Ba Alif Ba Ya

 Swing and swine

I
Swine

Just a few days ago, our neighbour fret upon a few boars seem to loiter around our neighbourhood. The neighbour was quoted saying:

"habih ubi hok kito tane, nyo make ko bab*"
"tengahari gak napok la family bab* dok bersiar-siar atas jale tar"

I voice out my concern to my husband, for fear the boar might make way into our house area. My husband's reply was:

"toksoh rusim, rumah kita berpagar, bab* buke pandai melompat"

II
Swing

Just this morning, my fear confirmed to be true. My husband leaved for work at 6.15 am every morning, and I usually followed suit at 6.35 am. This morning, as I was ready to start my journey to workplace, the creature was waiting right outside the house, near the gate. As we exchanged stares and glances, we both startled and swing our way back to the opposite direction (luckily).

note: I can tell the difference between boar, pig and swine, just that i chose to use all terms alternately 😂
The most importantly, i'm not swearing, but rather referring to the real animal

Abah

Lets write something here for the memories.

Allah SWT has bestowed our siblings with a very healthy and happy Abah for so many years. Its a very huge and tremendous blessing, you cannot ask for more.

It is Allah's destiny which dictates the fate which has befallen Abah. 

Abah's health started to deteriorate since before Ramadan. Our late Abah claimed to feel an irregularity and difference of his body. His weight was declining so fast and rapid. 

We dont suspect anything weird, just speculating it might be Abah's mistake in estimating the correct dosage for his DM's medication.

But, Abah's weight continued to show deterioration, next we rushed him to nearest clinic (Klinik Primer TB) to conduct blood test and to find out the real cause of his sudden alarming body thinning.

2 weeks duration of the waiting proved to be the the longest wait ever. And the blood test further reveal the real cause. Catastrophic. I remember the date (20th April 2022)

From then on, abah's life changed 360 degrees. Our Kak long tried to get him an appointment with a specialist from USains HUSM. The first consultation merely a simple interview and a few questioning to get a brief overview of the whole abah's situation. 

The next appointment, CT Scan was conducted to measure the real severity of Abah's case.

And the rest was history.

Let me put Abah demise in a chronological order:

24th June 2022

Abah complained of chest pain and excruciating pain. After checking abah's oxigen level and pulse using oximetre, we decided to rush Abah to the nearest hospital. Abah was rushed to HTA that night. I remembered, i was raining heavily outside the ambulance (and in my heart). Abah was half concious. When i called out his name, he answered slowly. 

When the ambulance arrived, the doctor use the best of their expertise to treat Abah. The doctor ask me to gather all of my siblings and be prepared for the worst. My brother and sister was on their way from KL.

at 12 am, my brother arrived and he went straight to hospital to meet Abah. Abah suddenly went lucid and awake. He talked cheerfully and told everyone by his bedside that he's going to recover soon. My sister made a video call and he waved and smiled to her.

at 3pm, abah was transferred to isolation ward. I was in charge of abah's care that night. 

25th June 2022

[I am going to write everything in full of what's happening on this day onward in another post]

3 years of absence not dead yet

My last post was in 2014

Today here i am, writing again, in 2017!!!

Haha
How wide is the time gap, count the year yourself.

So many things has change since my last blogpost, no, not many, simply everything has changed!! Everything

One, i am no longer single, i got married in 2015 to a teacher

Two, i got pregnant and gave birth to a daughter in 2016

Three, i no longer work and reside in Johore, i have moves to the state of my origin, Kelantan

And today, in 2017, my daughter will reached her 1 year old of age tomorrow

See why i havent write for soo longg?
I was busy building life

Now i am back, and i decided to turn this blog to a journal about my child

Hani Nurjannah bte Mohd Hafizul

All is good

I havent been writing much of late. I am imprisoned in between the burden of never-ending works and commitment and also my own inner reluctance to share my life with others.

Life has been truly good to me for this past 3 years, my career started to climbing to the peak, i finished my master in Mathematics Engineering and all else is better than good, great. Some people come into my life and make it wonderful, they are truly godsend.

I finished two English novels and one Malay novel after completing my viva for mas master degree last week, regarding my research entitle 'Groundwater flow and the effect of advection diffusion equation'. Now i can truly and fully focus on the journey of my career and struggle harder to produce more 'A' students to accomodate the country development and growth.

Hoping to see Korea this upcoming November. Once again will be on the tight budget journey with friends and enjoying the last bit of solo life.

That's all i can write about nowadays, my life no longer out of ordinary since i left DEBAT, but it has been extraordinarily great and good.

Alhamdulillah, Syukur Ya Allah

Ramadan Kareem

~Nadiah Che Rahim

Couch

Today, i sat on a couch, staring emptily at the television, without turning it on first. It went on for about half and hour, then tears slowly running down my cheeks.

My body started shaking from the uncontrollable sobbing, it is making me tired, so i lie down, on the couch. Clearly the couch cannot accommodate my height, i was in a curling position for about two hours. The first hour i lie sideways facing the television, for another hour, i just staring blankly at the rotating blades of the fan.

I got so much to mourn, i got so much to get upset over, wasting my time on a couch seems like the only remedy to cure my worn out heart.

I am tired. tired of waiting, tired of all the excuses, tired over shamelessly enjoying other's happiness, without any prospect of getting mine.

I wasn't really sleeping, sleeping is a luxury i cannot afford now.

The clock is ticking, my life is wasted by every second passed.

I just wanna stay in this couch

Kala ini

And here i am, alone, as i always was, as i always am, hopefully not as i always will be.

Alone, can be defined as having nobody else as company, or having no one else in close proximity of your surrounding, alone can be associated with the lack of discernible sound or meaningful communication. Alone also always gets related to the awful feeling of sadness and unwanted. The feeling of loneliness is the product of discrimination and rejection from others.

Is alone an option?

Yes, alone is an option. Because i chose to be alone.

I could have company, if i want to, i could be together with someone,if i wish to, i could be surrounded by people, if that is what i really desired.


But no, i chose to be alone, i could settle down long time ago, the offer had come to me, the proposal of marriage had come knocking at my door of feelings.

But i chose to be alone.

"Memuja bintang di langit, sampai terhina sinar lampu kalimantang, sedang bintang kekal di langit, cuma lampu sedia menemani"

:)

Lelaki

Kerna homo sapiens ini terbahagi dua

Satu jenis pembawaan dan juga lawannya

Dua yang memerlukan tetapi berbeda

Konflik memisahkan tapi perlu bersama

Jurang sifatnya dan hubungan hati adalah jambatannya

Dan aku ini dalam sebuah kembara

Kembara pencarian pelengkap rencana

Peneman hidup dan pelindung selama lama

Sudah banyak kuhadap pelbagai jenisnya

Dari yang bersifat separa kepada yang gagah perkasa

Satu persatu datang lalu dan juga menyapa

Ada yang menawan ada yang membuat gundah gulana

Ada yang terlebih tua dan juga ada yang sebaya

Ada yang kuluka kan dan ada yang meninggalkan luka

Bilakah pemilihan ini dapat aku akhirkan?

Atau mungkin cuma diriku yang tidak terpilih?

Teringin mau memaki

Terkadang dalam menjalani hidup ini, ada satu saat yg kamu terasa amat amat diperlakukan dgn sgt sgt salah.
Tp aku harus mengingatkan diri, aku ini org yg decent, soft spoken, sabar, dan sopan
Jangan memaki, walau keinginan itu tinggi

Moga

Moga didekatkan yang jauh,dirapatkan yang renggang, dihuraikan yang kusut, ditenangkan yang serabut, dipermudahkan yang susah, dijernihkan yang keruh, dimaniskan yang pahit, disihatkan yang sakit

Moga...:)

Kesihatan, Doktor kata aku Low Blood Pressure, agak lemah utk 2-3 hari ni, kena makan byk dan yg sihat, serta tak boleh stress

Maka agak kuranglah tawa dan perbualan ku dgn rakan rakan kebelakangan ini, moga mereka tidak tersinggung

Moga pulih seperti biasa


p/s: entri yg kt bawah ni bertujuan utk menang tiket ke legoland, kalah kot? huhuhu...:(

Maybank-Legoland Bloggers Contest

Why Maybank should give me tickets to Legoland

As a Mathematics lecturer, teaching in an a-level college, i lead life full with figures and calculation, graph and diagram, theorem and formulas, lemma and corollary, also i got surrounded by a lot of formulas, all yearned to be proved and verified, i owe my students lengthy explanation about calculus and statistic, algebra and sometimes even simple arithmetic needed to be re-explain over and over.

My work starts at 8am and ends at 5pm, for which the 8 hours period always seems so short and insufficient. Too much consultation and extra classes needed to be given special care and attention to catch up with the fast syllabus. The situation worsen as some of students are unable to keep track with the learning, they are having difficulties to comprehend the content of Mathematics.

