I'm gonna try to be like Chick Bernetto........or maybe abit selfish ? hahahahah

Well, I'm gonna try :)

Seems like what my friend and I used to talk to seems very true.

We realize if we were who we truly are in the past and we're not who we are now. Then we try to go back,
Trying to amend our past mistakes but end up repeating them again.

It's my fault, I'm truly sorry. Whatever your choice of action is, I will accept.

It's spiraling down.
This silence, This sadness,
This pain is bringing us to a place.
where hearts collide and never fixed again.

The effort, the time, was nothing.
Your silence, I'm jumpy
The harsh words, the violence, my patience
made us sink!!
To the depth!!!

So, I go on trying my best. To open the doors.
If I fail, we'll be broken once more.

Abusive relationship can happen to anyone.

......layan......


80% Mortality rate. Break it down, 8/10 of those who has the condition dies .
So 2 people will leave till old age.
Another good reason to change for the better.

Be strong and don't be swayed by Satan. That's all I hope for you.
They're practically smiling happily now that you're adding the salt into injury.
If you don't like people to do that to you, don't start regardless whatever it is.

Mouth and limbs are powerful tools that can drive someone to death.
And satan trying to pull me down again by inciting suicide scenes in my mind.
Fucking assholes.

Insecurity is eating up my heart tonight and I don't like it.

It's icy cold.

And it's draining my warmth.

I'm losing my sight.

And it's getting darker.

Insecurity is eating up my heart tonight and I can't stop it.

Thinking of the sun is not helping.

And thinking of the fire is not helping.

I'm nowhere near them now.

I'm nowhere.

Can't make the sun mine.

And the fire will die out.

Insecurity is eating me up whole and I can't fight it.

We were basically talking about our working life. My godfather is supervisor even though his age has passed the retirement age. On the other hand, I'm a part-time employee at Night Safari while waiting for NS. I have notice that I kinda hate most people from my own race because they're lazy and doesn't wanna learn. When they work, they don't give their all and don't find the reason behind doing a certain thing.

Let's just put office politics and racism aside because it's like everywhere I go I'll hear it. So fuck it. And it's not beneficial to an individual anyway.

Before Malays were commonly known as Muslims, they were practising Hinduism. It may not be exactly Hindu but it's certainly connected to Hinduism. Feelings like jealousy, being envious, treachery and slander within the Malay society were from that period of time till Islam came in. And in Islam, those negativity are the ones that God hates. No, despise would be a better word.

Eg. You hate your colleague who doesn't do his job properly and all he does is shake his legs right? Well, God hates it even more.

Anyway, when Islam came to the Malay community, the negativity should have been abolished but like they say humans have 7 deadly sins. So, humans have to keep those negativity at bay. For Muslims, it would be easier for you to understand if I were to say do anything with sincerity. Everything we do, is because of Him.

Like the prophet says, everything we do in this life is a worship (ibadat...in Malay). Even reading a book, helping your own friend and family members can be reward (pahala).

Eg. We study not because to get praises from others but it's for ourselves and because of Him. Insyallah, we'll get good grades. For non-Muslims, u know which part to cancel to make it more reliable for you :)

Hold on...I haven't touch the part what He does to those who still create slander, treachery, being envious of others and proud. He distant himself from them and their prayers will not be entertained.

With that in mind and let us simplify the whole situation.
In a RPG game, God would be equivalent to your character's LUCK.
And being proud, jealous or even slacking off during a job, will decrease the LUCK attribute.
Putting that into a community where most people proud, jealous, conceited, creates slander and all bull crap. No wonder we're unlucky fools right? Hahaha!

Honestly, I'm no religious man but take it to an individual level, all I'm saying is kick the negativity. Be humble, hungry for knowledge and not lazy when you have a job regardless how small it is.

Tell me what's in you empty brain and enlighten me bout your hate.
Because from where I'm standing, it's nothing more than a piece of bull crap.

Phase 1 Introduction

Phase 2 Getting comfortable with each others' presence

Phase 3 Confession

Then,I went MIA. Met different people but I realize it's sad because it's still one sided. They don't make me jumpy or sad. My mentor's definition; putting a barrier around so you don't feel emotionally hurt.

When we met again, I found out who was the one that make me feel like there is a speck of strength in me, one who plans to go for more than 2 years, to just go for it. Even if it could lead me to depths of despair in the future.

Phase 4 Knowing each other much more in depth.

The story is unfinished and there's challenges ahead. May they will be overcome!!!




Lastly, I HATE YOU FUCKING ALOT!!!!

Just like mother, I've been tricked.

Ouh well, for someone whose bad at trusting few. It's a fit punishment.
I'll get out of this mess. Only few will know but if they were to spread it; that's not my problem.

Okay. Done. :)

Be strong Nash. You're just a nobody. Everyone has a choice.
Envy is normal....don't keep it anymore, just share it.

Stop driving yourself to the brink of insanity.

This blog where hardly anyone reads will be a place for you to vent out.
It's not as much as someone listening to you but every little thing counts right?

Maybe the upcoming blow might kill you though. But knowing yourself, you'll just go ahead with it. Showing others that you're strong mentally, emotionally and physically; when everything settles, your insecurities and negativity will just hit your mind like a tsunami.

Will she eat away the last straw of confidence that's left in your heart? Why are you so eager to wage it?
Do you not care bout what would happen to yourself and also to both of you?
Or have you gone bored with life that you willing to risk it away?
Was it envy that rushes you to this conclusion?
Or was it that your heart aches when she's with another?

When it comes to being professional, you handle it brilliantly. However,when it comes to your life, you let emotions carry you most of the time.

Whatever the future is, I do hope you'll be able to blog again and not a leap of faith to bring a sudden end to what you've done, built and accomplished. The scars that etched in your memories, heart and here...I hope you carry it all till you die of old age.

Yours sincerely,
Nash.

