Showing posts with label celebrity big brother. Show all posts
Showing posts with label celebrity big brother. Show all posts

Saturday, May 03, 2014

Lee Ryan: The man who pisses in the cells

Lee Ryan, trying to find some sort of reason for driving while drunk, refusing to give a sample, swearing at police and pissing in a cell, decided to use the defence that he was upset because he got a lot of online abuse after going on Celebrity Big Brother.

Because that sort of behaviour is the way to stop people on Twitter calling you a low-wattage cockgriddle.

Ryan explained pissing on the floor because he didn't know there was a toilet in the police station, although he appears to have been so drunk he might have had more credibility if he claimed he thought there was a toilet in the cell.

His Twitter feed has vanished overnight, but he still has some defenders on there:


Actually, I hadn't thought of that one. That's pretty funny, SoapyHannah.


Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Gordon in the morning: Aah, aah, aah, aah

Let's leave Gordon's desk for a while, and look instead over at the Sun's health pages. They have news about a public education campaign:

THE Bee Gees hit Stayin' Alive is at the heart of a new campaign launched today — to save the lives of cardiac arrest victims.
[...]
It says that pumping the chest at between 110 and 120 beats per minute — the same rate as the 1978 hit — is more effective than a poor breath resuscitation attempt.

The charity is launching the TV campaign, backed by the UK Resuscitation Council, aiming to give people confidence to use the CPR technique.

Actor and former soccer ace Vinnie Jones will feature in the "Hard And Fast" ads showing people the proper way to do chest compressions in 40 seconds.

No word on what you should do when you reach the middle eight.

In other "news", Lee 'elpehants are dying' Ryan had been due to go into the Big Brother house but has apparently been dumped after asking for too much money.

It's a pity for Ryan - looking at the rest of the rumoured line-up (the other one from Pineapple Dance Studios; someone from The Only Way Is Essex; a couple of people who've actually appeared on terrestrial television some years back) it might have been the first time he'd have been the most famous person in a room.

He's going to be replaced by Romeo, who was one of the So Solid Crew but presumably has been selected on the strength of his more recent work, as a best man in Don't Tell The Bride.


Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Gordon in the morning: NME awards, you're doing it wrong

This morning's Bizarre gives a double page spread to the NME Awards shortlist. Doubtless IPC will be delighted, but hasn't the idea that the NME prizes is some sort of alternative take on the Brits now vanished totally?

Course, Gordon's coverage is in part driven by his beloved Kasabian having been lined up for so many categories:

Kasabian have proved they are the best in the country on current form and deserve the title of Best British Band.

Last year's No1 album, West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum, was a cracker.

But the Arctics' latest, Humbug, which had a few decent tunes, was a flop by their extremely high standards.

Kasabian are out in front for Best Live Act too.

They upstaged the Monkeys at Glastonbury in 2007 as fans chanted well into their rivals' set.

Pssst... Gordon: that doesn't mean Kasabian are better than the Monkeys, it just means that Kasabian fans are socially ignorant and irritating.

Besides Gordon clicking repeatedly on the 'Like this' button next to Kasabian's name, what other predictions does he have for the event?
One thing's for sure...

Yes?
...a few ales will be sunk at the bash on February 24.






Right-o.

Also on Bizarre this morning is an eye-catching headline:
Heidi: HMs allowed drugs

Which would be a story worth sharing, were she not talking about how Channel 4 and Endemol let Big Brother housemates who are receiving prescribed medication, erm, take their medicine.

It's almost as if the Sun newsroom is now staffed with people going "I can never remember... is it 'dog bites man' or 'man bites dog' which is news?"


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Celebrity Big Brother: Boy George's plea

So, if I've understood this: Boy George is being asked to be allowed to finish the punishment which stops him leaving a house at night, in order to be allowed to be detained in a house all day.


Saturday, January 17, 2009

Celebrity Big Brother: Hole in the house

Mutya, having failed to be evicted, has walked from the Big Brother house. She says she couldn't stand being away from her child any longer; the reality, and there's no shame in it, is that she wouldn't want to spend another second listening to the self-obsessed perpetually-confused Coolio. Coolio's defence, when challenged on being as boorish as he is balding, is that he's playing a character, or playing games. Clearly, he doesn't like himself much, either, the speed with which he denies himself.


Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Celebrity Big Brother: What, exactly, is a Lucy Pinder?

So, in yesterday's batch of highlights from Channel 4's rest home for the famous but confused, the producers injected a note of cruelty into proceedings by making people demonstrate the skills which made them famous-enough-for-celebrity-Big-Brother.

Poor LaToya found herself singing along to one of her brother's songs and Mutya was invited to do a Sugababes song, rather than one of her solo efforts.

At least Michelle Heaton was allowed to do a Liberty X song - although that turned out to be even crueller, given that she could no more hit a note than a double-decker bus could hide in a single-storey garage. She was given a costume, in a bid to ape the latex-clad video for Just A Little Bit; sadly, it was a cheap PVC catsuit which appeared to have been wrestled off the back of a burly transvestite minutes before Heaton clambered in to it.

