Temptation

It is easy to stoop down to your level all We need to do is to be selfish and inconsiderate, assumptious and malicious. Insatiable and uncontented, busy body and insensitive. But I won't even though t is tempting enough. You all say you are religious you all pray 5 times a day or whatever shit even I who don't do half as much as you all know better how to treat a stranger much more someone I know and have to live with for eight months.

I keep asking myself why am I outcasted but I finally found the answer. Our thinkings are different. You all have so much missing in your lives and you can't get them by your own means that you have to cause oter peoples loss for your own gain. You all have nothing up there that you all talk about things which I can't understand and you All can't understand me and yiu assume it's me talking weird you have never considered what I felt about you all have you?

I won't place myself up or down to your level however you wish to think for 8 months just to fit in with you all. We just ain't in the same league. Grow up mentally.

Love?

Something I'll never understand but I know how to take care of people I care for.

Ain't bout posessing but liberty :/ learn the ropes cause it may fly without tension.

Forget it. Someone somewhere someday will regret.

the best thing

You do not know how much better you are than you think when you have inferiority complex. And you do not know how lousy like shit you are when you have superiority complex. Oh well. You are undervalued yet people who actually take the time to notice you will realize how much potential you have.

Performance is based on beliefs and expectations.

Anyway, I'm doing so much better now no thanks to you but family will always be there to pull me through. One day we all will learn. Some things were not meant to be and you were selfish. I'm selfish too but I Learnt that sometimes it just takes me a little more effort to care about someone who means a lot to you. I'm becoming sacrificial but I have so much more to give than most else. If I could then I would. Selectively.

selfish

humans are all selfish by nature. if you thought someone is selfish, you are in fact more selfish than that person.

why is that so? if you thought that someone is selfish, he in the first place has the rights to his own posession. if you wanted it and he did not give it to you, it does not make him selfish but it makes you selfish cause you wanted something which he has and you dont and you want it but do not have the means of getting it by your own means or by request.

grasp this concept, jealous never-satisfied losers.

Command and control

Damn shit command and control can be trained. Wake me up and put me down. I'm gonna be stronger than you :/

Who

Who can you rely on when you are down? No one is there to pick you up. So learn, not to be strong, but to be able to stand after you fall cause even strong men fall and the stronger they are the harder they fall.

Value

The value of someone is solely a perception. worth it or not, it's for you to decide.

So anyhow, I'm gonna devaluate you by choice of course you can do the same to me :)

Cause sometimes overevaluating may be detrimental.

Yes. Humans Can be bought. Just not with money :b go figure

Rip those beliefs

Slowly one by one we rip those bad beliefs we cultivated apart. If we only could identify them or perhaps it consumes us that we don't realize it. And we might very well be consumed by the act of identifying the issue itself. There was nothing wrong. Just the way we percieved the social accepted norm to be. That in itself could be the factor or the power of the eyes.

Mystery don't work by realizing then debunking each skill but realizing and utilizing.

Anyway alchemy states that nothing can be created nor destroyed. Just converted. Time. Money. Family. Friends. And everything that comes along with it. Is it worth it? Go figure

Bad bad

Oh no I'm a bad person again I love to experiment and I just messd up. Now now. I really should stop this. Ah never mind. It was fun anyway what's life without versitility

Attempting to blog with phone haha

Hello people this is a test of the bloogging with the phone. You oils possibly see me testing a litle more if this works out well but of course with a little bit of spelling errors but I'm surebtoy all won't mind will you? Okay I'm starting to talk like crap so I'm gonna stop here cause this is a test sfyrt all.

我们的爱

回忆里想起模糊的小时候云朵漂浮在蓝蓝的天空
那时候的你说要和我手牵手一起走到时间的尽头
从此以后我都不敢抬头看彷佛我的天空失去了颜色
从那一天起我忘记了呼吸眼泪啊永远不再哭泣

不要再问你是否爱我现在我想要自由的天空
远离开这被捆绑的世界不再寂寞

我们的爱过了就不再回来
直到现在我还默默的等待
我们的爱我明白以变成你的负担
只是永远我都放不开最后你给的温暖

1 week

was a whole load of fun. clubs. movies. supper.
~
im more human. fear. anger. despair. hatred. i feel it a little more.


Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without

Well it's too late, tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to carry each other

Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now?
You got someone to blame

Well, did I ask too much, more than a lot?
You gave me nothing, now it's all I got
We're one, but we're not the same
Well we, hurt each other
Then we do it again

chill

today got roadshow, yuli dint work today but she's gonna be around tmr! careful ah! flower pot express delivery from level4 =]
~
im glad i dont blow up impulsively, but im disappointed that i ranted to 6 people about today. this is the first time i latently blew up totally in years.

hulk

yes, hulk is a must watch, even if you dint watch the first part. quite exciting ah! on the sidenote, my hair's back! the front's bad though.. must remember not to do it in future though when im goin to the cinema.
~
i died in my dreams, got put in a humanoid and had no emotions. had the brains to know i cant feel for you, even if you had feelings for me.

yesh

a failed attempt. lionel asked me to ask girl for number, went to ask girl for number on his behalf, and failed. well at least i dint throw my own face =b
~
im happy, when youre happy. thats when i know at least i made your life better.

bliss

i expected a female freshkon promoter today but NO! i got a male freshkon promoter who doesnt wear freshkon products. nicely done.
~
this life's too easy when you ruled out all the difficult things as insignificant.

by now

All the things
That we've been through
You should understand me
Like I understand you
Now girl I know the difference
Between right and wrong
I ain't gonna do nothing
To break up our happy home
Don't get so excited
When I come home
A little late at night
Cos we only act like children
When we argue fuss and fight