I keep thinking like I've been putting a different masks as I meet different people.
But only those who know me well and are close to me can tell what's beneath the masks because the eyes are not covered.

I'm still searching for my own peace of mind. Still trying to achieve inner peace and certainly, trying to tap on other emotions. The strongest feelings within me are negatives because I'm a negative boy who looks things positively. Contradicts aye? haha!

Life crisis........

My friends told me to make a guy complete is to have passion in what he does and also his love life.

W/o love, he'll be 50%....
There are those who showed me that you don't need a woman at your back and at the same time there are those who showed me that a single woman can make a whole lot difference.

I'm suck at chasing and I get partially scared with the pretty ones whom I'm not so close to. To those I am, well....even if we get all touchy, I'll keep an open mind unless I like em.
Hahaha

Anyway, I'm fucking 20 already and there ain't much time.
Muay thai, work, music, life.......
I'm still thinking how am I gonna juggle with these two major commitments.
I can't run from it and yet I have to decide quick....

The vision of the state he was in....the people around him

It's too much for me to handle and yet I was in that room.
Despite being an outsider, I was hoping for a miracle to happen.
Expecting him to beat the odds.
Even if numbers says it's okay, reality says it's not.
This fight was his last.

The moment his significant other sat at the corner of the bed, I couldn't hold my tears. Movies frequently shows this part but the thing is; in reality, it's worser than you think.

And it aches deep down my heart....
For I never really got to know much in depth about him.
He was a lawyer. Survived through the Jap Occupation by eating sweet tapioca instead of rice. Same age as the MM. A quiet man.
He loved grandma so much that he wanted to die too ever since she returned to the earth....
He left us after he took air hadas for Friday prayers.
It was shocking upon hearing the news. I didnt cried or even cursing....i was just quiet which I mistook myself for being emotionless......

When my grandma died, I was very young. I dont know why everyone was crying. I could still read my comic book...yes, it was dumb of me.
Maybe I am poor in reacting to these kind of events....

When my uncle died, I carried his body from the mortuary into the coffin and to the mosque.....I didn't kiss his forehead because I didnt know if I should...

Even so, the fact that he has no more chances and the clock was ticking to his last breath was really a fucked up thing. Somehow, I'm glad HE took his life before the clock strikes zero. I'm sure any of his siblings, children and grandchildren won't dare to pull the plug on their loved ones.....

One of my friends had to do it and I don't know how fucked he must felt....

Feels like what I've thought would be the best choice turns out to be the worse.

Why am I still playing if it can turn someone full of himself, lose his friends and loved ones. Create more for enemies for him. Even blind those fools who keep thinking musicians earn a lot.

Wake up! They don't earn much and they struggle day to day to meet ends meet.

Now I feel like secluding myself from society. Not because I'm depress, but to put it bluntly, spend more time with my guitar. However, the image I have in my mind is somehow different, playing the guitar in a room. No audience; just you enjoying the melodies you play...........

If I somehow become like Zane......I won't know what to do.....

Make a path of your future.

Decisions you make have different storyline.

1 thing I've tried to endure is regret for not trying and not being decisive.

I've lost the battles but the war is not over until my last breath.

1, you like that person for so long doesn't mean they're the one.

2, feelings spark at the most unforeseen and unthinkable situations.

3, don't hurt the ones you love because it'll give ya sleepless nights.

4, one-sided is sad but true.

5, karma?

If I can lead a squad, it'll be a group of elites where one can kill a lot of foot soldiers and even singlehandedly take down a tank.

Slasher
Door Knocker
Sharpshooter
Nitro


My choice of weapon, samurai sword !!

Imma try it even though I blew my chance.
Not to be in one when your mind, heart and soul are not prepared for it was my motto.

1 thing for sure is that I might still be not prepared for another round but like Z said; opportunity come when you're not prepared.

We're drifting as I'm typing this. Rejection, I'm not afraid but the aftermath is quite scary =.=

Stupid.

I am no one. I am nothing. I am just a normal human being.
Regret runs through me. What's left for me ? What's left for me?

The world has turn it's back on me. There's no place for me.
A man of nowhere.

You've lost key the moment the secret is uttered to the pirate's ear.
The world's treasure is lost forever now.
He have taken it all and the beautiful town has fallen.
The pirate whose eyes are unaligned have gotten hold of the world's treasure.
Everything is lost.
No hope.
Just barren land.

I was expecting a massacre but.........



Yeah, dumb fuck pathetic o' me. Same old story mates.

Cheers and goodnight!

WOOHOO!!! Slack with Hanaffe the whole day yesterday. Got some parts of the 2nd original. Gonna complete my PP chem report which was due on Thursday and I got denied by Haniz earlier on =.=

Damn sad sia. For example, you wanna buy nice waffles from 7-11 but they're cleaning it. YOU'VE BEEN DENIED!

Hahaha! Basically, that's how it was.

Anyway, gonna head back to my reports now.

FUCK THIS SHIT!
Let's circle pit !!

HAHAHA!

I'll try my best to guide you well. Welcome aboard.

True friends make me realize my own mistakes when I don't notice how bad it was.

Music saves lives and change people for the better. I wanna change this place I live in.

So, if you can't be in the same level as me, I don't think I belong with your group.

I have always walked alone. And I'm much prepared to fight and fend for my stand now.

I have always wanna make epic changes and I will change myself for the better.

I put myself in this mess.

Thought it was an easy and simple trouble.

But I'm in deep shit.

Or is it a test for me to decide?

Even so, we are clear of our standings and nothing more than that.

I'll scrape through somehow.

1 more in the bag.

Hearing from two people about ya made me think twice bout everything you told me bout your feelings.

Wake up! You've been lying bout yourself! Come on! Don't tell it's a fucking habit to lie bout your darn self?

That's pathetic. You're weak the moment you're telling lies bout your own personality. Come on man. What's there be a shame of yourself? Wait, don't tell me that you're doing this to have a connection with your friends. Trying to get a common topic? Or is it too gay bout being true to your own fucking self?

