Holiday ~~ ^^

Tues. [ Morning ] Cloudy [ Evening ] Sunny . Mood : Wonder -ING, Thinking-ing and Learn-ing. 22 Dec 2009


今天考完试了，放假了，
不过明天才可以回。
这几天心情还是很莫名其妙，
奇怪，不舒服，紧张。


希望，这些感觉，
快快消失，
让我有回，
以前的快乐，
潇洒，健康。


也许，大学的压力，我现在才感受到。
以前不曾有这些问题，
我现在全身发热，
不舒服，可能病了，
如果只是病这么单纯就好，
希望早日康复，
做回开开心心的自己。

从现在起，
天天都要快乐~
假期快乐，
圣诞快乐，
新年快乐。

莫明其妙

Mon. [ Morning ] Cloudy [ Evening ] Sunny . Mood : Meditation -ING, Thinking-ing and Learn-ing. 21 Dec 2009


今天，
脾气莫名其妙的不好，
睡醒也没东西做。
就看看戏，玩玩games，
书也不读，明天就考试。
=.="


就这样，上上网，
看看朋友的部落格，
找人聊聊天，
耗到6点左右。
后来就和housemate，
一起到西湖公园，
走走，拍拍照。
=) 风景很美~


到了现在，
心情还是很“莫名其妙”，
不想读书，可是明天考书。
就这样，我想，
可能是考“英文”的关系，
不知道读什么；
也可能是最后一课考试，
所以懒惰，不想读；
也可能，大家明天就可以回，
而我必须呆多一天，
所以，让我完全没有心情。
~ 囧 ~


待会儿看看一些，
作文，文章，
明天就考试，
等后天的到来，
家人来载我回。


我必须要调整我的心情，
回复我的活力，
开心开心过这两天在金宝，
然后就可以回槟城了~
=)


祝我们大家考试顺利，
身体健康，
假期快乐
冬至快乐，
圣诞快乐，
新年快乐。
o(≧v≦)o~~

感触的歌~ 手放开

Sun. [ Morning ] Cloudy [ Evening ] Rainny . Mood : Meditation -ING, Thinking-ing and Learn-ing. 20 Dec 2009

今天，又一天过了，
书也没读到，真是的。
到了现在，很闷，
一直找东西弄，
就是不读书，真是的。

刚刚听了李圣杰的歌，
旧的，新的，都很感触，
他还真的是情歌的情圣呀~
还让我感触，流出一直流不出的泪，
其中很多都很感动，
我就写歌名和几句我感触的。
和大家分享分享，
也许大家都听过的。 =)

♩♪♫♬ 最近 ♩♪♫♬
你想要的　我卻不能給你我全部
我能給的卻又不是你想要擁有的

♩♪♫♬ 痴心绝对♩♪♫♬
明知道讓你離開他的世界不可能會
我還傻傻等到奇跡出現的那一天 ...
..........................................................
看見你和他在我面前
證明我的愛只是愚昧


♩♪♫♬ 很想说 ♩♪♫♬
以為手不放開就是痴心絕對 太愚昧
難道 笑容沒了 距離有了 快樂也走了
還是 真心死了 彼此不信任了 終於懂了 真的
很想說有你是幸福的
很想說我的心是你的
很想說你真的誤解了

♩♪♫♬ ღ¸¸.·*´¯`♥手放开 ღ¸¸.·*´¯`♥♩♪♫♬

不能给你未来我还你现在
安静结束也是另一种对待
当眼泪留下来
伤已超载
分开也是另一种明白
我给你最后的疼爱是手放开
不要一张双人床中间隔着一片海
感情的污点就留给时间慢慢漂白
把爱收进胸前左边口袋
最后的疼爱是手放开
不想用言语拉扯所以选择不责怪
感情就像候车月台有人走有人来
我的心是一个站牌
写着等待

~~~~~
手放开~
Bye Bye ~
~~~~~

感激万分我爱的人（朋友家人们）

Fri. [ Morning ] Cloudy [ Evening ] Cloudy . Mood : Meditation -ING, Thinking-ing and Learn-ing. 18 Dec 2009


今天，一个好友，
她终于有部落格了，
哈哈哈~ 很开心~
也看到了她生活的一点一滴，
开心，快乐~


再下来，就是，
事情已经告一段落，很久了，
我的心情也开始不这么沉重，
想法也开朗点了，多谢一直陪伴我的朋友，家人。
当中几个贡献最大，不过其他都很好，陪我度过。
Jia Hong - Paling Pro 1.. xD Thanks dude~
Su Fen - 谢谢你，如你所说，我对感情是还太嫩，不怪你说在这方面说我小弟弟，哈哈。
Susan - 很感谢你，对我又开导，又骂我~ （骂得好) hahaha ~
Fish Yun Yun - 你也说得好，骂得对~ 哈哈~ 感谢万分~
Mandy - 也很谢谢你，因为你说笑让我很开心~ 哈哈~
Yew Mum & Sook Wei - 多得你们开导，我才不会这么的纳闷~ 嘻嘻~
Enrin - 虽然我们相识不久，却似曾相似~ 哈哈~谢谢你的开导 too ^^~
Joey,干妹妹Joey，Wei Yin, 我家人，我妹妹，我舅舅~
还有众多关心我的人，感谢~ 万分~ 感激~