If you don't know me by now
You will never never never know me

We've all got our
Own funny moods
I've got mine,
Woman you've got yours too
Just trust in me like I trust in you
As long as we've been together
It should be so easy to do
Just get yourself together
Or we might as well say goodbye
What good is a love affair
When you can't see eye to eye

singapore flyer

singapore flyer is best utilised during the day. went with my buds and spend 30min taking crazy pictures! (i reckon thats the only place we will take photos, put us in a house and we wont spend 30min taking photos HAHA)
~
hair accounts for more than 50% of ones looks(scientifically proven) and someones been feeling lousy for the past 1 month.

beautiful

had tonnes of sleep recently, and im lovin it even though it has the highest risk of stiff neck HAHA
~
its quite peaceful these days. guess they were right i just needed to talk=)

ern piaw

ern piaw's tha bom! yes! today went to support him at the boxing ring. he K.O. his opponent in 5min! ill never forget what ive seen. all the clean hits, the 2 direct blow to his 'powerhouse' and that rope rebound smash on his face! never been so happy before.
~
somehow i was kept from feeling terrible today. thank you liyana, ern piaw, ben, jerry, edmund, huishan, jasmine and chuiting!

ps- i need you to keep me from going insane

down

i think the freshkon model's pretty. her complexion, and her big eyes. today was utterly boring. something was wrong today, i could go out of shop for long periods and manager dint call me back.
~
have you ever thought about how useful/useless you are? maybe born to think isn't a good idea. ive been thinking that one day, im gonna die cause i think too much. too lonely. too useless. too weak. too unwanted.

ps- im nowhere perfect, maybe someday someone will realise me for that.

new idea

yes, went to the new kallang leisure mall, simmy boy shaved 50cts off parking cupon ticket (that poor boy) by doin time management haha.. had dinner at koufu before takin a walk around, theres a skating rink over there! other entertainment are like bowling, cinema and arcade which still has datona usa (-_-|)
~
theres too many things in life which we never understand. well ive decided that while many people are having fun in their lives (and i find that life is boring), i want to find out what ive overlooked all these years.

ps- i think that smell is an overlooked sense which ive to mention cause the shower stuff my neighbour uses is so alluring!

Giving

i used to think that if i gave everything i could to another person, that person would love me in reture. then i learnt that we tend to love the people we give to- more than the people we recieve from. the more you give, the more your love grows. its like the same when our parents give to us. the more they do for us, the more they love us. however, its not true the opposite way. most often, the kids who revieve a lot seem to resent their parents the most.

love flows in the direction of giving. love and giving come together. we tend to think that loving leads to giving because we see people giving to someone they love, but its actually the way around. 'the one who gives, loves'.

love doesnt last cause people tend to be takers, not givers. when two people are strongly attracted to one another, they become givers and lovers. after a while, these strong feelings lose their grip and people relapse into being takers, and each start making demands on the other. when demands begin, love departs.

meaning

life is starting to lose its meaning for me. if all life is about is waiting for death then why dont we shortcut it? they said that theres no shortcut to life, thats bullshit. and then they say that sucide's sin. shortcuts aint sin damnit, thats called intelligence.

i believe i had this thought once, about whether having high IQ or not is beneficial (not to mention EQ). well, having high IQ is good, but not when its operating system is shortcut based haha.. find the answer lies in death.

theres really no meaning to a lot of things in life. everyone just makes the simple things in life difficult. theres only a few essentials in life- food sleep shelter sex. how on earth did owning cars, properties become so important?

and a lot of people are making me lose faith in a lot of things which i believed were important or necessary to me. thank you. cause at least i realised that things which may have been important to me aren really needs. they were merely wants.

nothing's a need in life unless its for survival. food water shelter air. thats all.

nice

And I can't help but wait till you get that with him, it don't change
can't help but wait till you see that wit me it ain't the same

i saw it

to whom it may concern,

ive no idea how you found my blog and placed the address on my computer table. really.. my blog is so easy to find, even the web browsers have it. so what if you found it? doesnt make you some kinda powerful figure and now, warning me that i gotta be careful of what i write.

and you dint have to ask me if i had a blog in the first place, and then prove to me that im lying when i said no. fucking retard. yes, you.

think before you act.

fuket

just what have i done? my hair's short as hell! there goes my dreams! screw hairdressers. screw it my hairdresser closed down.. and screw it the new hairdresser suckass. whyd your shop close!? now i gotta find another stable hairdresser.. just when i got everything upright and steady..

guess what

seriously. i thought that im the only one in this. apparently everyone's in it but noone realises it. =/ oh well.. while most people believe that they have the most exciting lives, thinking they have the most interesting and happening friends around, doing possibly the coolest things there is on earth, i could be put in the same situation and find it to be quite disappointing.

i happened to place myself in the shoes of an outsider and had a look at my past 2 posts. i told myself- wow! this guy must be having fun! in reality, the whole event was really ordinary to me, not as fun as i had made it seem.

~

i walked across a basketball match the other day after classes and wondered 'why would these 10 players wanna play basketball when theres gonna be a loser team, and after the whole game all they gained was either a win or improved fitness. while they will lose time and energy. (yeah im startin to sound like a fat guy.) the people who watched the match was at a even greater loss. they had nothing to gain but a good time, which was really subjective.

if i could, then i would just not do anything cause everything's a waste of time and energy. but im a hypocrite. i still use the computer when people find it retarded, and i think that im making full use of my time but thats not exactly true either.

thats why im so unmotivated. and thats why nothing's interesting. but ive found a solution to my problem, and i hope its right.

haha

Birthday

alright! im not a photo guy, nor a 'blog about my life' kinda guy but it gona happen anyway-
4/5- went dancing with peu in the afternoon and we reached Citra's party a lil off timing but still managed to get to eat some good food and all! had some photos taken-

the pretty birthday girl Citra with the guys!


the 3 weird things in this masquerade pic- the glowing mask on the left, the gay pride pose in the middle, and the white mask next to the gay pride guy.