One day in lecture

It was one serene Monday, 8 am, all the students enter the lecture halls wearing the 'monday blues' look. Slowly and with hesitation taking their places scattered and at random. The lecture halls can occupy approximately 200 students, but there was only 140 of them. There was plenty of empty seats here and there. They tend to sit in group base on clique or friends they feel most comfortable to be with. Girls will sit among them and boys, as usual fancy seats at the back, sitting together with the other boys.

The class fell silent as i start to switch on my laptop and preparing my teaching aids. I can sense the mood of the crowd getting even gloomier when i display the difficult theorem to be proved, continuation from yesterday. As always, i will ask if any of them already able to prove the theorem, none of them raise up their hand. One or two boys at the back look as if they are actually coming to class sleepwalking, the actual person still sleep soundly on bed, only the body involuntarily coming to class.

The class was a passive as it could possibly be, i was thinking something should be done turn the atmosphere to become more jovial and enjoyable to promote better learning.

Promptly, i gave instruction:

All stand up!

Then i played a video featuring cartoon dancing merrily along with a happy song to cheer them up. They crowd started to look alive.

Then i said, okay i you want to, you can sing along! Then i played world current no 1 hit, 'Oppa Gangnam Style'



The class continued 10 minutes later

After class, some of the students came and see me, claiming the class today was so different compared to previous. They complaining i was too serious and stressful while teaching. They can't adapt with my teaching style. They demanded for me to change and try to understand teenagers. They like Mathematics, but they need a better environment to study it.

Our chat brought us to a topic of a new sensation in the country, newly built Legoland, a sophisticated theme park suited for people from all walks of age.

They hinting of wanting to hang out with me there. I decided a good teacher should be the one who can build good rapport with the students.
Maybe hanging out with them at the Legoland Themepark is a good jump start towards a better teacher-students relationship!.

Aktiviti saya hari ini

Its been so long since i last updated anything in diary or journal fashion
When i first blog, all i wrote about was how my day started ( the moment i wake up) to the time it ended (the moment when i went to bed)
Lately, my blog seems so dull and i am becoming more mature which is equal to being secretive
Perhaps i'd finally learnt and recognize the boundary of sharing
The principle of sharing in my opinion is, you display what is of mutual interest of the majority
Your kind of story like what you eat or went that day perhaps only catch fancy of 2 or 3 people
And that 2 or 3 people can be informed via text,BBM or whatsapp

*note: i never use BBM and whatsapp, i dont even know how it looks like

But today i am feeling particularly generous to share my life's detail, for today:
*Note: Inappropriate activities such as my activities in toilet etc wont be divulge..haha

Today 17th of September 2012, i woke up at 6.00, performing my Subuh Prayer, then switch on my laptop, i log in to my facebook account 'Nadiah Che Rahim', replying comments about last nite status, liking a few status-es, like a few photos, sharing a few infos

The i logged out of my FB, get back on the bed, first sitting in a natural position, then lying
Then i stare at the ceiling fan, obviously daydreaming
i slowly drifted back to sleep, then when i finally woke up its 8.30, hungry
Hastily went to the sink, to wash my face and brush my teeth, not showering though
I got out of bed, walking lazily and slowly to the kitchen, opening the fridge, grab a few raya cookies still remaining
Went to the living room, open out all the windows for some fresh air
Then decided that morning i wanted to cook something
I've been craving for 'ketupat sotong'
Then i remembered, i do not have the required ingredient which is the pandan leaves
Grab my car keys, rushing downstairs, put my key to iginition, drove to the P4, located near to the Director's residential, bringing together a knife.
I cut off two slices of pandan leaves, enough
Went back home,take a shower
Then went to d kitchen, getting all the squid i cleaned last night out of the fridge ans started inserting glutinous rice into those squids.
Then i submerged all those squids into coconut milk, adding some salt and huge bulk of gula melaka, diulangi HUGEEE BULK OF GUULAAA MELAKAAA

and tadaaaaa

Siap pun ketupat sotong!

Sebab buat sendiri, memang cukup menepati selera lah, iaitu, mesti MANIS
Sebuku kot gula Melaka tu masuk dlm tu, sbb Tangkak dkt dgn Melaka kan, gula Melaka mudah dpt
Hambikk, byk giler letak

Sedapp, maniss...*kalau org yg bukan Kelantanese makan berpinar lah mata..haha

*ok malas dh nk taip,  lagipun dh lupa dh buat ape ntah harini...:p
*ooo, maybe ptg tu ada main badminton sikit

Azam

Setiap pagi aku bangun dengan azam seperti berikut:

#Mau solat wajib di awal waktu

#Mau bangun solat malm

#mau baca Al-Quran sekurang kurang 1 muka sehari

#Mau berpakaian menutup aurat dengan lebih sempurna

#Mau lebih rajin mentelaah pelajaran

#Mau kurangkan makan nasik (haha)

Tapi hari hari yang berlalu, masih tidak tertunaikan, moga aku masih hidup esok hari...

Jiwa

Perasaan yang hebat membara, tapi tersimpan cuma, akhirnya pudar dan tawar dengan sendiri, setelah lelah menanti dan menahan diri, hati diikat kemas kemas seakan dipunyai, akhirnya hambar kini~

MIdnight in Malaya

I really like this song, the rhythm is similar to sudirman song, "Indahnya Alam"
i think its melody is very touching

Ok, Bulan puasa~

Salam Ramadhan

Less is more

Teman, ku lebih menyukai kamu dalam keadaan serba kekurangan dan ketidakcukupan

Kerana kesusahan kamu membuka ruang dan peluang untuk aku membantu

dengan itu terjalin lah satu perhubungan yang berdasarkan kasih sayang dan keikhlasan

Teman aku menyukai kamu dalam keadaan kamu tidak punya apa-apa

Kerna waktu itu kau punya banyak waktu untuk berkongsi cerita

Dan banyak benar yang perlu kau luahkan kerana hidupmu yg banyak duka

kerana dalam kekurangan dan kesusahan itu, aku tak mungkin kau akan lupa

Teman, di saat kau punya segala gala

aku rasa makin jauh....

W&S

Perjalanan pergi UPM every weekend, dari Tangkak:

(darab 2)

minyak: RM30 

Tol: Rm 18.40 (jika exit Kajang utk pergi rumah Kak Long+RM1.00 utk tol sg Balak) atau 18.70 (jika exit UPM)

Penginapan: Free of charge (tidur rumah Kak Long di Kajang)

Makan: cuma sometimes lunch dgn kawan2 di UPM, mostly free of charge (Kak Long masak)

Kelajuan: 120km/h (ocassionally), average cuma 100km/h (try to maintain or reduce speed)

Teman: Ikha, pensyarah MMU Mallaca, ambil dia biasanya di Tol ayer Keroh dan pegi UPM together-gather & rakan sejawat Miss Oh

Duration: 1 year and half lagi (err kalau lulus la dan boleh meneruskan pengajian)

Content: Mathematic dan Statistic yg agak sakit kepala

Work and study?

I prefer work

note: Kak Long inspire me a big deal, she's a doctor, married with 4 kids, but manange to finish her master to become specialist, she, of all the hardships CAN, i CAN too..=)

Self reward

Nk hadiah kan sesuatu utk diri sendiri sempena habis semester 1 pengajian master (baru habis satu sem, tu pun asik nk berenti je)..my first few choices were:

1.ipad
2.Tab
3.Samsung S3
4.Handbag (nk yg harga lebih sedikit dr yg biasa beli)
5.PS3/Xbox/PSP

Sebagai insan yg berbelanja berhemah (sbb duit tak banyak sgt...haha), byk pertimbangan perlu dilakukan sebelum membeli sesuatu,

Finally, i decided to buy myself


A TV (Toshiba LCD, 32 inch)

Murah je kot, x sampai seribu (RM900++)
dpt dgn lebih murah sbb me and my friends pegi sama2
My friends bought huge refrigerator+TV LED 40 inch+aircond
So beli brg byk, kami bargain harga lebih sikit
(sekali lagi, perbelajaan berhemah sbb duit x byk)

 a lot less money compared to purchasing ipad or Tab

Masalah nya, TV yg dibeli tu seakan x ada fungsi, siap dh ditutup dgn kain, hari2 berlalu ia cuma direnungi (tanpa suis terpasang)

Ia, secara literalnya aku lihat sahaja TV tersebut, tanpa hidupkan nya (tidak menonton)

sememangnya kurang berminat menonton TV

Considering utk subscribe to Astro for  few days later kot, maybe akan lebih berminat utk menonton TV

Silap2 ia akan dihantar balik kg je, hadiahkan pd Ma dan Abah..

Blogging: a forgotten hobby

That's why it is no longer popular

All i wanted to express actually, already completely written in the title

Thats why facebook is so popular, you are allowed to write a single simple sentence, to tell the whole story

Compared to composing lengthy essay on blog, so leceh lah

;p

Motorcycle

Kamen Rider Black has two motorcycle, Battle Hopper and Road Sector. But Kotaro Minami has another motorcyle ( i dont know what it is called)

Since i was a kid, i always fantasized about riding one of the motorcycle, my dream and my favourite always will be

ROAD SECTOR...i want it want it want it want it want it want it want it!!!