I should grown up and ain't a child .. =)
我会坚强，我会快乐，我就是我~~~！！
感谢，我爱你们 ~~
哈哈哈~ （ 有点肉麻，不好意思 ）
Forever Friends ~

今天领悟到这句，
我们很普通.但是，我们仍可以在平凡中寻找不同的乐趣。
Happy among all of us . =)

最近我的样，已经变了样

Tues. [ Morning ] Cloudy [ Evening ] 还不知道o~.~o . Mood : Analysis-ING, Thinking-ing and Learn-ing. 17 Dec 2009


近来这1，2个月，
经历一些事情，
可以说每一件事，
都是我的初体验。
都是一些，刺激，打击，
不过不能说是不好，
因为这是生活会经历的事情。


其中，感情最头疼，
听了林俊杰的“害怕”，
很欣赏这一句 “为你我能做的，竟还没让你相信是爱情”，
因为不是每个人的爱情观是一样的，
所以，我才明白，
为何常常听到女孩子们，
常常挂在口边说的话，
“受了伤，不敢恋爱” 或是 “不知道他在想什么” 等，
有时候，不管男生或女生，
有时候连自己在想什么都不知道。
所以，我才明白，女孩的话，
痛过，伤过，所以不敢恋爱...
因为，我也有同感...
不敢恋爱 ...


在大学的朋友，比较好的朋友，
大家都看到，我的样变了样。
买了新手机，心爱长发剪短了，
买了一些衣，书也不想读了...
也许是因为寂寞，失落，挫折.. 等失败的感觉，
是我人生一直以来第一次的经历..
所以就开始颓废.乱花钱，乱乱来，
来满足那些寂寞，失落，挫折....
也许吧...但我在努力着不要继续这样..
努力看开.努力学坏...


现在每想起，每听到，每看到，
心疼，泪框满，脑空白...
想要哭过，想要看开，
所以努力着，
不再执着。
努力，期待到了那天，
当我看到你，想到你，听到你时，
不再心疼，不再泪流，不再伤心，
就是那天，那天开始就是全新的我了。

所以，最近我的样，已经变了样，
可是，我的样会继续变样到开心的样~ =)

原来感情真的不是说放得下就放得下的...
时间+努力 来让我解脱吧~

I am who I am

Mon. [ Morning ] Sunny [ Evening ] Raining . Mood : Helpless-ING, Thinking-ing and Learn-ing. 14 Dec 2009


It's seem ... almost 1-2months ...
I'm being like ... emotional unstable ...
hiding my emotional from people ...
controlling the emotion so it wouldn't ..


Haiz ... sometimes..
I always here people said about me..
and all almost the same ...
and I write it here you might agree...
1. I look smart ( faint ... )
2. I look like playboy ( walao eh ... =.=" )
3. I look like a rich people ( this is paling lame 1 )
and of course more ...

somehow , after friends know about me..
some say I'm good ... I'm kind .. ( yes , it's true )
some say I'm hot temper ... ( well... sometimes.. )
some say I'm a good guy ( macam I'm have no "weakness" )
well.. base on these hypothesis ...
I admit I'm a hot temper ,
U might think I'm always good ,
kind to everyone ...
but actually not ...
I'm also will have bad times,
bad things happen to me ..
so I also will get angry, piss off.


I just suddenly feel ...
I'm kind to everyone is because it's mean from bottom of my heart ...
but when I'm hiding my emotional , my bad mood , my anger..
cause I don't wanna scare my friend off ...
but now I think it makes me feel ...
so not me ..
But if I express all my emotional ...
it will be a disaster ...tragedy ...

So I'm here ...
to sort my thinking ..
to sort my feeling ..
to clear my mind ...


and in conclusion ...
I want and I will ..
be myself and might gone wild...
xD ~~ and it's me ...

Stupid me stupid thing done

Mon. [ Morning ] Sunny [ Evening ] Storming . Mood : Helpless-ING, Thinking-ing and Learn-ing. 14 Dec 2009

Just finish my Marketing exam just now ,
is not really good but in hope to get at least A-.
Pray hardly as I had put effort a lot.


In the other hands ,
I done the most stupidest thing today ,
and it's nobody faults but my own.
Felt ... like ... crying ....
;(


But yet I controlled ...
But I wish I can express ...
I hope that I could lost control one day ...
one day that never too late ...
to feel better if it's help ...


Now just wait for the last paper on 22th ..
so now can relax and enjoy for awhile ...
hopefully things going great everyday ...

