xt's dear diary

its just the emotions

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

moved

ppl, i've officially started my wordpress.

no more tagboards:(

but pls try to deliver ur love to me via comments k. :)

xoxo,
xtlovesdoraemon.wordpress.com

(paiseh qt duh. lol)

Monday, July 6, 2009

a despondant entry

i was never an apple in anybody's eye.
i am only a glutton
who is constantly hungry
because inside the pathetic shell
is a hollow space.

im thankful for the casual chat A.
it was prolly the most heartwarming concern amongse the neon lights.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

pek chek

stupid blogspot cannot upload photos.

might be switching to wordpress instead.
still figuring how to use it.

im gg to miss trekking with the 29th:(

"send someone to love me,
i need to rest in arms,
keep me safe from harm
in pouring rain
give me endless summer
lord i feel the cold
feel im getting old
before my time"

Saturday, June 27, 2009

underneath that maniac laughter

“ Laughter can conceal a heavy heart, but when the laughter ends, the grief remains."

***


GUNUNG STONG (revisited) 22-27 June 2009

cc.tw.me.adeline.wj the 5 of us 轰轰烈烈ended our official rovers trek as 29th comm. :)
the yqyq couple. so tianmimi. hold hands, both can sing song. all was so beautiful and made me so envious till i realise r/s can be fragile too. twds the end there was some tension. but i hope their love would transcend any obstacle.
i came across this quote today, sth along the lines of "those who marvel at the beauty of the earth never stays lonely" i tink its very true. but at times i feel that if mother nature's beauty could be shared with a loved one, it would make it even lovlier.
i told shawna that despite not getting to see the egg yolk style sunrise. the hues prior to the yolk was equally stunning. i prolly stretched it a little when i related it to life's journey. that the enjoyment is not the outcome but the process.
the "magic mirror". mayb all those tourist cardboard displays were inspired by this. hoho
i really really love waterfalls! uncle was right. dun fall in love with the waterfall...haha.
tw injured her leg at the last stretch. scary sia!
all of us! tho i wasn't particularly very bonded to this group but well, i still felt this was an interesting grp and im confident of saying that within themselves they definitely got closer to one another. :) and im thankful that i got to trek with some ppl that could entertain me during the trek down like the 2 hokkien 歌王s. totally impressed. haha.

actually, im feeling very happy now cuz of a convo from K and GC.
i really feel very happy to see ur sms everytime i return from the mountains. it makes me feel that i did make a difference when i wasn;t around. that someone remembered me.someone missed me.
when u told me that i had that "happy charm" i was really flattered. i wish more ppl shared ur sentiment.
Uncle Adam would make a terrific geography teacher.
seeing wj being born in the small hole (metaphorical rebirth?)
staglagmite, staglamites, pillar, scalloping, primary and secondary developments, pool stones(uncle adam would make a super good geog teacher)
eating leaves that has botox effect and tongkak ali
listening to hokkien gua experts
witnessing dramatic love triangles
witnessing potential from rovers to lovers(gj and c)
seeing tian mimi couples (yqyq) but things turning a little awkward twds the end
having a manly person save me(abit kena groped)squirrels.bb
having 2 scorpions climbing on my arm
having a flooded tent
hong hong lie lie de last trek
gg up to the summit
singing at the lovers rock despite a starless sky
inspiring sunrise which told me the process not the result is most impt waterfall slide which made my heart jump out
nice guys that saved me when i cant swim( sq, aaron, wj)
i realise i am shy to be touched and carried
random chat with AE( pets)
msn chat with K
noticing that T was noticing TW
loving nature and treking and rovers:)

Monday, June 22, 2009

love

“ Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. Neil Gaiman

Sunday, June 21, 2009

shooting stars

shooting stars~ fireworks~beautiful memories:)
TEA BONE ZEN CAFE:)
yokey pei brought along her dslr! woohoo! very fun to play with! love this atas tai tai place:) kudos to zhu for the reccomandation
our only full house pic. missing mabel thj who is enjoying herself in us. we miss u baobei!
here are some sneak peak of your gift frm yokey. rmb to get it back from me! i hope they are still available and not in my tummy alr. wahaha
see im sucha good photographer:P

love the cups and bowls they serve us in! i feel like a princess:)))

chanced upon this interesting shop:)
BEREMBUN, CEREMBONG, LANSIR with ROVERS(to lovers)
this trek was filled with couples(2b).
jon and simei zabor fiona
karmor and ayumi
yewneece and kiampawei(?)
tzewaiwai and zavier(?)
poor ww and me
haha
neh mind, we 裸看星星tgt. LOL.
love that topless bath tgt:)
love that big playground at the waterfall
love that spa-like bath area
love the slide
love that heart shape fern
love the magnificient waterfall that humbled me
love the xiongness in exchange for the beauty
love having made new friends like yumi and fiona
love the "war is over!"" huat ah" "ohmz" "guanyinma""yay yay yay"
love the randomness of sleeping at a playground infested with cow dung
and i love the yummy spread we had after tent washing:) i love food. yums.$6+ eat until jibaboom!
love it when ppl say i zai. wahaha.
love it when i can explore and climb up mossy slopes and slide down. whee~

i love rovers:)

this is our friendly guide who is damn zai but smokes like a chimney."together gether"
i will be seeing him again tmr for stong. wahaha.
looking fwd to stong revisited:)
"a beautiful heart sees everything beautiful" :)

Overtime

morn: little sis made me cry. we cry tgt. when im feeling low, when i down and out i dont't know who i should believe...i believe...someday i will love. someone whos by my side.

lover(reach out)
friend( walk beside)
soulmate(always there behind you)

i recalled where my love for back shots came from.

i wanna hold your hand...
*
tea bone zen cafe:) with zhu and yokey

i miss toytoy.i need Online F.

if there is no love to irrationalise this practical world,
the next best thing would be delusion and lies.
and prolly the most effective crap and rubbish
which is already polluting this mess we're in.

can i order a absolute bf for my 21st?

Saturday, June 13, 2009

是我想太多

how about making a love dish at the penthouse?
if my hubby bot me a penthouse i wont mind making bfast, lunch and dinner for him everyday:))) <3
agent viewing penthouse. love her dior bag.( xt is showing signs of being a 拜金女。)
from the penthouse u can see the merlion, the esplanade, the flyer, the IR, marina bay sands, and during ndp and fireworks. hah, congrats u got the gold class seat:)

the bottom pic is the function room. most likely gonna be the venue of my 21st party:) yay.
ok, the drama is over. :)
lessons learnt:
i realise my fingers have a mind of their own.
im amazed at how crappy they can get.
i have a foreboding feeling that it might land me in trouble.
BOYS just love to crap. (crap=flirt?=stupid=lame) ie. boy=crap.
MEN talk serious and emo.
but a male can be both a man and a boy at the same time.(positivist thinking)
thank you ww so much for listening to me spew vulgarities and emo-ing all the time when i msn u. haha.im slightly surprised at how vulgar and deviant i can get(with my fingers)
ps:
seriously, im not that bad. (nv got D n F b4 i swear!) say say only.
i know u know:)))
note to self:
1. soulmate and lover are most likely gonna be different ppl.
2. infatuation is not love.

i am a moron

curiosity kills the cat.

verdict is:
i have mood swing
i show black face
i am very bad at crapping and continuing crap conversation
i think they must think that i am some weird and sick girl
i think i just destoyed my toy
:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

i feel like an empty hollow shell
desperately despertely wanting to be loved.

i just wanna be a lovable person
am i so unlovable?

i hate myself.