
which i do not get link with the relationship problem.
my time, is not enough...i need more than 24 hours.
a lot of task waiting me to solve.

what i had promise myself past 2 years, now i am achieve it.
i promise myself do not only focus on the relationship problem
i promise myself fully utilize my life with doing more thing.
although there are not much improve..
but at least i had step out my first step.
erm...
i really feel my life is very meaningful..
i love the moment right now.
i really appreciate my life right now.

P/S: life is short for us, please fully utilize it make it a wonderful story. i wish i could have more and more interesting thing happen for coming soon days... appreciate.... =)

我知道

我知道，我去看，会再次让自己伤心。

我也知道，我不去看，你也一样能活得开心。

就那么简单的两行字，谁能明白？

Promise MySelf

for now. i promise myself.

never view for her profile.

never look back the photo that we took.

never think back what we had been done together.

everything just a suffering for me.

why i still need to hurting myself?

this is what we call " fan jian"?

work hard for the job.

spending more time with my my friend and family.

do focus on the thing i have right now.

what means by " just let it pass"?

everything is end, just let it be, just let it end, and just let it disappear in your life.

you are good counselor among your friend.

why you can do that to your friend. BUT NOT YOU?

try to applicate what u had told other.

try subscribe it into your daily life.

you already pass the most suffering thing ( i think so) in your 22 years old.

looking further.

focus on yourself.

what the thing are not belonging with you.

it will run away from your one day.

you have to be happy because god bring it out from your life.

there are still have happiness in your future life.

human live with a wonderful dream and transfer to the miracle life.

think positive, be happy, everything will be fine.

work hard for your future. yoxi kyu.

恐惧的感觉

真的很怕看回你以前的那些照片。

我会很怕。

那种恐惧感，充满了我的心。

很怕。

不敢往前踏进一步。

这种感觉，真的好怕。

那种一个人的感觉。

无助的感觉。

恐惧的感觉。

全部一下子涌进了我的心。

全部都是害怕的感觉。

我，真的很怕。

习惯了一个人的日子

开始已经习惯了一个人的日子。

一个人吃饭，

一个人上课，

一个人读书，

一个人在静静的地方温习功课，

拿起电话耳机就往耳朵塞，

听着一首首那么熟悉的歌。

看着四周宁静的环境。

现在下雨了，雨下得好大。

天黑黑，雨大大。风凉凉。

看着economic一张张的纸。

头脑，偶尔不专心，但是，还是训练好自己好好专心读书。

现在的努力，造就以后的日子。

没时间写部落格，但是，心情不好，就会往这里塞。

不再往面子书写出心情，以前的不成熟，把大家都搞得压力累累。

现在，理智的作出每一个决定。

虽然痛苦，但是自己知道是为了大家好。

过去的东西，怎样弥补到弥补不回来。

以其放下，放下执着，让自己的心情，更好过，更舒服，不对吗？

有些事，错了，就是错了。

要不然，怎么会有，三思后行这个成语呢？

好了。专心读书。

慢慢的发觉

原来，我已慢慢的变了。

慢慢的发觉，我不再是那个愿意等待你的人。

我的生活，不断地在发掘新的事物。

我不喜欢做等待。

等待一个没有结局的事物。

我要的是被重视，而不是愚昧的一再借用借口来掩饰。

现在的我，站在圈子外面。

我，开始看到很多不同事物。

眼里不再只有你，不再去执着与一件事。

以前的压迫感，开始消失了。

或许是根本不去想知道你的一切一切。

两个人的世界，真的不容易。

我，宁愿一个人。

享受现在一个人的生活，不受任何人约束。

不开心，我就打给朋友。

找朋友聊天，已经变成了我的喜好。

网络游戏，已经让我不感兴趣。

我热爱游泳了，每一天，一定要游一次，才甘心。

只想在一年半的大学生活，添加一些可以美好回忆的记忆。

而不是只在于感情事。

慢慢的发觉，我也爱上了烹饪。

当自己煮了一道不错吃的食物，感觉很满足。

和朋友分享时，别人称赞你，那种感觉，很好。

或许我的人生，会在这段期间，有了转折点。

有时在想，活了二十二年了，为什么还是为了感情事，伤心懊恼难过呢？

把那些时间，让出来，做其它食物，不是更好吗？

你可以说我狠心，或者爱不深。

但是，当我痛苦难受时，有谁能真正感受到我的感受呢？

有些事，明明是会让自己有不好受的感受，就别再伤害自己。

珍惜一切的事物，发生了，可以阻止，就要努力去阻止。

当一切事物已成定局，那就接受。

接受了，再让自己重新回到正确的轨道。

我，跌倒了。但是，我也再爬起来。

谢谢一切经历的，我不埋怨，因为，它让我成长。

我，真的很享受现在每一个感受。

这才是最真实的现在。