Everything I wanna say of my current life

Mon. [ Morning ] Sunny [ Evening ] Raining . Mood : Helpless-ING, Thinking-ing and Learn-ing. 14 Dec 2009

Woke up since 5pm ++ ,
wasn't in mood of studying for Wednesday exam,
thus I watch a movie " Cloudy a chance of Meatball ",
erm .. it's really kind of funny movie .. ^^
and then check on mail , Facebook ,
and then , found out is time for dinner again ...


And here is the part I still to think again ...
maybe emo a bit [ Sorry girl , I did it again .. ] .
Sometime wondering ... Life in Utar .
Now is my Degree Year 1 Semester 2 ,
already 1 and a half year [ 1 year 6months ] ,
comparing when the time I enter foundation ,
I was really a little boy .. knowing nothing ( seriously ),
but now ... thought had change , mind had set ,
perception, value, even my believe to life ...
totally changed ...


For a case now , I'm in FE2 ( my class )
I have my gang of friends , 3 boys 2 girls included me ,
it's was happy , enjoy , everything just fine .
Until today I found out it's not really fine ...
after my Best friend is kinda of busy ( no offend ya ),
I said it so because I felt my gang is not so close together ,
maybe it's just a beginning, as we just know each other for 5,6months,
3 boys 2 girls ... we just chat in school , after school ,
all back to their homes, dinner with housemate ,
dinner with girlfriend , boyfriend .
Actually is was nothing , Really !!!!
because I used to it while in foundation , alone.
But that's why I said thing change ,
I seem to become .. greedy ?
I mean seriously greedy ...
in everything ... tangible or intangible ...


While I saw other people , in westlake ,
they go for dinner in a gang , in a small group ,
I was like ... Loneliness strike on me ? ya I think ...
the feeling was not good ... not good at all ...
the heart felt pain , suffer , barely to breath ..


And yes I'm become greedy ...
I wish my gang can always stick together ...
even 1 or 2 times dinner together per week ,
or even come out yamcha ,hanging around for nothing , kepoh ,
just like other gangs of people in UTAR ,
but it was very less ... very very .. less
I know , all of them has their own life ,
that's why ... I felt HOPELESS ...
it wasn't anybody faults ...
It just mean to be. <<< [ I guess this is the right time to use this phrase ]


In the other hands ,
it was like we hanging around in campus ,
chatting , kepoh-ing or fooling around ,
but I think it deeply , "Do I really know and understand you guys and girls .." ?
what's your favourite color , movies , foods , hobby ?
something that a close friend should know .
From this moment , I felt I'm far apart from you all ...
I'm just too greedy , just can't stand the loneliness .
Life start to change since I'm alone again ,
thought go through my mind ,
times tick tock in my head ,
I can even feel every second is passing ,
every moment is me and only me ,
I ... I ... just hate helpless now ...
[ Cried ... ]

Everyone has their own cycle, own lifestyle ,
I guess is time to find one , my own one .
And I'm now was trying so hard to pulling distance between us ,
my friends , my gang in UTAR , the 3boys 2 girls .
Something I was feeling hopeless , again ,
when some of us was acting like " nothing " ,
or like " it's fine not hanging together " ,
[ P.S no offend seriously ]
well , again , not anybody's fault ,
This is what happen and it's not anyone' fault.


So , facing the current situation ,
and I need to approach some changes ,
[ Some friends say I change a lot recent , ( xD haha ) ,
but yet , changes are need cause I can't stand it anymore ]
I don't want my life full of emptiness ,
I don't want look back my life and it's was "nothing " to be memory .
I want to have my life , full of joys , happiness , and my friends ...

and i guess is time for food delivery again ...
it' almost 1 year with food delivery.. haiz
[ This articles is just to express what I feel and think ,
totally no offend or specialty target on anyone,
and it's just my express ,maybe I just can't stand of loneliness. ]


Some addition info , for myself and half of human in this planet ,Guys .
Guys something big , tall [ physically ] ,
Guys somehow seem fearless [ to cuts or emotion ]
Guys somehow seem strong when facing troubles ,
you might see guys laughing , smiling when facing bad situation ,
negative events , talks or troubles ,
and you were thinking " he should be fine " ,
while actually we are not .
Just wanna say, Guys are not as strong as you think.

Cried , doesn't mean I'm really down 哭，并不代表我屈服；
Stepping back,doesn't mean I'm surrender 退一步，并不象征我认输；
Letting go,doesn't mean I'm giving up 放手，并不表示我放弃；
Smiling , doesn't really mean I'm happy 微笑，并不意味我快乐!

Finish PM exam ..

Mon. [very] Sunny . Mood : Thinking-ing and Learn-ing. 14 Dec 2009

Today is my 1st day for exam ...
Just Finish PM exam just now ..
luckily the questions kena ...
Now really hopefully aim for Pass ...

Now are very tired ...
gonna sleep le ...
then wake up study for Marketing ...

Btw , Fish JieYun ..
thank you very much ...
for the PM ...xD
Rmb when come Butterworth tell me..
I rmb tat I own u 1 meal de...
haha ~

Good Night everyone ~
（¯﹃¯）口水 zzzz

Learning to be intedepent

Wed. Stormy . Mood : Thinking-ing and Learn-ing. 09 Dec 2009

That's been awhile I didn't update my blog ..
now only sudden to have mood to write... =)

It's been awhile for me...
to accept the pain ...
and yet to success ...