Citra's birthday was at GV Gold Class cinema, watched Iron man! Nice show! go watch it!


while watching ironman, i secretly enjoyed a huge slab of Citra's Gelato Chocolate cake with really sweet stuff covering it. Gelato means fat free i think? but hell it was nice.


Liy came after work to give Citra her present and so we headed off to Orchard starbucks after the movie to chit chat. i thought she got another cake for Citra, but... ITS FOR ME! OMFGWTFBBQ! haha yes! its my birthday now!


yes! never ever had a birthday gathering on 5/5 itself like this!


Thank you guys! (and Citra who was taking the photo)


and Citra's pressie! an ATM! ahah! says i gotta save


And woke up to 5/5. (the last time im gona be wearing the star of dave)


Mom taking funny photos, on our way to>


HE PI-Z CARLTON! haha the Ritz Carlton


okay mom's funny photo, but i envy the spectacle design! HAHA


yes! Ritz DimSum Lunch! in the middle of the dining room there's nice decorations-


and abalone soup,



Mom and her fruit punch,


udon,


Mango dessert!


and thanks to bro for taking the photos cause i dont like taking photos


except for this =p


oh and us walkin from the hotel!


thanks mom for the early freedom! 0.14carrot white gold! (its gona replace the star of dave)

some words. 4/5 was fun! and the surprise birthday celebration at midnight, was splendid! never expect you guys to stay back specially for me! this is wonderful!

dad and mom specially took a day off for my birthday. this has never happened before! lunch at the Ritz Carlton was funny- everyone there were all business class and chatting so loudly and laughing fakely while we were quietly chatting about how funny this whole atmosphere was. had tonnes of laughs over lunch =) thanks mom for specially booking the lunch gathering else this year would have been all the other years =)

accompanied bro while he waited for his friend who was late before leaving him. decided to pay Liying a visit at her place but she declined and gave alot of excuses. lesson learnt- dont ask. just go and visit her. =p ahh tomorrow can see her at kbox anyway.

had some alone time at hougang mall after that cause i dint want to go home. noone knew it was my birthday there, haha also cause i keep a low profile at hougang mall anyway.

i wouldn say this is the best birthday one can have, it was the best birthday ive ever had, but this wasn the perfect birthday for me. somehow, i myself dont have an image of what my perfect birthday would be like, i think its just, the feeling of friends gathered on this special occasion would be enough for me. if theres some things ive seen, its that ive gotta plan for a birthday celebration in future, so that i dont feel like the other years. thank you everyone, and Citra especially for the best birthday ever, and Liyana for the sinful cake:D

ps- Citra, youre gonna be gone for awhile, i hope i dont miss you while youre gone. i want you to know that youve opened my life to tonnes of things which you yourself may have no idea what youve done. no matter what, youll be in my heart forever. these 3 years, though short, you have left a deep mark in my life. i dont have much feelings, but ive finally realised that this crazy feeling i have for you was a best friend kinda feeling, even though everyone else dint think so. the days we went jogging together, the mad dentist visit. thats what best friends are for anyway wasnt it? if you do read this, do come back often and visit us and me. tell me about all the nice things youll be seeing at manchester, in indo, and wherever you go. i hope this friendship lasts forever. always wanting you to have the best, you already do.

good day

thank you, Citra, Liyana and everyone who did crazy never before stunts.

Haha

I was sitting on the fence, and I thought that I would kiss you. I never thought I would've missed you, but you never let me fall- Push my back against the wall every time you call, you get so emotional I'm freakin' out

Ring ring- is that you on the phone? You think you're clever but you're never saying nothing at all..

You got a dangerous obsession now.. I'm in need of some protection. That was never my intention.

Used to love me now you hate me. See I drove you crazy. Well if I did, you made me. Won't somebody save me from you now? Its words I wanted until you lost it.

Why won't you leave me alone? Hang up the phone. Just let me go.

Happy ending?

This is the way you left me, I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory, No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love, like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life, but not together.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' everyday

only you

yes you, my number one.

akan datang

sales and more.

you want the truth?

theres only one main way which people connect by. feelings. it can be broken into two sub-categories. having feelings or having no feelings. love, like, hate, detest are feelings.

*
i dont have much feelings but when i do i treasure it, and make efforts to keep it cause thats rare for me.

i like

the way you talk
the way you walk
your smile
the comfort with you
the way you go dazed when we interlock eyes
it to end- youll never believe that
you

This is for you, you, my number one

Spotlights, big stage
Fifty thousand fans screamin' in a rage
Bodyguards and limousines
This is the way I see you in my dreams
Paparazzi flash, hundred pictures all of you
Hangin' on my bedroom wall
I'm a kid again, I feel like thirteen
But I knew since we fell in love

I'll be your groupie baby
Cuz you are my superstar
I'm your number one fan, give me your autograph
Sign it right here on my heart
I'll do all that I can
To show you how super you are

Front row, there I am
Jumpin' and hollerin' waving full fledge
Would you notice me, it'll be
Drove twelve hours girl just to see
Your pretty face one more time
Bought my ticket I was first in line
This is a metaphor to show how I adore
Baby I do

Now you know how I feel
You're truly special
Your love is legendary to me
Without you my life stands still
I'll never leave your world
Treat you like a diva girl
Girl you're one of a kind
Cuz they don't make 'em like you anymore
So you'll be your fans life
I dedicate this to my superstar for all time

moving on

"When you come back I won't be here." She said it gently pulled me near "If you wanna talk, you can call, and no, it's not your fault."

I just smiled and said: "Let go of me now there's something I just gotta know. Did someone else steal my part?"