I've just read a damn touching story on FB. It made me rethink of my mistakes I've done in the past.

I definitely was being insensitive during that point of time and the story was somehow similar to mine but I had a choice which I had clearly see. Despite that option, I blew it. Didn't put enough thoughts to it. Indeed, I was being hasty. Apologizing is not enough. I think the harakiri would be the best.

It's all over now. I could go back but I chose not to.

Zane, I've found my source. :)

To those of you thinking that I'm strong, I'm not. Just like any other humans, I break down. Just like any other people, I have my own busted moments. Just like any of you, I wish for the better.

I live by the quote BROS BEFORE WHORES. I've lost a bro which made me damn sad and that led to the lost of someone who is like my best friend (there were other factors also). They say life works in threes and I've lost like one or two more maybe?

Bottom line is that cherish everyone unless you can see that they're bunch of fucked up peeps or endlessly lying bout themselves.

Hahaha! I can't believe how much a touching story can make me rant xD
For those who are reading this, I'm alright. Just inner thoughts.

I just heard an awesome song that pierced my heart.
I feel you dude.
Hope what you sang is exactly what you're doing right now =]

Sadly, I don't fix things. I just let em be.
Last lesson I've learn from life itself.

And what's keeping me alive are music and my dreams.

Yesterday was my 1st and last fight for what I know at the moment. I realize hat I made a lot of mistakes even though I won it. Like they say life's a learning journey.

Saunders don't be upset by the defeat. Rise up and train hard. Learn your mistakes. I'm sure you'll be a better athlete. May we meet again in the ring or even sparring session. Just give me a call if you want my assistance. ^^

Let's go people !!!

Wear your mask and become Vizard !!

I'm doing the same to everyone. It's getting hard for me to even tell the difference. Is it a good or bad thing ? Oo

It's my time to shine. All my bros who have nurtured me. I thank you deep down from my heart. My victory is also yours and my defeat is due to my negligence.
Thank you so much guys.

BANKAI!!!

If both ends wanna be tough, what would you do ?

Just beat the fuck up of both sides so it'll be peaceful.

[IMG]http://i396.photobucket.com/albums/pp42/ubinman/ghost-1.jpg[/IMG]

Why am I so idealistic ? Oo
Craving for such perfect world ?

No hate/wars/racism and all other shits.

Ouh well, I've observed enough specimens and the bottom line remains unchanged.

Yes, there are some who changed me be it for the better or for the worse.

But the numbers are still not convincing enough :D
And why am I talking like my old self?
Very philosophical..i don't know.

Stereotyping humans and yet not forgetting their differences.....

Okay I'm lost. What's this post about? Oo

You might not know how sad I was when I found out what you've been through.
Wish I could at least be physically there to help you out.
This is life right ?

Fight it with all you've got since everything is on the line.
Remember that you're not alone. :)

Sometimes blessing comes in a form of a loss
And sometimes loss comes in a form of blessings.

-heard that quote on okto ^^

Don't get me wrong I just have a lot of things to do now.

So.....NYAHAHAHAHAHA :P

I hate this contradictions of mine.

Despite all that hatred, all of it would be gone for a moment when the good times are being recalled. FUCK SIA!


Okay, go back to grumpy mode now >,,,,<

Sorry,

I've screwed my throat.

Sorry to those I've hit.


Became paranoid when I got smacked on the lips..hahahaha!


King of the pit......That's peter :D

Life and people have taught me a lot.


Soon, I have to take the great leap.


So, I must not lose sight of my aim.


It won't be easy but that's life.


Nothing is and those easy ones comes with something great to bear later on.


Like some of my friends told me, the faster you reach the top, the faster and harder you'll fall.


Of course, some instances are an exception :)

The melody we use to sing !!

What happen to it ?

Where has it gone ?

I don't like what I see now.

But what can I do?

To change a mass to go back how it use to be.

I'm no leader. Just a someone who thinks differently.

Cheers.

This screwed up society has screwed my mind.

Slowly values are being eroded away.
Evil becomes good and the good becomes evil.

So, do you have what it takes to draw the line ?

There's no heroes in this world.

All you got is yourself to save yourself.

The last lesson that you taught me.

Stop ______ others :)

My variation; Depends....nyahahahahaha!

I like performing on stage.....the crowd, the lighting, getting everyone watching pumped up but somehow, I'll be in a world of my own....where not many people know.
It's like I became someone else.

My stats are all increased. As though I'm in overdrive mode...hahahaha
Even so, timing is very important. Right bro ? :)

May I tear the pit up later and sleep with a smile........

Fuck you !!!

Now, something that gave me life is hanging on thread.

Thank you !
Seriously I thank you. Hopefully I dont break your head when I see you in school.

If the bottle collapse,


throw it into the bin :D

I'm fucking psyched !!!!
FUCKING PSYCHED!!!
Need to have my fun.
Heheheheheehehehhehee

Even though the young ones were quite irritating,


Somehow I miss seeing them again...hahahaha!!!

Not a good friend,


Musician,


Guitarist,


Screamer,


Songwriter,


Student,


Son,


Brother,


Friend


And lastly, fighter.


I've tried my best to be somebody but no matter what I do, I'm a nobody.


Mistook this for a post desiring fame for all I care.


Fame's last on my mind.


All I'm doing now is walking through memory lane.

Within darkness there's peace and tranquility,



Within it too came along insanity and distraught,



All of it is kept within the vessel,



A walking terror.

Irritating to a point you wanna replace it with a physical pain.



Annoying to a point that you'll always be troubled.



Pain in the ass to a point you need a different kind of release.



Safe to a point you won't be sinking any further down.

An incomplete release.



An annoying curse.



Only one who could lift it momentarily



Or would you seize yourself to lift it for eternity?