Stopped my rushing foot steps ,
and looking around me ,
that's a lot of thing I had missed ,
and now I'm seeking for those missed .
and now I'm loving those I missed ,
My Family , My Friends .... =)
and God ...


And I really need to say it again ..
it's really good to think ...
especially free ... thinking ...
make me much more understand ..
on what's going on ...
what I need ... what I want ...
what good for me ...
Yes ! it's feel great ~~~
and feels like getting my own soul back... =)


And yeah , I'm Mr.Thinker...
but yet, also learn to be more "active" ...
mixing around with friends.. messing around..
playing around , chit-chatting around ..
fooling around , hanging out around ..
how great these be ... right ?
must enjoy life for every moment ... ^^
every each memory is part of my life ..
no matter is pain or sweet ...
learned that from my Uncle.. =)


and now , I shall no be affect,
by those external factors ...
not to my emotional , my life ,
Learn to be strong ...
and now ....
Learning to be independent ...
I'm gonna grow stronger and stronger ... ^^
with all loves from family & friends ...
and of course.. God
Pray to God.. Amen ..

Every successful person has a painful story.
Every painful story has a successful ending.
Accept the pain and get ready for success.
^^ v ~~

Sunday, Sunway Carnival - 2 Movies

Mon. Sunny . Mood : EMO-ING, Thinking-ing and Learn-ing. 30 Nov 2009

Yesterday, Sunday ,
29 Nov 2009 ~
I'm hanging out with my sister to watch movie at Sunway Carnival Mall.
We watch Ninja Assassin and Twilight Saga : New Moon.
Both are awesome .
^^ ~

Ninja Assassin have a nice story ,
nice actions and many many blood ~
Rain has a really nice body and the shape are..
walao .. I want to have 1 of that .. T^T ~


Twilight Saga : New Moon is really nice..
specially the story line , music ,
and pity that Jacob ..
I feels that I understand his feeling ...
and I really hate what Bella did to Jacob ..
I totally know that feelings ...
It's feel sucks ... T^T ~
Jacob don't cry ~
I Cried ... ~
Pity Jacob~



And then..
after 1.30pm Ninja Assassin
and 4.45pm Twilight Saga : New Moon
we went to hall .. and that's snow ..
took some pictures of it ~
take a look ^^ ~



Snowing in the mall ... >.<

My sister ~ ^^



Yeah ~ it's me. .. in Snow ~ ^^v



outside Sunway Carnival Mall ~
took some pictures ~
but can't upload them all...
T,T ~ size too big ...


Sis & Deer ~




Me and Deer ~ ^^

enjoy the day ~
cheer ~
* btw, I found a shop in Sunway Carnival Mall, it has a lot of cute dolls ... animals , pets dolls... I'm gonna buy it for my love one for Christmas.. ^^ *
Happy Day ~
and Can't wait for Christmas ^^

Ipoh Trips

Mon. Sunny . Mood : EMO-ING, Thinking-ing and Learn-ing. 30 Nov 2009

27 Nov - 28 Nov I was in Ipoh with my uncle,uncle's family and grandmother ~
27 Nov early morning they come kampar to fetch me ..
arrive 8am ++ ~
then we go for breakfast ..
then head to Tambun ,
Lost World ~

here's some photos ..
the photo are too large and I'm lazy to upload..
( btw, hard to adjust the position of photos in blogspot..
blogspot please improve it.. =P )

Uncle's driving..

Lost World ~

Entrant ...
some of you , my friends,
you might can get ...
"FREE ENTRANT" ~
=P

Map ~

X'mas !!
I love X'mas ~

wow...
us ~

Water ..
beautiful ..^^

Granny and Me ~
OoO & ^v^

Raining ..
T^T ~
wuwuwu ~

*Kacha* ..
before leaving ..^^


So sad when we play from 10 am++ ..
then until 3pm++ , it's raining ..
so sad ..
but before back.. snap a photo 1st.. xixi
* kacha *

30 Nov - How are you ?

Mon. Sunny . Mood : EMO-ING, Thinking-ing and Learn-ing. 30 Nov 2009

Just reach kampar from butterworth ,
now is start of week 7 and going back this friday,
as study week start ...
Need to readjust all things ...
control my emotional ...
learn my mistakes ...
and start to be strong ...


And while I was typing this ..
It's been a year ...
30 Nov ... a memorable day for me ...
but now ...
29 Sept also memorable day for me ,
things seem to repeat as last year...
Just different people ,
different story ,
different reason ...
30 Nov , how are you ?
and 29 Sept, how about you ?

妒忌

Thurs. Sunny . Mood : EMO-ING, Pack-ing heart pieces,. 26 Nov 2009


我曾说过，不在乎，
每当你说起你和他的事，
我天真到认为真的没感觉，
可是每一字，每一句，
原来是这么的... 痛...


