My Labor and Delivery

As Yang announced below, Xiao Mei was born February 13, 2008. In anticipation of her arrival, I read five pregnancy books and three child care books. I completed a child care class and a labor and delivery class. I thought I was informed. I thought I was ready.

Nothing could have prepared me for the experience of giving birth.

Tuesday afternoon, around 2 pm, I started noticing regular contractions. They didn’t hurt, so I assumed they were “false labor.” I assumed they would last days, or at least a dozen hours or so. Experienced mothers confirmed my assumptions. I went about my work and started packing up for home at 5 pm. By then, my contractions were a bit more painful. By the time I pulled into my drive way, I was doubled over. I called Yang and suggested that he come home rather than going to his deputy training that night. By the time he got home (around 6 pm) my contractions were three minutes apart. We headed to the hospital.

When they checked me at the hospital, the nurse told me that I was only dilated to a one! A one! I could not believe it. I felt like I failed the first test of motherhood. I promise the contractions hurt. Thankfully, the nurse believed me and I was admitted. I went into the hot tub to help with the pain and stayed there for about 45 minutes. Then the nurse checked me again. I was at a five! I calmly asked (read: screamed) for an epidural. It was on its way. I waited. It was on its way. The anesthesiologist arrived just as I reached nine. The epidural kicked in just in time to start pushing. By then it was about 10 pm. Everyone assumed that the baby would be out in 20 minutes, but unfortunately I had to push for about 2 ½ hours. Ugh. Toward the end of pushing, her heart rate started dropping. The OB suggested assistance with forceps, and meanwhile they prepared a surgical bed for a cesarean. Thankfully, she came out with assistance.

The whole world melted away when they placed my Xiao Mei on my stomach.

Nothing could have prepared me for the experience of holding Xiao Mei for the first time.

That is my labor and delivery story. Let us never speak of it again.

Below are some pictures of Xiao Mei’s first bath and first car ride. My mother made my nursery set, and the quilt was too beautiful to use as a blanket so I hung it on the wall.

I also posted a picture that illustrates why we affectionately refer to her as "bug."

Xiao Mei

Meet our new addition, whose blog name will be Xiao Mei. Xiao Mei was born early this morning at 12:30, after about five hours of labor. Mom and daughter are doing well.

Xiao Mei is 6lbs 12oz, 20 inches long. Welcome to the world!

You're It

Chelle tagged me.

Here's the tag:

1. Pick up the nearest book (one of at least 123 pages)

2. Open the page to 123

3. Find the 5th sentence.

4. Post the next 3 sentences

5. Tag 5 people.

Here's my response:

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.

"'Our whole business therefore in this life,' wrote Saint Augustine, rather Yogically, 'is to restore to health the eye of the heart whereby God may be seen.'
Like all great philosophical ideas, this one is simple to understand but virtually impossible to imbibe. OK--so we are all one, and divinity abides within us all equally."

I tag: Shelley, mellow-drama, H. Bartle, G, and M.

Really, Huckabee? Really?!

"I know the pundits, and I know what they say: The math doesn't work out," Huckabee said Saturday morning at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington. "Well, I didn't major in math; I majored in miracles. And I still believe in those, too."

Blech.

One Hundred Hours Until I Meet You

Or two weeks, or two days, or....

Wow. I'm still crying over this essay. Thinking about the moment I get to meet my "long lost friend" is consuming my mind. Thinking about two weeks later, when I am tired and confused is also on my mind. I am about to be tested and tried in a way I can't even imagine, but I am so excited to start.

Death, Birth, and the Whole Cycle of Life

I apologize in advance because this post is intentionally vague and obtuse. Two particular deaths in the last week have focused my thoughts on life and mortality. Last night, Yang commented that death comes in threes, so I should expect one more. I’m not superstitious, but I’m still a bit worried. I hope the Enforcer of Superstitious Rules bends the rule in this case or will allow Ella’s birth to substitute for the last death.

Death is a common topic of conversation in my line of work, so I am usually very matter-of-fact about it. It is natural and even beautiful. But, death is such a sharp contrast to the life growing inside of me that lately the thought of it stings. How can people be dying when life is just beginning for Eleanor and me? Throw pregnancy hormones in the mix, and I’m a big bundle of confusion, peace, fear, serenity, and tears.

I must admit, however, that nothing celebrates life more powerfully than juxtaposing it with death.

37 Weeks and Sympathy Nesting

Behold, the belly! Being 37 and a half weeks pregnant is not much fun. I hurt and I’m grouchy. Poor Yang. I did not want to post a picture, but 9 months (one year...two years) from now, when I’ve finally recovered (physically, at least), it may be interesting to look back at this time.