She said: "It's not your fault"

When I came back she wasn't there just a note left over there "If you wanna talk, give me a call"

My heart did time else where while waiting for the lie to come true.
Cause it's all so dark and mysterious when the one you want doesn't want you too.

hemophobic

and it sucks when i go all jelly limbs when i see blood, but not when i naturally nosebleed. (i just admire the blood there)

revelation

i died in my dreams what was that supposed to mean?

im glad i had that though, cause it made me realise, that death wasn't painful. its the fear and pain which happens before death which is painful.

seriously.. theres so much things to say yet when it comes down to penning them down, i cant.. or it just fizzles away..

damn

you gotta hate the times you fall sick cause it hurts. and i cant think straight haha

stasis

damn monster hunter's putting my life at halt again. oh well.

you may not realise this, but your life is beginning

yeah im lovin it =) well okay ive gotten level 1 nailed, but it seems like i cant get the other levels down just as yet. and brother keith pointed out something to me, and he's right. im an extremist. "either you do it all the way with your all or you dont do it at all".

alright- perception is very important. believe in yourself, and 90% of the battle is won. oh yeah brother keith- im sorry this one month's changes were so drastic, its cause we see each other so often that you saw the transition haha (the others who are wondering whats going on have no idea).

oh yeah, i forgot another thing- regarding to my post on 4/3, it still stands.

seriously i dun understand how can anyone blog so much (im at a loss for words).

ps- when you have nothing supressing you, sky's the limit. so aim for the clouds and land in the mud, rather than aiming for the mud and making it.

hi josh, (personal rant)

youve come a long way from where you were and im proud of you. looks like you were never disappointing yourself huh? started out with apparently good chromosomes, good upbringing, lucky habits, and your path is really so much easier for you to reach the bulls eye as compared to others.

well cya, wusvile, you said a month back, and look at you, youve gained 5 years of maturity in a month. the posession of choice is power, and while you gained more power, others could not drain your power became weak and demoralised. you saw it for yourself, how the power shifted from their side to yours, and how much content youre getting now is unbelievable.

hope youre gona keep goin up, cause that's the only way ill feel proud of you. and so you know, youve become more humble that now you dont realise your achievements until i have to tell you. im not gona say anything about that, but just so you know, youre unbelievable.

yeah just before ill give you another thumb, lemmie check that dejavu with sim. it will piss me off if i relised that whatever youve told me was fake, and even more ill think of you as a psycho. on the other hand if it was real, i cant freakin believe you actually did that.

so what's your next task? should you try the crazy plan you had a few days ago? you know when you do you may return to stasis but there's gonna be a different education there. or should you engage into double education? i think its gona be tiring. concentrate on one first, there's something else i have up for you, take it as a refresher course, it has something to do with that crazy guy this morning.

there's so much i can give you, but how much can you take? you seem to be half hearted at times. perhaps, you already have some things inside you which wasn realised until i pointed to you.

im not crazy.

how i wish

you gave it to me in the face

life

hey life. fuck you. im gonna go against you if thats what you want. im not gonna settle for what i have but what i want.

in time ill win. in your face.

personal thoughts

so im gona pen some thoughts vaguely,
i have been thinking to myself, how i could do something well, and at the same time do something with haste. maybe i havent spent enough time developing them techniques and become incompetent. and i dare say i dont think i have been really wrecking my brains to think about how to, something like the idea's there, but not well thought of.

and when i get something started, i cant really continue, most of the time i think im doing something wrong in the middle. or maybe im just putting too much effort that when i dont get the desired results i get disappointed?

expectations- its better to aim for the clouds and land in the mud than to aim for the mud and make it.

i know some strengths and weaknesses, but its kinda terrible cause life's a balance, everything we improve, something else will deprove.

you

it happens once in awhile where ill miss you and want to see that youre fine. i hope it doesnt happen while youre gone.

intel inside

mina-san! im currently upgrading, and wont be out for awhile (cept for work etc.) rest assured when im back, something different awaits!

perfect is naive.

These days

These days are great, there's work to do.
Would you like to work with me, I'd love to work you.
These days are great and so are you.
I think it's something positive, and negative too.

maybe

iven been too honest with my emotions all these while. maybe i thought that a logical thinking would make me act rationally thus reap better results. maybe ive been wrong all these while.

right now im goin crazy cause iven been too honest with my emotions. yea man its an emotional dysfunction. people say that eq and iq are inversely proportional. gosh i think maybe having high iq's nice but eq shouldn go to the gallows!

haha oh and there's this small thing, i regret, i regret, and ive been regretting for a whopping 2 years already. oh well, i wont say dint try to move on, but i dint try in the first place haha now thats why its killin me.

to whom may read this

people change.

with you

I need you boo, I gotta see you boo
And the hearts all over the world tonight,
Said the hearts all over the world tonight

Yes, you're a winner
And I'm so glad to be yours,
You're a class all your own
Oh, little cutie When you talk to me
I swear the whole world stops
You're my sweetheart
And I'm so glad that you are mine
You are one of a kind and

You mean to me what I mean to you and
Together baby, there is nothing we won't do
Cause if I got you, I don't need money,
I don't need cars, girl, you're my all.