*note: bawak motor pun tak tau, lesen pun xder

                                                                        Road Sector

Motorcycle Kotaro Minami

                                                                           Battle Hopper



Pergh, nak 1, nak 1 nak 1, nak 1, nak 1 nak 1

~Tak sangka perangai mcm ni lg walaupun pengajian dh sampai master...kahkahkah

Sigh...

I am way too grown up to give up a struggle on trivial  matters

sod ba ro

Advance

Mak tepon, katanya "baju raya dh ada, jgn pandai2 beli sendiri"

Dari kecik sampai aku dh keje umur 26, baju raya aku masih lg di bawah kekuasaan my mother
Ma mmg jarang percaya dgn pilihan aku, and i always agree with her choice

Tp, ma mmg advance lah, puasa pun belum,
puasa ganti pun belum habis

hahaha

Family Potrait

i dint have much knowledge about photography, but i do know it captures not just image, but moment when it was taken.

It might not be genuine, most people will smile when the camera was directed to them, masking the real emotion and feeling.

And i believe, the person who has the strongest 'chemistry' with you, is the person you feel most comfortable to be in the picture with, along with the thought 'i care not how i look', because when you're here, nothing matters.


This theory might not apply to everyone, but for me, yes, it is.

A good picture displays honesty, no fake posing, or an attempt to look cute, no false act or deliberate display of good looks.

Genuine.

And if i can vote, gambar terbaik bukan gambar yg menerima 'like' berjuta (jika ia dimuat naik ke FB), yg memaparkan kecantikan/kacak seorang manusia.

And i think, i really like photos of family, any family.

Sangat menyukai foto seorang kawan, dlm byk2 gambar, i like this one the most
apa yg dipaparkan?

Cuma gambar dia dan keluarga yg baru dia bina, bertiga, dia, suaminya dan anak nya, gambar dia (bertudung labuh)+suaminya (baju biasa berkopiah)+anaknya tersenyum...

BIASA in all respect

Lebih cantik dari gambar fancy couple pergi all those fancy and expensive places....

Menyukai yg biasa

Okay sekian sessi komentar gambar org..haha

Not a lot of things

I'm about to ramble, a lengthy one,

But attempting to put it into writing, it all suddenly gone, disappear into thin air

Vanished ( ini bukan merujuk kpd jenama cecair penghapus kotoran pd pakaian..;p)

Not a natural writer i guess, not a skilled mathematician, not a talented musician, not a lovable lecturer, not having ways with people, not great at art, not capable of retaining interest, not a-lot-of-things

Maybe thats why......

I dont have the slightest comprehension regarding social behaviour, more than what can be observed and perceived by the naked eye.

To my exclusive point of view, i fathom the social set to be the description of groups, used to classify people in your life base on certain shared traits and mutual characteristics. These sets arent mutually exclusive and possibbly overlapping one another.

People in my life boleh diklasifikasikan seperti di bawah:

1. Every weekdays i mix and mingle with my colleague, they are one group of very mathematically inclined people with very intense sense of humour. Comes from all walks of society background and the age ranging from 25-52, this is the diversed group united by one aim:

WE WANT AS MANY 'A' STUDENTS IN MATHS AS POSSIBLE EACH SEMESTER, OR ITS HEADACHE!..:)

2. Every weekend i met my classmates from the Master of Applied Statistics i am currently taking in UPM, most of them are in the same situation as mine, working+studying, many of them are even married with kids, toddler, infant, we all had hard time juggling between studying+assignment+job+family (for the married case).
But some of them are full time students with no other commitment but studying ( i envy them!)
These are another coolest people with rather severe obsession to Mathematics and Statistic, equipped with really entertaining sense of humor..;)

3. Once in a blue moon, i'll visit my juniors when they participate in the debate tournament in any universities nearby, i will met the ex debaters. This groups are my past, many people in it no longer give any significant meaning in my life except for the updates i read about them on facebook, or occasion accidental stumble over elsewhere.
But my ex teammates from KDBM Upsi remains my best friend, i think for life..eg: Siti Habibah, Halimatul Saadiah..i love them..:)

4. My ex school mate, my childhood friend, we met again mainly thru facebook and started to re kindle the long lost communication. Originating from the same background we have no problem to re ignite the long absence warmth and closeness which was once there. we even met during Hari Raya.

Forget me not

Clock ticking , night getting older, a few moment has passed for today to be considered ended, a new day has begun

Still packing a few things, will travel back to Kajang tomorrow, classes as usual in UPM on weekend, a weekend routine i have come to get used to.

Attending lectures on weekend makes me miss out many of my friends activities, sometimes, i felt like robot, not real, programmed, and controlled. Worst, i felt forgotten.

These are sacrifice, and its deemed as one sacrifice i am most willing to make

I love studying...^_^

...................

Perpisahan

Dia pergi, meninggalkan ruang kosong dalam rutin hidupku, dan hatiku.

Bukan perpisahan yang kekal abadi, tetapi lebih kepada suatu perubahan yang amat meninggalkan kesan di hati, tuhan sahajala yang mengerti.

Ucapan terima kasih dan selamat tinggal, sangat sangat memilukan, penafian kepada pertanyaan samada ku bersedih atau tidak.

Menangis, cukup sekadar di dalam hati, jika ada yg memerhati


Are u sad?

Sad is an understatement, i felt as if my world is falling apart

Classesssssssssssssssssssssssss

Setelah sekian lama permohonan melanjutkan pengajian diluluskan, defer punye defer, semangat sekejap ada sekejap tiada, malas jgn cerita, akhirnya, i decided to risk it all and pursue my study in Master of Applied Statistic, UPM.

Background undergrad dlm Maths Education, bukan nya truly and purely Statistic adalah satu cabaran yang agak mencabar kesabaran untuk selongkar semula semua buku berkaitan Statistic yg pernah dihadap suatu ketika dahulu, dan baca semula content yang ingat ingat lupa

Luckily, mengajar Maths peringkat pre-u memberi kemahiran untuk manipulasi algebra dan teknik2 kalkulus, walaupun pengetahuan statistic ku agak terbatas, tp kemahiran dlm basic calculus membantu utk memahamkan derivation derivation dan proof proof yg merupakan asas kot, dlm course ini

So far, i manage to understand everything taught in lecture, tp x tau lah bila course sudah proceed dalam masa 2-3 bulan and next, will i still be able to catch up?

I still am, teaching

A masters degree is something me myself (and my parents) really wanted me to have, and i am determined to fulfill it.

*Dan moga ada lagi perkhabaran2 baik along the way...amin..:)

Sempurna

Just how much i always wanted to be liked for who i really am
That's just how much i always loved everybody else for who they really are
I never really looked at people like they looked at themselves in the mirror
Kindness always equals to beautiful
And the otherwise is just opposite to beautiful
Who dares to deny the great god's skill of creating
Every and each of HIS creation are great
You just have to see more than how you always see
Instead of seeing with eyes, try to see with heart

If everyone's just try to be less judgmental
If only everyone can be so generous to accept flaw
World will  be a better place to live

~NNCR (5.48 pm)

Selalu ada masalah utk cari idea utk tulis tajuk selepas tulis sesuatu entri

When i was young, i never needed anyone
I never feel the need to be known
praised nor appeased
Neither was i felt the need to be respected
nor was i felt the need to be recognized
and approved
of every single deed
All by myself
I'm fine
All by myself
I'm content
All by myself
I'm felt suffice
Maybe all this growing up
has altered either
me
or
my surrounding
or both, and now
all by myself
dont wanna be
all by myself
dont wanna be
anymore~

What am i after
Fear creeping over
I lives with insecurity
I lives with greed
which i proudly claim as ambition
What had i became?
Really~

Lyrics: Ku mahu kau tahu

Di sudut termenung jauh
Mengenangkan nasib kita
Kita miliki separuh
Berbentuk hati cinta namanya

(Chorus)
Walau kau jauh
Ku sentiasa menunggumu
Inginku imbas kembali memori
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/h/hujan/ku_mahu_kau_tahu.html ]
Walau kau jauh
Ku berjanji kan terus tunggu
Dipisah lautan biru

Ku mahu kau tahu
Aku kan terus menunggu

Jangan pernah sekali kau buang
Seperti cinta ini yang terbuku
Akan bersemi jua

(Chorus)

Terus menunggu
Kita kan bersatu
Terus menunggu
Ku mahu kau tahu

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/h/hujan/#share

Lesson 22: Applications to Business and Economics

View more presentations from Matthew Leingang

Perihal mengkritik

Since my free time seems abundant (iyer nadiah? confirm takde kerja2 tertangguh? confirm free?)

err, think again...okay kejap lagi sy buat, but 

i'd like to jot down my review of most recent movies i watched:

(okay another post laces with grammatical error and kesalahan tatabahasa yg sengaja dan tidak disengajakan)

Twilight

The only consolation of this

ridiculous-make-no-sense a group of very very good looking vampire deep in love movie is

= the handsome Edward Cullen and Jacob Black

Thats it, other than that, i fell asleep after 15 minutes watching

So if u hate it so much, why did u watch the movie??