Yang has been an ideal, supportive husband. No, really, I’m not just blowing smoke. He’s amazing. He has been so sympathetic and understanding for the last 37 weeks. Thankfully, his sympathy has never really veered into sympathy symptoms. His diet and weight have been consistent, his illnesses (legitimate and/or hypochondria-related) have never required more attention than my pregnancy caused illnesses, and most importantly, he has never complained of back pain in my presence.

Yang has, however, recently developed sympathy nesting. (The best symptom of all!). Two days ago, he decided to finish the remaining room in the house–the one we decided not to finish until sometime later this year. The last few nights, in his free time (between 10 pm and 2 am), he has removed trim and textured the walls. He still needs to paint, install hardwood floors, replace doors and closets, and add trim. Knowing Yang, this will be finished by Sunday afternoon.

Despite my grouchiness, I have been flooded with kindness from family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors. The proverbial village really does step up to help raise (gestate?) a child. I have had a few baby showers, and I have been overwhelmed with gifts and support. People are so generous at a time when the help is definitely needed. I am very grateful.

I’ll keep you all up to date. It is very likely that my next post will be an announcement!

Interesting

Check out this great essay on the intersection of Mormonism and politics.

Rats!

Chinese New Year is February 7, 2008. That date ushers in the Year of the Rat, and Ella will most likely be a Rat. According to Wikipedia, “being the first sign of the Chinese zodiac, rats are leaders, pioneers and conquerors. They are charming, passionate, charismatic, practical and hardworking. Rat people are endowed with great leadership skills and are the most highly organized, meticulous, and systematic of the twelve signs.” Good so far. But wait,

“Behind the smiles and charm, rats can be terribly obstinate and controlling, insisting on having things their way no matter what the cost. These people tend to have immense control of their emotions, which they may use as a tool to manipulate and exploit others, both emotionally and mentally. Rats are masters of mind games and can be very dangerous, calculative and downright cruel if the need arises. Quick-tempered and aggressive, they will not think twice about exacting revenge on those that hurt them in any way. Rats need to learn to relax sometimes, as they can be quite obsessed with detail, intolerant and strict, demanding order, obedience, and perfection.”

Yikes! It gets even worse, “Traditionally, Rats should avoid Horses, but they can usually find their best friends. . . in Monkeys, Dragons, and Oxen.” Great. I’m a Horse and Yang is a Dragon. I knew she’d be a daddy’s girl.

Hmmm. Maybe I should hope for an early arrival. February 6, 2008 would be a great birthday. Then Ella would be a Pig.

“The Pig type is usually an honest, straightforward and patient person. They are a modest, shy character who prefers to work quietly behind the scenes. When others despair, they are often there to offer support. . . It is easy to put trust in pig type; they won't let you down and will never even attempt to do so.. . .”

“There is a tolerant and peaceful side to their character. Such people are never afraid to allow others their freedom of expression; they do not want to cause arguments and if there is any way to avoid arguing, they will probably take this option. However, they are not weak and if the situation forces them to fight these people will rise to the occasion, whether it is to defend themselves or those close to them.”

Rats or Pigs? I want a Pig.

Update

I feel like I should be in a Nationwide commercial, with Joel McHale playing the part of Eleanor. Life comes at you fast. This post is a random update on pregnancy and other issues.

First, I am 33 weeks along. Dang. I hoped I would still be cute pregnant at this point, but I most definitely am not. I am jabba-huge. My stomach is out of control—I keep expecting to tip over. Unfortunately, my butt and legs are out of control as well. It’s a whole body transition. My back aches, I can’t sleep well, and I run out of breath after walking more than 10 steps. My emotions aren’t totally out of control, but I do have a touch of the crazy. I am much more honest than I’ve ever been. I just don’t have the patience for social niceties and subtleties anymore. My back hurts too much to be polite.

My cats have discovered that my pregnant belly provides a nice cozy perch, so they jump up on my stomach every time I sit still. Ella isn’t quite sure what to think about the company. Sometimes she tolerates the squatters, but most times she kicks and punches them. Often, she moves enough to run the cats off the belly! I anticipate this battle will continue into the postpartum days. I suspect Gollum, in particular, will compete for my attention every time I hold Ella. Sorry Gollum. You will lose, but I’ll do my best to accommodate both cat and baby.

Of all the indignities of pregnancy, nothing is more humiliating than pregnancy aerobics. (Ok, um, there are several things more humiliating, but let me be dramatic for a moment). I recently started an aerobic routine because my hugeness is out of control. Wow, I must look very pathetic shuffling along and waving my arms. I used to run 10+ miles a week, now I get winded doing the mambo-cha-cha-cha. Thankfully I can do it in the privacy of my own home.