And I'm into you,
And girl, No one else would do,
Cause with every kiss and every hug,
You make me fall in love,
And now I know no I can't be the only one,
I bet there heart's all over the world tonight,
With the love of they life who feel
What I feel when I'm With you Girl

I don't want nobody else,
Without you, there's no one left then,
You're like Jordans on Saturday,
I gotta have you and I cannot wait now,
Say you care for me,
You know I care for you,
You know that I'll be true,
You know that I won't lie,
You know that I would try,
To be your everything

And I will never try to deny,
that you're my whole life,
I don't need another woman,
I just need your all and nothing,
Cause if I got that, then I'll be straight
Baby, you're the best part of my day

break

okay! it aint a sin for me to say im broke or is it? HAHA! i got to earn enough for this preset for my beloved, and gosh its gona take me months to earn!

i haveta admit, today was the greater outings ive had in months for more reasons than one!
(so dont change it)

tiring

haha im zombie as im writing this! tomorrow im goin to work again im so tired! wed+thurs work so tired liao i thought it was friday (sat last day work before 2day break haha) gosh im hallucinating and i forgot to wear my watch 2 days in a row already i miss my watch and i miss alot of people and i have no time to contact them.

'i think youll be reading this, and im happy just with the thought of that cause at least i know youre thinking of me, even if we dont say it. im thinking of you too!!'

moving on, i know you wont be reading this, but i think im a terrible person!! im caught in a spot cause im too nice, people misunderstand me. okay so stop assuming things when i do certain things. ill do anything for my friends, so youre not special. but ill go the extra mile for those i care about. (and i figured- it will be if i still think of them when im not physically with them.)

hey

work is never ending. dont let it trap you in the cycle.

realise it.

off day!!

haha yay i got a decent off day today! sleep till songbo, computer till songbo, and had my decent meals!! hohoho!

i realised that im like on some kinda mad energy saving mode. somehow i dont feel much, i dont think much either. just do things as it happens, frankly i find it hard to type right now hahaha cause im reading manga, or cause im just not thinking..

sometimes it gets tiring feeling haha

somehow.. everyone knows me for being very nice. and it pierced me once when someone said 'I thought you treat me like how you treat everyone else so i dint really care' haha pain leh damnit!

honourable mention

yup its when you decide that someone's worth your breath.

blogger

blogger's been messin around with me, cant blog for the past few days cause they say i look like im sending them virus responses haha oh well.. hope this works when i publish it.. oh oh! been super busy this week to blog too (aside from the blogger issue)!!

mon- work
tue- sentosa
wed- work, club
thu- work, movie
fri- work, mahjong
sat- work, chalet
sun- church


im not gonna let work suck my fun away okay! so there goes!

(whered my intelligent lively underestimated and youthful girl go?)

Asiamall hohoho

okay! so lets not talk too much bout work but the things around the mall hohoho! today i went to work, then belinda, my mall colleague came to visit me! okay i was really bz doin the trial lens check, and took breaks at the arcade hohoho! so eventually i decided to go down and meet my mall colleagues! trish is like the funniest customer service officer in asiamall! somehow can joke with her about alot of nonsens HAHA! okay so i went back to work, and in the evening alex, wang and sherman came to get their glasses (the 3 rich asses who gave me a 1.8k sales figure in a day whoops) haha after dispensing their glasses, i went to play arcade with them. then trish came with her sis to check eye. okay!! END

if you ask me, ill say that optom's the best job in the mall i suppose (i mean for the salaried workers) in many more reasons which i shant explain here :) its a misconception though i feel, cause we did do 3 years of hell, it wasn for nothing. sides, we arent selling spectacles only. we are selling a skill and

guess what

during primary school, my family went to watch the national day parade at the stadium. i wasn particularly intereted in the performance, but i was shocked once we got there. there were people everywhere i looked, and the ones on the other side of the stadium looked like squirming grains of rice all packed together. i wondered if every last person in singapore had gathered in this place. and so i asked dad- exactly how many people were in the stadium? his answer was that a full stadium would mean around fifty thousand people.

after the parade, the path from the stadium was flooded with people. the sight stunned me. so many people were around me, and yet they only made up a small fraction of the people insingapore. once i got home, i got a calculator and did the math. we learned that the singapore population was four million in some social studies. divide fifty thousand into that, and you only get 1%. i was stunned again. not only was i just one little person in that sea of people in that stadium, but that sea of people, were merely a drop in the ocean. i had always thought of myself to be a special person up until that point. i enjoyed being with my family, and most of all, i thought that my class in my school had the most interesting and happening people in the world. but when i realised that that wasn the case, the things that happened in what i believed to be the most enjoyable class in the wolrd, could be found happening in any school. everyone in singapore would find them to be ordinary occurrences.

once i realized this, my surroundings were becginning to lose their color. brush my teeth every evening, wake up and eat breakfast in the morning, people do those everywhere. when i realized that everyone did all these things on a daily basis, everything started to feel boring. and if there were so many people in the world, there had to be someone living an interesting life that wasn ordinary. im sure of that, but why isnt that person me? that was all i could think about until i graduated from secondary school. and in the process, i realised something. nothing fun will happen if i sit around waiting. so i figured i would change myself in poly. let the world know i wasnt the guy contented with sitting around and waiting. and i conducted myself accordingly.

in the end, nothing ever happened. i got tired of how everyone thought i was unusual, how everyone backstabbed me and i eventually stopped believing in myself, stopped trying to find a more extraordinary world. i become another common people because people stopped disturbing me that way. noone could accept difference. before i knew it, i was out of poly. i thought something would have changed.