Terry Christian looked like he enjoyed it, though. Christian - by virtue of having been backward in coming forward on the first night - had earned the power of judge and jury over this looking-glass Butlins' talent night, and would later have to name those who he felt had insufficient talent to remain in the house. "Ooh, you've made me the bad guy again" he moaned in the diary room, trying to look like he didn't like the attention - something which he had about as much success with as he did disguising his loinal stirrings while Heaton strumped about in the baggy plastic.

One of those who he put up for the chop was Lucy Pinder, on the grounds that he'd never heard of her before. "I've never seen her in a bikini, I've never seen her with her... for want of a better word, waps out." Really, Terry? You couldn't think of a better word? Really?

To be fair, Pinder had pretty much flunked the 'why I'm famous' round, starting off by once again calling herself "a little bit Tory" (oh, how fantastically contrary for a rich-but-dim woman to vote Conservative). "I don't really like Gordon and his team" she underlined (ah, that sort of Tory - one who doesn't like the Labour party.) She then explained that she felt Brown had betrayed what they originally believed in while in power - but since Brown once strongly believed in good, old Clause 4 values, surely someone who supported Tory values would be delighted that Brown had turned his back on all that socialism stuff? Isn't it a little like saying you hate rain and then complaining that there's a drought on?

Unless Pinder really meant that she thought Brown was betraying Blairism - she is quite young, she might think that Labour has always been a centre-right social democratic party and that, by privatisingnationalising banks, he's turning his back on all that. Unfortunately, she didn't explain further because she then started to churn on about how great her job is - "I met the Bo Selecta bear..."

You wonder if Channel 4 have told Pinder to mention her mushy-right-wing politics frequently in a bid to provide some sort of Ofcom-calming balance to Tommy Sheridan's leftist blasts. Sheridan did, to his credit, take full opportunity to condemn the Iraq war at the top of his lungs - "I speak truth to power" he roared. If Pinder is meant to be the balance to this, it's like planting carrots in the hope they'll provide a windbreak for the rest of the garden.

I'm not quite sure how Ben Adams demonstrated the reason why he's well-known: how do you illustrate 'making teenagers feel strange tinglings they've never had before'?
[UPDATED: Thanks, Gatz, for pointing out the slip]


Monday, January 05, 2009

Preston goes it alone

You know what's really heartbreaking about the announcement of the completion of the solo album from Preston who used to be in Chanelle And Preston? It's the timing, oh-so-coincidentally at the same time as Celebrity Big Brother is on. Because he was on that, you know. He was the one who had to pretend he was in a band that people had heard of, back in 2006.


Sunday, January 04, 2009

Woot-ton: The CBB "race row" that isn't

Oh, god, they've barely had time to unpack and already there's unpleasantness at the Big Brother house. And, for some reason, Dan Wootton's been put in charge of coverage at the News of the World:

CELEBRITY Big Brother was embroiled in yet another race row last night after gangster rapper Coolio used the racist term n****r - but was NOT disciplined by Channel 4 bosses.

Actually, Dan, it's gangsta rapper and, although it's hard to be certain, Coolio almost certainly said n***a, not n****r. But it is confusing, isn't it, Dan?
The 45-year-old, well known for his hate-filled song lyrics, had been warned by show chiefs not to use inappropriate language before entering the TV house on Friday night.

Coolio is hardly well-known for anything anymore, is he? And "hate-filled song lyrics" is hardly the first phrase that bubbles up when trying to place him.

Of course, it's hard for Dan, who is keen to suggest there's a direct correlation between the way Jade Goody treated Shilpa Shetty and a black Gangsta rapper using "nigga". Since Dan can't be as stupid as to really not understand why one is unacceptable and one disappointing, you'd have to conclude Wootton is attempting to stir a pot.
Last night a TV insider said: "It's as if Channel 4 and Endemol have learnt no lessons from all the previous incidents of racism and appalling behaviour on Big Brother.

"If he's allowed to use that word without any sort of reprimand, what's next? It's absolutely disgusting. What if another housemate uses this kind of language."

Then, presumably, Channel 4 would judge it the context in the same way they've judged this one.

So, Dan, let's get down to it: who did Coolio call a nigga? Actually, nobody - it turns out he was only quoting his subconscious:
After enquiries from the News of the World a spokeswoman last night confirmed Coolio had said the offending word and it had not been broadcast.

She said: "At around 9.20am today, Coolio recounted a vivid dream he experienced overnight in which he had been involved in a fight.

"Coolio used the N-word in his descriptive retelling to Ben. Coolio described how his imaginary adversary called Coolio 'Oh n****r'.

"This was again immediately flagged to senior production staff at Endemol and C4.

"After reviewing the footage, where Ben clearly took no offensive from the use of the word, no other housemates heard the word, the footage was not broadcast to cause offence to viewers and the context that Coolio used the word, no further action was taken.