The gig was awesome. We might not be as brutal as our pioneers but we are the most of active band aren't we, my brothers? ^^
Hehehehehe!!!!

Anyway, it took me to a place where I only I can reach when I'm playing live be it guitar or screaming. Despite being wary and aware of what I'm playing, I get too hyped for anyone to handle. That place literally became our playground and we played like no one's business..HAHAHHAA!!

Thought there were other hardcore bands but there were none. Ouh well.




Chatting with 2 different kind of people.
1) Takes your mind off it but the pain's still there.
2) You'll feel better even if it's not gonna be forever.

I'm freaking psyched for tomorrow!!!
however, not that sure if my throat is.

Ouh well, I'll tear my throat tomorrow if i must to get the sound I want ^^

That's how crazy I can be.
hehehe

They say things in life happens in threes.



Let's see if they're right.

Swimming in the lake,



Looking at the sun shining above it,



The raccoon tries to capture it.

The loud haler's spoil.

Damnn......

Slowly but surely ................ ^^

I wanna board a UFO and travel through space !!!


That's gotta be AWESOME!!


Imagine seeing earth and you can shoot it as though you're playing Alien Invasion...hehehehhe

The engine's dying,




Tires are flat,




And the honks doesn't even sounds right.




Soon, the body will corrode.




Such a waste to exotic cars to die in such a manner.

The vessel shall be used till it's worn out.
Then, dumped in the heap of trash.

Link Static: Sir! Nitro's been smoked out, SIR!



Chip Hazard: What did you say soldier?



Brick Bazooka: We're only capable of retrieving his top half, sir.



Chip Hazard: Am I talking to you?



Brick Bazooka: I'm sorry, sir.



Chip Hazard: Alright men! Bring him along.



Kip Killigan: But.....*cut short of Chip Hazaard*



Chip Hazard: No buts soldier. I don't leave my men behind to die!!!!
Now move out!!!

Aries went in front of Leo and shouted," You dare to make a fool out of him? I shall end your life here even if it shall bring me to the dark side!! "


He leaped towards the Queen of Doom and the battle between them started. Leo watched the battle helplessly as his legs were firmly rooted on the ground.

In an alley stricken with poverty,




A child yearning for rainbows and sunshine.

The chair is in a bad condition.





No carpenters are nowhere to be seen.

The scissors were blunt.


THANK GOD!! xD

Even if a cat leaves the house,





It'll return back to it's comfy environment.

A brave mouse wasn't afraid to return home where its families are waiting for it.



But the sky will rain on the earth.

Droplets of water falls into the hole.





And echoes were never heard at all.

The boy is playing with his toy so happily.





But he doesn't wanna share it with YYYYYOOOOOUUUUUUOU~~~!!!




Selfish kid..............

The grandfather's clock is grasping for air

As the sun goes down,




And thus, the demons shall rise.

The tied red and blue strings,




Are in the middle of the scissors.




PLEASE!!!!



DON'T CUT THEM!!!



I BEG YOU!!! >.<

Brothers in the same plight,




One on a standstill




And the other is trapped.

An ant was drowning,




But it was saved by a new tribe.




However, the tribe betrayed it




And it almost got killed.





The waters cushion its leap of death,




And drowning is its fate again.

A tile surrounded with force field,
Standing in the middle,
Brings a Jedi to a whole new battleground.

Flat tires leading a dying engine.
And at a distance,
A sharpshooter waiting for it's chance.

3rd day of school is one that I like the most because of my General Elective Module!!!
Discovering Music is AWESOME!! I'm having so much fun ^^
HEHHEHE

Too bad the lecturer didnt play deathcore/metalcore/hardcore songs. I would go crazy just by listening the intro ^^
LMAO!!

I just feel fucked up that I couldn't give ya my last respects.

Rest in peace for you're the most slackiest uncle i've ever met.

When it gets tough for you, don't hesitate to call/text me. I'll be there for you like how you did for me.

He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, and he who has one enemy shall meet him everywhere

What does that mean to you my friends/followers/passer-bys/unknowns ?

I had a hard time searching the meaning of the quote even on google and the best answer I got was no other than my mum.

Have to give credits to her since she was from a good school but the way she thinks sucks and fucked up sometimes....no, most of the time.

Anyway, it means when you're in need, they'll never be there even if you had a million friends :)

Many knows me as the guy who is daring, crazy and hyperactive =]

When the curtains calls, what will become of my performances ?

By the way, why do you change to suit with the other party whom you're dating ?

Watch out for treacherous waters and be on double guard for the thing living in it

Shit happens and too bad you can't see my value on the invisible price tag :D

If I can control time right now, I wanna fast forward to SATURDAY!! hahaha!

Alright, I'm freaking bored and shag now. T.T

Kinda disappointed with myself for quite sometime.

One moment I think of exterminating humanity and the other I start thinking of suicides =.=

I'm screwed because of my paper tomorrow.......looking through the past year papers; ALL SO TOUGH !!

Only Through br00tality have I found strength

Like some of my friends, we are deprived from motivation.

Giving up isn't all about being weak and fragile.

Sometimes giving up also means we are strong enough to let go.

- Alyssa Madjelisi

Okay, I kinda just reached home ^^

It's like a rock band, it comprises of many instruments,
lead instruments and rhythmic

To Zee, Lena and Ffe

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY!!!!

I think I've been quite pathetic, insecure and annoying lately.

Yesterday went swimming instead of jamming. I really hope jamming wont clash with thomas' schedule.

Good afternoon all ^^

WAH!!! My mum's being an asshole now. Left the house and left it in the condition I wanted to be. >.<
Ouh well, soon soon =]

Scream, sing until you're alright.
Next step is BR00TAL!!!

Tired siolz =.=

Study has arrived and I'm already on a holiday mood.
Fucking shit burger!!!

Malik, I'm not being random. Okay, maybe i did. But i hugged ya because I just felt like it ^^

Okay....practise screams now

SN2 reaction is very unique.