First, as already mentioned above, because of Edward Cullen and Jacob Black

Second, its a social obligation to watch movie which strike fancy of the majority in a group to avoid socially awkward label

(ia adalah satu tuntutan sosial untuk menonton cerita yg digemari oleh majoriti dalam kumpulan rakan2 kamu, supaya kamu tidak tersisih)

Aku Bukan Tomboy

I didnt plan to watch this movie, for i have no obsession over Awan Dania, Adnan Sempit or Diana Denielle (betul ke eja) ex

( well you-know-who i referred to as Awan Dania, Adnan Sempit and Diana Denielle's ex)

But it was the perfect coincidence, i was torn between my promise to treat my niece and nephew to movie and my allergy to what seems like crap.

Sudah berjanji hendak belanja anak2 sedara tengok wayang, tiada cerita lain yg sesuai utk tontonan kanak2 melainkan movie ini sahajalah

But i do have a few other choices:

1.Real Steel ( i already watched this)

2. An English movie with obscene poster depicting a man and woman in a position which seems like tangle on a couch..(Despite the controversial description, its actually nothing more than comedy, what were you thinking..hahaha)

3. Lupa

4.Lupa

Okay, thats all

Tragic post

Undescribable, this feeling is

Repeated failure can result to cowardice, fear of failing again and again, same embarrasing and hurtful moment re enact and re occur

Damn of what they said of courage and bravery, its all had extinct long time ago, longer than i manage to retain in my memory

And since then, confidence had been shattered so badly, it crumpled beyond repair, any dream deemed as beyond reach

Any attempt of recovering is none but another waste of time, useless and utter idiosyncrasies

Semua nya sudah hancur kan

Alone again (naturally)

Since i am bored, and i have no one to talk to (currently), i am motivated to update my blog.

Being alone is not entirely pathetic (but i have to admit, part of it, really is, pathetic)

Being alone gave you time to be in your own thought and reflect your past. And today i really am on my own, in the perfectly enjoyable solitude of my own company, and it gave me a few thought:

1.Person of your dream always seems better than people in reality because in your dream, you get to choose what kind of quality you want in a person

But you forget, people in your reality is way better that the person in your dream, because, they are, REAL, not imaginary.

2. Its difficult to forget people you like once, the memory is torturing, simply because

You only select pleasant memory to be preserved, next time you look back, try to remember the unpleasant and hopefully

You will, forgive and forget

3. In our life, we will regret thing we didn't do more compared to what we did

Berlari

Last saturday was epic, it was the day i overcame my fear of 'participating in sport event' and broke my own record of 'no-sport-never'.

It wasn't purely deliberate of course, i was accidentally and coincidentally happen to be at the place where everyone else were either pregnant, too old and too sick, hence not fit to represent mathematics unit in the running competition, here how the conversation on that day went.

My friend: NNCR, i had put your name in the list of runner

Me: What?!!!

My friend: NNCR, you have to, we are short of athlete now, everyone else is either pregnant, too old or too sick, you are neither, it deemed you as the fittest person to run

Me: I'm SICK laaa, i'm not feeling well, sakit kakiii!!!!!!!!!!(tiba-tiba)

(to be continued)...(malas nk menaip tetiba..)

lagu ni mmg best giler

Aku tak tau kenapa aku sukerr sgt lagu ni


http://youtu.be/rq3gay15UjM


hahaha, aper la klasik nya aku ni

Dikenang jangan, disebut jangan

Its raining in Tangkak
and in my heart
my vision went bleak 
tears steadily rolling down  my cheeks 

p/s: (Catatan atas buku Matematik di satu hari hujan lebat di Tangkak, dan aku mengantuk nk pegi kuliah...haahhaaha)

Close your eyes

we close our eyes when we sneeze, yawn, and sleep (of course)

Sometimes we do close our eyes, to open our heart, to feel, we tend to close our eyes when we pray, to focus and centralize, directing entire thought to the said wishes.

When we try to visualize distant memory, we close our eyes and think, raking our brain

dan 2 lagu yg aku post kt entries below both mentioned about closing your eyes when you...............

we never learnt enough

Those who weren't fascinated and and intrigued by the power of wisdom lives life of troglodyte.

It was a long time wish and long time over due also, for me to pursue my study to another level, in fact,

when i was first set foot to UPSI for my first degree, i'd been dreaming of studying Master of Statistic afterward. (Think and plan ahead kann..) hehe

The flaw in the plan (cehh, ini ayat Harry Potter) was the fact that i am a government servant who hasn't fully confirmed in my service and i need to be working at least one full year before the permission for study to be granted.

i dont intend to apply for any kind of scholarship whatsoever, because then i need to commit to whoever given the scholarship, i dont intend to apply for any loan either, because i just hated being indebted financially.

And i look forward to advance my career, though one of the senior lecturer said:

"pursue your education for the sacred purpose of loving the wisdom, not for promotion, salary increment or advancement"

Whatever, i will do what i wanted to do, and i'll do it best!

Aberowen

I never heard of this place before, until recently i became obsessed with my new book 'Fall of Giants'.

The place setting in the novel is in Aberowen (about 35 %). It was in year 1914, Aberowen was the town which was inhabited by coal miners and their family. The town witnessed the rise of the oppressed coal miners to claim for the right to fair working regulation and better pay.

But the administration of the coal mine refused them the claim, and as a result, immigrant from Russia was brought into Aberowen to replace the miners who were on strike.

i read too much of this book, one night i dreamt of Aberowen

I dreamt i pursue my study in Aberowen, i even drove my yellow Kelisa during the misty rainy day in Aberowen...
what the~

DEMAM

Its seasonal, often struck when the hot temperature scorch your internal body system, disrupting every normal operation going on in there...

Demam, memang SEKSA, tp aku syukur kerana:

1) Ini lah sahaja penyakit paling teruk aku pernah diuji, cuma demam, dan itu pun cuma setahun 2 kali (biasanya), syukur Ya Allah

2) dan lain-lain ajaran yg mengatakan mengapa kita perlu sabar dengan penyakit

tapi aku DEMAM, dan bila demam aku mahu makan macam macam (dan bukan bukan).

haha

That's just how life is

i have long accepted the fact that's just how life is, some people get everything, some people left with nothing

Dont be sad, that's just how life is

I'm Backkkk

To all Tangkak Folk and Ledang folk

Including whatever-creature-on Gunung Ledang

And i heard this song (lagu rakyat Pahang):

Walinong la yang Sari
Puteri yg cantik
Datang lah dr puncak Gunung Tahan
Puncak Gunung Ledang
Gunung la Banang

too

I'm Backkk, i'm backkkk to Daerah Ledang

appreciate your-everything, it might be your last~

People never appreciate things they found to be common, readily available and abundant.

People seek and value thing which are rare, scarce and insufficient above all.

This is a natural instinct of almost all ordinary humankind

You can add up value to things when you said, 'this is the last one, no more of these available after this'

The same theory can be applied to life:

"this is one last meeting, there will be no more of you and me after this"

"this is the last packet of salt left, if u want to flavor your cook after this, you will have to use seawater"

"this is the last letter i wrote, hoping to hear from me no more after this"

the last meeting, last packet of salt and the last letter (refer above), will be valued more and more simply because it will be the last, no more after...

That's the case if we knew its the last, what if we doesn't know..

What if the conversation you had with the favourite people of your lifetime is the last, and you dont know it, because you can't predict what's gonna happen next.

A lot of things are unpredictable, appreciate your-everything, it might be your last~

diri sendiri

Di dalam kelas, aku cenderung memberi perhatian kepada pelajar paling senyap dan paling skema, duduk di sudut paling jauh dalam kelas, selalu menundukkan pandangan, bimbang disoal, dan nampak janggal dalam pergaulan dengan teman-teman sekelas


Kerna pelajar jenis ini selalu mengingatkan aku pada seseorang; diri sendiri.

Right through my window

this is one ridiculous and unproductive hobby of mine; i love to stand right beside the window and stare at the sky, i can do this for hours, without as much as sighing.

this is therapy

I prefer doing the hobby when i was at tall building during rainy day. watching the bead of water descending the sky is like  looking at the gift from god to all universe. (rain can making plant grow etc)

Right through my window

Alam Semulajadi

I just got back from Pontian for induction course two days ago. It was a short course (shortest so far), 3 days filled with mere talk and talk and talk. No sports, no discussion, not even Q & A session.

it officially update and mapped another part of Johor i visited, Pontian.

Its been a year of my residency in Johor, and i never been to JB, so far  the places i visited only Batu Pahat and Muar, thats it. I frequent Malacca once a week for movie and shopping because Tangkak is located at the border of Johore-Malacca.

