Australia might not let Chris Brown in

Australia's Immigration Minister is being encouraged to refuse an entry visa to Chris Brown, on account of his domestic violence:

Australian Minister for Women Michaelia Cash, speaking alongside Turnbull at an event in Canberra highlighting new government efforts to fight domestic violence, urged Immigration Minister Peter Dutton to bar the performer.

"People need to understand that if you are going to commit domestic violence and then you want to travel around the world there are going to be countries that say to you, 'You cannot come in because you are not of the character we expect in Australia'," Cash told reporters.

It would be an important signal to the wider world, although recently Australia has had something of a reputation for not allowing anyone in at all.

Girl Band banned

Girl Band were meant to be slaying New York next week. Visa problems have put paid to that.

That's US embassy visas; not massive post-Christmas credit card bills.

Michael Jackson tribute turning into poorly-executed shambles

When they said they were going to pay tribute to Michael Jackson, who knew they were going to focus on the 'quite often didn't turn up and when he did it was disappointing' aspects of his career.

Parts of the plan have been dropping off like arms falling from a Thriller Zombie. We've had Kiss quit after they remembered how they'd slagged Jackson off.

Yesterday, the Black Eyed Peas announced they won't be in Wales this weekend:

"Due to unavoidable circumstances, the Black Eyed Peas will be unable to perform at this Saturday's Michael Forever event," said Chris Hunt, head of Global Live Events which is staging the concert.

Hey - "unavoidable circumstances" is no way a sign that they couldn't even be arsed to come up with an excuse.

Today, domestically violent Chris Brown said he wouldn't be coming, either, as he couldn't get a visa. But just as the organisers of Michael Forever were absorbing this good news came another problem: the company which had promised to run the gig as a pay-per-view event through Facebook has said it won't be:

Due to legal challenges brought by the music labels that own the rights to Michael Jackson’s lyrics, we have been notified by concert promoters Global Live Events and Ridgeline Entertainment that the live Facebook broadcast of the Michael Forever tribute concert has been cancelled. As the technology provider behind the live Facebook broadcast, Milyoni will fully refund all customers who pre-purchased access to the concert using Facebook Credits or PayPal.

“While social media presents a new opportunity for artists and concert promoters to reach global audiences, it is still a new and disruptive frontier ripe with challenges. Milyoni will continue to work closely with our music and entertainment partners to pursue this new channel of distribution, beneficial to both artists and fans worldwide.”

That's literally several people being mildly disappointed.

Mogwai on hold

Earlier this week it was the Pipettes; this week, visa problems have forced forced Mogwai to rearrange a US tour. The April dates are off; they're hoping to play in October instead.

Blocked Pipettes

Space age? No problem. Jet age? Not so simple. The Pipettes have had to rejig their US tour dates after "visa problems".

The dates are now:

April 2011

Wed 20 - New York, NY - Mercury Lounge
Thu 21 - Philadelphia, PA - North Star Bar
Fri 22 - Hoboken, NJ - Maxwell's
Sat 23 - Washington, DC - Red Palace
Mon 25 - Chicago, IL - Schuba's Tavern
Fri 29 - Vancouver, BC - Venue
Sat 30 - Portland, OR - Doug Fir Lounge

May 2011

Sun 01 - Seattle, WA - Crocodile Cafe
Tue 03 - San Francisco, CA - Rickshaw Stop
Wed 04 - Los Angeles, CA - The Satellite
Thu 05 - San Diego, CA - The Casbah

Pete Doherty: Isn't enough we're destroying their coast without sending the US him as well

Pete Doherty had been rumoured to be schmooz-playing at party to launch Corduroy Magazine in New York.

The Department Of Homeland Security had other ideas, though, and didn't even let him into the country.

He was lucky they didn't use him to block the hole in the Gulf.

Akon upsets some more people

Accident-prone Akon - the Frank Spencer of mid-market sludge & B - has now managed to upset an entire religion. And a nation.

Sri Lanka is bloody angry with him:

Sri Lanka has refused to issue a visa to Akon, the Senegalese-American singer and rapper who is due to perform there next month, after Buddhist activists took offence at one of his music videos.

They said that the video for Akon’s song Sexy Bitch, which features bikini-clad women dancing in front of a statue of the Buddha in Ibiza, had offended members of the Sinhalese ethnic majority, which is mainly Buddhist.

On Monday, hundreds of protesters stormed the head offices of the Maharaja Broadcasting and Television Network, the concert’s media sponsor, injuring four employees, smashing windows and damaging parked cars.

There is, of course, an "I hate Akon" Facebook group - although given there's an "I hate" everything Facebook, that's not really significant.