"As always constant monitoring of any unacceptable language by any housemate is on going and Big Brother is always prepared to remind all housemates of these rules."

The real surprise here is that Channel 4 and Endemol have actually taken a cool-headed, adult and understandable approach to the not-even-quite-an-issue. Still, we'd like to see Dan Wootton go down when Coolio's evicted and tell him off for being a nasty white supremacist.


Friday, January 02, 2009

Liveblog: Celebrity Big Brother

The cost of inviting O'Meara et al on two years back: This year, not only is Celebrity Big Brother sharing a sponsor with "prime time on ITV3", but they're even using the same break bumpers. Oh, the shame.

So, Davina - dressed in an ostrich with Freak-from-Cell-Block-H gloves - is here to detail which C-Listers are prepared to risk everything for a chance to get invited back onto the B-List. Brought to you by Dreams, who must also be quivering alongside the collapse of MFI and the difficulties of their sofa-pushing brethren. Who do you have, Davina?

First: Latoya Jackson. Or possible a marionette Michael Jackson. Endemol could have been cruel, and given her the task of pretending she was her brother for the first couple of days, but they don't.

She claims the luxury bedroom, without even a second thought. Her intro tape is actually quite poignant: "I don't really know the world." She's hoping that Celeb Big Brother will teach her about it. Clearly not been sent tapes of previous years' programmes, then.

"I used to be in a girl group" - yes, it's Mutya, who tries to stress that there's more to her than "ex-Sugababe", but really knows there isn't. "There were a lot of rumours that we didn't get on" she observes, before effectively confirming them.

Her diamond tooth has the unfortunate effect of making her look a little Bugs Bunny when shot half-smiling. Still, at least UK contestants know they're expected to keep up a monologue as they go down the stairs and into the living room. LaToya was like a mime.

Vern Toyer was in Austin Powers, you know. Not that he goes on about it very much. (To be fair, he doesn't really want to drag up Shasta McNasty, does he?). He's got a plan. It's an evil plan. Like, you know, Doctor Evil out the film Austin Powers. Which he was in.

As he goes in - the back way, with a woman who tried to pretend she wasn't there even while he was asking her questions - Davina gushes: "how cute!" Not, of course, that she's be condescending in any way. Oh no.

Is "friend of George Galloway" a new political euphemism? It's used of Tommy Sheridan, who seems convinced that he's famous for his Poll Tax work rather than the nasty business with the News Of The World. Davina is called upon to add a bit of voiceover work to try and keep the legal team happy when he gets to that.

Sheridan seems convinced that he's entering the series "on my terms"; actually, he enters on a sea of boos.

Cut to the house, which is currently attempting to earn its entertainment corn by streaming live pictures of semi-famous people reading off laminated sheets.

Goodness, a woman who is famous for showing her breasts in tired magazines insisting that, hey, she's not like the stereotyped blonde airhead. Lucy Pinder proudly describes herself as "a bit Tory", which must be why she's adopted the free market in looking down her blouse.

"Don't put me in with a bleeding heart liberal" she pleads. Well, nobody has ever accused Sheridan of liberalism, I suppose.

Aaah! Ben from A1! Puppy eyes and... what's this? He's dissing his floppy curtain hair? Thinks it now looked awful? Bah, Ben. So, what have you been up to since you adjusted your hairstyle to fit the thinning at the back, exactly?

"I'm now known as a songwriter and a producer", he claims, bravely.

Adams tells us that he doesn't like going to celebrity hang outs - the people are arrogant, apparently. And, of course, it gets annoying being told that your name isn't on the clipboard.

Time is getting short for the programme - Ben is virtually manhandled through the doors.

Tina Malone lists her cv - "fat, Scouse, funny, bipolar, OCD". Oh, and ex-Brookside. It's cruel to put someone suffering from having been in Brookside into such an environment, surely?

"She's lost four stone seven pounds so far this year" trills Dav excitedly - which is really sticking to a new year's resolution with a vengeance. It turns out Malone has had a gastric band fitted, which sits awkwardly with her proud "I'm fat and healthy" claims on her intro tape.

Don't call it a comeback. Okay, Coolio - how about "a last brief grab for the spotlights before obscurity rolls in to reclaim its own?"

While lisiting his desires to be fanned by a naked young girl - "over eighteen" - he also details his wonderful career. I'm not sure, though, but if you're feeling the need to mention a World Music Award, you could look a little like you're desperate to pad.

He goes in wearing a mask on the back of his head - so it looks like he's walking backwards, if you ignore the mask being a bit crappy. It does have a tattooed tear, though - do you get tattoo tears for being in Big Brother?

At one point, Coolio compares himself to God, in a "I'm not really saying I'm like God, but - hey - you could see how people might get confused, right" tongue-in-cheek way.

