Gordon in the morning 2: A little more on Megan Fox

Just further to Gordon's big scoop this morning, about Megan Fox being Catwoman: The Times' Blockbuster Buzz pours cold water on the idea. And then puts it in the fridge. And floats it off to Antarctica.

Gordon in the morning: What's new, pussycat?

For some reason, nobody at The Sun has deemed Gordon's story about Megan Fox playing Catwoman worthy of putting behind a "buy the paper" pay fence.

And I have a strong feline she is the purrfect choice for the part - and thanks to a spot of computer wizardry here's how she might look.

Even with cat puns (of the sort being made even while the Egyptians were first domesticating kittens) and somebody photoshopping a pair of rubber ears on Megan Fox?

Slipping into the famous PVC catsuit always looked like a tricky business to me.

This would be more a impressive observation, were it not slap bang under a picture of Halle Berry as Catwoman not wearing a PVC catsuit. Or a catsuit at all. Or PVC.

Elsewhere, Smart runs yet another non-story about JLS:

JLS have been given an official warning by their management company to curb their big spending.

This is accompanied by photo of one of them ordering some food at a McDonalds drive-through. Which, naturally, is the sort of place where the paparazzi usually hang out, and not somewhere a band's management would have to send their own photographer to. In the new pay-per-Smart future, when you read this sort of advertorial, I'm guessing you'll get cashback.

Gordon in the morning: Eddie Murphy does some Riddling

Thrillingly exciting exclusive news from Gordon and Jess Rogers this morning, claiming to know who's going to be in the next Batman movie:

FUNNYMAN EDDIE MURPHY will play The Riddler in the next Batman movie, The Sun can reveal.

"Funnyman" is always a bit of a rubbish description of a person, but even more so when you're talking about Murphy, who scientists have proved hasn't done anything funny since about 1974.

Execs have also signed up rising Transformers star SHIA LABEOUF, 22, to play Robin.

Still, quite a scoop there, Gordon - let's hope you're not ending the year with a duff Eddie Murphy story. You know, like the way you started the year with a duff Eddie Murphy story and claimed he'd got married to Tracey Edwards. It won't be like that, will it?

Hang on... what's this in CinemaBlend this morning?

The Sun claims that Eddie Murphy has been signed to play the Riddler and Shia LaBeouf is set to play Robin. This is entirely untrue.

We spoke to a proven industry source of ours earlier tonight who confirmed to us not only that the rumor is a fake, but where and how The Sun got their information. Unfortunately, in order to protect our source's anonymity we can’t tell you. Ain’t that fun? But we're certain, there’s no truth to this at all.

So, The Sun have built a story on "insiders", while CinemaBlend are knocking it down on a "proven industry source". You pay your money...

I've been told, by the way, by a small knitted teddy bear finger puppet, that The Riddler is actually going to be played by Phil Cool "taking Gordon's funnyman, and raising it with a rubber-faced funnyman."

Gordon also runs a story about Uri Gellar wanting to hid subliminal, positive-thinking messages on singles:

The Israeli-born spoon-bender has become so concerned with the prospect of global financial collapse he’s teamed up with his pal MICHAEL JACKSON in an attempt to safeguard our future.

Uri now wants to bend our ears with an uplifting subliminal message on selected singles. It features himself and Jacko calling on people to think positively in a bid to end recession.

Wasn't Uri in the papers recently explaining that he doesn't see so much of Michael since Jackson got kind of busy?

Still, Gordon does weigh the benefits of his plan as if Uri wasn't a self-publicising sideshow:

His cutlery-curling career was plagued by allegations that he was a fraud, and he was unable to bend spoons chosen for him when he was on The Tonight Show in the US in 1973.

But we know the credit crunch is biting — unemployment is spiralling, house prices collapsing... someone has to do something.

But certainly not Uri. And certainly not this.

Yes, because once you switch on a mumbling subliminal message from Uri and Jacko, how would you switch it off? Within weeks, we'd all be a race of over-positive superhumans. There wouldn't be a safe spoon on the planet.

Cher: What's new, Pussycat?

As the rebooted Batman franchise looks forward to making a second mountain of money ("second movie"), the big question is who is going to play Catwoman.

Okay, the real question is when will they announce Angelina Jolie will play Catwoman, but - wait! Some tension has entered the cat casting question: Cher's face (her current one) is apparently in the frame:

“I would LOVE nothing more than for Cher to play Catwoman,” said her manager Risa Shapiro in this morning’s phone interview. “She’d be great. She’s one of the most extraordinary women anyone could ever meet. But I haven’t received any phone call about this, and hadn’t even heard about it .”

They can do astonishing things with CGI these days, so it might be not beyond the realms of possibility that Cher could be made to look like Jolie in post-production. And she would be wearing a mask most of the time.

Thin film future

One of the current assumptions in the music industry is that part of the way bands will make money in the future is by providing songs to soundtracks of big movies. Trouble is, Hollywood is getting less keen on having big bands sticking their oar in - partly because they've seen the Prince effect, where the little chap's soundtrack to the first Batman movie made it so of its time, the film now looks hopelessly dated; partly, and more obviously, because big stars mean big bills and the movie getting overshadowed by monstrous egos:

Hans Zimmer, who co-wrote the soundtrack for Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, says his vision of Gotham City has no room for the likes of U2, Prince and R Kelly.

"There was never any doubt that we were going to be songless," says the Oscar-winning composer.

"And, trust me, we were flooded with requests from every band in the world. I actually had to say no to some really interesting people."

Still, if Bono really wants to get his chance to sing a theem toon, he could always fund his own movie. There are tax breaks involved, too, so that would allow him to indulge one of his other passions, too.

[Thanks to Michael M]