Last night, has been one of the most happiest moments in my life as of 2011, though it would have felt better if there was someone special I could have shared it with. After having to wait for so long, finally the good news came. My application with Southern Cross University, Australia for my Bachelor in Business in Events & Convention Management has been approved!! Two thumbs up for me! This has been one of my biggest achievement by far. Nothing to feel great about. But the day I really graduate with that piece of certificate in my hands, I sure will be the happiest person on Earth!! 

InsyaAllah, it would be a smooth sail for me. But gotta wake up this time round. Nothing comes free in the world. Success comes with sacrifices. And Ive got alot of sacrificing to do

Yana, Yana, Yana.

You can do this, you can go through whatever obstacles He has planned for you. You are a strong lady, you can overcome this. Its not your luck. Time will tell baby. Don't feel to sad. Everything will be over. Your nightmares will go away. You just have to continue to stay strong. For whatever that happens, it makes you stronger!

My oh my. I cant deal with this any longer. I cant lie to myself any longer. Abg, I know if you were here with me, you'll be the first to comfort me. You'll be the first to tell me that everythings gonna be alright and that no matter what happens, you'll always be there to catch me when I fall. I miss you way too much abg. Time please fly, really please.

I just feel stupid, and liveless, & I just wanna run to my mummy right now & get a big fat hug!

Abg, I just cant wait. But somehow or rather, its been really difficult for me to cope with things lately. I seriously dont know what seems to be the problem. Everything seems to be so strange. Suddenly I feel like as times goes by, things get far more complicated. I dont know where to start, cause I guess letters wont be enough. Abg, its just 3 more months, till you'll be back with us. But why does it seem like the time is passing so slowly. So close, yet so far. Abg, when can I get to feel you back in my arms? I miss you, so so much.

A whole new journey awaits me in February. Not much of an adventure, but yet, it means a lot to me. Cant wait to start my degree, cause when I graduate, I have proven many people wrong. My brother & sister have both managed to put a smile on my parents face. So I guess, its my turn now. But this time I know, this wont just be an ordinary smile. I just cant wait. InsyaAllah, everything will turn out just fine

I cant help but to cry seeing myself being like this. Everyday when I browse through your photos, I just wished a miracle would happen. I just wished I wouldnt have decided on what I ever did. Though we had our disputes, I cant seem to run away from the thoughts of you even in the midst of doing something. It feels different. I just hope your reading this. And if you do, and you know who you are, I bet the first thing youre gonna do is to laugh at me. He didnt do anything wrong, but its just that I miss you. I miss the feeling arround you.

" I promise myself I wanna make you my wife. I love you too much to ever let you go, to ever see you love someone else. Let me prove to you, let me show you what I am capable of. Cause I just want you to know, how much I care, how much I dont want you to go. Thanks honey for giving me this last shot, cause with this shot, I am gonna make sure that you'll never have to turn back. I love you"

By far, that has been the sweetest thing Fendi has ever said to me. But then again, lets all not hope. We're just gonna help each other along the way. InsyaAllah, everything will turn out just fine.

Right at this point of time, I am feeling really thankful towards what Allah has given me. Though it has been a rough ride throughout, but I can never deny that despite feeling depressed with all that has happened, there is still room for some appreciation & happiness. 

But with all that happiness, comes with a group of people I know I can count on. They would be my friends, family, cousins, uncles & aunties and as well my colleagues. Without them, I sure won't be able to make it these far. Everytime I feel down, I know its them I can confide. They were the ones who stood for me, and never did run away

Special thanks to my girls; Rina, Ira, Ina & Yvonne. This post is specially for you girls! From the bottom of my heart, love you girls! Together with my other girls & boys (you guys know who you are) I love you guys too.

The most difficult thing to ever handle would be the truth. Yes, the truth always hurts. Thats why people say in life, do not expect too much, cause it can either turn out to be a dream come true, or a nightmare. Cause when things don't turn out the way we want it to be, the one who falls the hardest would be ourselves. But then again, its how we tackle the situation. Cause the moment you choose to rise, thats the biggest courage, the biggest step one can ever make. Your actions shape your future. 

However, doesn't seem as easy as it sounds. This time I really lost the battle. Ive searched myself, searched everywhere, but the courage doesnt seem to come. I don't wanna be a coward, I don't wanna be labeled a loser. But if this is what that makes people happy, guess Im all willing to live up to dead. At least, seeing someone smile, will make me smile to. InsyaAllah

I miss the times when I was still young, when I was still innocent. When I didnt have to think about what was going on around me. I miss the times when all I wanted to do was to laugh and watch cartoons. Force Mum & Dad to bring me to the playground. When the only songs I heard to then was Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars. Where I dont have to make choices, except for choosing my favourite color. And the only things I would cry about was if I didnt ever get to go to the playground, or if I didnt get my favourite ice-cream, or if I didnt get my toy.

But whats life without challenges? Though sometimes I feel like runnig away, but till when? Why cant I never put my feelings aside, and think with the brains instead of using emotions? Guess that's just being human. And as much as you would hear this coming from many people, the truth hurts the most. Nothing beats that,

A Friend Indeed

Was all alone in the dark, when someone held my hands to walk through the night with me. Little did I realize, we had many things in common. He listened to my shit. He didnt just watch me cry, but he hugged me so tight. I feel like a princess everytime Im around him.

I wanted him to be mine forever, I wanted him by my side forever. I knew, deep down, his the one I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I saw he wanted whats best for me, but why couldnt I just do it?