Bloody hell, did Liberty X really drag on for six godless years? Michelle 'ooh, I were right fat back then' Heaton is next up. "I was married to Andy Scott-Lee for..." (insert your own 'contractual reasons' punchline here). It turns out that marriage was difficult because of the press interest - presumably in that once the press interest dried up, the marriage ceased to exist, like a light going off as a fridge door slams shut.

She took advice from Jordan and Peter about being on reality TV. It's not recorded if Jordan pointed out that her entire bloody working life has been being on reality TV, but since Lucy Pinder has previously implied Jordan is as thick as a kitten with glue on its paws, probably not.

As Heaton enters, Coolio immediately slides a glass of champagne into her hand. He really is slick.

So, all that vitriol Terry Christian got when he was presenting The Word? That was because all the media commentators wanted his job - which he suggests was "interviewing Sharon Stone and introducing Nirvana", rather than stumbling over the autocue, throwing to Hufty's OB from a nightclub in Goole and inviting people to eat maggots. He does, however, suggest the Word was a "septic T4", which only really underlines that he's not been on television for an age and most teenagers couldn't be blinking in "who's he" bafflement any harder than if Alvar Liddell had been clambering up the scaffolding steps.

He bounds over to Coolio and says "a long time ago, you were on a show of mine". Like he was Lew Grade.

"I guess most people will remember me from Ulrika, the pilot comedy show that somehow the BBC were persuaded to make for me," explains Ulrika, "although I'm also well known for my part in the John Leslie business a few years back." No, alright, she doesn't. Actually, she says that "people still shout 'ka-ka-ka' in the street" - and, sometimes, "look out, there's a bicycle behind you". Ulrika's main job in the house will be to be taller than everyone else, thereby providing a reference point in turmoil.

A quick trip back outside for Davina to run through the names again. Crowd reaction suggests BEN TO WINNN1111!!!; however, when the cameras return to the house, he's stood watching Coolio reading out the rules looking for all the world like an unmarried uncle at a children's party: desperate to be having fun, but with the creeping suspicion that he's made a terrible, terrible mistake.

Still, early days. There's 22 days of this to go.

Lest we forget
Ofcom verdict on CBB 2007
The celebrities enter the 2006 house


Monday, December 29, 2008

Celebrity Big Brother: You can never accuse Guardian readers of being ill-informed

A vague couple of words speculating that LaToya Jackson might be this year's Jackson in the Big Brother house unleashed an enormous monster of a Jackson fan in the comments:

You would only have to bother Googling La Toya Jackson to know that she too is representing the pop world, with 10 albums released since 1980, a Grammy nomination for her songwriting. A few people out there may also know her recent US club chart hits Just Wanna Dance and Free The World under her alias 'Toy'. She was also part of USA for Africa - We Are The World too. Her last UK releases were 1988's You're Gonna Get Rocked single with hip-hop superproducers Full Force and the accompanying LP with tracks by Stock Aitken Waterman amongst others. She's a best-selling author, actress, and her Playboy issues are still the biggest sellers of all time. It'll be great to see her back. Last time she was over here was in 2005 on Frank Skinner, supporting Michael and talking about her life. It should be a great 3 weeks of top telly with Toy on board.

Wow... more people wanted to look at her naked in Playboy than anyone else, huh? That's quite an, erm, achievement (outselling Debbie Gibson's vagina? Who wouldn't be proud?). Still, it's actually quite sweet to see that Jackson still has fans so proud of her that they'll submit a biography to counter any suggestion she might be less famous than Mutya from the Sugababes. I say "fans"; jumping to the conclusion that the press handout might have come straight from the PR team who have got her into this mess in the first place might be uncharitable.

Amongst the others being tipped for a place in the programme which is part handbasket, part tumbrel, are Terry Christian (recently lost his unfair dismissal claim against the BBC on the grounds that, erm, he didn't work for them); Michelle Heaton out of Liberty X (sort of undermining Popbitch's belief that they somehow beat Hear'Say in the long run); Ulrika (getting GBP175,000 - more than anyone else, according to Wikipedia); Lucy Pinder (apparently not owning a shirt now constitutes 'celebrity'); Malcolm Gladwell (hoping to discover exactly where his tipping point is); Verne Toyer (as part of his bid to appear on any reality programme that will have him); Tina Malone (off of Brookside); Coolio (wearing a tshirt reading 'self-parody? what does that even mean?') and Ben from A1, who will spend the three days before he's evicted wandering around showing off his nipples.


Saturday, October 25, 2008

Weller recants: Preston is a silly pop star

Paul Weller gave The Ordinary Boys a small boost early on in what I shan't call "their career" lest people think me sarcastic. Weller told people he loved the band.

Now, though, Weller is withdrawing his support. Why he's even bothering to mention this in 2008 is puzzling - it's a little bit like saying you no longer endorse John Kerry for president, isn't it?

What's even more bemusing is his reasoning:

"What happened to them, man? I thought he was a credible character, serious about what he was doing,” Weller told the Mirror newspaper.

“Then he's behaving like a silly pop star, a total about-face."