每想起你说起他的优点时，
我才发现原来我没什么优点。

你可知道吗？
你轻描淡写的几句话，
就可以像一把,两把，
利刃刺进我的心中。

我哭成了两个人的泪水。
略咸的泪珠，
以及背后代表的意义，
我一辈子也无法忘怀。

心痛

Wed. Little Rainy . Mood : EMO-ING, Better-ing, heal-ing,. 25 Nov 2009

心，
❤,
今天痛了，
突然间的痛。

才发现，
原来一直以来，
对你和他的不在乎，
是如此的... 在乎。


我曾听过人家说，
其中一个最勇敢的事，
就是听着爱的人说她和她爱的人的事。
起初，我以为没这么夸张，
我曾说过，不在乎，
因为每当你说起你和他的事，
你显得特别开心，特别明朗，
我就是喜欢你开心的微笑。
但现在，我才发现，
原来，真的，
心是很痛的。


不过，
我会努力，
看开这一切。
有缘就会在一起，
无缘还是可以做朋友。
朋友们也劝告我，
心领，感激，
我会努力。

心，
❤，
不要再痛了，
好吗？

Getting Well

Tues. Little Rainy . Mood : EMO-ING, Better-ing, heal-ing,. 24 Nov 2009


Hrm ...
Today just finish E.F.M presentation..
quite fine ..
fellow classmate kind of enjoy my presentation..
most important my jokes works..
xD haha ~

And then me , JJ, Yew Mum and Jun Ee,
we went to see academic advisor ..
and Jun Ee keep taking pic and self capture..
=P .. shh.. don't tell her I wrote it here..
XD


Now talk back about my illness..
Erm...now can makan dy..
at least I can eat and can get energized ...
=) ~

now almost fully recover...
just still feel nausea and wanna vomit...
hope can get well fast...
hehe .. ^^


Hope every my friends who sick will recover soon ..
Hope every my friends they can study well and get good result ..
specially SPM, STPM and of course UTAR and other friends .. ^^
and .. Hope every my friends always my friends ... forever and ever ..
=D ~

Vomit and Sick period .

Sun. Little Rainy . Mood : EMO-ING, Sick-ing, Change-ing,. 22 Nov 2009

Hrm ..
I'm in Penang now ..
Back at 2days ago ..
Friday, 5pm-9.30pm train.

Sat,
my uncle fetch me to see doctor.
and got medicine already.
Doctor say just my stomach ,
liver, and .. don't know what name ..
in conclusion is , "Acid overload "...
So I get medicine to "alkaline " the acid ?
LOL ... xD ~
now feeling better.. but still easy to feel hungry..
and keep feel wanna vomit ..
most important feel no appetite to eat..
Sad case ..
still feel uncomfortable but better bit ..


This is the 1st time I back Penang for this semester,
and I had sick seriously and can't hangout with friends.
Hope I can get well soon.
And next time I back can go play with my friend.
^^ .

Just done my English Oral Presentation Slide.
And feel ...
so different ...
seem ... much more comfortable ..
isn't the feeling of accomplishing a task ?
feel better... =)


but yet..
gastric still got bit bit ..
feel wanna vomit bit bit ..
hope can fully recover by today ..
Tomorrow will be a peaceful day .
Happy and healthy day.
Everyday.
Everyone.
=) ~

A Brand New Day Start From Today.

Wed. Little Rainy . Mood : EMO-ING, Regret-ing, Heart Pumping hard . 18 Nov 2009


Today I skipped my whole day class .
I also wondering how can I do that.
I guess the effect of "that" really are big ...
Pumping heart so hard ...
pain .. suffer..


Just now my uncle called me ,
we talk through all these again ...
he is comforting me ...
it makes me feel so warm ...
He said I make the right decision ,
he said I just need time to get through these mess ..
YES, I know it to... TIME ...
I need time to get through ..
I wish , I hope ,
less than 1 week , I'll be fine .
Or , Tomorrow everything will be good ~
Tomorrow Will be a better day.
Everyday will be a brand new day.

Pain and suffer are just temporary,
look through it and get through it,
I'm THE WINNER ~~~~~~~~
ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH ~
PAIN ~ SUFFER ~ ARGH ~

Time,
now just torturing me ...
I miss my family ...
I miss my friend ...
I need someone to comfort me..
I just feel so hopeless ...
Heart so pain ...
brain so blank ...
Someone ..
Save me...

Hope time can pass fast ,
I need to get through this mess fast ..
I need to become back to normal ...
and even better ~~~
and just let this mess become a lesson,
a past for me ,
and never get me down ,
because , I got more important things to do.


My uncle ask me to focus on other important things,
Study , which it's my future , my life.
those money , can earn it back after graduate ,
just a small amount.
Yes, uncle, you are right .
Then now I'm wondering,
why it hunt me so down now ?
I'm thinking ..