TBC.

heard hes gay

Every endless night has a dawning day
Every darkest sky has a shining ray
And it shines on you baby cant you see
Youre the only one who can shine for me
It takes a lot to laugh as your tears go by
But you can find me here till your tears run dry

When your soul is tired and your heart is weak
Do you think of love as one way street
Well it runs both ways, open up your eyes
Cant you see me here, how can you deny

Its a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me

maybe thats what it is, its never about me

oh joy- i woke up this morning to see some happy valentine's day wishes, and decided to ask my old neighbour out for lunch! we went to watch borat at her friend's house after that and we played mahjong!!! wa its really fun after ages of not playing and relaxing without freaking bets HOHOHO! so for all those guys who actually bought a bouquet of flower with a 100% price hike, suckerrrr haha i rather spend the cash on good food! and oh yeah! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE!

oh! oh! i was walking home this evening with mom, and this aunty selling ice cream came to us and asked us to buy some ice cream. its not those random people, like we usually always buy from her la its just that this time its kinda inconvenient to buy cause we had no hands, so i kinda asked her if she had plastic bag, and she said no, and i asked her if she can deliver it to our house instead cause its too inconvenient. she said no again, and i said i dont wana buy it. but in the end she thought i was joking cause when i said all those i was still in a smiling and happy tone im like WTF?! in the end mom bought em ice creams and i cant believe she actually let mom carry those ice creams without a carrier la. so much for service. i suppose youll never know when im serious or not since i cant express my emotions properly..

brother kk enlightened me on something and i realised that OMG! its true! haha so i was just chatting with citra, and i realised, maybe thats what it is. goshhh nowonder nothing else mattered..

movie! yay!

okay!! it wasn that bad being an organiser for once, though it was a real headache HAHA! that was kinda like the first step to initiative =D and really thank you all who turned up! i really appreciate it! and jacob!! hello long time never meet le!! dun run away so fast in future okay!! haha!!

jumper was a nice movie to me!! haha maybe cause i dont watch much movies to be a critic, but the animation was great! and supper ah, brinjal brinjal ah!!

next time i bring ",,,,"

work(again)

woohoo! today was a nice day! no funny customers!! okay so we did some cleaning up of the place for our manager's welcome and ill be off from wed-fri! yay!

i realised that its kinda true that experience plays a big part in terms of performance. im not gona say what shortcuts i have invented, but i can refract a simple myopic in 1min HAHA gosh i wonder what people would think of this optom- well at least i have confidence in my accuracy thanks to EXPERIENCE :D

its a tiring day. ill be bak~

at work

today was great! had 2k individual sales w00t! my main fish was these 3 high powered guys who wanted transitions HAHA in the end i did-
1- 1.5 transitions
1- 1.67 transitions
1- sting frame
2- 1.7 glass
2- oakleys
2- 1.59 airwear transitions

hohoho!! those were easy customers! but i also had difficult customers and weird ones today too!
had dinner with keith and gang after that yay! had a nice dinner!!

'Things aint as bad as it seems sometimes, you gotta taste bitter to know whats sweet, you gotta try flying before you say you cant.'

work work

hey! gosh i was just missing something out aint i? bloggg. okay i procrastinate everytime before doing anything so it explains why i hardly reply anything or do anything cause i feel that other things are more important and ill procrastinate. okay so on to work, i feel that work seriously kills tonnes of people. i personally never thought that ill be caught in this deadly cycle, and i even wanted to find a escape for this. unfortunately, reality states that you work or starve. i asked mom about her opinion of work, she said 'without work very hard to kill time' haha thats true ba.. unless we have things to do. i find that working in the optical shops can be fun cause of meeting new people, and talking and talking all the way as a job. recently ive been given more responsibilities in work such as sales data entry and all the service notes, bla bla..

actually whats responsibility? by definition its where a particular burden of obligation is placed upon someone. hmm.. which also means that if nothing was expected of me, how can i be considered irresponsible? maybe theres also something called initiative? okay now that got me thinking.. i will always do things which im supposed to do which means im responsible. maybe i just dont have the initiative HAHA gosh its nowonder im havin so much issues with starting on whatever i needa do! gotta learn how to take initiative from now onwards! hooo!!

happy birthday

to my friend- happy new year and happy birthday. i hope youll read this soon cause when that happens i know youre the way youre supposed to be. the other day i visited you but you dint know i was there, i realised that while some people live to die, youre probably dying to live. i suppose we never appreciate what we have till its gone? someone told me that my emotions are really hidden inside me that i dont express or know my own feelings. well, im just gona be frank here.. i tried feeling. i couldn, even though youre very important to me. get well soon, ma. dont leave me without a word.


to everyone, happy new year!! gosh the snacks are heating us up! remember to drink tonnes of cooling shit! HUAT AH!

what do you do? (eh emo sia)

I got a one-way ticket on a hell-bound train
With nothing to lose and nothing to gain
Nobody ever taught me how to live
I’m feeling like I’m lost like I’ll never be found
I’m twisted and I’m turned around
Nobody ever taught me how to love
I’m hurting everybody I’m hurting myself

So what do you do
When it all comes down on you
Do you run and hide
Or face the truth

If you were to tell me that I’d die today
This is what I’d have to say
I never really had the time to live
And if you were to give me just another chance
Another life another dance
All I really want to do is love

personality

My Personality

Neuroticism	23
Extraversion	46
Openness to Experience	28
Agreeableness	80
Conscientiousness	58

You rarely get angry and it takes a lot to make you angry, however mostly your emotions are on an even keel and you do not get depressed easily. You tend not to talk much and prefer to let others control the activities of groups. You prefer facts over fantasy and are more interested in what is happening in the real word. You dislike confrontations and are perfectly willing to compromise or to deny your own needs in order to get along with others, however you are not affected strongly by human suffering, priding yourself on making objective judgments based on reason. You are more concerned with truth and impartial justice than with mercy. You take your time when making decisions and will deliberate on all the possible consequences and alternatives.

feelings

ohh the frankness of lynn had shot me down from the sky. woo!! chalet, lynn said 'maybe joshua has never ever had feelings for anyone'. i know for sure, i dont like feeling anything other than neutral. theres this email on facebook saying that tonnes of people put pics up haha i have never been a fan of pictures cause i dont like to look back on my past. somehow, i saw those pictures of genting trip, chalet and all, i felt like i missed all my friends. (already!?)