In non-pregnancy news, I am obsessed with the 2008 campaign. It all started with the Romney Mormon issue. I am not Republican, and would not vote for Romney if I were, but I am fascinated with his campaign. I must admit I am very surprised at how the whole Mormon issue has played out. I agree with what Ken Jennings said in a NY Daily News opinion (sorry, I can’t find a link).

“This is a strange season to be a Mormon,” Jennings begins. “During my lifetime, I thought The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints had effectively mainstreamed itself. Being a Mormon was like being Canadian, or a vegetarian, or a unicyclist — it made you a bit of a conversation piece at dinner, but you didn’t come in for any lip-curling scorn.”

The news coverage in December was surprisingly vitriolic. I love the irony in religious people calling other religious people crazy, or southern Baptists calling Mormons racist, or journalists requesting that Romney summarize his faith in a political speech. I couldn’t fully explain the essence, basis, and nuance of my faith if I had a week.

I think Romney asked for the scrutiny when he cozied up to the religious right. Ugh. I just hate that our whole religion was dragged into it. I am the first to admit it is painfully easy to create a caricature of Mormonism. But I am also the first to claim that faith is something beautiful, complex, and worthy of respect (or at least tolerance).

In all honesty, I hope Romney loses in Iowa and drops out of the race because he is a Mormon. I guess that makes me a bigot.

Christmas update: Yang and I had a mellow, enjoyable Christmas. We both took some time off work and hung out at the house. For Yang, hanging out meant working on the house. He finished the trim in the kitchen and replaced the kitchen window. We opened our presents a few days early. He got me a video camera and I got him a police scanner. (I know, I know, I shouldn’t encourage him).

The next few weeks will be dedicated to wrapping up work in anticipation of my leave and preparing for baby. I start my childbirth prep classes next week, and I am sure Ella will be here before I am ready. I’m excited.

Labor and Delivery Play List

I am in week 29 of my pregnancy, and I cannot avoid thinking about labor and delivery any longer. I must be brave. Before I dive into the labor and delivery chapters in my pregnancy books, I want to start with a fun assignment--my labor and delivery play list.

I need some advice before I begin. Do you think I should have an up-tempo play list or a soothing play list? I have no idea. While we were at lunch today, G was telling me about his running play list. He has the Bourne Identity theme song on there, and he says it makes him run faster. Do you think fast songs will make my labor progress faster? Hmmm.

I can remember laughing out loud at some of Shelley’s choices for her labor and delivery play list. Some girls are bigger than others, indeed. Ugh...I hope Ella is not a big girl.

Anyway, I would love your recommendations.

I'll bite, too

. . . a month late.

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night? Yang, as always. Gollum made me laugh, but he is not a person.
2. What were you doing at 0800? Sleeping in, but moving from the bed to the couch because my back was hurting.
3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Arriving at work to catch-up on some things before Monday. (Obviously, I haven’t started working yet).
4. What happened to you in 2006? I switched law firms, started golfing, said goodbye to a good friend that moved to another state, met up with my high school girlfriends in Las Vegas (it was the first time I had seen some of them in years), attended my friend’s wedding in California, and ran Hood to Coast.
5. What was the last thing you said out loud? Thank you to the gas attendant.
6. How many beverages did you have today? So far, some water and a cup of peppermint hot chocolate. I’ll have more milk and water before the day is up. I miss Diet Coke.
7. What color is your hairbrush? Black.
8. What was the last thing you paid for? Gasoline...Yikes. It was still shocking even though I drive a Honda Civic.
9. Where were you last night? On my new couch watching episodes of Rome.
10. What color is your front door? It still has the manufacturer’s primer on it. We will paint it when we install the new siding and brick work on the front of the house. I had a purple door at my last house and loved it.
11. Where do you keep your change? In my purse and car. I used to raid Yang’s change cup in his office (he always had lots of quarters) when there was a snack box at work. Now that the snack box is gone (employees at my firm took too many candy bars without paying), I rarely use my change.
12. What’s the weather like today? Cloudy and cool.
13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor? Cherry Garcia.
14. What excites you? Parenting books, walks in the forest, good food and good movies/TV.
15. Do you want to cut your hair? Not yet. I’ll cut it eventually.
16. Are you over the age of 25? Yes. I’m almost 29.
17. Do you talk a lot? Less than I used to.
18. Do you watch the O.C.? No, although I do love low brow television. The OC never made it into my schedule.
19. Do you know anyone named Steven? Yes.
20. Do you make up your own words? No. I like Colbert’s made up words.
21. Are you a jealous person? Yes, but mildly so.
22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’. Amber.
23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’. Kami.
24. Who’s the first person on your received call list? A friend.
25. What does the last text message you received say? Can’t remember. I deleted it.
26. Do you chew on your straw? Yes.
27. Do you have curly hair? No, but I am developing a few random curls because of the pregnancy.
28. Where’s the next place you’re going to? Someplace for lunch.
29. Who’s the rudest person in your life? Former opposing counsel on one of the few cases I had an opposing counsel.
30. What was the last thing you ate? Left over pumpkin pie! Yum.
31. Will you get married in the future? No, unless it’s some cheesy renewing of the vows type thing, which Yang will never agree to.
32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks? Knocked Up. It is fun watching movies about pregnancy while pregnant because I seem so calm and collected when compared to Hollywood’s version of a pregnant woman.
33. Is there anyone you like right now? Yes.
34. When was the last time you did the dishes? Yesterday. Our kitchen was still a mess from thanksgiving cooking.
35. Are you currently depressed? Currently, no, but I am 100% at the mercy of pregnancy hormones. Ask me in 10 minutes.
36. Did you cry today? No.
37. Why did you answer and post this? Because SCM tagged me, and because my blog celebrates the mundane. Oh, and I’m avoiding work.
38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey. I don’t think I have five readers, and two of them have already done it. Skier Jess? M? G?