Weller is reacting to Preston going on Celebrity Big Brother. In 2006. Is he slowly working his way through back issues of Heat or something?


Sunday, June 08, 2008

Just in time for the new Big Brother series

We might have thought that going on Celebrity Big Brother would be enough to torpedo The Ordinary Boy's career, but here we are, two years on, and they're still turning up in the newspapers. Admittedly, only because Preston is supposedly seeing someone else, and we think it's now sixteen full months since anyone played an Ordinary Boys song anywhere in the world, but, still, it's more than Ultrasound get, isn't it?


Sunday, January 20, 2008

Jo O'Meara: horse whisperer

It's probably unsurprising to see the first signs of a rehabilitation of Jo O'Meara starting, a year on from Celebrity Big Brother; and where better to start than in the pages of the Daily Mail?

O'Meara - who has spent the last year hanging out with rescue animals and has stepped in to offer support for the horses and donkeys which were discovered at Spindles Farm in Amersham - is now pregnant and keeping out of the spotlight. Sort-of:

Jo is not planning to rush back into showbusiness. She says: "I love singing and that will always be part of my life but I'm taking it slowly and I have the baby to think about."

She is considering an invitation to take part in a charity show next month, organised by celebrity voice coach Zoe Tyler.

The prospect of performing on stage after such a torrid year's absence is daunting, but she is considering an offer to work with housemate Jermaine Jackson.

The Mail, meanwhile, does it bit to help along with the recasting of O'Meara, suggesting the whole nasty, racist screeching match was a lot of fuss about nothing:
The baying crowd had already decided she was a racist and a bully, primarily on the strength of one particularly banal and savage argument over a stock cube.

Jo, meanwhile, insists that she's not racist at all:
The thing that hurts most is that anybody could think I was racist. I honestly don't have a racist bone in my body. I may be a bit daft sometimes but I'm not malicious.

Curiously, O'Meara doesn't bother to mention the bullying problem - that she sat hawking away while Goody verbally battered Shetty and, when Shetty appealed for help, she just laughed; that when the row finally abated, O'Meara said "I needed that" and looked like she'd had an enjoyable time.

Even more curiously, O'Meara doesn't explain how "not having a racist bone in my body" squares with the supressed segement of her sitting around having a laugh about limericks with the word 'paki' in them; the Daily Mail doesn't think to ask.

Instead, O'Meara trots out the line again that it was all created in the editing. Since her worst behaviour was quietly dropped onto the cutting room floor, it seems odd that she should object to people being selective when telling a story.


Thursday, November 22, 2007

Preston and Chantelle: the end

The divorce of Preston and Chantelle, ending a kind-of-romance that bloomed on Celebrity Big Brother, has been ended.

Chantelle divorced Preston on grounds of Preston's "unreasonable behaviour", which - from press interviews she's recently given - seems to have consisted of reading the odd book and having conversations about politics. Why isn't someone building a refuge to save partners from this sort of intolerable behaviour?


Sunday, November 04, 2007

Another heartbreaking story of celebrity loss

The uncoupling of Chantelle and Preston is proving tricksy, as Preston is now demanding his share of the kiss-and-tell cash:

A source close to her said: "Preston claims that without him and their marriage she wouldn't have had anything to talk about it.

"But she thinks that's ridiculous and he is being completely unreasonable. She can't believe how bitter he is being and is furious. Their marriage was miserable - now the divorce is going to be just as bad."

We reckon this story in the People will be worth another fifty quid to Preston's claims, then.

Hang on, though, Chantelle has found something to talk about that's nothing to do with Preston. Her breasts:
Before the op Celebrity Big Brother winner Chantelle, a natural 32B, said: "I'd love to be a cup...

That's what the People says - Chantelle wants to be a cup. Rather than a mug, we suppose. Still, at least her breasts give her something to talk about other than Pre... oh
"... Preston didn't want me to get them done. He said that fake boobs were grotesque but now I can do what I want."

Apparently, even her breasts are controlled by her relationship with Preston.

Still, she does have a life beyond him:
After splitting with Preston, whose biggest hit was Boys Will Be Boys, Chantelle dated Chris Neal who dumped Big Bruv madam Nikki Grahame for her.

But Chris, 26, a pal of Jade Goody's ex Jack Tweed, is now out of the picture.

Does everybody she know have some sort of Big Brother connection? Have these people actually been put on an island away from everyone else?


Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Jackson in financial difficulties - no, the other one

One of the few people to emerge from Celebrity Big Brother with any of their dignity intact was Jermaine 'you mean I was breathing ass?' Jackson. Naturally, that couldn't last and now his ex-wife is preparing to squeeze that dignity out of him, claiming that he's a bit tight and slightly ooky:

Alejandra alleges Jermaine's claim that he's broke is a "smokescreen." In legal papers, she says sarcastically, "he (claims) he has no income and all of his expenses are paid for by his girlfriend, who coincidentally, suddenly has a Swiss bank account and a Rolls Royce in her name after having worked at Bloomingdales and Macy's."