feelings huh? somehow my impression of feeling is nothing but pain. im usually so happy its like happy is neutral for me, and neutral is well, worse than neutral for me. we all know that 'love is only a feeling'. that is so true, and some may lie, backstab, or to the extreme kill just for love. that aside, when you miss someone, you feel a sinking feeling in your chest. when you love someone, the slightest things can make you hurt. and well, people who are in a relationship with more than one person could be considered liking more than one person at a time, but can never be considered mature enough to seriously love anyone.

well im no one to judge cause different people have different opinions on affections anyway. i know its gona sound gay, and unexpected from me, but i really do miss all you dopt people. im confident to say i dint do anything to harm you all, but sadly, i dint do enough. many thanks to all the people who realised who i really am, and those who pulled me through all my down times=)

'The only reason why people don't like you is cause they don't know you yet.'

a new blog?

school's over!! working rocks man! i think i should blog a lil more just to kill my boredom from now onwards haha! though i think many people would be expecting this blog to be dead, or reaking with the stench of alcohol, at least this gives me more privacy to express myself yay!

my comp sucks.. too much lag that accessing and utilising blogger is such a pain most of the time.. well ill try to make it a point to blog as often as i can!! hohoho!!

Wrong impressions

Didn't they say that I would make a mistake
Didn't they say you were gonna be trouble
People told me you were too much to take
I could see it, I didn't wanna know
I let you in and you let me down
You pushed me up and you turned my whole life around
I could feel that I had no where to go
I was alone, how was I too know that
After all we've been through
I'd be able to put my whole trust in you
Goes to show you can't forgive and forget
looking back, I have no regrets cause..

You'll be there, when I needed somebody
You'll be there, the only one who can help me

I had a picture of you in my mind
never knew it could be so wrong
Why'd it take me so long just to find
the friend that was there all along.

sometimes

Now, I don't want to lose you, but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you, but I don't want to be the one to cry.

And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.

It makes a sound like thunder, it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.

There's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Maybe sometimes, love just ain't enough.

Over You

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Read

Don't think that you got me girl
Don't think you can tame me and change me
Don't think that it's all because of you
Just because I don't run around
Just because we're forever together
Don't you think of a four letter word to use

So what if I just don't want anybody else but you
So what if you're all that I ever really wanna do
I know what you're thinking, but that doesn't make it true

So if my heart just skips a beat
What if I lose a little sleep
Believe me

I'm not in love, no not at all
What makes you think you made me fall
I slip but no, I'm not in love
What if I just can't sleep at night
I see your face in the starry sky
The way you feel, it makes it right...I'm not in love

Apologize

I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say

It's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

the pieces dont fit anymore

i've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small
i've been drawing the line and watching it fall
you've been closing me in , closing the space in my heart
watching us fading and watching us fall apart

well i can't explain why it's not enough
coz i gave it all to you
and if you leave me now
oh just leave me now
it's the better thing to do

it's time to surrender
it's been too long pretending
there's no use in trying
when the pieces don't fit anymore

oh, don't misunderstand how i feel
coz i've tried, yes i've tried
still i don't know why
no i don't know why

you pulled me under so i had to give in
such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
well i'll hide all the bruises; i'll hide all the damage that's done
but i show how i'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

you got what you deserved

You spend your nights alone
And he never comes home
And every time you call him
All you get's a busy tone
I heard you found out
That he's doing to you
What you did to me
Ain't that the way it goes
Girl you got what you deserved
You cheated girl
My heart bleeds girl
So it goes without saying that you left me feeling hurt
And now you want somebody
To cure the lonely nights
You wish you had somebody
That could come and make it right
But girl I ain't somebody with a lot of sympathy
You'll see what goes around comes back around

Maybe you were always on my mind

Maybe I didn't treat you quite as good as I should
Maybe I didn't love you quite as often as I could
Maybe I didn't hold you all those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you, I'm so happy that you're mine
If I made you feel second best, I'm so sorry, I was blind
Little things I should've said and done, I never took the time
But you were always on my mind, you were always on my mind
(Maybe I didn't love you..)

Life

life is a bed of thorned roses. enjoy the smell, or suffer the thorns, we have a choice. we could always look at the positive things in life but the fact is that humans always look at the negative things in life. naturally, how can we enjoy the smell if there is pain and suffering from the thorns? so with that being said, why cant we attempt to neglect the negative things in life instead, and focus on how beautiful life is? thats what im trying to do, its just that the thorns are the things which wakes us from our dreams.

zouk

okay, after deciding to go despite tests and exams around the corner, its inter-jc prom night! with an entrance fee of $20, i got 2 house pours. vodka sprite and burborn coke. its becoming like a common drink for me when ive no idea what to get, and have some cheap thrill of alcohol killing my liver. i wasnt very concerned with the competition going on, and i dont exactly like the environment last night, and i suppose its purely cause i feel geeked-out. tonnes of jc graduated having fun around me aint my cup of cocktail. zouk by itself aint quite bad of a place, although i expected it to be alot bigger, history said it used to be a warehouse. the size of zouk's main dancefloor and area is about 6 classrooms put together, with 7 bar counters throughout the whole area. there wasnt any dance last night though, cause everyone went there just to see the prom kings and queens. ive to admit, the crowned prom queen wasnt as pretty as the runner ups. im shocked that she won.

really.