This random thought came into my mind as I was walking to the train station this morning.

Went to gig at blackhole today and there was pretty much miscommunication between Amylove and I. I felt quite bad after finding out that she has bought a ticket for me after I've bought it!! However, on the way home, Andy told me to think that she bought for me and I've spent 10 bucks on nothing....lolx

Come to think about it.

It was just supposed to be a harmless prank between us but instead after I've replied your message, I fucked my own mind.

HAHAHAHA!!! so many posts in 1 day !!

You wanna know something?

Yesterday went to Pasir Ris park with Amy love, Enaa, Darrel, Nizam, Zyzy and Intan.

So far, life's been a bitch. Seriously.

Okay mates,

HAHAHHA!!

Sorry for not updating my blog lately. Been effing busy. Anyway, my IVP has been pushed to August (CHIBAI!!!)

WOOHOO!! just now reach 100 posts sia!!

I did my own investigation to find this dude and to my dismay, he happens to be my friend.

I wanna tell her this but i can't bring myself to it.

Gosh !! I had an awesome start for 2010 !!

1st and foremost, gig was effing awesome!! hahaha!! see my pics on fb ^^

Thank you everyone who was at Blackhole yesterday. I really had a great time and knew a lot more people ^^

I'm moving forward with heart shut closed.

.......I feel so discouraged again...........

Yea, what the fuck ?!?!?!

BAYBEATS IS TOMORROW PEOPLE!!! hahaha

BARRICADE is gonna perform at 7.30pm and on the last day there'll be FOR BETTER ENDINGS!! ^^

Gosh, my seniors are way more passionate than I am. Just you guys wait for my band's debut performance =]

DRUMMER O DRUMMER! Where have thy been hiding all this while ?
Shall my band's songs shake your desire to conqure this world.
okay...i'm crapping now. :D

2 papers down and I left 2 more!!!
After that, I've got attachment.....>.<
And I wont tell ya where :P
hehehe

If you ask, maybe I will...lmao!!

Anyway, had a hard time sleeping last night.
So, i started writing another song but I can't find the right words. Maybe because my mind's all over the place and I didn't concentrate on the main idea.

Hope to complete it by this holidays because the ending that I've got is so AWESOME!! Freaking ORIGINAL TO THE CORE!! :D
hehehe

To my mates whom are performing for that big event, ALL THE BEST GUYS :)
Do support when my band make its maiden voyage in the local music scene. We're a bunch of busy people and I HATE IT!!! >.<

Well yesterday was Singapore's 44th birthday i think. hahaha
Dont really give a damn about it. Right coach ? :D

Anyway, Azirwan, Yani and Ffe were supposed to be there but all of em back out at the 11th hour. Nevermind, both Tom and I are nothing. We are not girls with hot bodies and we don't have a pussy. Just dicks; and It's really hard to get pussy nowadays you know (Bobby's tone). Especially for chaotic people like us. So we understand why they can't make it. We really do.

In addition the cliche sentences, "Bros before whores" or even "Sis before dicks", they are just fakes. We call each bros or even sis when we forgotten their names. So, it's totally fine. We are still friends but maybe won't be that close. Futhermore, to celebrate this once in a lifetime event together with your significant other, is something that is quite rare. You can never foresee what's going to happen in the future.

Even if my twin and I are just reserved friends, we're okay with it. Just call us when you need us. We'll be there for ya. Don't worry :]


Back to the story !!! Woke up in the morning just to play game...lmao !!
Met Tom at about 4.40 as I had some school work to settle before leaving the house.
Both of us had ayam penyet. (Nurul's fav dish...surprisingly, i still remember.)
On the way to get a drink, met with 3 of Twin's friends; Samuel, Fabian and Norman.
They really such funny people and awesome too. xD
Fabian went back to his friends when we got out MSQ and waited for the fireworks to light up the bloody dark sky. Before he went off, Samuel and Tom lashed him with great physcological attacks. It made me laughed till I drop to th floor. HAHAHAHHA!!!

When the moment came, some of the fireworks got blocked by the buildings and cheers filled the air. There was a short moment for National Day jerk off. Unlike New Year's day, this was the nation's birthday. Gotta keep it short. RESPECT!! xD
And after that all that, fabian joined us and we walked around MSQ in search for a place to eat as Norman was quite famished. Went to the 2nd floor and it was really crowded at the 1st floor. We laughed at em....I know we are bad but HAHA!
Heard from some people that someone spat on the crowd. FUCKING IDIOT! You want me to whack your fucking stupid ass and spit on you ? No one knew who it was. Grr..fag. Dare to hide underneath their mum's skirt after causing chaos.

My not-so-epic moment was two-stepping along to one of the National Day song for a moment. hahaha!!
Got no idea if anyone was watching me xD
hehehe

In the end, we settled down at Suntec. Samuel literally can't stop singing. Went on and on even though he's eating !! xD
hahaha
Then we went back home. It might sound that fun from reading what I've written about it but it's one of the awesome day I had.

Hope to see em again for New Year's Day and also Ffe, Yani, Azirwan and Fido.
New Year's Day JERK OFF!!! lmao !!

Ps if this post is too vulgar for ya to read and dont like it. Dont read..hahahah

Alright. This morning, I slept late as usual BUT I was doing my work !!! Not playing games..hahaha

This post is just to prevent my blog from rotting. Then again, it has always been rotting =]

Hmmmm...what was I suppose to write in this post. I totally forgot bout it xD
lmao !

OUH YAR!!! Im finally going to get asnakebites. Supposed to go and get it today BUT i was so tired due to yesterday's training!! hahaha

What Reddy said was really true. IT WAS REALLY TIRING!! ><
Or was it because im OUT OF SHAPE!!
lolx

I cant even do 30 tiger push ups.....NOOB!! haish
Training just now and I still owe em 50 more push ups.
Sparred and did padworks.....FUCKING HELL!!!