Alejandra claims Jermaine raked in the dough from the UK version of "Big Brother," as well as from royalties, business deals and what not.

And then there's this -- "I seek full custody of our children, with reasonable visitation to Jermaine because I have concerns regarding Jermaine's sleeping accommodations for our children while they are in his care." She goes on -- "I believe it is unhealthy for our children to sleep in the same bedroom with Jermaine and his girlfriend...."

Presumably, though, having the kids bunk in with their father is more healthy than leaving them down the corridor sharing with Uncle Michael, isn't it?


Thursday, July 12, 2007

Not all married couple discuss percentages in bed

Chantelle Outtheordinaryboys, who was briefly married to Preston Outtheordinaryboys after they met on Family Fortunes, has denied that the whole thing was a publicity stunt:

"I did things in bed with Preston that you wouldn't do with someone if it was a publicity stunt."

It's not known if this includes just specific things - you know, fisting or whatever - or if she means that you'd have to be really, really committed to something to have sex with Preston at all.


Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Oh My God! The marriage is over

Can it really be true? Can Preston and Chantelle, off of Big Brother, really be splitting up?

We understand that she started to read him extracts from her book, and he just got up and walked out.


Friday, May 25, 2007

Celebrity Big Brother: Ofcom verdict

Some of the comments on the story we did back during Celebrity Big Brother insisted that Jo O'Meara couldn't possibly have been taking part in racist bullying, because, for example, she sang songs which meant she was "shy" (sorry, sensitively creative), she didn't appear to be doing any racist bullying in the backstage bits of S Club 7 live videos, and because she said she wasn't.

Now, Ofcom have published their findings following complaints about the series. What did they think?

Of course, their remit was not to decide on what was said, but how it was broadcast, but it did fall to Ofcom to investigate the nature of what was said in the first place. Their starting point is some of the transcripts:

Danielle
I just don’t like that. I don’t fucking trust her.
Jo
No, I don’t trust her. I don’t trust her – at all.
(SHOTS IN BEDROOM OF SHILPA AND CAROLE)
Danielle
No buts ay - she’s a dog.
Ian
What did she say? Danielle? What did she say?
Danielle
I need a wee. I need a poo. I need a wee but I’ve got to wipe
her arse.
(Background conversation)
Jo (to Danielle)
Behave yourself, Mrs.
Danielle (in toilet)
Fuck.
Jo
She’s a dog.
Danielle
No, but like me, you and Jade get on.
Jo
Yeah.

Friday 12 January 2007, transmitted on the main show on 13 January 2007

Channel 4 suggests that, while this is nasty, it's not racially nasty, and that Jo might have called Shilpa a dog, she didn't mean it:
There is no evidence, however, to suggest that the insult was motivated by racism or indeed had anything at all to do with Shilpa’s race.

Certainly the editorial team did not then and do not now view it as racist. That is not to say the remark was viewed as pleasant. In any event, at the time it is also clear that Jo, although she laughs at the comment, has some reservations about it - making the comment ‘behave yourself Mrs’ to Danielle.

It is also Jo later on that night and the following morning who makes it clear that she thinks the comments were terrible and urges Danielle not to drink again and to apologise to Shilpa. Accordingly, although not pleasant, the context of the show and the ongoing series made the inclusion of it totally justified by context and within the Code rules.

In addition, Channel 4 points to Jo's role in helping engineer a rapprochment between Jade and Shilpa the next day.

Ofcom suggests that "while offensive to some", this is pretty much par for the Big Brother course:
We therefore do not believe that in light of this backdrop, the term
“dog” would have gone beyond the Big Brother audience’s expectations. In the
context of the day’s events, the comment was clearly made by Danielle Lloyd in the
belief that Shilpa Shetty had somehow had a role in Carole Malone’s eviction. It was,
therefore, used by Danielle Lloyd as a generic term of abuse as opposed to a racial
insult, and would have given viewers an insight into the housemate’s character.

Then, there was the "Indians are thin because of their poor hygiene":
Jo
I said, maybe they cook them differently in India, might do mightn’t they?
Danielle
They probably fucking cook it for, like…
Jo
That’s why they’re all thin, because they’re sick all the time, because they’re ill.
Danielle
They’re ill off Shilpa’s cooking.
Jo
The thing that aggravates me with Shilpa is she fingers your food off your plate. You could see when she was picking the onions, just with her fingers, she’s just done it to Ian as well, she went ‘oh this chicken is fine’ [mimics Shilpa’s accent] and on his plate, started eating his chicken off-of his plate. That grates me.
Danielle
Do they do that in India, eat with their hands or is that in China?
It’s in India isn’t it?
Jo
Not sure, I don’t like all that though.
Danielle
I don’t know where her fingers have been.