I really appreciate the beautiful and picturesque scenery of the beaches at Pontian, i love it

What's worth more to appreciate than the nature? ~

2010/2011~That would be ALL~~

Tamat sudah pengajian matrikulasi pelajar sesi 2010/2011. Meninggalkan kenangan yg berbagai, pahit, manis, kelat, semua ada, catatan:

Adat, pelajar gemar memberikan komen kepada pengajar, ada yang berbentuk pujian malah ada yang bersifat kritikan (membina), dan kadangkala lebih kepada mengampu. Al maklum, markah mereka di tangan siapa (atas dasarnya, bukan bermegah dengan hak). Catatan komen pelajar yg paling terkesan di hati:

1."Miss terlalu serius ketika mengajar, sila banyakkan senyum dan lebih ceria di dalam kuliah"

2."I really like your cool style while teaching"

3." Miss terlalu banyak senyum ketika mengajar"

4."Your english is too great, saya tak faham"

5."miss mengajar terlalu cepat"

6. "miss ceria ketika mengajar bab 1,2, dan 3, dan murung ketika mengajar bab 4 dan 5"

Many of it left me baffled

Some of the comment contradict one another, basically it cancels the opposing factor and restore my style to its natural state.

Catatan mengenai personaliti yg menarik perhatian:

1.Ada seorang pelajar, yg setiap hari mamakai songkok Johor ( songkok yg tinggi), setiap hari menyanyi lagu negaraku dengan penuh semangat, di barisan paling depan, segala-gala mengenai diri nya melambangkan semangat, bukan sahaja sewaktu menyanyi, malah sewaktu belajar, selalu di barisan paling depan dengan pandangan mata nya yg kadangkala buat aku risau; sebab terlalu tajam dan menikam, haha ( melambang kesungguhan belajar, tidak tidur walau sesaat dlm kuliah)

2. Ada seorang pelajar, yg setiap hari rambutnya terpacak hasil bantuan gel sekilo, duduk di barisan paling belakang, yang selalu buat aku risau kerana pandangan matanya selalu sayu (mengantuk), suaranya yg selalu sendu (mengantuk) dan notanya yg bersih berseri (mengantuk dan tidak menyalin nota).

Rakaman memori 2010/2011...that would be all~

NNCR

always the child at heart

I was conversing with my colleague about plans we had on upcoming luck rumoured to come:

W: I planned to spend the money in some property, i am planning into buying a house and looking forward to settle down soon

A: I will treat the money as a foundation to start a bussiness to generate more money

D: The money will goes to my wedding preparation

M: I will use it as a downpayment to buy a car

DY: I'm thinking of serious investment to secure stable monthly income

W, A, D, M , and DY: How bout you Nadiah, what is your plan?

Me: I'm thinking of buying PS3...

(silence)

Everything will be granted true with doa

I always wish to see them in a flesh, even from afar, in complete silence and lack any greeting

I just really wanted to see them, because they are very closely related to a person i really adore

So i make a wish in doa, not just after every solat i perform, but in every second i can remember, i will pray

Then, finally i saw them

And i think its suffice to sustain my happiness for another million years to come

Optimis

Hidup perlu berfikiran positif, optimis

Optimis jangan melulu, jangan terlebih

namun, optimis yg jitu datang dari keyakinan pada ALLAH SWT yg satu

1,2,3, and 4

1
Saw it, then fall for it, one rendezvous, and thats it

2
Arguments and self defense, constant guessing and thats how it ends

3
One minor glitch, and everything went straight to the ditch

4
long time sowing, mood swing, and its gone like wind, back its coming

Weltschmerz

Once the arrogant female, once very powerful gale, now just one singing nightingale, longing for minstrel to write a song for another fairytale, shrouded by fine veil, misery is compulsory to conceal.-NNCR

Himmlisch ist's, wenn ich bezwungen

Meine irdische Begier

Aber doch wenn's nicht gelungen

Hatt' ich auch recht hubsch Plaisir!

(How blissful when i master my earthly wants. Should I fail in my effort, I have nevertheless thoroughly enjoyed my self- Johann Strauss Opera)

Once an arrogant female, means forever so, even though when she was the one left with nothing

Because when she has nothing, she has nothing to lose..

Di ambang sore

And i bet its just too much to get people to have the same liking as mine

Last week i purposely share a movie which i love so much with  my students. I was hoping they will like it and give constructive comment on the theme and values

Something we can discuss of

However, to my dissapointment, they gave me negative commentaries, it went:

" Sgt bosan cerita yang cikgu tayangkan tu, BI dia susah difahami, dan terlalu banyak bercakap, pelakon nya bosan dan tak popular, kisah nya pun saya tak faham"

" Jgn tayang lagi la cikgu cerita tu.."

"Cikgu tengok ye cerita mcm tu?"

" Sy tengok movie tu dan rasa stress"

(mereka mmg jujur dan laser, ibarat pendebat)

And i started to wonder, whether my 24 year old taste is considered too old for them, 18 years old teen

But i bet it had nothing to do with my age, because when i was 18, i was already into everything old, ancient, and rustic.....haha

Lagu lama, buku lama..etc..( tp bukan org lama, as rumours circulating..haha)

And i bet its just too much to get people to have the same liking as mine

camping

my whole life, i only went camping twice, both under pretense of escorting students there. My father never gave me permission to go camping when i was in school, purely because of safety issue.( me myself were concern of that too)

My first camping happened in 2009, i was a teacher in training and practically forced to accompany my students to a camp in Batang Kali, Selangor. I'd never forget the night walk though, and i'd never forget the tragedy which my handphone went kaputt due to the 10 minutes submerge in water..(sigh)

And this the second time, the venue was at Hutan Rekreasi Ayer Keroh, Melaka

Popping determination pills

If there is such pill as 'determination pill', i'll buy loads of them, force feed them to a bunch of students.................................................................

As i blog

As i blog, i reflect, taught last person today and thought of all day today...

Lowly

I want keep this blog as low profile as possible because in the past, my previous blog had been the target for haters sneaking into 'my life in writing' to fire criticism.

So low

diri, Cukup lah

Cukup lah, diri, kau mengemaskini blog dengan entri entri sebaris ayat yang cukup menyampah pada pandangan

haha

kawan

..kawan memulakan hariku dengan senyum, meyudahi dengan tawa, dan memujuk kesedihan di antaranya..

Terima kasih

Teman..

numerical me

Aku biasa menomborkan orang-orang yg aku kenal, aku tidak ingat nama mereka...

p/s-dilanda penyakit update blog, walaupun entri hanya sebaris ayat

Sujud dan kenal

Sejak beberapa tahun kebelakangan ini, setiap kali aku berada di tempat baru, dan bila pertama kali aku sujud di situ (solat)

I have a thinking, "no matter how far on earth we roamed, finitely, all head touches to the ground, bowing, admitting the powerful almighty Allah SWT empowering"

Dan bila aku sujud, aku mula kenal bumi itu

Sujud dan kenal lah bumi tempat anda berada....

He-who-must-not-be-named

This is an excerpt of 2nd HP series:


Lucius Malfoy: 


You must be very brave, or very foolish to say his name..(his: Lord Voldemort)

Harry Potter: 


Fear of the name will increase the fear of the thing itself...kamehameha..(eh, yg last tu dh confuse dgn dragon ball pulak)

He-who-must-not-be-named,,,

And


no


You-DONT-know -who


p/s: aku, kipas-susah-mati HP dan Son Goku..kamehameha

Teaching is a martial art

what it takes to educate 21 young minds in one tutorial class?

patience

Since i started teaching, my patience grew robust. When 21 people in the age of 18 get together, they displayed behaviour of all sort. Not all pleasant.

Education is martial art taken years to master. There's no limit to the skill, and it is highly dynamic (changing as time goes by)

Teenagers proved to be difficult to handle, its a human being we are dealing with...

..of the past

"Though it's been a while now, I can still feel so much pain. Like the knife that cuts you, the wound heals. But the scar -- that scar remains." ~ Bret Michaels

...wish

I wrote this in the midst of pouring rain outside, with sinking feeling inside, and i humbly beg for tranquility to come by my side, so that i can put all my worries aside...

NNCR ( on the 5th of Feb 2011, 10.57 pm).......

Selangkah ke alam misteri

First week here, seems like everyone's trying to update and bombard me with ghost stories scattered all over college.

Instead of splurging my senses with the new challenge of working, i was divulged with unnecessary info on the haunted part of KMJ.

I jot down some of the experience here:

1. Kuarters

Hari pertama di kolej ini, penginapan merupakan masalah pertama yang perlu diselesaikan. Memandang Tangkak adalah suatu tempat di Malaysia yang tidak pernah kujejaki, dan tiada seorang pun saudara mara berdekatan. ,maka pilihan terbaik untuk penginapan adalah di apartmen untuk pensyarah dan kakitangan yang disediakan.