The Kitchen

When we learned I was pregnant, Yang agreed to have the house substantially completed by the beginning of February 2008. As always, Yang is an over-achiever. The house is substantially completed now. Here are some pictures of the kitchen, start to finish.

Eleanor the Longshanks

I am having a GIRL!!! My 20 week ultrasound was the first week of October, and the technician confirmed that our baby is a girl. I was convinced we were having a boy. My intuition is crap (big surprise), and the Chinese birth calendar is wrong. I am, nevertheless, very happy to be having a girl. In all honesty, I'm a little relieved as well. Yang claims he's known it was a girl all along.

Eleanor is the at the top of our short list of names. We love Eleanor and will call her Ella for short. We may change our minds before she is born, but for now she is Ella.

At my ultrasound appointment, I was also informed that Ella had long legs. I was so excited! I started making plans for her future career as a volley-ball player, US President, model, and/or Confident Woman with Commanding Presence. My daughter, the tall one. My dreams for her ended yesterday. I had a follow up ultrasound and learned that my baby is in the 50th percentile for height and weight. She is average. She is not tall. Sigh. At least she can still be president.

Comfort Blankets

I went home for lunch today (yes, I live that close to work—it’s heavenly). On my doorstep was a big box from my mother. The box was full of about 8 baby blankets, each one with a matching onesie. The onesies have cute little animals on them, and they are so small with tiny cap sleeves. (Am I really going to have a baby that small? Will s/he break?) The blankets are soft, small, whimsical and so cute that pre-pregnancy I might have gagged a little. But, I am so very pregnant, and I love the blankets so very much. I wanted to curl up under them all and take a nap. But I was ravenously hungry and went straightaway to make my lunch.

Pregnancy is like MSG for my emotions. It brings out the flavor. I am super-scared, super-excited, super-loving, super-irrational, and/or super-bitchy. But I’m always super-something. My first trimester, I felt overwhelmingly nervous, anxious, and scared. My second trimester has been totally different. I love being pregnant. I love my belly, I love the concept, I am indulging my nesting instinct (with super-human help from Yang), and I am so excited to be a mom. I wonder what the third trimester will bring.

This is the first time in my pregnancy that I have been so emotional over an object. I love those blankets. I love those onesies. Not just because my baby will soon be wrapped up in them, but because they are a comfort in and of themselves. They represent my fairytale concept of domestic tranquility and maternal bliss. The cynical, smarter half of me knows that there will be very few tranquil and blissful moments as new mom, so that is why I am soaking it all up right now. Those blankets represent the impressionistic painting of motherhood, with soft light streaming through the windows and a beautiful baby sleeping soundly in the arms of a calm, capable, loving mother. Heh, heh, heh. I can dream, can’t I?

High School Reunion

I went to my ten year high school reunion in Salt Lake City on June 9, 2007. I never thought I would be the kind of person that goes to her ten year high school reunion. You know the kind--the person who actually liked high school while she was there and can't wait to remind everyone of how cool she used to be (even if her coolness factor has significantly decreased since then). In fact, I intended to be the person that was TOO COOL to go to the reunion. Well, um, I went. I was never cool in high school and I'm still not. At least I had a law degree to brag about and I haven't gained 50 pounds. . . yet.

