Friday, February 25, 2011
When blogging has become such a chore, updating it is no less an achievement in its own right.
I know for sure God has His purpose in all things that goes in and out of life, for all that is or has taken place has a reason all attached to it whether we do realise it now or at a later stage.
Yes, I am still without a job and should I be frustrated? I won't lie and say that I am not, I am truly frustrated but should I be so? It seemed as though I had sent out hundreds of resumes but so far only got called up for interviews of only 2 that I had sent and a couple more of which I did not send. Just sent out 5 this week, possibly another 2 or 3 over the coming weekend. Am I tired of sending and waiting? Yes I am.
A lot of people got a little shock when it came to their knowledge that I was going off for a random trip out of the country which had just randomly came to me and booked the flight 8 days before I flew. Some said I was mental and I thought I was too but I know why God had allowed the trip to happen.
Prior to leaving, i had 5 interviews within a span of 1 week and I was exhausted and frustrated as they were interviews for jobs that I wasn't interested in, didn't like it or for the job that I placed much hope in getting but got rejected in the end. I was frustrated that if I wasn't out for an interview, I'll be at home waiting and the whole world seemed to be busy or caught up with something and there was always this constant lack of people to talk to outside this house.
I'm running pretty dry on funds and this month my dad actually decided to cut my allowance from 300 bucks to 200 bucks which pretty much leave me a big fat ZERO for my daily expenses and i'm surviving on my ang pow money for now. Why the zero, you may ask. Let's see - I have $100 of insurance to pay monthly, that leaves me $100 of which around $35-40 goes to paying the handphone bill and the rest on transport. What am I going to eat for the whole month? My fingers? He said I'll get the other $100 when i get a job. The parentals are going on and on about getting a job, this and that. Come on, why are you talking and acting like I'm not doing anything? I'm sending my head off resumes, I'm going for random interviews and I am so freaking trying ok, I am TRYING! It's not my say if I get an interview or further still, land a job! Why I wonder, why is the whole world trying to squeeze the life out of me? I'm just so glad that it's the end of the month and it'll be March soon and I'll be getting my allowance again and I hope that they'll give me my whole $300. I've no more ang pow money to survive on anymore and I've no idea what I'm going to do if I don't get a job soon.
Going to Malaysia never did cross my mind and oh, did i mention that i flew there? The idea only came across when Jun Ai skyped in and mentioned it 2 Mondays before I left and suggested that I could probably spend a couple of days in Malaysia since I've yet to find a job and she only starts school this week and I could stay at her house. Was pretty frustrated on how things were going on for me here so just booked it with no qualms at all.
I guess I was going for all the right and wrong reason. I went because I just wanted to get out of the country and run from the frustrations but on the other hand, I did want to go visit Jun Ai, haven't seen her for more than 1.5 years! She was in Singapore last year but unfortunately I wasn't around and it just dawned on me how much I actually missed her. Met her at Wangsa Maju church when I was there on a week long church mission trip just over 2 years ago. It's just so rare being able to find someone you can actually talk to who's from another country and especially when you've only met them for a really short period of time. Home stayed at her house for 2 nights during the mission trip, so was partly there to visit her parents too. Amazing it is that when she came to my place to stay a few days when she was in Singapore in 2009, she found how similar my mum was to hers and that was exactly what I told her during the mission trip. Basically all of them are like a family to me away from home. So, what I realised was that God knew that I was frustrated and needed a short break and there it was, God knew I needed people to talk to and He sent Jun Ai in, God knew I needed encouragement and He provided it throughout the trip through Jun Ai and the people at the Wangsa Maju church. How greatful I am, is not for me to say because I have no words to describe it.
I may not have as many friends as a lot of people do but I know for a fact that my friends who I know personally and who knows me personally are one of the best that I can ever find. Good friends are friends that still do keep in touch with you effortlessly no matter what you're doing or where you are in this world and they are people that I treasure and hold close to my heart. Friends that stray and vanish after some time or go MIA indefinitely are just not meant to be. I know I'm blessed for God has blessed me with many good friends even through time of uncertainty especially in Australia and I am sure that there's nothing I should be worried about for as Jun Ai said, we have a wonderful God and He will always provide the best for us. If I didn't get the job, there may be one more out there that's probably more suitable for me. I trust Him and I shall be furthermore patient.
Next week will be a better week or at least that is what I am hoping. I want next week to be a better week and I am praying that next week will certainly be one.
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