Long story short
*sebenarnya ada 1000 patah perkataan lagi yg ingin diceritakan, but i'll keep that secret*

Terdapat dua bunyi di apartmen itu yang diketahui oleh semua pensyarah yang pernah tinggal di situ, termasuk aku sendiri:

i.Bunyi perabot dipindahkan.

Aku tinggal di rumah itu bertiga, bunyi itu cuma boleh didengari ketika keseorangan, jika kami bertiga berkumpul, tidak terjadi, biasa nya pada pukul 12 malam ke atas.

Dan not to mention, rumah atas kosong, rumah sebelah kosong.

ii.Bunyi memasak

12 malam ke atas.

Rumah atas, rumah sebelah, KOSONG, malahan ketika semua pensyarah sudah pulang bercuti dan aku  keseorangan ketika itu menunggu flight 2 hari selepasnya


2. Orang tua di BBT

Rumours spreaded like wildfire of the existence of an senior citizen roaming the housing area during midnight.

Then it occur to me the 'orang tua' might be none other than PUTERI GUNUNG LEDANG.

Remember the legend? when Hang Tuah and delegation journeyed to Gunung Ledang to ask Puteri gunung Ledang hand in marriage
Puteri gunung Ledang came materializing as a Nenek kebayan at first to greet the delegation

Orang Tua!


p/s: bukan berkepercayaan tahyul, sekadar catatan pengalaman

Serunai Malam dan Interlok

Di sebalik cerminan kegilaan dan obsesi melampau diriku terhadap dunia nombor-nombor (Matematik), sebenarnya terdapat sedikit ruang dalam jiwa ini untuk kesusasteraan.

Ruang yang makin sempit oleh keadaan yang lebih membentuk kecenderungan ke arah mempelajari semua rahsia di sebalik ilmu kira mengira yang tidak berperasaan.

Tahap kesusasteraan paling hebat pernah aku kaji adalah

KOMSAS tingkatan 4 dan 5

(boleh gelak..haha)

Tanpa sebab yang jelas, dalam himpunan bahan bahan yang dipelajari ( di tingkatan 4 dan 5 itu), satu karya yang paling aku gemari adalah drama yg bertajuk Serunai Malam.

Mengisahkan jiwa patriotik seorang anak muda yang berperang dengan desakan dari kekasih hati dan keluarga untuk membuat pilihan kerjaya.

Namun yang paling disukai tentulah lagu 'Serunai Malam' yang dinyanyikan oleh Kartina Dahari dan versi asal oleh Bing Slamet ( tidak pasti pula kewujudan versi-versi lain)




Dan baru baru ini ketika pelancaran Kelab Rukunegara Kolej, para pelajarku telah mempersembahkan sketsa 'Serunai Malam'

(Suka la cikgu nya ni..heehe)

Interlok, di sebalik semua isu yang dibangkitkan adalah bahan bacaaan aku ketika di Darjah 5 lagi

Aku terjumpa buku itu dalam almari, saiznya sebesar buku HP and The Deathly Hallows( hard cover version), kulitnya berwarna merah dan bahasa yang digunakan adalah sangat klasik

Seperti lapan dieja sebagai delapan, hancur sebagai hanchor, ke sebagai ka dsb

Aku membacanya berkali-kali setiap hari dan ada beberapa mukasurat kutanda, sebagai bahagian cerita yang paling menarik hati.

Malangnya buku itu dipinjamkan kepada seorang kawan dan tidak dipulangkan sampai sekarang

Kali kedua aku menjumpai buku itu di perpustakaan MRSM beberapa tahun kemudian

Tapi edisi yang baru otu tidak menarik minatku kerana ejaan yang digunakan sudah diperbaharuui dan moden

Let it be, let it be, let it be, ohhh, let it be, let it beee~~~

I know the time will come when i have to

be wiling 
to let go of the dream


~~Whisper word of wisdom, let it be, let it be, let it be~~
Quoting The Beatles...Let it Be....

Dont you ever say sorry, just go away

Every one is the product of civilization, and any human being who walks the earth will ever heard of the word 'sorry'.."maaf', or any equivalence as such in other tounge.

And as the civilization set us apart from the native, being polite is one essential criteria to brand a person as civilized or animal, the simplest act of being polite involve apologizing and seek forgiveness.

A quote saying..
sorry seems to be the hardest word...i'd like to add

Sorry seems to be the hardest word to both party:

1. People who do wrong

2.People who are wronged

The first type understandably will view 'sorry' as a difficult word for the act of saying sorry will force them to admit their mistake and subject to the need to repent. understandably, apart from monk, admit one mistake is the harshest punishment for someone's ego.

The second type, however

Sorry seems to be the most difficult word because 

1. To forgive other's wrong deed to us cost us more than just nice heart, we need to be really strong to let go of  all the bitter memory and pain brought by the culprit.

2. The act of seeking forgiveness make it final the person in question is guilty. and it hurts especially when the person in question topped rank in your heart.

Sungguh pedih, sedih.....

Stay the same

If only you can see the way i see you, you'll be amazed how amazing you are, you won't change anything because you are great the way you are ( the way i picture you)


And aint it what matter most?


I wish you can see the way i see you...you are amazing the way you are, dont change anything

Kau begitu sempurna, di mataku kau begitu indah...

bbq-di hari kejadian

Efficiency defines youth ( without discrediting the senior citizen).

Our bbq plan can be considered as last minute. Everything was planned and carried out A DAY before the real ocassion.

The mastermind ( not me) arrange almost everything ranging from our determined effort to bring forth the fire to the grilling task later on. Two people were in charge of the kitchen section, fried some more crackers, french fries and nuggets.

*I pulok, AJK kebersihan sajorhhhh*

Because the venue was at our house, i gotta tidy up the place 

( baca: kemaskan rumah yg dh sememangnya  sudah kemas). 

The chores including sweeping the front porch 

( baca: sapu porch yg sememangnya sudah bersih)

rearrange the shoes ( rumah duduk 3 org tp kasutnya macam ada 15 org)

(baca: susun kasut yg sememangnya sudah tersusun)

Kesimpulannya AJK kebersihan mmg tak byk kerja sebab ...

well whaddaya expect huh?

rumah anak dara kan nihhhh, mestilah kemas dan bersih (fakta tidak boleh bangkang)

Then, our voices and laughter implies how much fun we had, i was a bit worried for fear the neighbour might be complaining.

Then the event was a huge success, for one whole night we've been chatting and talking so loud.

Apart from one of my friend highlighting and critizing how small my TV was ( sakit mata wooo, katanya), we ( my housemate and i~) are the most successful host of the bbq.

Congratulations to us...

To be continued......

bbq

For the lack of better word, last week was frantic. 

With mid semester examination looming near, and internal inspection was just around the corner. 

Worse, the never-seems-to-be-well-prepared-to-face-examination students were after us (their lecturer) to pose various questions demanding immediate answer right there and then. They came to us in group of 5-6 students, crowding our table with at least one or two trig proving to solve (without them trying first) EACH, and not to mention their heart-wrenching story of all the pain and suffer they went through to solve Maths.

Me: Ini soalan proving, sy tak boleh buat ajer, u kena try dulu, baru tau nk buat lain kali, dlm exam bukannya soalan yg sama...

Pelajar: Sy tak boleh....sy tak boleh.....sy tak mampu buat...miss tau tak saya tak tidur semalaman buat maths je, pastu tak dapat jugak...x dapat.... (dengan muka dan nada yg disayu-sayu kan, airmata nya tertahan-tahan)

*aku mengerti tekanan mereka ( sbb itu aku tidak marah) dengan subjek Matematik ini, tapi salah sendiri kan?*

Manage your stress well ( as i'd say to myself), stress in small quantity (stress to countable kan? ehehe)  will do you good, vice versa.

In the midst of overwhelming stress ( students yg stress ye, berjangkit kpd lecturer-nya..haha), we decided to escape from the sea of worries and qualms just for a moment (students yg worried ye, berjangkit pd lecturer nye...haha).

As i told you, the real indulgence in this world is food, spoil yourself with a reasonable amount of heavenly delicacies and everything will be just right...dont forget to add some laughter with good friends and acquittance, or in the case of married people with kids, nothing can be more soothing than the pleasure (and pressure kot..?)  of those kiddo chasing around each other.

I digressed a lot huh?

bbq

Last time i had it was about 6 months ago with a bunch of already-graduated-matriculation-students. Venue : Pusat bbq KMJ

It was all the idea of Azalea ( bukan nama sebenar) who suggest bbq instead of long queue ( at the cinemas...haha)

We made a task delegation, of course it will involve massive labour in kitchen

*massive la sangat*

There were eleven of us

So we got chicken/prawn/ fish to be clean and cut into parts, we gotta prepare the ingredients to marinate the chicken and we gotta cook fried mee/ rice/ macaroni to be served along with the grilled chicken, we gotta served the sauce , and unanimously we want nice dessert following the main course...

*the list can go on*

Tapi, fortunately task yg kat atas tu hanya berlaku dlm perancangan aku shj

.