Channel 4 suggested that this is merely ignorance, rather than racism:
Channel Four said that Jo O’Meara and Danielle Lloyd were clearly within their rights
to be concerned about potential food safety and hygiene issues if they perceived
there was a risk. By making a crude generalisation that all Indian people are thin and suffer from food poisoning because of the way they cook chicken – particularly in a way that suggests this is humorous – Jo O’Meara’s ignorance of Indian culture is made clear to viewers. Similarly Danielle Lloyd’s comment asking whether it is India or China where people eat with their hands highlights her clear ignorance of other cultures. Nonetheless, Channel Four considered that the comments “…stop short of being clearly motivated by actual racial prejudice”.

So, suggesting that a nation of people are unhygenic, and sick, and thin as a result is "humorous" and "short of being motivated by actual racial prejudice" - you have to wonder why the channel believes something as nasty as this can be excuse because it's humourous. NF literature used to include cartoons, which didn't make it any less repugnant.

Certainly, Ofcom didn't buy it for a minute:
This [the motivation[ may or may not be the case (and of course, it is not possible to know with any certainty what the motivation behind these comments was), but we considered whether the content of the words were such that they could reasonably be viewed as potentially offensive on the grounds of race, or any other grounds.

There appeared to be two elements to this material which viewers found offensive. The first was the exchange in which Jo O’Meara linked Shilpa Shetty’s cooking to people in India being thin and the second was in Danielle Lloyd linking this personally back to Shilpa Shetty’s cooking, which viewers perceived to be racist bullying. We agree that on the surface, the target of the women’s exchange appeared to be Shilpa Shetty’s cooking. However, their comments extended to generalisations about Indians as a race and therefore had the potential to be viewed as stereotyping Indians as a race and offensive by many.

In considering the exchange, we bore in mind the broadcaster’s response that the above comments needed to be viewed in the context of the day and the growing antagonism over the course of the preparation and eventual consumption of the lunch. However, Ofcom believed that there were other, more pertinent comments (about race and imitations of accents) being made in the House which should have alerted Channel Four to the potential for this exchange to cause offence and the need to apply generally accepted standards.

We agree with Channel Four that expressing a dislike for another person handling the food you are about to eat with their fingers or taking food from your plate with their fingers would not necessarily lead to offence being caused in the broadcast of this material. However, in the context of the remarks which surrounded it (“That’s why they’re all thin, because they’re sick all the time…”; “Do they do that in India?”) and bearing in mind the pejorative way in which such comments could be viewed, Ofcom is of the view that the conversation had the potential to cause serious offence.

Jo O’Meara’s quiet mimicking of Shilpa Shetty’s accent when saying “oh this chicken is fine” also added to the concerns about the offensive nature of this material. This focused the discussion further on race as the issue (and not simply their frustration over the un-cooked chicken), adding to the offence.

We agree with Channel Four that, in the context of a programme like Big Brother, “it was…important that this scene was presented to viewers as a further insight into these girls’ characters”. Notwithstanding that such comments may demonstrate cultural ignorance, the audience’s reaction to this broadcast was bound to be influenced more at this time by concerns that the two women’s comments had the potential to be offensive on grounds of race.

In other words: It might not have been that Jo and Danielle were having a spot of racist Indian-bashing, but it certainly looked like it.

In other findings, Ofcom shares the views of Jo's supporters - for example, that sometimes she managed to do an Indian accent that was just spiteful and vindictive rather than racist:
In Ofcom’s review of all the incidents in which the housemates were broadcast mimicking accents, we noted that many housemates did in fact imitate each other and this was mostly done in good humour. Shilpa Shetty, herself, mimicked others, in particular Jade Goody (for example, she mocks Jade Goody at one point on her pronunciation of the word “whale”). On the whole, where the mimicking was not good humoured, there was no direct evidence to suggest that the motivation was racist. For instance, when Jo O’Meara imitates Shilpa Shetty’s apparent “whinging” to Jade Goody and Danielle Lloyd (transmitted Saturday 13 January 2007 on the main show), it is the tone and pitch of her voice that is singled out and made the main focus of the imitation rather than the accent.

So, erm, that's alright then.

The regulator also observed that Jo's reaction during the great stock cube row showed support for Jade's bullying of Shilpa:
This argument was certainly extremely uncomfortable viewing and at certain times shocking. It was made more so, by the comments of Jo O’Meara and Danielle Lloyd during and after the fight, which were regarded by some as supportive of Jade Goody’s behaviour:
Jo:
“I suddenly feel better”
“Jade you’re hilarious”
“Got to say, made my day”

However, the decision on this was that, while the behaviour was "unpleasant", showing it wasn't an error of judgement on the network's part.

Ofcom also considered - along with the Jade Goody, Danielle Lloyd and Jackiey Budden incidents, the Jermaine Jackson "white trash" moment. This bit, where Jermaine supposedly applied the term to the Jade clan, has been seized on by some as some sort of "balance" to the behaviour of O'Meara and friends, or to suggest that the media has only been interested in the white racism in the house, while turning a blind eye to racism coming from the black housemate.