And I think ..
maybe this mess interrupting bit,
plus , some personal thing ,
like friendship and love matter in this early sem ...
and ...


since last 1 or 2 weeks ago..
I suddenly feel losing the meaning to live on ..
lost my objective of live ...
somehow ...
don't know why I'm living ...
and in second of though ..
"Commit Suicide "
DUDE ~ everyone sure got think it before..
so do I ..
just for a second ...
then I think of.. " NO WAY "~
IS WRONG ~
My family, my friends ,
would sad for me ...
and it's wrong in term of everything ...
God will also never forgive me if I suicide ...
so , Suicide wouldn't happen ...
But yet ..

I lose the sense of living ..
the meaning of life ...
what should I do ...
Do I seriously need a people to consult me ?
or I need to see doctor already ?
Or just I can't stand off the feeling of loneliness ?
Yes, it's really suffer when alone ...
Actually I know all ..
just need someone to tell me ...
I need accompany from someone ..
friends , family ...

then finally I conclude myself ..
I need family and friends..
I miss them so hard ...
I barely can't breathe ..
I miss you all ...

I don't want to be alone .

Heart pumping hard

Wed. Little Rainy . Mood : EMO-ING, Regret-ing, Heart Pumping hard . 18 Nov 2009

Recently ,
everyday,
Heart pumping hard,
is very hard ,
until every second I can feel it..
it make me feel so tire ...
Heart ,
stop pumping so hard ,
cool down ...
if not ,
I'm hard to do thing liao .


Amen.

Regretful

Tues. Little Rainy . Mood : EMO-ING, Regret-ing, 17 Nov 2009

Last Thursday,
I join a company in Kampar which can earn extra pocket money.
And I know it do will ,
that's why I joined.

But yet,
I found out that it's kind of unfaithful ,
as you need to find people to join,
then you can earn money.
That's mean , I want earn money,
I ask friend join, then they find their friend join.

It's kind of .. well ..
I feel so frustrated ,
and it's so bad to ask friend pay and join,
then I earn money ...

Thus,
after 5 days,
today, I decided to quit.
The money I spent,
and I still can get the product.
So, I take that money as ,
Product + experience + LESSON ~
Most important ...
FREE OF STRESS ~~~~~

These 5 days ,
I felt very stress,
I vomit.. for everyday ..
sometimes more than 1 times a day..
this is me, when I felt stress, I felt wanna vomit ..
because I need to think how to call people join..
how to work plan ..
how to earn money...
thus .. I quit it ~

So,
=) ~
Free of Stress.
Learned a lesson ,
and learn from mistake ,
and it will never be late.

Pray to the lord.
Amen.

失去右手赔左手。

Thurs. Little Rainy . Mood :Think-ing,, Wonder-ing, EMO-ING, 12 Nov 2009

失去了，
还没开始的恋情，
还没筑好的友情。

可能与她以后会渐渐陌生；
但愿与他以后会渐渐熟悉。

赔了夫人又折兵~
两头失败~

我与她之间的大桥，渐渐垮下来了。
原来，我建的桥，只是竹枝，树枝支撑着，
完全禁不起任何风雨，如此的比不上那个，
那个钢骨水泥，高品质的大桥。
真的，我的槟城大桥，
比不上那个伦敦大桥的高贵。

看懂吗？
呵呵呵~
失去右手赔左手。

情绪和思想 の会议

Tue. Rainy . Mood :Think-ing,, Wonder-ing, EMO-ING, 10 Nov 2009

这学期，情绪很不对。
暴躁，懒惰，愚笨？
暴躁， 为小事儿生气，受气度变小了；
懒惰，不读书找借口，比以前懒惰多了；
愚笨？ 应该是不读书才会这样的啦~ 呵呵O(∩_∩)O~


连我本人都不清不楚，
常让情绪左右我的决定，
却让思想关在脑袋牢房里。
情绪失控，是为何？
为事？为人？
都有吧~

学习着，看开；
品味着，失败；
练习着，无奈；
努力着，成功。

近日，事态严重，
情绪失控，无可奈何，
恳求解放，唔友思想，
解开牢房，解放思想。
思想 ＆ 情绪 ，
聊天，开会，商讨。


割舍过去，放下便是回忆，
奋斗未来，有拼便有得赢。
所以，努力着，
寻找自我，寻找着，
灵魂失去的那一个碎片。

请求天主，保佑我，
指引我一道光明之路。
阿门。

古人曰：
心已碎，梦已碎，人生活着还有什么意义……
我曰：
重整心的碎片，寻找新的梦，人生还是要活下去。

了断。

Tue. Rainy . Mood :Think-ing,, Wonder-ing, EMO-ING, 10 Nov 2009

今天，
发生了一些事，
小事，大事。
不过，都影响到我。
不少想法闪过我的脑袋，
不少决定都前来敲门。
似乎，该了断了？

嗯，是的。
每一天都在变，
每一刻都不一样。
我，也做了些决定，
为你，为我，大家都好。

~ Heartless ~ by Kanya West ~
♩♪♫♬

这世界不不曾为你停下1秒钟.
而我却为你原地踏步了1辈子。

9 Nov - Parts of my life

Mon. Cloudy . Mood :Think-ing, Lazy-ing, Wonder-ing, EMO-ING, 9 Nov 2009

Recently ,
still can't figure what make me so moody,
so unstable , and totally blank in my mind.
I was thinking, could it be someone ?
or something ?
Izit about past ? present ? or future ?
that I might ... afraid of ? excited of ?
No idea ...
Currently too many things so blur ...
always sink in a condition that mind is blank ...