My girl friends and I used it as an excuse to get together; thereby allowing Yang an "out." My best friend A is in Georgia, J is in Utah, and S is in California. I lost contact with the girls during my late college and early law school years, but we've since reconnected. I'll take any reason I can get to have a girls' weekend. I also used the reunion as an excuse to go to Moab, Utah. I really miss Moab, and I think it may be the most beautiful place on earth. We went hiking and river rafting for two days before the reunion. The hikes were awesome, especially the one to Delicate Arch. The river rafting was FREEZING, but thankfully we didn't get dumped. We ate at fun resort-town-restaurants each night and had an amazing time.

The reunion was on Saturday. I was a class officer (gag), so I had to help plan the damn thing. We did it on the cheap and still had a pretty decent turn out. There were about 10 people I was excited to see. About half of them showed up, and it was great catching up. I spent the rest of the night making small talk with people I didn't know, care about, or enjoy. It was great practice in the art of inane social small talk, but it was excruciating none the less. In retrospect, I should have skipped the reunion and met up with the girls in Vegas. Although, Moab was worth it.

GOOD NEWS

Yang and I are expecting our first child on February 17, 2008. Hooray! We are both so excited (and nervous) to be starting this crazy journey.

My pregnancy has been pretty mild so far. (I realize that the pregnancy gods will make up for it in the third trimester). I was fairly sick for about a month during my first trimester. I was also amazingly exhausted and spacey. It didn’t help that I cut out caffeine. Now I am in week 16, and things are better than before. I’m over the morning sickness, and some of my energy and focus has returned.

I posted some of my thoughts on pregnancy at Feminist Mormon Housewives. (For my non-mormon readers: fMh is a mormon-themed blog (as you can tell from the title). Therefore, keep in mind that my comments there are written for a mostly mormon audience.)

By the way, if you read this SCM, I was dying to tell you at your shower. However, I bit my tongue because I didn’t want to take any focus away from you and Ed!

Curiosity

Gollum decided to help us paint. He is such a good helper.

The Rose City

My parents came to visit us the first weekend in June. I love having company because it gives us an excuse to do all the touristy things in Portland we would otherwise never do. For example, we went to the International Rose Testing Garden on June 2. The timing was PERFECT. All the rose bushes were in bloom, and most of the flowers were at their peak. It was beautiful.

We also went to Cannon Beach and had dinner at Mo’s. We ate lunch at Hot Lips Pizza in the Pearl and went on a Portland Spirit dinner cruise. The dinner cruise was better than I expected, but I could have done without the waiting staff breaking into song every 20 minutes. Ugh. The cruise allowed me to view all the river-side property in Lake Oswego I will one day acquire. (Yang, start working harder).

We had a great time showing the best of Portland to my parents.

Top 5 Concerts

We had a construction dumpster delivered to our house today. After work, I started making trips from the back yard to the dumpster in the driveway with arms full of cabinets, scrap wood, and tree branches. I listened to my ipod the whole time, and I got super excited every time a Killers song came on. Yang, G, M and I are going the Killers concert in Portland this Saturday. I can’t wait! I have not been to a rock concert in a really long time. I started thinking of the last concert I went to and all the concerts before that. So, dear readers, please indulge me as I take a trip down rock concert memory lane.

The last concert I went to was Indigo Girls in SLC with Jenn (I've been to three other IG shows). Before that I went to see Psychedelic Furs with K and G in Baltimore. The first concert I ever went to was The Cure (Wish tour) when I was 13 (I’m not counting MC Hammer because my friend gave me those tickets and I didn’t really want to go). I also saw The Cure’s Wild Mood Swings tour. I’ve seen Depeche Mode three times (Devoted, Ultra, and a Singles tour in London in 1998). K won front row tickets and back stage passes to the Devoted tour in 1994. Being the best sister ever, she invited me to go with her.

I’ve seen Everclear, Howard Jones, Eve 6, U2 (Popmart tour—worst U2 tour ever), Toad the Wet Sprocket, B-52s, Semisonic, and Matchbox 20. I had to lie to my mom and/or sneak out in order to see the following concerts: Tool, Marilyn Manson, and 311. I should have gone to the following shows, but didn’t because of various conflicts/problems: Sarah McLoughlin, Dave Matthews Band, and The Cranberries.

My top 5:

1. Depeche Mode Devoted (ahhh, Dave Gahan)
2. The Cure Wild Mood Swings (oh so very fun)
3. Indigo Girls (each concert was like an arena campfire sing along)
4. B-52s (I had a girl crush on Kate Pierson)
5. Matchbox 20 (not a great show, but my first concert with Yang)