I became like a blur ass..hahaha
Maybe i've lost the touch for being MIA all the time...haish.
I WILL IMPROVE!! Further more I have a physical test next year !! SHIT!! ><

Ouh yar! I learn a new game called I LOVE YOU GAME!! woohoo!! haha
DAMN FUNNY!!! xD
wakakaka!
Shall spread the game..kukuku


Apart from that, Im part of the upcoming Muay Thai Camp. Anyone interested, please join :D
I'll be a group leader AGAIN! hahaha
Have to teach em the basics.

Then, there's nightwalk i guess. Short of crew. Shall seek ASSISTANCE!! ^^
That's all for now. Busy me !! Learning, tutoring, training and composing...lmao !
Okay...i shall zip it for now. WIll not speak anymore. NIGHTS ALL!!

OKAY PEOPLE CORRECTIONS!!

ALL MEMBERS MUST FROM SP!! CLEAR!! ALL!! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YA !! =)

OUH YAR !! I'VE FORGOT!! THOSE WHO WANNA PERFORM AT SP AUDITORIUM MAY INFORM ZANE AT 91170174

ANY GENRE!

AT LEAST 1 MEMBER IS FROM SP!!!

BE IT INDIVIDUAL OR BAND !!! ALL ARE WELCOME! IT IS TO HELP A COURSEMATE WHO HAd MET WITH AN ACCIDENT WHICH LEFT HIM IN A COMA.....

SO GRAB YA MATES AND EQUIPMENTS!

PLAY FOR A GOOD CAUSE ^^V

Alright MATES!!!

So sorry for not updating all of ya about the 1st day of school in year 2 xD
lmao !!

Anyway, IT WAS SO SHIONG!!! At the end of the lessons, i was VERY VERY tired ><
Despite being tired,, I just chill and go out o have lunch with my dear Sparda. Some of em unfortunately can't make it...nevermind. Next time ^^

My new classmates are quite alright. I hope there's no such stupid case as Elfa experienced and also politics. Even though we will somehow experience it sooner or later part of our life, I DONT WISH TO EXPERIENCE IT AT ALL!!!
hahahaha

Some of my lecturers are funny while some think so higly bout themselves xD

2nd nothing much happened. xD
hahaha!!
Went to Vivo after class to get a free cone from Ben's and Jerry but the long queue kinda ade me feel disheartened xD
hahaha!!

It's okay lar. NEXT TIME!!! I'll just buy one...lmao !
Chilled at Vivo with abi, bao ren, mega, zane and blah blah (too tired and lazy to type)
Before going back home

TODAY!!!

The lectures for FO chem quite draining !!! I fell asleep during Chemical Engineering Principles..lmao !!

2nd blood !! hehehe

After that had lunch with my classmates before meeting my lil sis ^^
The performance today okay-okay.
Comments, learn dynamics and improve on your showmanship ^^

At about 3pm, had lunch /dinner again BUT with CLS peeps this time round xD
hahaha
I hid Kash jacket and he LOST appetitte to eat xD
hahaha!!
so funny !!
After that, studied with Zane and Alin before going home at about 6pm xD
hahaha

Okay....Im tired..till here
And sorry for making this post sounds dull
Haish....

Yesterday went to Pasir Ris to get DRACONIAN!!!! WOOHOO!!! hehehe

Met Tina for the 1st time...hahahaha
She was late BUT I know someone who comes later....right Pandy? x]

She knew it was me because of my hair ><
SHIT!!! I wanna record her shout something...hahaha
Got the idea from Zane when he posted about the Sentosa outing and the phrase well, from her own post...hahaha

Then we went off to Mac-Cafe. Guess what peeps, I FORGOT TO BRING CASH ALONG!!! hahaha!!! ><
OI TINA! Next time we meet, I'll treat you a drink from the cafe..hahaha
That's my thanks for the drink and food would be Fried PORK Rice. SET? xD
She got alot of awesome songs!!! woohOOO!! hahaha
Anti-flag, Arch enemy, Local bands and many more.
I didn't take the whole songs in her laptop because I wanna listen and get used to ones I have 1st...hehehe

Waited for Zul aka Alastor for like 3 hours !! hahaha
At 5pm, he called and said he's on his way but he reached Downtown East at about 8pm xD
hahaha!!
Another guy who comes way later than Pandy now..hahaha

So while waited for him, she played pet society while i chilled...should have brought my stationaries and song writing book ><
Nevermind....
Then we took pics. Few pics looked like DAJJAL xD

When he arrived at Downtown, I thought he was cocky at first but he's actually a funny guy and quite fun to talk to xD
Face...expressionless
Laugh...emotionless
LMAO!!!

So, from the cafe we went off to a nearby block and she just left her phone on the table =.=
It was a good thing that I TOOK IT!! haha
Since I LOVE to pull pranks on others, the chance was there...kukukuku
At the bus stop, then she realise that the her phone is not with her.
I wanna control my laugh and thought of making her go ALL THE WAY BACK to the Cafe to look for it..LMAO!!
Since I'm a "GOOD SAMARITAN", I just it back to her without her walking back to the cafe...hahaha!!

And I got knee-ed by her!!! ><
Ain't that painful :P
hahaha

Hang out with em till 9pm before heading back home together. I had a great day...hahaha
May we meet next time guys ^^
On the 16th May gig and also Rosewood's EP launch =)
Till then, TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF!!
Especially Snake =.=
Hahaha

Woke up damn late today till i didn't go for Friday prayers and couldn't meet up with lil sis to start working on the next song. Nevermind, I can do it over the weekends.

Ouh yar, I let Wilfred hear our demo even though it's still in its initial stages. Despite the harsh feedbacks, he gave me ideas to improve it and I now have quite abit of ideas in doing so. Not only that, he made me fall in love with Eyes Set To Kill...lmao !
Gonna listen to As I Lay Dying soon. Any more...hmmm...not really.