Akon - who is skilled at issuing apologies - flicked through the file past papers headed 'I had no idea she was underage', 'Who knew there were those vouchers there' and 'God, are you telling me it was actually loaded?' to come up with the one marked 'Religion (general enragement of)':

“I was not aware that the statue was even on the set of the video until now. I would never set out to offend or desecrate anyone’s religion or religious beliefs,” Akon said in a statement. “I myself am a spiritual man, so I can understand why they are offended, but violence is never the answer and I am disheartened."

Yes, Akon, trying to placate the Buddhists by claiming that you never spotted there was a massive Buddha in the background while simultaneously claiming yourself to be spiritual. Why wouldn't that work?

To be fair to Akon, The Times' Jeremy Page suggests that this story might be more about an accident-prone children's entertainer:

The decision to bar Akon also raises concerns about the independence of the media in Sri Lanka. Maharaja [the network who played the video which caused the trouble] is one of the few large media organisations backing the Opposition before parliamentary elections on April 8.

Akon might just be an pawn in a greater game that he has no understanding of. Again.

Visa rejected: Erik Hassle

It would have been a great opportunity for Erik Hassle: opening for the trending Marina & The Diamonds in New York, and then on to SXSW. Result? Lots of lovely press and web coverage, hundreds of new fans, and dozens of pairs of knickers flung in his direction.

Trouble is, though, Hassle has had his US visa turned down. They're hoping he'll be able to get across in the Spring.

Gordon in the morning: America won't take Dappy

Trouble as N-Dubz try to spin their fifteen minutes out by vanishing into an uncaring American market. Gordon reports this morning that Dappy can't get a visa for the US:

N-DUBZ star DAPPY has been a naughty boy in the past and it has caught up with the little fella now the band are due to meet big-hitting label bosses in New York.

It's curious - usually The Sun is pretty unforgiving about young people who've behaved violently trying to get special treatment, but Gordon seems quite forgiving about Dappy's conviction on two accounts of assault just over a year ago. Apparently spitting in someone's face is "being a naughty boy". Why, you might almost chuckle at it.

Gordon somehow types this with a straight face:

Dappy has had a bad run recently. Last week he sent offensive texts to a Radio 1 listener who laid into the band on air.

But he is growing up and deserves a chance to redeem himself by making a dent in the US chart.

He's grown as a person since, erm, sending death threats to a woman last week.

Gordon in the morning: That close to a superstar wedding, then

Given that Bizarre seems to have run stories suggesting Winehouse is dumping Fielder-Civil, getting back with him and getting back with that other Blake bloke, it's perhaps no surprise this morning Gordon and his team is suggesting she's going to run off with a rugby player.

This seems to hang on nothing more than a photo of her standing on a beach with some jawbone called Josh Bowman, who is friends with Danny Capriani. Who apparently plays rugby for a living.

It's all a bit vague, but that doesn't stop Gordon running a think piece:

RUGBY hunk Josh Bowman must have some balls to tackle Amy Winehouse.

Up to now she’s tossed away every opportunity to get back on the straight and narrow.

But hanging out with a decent lad on a sun-kissed island miles from the madness of Camden can’t be a bad thing.

It’s got to be better than throwing money at hopeless junkie husband Blake Fielder-Civil.

Let’s hope this new love for life inspires her to pick up a pen, write some decent tunes and do what she does best . . . sing.

Bloody hell, man: it's a photo of her on holiday in St Lucia; let's not start over-extrapolating, eh? After all, she went to exactly the same place twelve months ago, and that hardly was the opening for a golden year, was it?

Meanwhile, Simon Cowell's attempts to drive a coach and horses through US immigration policy to get Cheryl Cole working in the States, despite her recent conviction for beating the crap out of a toilet attendant - sorry, that should be "[w]hat Cheryl did [...] a long time ago and entirely out of character" - gets Gordon turning into a linguist:

If Cheryl does make it on to Oprah, it’ll be interesting to see how the Yanks cope with her Geordie twang.

Not many of them will know that “Way ayy man” means hell yeah, dude — or that “Alreet pet?” means how’s it going chick?

And fewer will know that “Canny bag o’ Tudor” is her way of saying awesome potato chips.

Goodness, you're right, Gordon. We'll really, really have to hope that Oprah Winfrey doesn't move the conversation on to Cole's opinions on bags of crisps, won't we? Or pavements, come to that. Apparently, Gordon, Americans call that "the sidewalk" - and they say tomayto, too. All the time.