Even had Jermaine been behaving like that, it's hard to see why a single moment of the use of a common phrase would somehow be comparable to sustained gaggle of racist bullying, but Ofcom hit the dictionaries and watched the tapes and concluded it wasn't racist, Jermaine was only using the term in reported speech, it wasn't said with any side, and he only used the term while explicitly not applying it to anyone in the house:
Ofcom has noted various definitions of the term “white trash” in ublished, as well as online dictionaries. “White trash” appears to be a slang term that is usually used to refer to what some describe as poor and uneducated white people. Whilst we understand that the term “white trash” literally refers to a particular group (i.e. certain white people), we consider it generally accepted that the expression refers to a socioeconomic group, rather than a racial one. We noted that Jermaine Jackson referred to The Jerry Springer Show immediately after his use of “white trash” to expand on what he meant by the term (“Have you heard about the show Jerry Springer, where they bring people and tell all their business and they go crazy? They get people like that because they have no self-respect sometimes…”). Again, this indicated that Jermaine Jackson’s use of the expression did not appear to be concerned with race, but with class and culture.

Nonetheless, Ofcom does consider that the term “white trash” may still have the potential to be offensive to some viewers. However, we believe that the term was appropriately justified by context in this specific instance and therefore not in reach of the Code. It is clear from the scene that Jermaine Jackson was merely reporting the use of the expression by others and he explicitly states that he would not himself apply it to Jackiey Budden (“They brought up the word white trash …and I wouldn’t call her that because she’s a human being…”). Neither did Jermaine Jackson use the term in aggressive or mocking terms.

In all, Ofcom found that some of the material shown was inappropriate for broadcast, and that Channel 4 will have to apologise multiple times on air.

It's noticeable that, despite her press interviews complaining about the way she was "edited" to "look bad", Jo O'Meara doesn't appear to have made a formal complaint to Ofcom on that point. Odd, that.


Sunday, March 04, 2007

Jo: I tried to die

Still maintaining that her racism and bullying was something that happened to her rather than being something she did, Jo O'Meara has been telling the News of the World that she apparently tried suicide:

She wept: "I wanted to kill myself. I'd had enough of that show and what it had done to me. I just couldn't carry on living.

"Channel 4 weren't there for me. They left me to die while they counted their pound notes and raved about ratings."

The tormented star revealed she:

# LOCKED herself away and refused to go out.

# FAILED in her suicide bid because a friend came home unexpectedly.

# BELIEVES she was too psychologically fragile to go on the show

# FEELS betrayed and abandoned by Big Brother bosses.

We're not quite sure how the "being locked away" squares with having "friends coming home". Rather aptly, the friend who interrupted her was called Cindy Lazarus.

Obviously, it's terrible that Jo feels such a mess, but part of her trouble seems to stem from her total inability to accept that her behaviour was bullying and racist - instead she maintains that things were "manipulated" and that she'd "come across" ina bad light:
Jo blames the editing of her conversations with Jade Goody and Danielle Lloyd for making them look like bullies ganging up on Bollywood beauty Shilpa Shetty.

But this is just simply not true - the key incident, where Jade was honking at Shetty while O'Meara and Lloyd sat giggling in support, wasn't "edited" to make it look like the three were ganging up on Shetty. The ignorant pieces about touching food with hands, and being slim because they don't cook their food properly: yes, you could argue that the editing picked out the worst bits - but they didn't make them up in the edit.

Her tale is rammed full of contradictions:
"I was abandoned. I was simply chewed up and spat out by Channel 4. I remember when I left that house, and I was in floods of tears, they promised they'd take care of me.

"They know full well how much I've suffered in the last few weeks but they've done nothing for me.

That does, indeed, sound terrible. Except:
CBB makers Endemol sent a psychologist to visit her three days after her release. Furious Jo claimed: "He said I should never have gone on that show because I wasn't mentally stable enough."

So... Channel 4 have done nothing for you, but then where did this psychologist come from?

Channel 4, for their part, suggest they've tried to help:
A Channel 4 spokesman said last night: "A senior producer and the psychologist have maintained regular contact with Jo through her representatives. The psychologist has made additional offers of support which Jo has not yet taken up. Her fee is being processed."


Apparently forgetting that we've all seen the programme, Jo tried to suggest that a couple of weeks in the Big Brother house is on a par with Guantanamo:
"Some days they'd lock you in a room for hours to provoke reactions between people and then we'd be woken by sounds of babies crying, people vomiting or wailing animals. It was mental warfare.

"They control your lives like they are God. They knew we were vulnerable in there and shamelessly exploited it. I was put through the meat grinder and almost lost everything for this poxy show."

If only it had been on twice a year every year for the last half decade, you might have had some idea what you were letting yourself in for, eh?

We're stil a little puzzled as to how Jo has been unable to work and unable to go out, and yet has somehow managed to be together enough sell her story to the News of the World. Let's hope the payment saves her house.