No Rock And Roll Fun

THOUGHTFUL GIFTS ARE APPRECIATED: Apparently, Prince Charles sent Ozzy Osbourne a bottle of whisky to help the recovering alcoholic through his nasty quad bike accident. (Ozzy, you'll recall, had fallen off the child's toy, a kind of motorbike with stabilisers, and gave himself a nasty bump.) The shockingly arriviste Sharon took the opportunity for a little bit of name-dropping when she returned to the helm of her godawful chat show.

The bad news for the cancer-raddled and trauma-beaten of America is that their stock role as stooges on the show is going to be squeezed to make room for a "tribute" to Ozzy. Like he'd died, or something. A number one, some actual material for the wife's chat show, and a bottle of something malty from the Palace - really, it's all a win-win situation for the Osbournes, this bike crash, isn't it? Of course, there was a chance that after the accident, Ozzy might have become a mumbling, confused wreck incapable of supporting himself or stringing a sentence together, and happily it does seem he will make that full recovery.