Gonna meet Snake tomorrow to get Draconian songs...WOOHOO!! lolx
Hopefully we able to meet and get the songs xD
hahaha

Anything to say.......
Ouh, Lil sis wanna join Singapore Idol if I'm joining. Shit =.=
hahaha
I want her to join if she feels that she's ready. As more, I DOUBT I'M CUT FOR IT!!
Nevertheless, no harm trying right?
BUT it'll be on the freaking telvision!! ><
Good thing the coin landed tails when I flip it xD
I'll join the next season or when I feel I'm abit ready for it...hahaha

Yesterday (16 April)

I went to the FO party at SP concourse with Zane, Anita, Hui Xian, Gerard, Jia Jia and Christian. Bao ren and Vinolia joined us later that night. I came to school way too early..hahah
At least I had time to have my brakfast/lunch xD
lolx!!!

Met with Jenn by coincidence and accompanied her to 7-11 to buy chocolate ^^
My FAVOURITE!! Ferrero Rocher!! lolx!!

Then, we waited for the rest including those who are part of Sparda. Choon Meng brought along his classmates. That's a good idea seriously. So that they won't feel awkward when coming to the clubhouse if they want to..lolx
Apart from that, at least his classmates got a jab of our randomness and hyperness..muahhaha
Not my fault if they became very very crazy...hehehehe

At 4.30pm, the food corner were open. Took pics, talked with some of the year 1's including my friends from secondary school, kias, my "nephews" and "nieces". Made new friends...lolx!!!
When the party started at abot 5pm, the 1st performance was by Adib's band. They played Power Ranger theme song and Rock you like a Hurricane. I enjoyed the head banging session/ The 2nd band Slathe. They were quite good. Guess what did I do during their last song...
Two step!!! lmao !!

After that game session and when it's time to dance, I feel like a fucking poser...LMAO!!!
Me and tom i think....a guy from DPAE who wanted to join muay thai...we hardcore dance and add breakdance to it !!!
LMAO!!!
SHIT!! seriously, i feel like a fucking poser..hahaha
nevertheless, i enjoyed myself AND someone thought i'm a chinese again =.=
I'm VERY VERY DARK!! GEEZ!!! hahaha
Don't tell me that it's because of my hair..hahaha!!!

After that, went to Clementi to have dinner at Mac before heading back home.
I've enjoyed the part BUT i hate the part where they asked everyone to sit down.....
Up to ya....Can't wait toreally hardcore dance again xD
hahaha!!!

That's all.

Nights all ^^

First and foremost, THANKS A LOT ZANE AND SEBASTIAN FROM JENIAL!!!!

Not to forget my mates who have been supporting about my band and me..lolx
Sounds like i've made it big but seriously thanks to all of ya ^^

The band's 1st demo is half way done!!!
WOOHOO!!! hahahaha

The title is still.....unknown..hahaha!!
Seriously I don't give a damn when I'm writing a song. Anyway, went to Zane's crib at noon.
I kind of came there unprepared..hahaha!!
But with Zane's help, the guitar riffs are quite awesome...hahaha
Sebas took care of the basslines. Thank you!!!

My lil sis help me alot with the riffs too. She's the one who's gonna sing anyway.
Zai, my bro, he helped out with the idea for the intro of the song..hehe
Thanks dude.

The 1st demo only has vocals, guitars and bass. The drums well...later..hahaha
The band is lack of drummer !!! ROAR!! ><
Okay, Im hoping to be able to perform for Sara's Vietnam event but not sure if the song fit the occasion AND if the last empty slot would finally be filled. xD
hahaha

Anyway, it will undergo improvisation till we feel that it's awesome..haha
Nothing ambitious currently and my screams sucks..lmao!
ZAI!! hurry up and replace my screams with yours..hahaha!!!
That's all for today mates^^
Tomorrow not really sure if I could come down and help out..haish =.=
If there's training tomorrow, see ya there then.
Muahaha

2 fucking awesome events that happened in a row. Thought of writing about em in two different post but i was so freaking tired on Friday night xD

-10/04/2009-
To those who thinks I don't go for Friday prayers, I actually DO alright !!!
hahaha
It's because of my piercing and timetable that I didn't went for Firday prayers during my holidas and my 2nd semester. Anyway, went to Al-syafaah at Sembawang. After that, rest at home before gong to FAD studio at Bugis.

I missed Deafening Silence performance..FUCK!!! hahaha
2nd band was AGAINST ALL TYRANTS!!! The place was fucking cramp with cameramen / women and also it's packed till the end of the room !!! ><
They ended their set with GONE FISHING, SEE YOU NEXT YEAR by Gwen Stacy.

After that, IVORY!!! Awesome band..their original is really nice. Check em out on myspace...there's a part of the song i really like a lot xD
They ended with STICK STICKLY by ATTACK ATTACK!
SO COOL!! We were all practically dancing when the techno part. I got pushed till i drop when I wanna hardcore dance =/
What else...hmmm
OUH!! I GOT TO SCREAM!!! hahaha
Thanks a lot Yan ^^

After em was I Killed Kenny. Nothing much i can say except that people disturb Ben as he's small and Wayne fell on his back durng the 2nd last song. Guess who was in front of him....
A GIRL IN SKIRT!!! hahah
I laughed when I saw it because it's like he's trying to peep through her skirt xD
Lmao

Anyway, next was Her Silent Wish. They didn't played to Hell and Back =(
hahaha
Their last song was....HTML RULEZ DOOD.
The whole place hardcore dance....both front and back xD

During For The Better Ending set, the everyone was like trying to tear that motherfucking place up...hahahaha
I sweat like a pig xD

While waiting for Blindfold Heroes to perform, I went out to cool off and hydrate myself. I made new friends !! hahaha
Charlie....and forgot the other two guys name...shucks ><
Went back home with Ary and got to know that she knew Feroz!! Small world...hahhaa
Ouh yar, something funny happened.
She had a headache. I actually wanna ask if she had knocked her head on something. However, i said, " Knock ya head." So, she just knocked it without hesistating.
.....moment of silence.....
Me: Why did you hit your head?
Ary: You told me too.
Me: No. I was asking ya..OMG!! HAHAHAHA!!! SHOULD HAvE CAPTURED THAT ON VIDEO AND POST IT ON YOUTUBE AND FACEOOK! lolx

All the hardcore dancing and moshing has result abrasion!!! OMG!!! T.T
Haish....