Now is already week 4,
Having a Marketing mid-term exam on Saturday,
and a English oral presentation during week 5.
But both of this , I haven't start yet, cool. xD

Now ,
Suddenly think a lot of things ,
maybe not that " a lot " ...
and found out I'm so easy "affected by " other ,
"controlled by" other , " think for " other ,
these all make people think that I'm " over sensitive ".
So , Am I ?
No Idea .
I do admit I'm different,
sometime stubborn,
sometime weird ? maybe .
This all are part of me ,
just there are too many " K Ler Fei " in this world,
like to judge, talk , kepoh kepoh.
So I must remain calm ,
and think , think, think .
I must find back that part of my soul.
" Thinker Soul "

损人需要智慧，被损需要慧根

My Dear Friend - S

Mon. Cloudy . Mood :Think-ing, Lazy-ing, Wonder-ing, EMO-ING, 9 Nov 2009

This post ...
meant to write to a friend ,
although we never meet face to face ,
but yet I treat you sincerely as my close friend.
Remember those day we always chatting ,
through msn , in the phone and text messaging.

But yet, during my semester break , End of Oct,
you said I did something wrong ,
but I totally can't figure what I did ,
I didn't say ur things ,
I didn't do this and didn't do that ,
but I remember that day how you ignore me ...
I do really felt sad .
Because I don't know what is happening and why you not happy on me.
Still yet, you didn't tell me the reason ..

I do consider to find you back to talk about it ,
but I remember that day how you ignore me,
then the day follow how I apologize and seek for reason,
still, I don't get any reply from you.
To my Dear Friend - S ,
I know currently you are busy ,
for study and other things ,
after you read this,
you can reply me after your exam ,
hope that I can know what is going on that time.
and I really felt sorry if I did something wrong,
And lastly,
=) , gambateh for you STPM exam .

朋友，
虽然可以说有很多阶段，
刚遇见的朋友，
刚认识的朋友，
半生熟的朋友，
班级里的朋友，
快要熟的朋友，
差不多熟的朋友，
已经很熟的朋友，
认识久却不熟的朋友，
等等出现在我生活里的朋友。
但愿，我们能以坦相见。
也许我没时间去一个一个经营，
去陪伴，去关心。
不过，我生命力出现过的朋友，
我都不想失去，我想珍惜。
=)

Friendship ... 2

Fri. Cloudy . Mood :Think-ing, Lazy-ing, Wonder-ing, EMO-ING, 6 Nov 2009

Now I'm back to here ...
writing again parts of my story ...
after bad mood since week 1 of this semester ...
Things kind of ... getting better .. ( I think )
and then, something start to be different...
something start to change, which is " changing " .
Example , people.
Friendships ...
Some of these "ships" getting closer ...
Some of these "ships" getting far away ...
means some friends become more closer ..
some others friends become far way ..


Things tend to become different,
but I will use all my effort,
to remain or improve it for the good.
but not to downgrade.
I LoVe all my friends.
I know sometimes I'm busy ,
sometimes I forgot ,
sometimes my times is not enough for all my friends ..
but my friends ,
I treasure each of you , friends.
Parts of my happiness,
parts of my life ,
parts of my soul .
When the time you all with me .

All relationship are build slowly,
just like sewing a sweater ,
need one stitch by one stitch ,
slowly ;
but to collapse these relationship ,
just like tearing the sweater ,
just a blink of eye ,
fast and easy.

Mood Wondering day

Fri. Cloudy . Mood :Think-ing, Lazy-ing, Wonder-ing, EMO-ING, 6 Nov 2009

Hrm ...
It's now end of week 3 of this new semester, Y1S1 ...
As I said I was bad mood since this starting sem ...
Now, is getting better ... sometimes ..
still yet, sometimes easily get piss off ...
mostly by someone ,
maybe by something ,
actually is my thing ...
LOL xD ~


Now my life ..
seem ... " ? " HAR ?
ya... " HAR ? " ... @,@
lost of direction ...
but yet not lost it all completely ..
just know now must get good result for study .
Be a good boy ,
and this and that ,
bla bla bla ,
I know what to do .
=) .

Some more tomorrow going loudary at morning ,
then gonna have breakfast with housemate ...
pray for a cloudy morning until evening ..
just like today, Friday .