Glasvegas having some trouble

Glasvegas are reported as having cancelled their Boston gig; James is having troubles with their visas, apparently. It's not known if this is a tit-for-tat action following Busta Rhymes' problems getting into the UK.

Karma: 'come in' not on

Boy George's plans of a tour of America have hit a problem - the whole drugs business is causing him visa problems:

"There are a number of public figures who are openly using drugs and they have no problem with immigration and I have seriously turned my life around and I feel great right now and this is just another reminder of how bad things were," he said.

"I committed a crime and I happily paid the consequences and I should be allowed to move on and get on with what I do best and that is performing and making people dance and cry!"

Making people cry? Has he started giving the audience chinese burns?

It's true that people who are known to be drug users might come and go through America's airports with nothing more than a spot of laboured autograph signing. But, generally, they haven't managed to get involved in a whole police investigation swinging round rent boys and your own coke and god knows what else was going on; and, normally, while applying for visas won't have recently been arrested on charges relating to false imprisonment on this side of the Atlantic.

America "changes mind"; Amy decides not to go after all

It's surely quite unusual for the US to reverse a high-profile visa decision, but it's done so in the case of Amy Winehouse - perhaps the Home Office offered a two-for-one deal with the Abu Hamza? Maybe the US authorities discovered a fact about Winehouse that had somehow been forgotten at the original visa application? Or perhaps, simply, there's two systems of law operating - one for most of us; another for the super-rich in the entertainment industry who fund political careers.

Still, the change of heart has come too late - Amy's still intending to do the Grammys by satellite. Presumably because if she left now, she'd be getting in with very little time to rehearse.

They said no, no, no

Regardless of it she's well enough or not, Amy Winehouse won't be at the Grammys: America has turned down her visa application.

Mark Ronson is going to be bored shitless at the awards, then.

Winehouse: Get well sooner

We're delighted that Universal were keen to ensure that Amy Winehouse is given the time to get better*. It's nice to see a caring attitude from an employer.

* - Although, obviously, not if it would mean missing the appointment for a US Visa. After all, getting over addiction is hardly as important as the Grammys, is it? Being drug free won't help with the first quarter sales figures, will it?

Nadine foiled

You'd have to have a heart of stone, etc: Nadine Coyle was about go on again with the tedious on-off publicrelationship she has with a man whose first names do seem to be Desperate Housewives Hunk Jesse, only to discover that you need to have a visa to go to India. Who knew, eh?

Japan recoils from Revolver

Velvet Revolver are upset and hurt that they're having to having to cancel their Japan tour after getting knocked back at the visa stage:

"We want to apologize to our fans in Japan that we won't be able to perform our scheduled concerts.

"We don't understand why the authorities won't give us visas, when they granted them for us in 2005 for what was a successful tour and a great experience. We love Japan and look forward to our return there."

We'd imagine there's a very, very good reason why - having had them play there once - Japan suddenly realise they don't want them back again.

Nash for no cash

Oddly, considering the easy-filing system which posts Kate Nash as being "a bit like Lily Allen from an outlet shop", Nash has now had an echo of Allen's problems with US visas. Instead of coming home and posting an incoherent rant on MySpace, though, Nash went ahead and played New York - but wasn't able to accept any money for the performance. She was, however, rewarded with cookies from Music Snobbery blog.

Girlschool cancel US and German dates

More tight visa rulings: this time, it's Girlschool who have had to pull their US dates due to visas not coming through:

"We are absolutely devastated that we had to cancel these shows due to the incompetence of the powers that be. The people that we had trusted to do their jobs and the bureaucracy of the American embassy really sucks.

"We have spent four days at the embassy this week where we were told that our visas had all been approved and that they would try and hurry them up so we would get our passports returned to us before we were due to leave for Germany on the night of August 30th. We then spent two days on the phone begging for our passports to be returned to us but were told that it takes three-five working days.

"Well, as you can imagine, we couldn't believe it after we had been told that they would courier them back to us [as soon as possible]. We have had to cancel all the shows and are extremely disappointed that we have let our fans down.

"To any bands that are applying for a U.S. visa, make sure that you apply at least six months before you go; that way you can be sure of getting your passports back in time.

"Once again we would like to apologize to the German and American fans — and the concert promoters. Hopefully we will see them soon if we ever get our passports back."

Well done, America: now managing to make bands cancel European dates as well as ones in the US.

Lily Allen plays visa roulette

We're not sure Lily Allen is entirely bothered about playing America again - certainly, calling George Bush a fucking cunt during a televised festival gig isn't entirely the best way to warm up Homeland Security to your next application. The current US regime doesn't really do fair comment/free speech very well, Lily.