.

.

.

.

.kerana semua nya kami tempah dan BAYAR sahaja..haha

*task delegation la sgt*

kita hanya mampu merancang...haha

Next discussion revolved around the venue:

Below are the excerpt of our conversation:

Me: Nk buat di mana ni? nearest adalah gunung ledang

Friend 1: Bosan nye Gunung Ledang, mane lagi tempat rekreasi sekitar sini?

Friend 2: Di Melaka mcmana?, ape tmpat yg ada?

(tiada siapa mampu jawab kerana xde sorang pun org melaka dan org johor dlm geng kami)

Friend 3: buat kat rumah je, siapa yg halaman rumah dia paling luas:

(semua pandang aku)

Me: okay

to be continued.....

For the love of it

I want to write, trying to digress for a minute from numbers

I face too many mathematical symbol, operation, theorem, formulas, proving in a day, i'd feel, i'll burst with it.

I do LOVE maths, but too much of it incite boredom, too much of it will be the source of qualm, never ending request for sharp state of mind, quick witted and i'll end up TIRED.

okay, ada kelas, angka lagi.....

I'm not happy

People said i look happy


But im not happy..

The untold story

This is the story of Ven and Red

The deafening sound followed the exploding gun, next a thundering screaming was heard, a female, Red's voice.

The wild bullet pierce Red's chest, Red screamed an agonizing excruciating pain scream, it sounded both like cry of despair and plea for hope, blood spurted right through the tragic hole where the bullet make a passage straight to the vital organ of breathing, the lung.

Ven lurched forward to catch whatever remains of Red

Whatever remains of Red no longer alive, but the memory of Red will live forever, through Ven...

Nadiah Che Rahim (12 mlm, catatan sebelum tidur..ZzzZZzzz)

Biarkan aku menangis

of the test...

Seorang perempuan perlu memelihara akal tatkala dia sedang kehilangan hatinya....

Dont forget to add C

Merupakan suatu formula, apabila kita membuat pembezaan (differentiation) terhadap suatu nilai malar (constant), hasilnya adalah sifar (zero)

Kerna itu, apabila kita melakukan proses berbalik (reverse process) iaitu kamiran (integration) kita dikehendaki menambah kan 'c' pada setiap hasil kamiran, kerna dikhuatiri sebenarnya wujud satu nilai malar sebelum ia dibezakan.

Seperti memori, yg dipadam, sebenarnya masih wujud sisa yg mungkin mampu disembunyi, namun cuma kamu dan tuhan sahaja yg tahu....

Catatan dari Batu Pahat 2

I dont know what main attraction Batu Pahat hold, absolutely Batu Pahat is no difference than any other part of Johor i visited, i asked some Johorean i knew ( especially BP's folks), what's to look for in BP?, unique only in BP?

And the most interesting answer spontaneous and honest, he said ('he' refers to my fellow colleaugue from BP), "BP Mall"

That's hilarious because in my opinion, any mall cant be so different from the other.

But i did went there, and bought a book and new sophisticated SCIENTIFIC CALCULATOR..

So a book and a new scientific calculator come all the way from Batu Pahat..(Popular bookshop, to be exact)

hahahaha.....thats all

(Catatan dr batu Pahat berakhir di sini sbb ptg ni nk balik Tangkak dah...)

Painful tribute to the moment that i dread

Maybe you did hate me, for the deed of turn away and never look back...


4.30 am, Kolej Perwira UTHM

Catatan dari Batu Pahat

Batu Pahat is another part of Johor where i never ever set foot on.

In Kota Bharu, Kelantan, there once exist a restaurant called Nasi Beriyani Batu Pahat, adjacent to two restaurant which our family was really familiar with. I never dreamed of to actually be in Batu Pahat, the idea of getting to Batu Pahat is too far-fetched and distant, like the idea of going somewhere far to visit far relatives i've never met...(okay, enough...haha).

Itu sahaja...haha

Hope, as i view it

Hope comes and go, materialized and cancelled, realistic and idealistic, harbored then forgotten, given and taken...

I hope...

-NNCR-copyright..(haha)

Movie goer 2

Yesterday i watched another movie called 'soul to take'...

Nothing much i can comment here, except for the idea and concept for the movie is somewhat cliche

mysterious murder--->one by one get killed----> the killer turns out to be the most UNEXPECTED person ( the most charming or the weakest or the most kind).

cliche, cliche, cliche...

Kill, kill, die, die, stab, stab, slash, cut throat, head smashed, GAGAAGGA!!!

So bloodied!



i fell asleep for 5 minutes after one hour

Im looking forward to watch Narnia, Hantu Kak limah balik Rumah, and Aku Tak Bodoh..next


p/s: but my friend said utk Hantu Kak Limah balik Rumah tu tunggu je Astro tayang time Raya taun depan...

When i feel nothing

Two people are Two; the point is everyone is unique, there will be no exactly the same two person on earth..NOT EVEN TWINS

But two people has a bridge connecting them, invisible yet powerful, the bridge is actually feeling which is MUTUAL and RECIPROCAL, or people call it CHEMISTRY

But when chemistry ceased to exist, the bridge will be reduced to non-existence, no special connection other than physical can be felt, it is called NOTHING

When i feel Nothing.......at all

Movie-goer

The social network

I bet this is the most satisfying movie i had ever watched for 2010. The inspiring story of Mark Zuckerberg, none than other but the founder of the famous social web..Facebook.
According to the film, Mark originally meant to get revenge on his girl over some quarell about their relationship, the Mark started posting blog entries insulting the girl including how fake her bra size was.
And he was drunk when he done something to impress ( and baffle) many IT savvy.

Another movie worth watching was HP  and the Deathly Hallows, Rapunzel: The tangled tale

The worst movie i ever watced was Altitude, Ngangkung and Buried

Child-minding is fun

Its a formality for a working mother (or father) here to bring along their children to work place at times of certain predicament, such as their children fell ill, no baby sitter available, or simply to keep a close watch to their children.

But its not possible for the children to tag along their mother ( or father) to tutorial classes or lecture, for it will be inappropriate for fear the kid might be interrupting the lesson, and the learning institution is not exactly a playground for any children either, usually the child-minding chore will be trusted to the fellow colleague in the staffroom.

The volunteer baby sitting chore ain't tedious considering the child in question belongs to age group of 5-8 years old. All it takes is some skills to start chatting with kids, and maybe some sweets or toys to bribe them to stay put. No cleaning, cooing, or diaper changing necessary..( dont worry..haha)..

They are cute! they r fun!

Open house-SSS (plural)

Festive seasons always been associated with food, and food is abundant, in all sorts of names, tastes, shapes and even, origin.

Many people are generous with foods, they organize a custom called an open house. Frequently, they will set time and date and invite people to come and enjoy, indulge, and gobble on variety of foods, free of charge.

Kids will get extra treat in the form of 'duit raya', and the real picturesque scenery during any open houses are the kid chasing around each other, parading their new clothes.

Mine? i'd like to jot down a few experience of the open houses i attended:

1. The Acting Vice Director of KMJ's a.k.a head of Maths Department house

The Boss's house! It was located in Tengkera Malacca

which i had next to no idea where?!!

But, according to the map, i will easily find my way to the house if i turn right at the junction heading to Jusco Baru. After blindly following whichever signboard which points to Alor Gajah, we ( My friend and I) given up altogether and convert to plan B.

We decided to halt the guess and start a quest for the real path to go there. The most brilliant methodology cropped up was none but to start phoning the boss herself! asking for direction..

Then, to our surprise, we weren't lost, we were halfway exactly where we want to be.

Kesimpulan: kami memang pandai cari jalan nooo...

Next thing i remember was nothing but the food, heaven!!!

2.Fellow colleague Kak Yan and Kak Nita's house in Muar and Bukit Katil

We had carefully planned our journey right after the invitation to the open house come up.

Every second of free time we got will be fully utilized to discuss the details of our little adventure that weekend. Our simple motto must be obeyed and proved:

" Musuh jgn dicari, rezeki jgn ditolak, open house kena pergi, makan kenalah hepi, baru tuan rumah tak kecik hati"



Kak Nita has given stern instruction for us to follow....



"Kira Traffic Light tuuuhh, trafic light ke lima belok kiri"

1
2
3
4
5

Kami mengira traffic light



Then the next thing i remember was eating...



From Muar, we off to Melaka, we decided to do some exploration and investigation using different route from our usual PLUS highway.



The sun shone so bright, the day was at the peak of its temperature, the blinding light of harsh sun sap all of how-much-ever energy left, i was sleepy.



The open house in Kak Yan' s house was not due until 8 pm..we were a bit early, the clock arm lee-way points to 5 pm.



One of my friend suggested to loiter around Jusco Lama, while waiting for the cue, to go to Bukit Katil, to attend Kak Yan's open house. We we having light meal ( light kerr?) in Mickey D's



Then, sharply at 8pm, our delegation (haha), literally ambush Kak Yan's house.