And lastly ,
and again ,
Happy Birthday Kin Wai ~
=D

Tagged by MR. Lengzai SINGKIT ~

Sat. Cloudy . Mood :Think-ing, Lazy-ing, BaD MOOD-ing, EMO-ING, 31 Oct 2009

1. 我的大名：黄忠义
2. 我的生日：16-09-90
3. 誰傳給你的：my good friend , Singkit
4. 說出五個好朋友：Travis, X, Jia Hong , Shu Fen, Jun Ee (actually this is sensitive, hopes this wouldn't affect others friends X_X)
5. 生日想要得到什麼禮物：wallet, or watch ( cause broken )
6. 近期開心的是：Erm ...no ?
7. 近期壓力大的是: Money problem
8. 未來想做什麼：A hero maybe ? Wanna be a mature and rich guy .
9. 有沒有喜歡的人：no idea ....
10. 同學會要回去找老師嗎：no
11. 跟誰出去最幸福：With best friends ... true friends
12. 如果你的兩個好友吵架了：see situation
13. 跟情人出去最想去哪: Paris maybe ...
14. 聖誕節要做啥：Hang out with friends and have a nice day ~
15. 最想跟誰過聖誕節：True friends ... =)
16. 有沒有起床气：nope
17. 有幾個兄弟姐妹: 1 sister
18. 最喜歡的一首歌(女生的): Love story - Taylor Swift
19. 最喜歡的一首歌(男生的)：Haru Haru ... Big Bang
20. 喜歡什麼顏色: White
21. 上廁所會不會先沖水：nope.. but flush after done
22. 愛不愛我: eh ... not gay..
23. 喜歡男生還是女生：sure if girl
24. 最想大聲說什麼：ARHHHHHHHHHHHH
25. 半夜敢不敢自己上廁所：ya
26. 上廁所會不會脫褲褲：no, we got zip one ma xD
27. 誰很欠打：Many people lor... ( agree to singkit )
28. 現在很迷什麼：HEROES ~ and "Don't lie to me "
29. 睡相很差：ugly gua... T,T
30. 現在的時間：10.07pm
31. 是否痛恨傳給你點卷的人：no .. XD ~ he is a really nice guy...
32. 體重多少: 68kg something like that
33. 今天天氣：Cloudy
34. 你懷孕了嗎：no way... =,=
35. 你若中樂透最想做什么: use it for investment ..
36. 大學生一定要玩的活動：make new friends, Ice breaking .. BBQ , Yamcha ...
37. 如果能為彩虹添加一種顏色: White ...
38. 你覺得自己性格怎樣：humor,very stubborn, Easy emo ... ...

【點名單】
All who see this ...
especially my Blog friends ... XD

Lost my way ...

Tues. Cloudy . Mood :Think-ing, Lazy-ing, BaD MOOD-ing, EMO-ING, 27 Oct 2009

I'm here ...
feel lost ...
in term of ...
believing people ...
Friendships ...
My life ...
Where is the path should I go ?


I suddenly remember I wrote about friendship's articles ...
a lots of articles about friendship since foundation ...
and I thought those betray , disappointment not gonna repeat ..
I guess now ... it's the same ...
Friendship ...
Friends ...
Maybe Alone is better ...
and seem to suite me ..


My life ...
Am I'm the 1 choosing my path ?
or is the path choose me ?
No idea ...
Now I totally lost my way ...
my passion on study ...
my believe in people ...
I hate these feelings ...
I want to be back normal ...
I want to be self-confidence again ...
with faith and believe ...
like I use to ...


Now I'm gonna think through it all...
hopes gods and angel may lead me some light ..
to get me to the right path and my destiny ...
Pray ...

Everyone of us are different ,
Difference between us make us unique .
We, are unique.
I'm unique.

I shall do what I should do .

Sat. Cloudy . Mood :Think-ing, Lazy-ing, BaD MOOD-ing, EMO-ING, 24 Oct 2009

Hrmmmpppphhhhhh ....
Degree Year 1 Sem2 had started for 1 week ...
every things seem going great ...
but yet..
I still can't "settle" myself ...
My Mood ... My Aggressive ... My Anger ... maybe ?


Totally bad mood ...
Lost controls ...
Anger"s" with 's ...
ARGH !!! ~
I really need to find some way , any way ...
to release my stress ... my bad mood ...
Someone ... just help me ...


Just now I read my aunt email ...
which my relative .. uncles and aunts ..
who sponsor for my living expenses right now in Uni ...
I told them I got PTPTN loans ..
but didn't get full loans .
Yet, I got extra little amounts of money...
I told them I would keep it as pocket money..
might use for vacation with friends or cover other living expenses..
watch some movies ... buy McDonald's ...
as usually I don't get pocket moneys from parents ..
but reject by them, my uncles and aunts.
They want me to use those extra amounts to cover my living expense..
well ... as they said .. my situation is different with other teenagers ...
I borned in "a little" bit different family ...
I can't compare myself with other family's child ...
I know I know...
just hate .. why ...
just wonder ...


I ... ARGH !!!
I ... cried ...
I ... tried ...
I had decided ...
I know what I should do .. AND
I shall do what I should do ...
because my life different with others' life ...


Pray to the lord .
Please bless me .
Amen.