=11 April 09=
Woke up at about 8.10am today. Rushed to pack my bag and get ready to meet Zane, Calista and Sheralin at Admiralty MRT station. The abrasion has gotten abit better.
Ate at subway for the 1st time...lolx
I was really not use to the way to order your sandwich so Sheralin helped me out. She recommened some nice sauces and toppings xD
I had tuna ^^
lolx
It was a 6 inch long sandwich....it feels like Whooper....okay, maybe even lesser than that. At least Whooper will make my stomach 1/4 or 1/2 filled but the sandwich....IT'S NOT EVEN THAT FILLING!! hahaha
I doubt footlong can satisfy me...hahaha!!
Wang Chang's stomach is way lower than mine but both of us usually have the same reaction after a few minutes of eating.
"I'm hungry."
hahahah!!!

After that went up to the 3rd floor to meet the rest of the year 1's, GLs, GMs and Seniors.
We broke up into 2 groups because there were really alot of us and the tram aint that big to fit us all in it xD
hahaha!!
While finding a spot for all of us, meet up with my twin near 7-11..SO HAPPY!!! Been quite a long time since i last saw him. He's having Industrial Training Programme (ITP) and he's attached with a company which is organising the upcoming Youth Olympic ^^

While at Sentosa I played volleyball, frisbee, threw people into the water, played monkey in the water, swam, sparred with Charles for a while and talked to Sharmaine, Priscilla abit, Kash, Cai Hong, Carolyn, Thuzar and not to forget MY KIAS!!!! ^^

Ouh yar, my laopo threw sand into my eye when I carried her to the water =.=
I know you don't wanna go in but there's no need to be violent T.T
hahaha
2nd time sand entered my eye and this time was the worse back when I was in primary 6 or 5 xD

Ouh, my thighs got cramped while I was swimming. It was a good thing that I was not far away from the shore and there was Wang Chang to help me out...PHEW!!! hahaha

Then it started to pour at about 4 or 5 plus. We waited at the interchange and we CHEERED while waiting for it to end ^^
Hahhaha
PUBLIC NUISANCE!! lmao
So sad that not many could do the screamo version of bom cheeka bom xD lolx

Washed up and went to vivo to have our dinner. We ate at the grand stand..and suddenly, out of nowhere....A CHEER BATTLE BETWEEN CLS AND TPSU..lolx
We are just a club and they were like occupying more than half of the seats xD lolx

While they were cheering, my twin and I hardcore danced and danced to their rythm..LOL!!!
You should see it really. Damn hilarious. Provocking em ? Hmmm...think so. They were supposed to stop but they kept on repeating their cheers...C'mon man !!! hahaha
There's a start and an end to EVERYTHING. Like it or not...it's gotta end.
I thought 3 cheersfor em would stop them frm cheering but they started it again..OMG!! AGAIN!! PLEASE!! STOP IT!!! hahaha

I think my kias know why i called him my twin. We're both are WAY crazy for others to comprehend xD
hahaha
During the camp, I held back abit because if I went all out, it won't be their camp. It'll be mine. I had my Freshmen Orientation Camp last year. Even though after the camp, I have a bit regret of not helping em about the cheers but it's past now. ^^
hahaha...my randomness lives in my songwriting. I can make a song about everything but the beat kinda took from somewhere else. Unlike japanese singers, they can really write about anything ><

Back to teh story...hahaha

Someone suddenly kicked a ball to them. They thought it was one of us and one of em was about to confront us. Fortunately, he was stopped by the group leaders. Thank god. My bloody side was just about to come out but if that do happen.
OUH THE BLOOD! OUH THE BLOOD! OUH THE MASSACRE!! hahaha
Not really boasting or anything. You should know what happens when you let rage take over your mind. Imagine you're controlling your rage and letting it out with every hit you can give to your opponent. Most likely, you'll aim somewhere that will kill him. If you dont make him fall, there'll be like 10 or even more hitting you. So you gotta make 1 blow, 1 kill kind of strategy to stay alive.

To em, really good job in getting the numbers guys. You're way fucking better than SPSU..lmao
1000+ participants for Freshmen Orientation Camp...hahahaha!!!
Try to beat that xD
Anyway, with numbers you could fill the air with your voices BUT!!! you forget another aspect of cheering. IT'S NO USE IF PEOPLE CAN'T HEAR IT!!! hahaha
It's was really unclear adn became a public nuisance. =/
Other than that, gotta be able to control em. That was just 1 person and I know the others kinda feel pissed off too. 1 dared to make the move and the rest hold grudges...hmmmm
If a riot starts, can you guys stop it? Stop em before they meet the 2 Grim Reapers from CLS xD
Just kidding..hahaha

After that, we started to move because we don't want the innocet to get hurt.
Haish...i was walking slowly as i ate the fries from burger king...hahaha
Oe of the Seniors was like " EH, Nash hurry up. One of em told me they wanna start beating someone up."
My reply was, " SO?" hahaha
I know finding trouble...lolx

Went back home after that. Tomorrow, I feel like gathering the KNA to attack. SO BORED!! hahaha

Ouh yea..gonna record the band's original in about 10 hours time at Zane's crib xD hahaha
SO EXCITED!! Oky.. i hould go to bed now.
Nights all ^^

Ouh yar, the pictures of the Sentosa outing is on FACEBOOK!! lolx