Being the first batch of guest, we officiated everything!!!!



hahahahaah


[to be continued..........]

'belah-belah selatan' episode dua

2. Marhaban dari rumah ke rumah

This is the first time in my life ever, i ever joined an activity called marhaban apart from 'marhaban di astro' dan 'meraban secara pro' (professional)

hahaaha

what makes it unique is the method it was carried out, male and female will be separated and travel from one house to another, chanting praise to the ALMIGHTY ALLAH SWT in unison.

According to Non, the custom only made ritual in Johor, during syawal months.

Aiming to strengthen bond between the community members and seek blessing from god.

I was not used to this custom because i was brought up in east coast with no similar tradition.

'belah-belah selatan' episode satu

Aku berasal dari Pantai Timur, pernah melanjutkan pengajian di sebelah utara ( Kolej Matrikulasi Kedah dan Tg Malim), pernah berpengalaman mengajar di negeri Selangor ( praktikal mengajar di Rawang), dan sekarang, mengajar di Negeri Johor, di Tangkak yg bersempadan dengan Negeri Melaka.

bahagian selatan pula!


Utara., Selatan, Timur, Barat......sudah kuhuni ( melancong dan berjalan-jalan not counted!).


Cuma Malaysia Timur ( Sabah Sarawak) belum ada pengalaman samada belajar atau bekerja ( sekali lagi pergi melancong, berjalan-jalan waima pergi berdebat not counted!)


Ini catatan pengalaman berada di 'belah-belah selatan' Malaysia (Johor, Melaka)


1.Melaka



Memori yg paling kejap dalam hati adalah di watu kecil, setiap tahun kami sekeluarga suka benar melawat Negeri Melaka, pergi muzium, A Famosa, perigi Hang Tuah, naik kereta lembu etc.


Mungkin kegemaran itu 44.97% dipengaruhi oleh pekerjaan ibuku pada waktu itu sebagai guru Sejarah ( dan Bahasa Melayu), justeru gemar membawa kami adik beradik melawat tempat-tempat bersejarah, sesuai sekali dengan Melaka yg digelar Bandaraya Bersejarah, katanya


'Melawat Melaka beerti melawat Malaysia'..hah!?


Kali terakhir kami sekeluarga melawat Melaka adalah pada tahun 2005, masih ku ingat pada waktu itu sesudah Debat Diraja di UKM, kami sekeluarga immediately planned a simple family trip heading to our favourite tourist spot, Malacca.




Then December 2009...




Aku ditempatkan mengajar di negeri Johor ini, at first  i thought the nearest city is Johore Baharu, then i discovered , Tangkak happened to be the border separating Johore and Malacca, JB is located hundreds of km from here and the nearest 'better developed' area is Ayer Keroh, Malacca.




Sejak berkerja, kali pertama aku ke Melaka adalah pada minggu kedua di sini, 2 buah kereta ( Toyota Altis milik Mr UZK dan Proton Perdana milik Miss Boya). Tempat pertama yg kami lawati adalah Jusco Bandaraya Ayer Keroh ( Yg mana aku discover ada dua Jusco yg ku bezakan dengan nama Jusco lama, dan Jusco baru)


Kemudian sewaktu family day unit Matematik, pergi main Bowling di MIBC, berhampiran Mydin dan MITC.


Beberapa lama kemudian, baru langkah perjalanan aku dan teman-teman lebih jauh lagi, pergi Dataran Pahlawan, etc etc ( tak ingat nama)


Sebelumnya paling berani aku drive cuma ke Mydin (paling senang)


Sembilan bulan di sini, aku sudah ada sedikit keberanian untuk memandu dengan lebih jauh lagi ( tp tak berani sgt sebab abah pesan jgn jalan2 sangat)


I've been seeing too much of Malacca these days...bosan pulak...he3


Aku pun tak tahu berapa lama lagi aku nk berada di sini???


To be continued....

Ragam: first episode

Sudah 9 bulan bergelar pendidik, sedikit catatan mengenai 'sindrom-sindrom' pelajar zaman sekarang:

1. Surprise and shocking revelation

Cikgu: Sila hantar assignment yg saya bagi minggu lepas

Pelajar: HAH!!!! APA????!!!!HANTAR???!!!!

Cikgu: Masa menjawab tinggal 5 minit lagi

Pelajar: HAH!!!APAAA???!!!! 5 MINIT!!!

Cikgu: Minggu ni kuiz susah sikit ye

Pelajar: HAH!!!!! APAAA??!!! 

Pelajar sekarang suka terperanjat/ terkejut/ terkesima/terpempam/ tergamam etc bila melibatkan kuiz dan assignment, dan

buat-buat terperanjat/ terkejut/ terkesima/terpempam/ tergamam apabila:

Cikgu: Esok kelas dibatalkan

Pelajar: HAH!!! HEPPI SEDIH nye...

Cikgu: Sy rasa assignment yg minggu lepas tu tak payah hantar la

Pelajar: HAH!!!!! SUKA KECEWA nye....


2. Dozed-off

Bila-bila sahaja mereka jumpa sebarang permukaan yg boleh meletakkan kepala, tido,
duduk dalam tutorial tido,
dlm kuliah, tido,
Amali, tido
dekat kafe pun tido
Exam pun tido

3. Cuddle me, im a little kitty yearn for attention

Suka bermanja-manja...

Cikgu: Okay, sila buat soalan no 1 dekat whiteboard

Pelajar: ALAAAA, CIKGUUUUU, TAK NAK LA MCM TUUUUUU

Cikgu: Sila siapkan tutorial chapter 9

Pelajar: ALAAAAAAA, CIKGUUUUUU, PENATTTTT LAAAA

Cikgu: Mana buku tutorial?

Pelajar: ALAAAA, CIKGUUUUU, SEMALAM BUKUUU TUUU KAN, BUKU TUUUU, TINGGALLL ATASSS MEJAAAA



Oh, pelajar!
Segelintirnya!

When Nonoi and Nonon drifted into deep slumber, starry sky materialized as a promise next week is summer!

Warning: Nonoi dan Nonon bukan nama kucing atau hamster


Nonoi and Nonon are two bestfriends whose path always crossed and merged, they happened to be originated from the same town called Klang ( atau disebut dengan slang omputih, K-l-a-n-g..haha)



Nonoi and Nonon are two souls i approved as the closest to siblings i had here. Its been 8 months of us living together, sharing countless of thing that can be shared ( hahaha)



Things we shared ranging from food, TV, car, dapur gas, papan pemotong sayur, peti sejuk, mesin basuh, alas pengelap kaki, lantai rumah, bumbung dan siling rumah, serta pintu depan masuk rumah...sekian terima kasih



Nonoi and Nonon are my housemates, the memorable last 4 months when we went through all kind of hardship in our quest of finding a humble yet welcoming abode ( rented house) as a shelter along our time serving the nation through teaching here.



And currently, Nonoi and Nonon both fast asleep, as i typing the words,



they are deep in dream, 
wont be awaken even by a scream, 
lasted until light of daylight gleam,
tranquil rested on soft mattress seam,
they work all day, pity their limb.





Tidur, kawan kawanku, aku pun mahu tidur
Esok mahu kerja lagi
sabmung khidmat pada anak bangsa
mulia, mendidik.



When Nonoi and Nonon drifted into deep slumber, starry sky materialized as a promise next week is summer!


Selamat Malam..=)

Memories 2: memori hari raya yg memahamkan erti hidup ini pada memberi, bukan menerima

Disebabkan musim raya yang masih berbaki suasana meriahnya, maka memori yang kedua adalah berkenaan raya.



Salah satu cara mengenal diri telah mengalami transformasi adalah dengan mengenang kembali hari-hari raya yg pernah dilalui sepanjang waktu kamu hidup.



Sejujurnya sepanjang hidupku, ku tidak pernah merasakan berkurangnya nikmat hari raya, biarpun dengan pertambahan usia dan peralihan peranan, tiada lagi yg berihsan untuk menghulur sampul duit raya, sebaliknya tangan sendiri yg perlu memberi dengan ikhlas dan senang, dengan kasih dan sayang.


*dan baru kutahu memberi itu lebih nikmat dari menerima*


Previously, Raya had served me only as the annual period of collecting money and indulging foods, free of charge, as time went by and i grew older (hopefully wiser), Raya had defined its purpose for me beyond discrete object hands can hold and touch.


the invisible meaning of Raya  revealed is to strengthen bonds between relatives and siblings. The rituals of apologizing and forgiving were practised before our time. The purity of the spirit will cater for the sins and offence committed for that year, till next year Raya, the apology remain intact (e'eh..haha)




Ok....kerajinan menaip sudah lari..=)...mengantok sudeyh

Nota:

1.Sudah 8 bulan hidupku mengajar Matematik Matrikulasi ini, aku semakkan dan penuhkan keseluruhan sel otak dengan nombor, persamaan, graf, dan segala bagai berkenaan Mathematics...maafkan bahasa yg tidak baik....