Bratman now a dad... perhaps

The exact position of Christina's Aguilera potential child is a matter of some debate. Like a kind Schroedinger's Cat with added placenta. Some insist that the there is a child, while her people insist it is still a foetus at this stage.

Adding an extra edge, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are in the same hospital, Los Angeles' Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. They're also having something approximating a baby.

This doubling-up is useful; not only does it allow economies of scale for papparazi and entertainment journalists, but it also makes that episode of Friends where Monica and Janice spawned simultaneously seem a little less far-fetched. There's also the tantalising prospect of a delivery-room mix-up, with Christina bringing up Lionel Richie's grandchild believing it was her own child. You can almost smell E! and Us Magazine willing those little ID anklets to fall off...

Madden to be a dad 'un

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden have popped up on US television to confirm they can't work birth control: Richie is four months pregnant.

This means, of course, Lionel Richie is to become a granddad, and Nicole is now in the position of having to eat for one.

Duff denies song nobody knows about is about a split nobody cares about

Hilary Duff is telling anyone who'll listen that the song on her new album Stranger is about her break-up with Joel Madden. It's about her parents breaking up, apparently:

"I made it seem like this was a relationship that I was in, but it's actually about my parents and about their relationship. "I didn't want people to know that."

But since nobody was paying her any attention, she thought she better mention it.

Charlotte shove-crimes

Joel Madden, who pretends to be a punk in the sitcom Good Charlotte, has had a bit of a run in outside a restaurant in LA. Apparently he's accused of shoving a photographer who tried to take pictures of his girlfriend, Nicole Richie, leaving a restaurant called Mr. Chow. It's not clear if Joel was upset at the thought of pictures being taken of her, or pictures not being taken of him.

Nicole Richie in a restaurant called Mr. Chow? What, couldn't they get seats at Lord Pick? Was Duke of Nibbles closed for refurbishment?