FIRST real blog post of mine! alright this doesnt come often, but just to fill you in on my friday wasted goin out when im supposed to be studying instead, out the whole day! okay im gona fill you in on my 2hour train ride only though haha!

papa fetched me serangoon mrt station and at 1.27 i boarded the train. intended to meet a friend at outram but she changed the venue to dover-_- so i had to wait for trev at clarke quay instead. on my way to clarke quay, i saw this lolita goth girl, attached is the picture below.


shes freaking smoking in the train! woot! tell you, shes won total admiration of me. i mean who has that guts to freaking smoke in the train?

okay then i went to dover, and trev pangseh me to meet his sis instead. so much for waiting for him. met my friend, and went back to kovan.


train fare- $0.76! i had 11 min more before i got to pay $2 for staying in the train for 2hours.

my dream christmas present

absinthe- a hard liquor banned in most countries due to its 'green fairy' side effects has finally been found on my motherland! with alcoholic concentration of 70(mint), 75(berry) and 85(licquorice)% respectively in the above picture, its surely something i would want in my fridge! omg! a bottle costs $200, depending on alcoholic content.

bubble tea

i quit. cause im noob and got owned and cause im too tired to play tennis! whaahah. okay while i cant sponsor the balls or second hand any racquets, to show my appreciation to 4 other individuals, you all all entitled to 1 free bubble tea of any flavour from fc1 this thursday(7/12) from me.

and, the first person who can answer this question by this wednesday (2359hrs), will be entitled to 1 free bubble tea of any flavour. answers would be entertained by the tagboard on the right, so we know who answered first. if noone gets the answer right, it will be revealed on 8/12.

A mother is 21 years older than her son now.
In 6 years time, she will be 5 times older than her son.
Qn: Where is the father now?

personality test?

You are introverted, reserved, and quiet with a preference for solitude and solitary activities. Your socializing tends to be restricted to a few close friends. You can be very easily upset, even by what most people consider the normal demands of living. People consider you to be extremely sensitive and emotional. As a practical person you like to think in plain and simple terms. Others describe you as down-to-earth, practical, and conservative. People see you as tough, critical, and uncompromising and you have less concern with others' needs than with your own. You like to live for the moment and do what feels good now. Your work tends to be careless and disorganized.

You feel tense, jittery, and nervous and often feel like something dangerous is about to happen. You may be afraid of specific situations or be just generally fearful. You don't usually get angry too easily but some things can annoy you. You tend to lack energy and have difficult initiating activities. You are sensitive about what others think of you. Your concern about rejection and ridicule cause you to feel shy and uncomfortable around others. You are easily embarrassed and often feel ashamed. Your fears that others will criticize or make fun of you are exaggerated and unrealistic, but your awkwardness and discomfort may make these fears a self-fulfilling prophecy. You do not experience strong, irresistible cravings and consequently do not find yourself tempted to overindulge. You are poised, confident, and clear-thinking when stressed.

People generally perceive you as distant and reserved, and you do not usually reach out to others. You tend to feel overwhelmed by, and therefore actively avoid, large crowds. You often need privacy and time for yourself. You like to speak out, take charge, and direct the activities of others. You are usually the leader in group activites. You lead a leisurely and relaxed life. You would prefer to sit back and smell the roses than indulge in high energy activities. You get overwhelmed by too much noise and commotion and do not like thrill-seeking activities. You are not prone to spells of energetic high spirits.

You prefer facts over fantasy and are more interested in what is happening in the real word. You are not interested in the arts and do not display aesthetic sensitivity. You tend not to express your emotions openly and are sometimes not even aware of your own feelings. You prefer familiar routines and for things to stay the same. You can tend to feel uncomfortable with change. You prefer dealing with either people or things rather than ideas. You regard intellectual exercises as a waste of your time. Often you exhibit a readiness to challenge authority, convention, and traditional values. Sometimes you feel a certain degree of hostility toward rules and perhaps even enjoy ambiguity.

You mostly assume that people are honest and fair, however you are wary and hold back from trusting people completely. You see no need for pretense or manipulation when dealing with others and are therefore candid, frank and sincere. People find it relatively easy to relate to you. You do not particularly like helping other people. Requests for help feel like an imposition on your time. You dislike confrontations and are perfectly willing to compromise or to deny your own needs in order to get along with others. You feel superior to those around you and sometimes tend to be seen as arrogant by other people. You are not affected strongly by human suffering, priding yourself on making objective judgments based on reason. You are more concerned with truth and impartial justice than with mercy.

Often you do not feel effective, and may have a sense that you are not in control of your life. In general you tend to be disorganized and scattered. You have a strong sense of duty and obligation, and feel a moral obligation to do the right thing. You are content to get by with a minimal amount of work, and might be seen by others as lazy. You have a reasonable amount of will-power and are able to follow through on tasks that you feel you need to complete. You can be distracted however and have been known to procrastinate. You often say or do the first thing that comes to mind without deliberating alternatives and the probable consequences of those alternatives.

test yourself. no signing up required. http://www.pulseware.com.au/site_pi.asp?p=wpa-13659&sh=y&ms=y

happy winston and fern

so i was invited to a wedding dinner yesterday after not meeting them for over 5 years. aside from the 9 course dinner, i also had some beer and wine. white wine tastes a lot better than red wine i must say, and im quite sure its more expensive cause they served it in lesser proportion. oh well.. just too bad they dint serve heavier drinks. argh! i cant get my hands on the champaigne again!

great balls of fire fearful of thy father's wrath

now with 100% uv protection

edmund wife

i missed it

Norman Gaylord

In 1972, norman gaylord developed a silicone acrylate and patented it in 1972. This led other manufacturers to develop materials with higher oxygen permeability such as fluorosilicones, fluropolymers.

respek.

happy james and jeanelle

having the privilege of going to the grand hyatt for a wedding dinner, which included dishes containing sharks fin, abalone, crab, ginko nuts and many others, i even had some drinks. beer, red wine and a sickening martell. argh.. a foreign dark skinned waiter said 'this is heavy, take care brudder.' lol.. too bad the champaigne was for the bride and groom.. unfortunately tere was no pictures cause it was a wedding.

vintage

jacob say jacob not= peggy.